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CHAPTER 3

Self-Motivation

3.1 Overcome fear of failure

You might experience some or all of these symptoms if you have a fear of failure:
A reluctance to try new things or get involved in challenging projects.
 Self-sabotage – for example, procrastination, excessive anxiety , or a failure to
follow through with goals.
 Low self-esteem or self-confidence – commonly using negative statements
such as "I'll never be good enough to get that promotion," or "I'm not smart
enough to get on that team."
 Perfectionism – A willingness to try only those things that you know you'll finish
perfectly and successfully.

How Not to Be Afraid of Failure

It's important to realize that in everything we do, there's always a chance that we'll fail.
Facing that chance, and embracing it, is not only courageous – it also gives us a fuller,
more rewarding life.
However, here are a few ways to reduce the fear of failing:
 Analyze all potential outcomes – Many people experience fear of failure
because they fear the unknown. Remove that fear by considering all of the
potential outcomes of your decision.
 Learn to think more positively – Positive thinking is an incredibly powerful way
to build self-confidence and neutralize self-sabotage.
 Look at the worse-case scenario – In some cases, the worst case scenario
may be genuinely disastrous, and it may be perfectly rational to fear failure. In
other cases, however, this worst case may actually not be that bad, and
recognizing this can help.
 Have a contingency plan – If you're afraid of failing at something, having a
"Plan B" in place can help you feel more confident about moving forward.

How to Stop Living in Fear

If you are afraid of failure, you might be uncomfortable setting goals . But goals help us
define where we want to go in life. Without goals, we have no sure destination.
Many experts recommend visualization as a powerful tool for goal setting. Imagining
how life will be after you've reached your goal is a great motivator to keep you moving
forward.
However, visualization might produce the opposite results in people who have a fear of
failure. Research shows that people who have a fear of failure were often left in a
strong negative mood after being asked to visualize goals and goal attainment.

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So, what can you do instead?
Start by setting a few small goals . These should be goals that are slightly, but not
overwhelmingly, challenging. Think of these goals as "early wins" that are designed to
help boost your confidence.

3.2 Maintaining self-discipline

Self-discipline is more specifically about your ability to control your desires and impulses
in an attempt to stay focused (for long enough) on what needs to get done to
successfully achieve that goal.

Six Steps to Developing Your Self-Discipline

Step 1: Define What You Want

The first step of this process involves getting very clear about what it is you want to
achieve.
Self-discipline can only endure if it’s channeled toward something specific. In this
instance, let’s direct it toward the desired outcome you have in mind.
This outcome might be a goal you want to achieve, a habit you might like to develop or
any other type of change you might like to make.

Step 2: Describe the Changes Required

Now that you have some clarity about what it is you want, it’s time to describe what kind
of habits and behaviors will help you attain this desired outcome. In other words, what
kind of person might you need to become to achieve your goal?
Every goal we set brings with it a precise set of behaviors and habits that are
intrinsically intertwined with the goal we want to achieve.
Gaining some clarity in this area will help you figure out what it will take to achieve your
desired outcome.The behaviors you cultivate and the habits you adopt must reflect
your core values. That’s, essentially, the only way to ensure that you’ll stick to your
goal over the long-run.
Secondly, the journey toward goal achievement almost always changes people in
unexpected ways.
As we pursue a goal, we learn and grow along this journey. This, subsequently, helps
transform how we see ourselves, how we see others, and how we interact with the world
around us.

Step 3: Find Adequate Role Models

It’s time now to look outward for answers to help strengthen your self-discipline.
Specifically, let’s identify role models (friends, family, colleagues) who have already
achieved the goal you are working towards.

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Step 4: Identify Reasons and Obstacles

You should by now have an obvious idea of what it will take to achieve your desired
outcome. With clarity, of course, comes more certainly. And with more certainty, it
becomes easier to muster up the self-discipline needed to get the job done.
However, as with all journeys, you will inevitably confront numerous
challenges, adversity, and obstacles that will test your discipline and resolve.

Step 5: Develop Your Plan of Action

It’s time now to build a practical plan of action to help you accomplish your goal.
An effective plan of action is comprised of a deadline for accomplishing your
goal. It must also be built on the foundation of mini-milestones that break your
goal down into manageable chunks.
Mini-milestones will ensure that you’re working toward your desired outcome in small
pieces and time blocks. This tactic puts you in the driver’s seat. It gives you a sense of
control over the tasks and projects you’re working on.
What you’re ultimately trying to avoid is succumbing to overwhelm. Overwhelm can
quickly digress to procrastination, and procrastination can, subsequently, lead
to stagnation. And, of course, where there is stagnation, self-discipline cannot exist.
Given this, it’s, therefore, paramount that you take progressive steps towards your goal
to maintain control at all times.

Having a clear deadline in place is also essential. A clear deadline will help you
discipline yourself as it focuses your mind on a specific end date for the accomplishment
of your goal. With an end-date in mind, all your resources and energy are channeled
appropriately to help you maintain the necessary momentum you need to follow through
with your actions. Moreover, a deadline provides you with a sense of urgency, which
will help keep you focused and disciplined on the tasks at hand.

Step 6: Make Yourself Accountable

The final step of this process comes down to accountability.
You must not only hold yourself accountable for your daily choices and
decisions, but you must also have someone else hold you responsible for your
actions and results.
You could, for instance, build a support team that helps you stay focused and on track.
Heading this support team could be your personal accountability partner (a close friend
or family member) who regularly checks in on you to see how things are going.
Having another voice encouraging and motivating you will help you to persist and
persevere for longer.

3.3 Maintaining perseverance

Perseverance is a steady persistence in a course of tasks or action in spite of
difficulties, obstacles or discouragement from one or more people.

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Tips in Maintaining Perseverance

1. Work hard.
Slick online marketers want you to believe that you can get rich quick with your online
business as long as you buy their program and follow their directions. This is simply not
true. You must put in the hours. You must work hard. It takes 10,000 hours of practice to
become an expert. My question to you is, “How hard are you willing to work?"

2. Quiet the voice of resistance.

The voice in your head wants you to stay safe and sound in a comfort zone. It’s the
voice that says: "I can’t. It won’t work. That’s a dumb idea. You’re not smart enough.
You’re not worthy." Talk back to the voice. Prove it wrong.

3. Take action.
If you want to be a painter, paint. If you want to be a writer, write. If you want to be a
doctor, go to med school. You must do what you say you’re going to do. Taking action
wipes out fear. It works. Act deliberately.

4. Maintain enthusiasm.
Keep your spirits high. Know your “big why.” Why do you want what you want? Do you
want to find a cure for cancer? Do you want fame? Do you want to increase your
income? Create visual reminders of your “big why." Place them where you’ll see them
every day. Be inspired by your future.

5. Be creative.
Don’t imitate others. Go where others have never been. Take a risk. Do the unthinkable.
Go places you haven’t been before. See things you haven’t seen before. Introduce
yourself to people who have what you want.

6. Act like a grown up.

Take responsibility. Let go of blame and excuses. Don’t whine and complain. Be willing
to do what it takes. Go the extra mile. Do it with a smile on your face.

7. Do one more thing.

In spite of how you feel, make one more phone call, write one more page, create one
more video. When you want to quit, set your timer for 15 more minutes.

8. Let go.
What bad habit holds you back? Where do you waste time? Where do you lose ground?
Turn off your TV, games and porn. Stop drinking, drugging and procrastinating. Let go of
bitterness, resentment and anger. Get help if you have to. Put your new found energy
into your dream.

9. Prepare.
Begin your day with quiet time, meditation or journaling. This will give you clarity.
Choose three of your most important tasks. This is your to-do list. Don’t check email or
surf the net. Don’t allow for interruptions. Be 100% focused on your work.
10. Create a support network.

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Find people who are doing what you want to do and befriend them. Get a mentor. Hang
out with positive people. Build a community. Become a giver and a go-to person.

11. Take care of yourself.

Keep up your energy. Eat healthy and exercise. Take scheduled breaks. Always make
room for fun and play. Don’t dwell on your mistakes. Spend time with your family and
friends.

3.4 Self and Islamic/moral perspective

The Johari window model is used to enhance the individual’s perception on

others. This model is based on two ideas- trust can be acquired by revealing
information about you to others and learning yourselves from their feedbacks.
Each person is represented by the Johari model through four quadrants or
window pane. Each four window panes signifies personal information, feelings,
motivation and whether that information is known or unknown to oneself or
others in four viewpoints.

The Johari Window Model

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The method of conveying and accepting feedback is interpreted in this model. A
Johari is represented as a common window with four panes. Two of these panes
represent self and the other two represent the part unknown to self but to others.
The information transfers from one pane to the other as the result of mutual trust
which can be achieved through socializing and the feedback got from other
members of the group.

 Open/self-area or arena – Here the information about the person his attitudes,
behaviour, emotions, feelings, skills and views will be known by the person as
well as by others. This is mainly the area where all the communications occur
and the larger the arena becomes the more effectual and dynamic the
relationship will be. ‘Feedback solicitation’ is a process which occurs by
understanding and listening to the feedback from another person. Through this
way the open area can be increased horizontally decreasing the blind spot. The
size of the arena can also be increased downwards and thus by reducing the
hidden and unknown areas through revealing one’s feelings to other person.

 Blind self or blind spot – Information about yourselves that others know in a
group but you will be unaware of it. Others may interpret yourselves differently
than you expect. The blind spot is reduced for an efficient communication
through seeking feedback from others.

 Hidden area or façade – Information that is known to you but will be kept
unknown from others. This can be any personal information which you feel
reluctant to reveal. This includes feelings, past experiences, fears, secrets etc.
we keep some of our feelings and information as private as it affects the
relationships and thus the hidden area must be reduced by moving the
information to the open areas.

 Unknown area – The Information which are unaware to yourselves as well as

others. This includes the information, feelings, capabilities, talents etc. This can
be due to traumatic past experiences or events which can be unknown for a
lifetime. The person will be unaware till he discovers his hidden qualities and
capabilities or through observation of others. Open communication is also an
effective way to decrease the unknown area and thus to communicate
effectively.

Johari Window is a simple and useful tool for understanding and training:
 self-awareness
 personal development
 improving communications
 interpersonal relationships
 group dynamics
 team development; and
 inter group relationships

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It is one of the few tools out there that has an emphasis on “soft skills” such as
behaviour, empathy, co-operation, inter group development and interpersonal
development. It’s a great model to use because of its simplicity and also because it can
be applied in a variety of situations and environments.

Islamic Perspective

In Islam, the correlation between Religious Deeds and Social Deeds cannot be denied.
As a Homo Social, to live together in a society must have a high value. To achieve that
value, Islam put an importance in the concept and the serious implementation of Amar
Ma’ruf Nahi Munkar, or commanding the good and forbidding the evil. Although the
concept sounds like a persuasion, but substantively it means imperative and must be
implemented, because there are rewards and recompense from God for doing or not
doing it.

As a verb, Ma’ruf means to ‘know’, ‘to concern’, and ‘to see sharply the difference’; as a
noun, it means ‘something to know, or to be known’, and also means ‘reasonably proper’
or ‘sufficient or naturally enough’ (Rahardjo, 2002). Al Qurthubi equalized it to the meaning
of Urf, Ma’ruf, and Arafah, which means ‘as habitual’, or ‘any behavior that can be logically
accepted’, and ‘to make one’s soul at peace’. In Arwah’s opinion, it means ‘generosity’, or
‘philanthropy’; and in general means ‘any good act’ (Sahabudin et al, 2007).

The word of Amar Ma’ruf, in Surah Al Baqarah (Al Qur’an 2: 262, 263, 264) is related to
‘gift in the name of Allah, or similar to ‘charity’ (Al Qur’an 2: 264). The person who does
the giving may not show it off to others or humiliate the one who receives it (Al Qur’an 2:
262), but must use decent words (Al Qur’an 2: 263: 264). To give in the way of showing it
off to others is the opposite of Amar Ma’ruf (Rahardjo, 2002). In this case, God says that
the reward thereof supposed to be given disappear traceless (Al Qur’an 2: 264). On the
contrary, Allah says that if wealth is spent in the search of Allah’s blessings, the reward
provided is just like a farm on a height that will produce harvest as twice as many, although
it is only watered by a drizzling rain (Al Qur’an 2: 265).

Ma’ruf serves as a part of Islamic law with the function to improve morality through
strengthening piety or God consciousness. In term of revelation, Ma’ruf means God’s
order; and in terms of logics, it means to evaluate what is good, and respect the right of
others. Obviously, the word Ma’ruf applies in the context of human interactions within both
family and society (Sahabudin, et al, 2007). The opposite of the word ‘Ma’ruf’ is Munkar,
It means whatever is being hated, not pleased with, not proper, or not reasonable, as a
result people reject it; or something not decently done by a logical person (Hamka, 2000).
The word Munkar also means a wrong action, challenging to what is considered good by
a society and the religious teaching (Rahardjo, 2002).

A call to do the good and to forbid the evil is basically what Dakwah is all about. If it is
generally done, according to Hamka (2000), then the society is considered healthy, as
their religious consciousness becomes high, and the relationship among members in the
society is glorious. If a majority calls for the good, and forbid or prevents the evil, the

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societal value then becomes high. However, if what happens is to the contrary, that is
when the call for Amar Ma’ruf Nahi Munkar stops and the Munkar is more than the Ma’ruf,
that means the society is in a sick condition (Hamka, 2000).

Reference

1. https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/fear-of-failure.htm
2. https://blog.iqmatrix.com/self-discipline
3. http://blog.readytomanage.com/is-perseverance-the-key-to-leadership-success/
4. https://www.communicationtheory.org/the-johari-window-model/
5. https://www.ijhssnet.com/journals/Vol_7_No_3_March_2017/8.pdf

DR SHAZLEEN MOHAMED | COM571