The Gongfarmer’s Almanac:

A Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG Zine

Written, Illustrated, and Produced by

the DCC RPG G+ Community

RULES & CAMPAIGN MISCELLANY – PART 1

VOLUME 4 OF FIVE BOOKLETS

Printer:__________________
Copy ______ of ______
 Table of Contents
Volume 1: Men & Magic
PC Classes
Assassin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Dervish. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Gold & Glory from Beyond the Grave. . . . . . . . . . . 13
Luchador. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Martial Grandmaster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .30
Sword Monger. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Rituals & Spells
Blood Splash. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
Healing Spellburn. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .40
Sacrifice. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45
Temporary Creation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Vacuity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .53
0-Level Player Character Record Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . 58

Volume 2: Monsters, Treasure & Patrons

Monsters
Antimater Man. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Blight Serpent. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5
Ghosts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6
Grub Knight. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Snakion. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Vaechral. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Treasure
Items to Die For. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Objects of Wonder. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14
Pelagian Equipment. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
Wall of Kovacs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Patrons
Ghrelin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Great Ebon Hand (GEH) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Hecate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
The Will of Obitu-Que (The Eye of Obitu-Que). . . . . . 54
0-Level Player Character Record Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . 57

Volume 3: Adventures
Hemlock Bones Mystery Adventure #1: The Coal Snoot (level 1). 4
The Marvelous Myriad Myconid Caverns (levels 3-4). . . . . 16
May Flowers (0-Level Funnel). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32
Tomb of the Thrice-Damned War Witch (level 4). . . . . . . 42
The Worm Cult of Laserskull Mountain (scale-able). . . . . 55
2
 Volume 4: Rules & Campaign Miscellany – Part 1
Black Blood Pass - a mini-campaign setting. . . . . . . . . 4
Chirumancy - NPC Class. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19
Crawling Castle of Grumblethorn. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25
The Grove. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Killtackleball. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .39
Mighty Deeds of Arms: Spear. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
Tales of Travels, Trials & Chance Meetings. . . . . . . . .50
The Dryad’s Tree (fiction) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
0-Level Player Character Record Sheet. . . . . . . . . . . 61

Volume 5: Rules & Campaign Miscellany – Part 2

The Gongfarmer’s Almanac. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Master Zine Index. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

This product is based on the Dungeon Crawl Classics Role Playing

Game, published by Goodman Games. Dungeon Crawl Classics and DCC RPG
are trademarks of Goodman Games. All rights reserved. For additional
information, contact info@goodman-games.com.

Each article, art & associated material, belongs to their respective

artists & authors. If you would like to include, copy or use a
derivative of the work, please contact the original creator.
3
-- Black Blood Pass --
A Mini-Gazetteer
By Roy Snyder
As taken from the accounts of the privateer Luukas
the Madd; mentioning’s, notes, and words of caution
regarding the region. Documented in concurrence to
Municipal Code 7b-z.004 - Queens Brow Archival
Bureau, Cartography Division, Office of Geographic
Statistics.

Overview –

BEST KNOWN FOR THE ONLY PASSABLE TERRAIN TO CROSS

THE DIVIDE OF THE PERILOUS GROL-NAC AND NYLETAK
MOUNTAIN RANGES; LIES A 247 LEAGUE HIGHWAY THAT
TWISTS AND TURNS THROUGH WHAT AT SOME POINTS ARE 4
MILE HIGH SHEER CLIFF FACES, AND 2 HORSE WIDE GAPS.
STILL AN INVALUABLE STRATEGIC POINT OF CONTROL;
THE GREATER REGION HAS BECOME RENOWN SINCE THE
DREAD LORD, THE DEMI-LICH RJ’NIMAJNEB~YOR* TOOK
CONTROL OF THE ANCIENT FORTRESS THAT CONTROLS THE
PASS: THE FANG. NOW, FOR THE PAST SEVERAL HUNDRED
YEARS, LITTLE OF THE COLOR SPECTRUM IS SAID TO COME
TO THE REGION. FEW WITH LIFE-FORCE TAKE BREATH
WITHOUT THE PERMISSION OF THE DEMI-LICH; IN THESE
SHEER PEAKS, SYSTEM OF SHATTERED GORGES, AND THE
TWISTED CHASM GRAND ARMIES MARCH AROUND FOR WEEKS
ON END TO AVOID... A REALM OF CERTAIN DOOM.

* REF TO APPENDIX 9

5
Geographic Points of Interest –

The Fang: Originally constructed as an impenetrable

fortress to guard the pass, it was designed to house
the loyal officers to control the original pass from
above and below. Now occupied by the Demi-Lich, the
tower above hangs from the rock formations, while
the over-reaching butte keep lies below.

Once known for their devout beliefs of aid and acts

of bravery, the loyal officers rode wyverns from
dens in fortress above; and tremendous armored
steeds below. Now, hundreds remain in skeletal
unlife; still prepared to ride in command of the
Dread Lord. Over the hundreds of years this
fortress has born home to the unspeakable acts its
un-living tenant has performed; bearing the fortress
itself to transmogrify more so to resemble a massive
fang, bathed in ultraviolet energy... draining life to
fuel the focal point of the Dread Lord.

Forever Peak: The highest peak of the region, this

jutting rock towers far over the rest. For endless
generations in the past, it was sojourn to many
aspiring wizard able to gaze into the aether from it’s
formidable peak. Now adjacent to the rock formations
that form the foundation of The Fang; deep within
was the original fall back point for the loyal
officers garrisoned there. Within, the Peak is said to
house The Zeilgever, a device designed to destroy
the pass by the loyal officers if all was lost... an
unthinkable, scorched earth, last strike, in which
none survive. Hidden from the view of evil, this
rumored device is said to come from the stars
themselves.

The Monitor: 190 leagues above, this massive

clockwork platform station was placed in
geosynchronous orbit by act of ritual magicks and
precise engineering during the construction of The
Fang. Therein, the various lenses and antenna receive
instructions from the complicated enchanted
clockwork systems located in the heart of the
fortress.

6
While once a benign creation meant to alert
travelers in need and where reinforcements may be
needed; it is now a twisted system of scrying and
transport for the Greys, agent spies of the Demi-
Lich.

Markers: The original engineers of the highway

placed these megalithic league markers to assist in
travel. For every 10 leagues, lies a hostel (randomly
determined condition, roll 1d100 to determine %
grade of hospitableness). If the structure is above a
76% grade, it shelters travelers from being noticed
during the night. Hostels between 22 & 75% incur
random encounter table as listed below. Those
hostels rated 21% and worse incur a randomly
determined encounter comprising 3d14 HD total of
undead in the night if utilized. Undead tables may be
created by the judge, or chosen from the table
below.

Organizations and Personalities of Note –

Bellod: Pop 1,457: Formerly the commune village of a

lost order of monks, built into the side of the
chasm wall. Once, the village supplied all the needs
of the loyal officers garrisoned at The Fang. Known
for their skill in the crafting of blades and armor,
their presence was key. Now only the specters,
phantoms and shades of the monks remain; continuing
their trades in un-life in service to the Demi-Lich.
Occasionally, a ghostly armed caravan can be seen
delivering supplies to the thralls and allies of the
Dread Lord.

Caverns of Byek`Gtt: Pop 5,666: Stretching beneath in

incalculable directions is this troglodyte
settlement. The Byek`Gtt claim all they find in their
under-domain, and guard the under-passes from
intruders into the overland. Lead by Gomd the Black,
a ruthless despot bound in contract to the Demi-
Lich. It is said the droning chants can be heard in
all directions, as the witches of the clan
ceaselessly attempt to resurrect the living avatar
of the troglodyte god.

7
Tales of Concern –

When making the completely unadvised journey

through this horrible realm, one may expect to
encounter (Roll 1d7/5 hours of travel, if a “1”, Roll
1d16 on table below):

1. Greys: Agents of the Dread Lord lay in wait,

who have prepared an ambush to observe the
intentions of trespassers; while they stay out
of sight (DC 14 Int to spot) 2d5 hide, and
attack if approached. (Roll 1d4: 1. A doll lays
across a paralytic mine, range 30’ DC 13 Fort
save to resist 2d5 rounds of paralyzation 2. A
leper begs for help, whom explodes in a shower
blood if touched, blinding all in 30’ for 2d5
rounds 3. A shining knight pledges fealty, only
to turn on the party when guard is dropped 4.
Zombified versions of the parents of each
party member shamble forth, attempting to hug
and bite their children)

2. Magnetic Waves: For the next 2d5 leagues, rare

earth deposits make it difficult to pass.
Movement reduced by 5 times if attempting to
possess any metallic items, representing the
time taken to avail. 20% chance per hour in this
zone that a random item is permanently affixed
to chasm wall.

3. Wyverns: Striking out from their pens in The

Fang; 2d3 of the winged beasts patrol
overhead, striking spotted trespassers from
above.

8
4. Lord Olar Dougal: This 7hd champion cavalier
makes his way attempting to assist travelers
who prove worthy; by use of his ring of un-life
and phase armor.

5. Troglodyte patrol: 3d14 heavily armed

troglodytes appear from hidden caves, lead by
a clan lieutenant.

6. Radiation Zone: This 5 league zone is affected

by the monitoring station in orbit. All living
matter must make DC 14 Fort save or take 1d5
Sta damage per day remaining in zone.
7. Loyal Officers: These undead remnants of the
former cavaliers of The Fang arrest the living,
killing those who resist. Mounted upon armored
skeletal steeds, 5d7 of these 5hd skeletons
(Pg. 426 DCCRPG, +5 to all stats) don plate mail
and tattered banners from their former calling.

8. Wights: Un-holy statues rest in dozens of

alcoves along this stretch; the favorite haunt
of 2d7 Wights.

9. Lost: The party lead must make 4 successive,

successful DC 15 Int checks to navigate this seemingly
endless system of twists and turns. Each failure
costs the travelers 2 hours in illogical wrong turns
and perilously perched dead ends.

10. Illusory Oasis: DC 18 Will save to resist being

drawn into an inviting road house; where
illusions rob you of your secrets. Hourly saves
to break illusion, where a mad-house of terror
unwinds upon you.

11. Will-O-Wisps: The path ahead is blocked by 2d7

of these orbs, moving between peaks.

12. Swirling Portal: An ivory-ebon striped,

spiraling portal offers to bring the party to
The Fang to challenge the Demi-Lich. An agent
of opposition, if denied, steps forth to attack:
Qoxoq, Type IV Demon (Pg. 401 DCCRPG)

9
13. Crash site: This partially burning non-
functional metallic craft is filled with 4d5
alien ghouls (Pg. 414 DCCRPG, +1HD & +3 AC due
to alien genome/tech).

14. Ghostly Arms Shipment: Guarded by 4d7 Loyal

Officers, and lead by the phantoms and shades
bearing the pride of Bellod; this caravan
contains weapons and armor intended for The
Bone Crusher Goblins of Gorl-Nac.

15. Eerie silence: A maddening, deafening silence

exists here for 1d5 leagues. For every hour
within this zone, reduce action die by one for
2d3 hours per failure (DC 14 Fort save to resist).

16. Avalanche: reveals burial entrance in chasm

wall containing 1d5 mummies (Pg. 422 DCCRPG).
Leaving burial chamber unsanctified creates a
Stalker of the Doomed (visit
spellburn.com/dungeon-denizens for details and
statistics).

Thrall’s Curse: If a living, sentient being finds its

way out of the pass with their own breath; they take
with them the seeds of a curse. A silent knowing
choice enters the mind of the victim: Submit to will
of the Demi-Lich as an agent abroad, or resist. Those
who submit, change alignment to Chaos; and are
compelled at random choice moments to lead others
back to the pass. Those who resist must succeed in 3
successive challenges in as many days (Day 1 DC13
Will to resist, Day 2 DC14, Day 3 DC15) or
permanently lose a piece of their soul. This lost
piece becomes a new Grey within the pass, the victim
now losing all color; taking 1d3 permanent Stamina
damage. The victim always knows the location of the
Grey, and may quest to destroy it; or have the curse
removed by a Law aligned cleric of 6HD or higher. A
removed curse destroys the Grey copy in the pass.
10
Denizens of Caution –

It is rumored that the Dread Lord of the chasm has

eyes everywhere:

Grey: Init +4; Atk +6 chromatic drain; AC 13; HD 4d7;

MV fly 60’; Act 1d24; SP un-dead traits, immune to non-magical
weapons, mitosis, fade; SV Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +7; AL C.

Agents of the Demi-Lich, these un-living forms

comprise that sliver of a soul each has to give up
to be able to leave the pass un-cursed. Incorporeal,
Greys can pass through solid matter, are unharmed
by non-magical weapons and may fly. While flying,
they must be within 15’ of a solid surface. If the
monitoring station is operational, they may fade to
The Fang by use of an action die. Ever un-living they
are immune to any mental effects, cold damage,
sleep, charm, and paralysis spells.
These grey forms resemble those who have left the
realm, still breathing elsewhere. Chiefly spies, and
zealously subservient, they seek to draw the life-
force from the living if so pressed into combat.
Those unfortunate enough to be subject to it, silver
eyes flash to the face as it seeks to drain the
“color” from its victim (Will save to resist, else
loose 1d3 luck permanently for every 3 points the
saving throw was missed, rounded down: 3d3 luck if
save missed by 10).

Greys who gather 5 luck points may duplicate

themselves by mitosis as a free action, creating a
duplicate Grey at full health. If one is able to
destroy all forms resembling a survivor, that
survivor where they may exist must make a DC14 Fort
save to regain what is lost, else remain color-less
and suffer 1d3 Sta damage.

11
Appendix 9 –

the Dread Lord:

It is said that
within the inner
sanctum of this
unholy place,
Rj’Nimajneb~Yor’s
center of power
exists in its own
space-time,
accessible only
from within The
Fang. There, his
focal point of
controlling this
domain lies
within a platinum
pentagram: A
pillar of skulls
from everyone
who defied him in
the future, past
and present. The
pillar glows an
ultraviolet
light, and the
eyes of every
skull the vision
of potential
tomorrows.

Rj’Nimajneb~Yor, Demilich: Init +7; Atk Claw +8 melee

(1d8+1) and/or Nawa-ta, Soul Phylactery Medallion +12
Ranged and/or Wand of a Thousand Punishments +12
Ranged Special and/or SP; AC 15; HD 12d10; hp 108; MV
35; Act 2d24, 1d16; SP un-dead traits, spells,
animate/command un-dead, dimensional portal,
ethereal visage, control familiar; SV Fort +6, Ref +7,
Will +8; AL C.

12
Special Abilities -

Spells: Rj’Nimajneb~Yor’s repertoire of spells is

renown. The Judge can select any spell known to
exist for your encounter to a count of 21 unique
spells memorized by the Demilich that day. His spell
check is +12, and CL is 10 for purposes of
counterspell, etc. Consider him to have a pool of 35
points Spellburn, for every 5 points used, reduce his
Fort & Ref saves by 1 each.

Animate, Command Un-dead: Rj’Nimajneb~Yor can create,

command, and enslave un-dead beings at a range of
500’. With the use of his focal point, this power can
be extended elsewhere indirectly. Living creatures
that die within this range can be animated and
turned into an un-dead creature depending on its
hit dice. Creatures created may be temporary or
permanent contingent on the results. Creatures or
Sentient un-dead can be controlled, or potentially
permanently dominated. Use the turn un-dead table
and invert the results to determine the permanence
of the creation, command, or control of sentient
un-dead creatures with an action die of 1d24+12.

Dimensional Portal: Plane-walking in his mortal

living days has extended to new doors, as
Rj’Nimajneb~Yor can create a portal and step
through it to a random location within 200’. The
random location is determined on an X, Y, Z
coordinate dependent on the closest open location
with a solid floor, using 2 sets of percentile dice
per coordinate from a constant to determine
location. A DC15 on a 1d24+12 action die check can
permit him to create the portal anywhere he knows
within that distance. Fumble causes the ability to
be lost for the day, requiring 3 points Spellburn
to use again post-fumble. This ability acts as both
a Spellcasting action, and a movement action.

13
Ethereal Visage: With one action or as a reaction
when his physical form is close to death; the
Demilich may transmute himself into an Ethereal Form
for 15 rounds. While in this form, he can only be
harmed by spell damaging effects, and restrained by
clearly typed constraints effecting incorporeal
beings. While in this form, he may cast spells but at
only on a 1d16+8 action die; and cannot use objects
such as his wand. He has a fly 40’ move, can pass
through any solid and is only blocked by lead and
silver substances. This is a DC 15 ability, action die
1d24+12. For every 5 points above 15 cleared, this
ability lasts another 15 rounds (e.g. 26 Spell check
= 45 rounds). If attacked with Law based holy water
in this form, a DC20 will save is required or he
reverts to physical form.

Control Familiar: In addition to normal familiar

abilities listed per the typed spell; On a free
action, the Demilich may psychically control Rekyr
the Nahtanoj. He can control him, and utilize his
senses within 5 miles; or anywhere through his focal
point as long as he remains within the pentagram.

Nawa-ta, Soul Phylactery Medallion: Devoting two DC

15 spellchecks in one round, Rj’Nimajneb~Yor may
attempt to snatch the soul away from a sentient
being, storing it within his soul phylactery
medallion: Nawa-Ta. The effect takes place the next
round, or on the 3rd action die if available. Within
70’, a cone of thick white smoke fires from the
center of the medallion at the intended target. The
thick smoke makes limited visibility only possible to
adjacent targets within the cone effect. The target
must make two successive will saves, one at DC 12,
then one at DC 15. If you fail the first or both, you
have lost your soul. The victim’s body fails to wish
to live after 1d4 rounds unless released from Nawa-
ta. If a sentient being dies within the presence of
him, he may only need one action to attempt to
snatch the soul, requiring a DC15 spellcheck. With
each soul the medallion stores, he gains +2 to his
spellcheck, and a magical bonus to his armor class.

14
If he happens to capture the soul of a wizard, this
bonus is doubled. With a DC13 spellcheck, he can
consume all the souls in his medallion and heal to
full health.

Wand of a Thousand Punishments: This wand, crafted

by Rj’Nimajneb~Yor himself was created from the
spine of the offspring of a daemon and a unicorn –
an experiment that was disastrous, and successful in
its own right. Use of the wand requires a successful
classic intelligence check of a 5th level or higher
Wizard, or DC15 Thief “Use Scroll” to activate each
round. Failure to activate the wand renders it
inoperable for 1d9 days, and a critical fumble
destroys the wand – causing a phlogiston disturbance
(caster is forced to cast a spell vs. a spell on
chart below, Judge rolls for wand’s Spell
check+CL7+5) then explodes for 5d7 points of damage
creating a rip in space time. The wand itself has a
Spell check of 19, plus the Caster’s Level, and Int
Bonus. If the bearer has a 15 or higher Intelligence,
he can choose the spell below, otherwise roll 1d5
per use:

1. Flaming Hands
2. Magic Missile
3. Scorching Ray
4. Fireball
5. Lightning Bolt

A critical success in activating the wand bestows

un-dead henchmen permanently loyal to the bearer in
addition to the Spellcasting, Roll 1d3:

1. 1d7 Juju Zombies

2. 1d5 Ghast
3. 1d3 Wights

The un-dead are either created from nearby remains,

or are the closest convenient creature teleported
to the bearers location. They appear and act the
next round, surrounding the caster if possible, with
elite morale.

15
While the bearer has the wand in his possession, the
un-dead can be psychically commanded as a free
action. If the wand is held by another, or is more
than 5’ away from the bearer for more than 2 rounds,
roll 1d100:

1-20 The un-dead suddenly vanish, leaving

behind permanently burned shadows from
where they stood.

21-25 The un-dead are destroyed in an

explosion of positive energy. Adjacent
targets take 3d6 damage: Law characters
no damage, Neutral Half, Chaos Full; DC15
Will for half, post alignment determination.

26-37 The un-dead explode, causing 2d6 damage

to all adjacent targets. DC10 Sta check
for half.

38-40 The un-dead implode, pulling anyone

adjacent to each creature into the 9
hells. DC15 Agi check or be pulled in.

41-58 The un-dead remain, unloyal to anyone,

acting next round per Judge’s determination.

58-69 The un-dead remain, loyal to the original

bearer of the wand at time of bestowment.

70-73 The un-dead remain, loyal to whoever

bears the wand.

74-80 The un-dead remain, turned to stone.

Bearer gains corruption; roll 1d3: 1.
Minor, 2. Major, 3. Greater.

81-84 Arrival. The un-dead remain, and an angel

arrives and starts to fight the
creatures. Party must choose sides. If
the angel wins, it bestows the party
boons per Judge’s discretion. If the un-
dead win, they become loyal to the
original bearer of the wand and those

16
 present at the time of bestowment. A
Wraith appears, pledging fealty to the
champion of the un-dead.

85-90 Contest. A demon arrives and offers the

bearer 50 smoldering gold coins per
remaining un-dead. The demon is true to
his word and pays if accepted, if denied
he fights the bearer and allies for the
un-dead disappearing before the final
death blow if defeated, cursing the
party. The bearer and allies make a
mortal enemy.

91-98 If the original bearer of the wand

bestowed un-dead is still of mortal life,
he must make a DC 15 Will save or be
transmogrified into a Wraith. All objects
at time of fail turn into ethereal
variants and are subject to those
effects per Judge’s discretion.

99-100 Special, The Judge’s discretion on the event.

In the end days of the now Demilich’s research for

eternal unlife, he followed some of the research set
out in one of Sezrekan’s laboratories, deep in the
Dark Jungle of Hajzot. There as fate would have it,
he crossed paths with the king of the realm, the lion
of lions: Rekyr the Nahtanoj. On the day of his birth
of his 666th year, the king of the dark jungle may
feel it was contested who sought out whom. However,
on that day, the pair were bonded by familiar
magicks sealing the bond the lion quested for,
bonding them to his eternal master: Rj’Nimajneb~Yor.
The lion will fight to the death to defend his
master, and uses cunning and guile to defend him
using guerilla tactics if possible.

Rekyr the Nahtanoj, Corrupted Lion Familiar: Init +7;

Atk Bite +8 melee (2d5+2) and/or Claw +8 melee
(1d8+2) and/or SP; AC; HD 6d8; hp 42; MV 60; Act 2d20;
SP edritch roar, countenance of the dark jungle; SV
Fort +7, Ref +9, Will +6; AL C.

17
Special Abilities -

Eldritch Roar: This menacing, deafening roar that

discombobulates the senses in the presence of this
mighty lion. All non-allies within 100’ radius DC 15
Fort save or be subject to the intense blast of
sound. Failure results in -4 to all rolls, causing
deafness for 1d4 hours.

Countenance of the Dark Jungle: Meeting the gaze of

the dark king has always been a legend well heeded.
If Rekyr the Nahtanoj is able to lock eyes with an
opponent within 40’, he can attempt psychic
domination. The opponent must make a DC 13 Will save
or become dominated, unable to act, frozen in fear.
For every point that the victim misses his check, is
how many rounds this domination remains in effect. If
missed by more than 5 points, he can command you to
do a simple action (drop your weapon, lie down, etc).

THANKS TO

KEVIN WOJCIECHOWSKI

DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF

ERICK WUJCIK
1951 - 2008

18
 Chirumancy
By James MacGeorge

Sometimes, the Gods cannot save you.

Even Clerics, despite their best efforts, cannot always

put back what man has torn asunder. Even the best of
men can be left bleeding and dying, crying for someone
to save them. It is times like these when those who
don’t know better call upon the dark art of Chirumancy.

Damned souls all, Chirurgeons can be found haunting the

back alleys of fallen cities and tumbledown shacks in
cursed woods, offering their services for a pittance.
Their services come cheap because each patient
represents an opportunity for them to expand their
weird knowledge of life, and push the boundaries of
both the possible and ethical. Masters of the arts of
dark surgery and carcinogen injection, limb
transplants, and skinshaping, they'll put an adventurer
back together, but the cost often goes beyond the coin.
19
Their methods are terrifying - wounds sealed with
carcinomas, lost limbs replaced with the spare parts
from corpses, with no guarantee that the donor was
willing, or even human. Their patients will be healed,
but over time, they become unrecognizable.

Many realize too late that the Chirurgeon’s cure can

prove just as fatal as the wounds they heal.
When visiting a Chirurgeon, the patient will be healed
1d6 hit points for every level they possess (1d4 for
zero level characters). However, they also roll 1d3
per hit point healed on the following chart, with a +1
for every time they have previously used a Chirurgeon's
services. If the result of this second roll is equal
to or greater than double the first roll, add another
d3 to the total.

1 Chronic incontinence - in any stressful

situation, such as combat, there is a 1 in 10
chance that the character will lose control of
their bladder.

2 Persistent Cough, -1 Stamina for 1d3 weeks.

3 Persistent hoarseness, -1 to any check involving

social interaction for 1d2 weeks.

4 Fever, -1 Strength and Stamina for 1d4 days.

20
5 Jaundice, -1 to to any check involving social
interaction and -1 to Stamina for 1d3 weeks.

6 Fatigue, -2 Stamina for 2d4 days.

7 Chronic headaches -2 to Intelligence for 1d6 hours.

8 Easy bruising - the blood vessels have been damaged.

Take an extra 1d3 points of damage from blunt attacks.

9 Tooth loss - every time the character rests,

there is a 1 in 10 chance they will lose a tooth.
After 6 teeth are lost, there is a cumulative -1
penalty to social interaction checks for each
additional tooth lost.

10 Bleeding Gums - character's gums bleed

constantly, causing automatic failure of any
social interaction checks.

11 Bleeding sores - sores last for 1d4 days, and

reduce hit points by 1.

12 Cyst Outbreak - numerous cysts form, causing

permanent 1d6 loss of Personality.

13 Periodic Blindness - Any critical failure has the

added effect of blindness for 1d6 turns.

14 Vomiting Blood - Any critical failure has the added effect

of vomiting blood, loss of 1d4 Stamina for 1d6 turns.

15 Brittle Bones - any attack that hits for maximum

damage breaks a bone, causing loss of 1d4 points
of Strength and Agility.

16 Hemiparesis - In stressful situations, such as combat,

there is a 1 in 10 chance that one half of the body becomes
paralyzed - 1/2 Agility for 1d4 rounds (rounded down).

21
17 Ataxia - In stressful situations, such as combat,
there is a 1 in 10 chance that balance is severely
disrupted along with severe incoordination – 1/4
Agility for 1d4 rounds (rounded down).

18 Dementia - in any situation where a character is

required to remember something, there is a
cumulative 1 in 100 chance that the character
will not be able to recall the information.

19 Seizures - A roll of Natural 2 on any skill or

attribute roll results in seizures - immobilized
for 1d2 turns.

20 Macrocephaly - head swells with fluid -1 Agility,

Intelligence and social interaction checks.

21 Squamous cell carcinoma - skin becomes red, scaly

and inflexible: -1 Agility, -3 to social
interaction checks.

22 Bone tumor - lose 1d3 points per month from

Strength, see Tumor Chart below.

23 Lung Tumor - lose 1d3 points per month from

Stamina, see Tumor Chart below.

24 Brain Tumor - lose 1d3 points per month from each

attribute, see Tumor Chart below.

25 Tumor Outbreak - 1d3 tumors, see Tumor Chart below.

26 Roll 1d4 on random body part chart.

27 Roll 1d6 on random body part chart.

28 Roll 1d8 on random body part chart.

29 Roll 1d10 on random body part chart.

22
30+ Roll 2d6 on random body part chart, major
infection - 1/2 Strength and Stamina permanently.

Random Body Part Replacement Chart:

1 Human Arm.

2 Human Leg.

3 Human Arm, wrong side (2nd left arm, etc) -1

Agility.

4 Dwarven Arm - +1 Strength, -1 Agility (if

character is a dwarf, it is replaced with a human
arm -1 Strength).

5 Dwarven Leg -2 Agility (if the character is a

human, it is replaced with a human leg - same
result).

6 Lizardman Arm -1 Personality, +1 Agility.

7 Lizardman Leg -1 Agility, + 1 Strength.

8 Insectoid Limb - roll 1d4, that limb is replaced,

+ 1 Agility, -4 Personality.

9 Antennae replace eyes -4 Personality, + 1 Agility

10 Tail, -2 Agility for 1d6 weeks, then +1 Agility

thereafter.

11 Transplant rejection - 1 randomly determined limb

is gone, permanently.

23
12 Brain transplant, character is now 1 Human 2. Elf
3 Dwarf 4 Lizardman 5 Insectoid 6 Brain Damage -
reroll, Intelligence reduced by half. Reroll all
stats except Intelligence using 3d5 instead of
3d6. Other than that, this change is cosmetic in
nature, and does not affect any racial attributes
the character possessed before the transplant.

Tumor Chart - for each tumor received, there is a

cumulative chance of death, resolved once per
game session. Roll for each tumor upon discovery
to determine its size:

1 T1 - 1% chance of death per session;

2 T2 - 2% chance of death per session;
3 T3 - 3% chance of death per session;
4 T4 - 4% chance of death per session;

At the end of each session, total up the percentages

for all tumors, and roll percentile dice to see
if the tumor is ultimately fatal.

24
 The Crawling Castle of Grumblethorn
and Other Architectural Horrors
By Tim Callahan

Perhaps the manor house is under attack by deranged

beasts, or maybe the tower is haunted by the ghosts of
extradimensional wizards, or the dungeon – surely the
dungeon – is riddled with speaking bones and troubled
oozes. But when you’re pulling together your Dungeon
Crawl Classics campaign or improvising your one-shot,
sometimes you need more than those traditional
locations to terrorize the PCs. Sometimes you need a
Crawling Castle of Grumblethorn. Or a Defiling Dome of
Blacksmere. Or a Weeping Hut of Hexageddon. As you see
fit.

Judges who throw caution (and funky dice) to the wind

will want to roll randomly for each column of Table
TCCoG-AH to discover what unique architectural horror
emerges from the landscape just over the next ridge.
Other Judges may want to craft their own structures out
of the options below. Depending on how evocative the
result, additional development may or may not be
needed. Some Judges will, of course, want to map
everything out. Others may want to let the structure
emerge more organically from play. Whatever the result,
you may warn your players: this ain’t the borderlands,
and that’s no humble keep. They won’t heed your
warnings anyway.
 Table TCCoG-AH
Roll 1d7 on each column

What? What? Where? What’s one Unusual Thing What’s another Unusual
about It? Thing about It?

1 Crawling Castle of Occasionally this structure The third room the PCs enter
Grumblethorn transforms, the main doorway turns is covered with magical
into a mouth, its front-facing writings, all across the
windows turn into eyes, and the walls, floor, and ceiling. If
structure transforms into a massive read magic is cast, the
giant covered with architectural spellcaster can use the
detail and thirsts for the blood of writings in the room as if it
wizards. It smells them from miles were a scroll with 1d3 random
away and strides toward the largest level 1 wizard spells, 1d3
spellcasting contingent in the random level 2 wizard spells,
area. Due to the magical gyroscopic and 1 random level 3 wizard
nature of its interior, no one spell. The spells can only be
inside any of its rooms can feel cast from inside the room. Any
the movement of the structure. Note attempt to copy the spells
that there is a 20% chance the into a spellbook (or the
structure will transform in this equivalent) will result in the
way before the PCs approach, and a spell being cast against the
50% chance if the PCs are inside. scribing spellcaster in any
Increase this number by 10% for way the Judge deems
each wizard or cleric (or appropriate, with the Judge
equivalent spellcaster) in the rolling as if with a +8 spell
party. check.
 Table TCCoG-AH (con’t)
Roll 1d7 on each column

What? What? Where? What’s one Unusual Thing about What’s another
It? Unusual Thing about
It?
2 Growing Keep of The ancient magicks that crafted this On the wall opposite the
Slitherstone structure imbued it with a demonic defense entryway, a large oval frame
system, with sigils in the walls that act as hangs, covered by a ratty
demon spawning portals. Each room entered blanket. If the blanket is
has a 25% chance of containing one of these removed, a bloodshot eyeball
portals, regardless of whatever else is in begins to protrude from the
the room. If a portal is present, 2d5 oval frame, and anyone looking
glimmering spider demons (that appear toward it must make a DC 16
encrusted with gemstones) emerge at the Will save or become affected
start of every turn that a living presence in one of the following ways
is detected in the room. (determined randomly via a d4
roll for each victim): (1)
Gemstone Spider Demon: Init +2; Atk bite +2 paralyzed for 2d8 turns, (2)
(1d5 plus special) or webspinning +1 permanently turned into an
(special); AC 13; HD 3d8; MV 30’; Act d20; ivory statue, (3) permanently
SP bite attack drains an additional 1d5 HP shrunk to 50% of normal size
and 1d5 Strength points from victim unless a (all equipment included), and
DC 10 Fort save is made, webspinning attack all physical attributes
turns the victim into a marionette under the reduced by half – rounded down
control of the demon unless a Will save vs. – as well, (4) rainbow-hued
the attack roll is made; SV Fort +4, Ref +1, bat-wings emerge from the
Will -1; AL L. Note: the “gemstones” of the character’s back, offering no
spider demon skin turn to dust if they are flying ability but permanently
taken out of the structure, and the spider increasing Will saves by +2
demons die instantly if transported outside and permanently decreasing AC
of the structure. by -2.
 Table TCCoG-AH (con’t)
Roll 1d7 on each column

What? What? Where? What’s one Unusual What’s another Unusual Thing
Thing about It? about It?

3 Defiling Tower of Hexageddon When the first PC in a party The first time a character touches an
makes contact with the interior wall (while searching for
exterior of the structure or secret doors, or traps, or otherwise)
enters through any open a loose stone block or wood panel
portal, the sentient falls away, revealing a 2’ tall red-
structure immediately and-orange-striped coral imp, curled
contacts that PC – and only into a fetal position. The imp is
that PC – to ask for extremely lazy and narcissistic but
assistance. The structure will become the loyal guardian
feasts on necrotic energy familiar of any PC who shows any
and if a dozen undead are kindness towards it. It will attack
“fed” into its open door, any PC or creature who attempts to
the PC will be rewarded with harm it, or its master.
a boon with a cost: whenever
the PC touches a magical Coral Imp: Init +2 (or as master);
item, it will double in Atk claws +1 (1d6); AC 12; HD 2d6; HP
power, but the item can 11; MV 40’; Act d20; SV Fort -1, Ref
never leave the PCs hand +2, Will -1; AL C. Note: any “master”
again unless the magic in it adopts gains 11 HP when it becomes
the item is dispelled. a familiar, but if the imp dies, the
master loses 22 HP.
 Table TCCoG-AH (con’t)
Roll 1d7 on each column

What? What? Where? What’s one Unusual Thing What’s another Unusual
about It? Thing about It?

4 Tunneling Hut of This structure is a construct of Azi Vines dotted with blue-green
Crystalgrim Dahaka, mimicking the divine being’s barbed leaves cover the interior
presence on the material plane. In walls of this structure. Some
addition to whatever features the rooms near the entrances and exits
structure has, the power of Azi Dahaka appear overgrown, while the vine
manifests in this way: in each room the density is less intense in rooms
PCs enter, the structure attacks the deeper inside the structure. The
PCs with the next successive invoke vines are illusory, remnants of
patron result from the Azi Dahaka enchantments that act as a kind of
listing on page 330 of the DCC Core nervous system for this structure.
Rulebook. Thus, the first room that’s Incidental contact with the vines
entered would attack the PCs with the will yield no effect, but if any
12-13 result, and the next room would character intentionally interacts
attack with the 14-17 result, etc. The with the vines by touch (even if
“caster” is the structure itself, and wearing gloves) the character will
the Judge makes all decisions about take 1d8 damage and gain a Greater
targets, etc. The structure’s Corruption: Roll 1d10 on the
motivation is to repel intruders, and Greater Corruption Table on page
if any characters survive past the 32+ 119 of the DCC Core Rulebook . In
room result on the invoke patron table, addition, the contact with its
the PC with the highest combined enchanted nervous system will
Intelligence + current Hit Points gains cause the structure to shake
Patron Bond (and Invoke Patron) with violently, and anyone standing
Azi Dahaka, even if the PC is not a must make a DC 10 Reflex save to
spellcaster. avoid falling to the ground.
 Table TCCoG-AH (con’t)
Roll 1d7 on each column

What? What? Where? What’s one Unusual Thing What’s another Unusual Thing
about It? about It?

5 Hovering Pyramid of This structure was built with Inside the “belly” of the structure
Penitence corrupted divine magic, and the hangs a rusted metal cage. Inside the
souls of great warriors of the cage rests a unicorn. A beautiful
past enchant the beams and white unicorn with a sparkling golden
stones that hold up the walls. horn. The tears of the unicorn drip
The souls cannot communicate, like tiny rainbows onto the cold stone
but any warrior or dwarf (or floor below its cage. If set free (DC
fighting-type class) will feel 20 lockpicking check or 12 or more
immediately energized as they damage to the lock with a single
walk inside. They immediately blow), the unicorn will attack the
gain one additional level character who freed it with unyielding
(increase their XP to the ferocity. Then it will attempt to flee
minimum to reach the next to return to its beloved queen and
level), but at a cost. For every attack anyone that stands in its way.
turn they spend inside the
structure, they must make a Will Savage Unicorn: Init +5; Atk horn +5
save vs. DC 10 or lose 1d16 HP. (2d12 plus curse of lost love); AC 14;
If they reach 0 HP within this HD 6d8; HP 32; MV 60’; Act d20; SP
structure, there is no chance Curse of Lost Love – page 438 in the
for magical healing or rolling DCC Core Rulebook – imparts any
the body after that. Instead, surviving victim of a horn attack with
their souls merge with those of a compulsion to return the unicorn,
the great warriors of the past, living or dead, to the queen of the
trapped in these very walls. adjacent kingdom; SV Fort +4, Ref
+3,Will +3; AL C.
 Table TCCoG-AH (con’t)
Roll 1d7 on each column

What? What? Where? What’s one Unusual Thing What’s another Unusual
about It? Thing about It?

6 Weeping Barracks of There are only three exterior Each room of the structure seems
Tomesworthy doors on this structure. Three to act as a conduit to the spirit
entrances. When any PC or realm, where previously slain
creature enters through one of enemies of the PCs can
the doors, he immediately communicate, one-per-room. This
teleports out of the exterior manifests as statements that echo
door to his left. The only way to through the room – statements
enter the structure is for two that reveal information the slain
living things to enter at least enemies may have had that the PCs
two doors simultaneously. The did not or perhaps statements of
teleporting enchantment will how the enemies met their demise.
continue to work as normal, and The spirit channel is one-way
may only be bypassed by two or only, with the PCs able to hear
more entrances activating the ramblings of their enemies,
simultaneously. The effect also but they cannot ask questions
works when attempting to leave that will be answered, except by
the structure, teleporting any coincidence. For the first
characters back inside the statement that the PCs hear in a
entrance to his left unless two room, a DC 5 Will save is
or more exits are activated required or the PC take 1d6
simultaneously. psychic damage.
 Table TCCoG-AH (con’t)
Roll 1d7 on each column

What? What? Where? What’s one Unusual Thing What’s another Unusual
about It? Thing about It?

7 Screaming Dome of In the center of the interior of The materials of this

Blacksmere the structure, in whatever the structure flake away like
Judge deems the “heart” of the chunks of fist-sized dandruff
construction, a mosaic decorates – it may be bits of wood, or
the floor. The mosaic depicts an brick, or stone or whatever
enormous gaping, sharp-toothed seems appropriate for its
mouth. Any character standing in construction – and anyone who
the center of the mosaic can takes a bite of one of the
mentally transform the shape of chunks gains 1d8 additional HP
the exterior structure into any for the rest of the day. A
form he wishes by making a DC 10 second bite of one of the
Will save. Failure on the Will chunks that day causes
save results in the character terrible vomiting without any
gaining 1d4 Minor Corruption HP gain and unless a DC 15
effects and permanently losing 1d6 Fort save is made, the
Stamina points. character loses 2d10 HP.
 The Grove
By Gabriel Meister and Jonathan Perkel

The dim light up ahead barely filters through the thick

forest growth, but it’s better than nothing, so you
hack away at the last of the stubborn branches and
choking vines. You emerge into a roughly circular
clearing, wiping the sweat and grime from your face,
and you think to yourself: can this be real?
The clearing is approximately 100 feet in diameter,
felted with manicured grass. At its center is a small
cluster of what appear to be fruit-bearing trees.
Sunlight beams down and birds chirp softly as a gentle
breeze rustles through the clearing. This seems
strange, as you could have sworn it was pissing rain
just a moment ago. Suddenly, you feel very, very
hungry, and you walk toward…The Grove.

Care for a piece of strange fruit? (Roll 1d24)

Roll Result
1 Snake-eyes. This tree bears firm, cuboidal,
ivory-colored fruit, with one black dot in the
center of each side. There are 3d6 fruit on
any given tree. When picked, the picker
painfully loses one point of Strength,
Agility, Stamina, Personality, or Intelligence
(roll 1d5 to determine). If the picker eats
the fruit, he falls into a deep slumber for
1d5 turns and regains the lost point upon
awakening. If someone else eats the picked
fruit, he (instead of the picker) gains the
point that the picker lost. No more than 3
total ability score points can be gained (or
regained) by any individual, regardless of the
number of fruits picked or eaten.
2 Acmefruit. A spherical, jet black fruit about
the size of a volleyball, with a long white
stem. Each fruit has runes on its side that
dimly glow “TNT” in white letters. When dried,
the stem can be lit and the fruit tossed at a target,
causing damage equal to that of a fireball (3d6). If
the lit fruit isn’t tossed within 1 round...
3 Metsus. Mirrored spherical “seeds,” roughly 1
inch in diameter, with a fragile shell. Each
sphere is filled with a sticky, powdery pollen
that clings to flesh and causes 1 hit point of
damage per round until washed off with water.
Useful as projectile weapons if kept intact.

34
4 Durians. A spiky, incredibly tough outer
shell protects a creamy flesh that tastes as
close to putrescent human flesh as imaginable.
Ah, durians… revolting, but harmless.
5 Tastyfruit. The fruit on each of these trees
is different: a peach here, a plum there, a
pomegranate, an orange, a pineapple, a kiwi,
etc. Every fruit tastes twice as good as the
last one consumed. Each piece restores 1d3 hit
points, up to a maximum of 5 restored hit
points. Any roll that would restore 6 or more
cumulative hit points causes a debilitating
bout of diarrhea that lasts for 1d6 turns.
6 Stickyplums. Round, indigo-colored fruit that
fits nicely in the palm of the picker’s hand…
and does not come off. At least, not without a
successful DC 15 Strength check (although now
it’s probably stuck to the other hand, or the
hand of a would-be rescuer). While the fruit
is in hand, the picker cannot do anything else
with said hand.
7 Fortunefruit. Each fruit resembles a flat,
folded beige seed pouch that can be cracked
open by hand. Inside is a tiny folded
parchment with a prescient message for the
character on the front and a string of two-
digit numbers on the back. The message on the
front has a 50% chance of accurately
predicting something important that will
happen to the character within the next 24
hours.
8 Cherries. Ruby red, juicy, delicious. Why are
they here? Who cares?
9 Ropefruit. Yellow, spherical fruit that, upon
close inspection, appears to be a tightly-
wound ball of thick, golden thread. Once
picked, the fruit can be unraveled by its stem
into a slender 50’ cord with twice the tensile
strength of normal rope.

35
 10 Dragonfruit. With its funky skin of prickly
vermillion dragon scales, this mildly sweet
fruit bears a creamy pulp peppered with
crunchy, sesame-sized black seeds and with a
strong cinnamon aftertaste. Tasting the flesh
enables the picker to breathe flame at an
opponent as if casting Scorching Ray with a
spell check of 16. If the picker does not
breathe flame within 1d3 rounds after tasting this
fruit, the flame manifests internally (and gouts
from all upper orifices) for 1d8 damage.
11 Critterberries. Small, lumpy, brownish-green
berries with fur reminiscent of kiwifruit.
Each one feels a little bit squirmy. Trying to
bite into one causes it to transform (with an
audible “pop!”) into one of five miniscule
mammals. Roll 1d5: 1, pygmy possum; 2, shrew
mole; 3, tiny jerboa; 4, Etruscan shrew; 5,
bumblebee bat. They make great pets (or rations).
12 Grapefruit. Just regular ol’ ruby red grapefruit.
13 Chameleonges. These fruit are the same size,
weight, texture, and flavor as ordinary juice
oranges, but each one is a different color
than all the others, seeds, skin, and all.
Consuming a chameleonge changes the color of
certain body parts to the fruit’s color for
1d4 days. Roll 1d12: 1-2, hair, fingernails,
and toenails; 3, irises; 4-5, hands and feet;
6-8, face, neck, and scalp; 9-10, genitals;
11-12, buttocks. Where face, neck, and scalp,
genitals, or buttocks are affected, the char-
acter loses 1 point of Personality but gains 1
point of Luck for the duration of the change.
14 Edisons. Tough, transparent, nearly colorless
globes with black squiggles threaded
throughout. Inedible; biting into one is like
munching on a beholder’s eyeball. When
darkness falls, each fruit glows with a
ghostly, white light that illuminates

36
 everything faintly within a 5’ radius. The
effect lasts until the fruit begins to spoil,
about 2 or 3 days.
15 Burnies. Elongated, fleshy fruit with a tough
purple rind similar to miniature eggplants.
Sweet but intolerably spicy, reminiscent of
the hottest ghost pepper. Good in very small
doses for seasoning stew, or dried and ground
into powder. Otherwise innocuous.
16 Raspberries. The only strange thing about
these raspberries is that they are the size of
apples.
17 Galarums. Red, bell-shaped fruit with white
streaks. Touching a single fruit causes it to
ring like a dinner bell. Touching two of them
induces a clamorous chain reaction: they both
ring, then another, and another, until every
fruit on the tree is clanging cacophonously.
Each character in the Grove must make a DC 12
Fort save or suffer disorientation and severe
tinnitus (ringing in the ears), and lose 1
point of Agility, for 1d8 turns. This noise
may also attract unwanted attention...
18 Tomatoes. Ripe and tasty. (For the record,
tomatoes are a fruit.)
19 Pusberries. Small clusters of cherry-sized
yellow berries, firm to the touch, that smell
as sweet as spun sugar but taste like a soiled
bandage from inside a costermonger’s boot.
After one bite, the picker is unable to
consume or even smell food for 24 hours
without vomiting (consequent risk of
dehydration), and is no longer a big fan of
fruit in general.
20 Pears. Just regular pears.

37
 21 Fruitloops. Firm, doughnut-shaped fruit with
waxy blue skin and flesh the texture and color
of bananas. Incredibly nourishing and
restorative; however, there is absolutely no
way to leave the Grove with this fruit. Any of
it. Including if it’s still in the character’s
digestive tract.
22 Cronenberries. Each branch of these trees is
covered with tough thorns and ends in peach-
colored globules, hanging loosely. The
globules smell like recently soured milk.
Tugging one causes the tree to rustle and
sigh. Trying to pluck one elicits a piercing
shriek, as the tree swats at the character
with two enormous thorny branches for 1d4
damage. The “fruit” cannot be removed from the
tree without a fight.
23 Fapples. The fruit of this tree has the
appearance of delicious, ripe, red apples.
Upon closer examination, the “fruit” is made
of the same tough bark that covers the tree’s
trunk, with deceptively misleading
pigmentation. Inedible.
24 Necktarings. Looks and tastes like
nectarines, but when one of these fruits is
picked, somewhere, somehow, someone’s neck is
broken. This fact remains unknown to the
picker until later that night, when the
gruesome image of each death he caused haunts
him vividly in his dreams.

38
 Killtackleball
DCC Rules for Pell-Mell Teamball Sports
By Marc Bruner

Each year on the high desert plains of Urearth, the

Centaurs pause in their ever-war with the savage
Vulturemen and meet at the sacred oasis to sing of
their victories, mourn their lost companions, and clash
in the ancient game of “Bolo”. This is the origin of
Killtackleball, a sport of prowess, determination, and
luck, often with dangerous results.

39
Overview
Killtackleball is a bruising game of physical mayhem
played between two teams that usually ends with drunken
song and bitter toasts made over the corpses of slain
friends. The rules are simple: two sides face off on a
wide, flat pitch - typically composed of grass, rocks,
trees, creeks, or giant mushroom forests - and attempt
to move the ball to the opposite end of the field and
score. Score is kept by whatever method is agreed upon,
but is abstracted in these rules and represented by the
current momentum die controlled by each team. The
momentum die is a new tool inspired by the core
rulebook spellduel rules using the dice chain to track
the relative strength of each team, and ultimately
deciding the winner.

The match is played in a series of turns, the start of

each turn being marked by a scrum for initial control
of the ball. During play, opposing teams use whatever
they can to carry, kick, or punch the ball across their
opponent's goal line, thereby winning the turn and
resetting the field. Play continues until one team has
dominated the game and claims victory!

Rules of Play
 Play starts with the ball placed in the middle of
the pitch with opposing teams lined up on either
side. The ball can be any agreed upon generally
easily carried object. Traditional balls include:
inflated animal bladders, coconut husks, and the
dried and cured head of a Vultureman - beak optional.

 Teams can be composed of any number of players,

evenly matched or otherwise, and they can use any
part of their bodies to move the ball. Weapons
are not allowed; however, each team rolls on the
random equipment table to see what gear they
managed to scrounge up after a night of
preparatory carousing.

40
 Each team is given a momentum die to determine
possession after the scrum. The default starting
die is a d20.

 At the start of the scrum, each team rolls the

momentum die and compares the results on the
scrum table. It is the Judge’s discretion on who
makes the rolls for the team. The roll is for
initial possession only, after the scrum, the
ball will likely change hands multiple times
during the course of the turn!

 Play during the turn proceeds with initiative

rolls and follow normal DCC combat rules. Players
can take actions, cast spells, declare mighty
deeds, etc., to do whatever it takes to move, or
block movement of the ball to the other side of
the field. Special note: obvious spellcasting and
outright killing of other players is generally
frowned upon, and may turn players from both
teams against the offending player if discovered.
Ghostly possession is, of course, allowed.

 The turn ends once the ball has crossed a goal

line in the possession of a player from the
opposing team. The scoring team automatically
moves their momentum die one die up the dice
chain for the next turn, whereas the losing side
has to make a Will SV (DC decided by the Judge
based on the results of the play) to avoid moving
down one die. For example, after the first turn,
the winning team will have a d24 momentum die for
the next scrum, whereas the losing team will
either retain the d20 or move down to a d16,
depending on whether they made their save.

41
  The game ends when the difference in the rolled
momentum die result is so large that one team
dominates the other completely, as indicated on
the scrum table result. Alternatively, other
methods can be used at the Judge’s discretion,
e.g. assigning and keeping track of an actual
score, a time limit, when the ball is removed
from play by ferrets, etc.

Random Equipment Table

Each side should roll a d30 for starting equipment and
reference the table below. If desired, each individual
player can be rolled for, though this is only
recommended for smaller teams. Players are free to get
creative with the actual use of the equipment during
play, with the Judge making the final ruling on the
result in game-play terms:

d30 Equipment d30 Equipment

1 A leg of cooked meat 16 Fly-whisks
(as club)
2 Zorro-style masks 17 Buckets
3 Hockey sticks 18 Nothing - team
always goes “skins”
4 Flags 19 Chalk
5 Sacks 20 Small tube of
vultureman-grease
paint
6 Conch 21 Treasure map with
an “X” on the
opponent’s goal line
7 Small pouch of sand 22 Painted gourd filled
with olive oil
8 Brooms 23 1 lb cheese
9 Necklaces made of 24 Leather shoes
shells w/nails driven
through the soles
10 A sheaf of poems 25 Bottle of fireflies
11 Small hand mirror 26 Flasks of dyed

42
 sugar-water
12 Centaurs 27 Reliquary filled
with bones
13 Klezmer instruments 28 Slightly deflated
ball
14 Cheering squad 29 Picnic lunch
15 Shuttlecock 30 Roll on the table
twice, taking both
results

Scrum Table
At the start of each turn, teams roll the momentum die
and the Judge references the table below, comparing the
result of the higher roll to the lower roll. The
difference between the results determines which row of
results applies to each team, the team with the higher
roll using the second column and the team with the
lower roll using the last column.
 A result of “1” on the momentum die is an
automatic fumble. In addition to the result on
the scrum table, the team’s momentum die is
reduced by one on the dice chain with no save.

 A result of “20” on the momentum die is a

critical hit. In addition to the result on the
scrum table, the team automatically wins
initiative during the subsequent turn. This
also applies to achieving the maximum result
on dice higher on the dice chain, i.e. a “24”
on a d24 and a “30” on a d30. There are no
critical results for momentum die lower than
d20.

43
 Diff. Team with High Roll Team with Low Roll

44
Tie No team can wrest control of the ball out of No team can wrest control of the ball out of the
the tangled heaving mass. Roll on the Face- tangled heaving mass. Roll on the Face-off table
off table below. below.

<5 Straining for control of the ball, your team The ball was inches away, but snatched up by the
manages to grab it off the ground before the other team before you could secure it! Start the
other team can reach it. Start the turn with turn with the other team in possession of the
possession; roll initiative as normal. ball; roll initiative as normal.

<10 A strong performance! Start with possession; Start the turn with the other team in possession
+2 to your player’s initiative rolls for of the ball; roll initiative as normal.
this turn.

<15 Your team manages to get the upper hand on The other team is clearly playing dirty with some
the other team and easily seizes the ball. below the belt kicks. Next time you see a referee…
Start with possession; +4 to your player’s Start the turn with the other team in possession
initiative rolls for this turn. of the ball; roll initiative as normal; each
player makes a DC10 Ref SV or takes 1d3 bruising
damage.

<20 With a huge surge, your team easily pushes So tired, so, so tired. maybe you’ll just rest on
the other team back, trampling on the this nice spot of soft grass here for a bit. Start
unlucky ones who couldn’t get out of the the turn with the other team in possession of the
way. Start with possession; +4 to your ball; roll initiative as normal; each player makes
player’s initiative rolls for this turn. a DC10 Fort SV or is knocked unconscious for this
turn

20+ The team dominates the scrum utterly and They won this match, but by the gods there will be
completely, winning the ball and brushing others. Buy the first round of drinks, grab a
aside their panting, exhausted opponents to dripping slice of roasted Vultureman, and plot
claim a final goal! Game ends. your revenge...
Face-off Table
If the scrum results in a Face-off, roll d11 and
reference the table below.

d11 What happens?

1 Play is interrupted by a piercing cry as 2d4
Vulturemen swoop in to attack!
2 A champion stands forth from one side and bellows
out a challenge to the other team to single
combat.
3 A pair of ferrets sneaks out of the scrum
attempting to steal the ball.
4 Blood frenzy. The game is forgotten by hot-
tempered players who immediately attack the
nearest opponent. DC 12 Will SV to resist.
5 With a sudden “POP!” a Type III demon appears out
of thin air wearing a striped uniform and
carrying a whistle.
6 Another team shows up and charges into the match.
Roll again for a three-way scrum (one high and
two low results).
7 The ground opens up and swallows the ball,
revealing a network of subterranean caverns below
the pitch.
8 Opposing gods have taken an interest in the
result, and secretly possess a player from each
side.
9 A line of small forest animals stare unnervingly
from the sidelines, each gripping a small
sharpened stick.
10 A nude dwarf with an ankle-length beard
interrupts play by running out onto the pitch.
11 As the teams heave and push to wrest control, the
ball cracks open, revealing a small fuzzy
dinosaur.

45
Vulturemen: Init +2; Atk claw +3 melee (1d6) or beak
+1 melee (1d4) or grab +0 melee (see below); AC 12; HD
1d8; MV 20’ or fly 40’; Act 1d20; SP grab (with a
successful grapple, carry off opponent, has to be
smaller than human-sized; up to three vultureman can
attempt to grab the same opponent to carry off larger
creatures - up to horse-sized); SV Fort +0, Ref +2,Will
+1; AL N.

Acknowledgements
 Tim Callahan, for coming up with the
Killtackleball name suggestion.
 The Metal Gods, for coming up with a die (d11)
so awesome, it needed to be included somehow.

46
 Mighty Deeds of Arms - Spear
By R.S. Tilton

(An excerpt from the upcoming Clearspring Gazette by

R.S. Tilton)

Mighty Deeds of Arms: The Spear (melee)

In combat, the spear is a versatile weapon, able to
perform in many surprising ways, in addition to being
able to impale a target. When using a spear, a
character that hasn’t declared a Deed may automatically
roll on the spear table.

Die Roll Result

3 The spear’s length plays a role in keeping
the opponent at a distance. He receives a
+1 bonus to AC for the next round.
4 The spear impales the target in a non-vital
organ; this causes exceptional pain and
will cause an additional 1d3 damage when
the weapon is removed. While the weapon is
impaling the target, they suffer a -1d
penalty to attack the spear holder, and a
-2d penalty to attack his allies.
5 The spear impales the target in a vital
organ, causing exceptional pain and will
cause an additional 1d6 damage when the
weapon is removed. While the weapon is
impaling the target. they suffer a -1d
penalty to attack the spear holder; and a
-2d penalty to attack others.
6 The spear is used in a flurry of rapid
strikes, driving the target back 10 feet,
and causing 2d4 additional damage.
7 The spear impales the target’s head or
chest, causing 2d10 additional damage as
well as double the penalties from result
#5. The spear is lodged deeply in the
target and takes 1d4 rounds to remove.

47
Mighty Deeds of Arms: The Spear (thrown)

When thrown, the spear can cause heavy damage as it

comes down from the heavens gaining speed and momentum.

Die Roll Result

3 The spear hits with a metal rending power;
armor and shields lose 1 point of protection
(-1 AC) from the damage caused.
4 The spear pins the target in place as it
impales a leg or foot to the earth.
5 The spear drives through the target’s torso
pinning it to the ground, nearby structure or
tree, causing an additional 1d6 damage.
6 The spear drives through the target and
strikes another behind it. This causes normal
damage to both targets and an additional 1d6
damage to the initial target.
7 As above however the targets are pinned to
each other, and both take the additional 1d6
damage.

48
Mighty Deeds of Arms: The Harpoon

The harpoon comes with 50 feet of light but durable

rope. The weapon features a wickedly barbed spearhead,
allowing the weapon to sink into the target and to pull
them toward the thrower. Typically used in hunting
whales, the harpoon is attached to a longboat via a
stout metal ring at the butt end of the spear.

Die Roll Result

3 The harpoon hits, but the barb tears out
of the wound, leaving the target bleeding.
Lose 1 additional hit point for 1d4
rounds.
4 The harpoon impales the target, causing an
additional 1d4 points of damage when
reeled in. The target may attempt to tear
free with an opposed STR test.
5 The harpoon impales the target, causing an
additional 1d4 points of damage when
reeled in. The target may attempt to tear
free with an opposed STR test at -1d.
6 The harpoon impales the target lodging in
a bone, causing an additional 1d6 points
of damage when reeled in and knocking the
target to the ground. The target may
attempt to tear free with an opposed STR
test at -2d.
7 The harpoon impales the target lodging in
a bone, causing an additional 1d6 points
of damage when reeled in and knocking the
target to the ground. The target may
attempt to tear free with an opposed STR
test at -3d.

(These tables have not been extensively playtested and

feedback would be great. Contact me at epicrpgblog@gmail.com
with comments and suggestions.)
49
 Tales of Travels, Trials, & Chance Meetings
These tales operate as a storytelling interlude in between adventures. The purpose
is to inject some additional flavor for each character with some direction by both
the player and the Judge. The Judge should have their players roll on the Chance
Meetings table and then on the Travels & Trials table. The players will need to
weave a story using elements from both of their results. The Judge should inter-
rupt the tale to provide one boon and one detriment that fits into the story the
player is telling. There are no limits to where the story goes or what form a boon or
detriment takes, though a Judge should take care to limit the power of these things
and dial back any features that could derail future storylines.
Step 1. Each player rolls on the Chance Meetings table
1 Wizard afflicted with terrible 16 Metal statue that moves and
corruption speaks as a human and claims to
2 Halfling merchant with an be from the stars
interesting offer 17 Wizard who is constantly out of
3 Constable of lazy demeanor but focus for all who gaze upon him
high born connections 18 Thief who will only talk to
4 Elven sailor with a nearly puppets
mutinous crew 19 Giant that ceaselessly weeps and is
5 Ogre of unusually high consoled only by your voice
intelligence and benevolent nature 20. Fortune teller who divines from
6 Child possessed by a demon severed heads
7 Cleric who has fallen and is
searching for a new faith
8 Dwarf minstrel possessing a
mystical third eye
9 Warrior who will not die though
covered in wounds that will not
heal
10 Dog that communicates with its
voice in your head
11 Bartender who is a long-dead
walking skeleton performing his
job for eternity
12 Halfling alchemist who always
lacks the proper ingredient to
finish his mix
13 Elf whose feet never touch the
ground
14 Blacksmith who fashions
replacement body parts
15 Someone who is reportedly
present at the scene of every major
calamity in the realm
Step 2. Each player rolls on the Travels & Trials table
1 Round trip passage on a ship that 12 Descend into the hollowed out
sails to a forgotten land trunk of a giant tree that grew into
2 Journey to your home village the earth instead of above it
3 Unwarranted banishment from a 13 Fall into a cavernous wasp hive
region in which you travel and then brought to the queen
4 Long period of sensory depriva- 14 Take up residence in a tomb to
tion in a deep dark cave convince people that it’s haunted
5 Rise to the highest ranks of the 15 Hide a dangerous artifact that
gladiator class cannot be destroyed
6 Stumble upon an unfamiliar race 16 Find your way out of a loop in
in a barren landscape time that has you live the same
7 Deep study of the fringe practices day over and over
of your art 17 Get rid of the ghost of one of your
8 Hired to find a very important slain opponents that is haunting
missing person you
9 Sleep so deep you travel across 18 Rejoin your other self after being
dimensional planes split into multiple existences
10 Assist farmers in a region where 19 Return to your body after being
sentient plants make seasonal trapped in an animal form
harvests deadly 20 Banish a being made of pure light
11 Become first mate on a ship that
sails off the edge of the horizon
and into the stars

Step 3. The player weaves a story using the results of the

previous rolls
The players should take time to figure out a way to combine these elements into
a story that fits the personality and actions of their character. No rolls need to be
made during this process and the Judge is allowed to negate any aspect of the nar-
rative that could upset the power balance or derail the campaign. Set a reasonable
time limit and each player takes turns putting their character through a story of
their creation.
Step 4. The Judge provides a boon and a detriment based
on the story being told
A boon might be an item they receive, an ally, or a skill that they pick up and can
call upon any time it’s appropriate in the future. A detriment might be a curse, an
enemy, or a bad reputation that follows them.
A Judge should throw boons and detriments in as they appear in the story as an
interruption or complication for the player to work out in their narrative. Boons
and detriments can also be revealed at the end of the story or even saved for a
surprise in their next adventure. .

DCC house rules by Kane Cathain | illustration by Carly Onofrio

 The Dryad's Tree

In which the Cautious Marauders seek

to fulfill the commandments of
The Portal Under the Stars

By Mike Loew

In the shadows of the ancient trees, the band

ranked up in precise martial formation: warriors Old
Huffy and Lars in the first rank; clerics Rabelais and
Porkins in the second, centered to support all those
who would believe in them; and finally fragile Tyson
and Donal at the rear, giving full range to their
hostile elven magic. Halfling Drek hid behind the
warriors, the counterpuncher, while thieving Cheeem
skulked far behind, the backstabber. They advanced
through the moonlit forest.
At the tip of the spear, their runty guide
Queebo flitted through the foliage. The branches grew
lower as the path narrowed, and the spear struggled to
keep its edge. The band straggled after their gnoblin
trailblazer into a tight labyrinth of turns, through a
dizzying bend, and then…
They broke free from the thickets into the
moonshade of a most colossal oak, soaring high above
all others in its own vast glade. The dark vault of its
foliage filled the night sky. At its mighty base the
tree radiated six great roots that arched overhead like
the buttresses of a cathedral, then descended into the
earth. Each root-bridge was at least a hundred feet
long and thick enough for two men to walk abreast.
Queebo and his burglars crept to a gnarled fence
of living wood that encircled the majestic tree. The
tendrils of the fence had grown into ornamental shapes
and were festooned with floral bouquets. They crouched
for cover behind the dainty perimeter.
Lars the woodcutter clicked his tongue. "Those
old roots are slick with moss and hard as stone.
There's no wood to be taken from them that would burn,"
he whispered.
 "If you wish to steal kindling from the Dryad's
tree, you must hurry up a root, then climb the trunk.
There drier branches grow plentifully twenty feet up,"
said Queebo. He tugged a finely-crafted archery glove
onto his hand, emblazoned with golden thread, and
gripped his shortbow. "I hope you have a plan,"
grumbled the yellow-skinned forest-stalker.
"Time to get high," said Lars, producing a plump
shrooman steak from his sack. "Anybody else?"
"I am with you, generous lumberman!” exclaimed
Rabelais Rotundus. “My only regret is that I have no
wine to share, as I have quaffed it all in my
devotions.” Lars passed his portly comrade a
shroomsteak. The warrior of the woods and the cleric of
Borrach wolfed down the rubbery, fungoid flesh.
"Hm, not getting anything yet," Rabelais
muttered. Lars didn't hear him, as he was fascinated by
a similar sensation of the infinite calm he had felt
after inhaling the shrooman’s spore-mist. However, this
time his ribs were not being crushed. It felt amazing.
Lars took one more mental step beyond his sea of
calm into an infinite field of living information. He
had reached the peak of shrooman evolution. The
crystalline lattice of geometric gemstones that
underlay the universe unfurled before his eyes as his
highest self was revealed!
"Bah," snorted Cheeem at the grinning woodcutter
and Rabelais, sucking disconsolately at his teeth.
"While you degenerates stuff your swollen cheeks, eet
eez Cheeem who will gain our prize!" he boasted.
The jester removed his black silk pajamas, folded
them neatly, and hung them on the decorative fence. He
smeared mud over his pale, nude body, then attached
clumps of moss to his head and nethers. Two bent twigs
he tucked behind his ears, protruding like horns
through his moss-wig. Cheeem hunched his back and
contorted his knees repulsively, and his satyr's
disguise was complete.
"Watch and learn, baboons! Ha-HA." Strange, bold
Cheeem hopped the fence and snuck through the shadows,
simultaneously mimicking the crook-legged gait of a
satyr with startling verisimilitude.
"This is not maintaining proper formation!"
hissed Queebo.
Cheeem's comrades held their breath as the thief
silently pranced from shadow to shadow, slowly making
his way up a gnarled root. All was quiet but for a
gentle song in the air—a pretty melody by a feminine
voice that seemed to trill from the tree itself.
Watching and waiting with the others, Rabelais felt a
tingle in his toes.

Cheeem's satyrical charade through the shadows

carried him all the way up the root and to the trunk,
only a short climb to their goal. Nothing moved but for
the masquerading Cheeem. The thin-armed thief began to
climb the mighty oak… but crashed down in a tumble,
unable to pull himself up.
Rabelais felt his toe-tingle growing into warmth,
a red glow rising through his feet and up his calves.
The disembodied voice still sang her lullaby. Cheeem
attempted to climb the trunk once more, placing his
hands more carefully… but lost his grip and fell again,
smashing down in a tangle of disappointment!
Now the warmth climbed from Rabelais' calves into
his thighs, and from there into the fundament of his
spine, where a spiral energy began to generate.
Weakling Cheeem once more struggled to climb the trunk,
scrabbling at its knobby handholds… but tumbled down a
third time, a portrait of abject failure!
"Enough!" roared Rabelais. The burgeoning cleric
in his burgundy toga stood tall. The shrooman flesh had
finally metabolized in Rabelais' capacious gut,
unleashing the courage of generations of rogues. The
ecstatic madness of Borrach coursed through his veins.
Rabelais sprang over the fence, spine a-spiral, both
arms held aloft. "I wait for no man! Borrach has set me
free!"
To the horror of all present, especially Cheeem,
Rabelais stomped forward to explode the mantle of
silence, bellowing praise to his drunken god. Drek dove
at his knees to stop him, but was rebuffed. Porkins
lunged at his waist, but was shaken off with a spin.
Old Huffy tried to tackle Rabelais, but was rudely
stiff-armed away. The cleric of Borrach could not be
stopped! With his comrades sprawled behind him in the
leaves, Rabelais trundled up a root-bridge, oblivious
to Cheeem's frantic pantomimes for him to retreat.
"GO BACK," mouthed Cheeem in a silent howl. The
lilting song stopped in mid-melody, then warped into a
piercing shriek. The Dryad emerged from her elder oak,
her sapling limbs ripping free from the bark. The pale
green body of the sylvan guardian stretched forth,
eight feet long, her sinewy musculature barbed with
thorns. She writhed in fury high above them, black eyes
slitted with hate for the men gripping swords and axes.
Cheeem, a muddy, mossy, near-naked wretch,
cowered at the base of her tree. Rabelais galumphed up
a root-bridge, ululating in ecstasy. Behind him, Lars
leapt onto the same root, his great axe glittering on
his back. The Dryad's semi-human face twisted in
contempt. Then she saw Queebo, attempting to hide
behind the fence.

"Queeeeeeee-bo!" Her voice creaked with rage from

her wooden lungs. "Foul, hunchbacked, dismal-dreaming
bandit! You will… not steal… from me… again!" The Dryad
threw forth her claw-branched hands. A cloud of buzzing
pixies with dragonfly wings flew out from the soft glow
behind her tree, drawing back tiny needles on miniature
bows.
From the root-bridge, Lars tossed a chunk of
shrooman down to Porkins. “Munch that!” barked Lars at
his sober comrade. Brimming with psychedelic vitality,
Lars zoomed up the root with startling speed, running
right past Rabelais. The Dryad twisted her hands into
an eldritch gesture. A whip of wood curled down from
the branches and lashed at Lars, but the sharp tendril
glanced off the woodcutter's armored chest. Laughing
with manic glee, Lars hurled his hand-axe at a floating
pixie, obliterating it.
 Under his vow of humility to obey any command,
Porkins dutifully chewed the shroomsteak that Lars had
tossed him. However, he did not experience the ecstasy
of Lars and Rabelais. His mind grew dark and cloudy,
and his focus shifted downward. The uplifting earth
magic of the shroomen could not break Porkins'
meditations on the abyssal horror of his sunken god.
Lars dipped and dodged through the Dryad's
slashing branches. More pixie archers emerged. Cringing
Cheeem tried to secrete himself into a fold in the
trunk, but the hovering pixies saw all. They peppered
his muddy skin with white needles, and Cheeem collapsed
into slumber.

Back by the dainty fence, Tyson Ballywicke

attempted several spells to aid his comrades, but
failed utterly at each one. Wobbling under the weight
of his own inadequacy, the milquetoast house-elf felt
his strength leave him. A thunderclap resounded inside
Tyson's flap-ears, and the dark countenance of his
master Sezrekan filled his inner vision.
 "Atrocious technique! It is time to prove your
questionable worth to me, chandler!” scowled the Old
Master. "Retrieve my lost relic, the other half of the
Rulership Rod! Reunite it, and offer it up to my
glory!” Sezrekan set Tyson's mind ablaze with a view of
a crumbling castle atop a burning sea, where lay the
occult object of his desire.
The Dryad wove her bristling hands, bewitching
more branches to flay the marauders. Unperturbed,
Rabelais pulled out his shortbow, licked an arrow for
luck, and fired. With shocking accuracy, the shaft
pierced both of the Dryad's hands in mid-conjuration!
She screeched in pain and vexation. With her palms
pinned together by the iron-tipped arrow, the Dryad
could no longer weave arcane gestures, crippling the
use of her branch-mastery.
Slow and quiet, Drek the halfling had snuck up
along a back root. There he found a bulbous, glowing
hive growing from the rear of the trunk. Its papery
shell split open, spilling more light, and a pixie
emerged through the glistening aperture. It pulled
itself free with tiny arms, thrummed its wings, then
broke off a curved, vestigial bone from its coccyx. The
pixie strung a tendon on its bone-bow and buzzed at
Drek, producing a needle from its quivered forearms.
Drek stomped through a spritz of bony needles,
prickling his leathery face and arms. Their soporific
effect had flattened syphilitic Cheeem, but the pixie
venom was easily absorbed by the hardy vagrant. With
great stamina and without mercy, Drek gashed open the
bulging hive with his twin short swords. Larval pixies
tumbled out, their insectoid wings coated with amniotic
sap.
Lars reached the trunk, stepped over sleeping
Cheeem, and shroomanically climbed toward their
precious wood. He clambered into the lowest branches
and began to snap them off. Fuming above him, the
desperate root-witch tried to charm his mind. The Dryad
sang her enchantments, hoping to seduce the dynamic
woodcutter against his allies, but could not find a
grip on Lars' roiling brain. The mind of Rabelais was
equally on fire, and she found no love in the heart of
Drek.
Watching from afar with eagle eyes, Old Huffy
coolly raised his longbow. A moonbeam glimmered off his
arrowhead. He shot the Dryad through the neck, stifling
her song. She looked down coldly, her hands clasped
together by Rabelais’ arrow, as if in prayer. Her
slender green body tumbled to the forest floor, silent
forevermore.
Lars looked down upon the fallen nymph. For a
wide-eyed moment that pierced the frenzy of his
intoxication, he felt pity, and shame, and that a great
mistake had been made. Then he was enthralled by the
sight of thousands of leaves falling all around him
like a rain of green teardrops.
Through the whispering downfall Lars slid down
the trunk, clutching an armful of the Dryad's wood. He
could almost feel the bark trembling with misery.
Behind the fence, Donal Frolanger sent in a conjured
hawk to steal a few twigs of his own, after all of that
trouble. "That's so Donal," thought Tyson.
The grieving boughs overhead swayed and shook,
shedding masses of foliage. Drek slapped Cheeem awake.
The creaking wood and rustling leaves melded into a
thunderous voice that spoke from all around them.
"YOU. KILLED. MY. BRIDE."
The gargantuan tree awoke. Dozens of knotty
eyeballs blinked open across its crusty bark. A jagged
black hole spread across its trunk like a mournful
mouth, exhaling a bitter stench of anguish. Its titanic
roots quivered, one ripping free from the sod.
Lars, Rabelais, and Cheeem fled for their lives
down another root, stomping upon furious wooden eyes.
Queebo burst up from behind the ornamental fence, where
the rest of the band hunched in dread.
"Jump the fence! Escape the bounding circle!"
hollered Queebo.
The wood-burglars vaulted over the fence, kicking
aside its bouquets, now blackened and withered. Only
halfling Drek lagged behind, half-numb from pixie
venom, pumping his stumpy legs as fast as he could.
 “Haul your hindquarters, halfling!” shouted
Rabelais.
Drek leapt off the root-bridge and rolled across
the leaves. The moonlight faded swiftly around him.
Drek looked up—the freed root descended like a gigantic
clawed foot, drowning him in its swiftly growing
shadow.
Drek scuttled to the fence, coiled his thick
legs, and leapt with all his might. It wasn't enough.
There was no way he could have cleared the fence—if
Lars hadn't tossed his stolen wood into Porkins' arms,
drawn his battleaxe, and chopped through the fence at
waist-height, a moment before Drek sailed over his
hacking steel and through the splintered gap.
The huge foot of the arboreal giant slammed down
just behind the charmed halfling, dealing massive
damage to naught but an unlucky anthill. Bursting with
avaricious joy, the band of thieves scattered into the
night.
An excerpt from a novel in progress,
"The Cautious Marauders."
0-Level Character Sheet – Created by Billy Longino
0-Level Character Sheet – Created by Billy Longino
0-Level Character Sheet – Created by Billy Longino
 Credits
Contributing Authors – VOLUME 4
Marc Bruner Tim Callahan, Kane Cathain,
Billy Longino, Mike Lowe, James MacGeorge,
Gabriel Meister, Jonathan Perkel, Roy Snyder,
R.S. Tilton

Editors
Marc Bruner, Chris Fassano, Paul Go,
Jon Hershberger, Gilbert Isla, Edgar Johnson,
Justin Kowalski, Paul LoCasto, David Pier, Tim Snider,
Noah Stevens, Harley Stroh, Doyle Wayne Ramos-Tavener,
Kyle Turner, Dak Ultimak, Laura Rose Williams,
Paul Wolfe, Christopher Wood

Proofreaders
Daniel J. Bishop, Jen Brinkman, Marc Bruner,
Reece Carter, Scott Dexter, Eric Hoffman,
Aielo Jimenez, Aaron Koelman, Paul LoCasto,
Jim Skach, Tim Snider, Nita Snyder, Kyle Turner,
Dak Ultimak, David VC, Matthias Weeks,
Christopher Wood

Editorial Staff
Paul Go, Tim Snider, Paul Wolfe

Cover Illustrator – VOLUME 4

Doug Kovacs

Title Page Illustrator – VOLUME 4

Marc Radle

Contributing Illustrators – VOLUME 4

Doug Kovacs, Mike Loew, William McAusland,
Sean Poppe, Aileen Snyder, Carla Stroh, Mario Torres

Creative Vision & Direction, Layout and Graphic Design

Doug Kovacs, Harley Stroh,
Doyle Wayne Ramos-Tavener, and Jon Hershberger