ESSAY TIPS
1. Imagine how the person reading your essay will feel.
No one's idea of a good time is writing a college essay, I know. But if sitting down to write your essay
feels like a chore, and you're bored by what you're saying, you can imagine how the person reading your
essay will feel. On the other hand, if you're writing about something you love, something that excites
you, something that you've thought deeply about, chances are I'm going to set down your application
feeling excited, too—and feeling like I've gotten to know you.
This college essay tip is by Abigail McFee, Admissions Counselor for Tufts University and Tufts ‘17
graduate.
2. Write like a journalist.
"Don't bury the lede!" The first few sentences must capture the reader's attention, provide a gist of the
story, and give a sense of where the essay is heading. Think about any article you've read—how do you
decide to read it? You read the first few sentences and then decide. The same goes for college essays. A
strong lede (journalist parlance for "lead") will place your reader in the "accept" mindset from the
beginning of the essay. A weak lede will have your reader thinking "reject"—a mindset from which it's
nearly impossible to recover.
This college essay tip is by Brad Schiller, MIT graduate and CEO of Prompt, which provides individualized
feedback on thousands of students’ essays each year.
3. Don't read the Common Application prompts.
If you already have, erase them from memory and write the story you want colleges to hear. The truth is,
admission reviewers rarely know—or care—which prompt you are responding to. They are curious to
discover what you choose to show them about who you are, what you value, and why. Even the most
fluid writers are often stifled by fitting their narrative neatly into a category and the essay quickly loses
authentic voice. Write freely and choose a prompt later. Spoiler alert...one prompt is "Share an essay on
any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt,
or one of your own design. " So have at it.
This college essay tip is by Brennan Barnard, director of college counseling at the Derryfield School in
Manchester, N.H. and contributor to the NYT, HuffPost, and Forbes on intentionally approaching college
admissions.
4. Show your emotions.
Adding feelings to your essays can be much more powerful than just listing your achievements. It allows
reviewers to connect with you and understand your personality and what drives you. In particular, be
open to showing vulnerability. Nobody expects you to be perfect and acknowledging times in which you
have felt nervous or scared shows maturity and self-awareness.
This college essay tip is by Charles Maynard, Oxford and Stanford University Graduate and founder of
Going Merry, which is a one-stop shop for applying to college scholarships
5. Revise often and early.
Your admissions essay should go through several stages of revision. And by revisions, we don’t mean
quick proofreads. Ask your parents, teachers, high school counselors or friends for their eyes and edits. It
should be people who know you best and want you to succeed. Take their constructive criticism in the
spirit for which they intend—your benefit.
THE "BURYING GRANDMA" EXAMPLE COLLEGE ESSAY
They covered the precious mahogany coffin with a brown amalgam of rocks, decomposed organisms,
and weeds. It was my turn to take the shovel, but I felt too ashamed to dutifully send her off when I had
not properly said goodbye. I refused to throw dirt on her. I refused to let go of my grandmother, to
accept a death I had not seen coming, to believe that an illness could not only interrupt, but steal a
beloved life.
When my parents finally revealed to me that my grandmother had been battling liver cancer, I was
twelve and I was angry--mostly with myself. They had wanted to protect me--only six years old at the
time--from the complex and morose concept of death. Volunteering at a cancer treatment center has
helped me discover my path. When I see patients trapped in not only the hospital but also a moment in
time by their diseases, I talk to them. For six hours a day, three times a week, Ivana is surrounded by IV
stands, empty walls, and busy nurses that quietly yet constantly remind her of her breast cancer. Her
face is pale and tired, yet kind--not unlike my grandmother’s. I need only to smile and say hello to see
her brighten up as life returns to her face. Upon our first meeting, she opened up about her two sons,
her hometown, and her knitting group--no mention of her disease. Without even standing up, the three
of us—Ivana, me, and my grandmother--had taken a walk together.
Cancer, as powerful and invincible as it may seem, is a mere fraction of a person’s life. It’s easy to forget
when one’s mind and body are so weak and vulnerable. I want to be there as an oncologist to remind
them to take a walk once in a while, to remember that there’s so much more to life than a disease. While
I physically treat their cancer, I want to lend patients emotional support and mental strength to escape
the interruption and continue living. Through my work, I can accept the shovel without burying my
grandmother’s memory.
Tips + Analysis:
Make (Narrative) structure work for you. This essay uses what we call Narrative Structure, which focuses
(in roughly equal word count) on a challenge + effects you’ve faced, what you did about it, and what you
learned. Quick tip: one common and easy mistake is to spend most of the essay focused on the
challenges + effects, but try to keep that to about a third—what your reader is generally more interested
in is what you did about that challenge and what you learned/how you’ve grown.
Show insight and growth. This essay does so in a few different ways. One is by recognizing that they were
wrong about something / had “done it wrong” (e.g. ...understand how I had been able to abandon my
sick grandmother in favor of playing with friends and watching TV or However, I was focused not with
learning itself, but with good grades and high test scores.). We’re pointing this out because, fairly
frequently, students are worried that acknowledging they were wrong in some way will be looked down
upon by readers. Put those worries to rest—showing that you’re capable of reflecting, acknowledging
your failings or where you were wrong, and growing through your new understanding is a sign of
maturity that colleges value.
Bring us into your world. You can do so through things like imagery (e.g., the towering trees blackened by
the forest fire a few years ago, the faintly colorful pebbles embedded in the sidewalk, and the wispy
white clouds hanging in the sky) and through illustrating (or sometimes directly naming) your values and
how your experiences have shaped them (e.g., I had to broaden my perspective of the world as well as
my responsibilities to my fellow humans). A personal statement isn’t simply a list of accomplishments
(let your Activities List and Additional Info section do that lifting for you). Instead, it’s about helping a
college understand who you are through the values, interests, insights, skills, and qualities you bring to
their campus and community.
