The Personal Development Group. The Student's Guide
The Personal Development Group. The Student's Guide
                                                                   W
                                                                              hy should counsellors and psychotherapists spend time
                                                                              and effort in looking at their own attitudes and behavi-
                                                                              ours? Their work will revolve around others, not them-
                                                                   selves, so what is the point of this self-examination? Would it not be
                                                                   better to spend the time learning more about other people, or
                                                                   developing useful skills and techniques?
                                                                      These are questions that never go away, because each new
                                                                   generation of counselling and psychotherapy trainees has to find
                                                                   their own answers. They will be given a variety of ready made
                                                                   answers from their particular brand of training, but in the end, they
                                                                   have to make up their own minds. They will have to choose where
                                                                   to position themselves on a spectrum that extends from the “white
                                                                   coat” to the “intersubjective” model. At one end, therapeutic change
                                                                   is achieved by skilled intervention from a qualified expert. At the
Copyright © 2008. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved.
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
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                                                                     2       THE PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GROUP
                                                                         Those who are open to this approach recognise the need to know
                                                                     as much as they can about themselves and how they are in rela-
                                                                     tionship with others. How to achieve this, however, may not be so
                                                                     obvious. It is possibly the most difficult aspect of training, and both
                                                                     trainees and trainers can struggle to find ways of accessing and
                                                                     promoting growth at this personal level. Creating a designated space
                                                                     in the time table and putting students together into a group with the
                                                                     task of “personally developing” may be a first step, but it certainly
                                                                     does not guarantee the desired outcome. If the group is to become
                                                                     a place in which students can genuinely learn about themselves and
                                                                     others, then more is required.
                                                                         Some of these necessary further ingredients may need to come
                                                                     from the course, such as devoting time and effort to thinking through
                                                                     coherent and transparent policies about the relationship of the group
                                                                     to the course as a whole and its role in assessment. Other vital ingre-
                                                                     dients are to be found in the group itself, in both its both members
                                                                     and facilitator.
                                                                         The role of the facilitator is complex and the manner is which it
                                                                     is performed is highly influential in the development of the group.
                                                                     It is not, however, the most significant factor in determining whether
                                                                     or not a group works well. This comes down to the mixture of group
                                                                     members, their attitudes and experiences, and their openness to
                                                                     genuine exploration. A skilful, competent, sensitive facilitator cannot
                                                                     produce a functioning group without the cooperation of the group
                                                                     members. Every group member has a shared responsibility to create
                                                                     a PD group that provides opportunities to learn and grow. This book
                                                                     has been written to encourage and help the open-minded student to
                                                                     take up that responsibility. To that end, the role of the facilitator is
Copyright © 2008. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved.
                                                                     deliberately minimised, and the focus placed upon helping the group
                                                                     members to make the best of the group experience regardless of who
                                                                     is sitting in the facilitator’s chair.
                                                                         Working hard in the PD group is never enough on its own.
                                                                     Learning to understand and think about oneself requires a great deal
                                                                     more than an hour or so a week, term time only. It involves a commit-
                                                                     ment on the part of the students to take themselves very seriously
                                                                     indeed. That does not mean some dull earnestness, but rather a lively
                                                                     questioning of what we think we know about ourselves. We have
                                                                     ideas and pictures of who we are, what we are like, how we behave
                                                                     and how we relate that will all need revising in the course of personal
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                                                               WHY “PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT”?                        3
                                                                   Theoretical models
                                                                   The PD group is found in many different places, from clinical
                                                                   psychology doctorates to counselling certificates. It is always situ-
                                                                   ated within a particular tribe of counsellors, psychotherapists,
                                                                   or psychologists who have a preferred model of how people and
                                                                   therapy work. Models include person centred, gestalt, existential, trans-
                                                                   personal, psychodynamic, humanistic, relational, systemic, cognitive-
                                                                   behavioural, cognitive analytic, to name but a few—and integrative
                                                                   of course.
                                                                      Despite this variety of contexts, every course that has a PD group
                                                                   thereby acknowledges that the “person” of the counsellor/therapist/
                                                                   psychologist is a significant factor. Whatever the differences between
Copyright © 2008. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved.
                                                                   models, the common ground lies in the belief that good practice
                                                                   requires self-understanding on the part of the practitioner. The task
                                                                   of facilitating this self-understanding unites rather than divides
                                                                   models. It is the common ground that brings together the clinical
                                                                   psychology doctorate student, the counselling certificate student, and
                                                                   all those other group members on different courses in different
                                                                   places.
                                                                      Every PD group member is faced with the challenge of learning
                                                                   to relate in a meaningful manner, to communicate at depth, to change
                                                                   and to grow, and to facilitate these processes in the client. These are
                                                                   the common experiences that transcend the tribal boundaries of
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                     4       THE PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GROUP
                                                                     particular models and which form the basis of this book. Inevitably
                                                                     there will be times when this does not satisfy the purist in any model,
                                                                     but it is an approach that can engage a broad range of students who
                                                                     want to learn more both about themselves and others.
                                                                     Why a group?
                                                                     Some students struggle not with the idea of personal development
                                                                     as such, but with the group nature of the task. “I’m a private person”,
                                                                     they say. “I could never talk openly in a group”. These individuals
                                                                     see groups as places in which they need to protect themselves rather
                                                                     than expose any vulnerability. Groups can be dangerous places
                                                                     where members are exposed to aggression, or ridicule, or humilia-
                                                                     tion. Groups can reject, punish, attack and damage. Added to this
                                                                     comes the fear that groups can change behaviour, and that people
                                                                     behave differently in groups. As a group member I may find myself
                                                                     doing and saying things that seem out of character or out of my own
                                                                     control. The image of the mindless and violent mob comes readily
                                                                     to mind, with old footage of wartime rallies or contemporary street
                                                                     violence.
                                                                        This fear of both what might be done to us and what we might
                                                                     find ourselves doing to others comes up again and again in con-
                                                                     versations about groups. Being overwhelmed both from without and
                                                                     within seems a frightening potential that group membership might
                                                                     unleash. “I’m a private person” because experience has taught me
                                                                     that other people can dismantle my sense of who I am, break through
                                                                     my protective defences and expose me to intense and disturbing
                                                                     emotions. The ultimate danger is the loss of the “self”.
Copyright © 2008. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved.
                                                                        This fear of who or what we could become lies at the heart of all
                                                                     those reasons why some people dread groups. It might not be par-
                                                                     ticularly conscious, but it plays a key role in our ideas about what
                                                                     group membership might entail and why it should be avoided. We
                                                                     have an intuitive awareness that the individual may be overwhelmed
                                                                     by the group, and for good reason.
                                                                        In our western culture, the idea of individual is given a dominant
                                                                     role. We emphasize self-awareness, self-regard, self esteem, self-
                                                                     actualising—our theoretical frameworks in counselling and psycho-
                                                                     therapy are dominated by the individual and the intra-psychic.
                                                                     There is a growing awareness that this might not be the only legiti-
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                                                               WHY “PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT”?                        5
                                                                   are all born into a group, learn who we are in the context of groups
                                                                   and live out our lives and deaths within groups. We have no exis-
                                                                   tence outside of the group—the family, the school, the club, the work-
                                                                   place, the society, the culture, the language, the beliefs. Even the most
                                                                   isolated of people are born into relationship with others, belong to
                                                                   the group “men” or “women”, live as a member of a particular
                                                                   society in a particular historical context.
                                                                      We think of the group as being made up of individuals, added
                                                                   together like so many Lego bricks. First comes the individual, then
                                                                   we add some of them together, and a group is created. In this version,
                                                                   the individual is prior to the group. But of course, when we ask where
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                     6       THE PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GROUP
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                                                               WHY “PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT”?                        7
                                                                   Communication in groups
                                                                   The members of the PD group, like those in a therapy group, have
                                                                   to learn how to communicate with each other. All of them have learnt
                                                                   how to communicate in other significant groups and can speak
                                                                   fluently in that particular language. In certain families, for example,
                                                                   when mother says “I’m perfectly fine”, everyone understands that
                                                                   the message is “I’m upset and angry because you haven’t done what
                                                                   I wanted you to do”. Or when father says “I’m busy” he means
                                                                   “Don’t tell me how things are for you because I can’t cope with how
                                                                   you feel.”
                                                                      Everyone comes into the group from a lifetime of learning about
                                                                   the different levels of communication, and how to send and receive
                                                                   signals in their own unique environment. Much of this learning is
                                                                   out of awareness, unconsciously absorbed in the process of living
                                                                   within a particular group. Trying to communicate in a group with
                                                                   those who have learnt different languages is one of the best ways to
                                                                   recognise the idiosyncrasies of one’s own way of communicating.
                                                                      It also challenges once again the idea that group members are
                                                                   separate, discrete entities that send messages to each other across
                                                                   the room. There will be moments in the group when emotions appear
                                                                   to pass mysteriously from person to person, when members find
                                                                   themselves thinking the same thoughts, or when the whole group is
Copyright © 2008. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved.
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                     8       THE PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GROUP
                                                                     of others in the same way that they model our own behaviour.3 Each
                                                                     individual is engaged in a continuous, ongoing and unconscious
                                                                     shared activity with the other. Even the idea of the individual as a
                                                                     fragment of a group now seems too boundaried and discrete. The
                                                                     more closely we look at the boundaries between each other, the more
                                                                     we become aware of the connective tissue that holds us all in place.
                                                                        Above the surface we communicate by language in all its various
                                                                     forms—conversation, lectures, songs, messages in bottles, letters,
                                                                     phone calls, emails, whereas under the surface we are in a shared
                                                                     pool of mutual mirroring, emotion and sensation. Communication
                                                                     takes place through this communal matrix of experience. Here
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                                                               WHY “PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT”?                        9
                                                                   we are able to share by being in the same ocean, rather than sending
                                                                   messages.
                                                                      In the face of these unfamiliar ways of thinking about what it is
                                                                   to be a person, it may be tempting to slide back into the usual simpli-
                                                                   fications that draw clear lines between what I feel and what you feel,
                                                                   who I am and who you are. One of the challenging features of the
                                                                   group, however, is its capacity to undermine these accepted wis-
                                                                   doms. We are who we are in relationship and can only grow and
                                                                   develop in the context of others.
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                     10        THE PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GROUP
                                                                        Growth and development on the part of the student has the same
                                                                     challenges. Trainees sometimes insist that they are doing the work
                                                                     of growth and development behind the scenes in individual therapy,
                                                                     and so do not need to participate in the PD group.
                                                                        Individual therapy can be valuable in addressing the fears of
                                                                     participating in the group and can work creatively alongside the PD
                                                                     group experience to promote change and understanding. Unfor-
                                                                     tunately, sometimes it is used to keep the group at a safe distance,
                                                                     especially when the individual therapist has unaddressed fears of
                                                                     their own around groups. Then “group” and “individual” work are
                                                                     polarised into good and bad or set in competition with each other.
                                                                     This is a lost opportunity, for the reality is that they can work very
                                                                     effectively together.
                                                                        The other reality is that any genuine and sustainable growth has
                                                                     to survive beyond the confines of a counselling room and become
                                                                     visible in the world. To achieve this, the trainee, like any future client,
                                                                     will have to renegotiate their place within their own network of
                                                                     significant relationships. Growth will demonstrate its presence in all
                                                                     sorts of visible ways, and the training course along with the PD group
                                                                     will feel the impact. The student who says “I’m doing this develop-
                                                                     ment work outside of the PD group” and shows no sign of growth
                                                                     inside the group will not convince anyone.
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                                                             WHY “PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT”?                          11
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                     12        THE PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT GROUP
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.
                                                                                                             WHY “PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT”?                          13
                                                                   Notes
                                                                   1 Foulkes, S.H. and Anthony, E.J. (1984). Group Psychotherapy: The
                                                                     Psychoanalytic Approach. London: Maresfield Library, 1984 (reprint).
                                                                   2 Meltzoff, A.N. and Moore, M.K. (1977). “Imitation of facial and manual
                                                                     gestures by human neonates”. Science, 198: 75–8.
                                                                   3 Gallese, V. “The manifold nature of interpersonal relations: the quest for
                                                                     a common mechanism”. In: C. Frith & D. Wolpert (Eds.). The Neuroscience
                                                                     of Social Interaction. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2003.
Copyright © 2008. Taylor & Francis Group. All rights reserved.
                                                Rose, Chris. The Personal Development Group : The Student's Guide, Taylor & Francis Group, 2008. ProQuest Ebook
                                                     Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/unda/detail.action?docID=689885.
                                                Created from unda on 2024-02-18 23:36:45.