Hladini Mataji – Love of God, Personified!

– To please Balaram or Nityananda?

I remember when I was one of the people who for years was assisting
me in my preaching to colleges was one of my God Sisters.

I’d like to tell you a little about her. You see what would happen as I
would give classes in the colleges in Philosophy and the Gita and
Sociology, History and just speak Bhakti to them from different points
of view and we were doing Hari Nam and we were doing book tables
and we were doing cooking classes, any creative way to some how
get people to come to Sunday programmes and every night of the
week we would have programmes in different colleges and gradually
people came forward and became devotees and then from those
people from those towns actually sponsored and started those
temples. Very wonderful, but I was the main person cultivating people
and almost half the people coming who were really taking serious
interest were ladies and I began the project as a Bramachari but at
this time I was a Sannyasi and I thought that women should be
preaching to cultivate these women. So, I went to one of my God
Sisters who was one of the most spontaneously enthusiastic lovers of
Krishna, I have ever seen in my life. Her name was Hladini. Now,
Hladini was the pujari for Jagannatha Baladev and Subhadra for many
years. She was the head pujari for many many years in the Madhuban
farm, but what happened is, she was getting dreams of Lord
Nityananda Prabhu who told her to go out and preach and then she
had dreams of Balaram saying how could you leave me, you have to
stay and take care of me, you are my pujari so she didn’t know what
to do? One night she had a dream and Nityananda Prabhu was
saying that all this ringing of the bells is for neophytes, go out and
preach and then Balaram who is Lord Nityananda would say, “Your
ringing the bells in your Puja is giving me great pleasure.You cannot
leave me. You must continue being pujari.” So, she would write me all
these letters. I still have some of them. She would be trying to get
guidance about what she should do? So finally, Nityananda Prabhu
was victorious and she got Deities of Gaur Nitai and she went out.
She wanted to know what to do? She came to me, “I need to preach
and Nityananda Prabhu wants me to preach and I don’t know
anything about preaching. I have been living on this farm covered with
mud doing pujari work and cutting wood and cooking for the last 15
years, what should I do?” And I said, “I know exactly what you should
do.” We’ll get you a van and you start a womens party, travel to all the
college preaching centers and preach to all the women and cultivate
them and make them devotees. So, she said, “Yes, I am very
enthusiastic”, but she kept Balram’s shoes and for her whole life the
shoe of Balaram was with her. It was a wooden shoe, too. She always
kept her head on the shoe of Balaram ji, wooden sandal, to always be
in Balaram’s service in the form of Lord Nityananda Prabhu and I
remember one time, I think it was in Cincinnati or Columbus, we were
doing Hari Nam and we had a book table and she had hers. Whatever
we did, she would set up her Gaur Nitai Deities and the police came
and arrested us, I was not there at that time because I would be
traveling different places but the police came to arrest and Hladini,
she said, “You cannot arrest us without arresting them”, she pointed
to the Deities.” Se said, “No, they are not dolls, those are not dolls. It
is on their orders that we are here chanting the holy names and
distributing books and prasad. It is on their order. How could you
arrest us without arresting them.” She spoke with such conviction they
said, “What are you talking about arrest? They are not even people.”
“No they are people, we are here under their order, you cannot arrest
us without arresting them!” So the police arrested the Deities
(laughter!) and they took the devotees and the Deities to jail for doing
HariNam Kirtan without permit or something like that and when they
went to see the magistrate she was saying the same thing, she was
saying… she brought the deities with her. She said, “It was on their
order, they have ordered us – Krishna is your mother, Krishna is your
father, Krishna is your life and soul, Krishna is your treasure, chant
Hare Krishna, worship Krishna, follow the teachings of Krishna, they
have ordered us to do so and give this message all over the world.
We are helpless. Whatever your laws are we cannot follow them
because they have given us their instruction and she spoke with such
conviction that the magistrate, the judge actually said, “All of you are
following their instructions then how can I arrest you? Just go out and
follow their instructions! (Jay Jay!) She didn’t need a lawyer. She had
her Gaur Nitai as her advocate. This was her faith. When I was there
she was doing unbelievable! I will tell you some thing about her love
for Krishna. It was so contagious that any female or any student or
townsperson that I would connect to her, that person could not give up
her association. They had to become devotees they just wanted to
help her in every way. They became blissful. She was love of God
personified – amazing person.

Hladini Mataji enters African Yatra

When I was sent to India and had to stay there and later on in New
Vrindavan they had made many changes. There was no kirtans, there
was no devotee dress, so many things and she was so deeply
immersed in chanting and Caitanya Caritamrita and the traditions of
Gaudiya Vaishnavas that these changes would break her heart that
when I came she was crying she was saying, “I can’t stay here. I can’t
follow this but I don’t want to offend any one. Please help me.” So
when Bhakti Tirth Maharaj came to New Vrindavan and Hladini and I
went to New Vrindavan and he gave a class where he was talking
about this incredible preaching he was doing in Africa. So about a
week later she asked me, “Do I have your blessings to go to Africa?
Because there I can worship Lord Nityananda without all these
restrictions.” So I said, “Let us talk with Maharaj.” So she drove her
van and I drove mine and we met at the Institute of Applied
technology and the 3 of us met in Bhakti Tirth Maharaj’s room and
had a very deep wonderful talk. She practically didn’t say a word. I
had to do all the speaking. She was just sitting there with tears in her
eyes and in the end Bhakti Tirth Maharaj just said, “This is the
greatest benediction to have a devotee like you. Is this really what you
want?” and she said, “Maharaj, please accept me as your servant.”
and she went to Africa.

Another interesting Story!

Should I tell you another interesting story about Hladini? (Hari bol!)
She was superbly excellent at preaching to people one on one but
she had never given a class in her life. She always longed to go to
Vrindavan. So one time I arranged for her to come to India. And we
took her to Vrindavan, Govardhan Parikrama, Barsana and
NandaGaon, so many places. She was intoxicated with spiritual love
the whole time she was there. It was amazing to see her there and
then we brought her back to Bombay and at that time Radhagopinath
Temple was just a little Dungeon downstairs with rats and roaches
and so called Bramachari! and we weren’t even allowed to come at
that time. Brahmacharis didn’t like us so we were having our
Bhagvatam classes at Srinathji Prabhu’s house. So one day I asked
Hladini that you please give class today and she just froze just like a
statue. She said, “No! I have never given a class. I cannot give a
class. No I will not give a class.” I said, “Hladini Devi, please give
Bhagvatam class. They would love to hear from you.” She said,
“These are all civilized cultured people and I am like an animal. I am
like a beast, how can I give class to them? I have no qualification I
don’t know the philosophy. I don’t know. I cannot give class. I’ll leave
this place if you make me give class. I can’t do it! I won’t do it!” I said,
“Alright, I’ll give class.” So we are all sitting there, about 20-25
devotees gathered in Srinathji Prabhu’s living room in Seaface Park.

And I chanted Jaya Radha Madhava….. Om Namo Bhagvate

Vasudevaya……. read the Sanskrit, the verse, the purport and then I
said, “Now Hladini Mataji will give class and I got up and I walked right
out and she said, “No! No! No!” and I just kept walking and I closed
the door and I locked the door and I kept walking down the stairs and
she couldn’t find me and in the mean while she was sitting there and
the devotees put the book in front of her, put the microphone in front
of her. Now what could she do? She started speaking. A few minutes
later I came back up the stairs and I looked through a little crack so
that she wouldn’t see me and began to listen. She was preaching,
magnificent class, she was preaching with such enthusiasm! At the
beginning for the 1st 10 minutes she would just apologize for not being
qualified and then she gave about a 2 hour class! The devotees were
enthralled, they were spell bound and after that day she never
stopped giving Srimad Bhagvatam Class.

Bhakti Tirtha Swami “Our spiritual relation

goes back to previous births”
So when she went to Africa, soon she was leading Hari Nam
Sankirtan Parties and getting 100s of African kids to dance and chant,
just what she loved to do. She was cooking Prasad and distributing it
to them. She was really a mother. She was giving fantastic class to
the devotees and soon she was on Television, Radio Magazines,
Newspaper Interviews practically every day. She was a media
sensation. Heads of state, government officials were coming to take
shelter of her. She was doing unbelievable preaching. She was totally
fearless and it was Bhakti Tirtha Maharaj’s inspiration. They had such
a deep connection. Any ways.. it is a long story… after some years
there was a political take over in Liberia and she happened to be
preaching there and her and about 8 other devotees were killed, they
were shot dead. What happened is that this gangster mob that took
over the government raided the Temple in the middle of the night and
lined up all the men to kill them and told Hladini, “Since you are a
woman we are not going to harm you can go.” But they shot one of
the devotee men and she couldn’t tolerate. A few weeks before this
incident she wrote me a letter and she said the only thing in life I fear
is offending a Vaishnava. There is no other fear I have in life and she
was telling me about the life and death situation in Liberia. Then they
started shooting devotees. She started shouting, “You cannot do this,
you cannot kill devotees!” There were military people with Guns all
around and the leader was shooting with a Pistol. she ran up to the
leader and grabbed his arms so he couldn’t kill the devotees she said
you cannot do this you cannot do this. She knew that she would be
killed. She literally grabbed the hand of the President of the country so
that he wouldn’t shoot the devotees and they just aimed her guns at
her and killed her. She would rather die than stand idly as devotees
were being killed. That was her integrity. Bhakti Tirtha Maharaj had
such deep gratitude of appreciation for Hladini. Their relationship on a
totally spiritual level was something extra ordinary. After she passed
away Maharaj told me that in her previous life she had male body and
they were both devotees and they were most intimate loving friends –
like brothers. He said, “Our relationship is so deep on a spiritual
platform that goes back to previous births.”