THE JOURNAL

OF BIBLICAL
COUNSELING
FEATURED ARTICLES
A “Moderate” Makeover
David Powlison
Are You Feeling Inadequate? A Letter to
Biblical Counselors
Edward T. Welch
How Does Scripture Teach Us to Redeem Psychology?
David Powlison
Counselors as Missionaries
Sam R. Williams
When God Touches the Untouchables
Edward T. Welch
From Your Heart…Forgive
Aaron Sironi
COUNSELOR’S TOOLBOX
How Do You Counsel Non-Christians?
J. Alasdair Groves
Feeling Lost in the Middle of Your Life
Paul David Tripp
LIVES IN PROCESS
BOOK REVIEWS

VOLUME 26 | NUMBER 3
The mission of the Journal of Biblical Counseling (JBC) is to develop clear thinking and effective
practice in biblical counseling. We seek to do this through publishing articles that faithfully bring the
God of truth, mercy and power to the issues that face pastoral ministries of counseling and discipleship.

Publisher
The Journal of Biblical Counseling
(ISSN: 1063-2166) is published by:
Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation
1803 East Willow Grove Avenue
Glenside, PA 19038
Website: www.ccef.org

The Journal of Biblical Counseling was published as a print journal

from 1993-2007 (Issues: 11:2–25:3). From 1977-1992, it was
published as The Journal of Pastoral Practice (Issues: 1:1–11:1).

Editorial Staff
Senior Editor: David Powlison
Managing Editor: Kimberly Monroe
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Proofreader: Bruce E. Eaton

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Copyright © 2012 Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation

Cover Illustration by Jeff McRobbie

The Journal of Biblical Counseling is a publication of the Christian Counseling and

Educational Foundation (CCEF). All rights reserved. All content is protected by
copyright and may not be reproduced without written permission from CCEF.
THE JOURNAL
OF BIBLICAL
COUNSELING
I N T H I S I S S U E
FEATURED ARTICLES
2 A “Moderate” Makeover
David Powlison
6 Are You Feeling Inadequate? A Letter to Biblical Counselors
Edward T. Welch
18 How Does Scripture Teach Us to Redeem Psychology?
David Powlison
28 Counselors as Missionaries
Sam R. Williams
41 When God Touches the Untouchables
Edward T. Welch
46 From Your Heart…Forgive
Aaron Sironi
COUNSELOR’S TOOLBOX
62 How Do You Counsel Non-Christians?
J. Alasdair Groves
70 Feeling Lost in the Middle of Your Life
Paul David Tripp
LIVES IN PROCESS
74 My Fashion Fixation and an Unlikely Encounter with God
Jamie L. Rose
78 Parenting for God’s Kingdom, Not My Own
Rebecca DeAnne Eaton
BOOK REVIEWS
82 Free Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with
Worry) by Lenore Skenazy
Myriam Hertzog
87 Crazy Like Us: The Globalization of the American Psyche by Ethan Watters
Edward T. Welch

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 1

F ro m th e Ed it o r ’s D esk

A “Moderate” Makeover

by David Powlison

I find myself weary of dramatic hyperbole the long haul. Good for times when your feelings
in descriptions of the ideal Christian life. are marked with pain or loneliness. Good for days
Extreme! Radical! Passionate! Awesome! Edgy! or months or years of perplexity and struggle.
On fire! Dramatic! Good for the small deaths of old age and then for
I can understand the emotional appeal of such dying. Good for helping others going through the
hyperbole. After all, who wants to live half-baked, same troubles. Good for Job, good for David, good
mediocre, listless, dull, bland, and boring?! But the for Jesus, good for an innumerable company of
opposite of listless is not necessarily all fired up. those who endure purposefully and fruitfully. He
Our faith contains a wonderfully curious surprise. is forming what is good for living life well, wisely,
For starters, I don’t think many of us are and on purpose. Good for sustainability. We long
capable of sustaining the adrenaline level. If you for dramatic action: “Deliver Israel, O God, from
did manage to sustain your passion for a week, all their troubles” (Ps 25:22). But right now we
a year, a decade, it bears pondering whether the need the good graces to carry us through all that
wider culture’s obsession with extreme adventure happens until the Day when dramatic finally
and radically awesome hyperbole might have happens once and for all.
infiltrated your operating system with a virus. If the Consider a baker’s dozen of graces that are set
passion ebbs, is what really matters lost and gone? on fire with the odd fire of God’s purposes. Ponder
Or does it mean that it’s time to grow up? each one for a moment.
Consider the graces that God steadily works Mercy
to produce in us. They are certainly different Patience
from what we naturally gravitate to. In that Gratitude
sense, his purposes are Extreme! Radical! On Goodness
fire! Exceedingly beyond all you can ask or even Commitment
imagine! Glory, glory, hallelujah! Constructive candor
But then again, the Holy Spirit seems on fire Bearing one another’s burdens
to produce a life afire with rather unfiery things. Sense of need and weakness
His view of what is significant cuts Awesome! Reliance on another
down to size (while being the farthest thing from Peacemaking
dull). He is forming in you things that are good for Endurance
Humility
___________________________________________
David Powlison (M.Div., Ph.D.) teaches at CCEF and
Love
edits the “Journal of Biblical Counseling.”

2 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

 Not one of these sets off conspicuous (then or now), but he made a decisive difference.
fireworks. But these are worth more than Jesus was and is helpful. One day the help that
anything else you could ever desire. Jesus lived he is and does will make it all better.
this baker’s dozen of good graces. He is making In the meantime, make us simply helpful to
you into this image. each other.
I was talking with a dear friend recently, and
I asked him how I could pray for him. He made A Wondrously Moderate Makeover
a twofold prayer request: “Ask God to make me Make me childlike toward God, and make what
childlike in faith, and to make what I do and say I do and say helpful toward others. A moderate
helpful to others.” The more I think about what makeover, in other words. Not necessarily
he asked me to pray, the more I realize that my dramatic. No adrenaline rush. No scaling the
friend’s sense of need is drawn from the fountain emotional heights. No doing a fire dance on
of life. He asks for what makes all those good the high wire. No latest, greatest, hottest, best-
graces become necessities and realities. kept secret.
Make me childlike in faith. “Childlike” Moderate has this advantage: no odor
is free. It is free of self-consciousness, free of of hype. No excessive hopes that breed
pretense, free of becoming a personage or disillusionment. No danger of overpromising
playing a role. Childlike is free to live simply, but underdelivering. This makeover always
humanly, humanely. It is free to live depending delivers more than you think it was promising.
on others, on our Father and our family. It is This moderate makeover is the best thing
free of pride, of autonomy, of primal willfulness. imaginable—exceedingly beyond all you can
It is free of the waste of wraths and sorrows, ask or even imagine. Childlike toward God and
free of the waste of apprehensions and regrets. helpful toward others. Make that your prayer. I
Childlike is free to live within weakness and hope that you will bear all this in mind as you
limitation. Childlike is simple, pure, uncluttered, make your way into the rest of this issue of JBC.
not knotted together, not frayed, not fretful. As you read on, you will have already caught the
Childlike is unambivalent and straightforward. fragrance, the good sense, the spirit of the whole.
It is what we see happening in Psalm 131 and You will have breathed in the fragrance of Christ
Psalm 23. Childlike is free of the frenetic pursuit that makes biblical counseling different from
of innumerable impossibilities. Jesus is childlike. the alternatives.
Make us simply children toward you, our Father.
Make what I do and say helpful to * * *
others. “Helpful” is free. It is free of messianic
delusions, of pride, of condescension, of despair, This issue of the Journal of Biblical Counseling
of burdens impossible to bear. It is free of selfish tackles a widespread social and cultural
withdrawal from the tasks of living in a world problem. The secularization of psychology and
of toils and troubles. Helpful is free of making psychotherapy deeply mars contemporary life.
impossible demands. It is free of trying to fulfill Psychology and psychotherapy have no
impossible demands. Helpful is humble, caring, intrinsic need to be secularistic. At core, every
and forgiving. Helpful is simply constructive in human psyche is actually operating Godwardly.
innumerable small ways. Helpful is the very best The inner workings of every man, woman,
we can be for each other. Bear one another’s and child variously suppress and/or express
burdens—each must bear his own burden. To awareness of God. This God who is either being
help one another runs in both directions. Both of obscured or being revealed is not any old god.
us need aid, both of us give aid. Neither of us can He is the God who reveals himself by name in
ever make it all better or make it all go away. But Scripture and in person, Lamb and Shepherd
we make a difference. There is divine balance in and Consuming Fire, the one before whom every
helpful. Helpful is what we see in the Gospels knee will in fact bow. His presence or absence
when the Messiah lives among us, as one of us. colors every psychological phenomenon.
Jesus’ timely words and constructive actions, his The results of this tangle of suppressions and
noticing and paying attention, the pacing and expressions emerge in every single moment,
tempo of his life—he did not make it all better in every single word, thought, action, belief,

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 3

attitude, feeling, relationship, fantasy, memory, provocatively applies the fact that Christian faith
or anticipation. This is what is actually going on expresses God’s missionary impulse. Part of the
in people who are being studied, interpreted, and calling of Christians who counsel is to serve
counseled. He who has eyes to see, let him see. as missionaries to the mental health world.
In principle, then, psychological theory and Of course, counselors will always work at the
practice could reckon with this most significant grassroots of human need, seeking to redeem
aspect of reality. It is a pervasive problem when strugglers who ask for counseling help. But
the subtext operating on the facts, theories, Lady Wisdom also calls out to the highly secular
and practices blindly and willfully obscures the counseling subculture that surrounds us: “Turn
meaning of what is going on. But reality has a and live!”(Prov 9).
way of bursting forth, however iron-willed the Ed Welch’s “When God Touches the
repression (pace, Sigmund Freud). To put this Untouchables” speaks words of life into the
another way, every fact, insight, theory, and experience of shame. This article portrays an
skill in David Myers’s Psychology, in Freud’s inconceivably wonderful resolution to the
The Question of Lay Analysis, in Armand problem of shame.
Nicholi’s The Harvard Guide to Psychiatry, in Guilt and forgiveness are two of shame’s
Marsha Linehan’s Dialectical Behavior Therapy closest companions. Aaron Sironi zeroes in
unwittingly bears witness to the Godwardness on these in “From Your Heart… Forgive.” He
of reality. He who has eyes to see…. addresses how to forgive others when they
So how do Christians engage persons, have wronged us. Like the resolution of shame,
facts, ideas, and practices that are explicitly not- the resolution of interpersonal sin through
Christian, yet inhabit God’s world? The articles forgiveness brings uniquely Christian realities
you will read come at this question from various front and center.
angles. Of course, this is a journal, not a single- As a biblical counselor, how do you counsel
author monograph, so it is not comprehensive. non-Christians? This is the topic of Alasdair
Though these articles do not address every Groves’s contribution to the Counselor’s
question, a unified philosophy of redemptive Toolbox. In public ministry, Jesus simultaneously
engagement is at work. You will be reading a engaged both believers and nonbelievers. In
sampler in which the whole is greater than the personal conversations he frequently spoke with
sum of the parts. unbelievers. How do we follow in his footsteps?
From both the parts and the whole, I hope Paul Tripp contributes to your counseling
that readers will gain insight and feel for how toolbox with a practical resource for dealing with
to go about an important calling from our God. midlife crisis. The self-help books are all over
“Are You Feeling Inadequate?” is a pastoral this particular problem. But “Feeling Lost in the
letter written from Ed Welch to biblical Middle ofYour Life”gives you a bright alternative.
counselors. Certain stock criticisms of biblical Our Lives in Process stories deal respectively
counseling occur and recur. The forty-year-old with fixation on clothing and with parental
debates with “integrationists” do not go away. anger at a child. There is nothing like living your
Welch puts his finger on the key criticisms and own worldview to give resilience in the face of
offers clarifying answers. He encourages pastoral competing proposals for how to understand and
counselors and bids to improve the conversation solve common problems. In both stories, you
with clinical counselors. witness the ways of God as he goes to work on-
In “How Does Scripture Teach Us to Redeem site in immediate personal struggles.
Psychology?” I focus on the interface between We close with two book reviews. Lenore
the secular psychological endeavor and our Skenazy’s Free Range Kids describes the problem
faith. The potential for fruitful engagement of hovering, controlling, fear-filled parents, and
is huge. Because all psychological facts bear attempts to offer a healthier alternative. The
eloquent witness to biblical reality, we find issue Skenazy identifies characterizes a wide
points of contact everywhere. Will you engage swath of contemporary culture, and plagues
in clear-minded, humble, and bold conversation many Christian parents as well.
and proclamation? Ethan Watters’s Crazy Like Us discusses
Sam Williams’ “Counselors as Missionaries” how the American mental health model has

4 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

been exported to other countries, and various cultural analyses help us to better understand
ways it has been received or rejected. Cross- our own cultural context.

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 5

 Are You Feeling Inadequate?
A Letter to Biblical Counselors

by Edward T. Welch

Fall 2012 (and often implicit) idea can be read in recent

books, heard at seminars, or detected in casual
To my fellow biblical counselors, comments. Perhaps given the alternatives—
being perceived as pugnacious or being
Let’s say you are meeting with someone, neglected altogether—biblical counselors might
and over recent weeks you have witnessed that be satisfied with the upgrade to merely shallow.
this person… But these are important matters; the means and
…has a renewed interest in Scripture ends of counseling are at stake. We do want
and gratitude to Christ to listen to our critics, to weigh what they say,
…has been shocked by self-centeredness and then speak back to them. We need to listen
and is repenting and engage because the underlying issues have
…has been forgiving family members significant implications for the church.
and looking for ways to love them I am interested in this “shallow” statement
…has been eager to hear sermons and for two reasons. First, I simply want to
be spiritually fed at the Lord’s Supper understand why this perspective persists. I
…has come alive with Spirit-filled joy think that spiritual steps take us into otherwise
and a sense of God’s nearness unknown reaches of human nature and address
You would be thrilled as you watch your friend us at depths we could never have imagined.
take these new spiritual steps. What am I missing?
But then you overhear a Christian counselor My second reason is on behalf of my students
who is more clinically-oriented say, “Spiritual (current and past) and colleagues. When you rub
steps are shallow.” shoulders with the broader counseling world,
Shallow!? Given what you are witnessing will you too wonder if your training was narrow
in your friend, the word shallow seems totally and provincial? Will you come to think spiritual
inappropriate. But that is the implication steps are shallow? Will you resort to eclecticism
from counseling neighbors, especially those as a way to ward off possible shallowness? Will
professionals in the sexual abuse, addictions, you be able to respond to these perceptions? Do
and depression fields. This sometimes explicit you yourself have these thoughts?

___________________________________________ What Labels Helpfully Describe

Edward Welch (M.Div., Ph.D.) counsels and teaches at the Differences?
CCEF. He is the author of “When People Are Big and God Before I respond to this critique from our
Is Small.” Christian counseling neighbors, let me first

6 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

define the labels I will use in this discussion. of whisper-down-the-lane anecdotes about Jay
An early distinction was integrationist and Adams that have been used against pastoral
non-integrationist. Those labels appear less counseling. I think the critique is a less-than-
frequently now, but the differences continue informed stereotype—and it is also a bit stale. It
under new names. More recently the term is usually based on a general impression of the
Christian counselor has come to refer to the 1970’s and on hearsay.
integrationist side of the counseling spectrum Meanwhile, a perfectly good word—
and biblical counselor to the non-integrationist spiritual—is tarnished. Scripture does not share
side. But I think that the terms Christian and this pejorative meaning. Instead, spiritual implies
biblical are not helpful. We are all Christians, and compassionate, personal, real, Christ-focused,
we all aim and claim to be faithful to the Bible in done by faith, powerful, words of life, living
our approaches to counseling. Also, these words water, life abundant, and balm for the troubled
are too close in meaning. They do not signal the soul. Most often spiritual means Spiritual; that
substantial differences between the two. is, from the Holy Spirit’s own hand and voice.

When you rub shoulders with the broader

counseling world, will you too wonder if your
training was narrow and provincial? Will you come
to think spiritual steps are shallow?

Instead, I will use the term clinical rather This raises a question: Are clinical
than Christian or integrationist. I will use the counselors suggesting that Scripture itself is
term pastoral rather than biblical or non- shallow, or that the gospel is shallow? Scripture
integrationist. Clinical refers to counseling is the sourcebook for prayer, words from God,
approaches that seek to be shaped by empirical confession, church participation, and the rest.
data and therapeutic professionalism. Pastoral Are these innately shallow? Or, understood
refers to approaches that seek to be guided by rightly, are they inherently deep?
the purposes and insights that are explicitly from After we get past the stereotype that pastoral
the Bible. counselors mechanically enforce external
obedience, four related criticisms sneak under
How Is It that “Spiritual Steps” Are the heading of shallow. They are all linked to older
“Shallow”?
discussions about the “integration” of Christian
Now consider the quote, “Spiritual steps are
faith with secular psychologies. Certainly, not
shallow.” Since words can be ambiguous, let
every clinical counselor dwells on the real or
me aim for a shared understanding of the
imagined inadequacies of pastoral counseling.
important terms.
Many know little about it. But clinical counselors
Spiritual can have different meanings.
who either have academic appointments or are
When used pejoratively, as it is in this statement,
interested in the history of Christian counseling
it presumes to identify a counseling approach in
will recognize these critiques. As stewards of
which the central “diagnosis” is behavioral sin
pastoral counseling, we should recognize these
and the “treatment”is prayer, Bible study, trying
criticisms and offer a constructive response.
harder, confession, and church attendance.
Pastoral counselors are assumed to be
Furthermore, it implies that such treatments
shallow due to four perceptions.
are prescribed impersonally and adopted
Perception 1: We focus on sin. Try to put
legalistically. A pejorative view takes an abuse
yourself in the position of clinical counselors
of Scripture too common in theologically
who see one person after another who has
conservative churches, and implies that the
been horribly victimized. Now imagine how
problem is endemic to pastoral counseling.
they might respond when they hear pastoral
This critique persists also in part because
counselors talk about sin. If they can get past

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 7

reverberating images of censoriousness, of classes. If experts say that we should be alert to
resolves to try harder, of hell-fire (which many these lesser sufferings, why have we neglected
of them will not be able to do), they will have this critical material?
no idea how our comments about sin connect to So, the concern among clinical counselors
the bruised reeds sitting in front of them. To their is that our spiritual steps miss life’s sufferings
ears, it sounds like we are blaming the victim. and disappointments, especially events from the
All Christians agree that sin is embedded past. Pain and disappointment are what is deep,
in the human condition, but to identify sin as and going deep is what is needed. Psychological
the cornerstone of a counseling model seems methods help us access those past pains.

Scripture is the sourcebook for prayer, words from

God, confession, church participation, and the
rest. Are these innately shallow? Or, understood
rightly, are they inherently deep?
“shallow” to clinical counselors. It seems to miss We certainly have questions about this
other critical matters of our human condition perception, but let’s postpone those until we
and to give pastoral counseling an ethos of hear more.
parents who are constantly disciplining their Perception 3: We dismiss psychiatric
children. diagnoses. A third reason we are perceived as
Perception 2: We gloss over personal shallow is the belief that we disdain psychological
history. A related concern is that spiritual categories, especially the DSM diagnostic
approaches focus on present behavior, which codes.2 Regardless of one’s opinion on modern
leaves pastoral counselors busy adjudicating psychiatric diagnoses, anyone who has spent
right or wrong. As a result, we miss the impact time with struggling people knows that many of
of past events in which counselees did not the problems described by these diagnoses are
do wrong but wrong was done to them. The all too real. To ignore these problems would be
concern again is that we miss suffering. Many to ignore life-dominating struggles.
clinical counselors argue that the hardships This concern can plant troubling questions
and sufferings of our past are what constitute for an insecure pastoral counselor. For example,
“deep.” Past hurts lead to present pathologies; perhaps you can work well with some types
so if you miss past hurts, you are not able to offer of anger, but what if angry outbursts seem
effective help. connected to post-traumatic stress disorder or
Before we quickly respond that our view another psychiatric diagnosis? Are we alert to
of the person takes into account both sin and surface problems but blind to those things that
suffering, notice how clinical counselors might are most important?
scrutinize the past. They are alert to serious I will circle back on this, too, in a moment.
violations such as rape and child abuse, as all of For now, this takes us back to the same critique:
us are, but they cast their net widely. A recent shallow means that pastoral counselors miss
book listed examples such as: human suffering because we focus on sin.
A parent gets the flu and is briefly Suffering is what is truly deep and, our detractors
unavailable to the child. say, the DSM is a necessary tool that helps us
A parent misses firsts, such as the first little identify suffering.
league game or first ballet recital. Perception 4: We object to secular
Siblings get sick and steal parental time observations. All of these concerns share a
from a child.1 perception that we disdain scientific or secular
These experiences are part of a long list. It might observations. Like most perceptions, this
leave some students of pastoral counseling both unusually entrenched one has its reasons.
feeling inadequate and wondering why these Perhaps the critique is fundamentally a
more nuanced infractions were omitted in our matter of character more than theology and

8 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

method. That is, we are perceived as over- Without forgiveness, suffering is endless. The
confident about what we know about people problem with sin is deeper than the problem with
and problems. The formula is simple: a legalistic, suffering.
authoritative, line-drawing counseling style— Most Christians, I hope, would agree. Soften
plus a shunning of psychological research—adds this premise and identify suffering as humanity’s
up to a lack of humility on our part. It is assumed premiere problem, then the gospel itself becomes
that we reject these observations because we are superficial, or even an encumbrance. The gospel,
so confident in what we already know. at first glance, can lead to more suffering rather
When I have spoken about our approach than less. If suffering is the deepest problem,
to integration at conferences, I have tried to be then we ought to look for solutions that are
balanced, biblical and gracious, while I state that deeper than the gospel.
pastoral counseling values careful observation, Yet I can understand why clinical approaches
whether first-hand or from any other source. fear heavy-handed, impersonal, or judgmental
But audiences rarely respond to the content of applications of the doctrine of sin. With those
my comments about integration. Instead, they concerns in mind, I am challenged to be more
are surprised when I act like a normal, respectful specific and nuanced.
human being. They expect an angry, finger- Here are some corollaries to our doctrine
wagging know-it-all and polemicist. They are, as of sin.
they should be, interested in character. • Our understanding of the person makes
Character is one issue, but not the only one. sin the central problem, but our pastoral
Clinical counselors sincerely believe that we strategy does not require us to identify every
shun all things secular. Shallow, therefore, means sin. The Spirit certainly does not bring out
that without the aid of scientific observations, an endless sin list every morning.
we will miss critical details about human life • Our goal is not to uncover sin. Our goal
because we focus on moral assessment to the is to make the connection between Jesus
exclusion of personal pain. To clinical counselors, Christ and everyday life (with its sins and
psychological research provides essential sufferings). The person of Jesus is at the
observations, theories, and methods by which we center of our counseling model.
can understand pain, as well as the complexities • As a general rule, given a choice between
of the broken human condition. Without this sin and suffering, we will usually start with
research we miss what is deep. suffering. When a person’s sin is oppressing
those who are weaker, however, we begin
Initial Responses and Clarifications with sin.
Now to some responses. Any critique should • We can speak about sin in a way that
sharpen us. It should challenge us either to encourages. Sin itself is not good news,
rework our model or to strengthen it. With but seeing sin is. When a person’s eyes are
that in mind, here are some brief responses to opened to see sin, it is a tangible reminder
the four concerns that clinical counseling raises that the Spirit is on the move, and our
about pastoral counseling. adoption by the Father is confirmed. Since
Response to perception 1: We focus on sin. the tone of Scripture is sweet and attractive,
Sin has a central place in our counseling theory, we expect that to be the prominent tone
as it should. Sin truly is humanity’s deepest of our counseling, even when we speak of
problem. Forgiveness of sins is the solution. hard things.
Suffering without forgiveness is death. Suffering, Conversations about sin naturally lead to the person
accompanied by the knowledge of forgiveness, and work of Jesus Christ. Any moral assessments
is contentment. Suffering, accompanied by in counseling are a step to know The Person who
hope, can even mean joy. Scripture judges the bears sins and teaches us his ways. Since sin is
importance of things, in part, by their longevity. about allegiances that have turned from Jesus, the
Sin without repentance has persistent, life- knowledge of sins is most important in turning
destroying consequences; forgiveness of sins back to him. Allegiances come from who or what
removes suffering for all eternity. Earthly we love, and it is the knowledge of Jesus Christ, as
suffering is for a moment (relatively speaking). planted by the Spirit, that leads us in love for him.

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 9

 A model of counseling that rises out of to the person, it is important to the Lord and
Scripture makes sin the critical human problem. to us. Some victimization is more serious
It cannot be otherwise. Yet any Christian can than other events in the past. For example,
recount times when someone spoke about sin sexual violation is more serious than verbal
in a way that treated people harshly and without rejection, and verbal rejection more serious
love. In response, rather than shy away from sin, than a failure in sports. But Scripture does
this challenges us to speak of sin with humility, not compare and contrast suffering, as if
patience, and kindness. Only then can sin be some hardships deserve more compassion
discussed in ways that bring life and hope. than others.
Response to perception 2: We gloss over • We are especially pulled to the past
personal history. Anyone who studies Scripture when someone has entrenched sinful
is a historian and develops a historian’s mindset. patterns such as addictions, or they are
For every human event there is a backstory that hiding shameful experiences that have
adds depth, richness, and meaning. We care been partitioned from God’s healing
about history because we believe God works words. Again, what happened? How did
through human history. Our joint history through this develop?
Adam and Jesus is critical to our understanding • Each person’s past contains a near infinite
of others and ourselves. amount of data. No one can know all the
This extends to individual histories as well. details of yesterday, let alone another’s
Although some characters appear briefly in the entire life. Our goal is to know someone
biblical narratives, most of the major names— accurately, not exhaustively.
Moses, David, John, Jesus, and Paul—have • There are times when we know very little
biographies that allow us to know the trajectories of past events but can still know the person
of their lives. and help. The effectiveness of biblical
One challenge is that Scripture gives little preaching hangs on this point. Preachers
methodological instruction on how and when can be very powerful without knowing the
to inquire about someone’s past. And Jesus does details of those who hear.
not seem to help. When we watch him in action, • The past can bring insight, but insight is not
he gives almost no methodological cues because the same as change.
he knew people without asking questions. He A person’s past is powerful and influential, but
could cut to the core spiritual issue. But we can not determinative. This means that pastoral
still cull some basic pointers. Here are a few. counseling will not have a preconceived
• Both sin and suffering have a past. Sin is approach to someone’s past. Sometimes
incited, modeled, excused, and shaped by counselors may only have a vague awareness
our past. Suffering also has a past. Both drive of a person’s history—and that’s fine. Other
us to ask the question,“What happened?” times we will plunge into the historical details—
• Sin cannot be reduced to past woundedness because it matters.
or unmet needs. Instead, a biblical Response to perception 3: We dismiss
explanation of sin leaves us with an essential psychiatric diagnoses. On the matter of
tautology: sin is the cause of sin. Original sin psychiatric diagnoses, which also includes
is not a result of woundedness; personal sin psychiatric medications, pastoral counseling
is not a result of woundedness. So personal is decidedly ordinary. Other critiques of the
history does not have the causal weight that diagnostic system and of the overselling
gets attached to it. of medication by secular mental health
• Sin, however, can cause little ones to professionals are much more severe than
stumble (Matt 18:16). There are times when anything we have written about diagnoses, or
a person’s sin is not front and center, and the place of medication. We are middle-of-the-
we will instead focus on how that person road. We see strengths and weaknesses in both.
was grievously sinned against. Our concerns have not been with the
• A person’s past typically evokes diagnoses themselves. Diagnoses are only a
compassion—both God’s compassion and description, not an explanation of cause or
our own. Typically, if something is important identity. But we are concerned that those who

10 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

are diagnosed have trouble incorporating their In general, An Unquiet Mind is the kind
diagnosis into a coherent biblical worldview. of secular research we find most helpful.
Psychiatric labels morph into explanations and We typically value qualitative research more
identities, and they are not enriched with biblical than quantitative. An in-depth case study,
meaning. For example, pastoral counseling biography, or memoir helps us to understand
appreciates how diagnostic categories draw our the complexity of human experience, and it adds
attention to paranoia, because it can be a serious to case wisdom that otherwise might have taken
problem for the person who experiences it, as years to develop.
well as for the person’s family. Our concern is In principle, we are also in favor of the

Our interest is to show how the various

problems identified in modern psychiatry are
given clarity and deeper meaning when they
are seen as existing in God’s domain.
that the term quarantines that problem from quantitative research found in most academic
Scripture. As such, the biblical material about journals in psychology (in which there are
fear lays dormant because the person’s problems control groups and experimental groups), but it
are “psychological” or “psychiatric” rather than has less influence on our practice. Given human
“spiritual.” Many evangelicals limit Scripture’s complexity, and how so many uncontrolled
turf to problems such as guilt. Meanwhile, variables can affect experimental results, we
pervasive patterns of fear, victimization, tend to have a patient, wait-and-see attitude
suffering, anger, and shame seem like they when particular studies make definitive claims
are best understood by secular psychology that can affect counseling.
and psychiatry. Our interest is to show how What secular help are we missing? The
the various problems identified in modern concern among some clinical counselors
psychiatry are given clarity and deeper meaning seems to be that spiritual approaches miss new
when they are seen as existing in God’s domain. brain research and a deeper understanding
Scripture speaks to people’s troubles.3 of relational hurt. Let me address those two
Pastoral counseling does not “dismiss” concerns now.
psychiatric diagnoses. Instead, it approaches Brain research: A present trend in science is
them as we do everything else: How does the to identify how entrenched, repetitive, or self-
word of God help us to see these phenomena destructive behaviors are brain-based.4 Human
even more clearly? actions provoke a neuro-chemical firestorm that
Response to perception 4: We object to a person identifies as pleasurable. An addict
secular observations. Our relatively ordinary wants to recreate that firestorm even if there is a
approach to psychiatric diagnoses suggests significant cost. In other words, certain behaviors
that we also have an ordinary view of secular feel good, really good, and sometimes a person
observations. In complicated counseling will keep doing them regardless of what God, a
situations we want help. We know that there spouse, or beloved children say.
are specialists who have seen more ADD, We have little argument with this research.
bipolar, or drug addictions than we have. We People often do what they feel like doing. But
can benefit from their case experience. One of the research does not demonstrate a causal link
the most popular books in the CCEF curriculum between brain activity and behavior, in which
is Kay Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind. Jamison the brain compels the person into mindless
is not a Christian, but she gives an insider’s action. The research simply observes that
understanding of the experience of bipolar different behaviors and desires correlate with
that exceeds the experience of most pastoral different brain patterns, which a Christian
counselors. Every student who reads her book is understanding of human beings as embodied
doing, and profiting from, secular research. would predict.

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 11

 Results are interpreted, however. By the words to suffering people. Scripture itself is
time they reach the reader, the interpretation deep in its understanding of human suffering.
is that “Your brain made you do it.” These From this foundation we are eager to listen
conclusions are unwarranted from the data and learn how human beings tend to respond
and contrary to Scripture. They are not true, and can respond to oppression and hardships.
and they have little influence in pastoral The trauma literature is certainly helpful in
counseling. One common problem is that providing some of those details. Those details,
many of our students are unable to distinguish of course, are filled with mysteries. For example,
the data from its subsequent interpretation, different cultures and different personality styles
and they are unfamiliar with the technicalities make it impossible to predict how anyone will
of the research. Once a researcher cites respond to particular traumas, but we are eager
neurotransmitters, the case, too often, has been to discover the range of human responses to
closed and students are left wondering if they various hardships.
have it right. Our perspective on secular research is
Ironically, the reigning secular addiction mainstream. Sometimes secular literature is
therapies involve insight and self-effort. No one is useful, and sometimes it is not. Sometimes
waiting for the brain-based, biological solution. it makes observations that are important
Instead, addicts who want to change fight their and reliable, and these observations must be
desires. No one really believes that human life is accounted for and addressed within our biblical
as simple as “my body made me do it.” We agree framework. Sometimes research claims are so
with secular therapists that physical desires can paradigm-specific that they have no relevance for
be overwhelming at times, and at those times a a biblical approach. Our unique concern is that
struggler does best to stay as far from the desired useful observations never remain independent
object as possible. We also think we can offer a but always receive biblical re-interpretation,
better Helper on-scene and more persuasive deepening, and enrichment.
reasons to fight temptations.
Brain research has had an impact on Pastoral counselor, how do you respond
when you hear these things?
pastoral counseling by adding to our knowledge
A friend was discussing a counseling situation
of how some irregularities in the brain can lead
with me in which he seemed unusually tentative.
to perplexing behaviors. For example, some
Though he was thinking clearly and wisely,
olfactory hallucinations can point to temporal
and he had counseled others in very similar
lobe dysfunction, and it helps to know about the
circumstances, he seemed intimidated.
emotional lability of a person who had a small
I asked why he was so uncertain.
stroke. These observations, however, comport
“I am afraid that I am missing something,
with richly Christian theological structures.
and either the passing of time or the secular
Trauma Literature: Pastoral counseling is
therapist down the street will reveal that I did
accused of missing the impact of past relational
not know what I was talking about. What if there
hurts and trauma. But whatever weaknesses
is a medication for this that really helps? What if
we may have do not come from our theological
there is a method that is successful and I don’t
model. We have a theology of suffering that
know it?”
can bring comfort to the oppressed, because
One of my concerns is that students can be
suffering cannot separate us from the love of
immobilized by their fears of inadequacy. You
God and his many promises (Rom 8). One
already feel inexperienced and inadequate. Now
feature of God’s Word—hope comes from
add “spiritual steps are shallow,” and you will
his presence—renders all secular answers
feel more inadequate.
to suffering superficial. And since God has
Years ago I presented a paper on Multiple
declared himself, in word and deed, as the
Personality Disorder—this was before the
God who is, above all else, “compassionate
diagnosis was changed to Dissociative Identify
and gracious” (Ex 34:6), we offer this hope
Disorder (DID). I was asked afterwards by a
with compassion and graciousness. If there are
gentleman to meet for coffee. From the moment
weaknesses in our response to past trauma,
we sat down to the time we got up, he told
they reside in our own inept handling of God’s

12 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

me that everything I said was wrong. Then he believe the most profound treatment for such
told me what I should have said, and then he re-wiring is a mind that follows Jesus and his
exhorted me to recant. Most students would radical re-interpretations of human suffering.
veer off into either retirement or depression after I am giving two brief responses to only
such a conversation. two questions that I have heard. My point is
But there are other options. The most that criticism is no reason to panic. It is simply
obvious is that we listen to critique. Work to a reason to listen. And, once we understand
understand the theories and theology that guide the other person, the criticisms might not be as
the critique. Consider where to clarify or revise devastating as they first appeared. But I know
our perspective. And we do not have to do all that it is one thing to read about a potentially
this before we finish our coffee. In this case, my encouraging line of biblical reasoning in the face
interlocutor was committed to an interpretation of criticism, when it was directed toward me. It
that identified all “alter egos/personalities” as is another to hear these comments when you
either demonic, in which case they needed to be feel somewhat inexperienced and inadequate.
cast out, or separate personalities, in which case Most inexperienced counselors do feel
each one needed personalized re-parenting. inadequate. Experienced counselors sometimes
This hybrid theory creates a methodological feel inadequate, too. That’s normal. So let’s
nightmare. For example, which alter needs to address that.
be cast out and which needs to be lovingly re- Three Ways You Might Feel Inadequate
parented? That diagnostic dilemma was part of Inadequacy has its benefits. Incompetence
his point: only discerning experts can make that has no benefits—but inadequacy does. There
decision, and I, apparently, was not one of them. is much we do not know. Inadequacy leads to
My own perspective was accessible to humility, and humility is always the order of the
most of us: “I don’t understand much of what day. But there are different kinds of inadequacy.
is happening, but I do understand that a person One is methodological. This type of
who carries the label DID struggles with fear, inadequacy is found in our students who
anger, guilt, and shame, and Scripture speaks have assimilated lots of information, but the
winsomely to these staples of human existence.” information has not been translated into
On another occasion, a psychologist friend ordinary conversations with people who
was stunned that we would omit EMDR (Eye struggle. These students are not “case-wise.”
Movement Desensitization Reprocessing)5 Information remains at the lecture and reading
as a counseling tool. He said that the research level, and a counselee will not respond well to a
made it clear that this treatment cured painful class lecture in a one-to-one counseling context.
memories in the brain itself. So, once this student is placed in a counseling
What would you say? Though you might situation, and counselees are unenthusiastic
not enroll in the next EMDR seminar, you might about the content, they suspect they are missing
be more tentative with the next counselee a technique or insight. When a secular therapist
because you wonder if you are working with a offers a simple technique such as reflective
limited toolbox. After all, can pastoral counseling listening or EMDR, these students feel like they
actually rewire the brain? have finally secured an essential method. The
But if you listen to this critic you would problem, however, is not that you are missing a
notice that he brings a particular worldview: critical method. It is that you feel lost and have
relational trauma is the most important matter no experience in finding a way through the dark.
in life and physical treatments are the deepest Experience, help, and humility are the methods
and most effective treatments. In other words, you need.
EMDR is part of a system. His method fits his Another kind of inadequacy is biblical and
theology. Since our theology is different, we theological. Students also have access to large
anticipate that our methods will be too. amounts of information, but since it is difficult to
This is not to say that EMDR is useless and keep large amounts of theological information
pagan. Instead, I am saying that EMDR is not a in mind, they tend to rehearse one or two basic
natural expression of our theological foundations. answers to most questions. For example, I know
Though trauma might re-wire the brain, we a student who has been especially blessed by

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 13

the biblical teaching on God’s sovereignty. This, this person’s life struggle and in Scripture.
indeed, is a majestic theme in Scripture, but it Life and Scripture always connect—usually in
is one of many. Sometimes she applies it and it surprising, life-rearranging ways.
is a blessing. Sometimes she applies it and her With that twenty-five year old woman, I
counsel seems to lack compassion and a call actually began with “Why are you so afraid?”
to action. Her conflicts were with the two people she
There are consequences to this second loved most—and she feared losing them. So
inadequacy. she drank. Alcohol is a depressant and can
• Counseling will be scripted and wooden. It temporarily quiet a frenetic heart. Her tears
has answers even before it listens. suggested that the question hit home. From
• Counseling will be awkwardly connected that question we made natural connections to
to this person and to the world of Jesus trusting in the One who is both the good, gentle
Christ. Too often, students who fall in love Shepherd and the unshakable Foundation.
with a particular theological proposition What if you didn’t identify fears, but chose
forget that all propositions are ultimately to pursue conflict resolution in James 4? That
personal. The result is pastoral care that is another possible place to begin. Then, if you
looks more like cognitive restructuring than approach her with humility and the awareness
trust in Jesus. that there is always more to know about
• Counseling will eventually feel inadequate another, you would begin to notice that she
as fewer and fewer people are helped. was not so much controlling and self-righteous
Without a clear and growing theological as much as she was desperate.
infrastructure, each new problem that was not Not only are people complex, but Scripture
explicitly addressed in class leaves you grasping is also complex. It contains so many stories,
for a new theory or strategy. Experience, help, principles, promises, and unanticipated
and humility are what you really need. applications. How can you identify the
A third kind of inadequacy is the one we communication of God to this person when
aspire to. Human beings are complicated. The there are so many possibilities and you feel
anxious teen you spoke with this morning inadequate to access those possibilities? This,
shares only the word anxious with the anxious of course, is a question that animates all of
widow you are seeing this afternoon. Each the literature in pastoral counseling. Here
person is different and our approach is different. is how I respond. We live at the intersection
Such flexible methodology, which needs a of complexity and simplicity. The complexity
nimble theological foundation, is daunting to challenges us to be perpetual students of
most counselors. Scripture and people. The simplicity reminds
Sometimes you can have a hard time us that our counsel aims for “love God and
knowing where to begin. For example, consider neighbor” and “Christ and him crucified.” And
a twenty-five year old woman struggling in sometimes, when everything seems murky, we
conflicts with her boyfriend (with whom she is fall back to favorite passages, such as Psalm 23
sexually active), and her mother (with whom or the prodigal son, that capture the thing of
she lives). She also has a tendency to self- “first importance” (1 Cor 15:3).
medicate with alcohol. Where do you begin? This third kind of inadequacy is best
Less experienced counselors are always understood as humility. You are faced with
searching for something that can make them difficult questions that compel you to pray. You
feel more competent and comfortable. If a ask for help. That fine beginning in which you
question or tool gleaned from cognitive- call out to God for wisdom adds experience.You
behavioral therapy helps, the counselor grabs for seek help from others. You grow in case-wise
it, even though it is uncertain how this fits into experience with people, problems, and Christ.
a biblical model. Orthodoxy seems like a luxury You grow in humility rather than inadequacy.
when you are scrambling to say something Humility is the secret. Humility is willing
useful. But instead of looking for a new method to ask questions. “How are you doing? Are
to bail you out, keep asking questions, while we talking about those things that are most
you remember what is especially clear in both important to you?”“Here is how I understand

14 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

what is happening—what am I missing? Do our preference is that we are simply reframing
I understand what is really on your heart?” what a person is already acknowledging—it
Humility is always eager to listen. is stating the obvious. The best way to move
Abiding in Christ, confident in the Spirit’s this discussion ahead is to talk about specific
work, certain that there is nothing deeper than counseling situations and give concrete
the revelation of the Father in the Son, qualified to illustrations of how you would approach sin.
love others wisely (even when you do not know But method is not the only matter. There
everything there is to know), eager to listen…that have been different perspectives on the nature of
is the mixture that leads to fruitful ministry. sin throughout church history, and it is possible
that these different perspectives are relevant
Questions for Clinical Counselors to the discussion with clinically-oriented
The discussion between clinical and pastoral counselors. The differences could be identified
counselors needs to go both ways. As the

We live at the intersection of complexity and simplicity.

The complexity challenges us to be perpetual students
of Scripture and people. The simplicity reminds us that
our counsel aims for “love God and neighbor”and
“Christ and him crucified.”
next generation of pastoral counselors, you as Augustinian and Pelagian,6 in which pastoral
already have plenty to do. You are surrounded counseling follows Augustine, and clinical
by struggling people who are hurting, isolated, counseling favors a semi-Pelagian perspective.
confused, and stuck. You want to love them There are certain features of Pelagianism
wisely. That will keep you busy. But try to that most Christians would disavow. What I am
squeeze time into your schedule to consider trying to identify is how some clinical approaches
these larger discussions with other Christians suggest that sin is limited to intentional
who are involved in counseling. disobedience. If so, then sin is largely intentional.
Clinical counselors are correct that there It is thus ruled out of most discussions about
are differences between clinical counseling addictions. After all, the desire of most addicts is
and pastoral counseling. The difference is not to be freed from their addiction. Their conscious
that spiritual steps are shallow, but there are intent is good, but they are handicapped by
differences. You place a different weight on sin, the addiction.
personal history, DSM diagnoses, medications, An Augustinian perspective acknowledges
and research, and these differences point to both our intentional and unintentional motives.
different theological emphases. I hope that you Sin is both intentional and blindly enslaving.
will neither be intimidated by clinical approaches Both are highly personal in that they are about
nor cut yourself off from them. I hope that you our trusts, loves, and allegiances. When sin is
will listen and love wisely when you have the understood as merely intentional, it is, indeed,
opportunity. a superficial view of human behavior. But when
As you listen, you too have questions for we add the enslaving nature of sin, along with
them. Here are some possible questions to its unintentional and instinctive tendencies, we
consider as you talk with clinical counselors have a robust theology that gives insight into
and continue to develop the pastoral these complex struggles.
counseling model. Question 2: “What is your doctrine of
Question 1: “In what ways do you think the person?” The question about sin is part of
that the assessment of sin is superficial?” Yes, a larger question. Perhaps even more important
we are keeping sin on the agenda. We agree that than the discussion about integration are
self-righteous judgments are disgraceful and questions about the doctrine of the person and
damaging. When we talk about sin in counseling, the nature of the human heart. The doctrine of

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 15

the person gets into matters such as the image divine hand to clear our vision. Nature alone
of God, trichotomy versus duality, sin, the cannot get us into the very depths of either
place of emotions and thinking, and how one’s God’s heart or the human heart.
theological infrastructure informs counseling Another version of this is that clinical
method. The question about the heart gets very counselors will note that both special revelation
specific. It gets at the sine qua non of humanity. (Scripture) and general revelation (nature) can
What is the essential feature of humanity? be misinterpreted. We agree. But here again,
How do you interpret longings? Relationships? it seems wiser to maintain a holy “imbalance.”
Allegiances? The real differences between Reliable observations about human nature
clinical and pastoral counseling can be traced and change are very difficult to achieve. An
to the theology of the person, whether implicit observation might be announced with fanfare,
or explicit. A profitable dialogue draws out such as the evidence for a particular bipolar
each other’s theological assumptions and notes gene—but then it disappears when there is

Inadequacy is a reason to grow, but it is not a reason

to abandon biblical distinctives. Continue to strive to
see everything through the lens of Scripture.
how pervasively they control counseling theory no corroborating evidence, or a dozen other
and practice. factors (including the human heart!) come
Question 3: “Can we get specific about into play. The psychological sciences exist in
doctrine and how it impacts counseling?” a culture where positive results get published
Theory and practice are always linked. Doctrine and publications lead to jobs, and clever people
and practice are always linked. But we rarely talk can take lackluster data and offer a creative new
about specific practice with clinical counselors. spin. Do clinical counselors jump too quickly
Imagine being able to view a counseling when the most recent study or therapeutic
case, stop the video, give or hear a rationale innovation claims that mental health will be
for the approach, and dig for the underlying uniquely helped by this new development?
theological assumptions. Scripture, too, can be mishandled. But
When discussions remain abstract, given how the church has worked out useful
everyone infuses them with their own specifics. understandings over time, and given that we
These may be very different than the initial have the Spirit who enables us to interpret
intent of the speaker or writer. This is one Scripture, judicious biblical interpretations
reason why discussions about sin have been are less suspect. There are, indeed, many
handicapped. When pastoral counselors denominations, but we can probably agree on
think about sin, we have in mind a sweet a basic theology that shapes our counseling. If
conversation in which the Spirit reveals what we don’t agree, we can go back to the exegetical
is true, pours forth grace, and gives us a vision drawing board and work through particular
for growth. But others might be envisioning passages together. But most differences
finger-wagging and spiders dangling over fires. between clinical counseling and pastoral
Particulars are essential. counseling do not arise from debatable nuances
Question 4: “Are Scripture and science in interpretation.
equal partners?” Integration is not the primary Here’s another place to engage these issues.
issue, though there are worthy questions about Give thought to the saying “All truth is God’s
integration still in front of us. truth.” It was the rallying cry of integration in
For example, clinical counselors still allude the 1980’s, and you still hear it today. Does this
to two primary sources: Scripture and nature. mean that Freudian dream analysis was true as
But don’t they agree that there is an imbalance Scripture is true? Does it mean that cognitive
between the two? Romans 1 indicates that we methods have been proven successful and
cannot interpret nature accurately and need a therefore are as true as Scripture ? Does it mean

16 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

that neuroscience and the DSM-IV are as true look carefully at the observation, and see it with
and relevant as Christian truth? Recognize the more clarity and depth. Any useful observation
“All truth is God’s truth” argument, whether is a small piece of biblical reality that has been
stated or implicit. Help the other person taken from the larger puzzle. Once returned,
deconstruct the assumptions. with perhaps a good bit of work and cleaning
Question 5: “Do we understand the of the edges, it will make more sense. The new
concerns and questions of Christian counselors?” piece of information will never put your entire
Counselors eager to understand the other framework into question.
person accurately talk about matters that are Why should we be so interested in these
most important. Those same desires should matters? When any piece of your counseling
transfer into all conversations, especially those theory or method gets untethered from Scripture,
between clinical and pastoral counselors. As it gets untethered from Christ.
such, we consistently ask, “Are there things you
think that I am missing?” and “Are there ways I With affection in Christ,
have been disrespectful or less than Christian in
Ed Welch
the way I have spoken?”
Glenside, Pennsylvania
Some Final Thoughts for Students and _______________________________________
1 Tim Clinton and Gary Sibcy, Attachments: Why You
Colleagues
Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do (Brentwood, TN:
Still feeling inadequate? If so, I hope it is the good, Integrity, 2002), 40.
humble sort of inadequacy. I felt inadequate 2 DSM is short for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
for my first fifteen years as a counselor, and I of the American Psychiatric Association, which is
probably should have felt it more over the last presently in its 4th edition and is always being updated.
fifteen. The right kind of inadequacy is a sure It is the reference guide for all psychiatric diagnoses.
3 For example, whenever we refer to the embodied
sign that you will grow. And the CCEF faculty
soul, we have modern psychiatry in view. For more
looks forward to how you will surpass us in information, see CCEF booklets, JBC articles, and books
creativity, insight, skill, and wisdom. that define our perspective on psychiatric disorders. For
Inadequacy is a reason to grow, but it is a recent compilation of materials, consider the audio
not a reason to abandon biblical distinctives. recordings from the CCEF 2011 National Conference,
Continue to strive to see everything through the which focused on psychiatric problems.
4 For example, see Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr. and Freda
lens of Scripture. Along the way other people
McKissic’s book Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex
will identify useful data that your lens did not is Affecting Our Children (Chicago: Northfield, 2008).
initially see. The data might be inaccurate or 5 EMDR is a trauma treatment that uses eye movements
inconsequential, or it could be enlightening and to process painful memories.
potentially useful. If you need help discerning, 6 Augustinianism emphasizes the comprehensive effects
get help. When the data might be useful, then of sin on man. Pelagianism maintains that sin has only
had a limited effect on man.
your mission is to keep your scriptural glasses on,

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 17

 How Does Scripture Teach Us
to Redeem Psychology?

by David Powlison

It’s hard to redeem. psychological realities evidence no life-or-death

Things that need redeeming are complex— need for Jesus Christ. So the fact-collecting,
people, relationships, social conditions, and the theorizing, and counseling do not intrinsically
like. By definition, redemption tackles mixed up lead to true wisdom. The DNA of wisdom
cases: the odd jumble of rights and wrongs, contains a reckoning with God, but secularity
good intentions with unintended consequences, erases God and sin as forces to be reckoned with.
truths and falsehoods living together as On the surface, the secularity of the
one flesh, good potential partly fulfilled but psychologies seems a threat to Christian faith.
compromised by destructive tendencies. That’s But on closer inspection, secularity is rather like
how the Bible depicts fallen creation. That’s what the Wizard of Oz—it seems big and menacing,
the world is like. That’s what people are like. but in reality it’s vulnerable. Actual human
And God purposefully goes about redeeming beings always work the way the Bible says that
this fatal entanglement of good and bad. Jesus we work. Every psyche organizes around some
and Scripture redeem. And we also redeem, in life-defining love, purpose, meaning, trust, hope,
submission to the Word given to us in writing fear, identity. This defining center is either a
and coming to us in person. In our current fabricated lesser god or the self-revealing God.
historical moment, secular psychology is one of Secular psychological models fail to capture
these mixed cases in need of redeeming. this most significant reality. The effort to erase
“Psychology” is an umbrella term for the God-oriented or God-disoriented core of
numerous fields of study and practice. The the human psyche immediately creates blind
rules of the game are secular—though there is spots and fatal flaws, internal contradictions,
some mild tolerance for “spirituality” as a topic irresolvable disconnects between theory
of interest and a therapeutic aid. Psychological and reality. The disjunct creates wonderful
research, theory, and therapy is essentially an opportunities for redemption. Christian faith
endeavor to find out true things about people, to contains the good sense and good news of a
come to a true interpretation, and to help people comprehensive alternative. The points of contact
find true redemptions—while living in denial are everywhere.
of the omnipresent reality of sin and the actual Therefore, it is on us, the church, to “convert”
gift of mercies in Christ. To all appearances, their knowledge, theories, and therapies—as
part of loving them well. Such redeeming does
___________________________________________
David Powlison (M.Div., Ph.D.) teaches at CCEF and
everyone a world of good and produces a major
edits the “Journal of Biblical Counseling.” upgrade in the quality of conversation and

18 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

evangelization. We engage secular people most skills in knowing, in loving, and in speaking
effectively when we can show how Christian so as to catch the ear of strugglers.
faith makes better sense of all that they see (We may be relatively clumsy. O skillful
most clearly, care about most deeply, ask most God, make me more probing. Make
perceptively, and do most skillfully. Indeed, me more patient and kind. Make me
Psychology needs redeeming. No doubt, the more able to speak constructive words,
overwhelming majority of psychologists do not according to the need of the moment,
want to convert, but God is willing and able to that I might give grace to those who hear.)
overturn their willfulness—and he will use us in We gain much and lose nothing by being
the process. appropriately attentive to and appreciative of
their strengths.
To Redeem Calls for Careful Critical Thinking Identify what is wrong. Critical thinking
But how do we do it? For starters, to redeem also identifies what is wrong. This too must be
calls for careful critical thinking. We must learn underlined. Compromising syncretism only sees

On the surface, the secularity of the psychologies

seems a threat to Christian faith. But on closer
inspection, secularity is rather like the Wizard of Oz—it
seems big and menacing, but in reality it’s vulnerable.
to recognize and differentiate a variety of mixed the good, and does not produce redemption.
cases: ourselves, kith and kin, those we counsel, There is wrong in Psychology as in all the other
the church of Christ, the secular psychological mixed cases. When mastered by redemptive
endeavor. We must carefully disentangle the right purposes, constructive criticism will always
from the wrong—and rework the entirety. We engage wrong by offering something better. The
must assess everything by the right criteria. We facts that psychologists know by heart only really
must rethink the whole within a comprehensive make sense within a Christian understanding.
moral vision that makes true sense of it all. When theoreticians set out to interpret precious
Look for the good. To make true sense facts and to answer important questions, their
of the psychologies, our critical thinking must theories stumble precisely because they do not
intentionally look for the good. This has to be reckon with the reality of God, or the active
underlined. Sectarian contentiousness only presence of sin, or the meaning of suffering, or
sees the bad, and does not produce redemption. the omnipresence of judgment, or the invasion
But as in all the other mixed cases needing of mercies in the present ministry of Christ.
redemption, there is good in Psychology: Secularity bites its believers. Stable, judicious
• Secular researchers and clinicians know understanding proves elusive, because so much
reams of significant facts about people and of significant reality is excluded from view.
problems, about strengths and weaknesses. But a Christian understanding answers deep
(We may not have noticed or known some questions deeply, making sense of what is.
or many of those facts. In encountering When psychotherapists address the
psychological information, I’m listening, manifold sufferings and sins that impel people
so tell me anything and everything you to seek therapy or to read a self-help book, the
know about everybody and anybody.) same failure to reckon with God generates an
• Secular theories seek to answer crucial inescapable shallowness. Secular therapists
questions and address hard problems. describe troubled people so vividly! Their desire
(We may not have thought to ask those to help is so palpable! But their answers and
questions or address those problems. I solutions are always so disappointing. Given
want to take to heart hard questions that that the core human pathology is inertial self-
need answering.) centeredness, it is striking how those who testify
• Secular therapies often embody helpful to healing still sound sick. Me-Myself-and-I may

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become more self-aware, more self-accepting, Scripture presents a broader, deeper, and richer
more self-confident, more self-satisfied, and picture: a true understanding. To illustrate this,
more noble in ways of self-serving. But the we will look at Psalm 31 as a first-person case
pathology remains. study. Obviously a psalm is neither research, nor
Only a pointedly Christian psychotherapy theory, nor therapy. What it does, however, is
can aim for the revolutionary extraversion of capture the experience of an intensely alive and
faith and love. Only a Christian cure of souls can fully alert human being as he gives voice to what
even think to say, “The goals of our counseling he perceives, feels, thinks, needs, trusts, loves,
are the same for both of us in this conversation, and does. Listening in, we catch the bird on the
that each of us learns the love that comes from wing, the living person who needs explaining
a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere and needs help.
faith.” Counseling needs Christian DNA if it Albert Einstein famously commented
is to call people out of the death spiral of self- that all of science is nothing more than the

Counseling needs Christian DNA if it is to call people

out of the death spiral of self-preoccupation.
preoccupation. Redemption works so both refinement of everyday thinking. Psalm 31
parties might move (however haltingly) in the expresses everyday thinking (however intense,
direction of God and neighbor. condensed, and poetic). It is pretheoretical, if
To erase God from the study, explanation, you will. It portrays in straightforward manner
and repair of human beings has consequences. the depth and complexity of human personality
It entails a commitment to systematically and experience. It awaits the refinement of
misunderstand humankind, even while knowing science by presenting human facts that research
many valuable things. It entails a commitment ought to acknowledge, explore, and account for;
to mislead both oneself and others about what that theory must explain; that therapy ought to
most matters, even while accomplishing lesser address and produce.
goods. The repression of God-awareness is the Psalm 31 creates an overwhelming
universal obsessional neurosis of mankind (to impression of four things.
borrow and invert Freud’s pungent analysis). The first overwhelming impression is that a
Secularizing psychologists are included in person is front and center. This person expresses
that diagnosis, whether they are researchers, a living stream of feelings, perceptions, and
theorists, or therapists. And, mercy of mercies, consciousness: the human quality of sentience.
God willingly cures those who suffer the This person demonstrates well-grounded
universal obsessional neurosis. He uses us— intelligence, coherence, conscience, and
who are still being redeemed—to help others judgment: the human quality of sapience. Acute
find redemption. feelings and acute moral awareness co-operate.
Fair-minded judgment sees both the We are privileged to listen to a symphony of
good and the bad, and offers something emotional, phenomenological, relational, moral,
comprehensively better. We gain a point of and intellectual honesty. Consider how much
contact with non-Christian psychologists when humanity pours forth from merely 300 words (in
we wed something true and clear to the very the Hebrew original).
things they know, care about, pursue, and do. • lucid awareness of dire need
Redemption is our big picture calling. More • sharp cry for help
particularly, how does Christian faith engage the • deep reliance on the goodness and aid of
various facts, ideas, and activities that cluster another
under the heading Psychology? • apprehension at the prospect of being
shamed
To Redeem Calls for a True Understanding • fierce hatred of apostasy
of Persons
• joyous gratitude for mercies
Secularity construes persons too narrowly.
• tremendous grief and pain

20 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

 Psalm 31
For the choir director. A Psalm of David. But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD,
I say,“ You are my God.”
In You, O LORD, I have taken refuge; My times are in Your hand;
Let me never be ashamed; Deliver me from the hand of my enemies
In Your righteousness deliver me. and from those who persecute me.
Incline Your ear to me, rescue me quickly; Make Your face to shine upon Your servant;
Be to me a rock of strength, Save me in Your lovingkindness.
A stronghold to save me. Let me not be put to shame, O
For You are my rock and my fortress; LORD, for I call upon You;
For Your name’s sake You will Let the wicked be put to shame,
lead me and guide me. let them be silent in Sheol.
You will pull me out of the net which Let the lying lips be mute,
they have secretly laid for me, Which speak arrogantly against the righteous
For You are my strength. With pride and contempt.
Into Your hand I commit my spirit;
You have ransomed me, O How great is Your goodness,
LORD, God of truth. Which You have stored up for
those who fear You,
I hate those who regard vain idols, Which You have wrought for those
But I trust in the LORD. who take refuge in You,
I will rejoice and be glad in Before the sons of men!
Your lovingkindness, You hide them in the secret place of Your
Because You have seen my affliction; presence from the conspiracies of man;
You have known the troubles of my soul, You keep them secretly in a shelter
And You have not given me over from the strife of tongues.
into the hand of the enemy; Blessed be the LORD,
You have set my feet in a large place. For He has made marvelous His
lovingkindness to me in a besieged city.
Be gracious to me, O LORD, As for me, I said in my alarm,
for I am in distress; “I am cut off from before Your eyes”;
My eye is wasted away from grief, Nevertheless You heard the
my soul and my body also. voice of my supplications
For my life is spent with sorrow When I cried to You.
And my years with sighing;
My strength has failed because of my iniquity, O love the LORD, all you His godly ones!
And my body has wasted away. The LORD preserves the faithful
Because of all my adversaries, I And fully recompenses the proud doer.
have become a reproach, Be strong and let your heart take courage,
Especially to my neighbors, All you who hope in the LORD.
And an object of dread to my acquaintances;
Those who see me in the street flee from me. New American Standard Bible (NASB)
I am forgotten as a dead man, out of mind;
I am like a broken vessel.
For I have heard the slander of many,
Terror is on every side;
While they took counsel together against me,
They schemed to take away my life

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 21

 • complete helplessness not a soliloquy. This is a conversation about
• bone-weary sorrow things that matter, not self-talk to bolster
• awareness of personal sinfulness and self-confidence. This is a conversation of
culpability consequence, not a stream of cognitions. Sane
• sense of abandonment and insignificance psychological experience does not take place
• candid and justified aggression within the confines of an encapsulated psyche.
• quivering terror David’s utterly candid experience finds voice in
• intimate sense of enfolding safety relationship to this Most Significant Other. His
• claustrophobic awareness of threat personal psychology is wholly interpersonal. His
• distress at being encircled by deadly foes psyche operates in God’s direction and out loud.
• settled trust He talks with God, relates to God, thinks in terms
• hearty courage of God, feels vis-à-vis God, acts because of God.
• love that considers and encourages others A true psychology will be attuned to how
This is no collection of theoretical human human beings are meant to live in conversational
responses. The kaleidoscope of one man’s relationship with God about the things that
experience lives before us, captivates us, most matter. To live in the God-suppressing
bids to remake us into this likeness. The solipsisms of inner life or social life is madness.
variety is electrifying. Yet we hear one A fourth overwhelming impression is
psychologically coherent voice. A person is on that David is fully engaged situationally. He
display psychologically. is alive to time, place, and circumstances. The
A true psychology will be attuned to the exigency, contingency, threat, and opportunity
sentience and sapience of actual persons. of the present moment matter. Looking to the
A second overwhelming impression is that anticipated future and considering the past are
this person is fully aware of the presence of a both crucial to how he is fully alive to present
Most Significant Other. Someone else matters difficulties.1 The immediate enmity of people
supremely. To be human is to depend on him. out to harm him arouses a storm of reactions.
To be human is to live at a moral divide: either He hates. He is afraid. He is in distress. He is
in friendship or in enmity, either humbled or also deeply cognizant of and concerned for his
proud, either as servant or as adversary. Life and friends. David is a chorister, not a soloist. He is
death play out in terms of who this LORD God one person among a multitude of people who
is, what he does, and the moral quality of how know God, fear God, take refuge in him, love
we relate to him. He is the only place of safety him, set their hopes on him. David reaches out
and refuge in a world of troubles. He willingly on behalf of his fellows, and Psalm 31 expresses
rescues from trouble because he is good. He the profound logic of how personal faith moves
leads and guides because of who he is. He hears to interpersonal love.
cries for help and acts to intervene for the needy. A true psychology will be attuned to
He is the strength of those powerless to rescue the significance of the present moment and
themselves. He is characterized by loving- situation—reflecting on the past and anticipating
kindness and generosity. He is trustworthy. He the future.
will destroy those who do what is wrong by A true psychology will be attuned to the
ignoring him and by harming neighbors, those profound division in the human race between
who live as “enemies” of love for God and for those who serve empty gods and those who serve
God’s people. He is fiercely protective of those the LORD God. No universalist psychology can
who need him, trust him, love him. This God be true, because at the deepest core of a person
is the dominating psychological reality in the one does not encounter a universal human
sanity of Psalm 31. nature but a profound difference in ultimate
A true psychology will be attuned to the loyalties.
presence of this Most Significant Other, by A true psychology will be attuned to how
whom we live and against whom we perish. personal life and corporate life seamlessly
Here is the third overwhelming impression integrate. No“individual psychology”can be true,
of the psychology revealed in Psalm 31. It because persons are meant to live out a corporate
is entirely relational. This is a conversation, identity. Psalm 31’s drama of the human psyche

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portrays the goal of full humanness: a responsive, the varieties of God-suppressing experience
responsible person lives acutely aware of the that more typically characterize humankind).
living God, in a vividly honest relationship, fully Psychotherapy ought to recreate men and
engaged in the immediate situation, and in women in the image of Psalm 31.
solidarity with others.
The secular psychological endeavor has To Redeem We Must Address Causality in
Human Behavior
been plagued since its inception by the tendency
It is worth noting that the Bible’s portrayal of
to depersonalize the very persons that are the
psychological riches is neither scientific (e.g.,
object of study. A thoughtful mid-twentieth
research psychology), nor theoretical (e.g.,
century psychiatrist called out his colleagues
attachment theory), nor psychotherapeutic (e.g.,
about this tendency:
an Irvin Yalom), nor literary (e.g., a Dostoevsky).
The reader can see why psychiatry is so
The psychological riches revealed are “by
often charged with being reductive. For
the way,” a secondary spin-off from primary
while the creatures described . . . may bear
purposes. By revealing the true God in relation
some resemblance to animals or to steam
to his creatures, the Bible primarily intends
engines or robots or electronic brains,
to give us a new orientation and direction.
they do not sound like people. They are in
Therefore, in a sense, Psalm 31 performs a
fact constructs of theory, more humanoid
psychotherapeutic intervention. It changes
than human. . . . It is just those qualities
you, if you have ears to hear. This has huge
most distinctively human which seem to
implications for how Christian faith redeems the
have been omitted. It is a matter of some
modern psychologies.
irony, if one turns from psychology to one
Why do people do, think, and feel as they
of Dostoevsky’s novels, to find that no
do? The rest of this article will discuss this critical
matter how wretched, how puerile, or how
foundational issue that bridges research, theory,
dilapidated his characters may be, they all
and therapy. Causality is the Holy Grail, the Great
possess more humanity than the ideal man
Question. And the question of causality offers a
who lives in the pages of psychiatry.2
continual point of contact in the redemption of
A true psychology possesses and expresses
Psychology.
full humanity.
The explanation of human behavior
Fyodor Dostoevsky is rightly regarded as
orients research psychology, defines the task of
the first great psychological novelist because
personality theory, and undergirds therapeutic
of the vivid humanity of his characters.
interventions. In his popular textbook Psychology,
Psychological models ought to be at least as
David Myers defines what he considers to be
good as Dostoevsky. But Psalm 31 is even better.
“Psychology’s Big Issues”:
We hear a lucid awareness of personal need and
The biggest and most persistent issue
faith, and a perfect correspondence between
concerns the impact of biological nature
situational realities, psychological responses, and
and experienced nurture, the relative
the personal presence of God. In comparison,
contributions of biology and experience.
psychological research, theories, and therapies
This nature-nurture debate is long-
do indeed seem more humanoid than human.
standing. Over and over again we will
As secularity juggles to locate explanations in
see the nature-nurture tension dissolve:
external variables (genetics, personal history,
Nurture works on what nature endows.3
and the like) and gropes in the dark about the
You might want to read that again. What
deeper dynamics, it loses its grip on the actual
is missing?
humanness in the persons under consideration.
It is revealing that in identifying the biggest
It is just those qualities most distinctively human
and most persistent question for understanding
which seem to have been omitted.
people, David Myers leaves out any contribution
Research psychology ought to acknowledge
of the person. The great goal of psychological
and explore the psychological realities evident
research and knowledge becomes the search
in Psalm 31. Personality theory ought to be able
for situational and bodily influences that explain
to explain the experience of Psalm 31 (as well
who a person is, and how a person thinks, feels,
as reckon with the moral divide, and explain

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 23

acts, and treats others. The psyche itself is not an nicely captures it: “The genes load the gun, and
essential, decisive factor in the operations of the the environment pulls the trigger.”
psyche. This is a massive, systemic shortcoming. That last paragraph could have the ring
It is as if a portrait artist did not believe in eyes, of cultural triumph for a worldview that
or a musician did not believe in middle-C. They shifts responsibility from persons and onto
might produce portraits or music after a fashion, influences—except that nobody actually lives
but in the end what’s missing and unaccounted as if this were so. Let me demonstrate with four
for will be more noticeable than what’s present simple examples.
and active. First, for a number of years I enjoyed
No doubt, the strengths and weaknesses watching the last episode of Survivor each
of our bodies matter: God has made each of us season. Humanness was on full display, and the
to live as a physically-embodied creature. No proceedings could be quite volatile! Contestants
doubt, the vast host of environmental influences vented outrage at those who lied, manipulated,
for good or bad matter: God has placed each and betrayed trust. They voiced tender affection
one of us to live as a situationally-embedded for those who exhibited human decency.
creature. Bravo that research should seek to Without fail, contestants treated each other
trace the innumerable significant variables that as morally responsible, continually sizing up
influence us as thinking, feeling, moral beings. character. “You’re a jerk” or “You’re such a nice
These influences variously affect us: tempting person” were instinctive. “Oh, your genes made
us to turn to the dark side or encouraging us to you do it” or “You must have had an unhappy
live in the light of faith working through love. childhood” would have been wholly implausible,
These influences define our opportunities and dismissive, and condescending.
limitations, our abilities and disabilities, our Second, I worked for three years on the in-
sorrows and felicities, within which we either patient ward of a psychiatric hospital. In theory,
flourish or perish before the one true and a patient’s mental illness and destructive family
living God. These influences describe the God- experiences were the root cause. But in the
arranged stage on which you and I make the reality of community life on the ward, patients,
choices that define our lives and character. All of like staff, were treated as responsible human
us should want to know about factors that exert beings both by staff and by other patients. You
influence. But research into these factors cannot were held accountable for how you treated
finally account for the decisive person. Though others, for the choices you made, for whether
each of us lives within a world of influences, you kept your word. If you lost your temper
our obedience or disobedience to God’s two and acted out, there were consequences. If you
great commandments is not determined by talked nonsense, others disagreed with you and
those influences. It is out of the heart that both did some reality testing. If you showed kindness,
wisdom and folly spring. others were grateful and liked you for it. The
Because the most persistent issue driving quality of your humanness—wisdom or folly, in
the enterprise of psychological research has the biblical sense—was the decisive factor.
been to assess the relative contributions of Third, if nature and nurture are really the
biology and experience, the explanations that decisive variables, then the human fascination
emerge from research always have an amoral with literature, film, art, music, and history
logic. They shift personal responsibility away is inexplicable. The “arts and humanities” are
from the person and onto other causal factors. about human beings. And what makes human
They discount the human factor so evident in beings interesting is what they do with the body
Dostoevsky and Psalm 31. They dehumanize us. and with the circumstances in which they live.
These assumptions trickle down into everyday We care about courage, or hypocrisy, or evil, or
life. For example, in discussing personal and love, or betrayal, or arrogance, or humility, or
interpersonal problems, it has become a achievement, or futility, or joy. We care about
cultural reflex to assign final cause significance things that are not finally caused by physiology
to experiences in personal history and/or to or circumstance.
genetic predisposition. A catch phrase from the Fourth, your life is proof that people are
treatment of addictions and eating disorders more than nurture working on what nature

24 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

endows.You are most likely a combination of the expectations, desires, fears, schemata, a reality
good guys and the bad guys on display both in map. But they sidestep the question of how
Dostoevsky and in the psalms! to interpret this fact, because intentions can’t
Christian theology coheres with daily life. be measured. They cannot understand the
It overthrows views of causation that neuter significance of the very thing that raises the
life of significant choice and moral significance. most important psychological question of all.
From every page the Bible breathes forth the These are the core issues of personhood. But
significance of daily life. Even the smallest actions responsible choice and commitment are wild-
and gestures, even the invisible inner current of cards, not susceptible to scientific method,
thoughts, feelings, and attitudes expresses how analysis, and explanation. Bell curves can portray
life is a profoundly moral enterprise with life the range and frequency of typical choices in a
or death consequences. So Christian faith has population, but the actual choices of any one
much to say about how scientific research both individual remain opaque when nature and/or
seeks out and interprets its wondrous profusion nurture are the only causal factors that count
of facts. as explanations.
For centuries, theologians and philosophers 2. Personality theorists go a step further and
have recognized the significance of nature and try to figure out the inner workings. They seek to
nurture factors. (And they would appreciate explain what can’t be seen about the person. But,
the incalculable quantities of new information because they repress the deep divide in ultimate
generated by the modern scientific enterprise.) allegiances, they inevitably posit some unitary
They discussed the relative influence of these configuration of hard-wired motives: perhaps
factors under headings such as “material a hierarchy of needs, or conflicting instincts, or
cause” (physiology) and “efficient cause” (social conditionable drives, or some one particularized
experience and other situational factors). But need for ____ (e.g., love, achievement, self-
they wisely located “final cause” elsewhere— esteem, meaning, healthy attachments, sense
in the interplay between the person and God. of personal efficacy, etc.). These motivational
Throughout its history, research psychology patterns and energies are seen as givens to
has functionally treated nature and nurture work with, to adjust, to rebalance, because the
as if they were in fact “final causes.” The instinctive configuration of longings of the
information might occasionally be spectacular human heart cannot be changed.
and rich (though most of it is commonplace). 3. Psychotherapists take a further step. They
But the interpretation fails the tests of reality are pragmatic (as the staff was on the inpatient
and Scripture. psychiatric ward). They hope to change what is
What is the actual contribution of the troubling and destructive, so they must grapple
PERSON to what he or she does? That is the hand-to-hand with what makes a person tick,
biggest and most persistent question that needs whether or not they understand what that
answering. This is the great lacuna in research is. Typically, they assert the possibility of life-
psychology. The intricate dance between our determining, volitional control.
bodies and our situational context may be • the ability to make “better” choices, more
insolubly complex, but it is relatively simple personally satisfying, or more socially
and accessible in comparison to the abyss and acceptable, or more authentic, creating a
ambivalence of human desires and intentions. cycle of empowerment
Christian faith is uniquely strong regarding • the power of self-talk to manage moods
this most persistent psychological issue. and behavioral choices
When other psychologies take up the task of • the impact of constructive interpersonal
understanding the person per se—the psyche in interactions to reshape experience and
our psycho-socio-somatic whole—they misread actions
people in one of three typical ways: • the power of insight to open up unimagined
1. Scientific researchers offer bare possibilities for choice
acknowledgment of a fact: all human beings They believe that the human will, though beset
operate with intentions. So they mention the by influences, is significantly free, responsible,
existence of internal motives, goals, hopes, and capable of decisive action. Though your

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genes might partly load the gun, and though Maker, final Judge, and only Savior (Heb 4:12–
your environment might tell you where to aim 16). Why you do what you do always comes
and might tug on the trigger, you are the one down to you as a moral agent. In the decisive
who aims and who pulls the trigger. You can matters of life and death, good and evil, love
choose to be different. Decades ago, Freud and hate, courage and fear, wise and foolish,
articulated the philosophy that continues to this hope and despair, the final cause of you is not
day: “We seek to strengthen the patient out of something happening to you.
his own resources.” 4 2. Unlike the personality theorists, Christian
When we think theologically and truth reasons that the deep motivating impulses
redemptively, we come to a fundamentally of the human heart are not givens, but can and
different reading of the psyche—and we must be radically changed. In fact, two competing
discover a fountain of gratitude for God’s motivational complexes exist, not one universal
personal intervention. It is not a matter of template. The first is only found fully in Jesus.

We are pressed as Christians to fashion a distinctive

psychology—just as every other psychology posits
its distinctive interpretation of human experience.
uncovering a Bible verse that critiques the He operates differently from everyone who ever
prevalent motivation theories. Such a verse lived, and his way of operating expresses how
doesn’t exist, because these theories didn’t yet a fully sane human being ought to work. The
exist. But it is a matter of thinking Christianly— motives, emotions, cognitions, and behavior in
comprehensively and coherently—about why Psalm 31 are a different dance step, inexplicable
people do what they do. Thinking biblically is by any of the personality theories. The second
practical theological work, bringing to bear “the motivational complex is found either fully or
whole of Scripture” in a fresh way. Such work partially in everyone else. Human motives
builds on the wisdom of practical theologians instinctively obey a perverse self-referential logic:
through the ages. For example, Augustine’s reinforced by nature, nurture, choice, habit, and
seminal analysis of false and true loves has obsession. But the desires of the wise (witnessed
abiding relevance.5 So do Calvin’s discussions of everywhere in Scripture in hundreds of prayers,
how secular wisdom misfires when it comes to songs, and stories) differ qualitatively from the
making sense of our desires.6 And these works desires of the foolish (also witnessed everywhere
demand that we reason afresh. The questions at in Scripture). And yet the wise have a peculiarly
stake are today’s questions, never before asked divided soul. Part of wisdom is knowing and
in quite this way, never before answered in the wrestling with the folly that coexists with and
ways they need answering. It takes hard and contradicts the resident wisdom.
careful thought about information, questions, 3. Unlike the pragmatic people-helpers,
points of view, and controversies that have arisen Christian truth reasons that human will is not
only in the past 150 years. It calls for pointing free when it comes to the decisive life and death
out cases of misinformation and disinformation choices. With good reason, Luther’s personal
that claim the mantle of science and truth. It favorite among all his books was The Bondage of
calls for alertness to the inner contradictions, the Will. Luther thought Christianly, and knew
the blind spots, the fatal flaws. Here are three himself Christianly, and he wept over who he
contributions that theological reasoning makes knew himself to be. He knew what all the psalms
toward answering the Big Question of causality. know: unless God hears me and intervenes
1. Unlike the scientific researchers, Christian mercifully, I will die. Christian faith knows that
truth reasons that the human factor is a decisive by nature we are psychologically enslaved to
element in the complex of final causation. The instinctive desires of body and mind (there is
thoughts and intentions of every heart interact “madness in our hearts” per Ecclesiastes 9:3).
with him with whom we have to do, our true And Luther knew something far more important

26 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

than accurate self-knowing. By the intervening and previously unimagined skills are brought
grace of our merciful Redeemer we are truly into your repertoire. Psychologists themselves
forgiven. We are beloved. We are brought from come to faith, not simply as a matter of private
death to life. We are included. We are decisively piety and personal morals, but by discovering
and progressively set free to want other things the full-orbed Christian faith that touches and
than what used to obsess us. We are given rearranges all things psychological. I know this
meaningful work to do. A secular psychotherapy, because that is the world from which I came
by definition, excludes such self-knowledge, into Christ.
such struggle, such transformation, and such joy. We redeem psychology as we learn to
So, to think Christianly about psychology think theologically and redemptively about
brings a reorienting perspective to psychological issues of life and death importance. We redeem
information, theories, and skills. We are psychology as we bring Scripture and Christian
pressed as Christians to fashion a distinctive faith to bear in the psychological work of self-
psychology—just as every other psychology knowing, of knowing others, of making sense of
posits its distinctive interpretation of human our lives, and of participating in transformation—
experience. We are pressed by God, by the as individuals and all together—into the image
needs of our time and place, by our own need, of Jesus.
to articulate a coherent and comprehensive Beloved, we are God’s children now, and
Christian gaze in order to rightly interpret all what we will be has not yet appeared; but we
psychological facts and experiences. We are know that when he appears we shall be like him,
pressed to counsel in fidelity to what we know because we shall see him as he is. (1 John 3:2)
to be true. Knowing is for living, and for giving _______________________________________
away to others in counseling and in all other 1 A thousand years later, this psalm appropriately gave
voice to Jesus’ last words before death—“Into your
forms of ministry.
hands I commit my spirit” (Ps 31:5; Luke 23:46). Jesus’
psychology, too, was located: fully engaged in the
Take up the Call to Redeem Psychology
present moment with an eye to both past and future.
What does it look like for psychology to be 2 Leslie Farber,“Martin Buber and Psychiatry,”Psychiatry:
redeemed? Not a shred of valid information A Journal for the Study of Interpersonal Processes, 19 (1956):
is lost, no skills in loving are forfeited, no hard 109-120.
questions are ducked. Rather, whatever was 3 David Myers, Psychology, 5th edition (New York:
known is enriched and changed by being seen Worth Publishers, 1998), 6.
4 Sigmund Freud, The Question of Lay Analysis
in a new and true light—and reams of previously
5 This is the major theme of St. Augustine’s Confessions.
neglected information become available for the 6 For example, John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian
first time. Whatever was done skillfully is taken Religion, John T. McNeill, ed. (Philadelphia: The
to an entirely different level when it is embedded Westminster Press, 1960; org. 1559), II:2:xxiv, 284.
in the purposes of Christ’s redemptive love—

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 27

 Counselors as Missionaries 1

by Sam R. Williams

“Christianity is missionary by its very nature, or to evangelism and discipleship, but also to
it denies its very raison d’etre.”2 —David J. Bosch social engagement and public life, and to the
various vocational callings of the Christian life.
The counseling that Christians do should be a part It includes Christian sociocultural interaction—
of the culture-crossing mission of God—always our dealings in the arts, the sciences, and the
moving toward and into any part of this world public square.3 Christian mission will culminate
that excludes God from the human equation. someday when every artist, every scientist,
Any form of Christian counseling, to the extent and every counselor bows before Jesus Christ,
that it deserves to bear the name of Christ, to the confessing that he is Lord over their lives
extent that it deserves to be called biblical, must and disciplines.
not neglect the Great Commandments, the We can view the mental health system as
gospel, or Christ’s Great Commission. I contend a distinct subculture within modern western
that Christians who counsel—of all sorts and culture. Like all cultures, it is characterized by
of all backgrounds—have been missiologically distinctive customs and practices, a common
myopic. As a result of this myopia, we have failed language (with various dialects), and a dominant
to speak prophetically into the mental health worldview. This worldview comprises categories,
subculture. Each group has its reasons, but we concepts, plausibility structures, methodologies,
all share in this failure. meta-narratives, and mini-narratives. Like all
This article will use the term “mission,” and cultures, the mental health system forms a
other words semantically related to it, in the society. It is composed of leaders and followers,
large, God-centered sense. Mission is the activity producers and consumers, like-minded
of God in his world: the Missio Dei. He acts citizens who co-operate by means of an overt
through his people to fulfill his mission. Mission or covert consensus, with both written and
is defined, energized, directed, and ultimately unwritten rules.
accomplished by God. The breadth and depth This particular subculture is distinctly
of God’s mission, and then ours, is established secular. Its practitioners and their concepts,
by the breadth and depth of his redemption. methods, and social structures have been
Mission is a holistic notion, referring not only notoriously and self-consciously nonreligious or
pagan. The founders of this subculture—Freud,
___________________________________________ Jung and Adler, and the many who have followed
Sam Williams (M.A., Ph.D.) is Professor of Counseling at
them—were acutely aware that their developing
Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest,
North Carolina. profession was competing with and displacing

28 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

pastors and churches in the understanding and souls and societies and legitimate fields of
care of the human soul.4 Their secular gospels investigation (i.e., the psychology of religion,
have enjoyed more than a century of secular and neuroscientific research on the brain and
success. But reality and lasting success are God- spiritual belief).6
centered, not secular. And the most vexing “Spiritual” and religiously-loaded forms of
human problem, the sin that disorders every psychotherapy (e.g., Buddhist, Hindu, feminist,
human soul, needs a divine solution: Jesus Christ. gay-affirmative, transpersonal, and new age) exist
Since Christianity is “missionary by its very alongside all the other “scientific” therapeutic
nature,” there are good reasons to view the offerings. Increasingly, Christian approaches to
mental health subculture as a mission field— counseling are no longer the scorned or merely
an unreached people group. I contend that our tolerated stepchild, but instead we are allowed
failure to recognize this particular subculture to have a place in the new mental health family.
as a mission field has impaired our impact It is even becoming more common for
on a group of people in desperate need of health insurers to include a category for Christian
distinctively Christian counseling that reflects counselors on their preferred-providers list. Early
the truths and graces of the gospel. Therefore, in entrants in this re-enchantment of the mental
this article I will: 1) provide a brief appraisal of health subculture could be seen in the late 20th
the current state of affairs in both the secular and century in the inclusion of 12 Step AA/recovery
Christian mental health subcultures, 2) propose programs, Christian mental health clinics, and
constructive contextualization as a missional hospital programs like New Life, Minirth-Meier,
strategy that would increase our impact, and 3) and Rapha.
close with a call to action. In other words, missiologically speaking,
the mental health field is no longer a completely
The Mental Health Profession: A Culture closed country. It has begun to open the door,
in Transition
recasting itself as tolerant and inclusive of all
It is odd that the mental health profession,
religions and moralities. Increasingly, therapists,
whose original intent was to understand and
doctors, and patients no longer have to check their
cure the mind or soul, lost touch with its original
gods at the door before entering. I recently met
objective. One can choose from 10,000 examples.
with the Licensed Professional Counselors board
Freud rejected the spiritual dimensions—the
member in my state who oversees educational
place of the soul’s deepest woes and distortions.
requirements for the development of a license-
Jung went mystical, Eastern, Gnostic, and finally
eligible track for students at the seminary where
nonsensical. Skinner’s radical behaviorism
I teach. I was sure we could meet their course
ducked all the big questions. Cognitive
requirements, but wary about the willingness of
psychology took its cues from information
the licensing board to accept our degree, since it is
processing theories of computer science.
an M.A. in “Biblical Counseling.” To my surprise,
Biological psychiatry and managed care urged
he responded to my question about our degree
people to “listen to Prozac.” 5 The troubled soul
designation without hesitation: “No problem.
that bears the image of God, is oppositional
We’ve accepted stranger degrees.”
to God, yet is redeemable by God, never went
Of course, we must continue to expect
away. But secularity squashes the very things
that the cross of Christ will still be offensive.
that most need explaining and addressing.
We already see uniquely post-modern
Ignoring the soul has not lasted, however.
versions of intolerance that aim to censure or
In the 21st century, the mental health profession
exclude Christian perspectives by calling them
realized they had lost their mind and began
“oppressive” or “intolerant.” Nonetheless, it is
looking for it again. Postmodern turns in
a new day, and one that calls us to re-evaluate
philosophy and pluralistic developments in
both the field and ourselves. Is there ripe
culture have provided the context for a revaluing
opportunity for missionaries to enter this once-
of the soul and spirit. Religion and spirituality
closed country? I think so, yes. How should
are now recognized by both the American
we proceed? Evangelical missiologists provide
Psychological Association and the American
insights that help us in this task of reevaluation
Psychiatric Association as a palliative for sick
and redeployment.

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 29

The Mission: The Subversion and Redemption redemption, not because their insights and
of Secular Psychology intentions are entirely wrong, but because
Up to this point, most Christian counseling has they are fundamentally wrong about the most
been modern and imitative in its methodology. important things.
It is modern in that it has granted secular science Our goal should not be simply to obtain a
functional parity with Scripture. It is imitative in seat at the psychological table. We should invite
that it has parroted secular methodologies and diners at the Mental Health Café to another
institutions. Contemplate for a moment how place, to a banquet dinner with fare beyond
different you might expect a psychology to be their wildest dreams. Here the Host offers living
if our Christian faith were the guiding meta- bread and living water, and even life beyond this
narrative: mortal life. A retooling of C. S. Lewis’ inimitable
1. The human, psyche (soul) and body, was challenge in The Weight of Glory is apropos:
originally created to be ruled and loved by We are half-hearted counselors, tinkering with
a Good King. In his perfect wisdom, the Freud and Rogers and Beck when infinite joy
King created and governs everything in the is offered us by Another Counselor, like an
universe. ignorant child who wants to go on making mud
2. The Good King created these embodied pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what
souls to worship, serve, love, and follow him. is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We
He made them significantly like himself so are far too easily pleased.7
that they could do this meaningfully and If the Christian faith is intrinsically a
freely. missionary movement and the prevailing
3. These souls, though designed for love and mental health establishment is part of what the
loyalty to their King, instead betrayed and New Testament calls “the world” or “this present
rebelled against him. This rebelliousness evil age” (Gal 1:4), then failures at the interface
was contagious and became a family trait, between a Christian psychology and the mental
so that now every person suffers from the health culture are significant and worth our
same deadly contrarian disease. consideration. After all, our theology, if it is true
4. The only lasting cure for this epidemic to the nature of God, must move out and into
comes from the Good King himself, who this world with bold love and merciful judgment.
for love and glory sent his Son to live with Christian or biblical counseling that is insular
the diseased, personally entering into their denies its very essence, its raison d’etre. And,
plight. In doing so, he willingly catches their the question of the day is not what can we learn
deadly virus. The Good King’s Son initially from secular psychology (and we can learn),
appeared to succumb to the disease, but but instead how does Christ answer the big
instead overcomes it and rises and reigns, questions of life, for which the psychotherapies
inaugurating a process by which he actually can only offer palliative care. Because of God’s
reverses and eventually cures the disease. special grace, we have more to teach them than
5. This cure is available, free of charge, to they have to teach us. This is how I understand
“whosoever will” simply acknowledge that our current situation. How should we go
they are hopelessly sick, and will then trust forward? I would like to propose a strategy of
and follow the Good King and his Son. purposefully redemptive contextualization.
This Christian narrative subverts the
foundational narratives and presuppositions of Contextualization: In the World but Not of It
the secular psychologies, rather than offering We must suffer from no delusions about
up junior versions of their non-Christian the difficulties in teaching the world about
systems. Our strange and wonderful narrative Christ and his impact on how we think about
confronts the omission of spiritual realities in people and problems. Contextualization is a
their psychotherapies with a divine diagnosis missiological concept that helpfully describes
(of both their systems and their patients). It the pathogens that have impaired both
brings supernatural cure for souls. From the Christian psychologists and biblical counselors
perspective of our definitive story, the secular from having a wider impact. Contextualization
psychotherapies are desperately in need of also commends a cure for our shortcomings.

30 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

Simply stated, contextualization is the effective for understanding and order, but “No” to their
communication of the legitimate implications of impersonal and Christ-less definition.
the gospel (broadly understood as God’s Word Lesslie Newbigin’s model for communication
in Christ and the Scriptures) for a given situation. of the gospel follows a similar pattern:
Christian contextualization can be thought of as 1. The communication has to be in the
the effort to communicate the message of God in language of the receptor culture. It has to
a way that is faithful to Scripture and meaningful be such that it accepts, at least provisionally,
to respondents in their context.8 Scripture the way of understanding things that is
meaningfully applied always addresses people’s embodied in that language; if it does not do
deepest questions and concerns, while taking so, it will simply be an unmeaning sound
into account their personal and cultural context. that cannot change anything.
Contextualization is a fruitful concept that 2. However, if it is truly the communication of
has New Testament roots. In Acts 17:16–34, Luke the gospel, it will call radically into question

Secular psychotherapies are desperately in need of

redemption, not because their insights and intentions
are entirely wrong, but because they are fundamentally
wrong about the most important things.
describes how St. Paul engages the Athenians that way of understanding embodied in
on their turf and in their terms. He winsomely the language it uses. If it is truly revelation,
commends the Athenians for their religiosity it will involve contradiction and call for
and even quotes their philosophers and poets. conversion, for a radical metanoia, a U-turn
Paul is first concerned with establishing a point of the mind.
of contact and gaining a hearing. Initially, he 3. Finally, this radical conversion can never be
inoffensively reframes their idolatry as “objects the achievement of any human persuasion,
of worship.” But he does not stop there. He however eloquent. It can only be the
finds another conceptual bridge in their altar work of God. True conversion, therefore,
to the unknown theos (god). With these, he which is the proper end toward which the
both challenges their false beliefs and, at the communication of the gospel looks, can
same time, offers genuine fulfillment for the only be a work of God, a kind of miracle—
ambiguous desires of their heart. Paul’s method not natural but supernatural.9
of contextualization begins with a “Yes” to their Newbigin has captured the strategy used in Acts
intractable impulse to worship, which he links 17 and John 1.
to God’s creational design, but ends with a David Bosch, another missiologist, also
clear “No” as he confronts their ignorance and wrote about the reinterpretation of life in
pleads with them to repent of their misdirected, uniquely Christian terms.
vacuous worship. Paul proclaims both the “No” Christians find their true identity when they
and the “Yes”of the Gospel. are involved in mission, in communicating to
Saint John the evangelist employs a similar others a new way of life, a new interpretation
strategy in the beginning of his gospel. He lifts of reality and of God, and in committing
the impersonal, philosophical (and religious) themselves to the liberation and salvation of
term logos out of the Greek culture of his others. A missionary community is one that
hearers and then reframes and redefines it in understands itself as being both different
distinctively personal, Christ-centered terms. from and committed to its environment; it
John strategically co-opts both their terminology exists within its context in a way which is
and their desire for reason, logic, and truth. He both winsome and challenging.10
redeploys what he finds in them in order to Biblical and Christian counselors find their true
teach that Christ is the Truth and the Way and identity when they are involved in mission.11
the Life. He says “Yes” to their God-given desire In terms of my proposal, we should all have

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 31

some sense of being on mission to the mental God’s Word and our world are susceptible
health subculture. of carrying traffic in both directions…
Counselors on mission must “learn the most of the traffic has been moving in the
language of the receptor culture” and then seek wrong direction. Twentieth-century people
a distinctively Christian engagement with the have allowed the cognitive constraints and
mental health profession, and its academy and the psychological conventions of our own
institutions, in a way that is both winsome and day to limit what the Bible may say. This
challenging. Our aim is to communicate a new reverses the proper situation. It is the Bible
way of life, a new interpretation of reality. We that deserves to prescribe the cognitive
must not allow the prevailing secular paradigms horizon for the twentieth century, just as it
(whether psychoanalytic, cognitive-behavioral, has been for every century. Much more than
family systems, neurological, etc.) to provide the Bible, it is the twentieth century that
the primary cues or structures for our own needs to be demythologized.13
paradigm. Of course, for the glory of God, we Proper awareness of the risk of over-
should acknowledge how his common grace contextualization protects us from assimilating
sometimes shines through these systems. But secular theories and methods, and from
finally we persuade them with the truth, beauty, accommodating to the secular mental health
and hope of the gospel of a full-orbed Christian system to the point that our counsel loses its
perspective in counseling. Our paradigm turns missional and prophetic force. Integrationists
their best observations, insights, and skills inside must ask themselves whether they are
out, offering a radically different interpretation. disseminating anything more than common
We pray that eyes would be opened to see the grace and secular solutions. Is the Word of God
glory that shines only in the face of a psychology normative and the Son of God transformative in
that delights in our Good King, the Creator and our counsel? If not, we have over-contextualized.
Redeemer of souls. The second risk of contextualization is
under-contextualization. Biblical counseling
The Risks of Contextualization tends to suffer from this. Biblical counselors
We must be aware, however, as perceptive have been developing distinctively biblical
missionaries traversing cultural boundaries, concepts and methods for thirty-five years, but
that contextualization is not a risk-free process. some are separatists in their attitudes toward
Another benefit of the missiological concept the mental health world and “secular” research.
of contextualization is that it alerts us to two Some counselors view any form of cooperation
problems that often arise in the conversation with the mental health establishment as worldly
between faith and culture, and, in our case, capitulation and ungodly compromise. As a
between the Christian faith’s psychology and result, meaningful and persuasive interaction
the other psychologies. does not occur.
The first problem is over-contextualization, Biblical counselors need to ask themselves
which is essentially syncretism and is found whether they are failing to disseminate words
most frequently in integrationism. The risk in of life to people who need to hear. Is the Word
integrationism is accommodating a Christian of God normative enough and the Son of God
understanding of people and problems in transformative enough to engage in meaningful
such a way that biblical truths are denied. conversation with secular people? If not, we
Instead, we ought to take possession of secular have under-contextualized.
understandings of people and problems, So there are two dangers. Either the
transforming them by Christian truth, and secular mental health establishment calls the
thereby making that understanding new.12 shots, or it is a closed country that we do not
Mark Noll and David Wells describe the take the risk of entering. Many integrationist
potential risks that arise in the process of mental health professionals water down their
building bridges between cultures. message and methods to the point that they
This interpretive journey from Word to are functionally secular, while many biblical
world is fraught with peril even as it is counselors retreat and keep their message
ripe with potential. Bridges built between and methods to themselves. Both fail to

32 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

contextualize the Christian message in ways that experts have been trained in logically related
seem conceptually relevant and demonstratively methods and procedures to provide a cure for
compassionate. We need a missional mindset to your problem. This is the custom in our culture,
drive and inform redemptive engagement. On and it is embedded in a particular worldview
this road, we steer clear of avoidant separatism and conveyed by a particular meta-narrative
on one side and accommodating syncretism on and language.
the other. However, missionally-minded counselors
To summarize, contextualization is simply the are aware that the language for describing
effort to faithfully proclaim and apply Christian mental disorders is a product of a particular
concepts and practices to everybody, everywhere, culture with a particular philosophy of life and a
and in everything. After all, there is not one square particular view about the nature of persons and
inch of this planet to which the Lord Christ does their problems. Learning the language of mental
not say, “Mine.”14 Contextualization works out disorders is like learning the language of another

Missionally-minded counselors are aware that the language

for describing mental disorders is a product of a particular
culture with a particular philosophy of life and a particular
view about the nature of persons and their problems.
this notion: God is redemptive as he reclaims culture. The language both describes reality
and renews everything. God purifies what has and defines it. Every language has its strengths
been corrupted by sin at all levels —universal and weaknesses, pays attention to some facts
(conceptual models and systems, philosophies, and ignores other facts. Eric Johnson discusses
and psychologies) and particular (real lives and the importance of translating worldview-
particular problems). Enough said about theory, loaded concepts from a “foreign” psychological
let’s put the theory to work. community that has its own distinct literature
and language:
Contextualization: Two Examples These literatures [Christian theology and
Contextualization, when applied to counseling, secular psychology] may be different
is the process of saying both “Yes” and “No” to enough from each other that we could
secular psychology. I will consider two examples liken them to two different languages. If
of contextualization: first, the concept of mental that is so, the concept of integration may
disorder, and then the institution of professional not be the best metaphor for the task facing
licensure/certification. the Christian soul care community with
For each example, I aim first to deconstruct reference to modern psychology literature,
the concept. Then I will aim to reconstruct the but translation…The translation metaphor
concept, saying “no” to that which is inconsistent offers a different, and possibly a more
with God’s will and “yes” to that which reflects profitable way of conceiving the Christian
his ways. The net result is a reinterpretation—a psychological community’s interpretive
translation—that invites conversion. task, than the modern understanding of
1. Contextualization and“Mental Disorder” integration. Integration seems to imply that
Deconstruction: It goes without saying that the task is relatively unproblematic; the
the purpose of psychotherapy or counseling texts of modern psychology and Christian
is to help individuals suffering from “mental theology are all equally true; Christians
disorders.” That is the custom in our age: if simply need to read and put together the
your life is broken and you do not know how truth, like the pieces of a puzzle. Translation,
to fix it, we have designated experts who have on the other hand, better conveys that there
developed a system to diagnose the problem. is a problem.15
And then, based upon their categorization How does the language of “mental disorders”fare
and conceptualization of your problem, these in the process of redemptive contextualization?

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 33

 Of course, we can say “yes” to the who defines order. Spiritual and moral “data”
observations of psychologists and psychiatrists are ruled out, a priori. That which makes us
that people are disordered. There seems to distinctively human is deemed meaningless in
be something wrong with many of us—all of the description and definition of the soul’s order,
us—in our thoughts, behaviors, emotions, and disorder, and reordering.
relationships. Who would argue that people, Let me give an example that illustrates
some more than others, are messed up inside? how a Christian perspective on “mental” and
But how you help people with these disorders is “disorder” impacts a diagnosis and treatment.
a direct function of how you understand what is Suppose twin brothers, Carlos and Pedro, lose
meant by the concept of “mental disorder.”And their younger brother Daniel after he got drunk
there’s the rub. What do they and we mean by and ran his car into a tree. Carlos responds to
“mental,” and what do they and we mean by his brother’s tragic death with shock and then
“disorder”? Words, especially key words for an existential crisis. His brother’s death hits him
critical concepts, always carry worldview freight. like a rubber mallet between the eyes. He stands
A careful examination of the concept beside Daniel’s casket before his burial, views
of “mental disorder” in the Diagnostic and the lifeless body and thinks,“That could be me.”
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM- Carlos begins to ponder questions about life and
IV) reveals that there is a problem here. The death that he had previously avoided. He realizes
definition of this term in the introduction to the that someday he too will die. He wonders about
DSM-IV is essentially an apology: both Daniel’s and his own destiny. Is there really
The term mental disorder unfortunately a God? If so, am I ready to stand before him? Are
implies a distinction between mental heaven and hell true? He begins waking up at
disorders and physical disorders that is a night, worried and anxious. He tries to reassure
reductionistic anachronism of mind/body himself that all is well; there is no reason to
dualism [italics added]…The problem worry. However, his fears continue to nag him,
raised by the term mental disorders has and he is unable to repress the mounting anxiety
been much clearer than its solution, and, precipitated by Daniel’s death. One week later
unfortunately, the term persists in the title while driving home after work, he has a panic
of DSM-IV because we have not found an attack. He thinks he is having a heart attack
appropriate substitute.16 and heads for the emergency room, where he is
In other words, the term mental is embarrassing examined and diagnosed with panic disorder.
to the authors of the DSM-IV because it implies Pedro, on the other hand, seems to take his
(if not denotes!) immaterial, spiritual, and brother’s death in stride. No existential crisis
psychical substances, a product of a dualistic for Pedro. After a brief period of shock and
worldview which does not comport well mourning, he tells himself that Daniel’s death
with their monistic, naturalistic, biologically is the natural cycle of life: you live and you die.
reductionistic view. What they mean by mental He stands before his brother’s casket and views
and what a Christian means by mental are Daniel’s dead body with sadness, but no anxiety.
categorically different. He thinks,“No heaven. No hell. Don’t worry. Be
Another obvious question is,“How do they happy.” He experiences little fear or self-doubt.
and how do we define disorder?” It should go When he does, he quells it quickly with various
without saying that the critical starting point for forms of false assurance.
understanding a disorder is apprehending the Here is the diagnostic question. If God is real
proper order. What is a properly ordered mind/ and the Bible is true, which brother is disordered?
soul? Secular definitions of mental disorder are Is not Pedro’s lack of fear way out of order? Is
self-consciously atheistic and amoral, as if the not Carlos’s anxiety and panic a God-given red
mind, will, and emotions reside within a God- light on his emotional dashboard, warning him
free zone. There is an intentional avoidance of that he has sinned and falls short of the glory of
moral and spiritual appraisal. The secular criteria God, and that someday he will face that Lord of
for abnormal or disordered behavior are merely glory naked, without the protective covering of
biological, social, or statistical. They refuse to the robe of Christ? And if this is true, would not
acknowledge the divine order and the One panic, even terror, be appropriate? Is not Carlos’s

34 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

anxiety the grace of God speaking words of truth? full of evil; madness is in their hearts while they
Here is the treatment question. Would you live (Eccl 9:3). The biblical account tells us that all
have helped Carlos if you merely medicated creation, including both body and soul, has been
him or taught him to reduce his anxiety with a infected with a killer psychosomatic virus called
cognitive-behavioral counseling regimen? Or sin. Before this holy and loving God, every soul
would you have just extinguished a warning light is declared insane.
and failed to address the sickness in his soul that A true Christian psychology also says
was producing a meaningful danger signal? If “yes” to the immaterial, unseen reality of the
emotions are isolated from the One with whom mind, soul, and psyche. In a sense, the authors
we have to do (Heb 4:12–13), then they are of the DSM-IV are correct in apologizing for
inevitably misinterpreted and misdiagnosed, and their definition of a mental disorder. They
sometimes reflexively medicated or otherwise can’t find any other way to say it than, it is “a

The Bible provides a shocking diagnosis:

we are all disordered!
falsely assuaged. reductionistic anachronism.” But Christians are
Our emotions do not exist in a God-free happily anachronistic, and say they are more
zone. They always occur before the One with reductionistic than we are! We believe that the
whom we all have to do. Is not Pedro out of Ancient of Days has indeed set eternity into our
touch with reality, and his lack of fear an affective hearts (Eccl 3:11). It is here that we are made
disorder of psychotic proportions? What kind of like him, in his image, but also made for him
“treatment” would you recommend for Pedro? and accountable to him. We can acknowledge
Doesn’t he need “help”? the possibility that some of our problems may
Reconstruction: Emotions, theorists tell us, be physiological in part. All creation has been
are a product of our cognitive appraisals, our infected by the sin virus. But regardless of the
concerns, and our beliefs. In other words, our relative degree of health or sickness in our
interpretations of reality form the web out of which bodies, the Bible says our hearts are the true
we construct our complex of affect and feeling.17 source of our insanities. The body may be sick
While it does seem that our bodies and brains or diseased, but our hearts are the fountainhead
are wired for a set of primary emotions, these out of which flow all things “mental”—actions,
visceral responses are shaped by our construal of words, thoughts, intentions, beliefs, attitudes,
reality, our worldview, right and wrong, order and affects, desires, emotions, and delights. A
disorder, God or no God, heaven and hell, gospel diseased body may cause us to suffer, but it does
or no gospel. not make us sin. The biblical witness declares
A Christian view of people (a true Christian that there is something wrong with our minds.
psychology) re-situates and re-configures We are infected with a contagion. Clinicians
emotions and mental disorders within a and patients cannot make sense of any “mental
divine perspective that changes everything. disorder” apart from a proper understanding
Our Christian psychology first says “no” to the of sin.
notion that any of us, or our emotions, reside We see in the Pedro and Carlos vignette
within a God-free zone. And then a Christian one way that a distinctively Christian
psychology says “yes” to the obvious: something conceptualization of mental disorders subverts
is desperately wrong with us. The Bible provides and redeems the secular conceptualization.
a shocking diagnosis: we are all disordered! Our view is shaped by a distinctively Christian
This Christian reconstruction of the concept understanding of human reality as pervasively
of mental disorders brings every one of us to our spiritual and moral. As a consequence, how we
knees. The God described in Scripture is an equal understand “help”or good counsel, or even who
opportunity diagnostician, declaring everybody needs counseling, is radically reconfigured. The
everywhere with a terminal spiritual and moral view of mental disorders and psychotherapy
disease. Truly the hearts of the sons of men are within the kingdom of God deconstructs and

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 35

reconstructs our disorders in a way that leads true because of Christian and historical realities.
directly to the gospel of God. And yet, to call licensure modern and
2. Contextualization and Mental Health Licensure secular is not to say that it is all bad. We need
I want to examine another feature of the not negate the horizontal goods that can be a
mental health landscape through the lens of product of this system: training standards to
redemptive contextualization: state licensure or promote competence, ethical guidelines to
certification as a mental health professional. Is it protect the public, etc. We can say “yes” to the
possible to reframe these professional processes common graces that can flow through this
as platforms for faithful Christian counseling? particular cultural development. However, even
We will again begin with a deconstruction though God has ordained culture, he has not
of the state-sanctioned delivery system for the ordered it.18 He leaves that to us. Though there
care of souls and then propose a reconstruction. may be flashes of God’s common goodness
In this process we will see the benefits and evident in this cultural construct, his special
liabilities of participating in soul care under the grace is not present here. More succinctly,
modern, secular rubric of licensure. licensure and certification, just like democracy
Deconstruction: Who should sanction and and capitalism, are not all bad, but they are like
regulate Christian counseling, the training all our cultural artifacts, fallible and fallen and
procedures for and the actual practice of the therefore in desperate need of redemption.
care of souls? Which institution, the church or Reconstruction: I want to propose a
the state, should have final jurisdiction over Christian invasion of the secular mental health
the understanding and cure of the soul—over establishment—for the glory of God and the
“psychology and psychotherapy”? Is secular good of men. David Powlison comments on
“ordination” really necessary for diagnosing Christian mental health work in the secular
and counseling sick souls? Is it permissible, system.
can it be a legitimate means to kingdom ends? It is not necessarily wrong for Christians
Or, less optimistically, is licensure a pagan to work within the secular mental health
institutionalization of secular pastoral workers, system if they can do so without being
who then pose as priests and theologians, thus forced to communicate false ideas,
replacing the church and its pastors? The answers diagnostically and prescriptively, to those
to these questions depend upon our view of they counsel. Sometimes in God’s common
counseling, of mission, and our understanding grace Christians are given great freedom
of the proper relationship between gospel within an ostensibly secular setting.19
and culture. Powlison also writes that no evangelical
A good place to start is simply to recognize should object if the guiding intention of
that the American mental health system evangelical psychologists was to infiltrate
was not created ex nihilo. State licensing and the secular mental health system.20 In fact
certifying boards are not givens of the natural that is precisely what I am proposing —an
order. They are jurisdictional entities situated infiltration, a benevolent invasion of the secular
within a particular culture in which a modern, mental health establishment. Invasion and
secular model of psychology reigns and is then infiltration—proactive mission terminology—
embodied in professional roles. It has not always simply acknowledge the revolutionary nature of
been this way, and it is not this way everywhere. the task.
Professional licensure of persons who choose A Christian reconstruction of state licensure
a vocation devoted to a secular understanding can be supported by the concept of a missionary
and caring for souls is a mid to late 20th century platform. A good starting point in understanding
phenomenon. So, we say “no” to the professional a platform is with the plain meaning of the
licensing board when they function as if they are term: a platform is something you stand
the one and only divinely instituted authority on. For modern foreign missionaries, their
over the understanding and cure of souls. Their platform normally included their missionary
claim to final jurisdiction over intentional, visa, missionary identity, and the work of a
careful conversations in which one person aims missionary. As missionaries began knocking on
to help another who is in trouble is simply not the doors of “closed countries,” however, they

36 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

found that they were not permitted to enter as just as Paul did in terms of his public status with
missionaries, nor to do the work of a missionary, respect to the law in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23.
as it had been previously conceptualized. So, In case some readers are feeling uneasy
they began to examine other venues by which ethically, let me note that platforms must be
they might be allowed to legitimately enter and honest and legitimate endeavors. Missionaries
work within these restricted countries. must actually do what they claim to do on
How might we apply this to the counseling their platforms. Legally and economically,
world? Professional processes can be missionary they must play by the rules of the relevant
platforms for Christian counseling. State governing bodies, and yet not compromise their
licensure serves as a visa that grants access, biblical principles and ethics. This means that
permitting the psychologist or counselor to for psychologists and counselors who choose
enter and travel in the mental health world. this vocational road to contextualization, their
State licensure serves as a union card that platform (licensure or certification) must be
legitimizes one’s work and right to engage in legitimate and not inherently wicked, just as
meaningful discourse. platforms for missionaries in closed countries
In this proposal, licensure or certification must be valid and ethical, a potential vehicle
would simply be one part of faithful and relevant of God’s common grace. State licensure and
contextualization of Christian psychology laws, board regulations, and professional ethical
(i.e., Christian truth and practice) in the public codes must not compromise a psychologist’s or
square. Participants would continually remind a counselor’s Christian commitments. And, they
themselves that they are ambassadors, openly would avoid any deceptive, “the end justifies any
representing and requiring the empowerment means,” motives and steer clear of crass “bait
of Another. They would remain cognizant that and switch”strategies.
their primary citizenship is in the City of God. In addition, the missional counselor should
Even though they have been granted a “visa” have a genuine sense of calling and gifting as a
and “union card” for the City of Man, they are counselor, along with the relevant training, in the
strangers and aliens living in a secular city. same way that medical missionaries must have
They would realize that their legitimacy before the relevant calling, education, and training as a
God to minister to souls requires no sanction nurse or physician. Michael Barnett’s comments
from the state. But they also would seek this in The Changing Face of World Missions are
sanction with a Pauline motive—becoming all helpful here.
things to all people so that some might be saved God provides each believer with a
(understanding salvation in comprehensive, platform from which to serve him and to
holistic terms). communicate the gospel. Platforms are a
Such missionaries would be aware that product of God’s calling, equipping, and
this world is in fact God’s stage for redemption. gifting. They provide a legitimate reason
They would take seriously the charge to be in and right for sharing the faith among the
the world, but not of the world. They would nations. They are not a cover for covert
understand the ongoing temptation toward activities but a basis for living among,
syncretism, remaining mindful of Paul’s interacting with, and communicating the
admonition to be careful to avoid being taken gospel to those around us.21
captive by “persuasive” and “plausible,” but Barnett summarizes the motives for a platform
empty philosophies that do not acknowledge the as: accessibility, legitimacy, identity, strategic
treasures of wisdom and knowledge found only viability, and integrity. Licensure or certification
in Christ (Col 2:3–8, 23). They would understand as a mental health professional does indeed
how to avoid falling in love with the world and provide access to and legitimize one’s presence
the things in it (1 John 2:15), but at the same in an array of settings: hospitals, residential
time be a friend of sinners (Matt 9:10–13, 11:19). treatment centers, community mental health
Rather than seeing licensure or certification as centers, hospice and nursing homes, etc. It
granting bona fide Coram Deo affirmation and provides a recognized and well-reputed identity
validation, they would see it as a legitimate that lends integrity to our particular views
means to partner with God in the Missio Dei, and voices.

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 37

The Charge to Christian Counselors and undertaken are not fatal. And, an option that we
Biblical Counselors do not have, in my view of the Missio Dei and
There is an important difference though between the Great Commission, is not to go. I would even
choosing to teach English, guide tours, or practice raise the stakes and assert that we are not just
medicine as one’s platform, and choosing to be permitted or allowed to go, we have been both
a licensed clinical psychologist, social worker, chosen and commissioned to go. How on earth
or professional counselor. That difference is the could we keep distinctively Christian care and
pervasive, albeit often unrecognized, moral and cure for souls to ourselves by means of either
spiritual nature of mental health work. There syncretistic over-contextualization or sectarian
is no distinctively Christian way of teaching under-contextualization? Does not the love of
English, or touring the pyramids, or removing Christ compel us to go? Is there any other truth
cataracts. There is a distinctively Christian way of that can set people free?

Choosing counseling as one’s vocation should be

understood as particularly missiological.
understanding people, their problems, and how Even so, a question quickly arises: “But
they change. We are diagnosing and mending can we really proclaim that truth in “secular”
human minds, teaching people a language to settings?”The answer to that question depends
describe themselves and their problems, and upon several variables; there is no single answer
pointing out a path for redemption. that will apply to everybody everywhere. Here
In other words, choosing counseling as one’s are several factors to consider:
vocation should be understood as particularly • What is your particular setting and its
missiological because of the very nature of the policies and procedures?
work: the care and cure of the human soul. And, A former student of mine was employed as
like missions work in foreign cultures, “secular” a chaplain by a skilled nursing facility, and
mental health work brings special opportunities, hired by its Jewish owners. He was allowed
but also poses unique risks. Powlison elucidates to counsel biblically and evangelistically
these as follows: provided he was respectful of the autonomy
Christians must realize that when they are and beliefs of the patients. Another colleague
barred from mentioning sin and Christ, is a licensed psychologist in private practice.
they can only describe problems, but they He is able to counsel biblically provided he
cannot accurately diagnose them; they can is sensitive to his patient’s beliefs. Respect
only suggest the outward shell of solutions, for the counselee’s autonomy and a proper
but they cannot get to the deep issues that sensitivity to their beliefs are codified in
plague the heart. Christians in such settings professional ethical standards. But properly
are still free to know people, to love them understood and applied, should not such
and to provide various outward mercies, a stance characterize all counseling of
but they are limited to being relatively whatever type in whatever place? Respect
superficial and moralistic in the content for a counselee’s autonomy and sensitivity
of their counsel. Unfortunately, in my about their chosen beliefs do not entail an
observation, well-meaning Christians in omission of truth spoken gently and in love.
mental health settings typically are far more • What is your position in that setting,
profoundly socialized and enculturated and where are you located in their
than they realize. They fail to recognize that authority structure?
they are working in a radioactive zone, and Another colleague is a certified social
they absorb faulty diagnostic, explanatory, worker, and is also the clinical director
and treatment models without knowing in the community mental health clinic in
that they have done so.22 which she works. She describes a good deal
“Radioactive,” yes. Deadly, no. There are risks, of freedom to counsel Christianly, in part
but risks that are properly understood and as a result of her position as director, and

38 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

 also as a result of the respect she has earned in the relevant cultures and languages, who
from the medical director and earns over ideally are themselves bicultural.23
time with her patients. Ask any missionary and they will tell
• What are your particular professional you that becoming bicultural is no small task.
ethical guidelines? “Cross-cultural” Christian counselors must
The interpretation and application of each learn to speak another language. Therefore, they
mental health professions’ethical guidelines will need to be both well-trained in our faith’s
varies from state to state, and from setting psychology and in one of the secular mental
to setting. It is crucial to understand those health professions. In addition, licensure or
particular guidelines, and how that state certification will often be necessary to actually
and setting interprets and applies these enter that culture with significant standing.
guidelines. Although most professional Those who undertake such a task must be
standards assert that the autonomy and the careful, for we all lean most on what we know
spiritual/religious beliefs of the counselee best. If your training in understanding people,
must be respected, they also value problems, and change is deep and wide in the
spirituality and religious faith as fair game secular rudiments of the psyche but weak and
for counseling. This is where discernment thin in the faith, then you will be in trouble. The
and wisdom become so important: how academic and professional guilds are persuasive
do you participate in God’s agenda for that when you function under their presuppositions
man or that woman at this time in their life. rather than God’s, and powerful when they hold
How can Scripture bring life, here and now, over your head a degree, a license, and a paycheck.
with this person? If you have a PhD in psychology, counseling, or
Similar questions are often posed regarding social work and a “Sunday School degree” in
public school teachers. To what extent can they Bible and theology, anybody can guess which
lead and teach their class in a distinctively will exercise the greatest influence in your work.
Christian manner? And the answer is the same: Careful training in biblical counseling, especially
it depends upon a variety of factors. Some the development of a theistic epistemology, and
public school teachers are granted a good deal a robust and practical biblical psychology are
of freedom, even to pray in their class and read prerequisite. Even better is a seminary degree in
from the Bible, while others have very little biblical counseling.
freedom because of an extremely censorious It is also important to have iron-sharpening
school board and/or principal. dialogue partners to accompany you on your
Furthermore, even in more oppressive trek. After I completed a graduate degree in
settings, should these not be approached in clinical psychology, I attempted to practice as
the same way our mission boards deal with a Christian. But sensing the spiritually vapid
“closed countries”? You find a way to go. God’s nature of my work, God used two mentors to
boundaries and man’s are not coterminous. help me develop a more biblical perspective.
You seek open doors for candid, meaningful They gave me their time and energy—countless
conversations. You take risks, out of love conversations, an abundance of helpful
for people. responses to my many “yes, but what about”
questions, and many thoughtful e-mails.
Who Should Go? Finally, you must learn to think and live
Who can effectively proclaim the gospel of like a missionary. Missionaries enter into
Christ-exalting, biblically faithful counseling in another culture both as learners and, with time,
psychiatric hospitals, correctional institutions, as teachers. They are motivated by love and
residential treatment centers, day treatment therefore move toward an unreached culture
centers, group homes, nursing homes, hospices, with compassion and a measure of acceptance,
community based agencies, and mental health but also possessed (and I do mean possessed!)
centers? Who should go? Missiologist David by a distinctively divine agenda. If our
Hesselgrave asserts that the dual tasks of psychology and our counsel will be Christian, it
decontextualization and recontextualization are must be messianic and missionary. An army of
best accomplished by persons who are “expert” intentionally and radically Christian counselors

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 39

should turn the mental health world upside 9 Lesslie Newbigin, Foolishness to the Greeks (Grand
down, because it would announce the arrival of Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1986), 5-6.
10 David J. Bosch, Transforming Mission (Maryknoll, NY:
another King.
Orbis, 1991), 83.
_______________________________________ 11 I am not denying our call to pastoral care and cure of
1 An earlier version of this article was published in
the souls of Christian people, but I am expanding our call.
Edification by the Society of Christian Psychology in 2008. 12 Herman Bavinck, An Introduction to the Science of
2 David J. Bosch, Transforming Mission (Maryknoll, NY:
Missions (Phillipsburg, NJ: Presbyterian and Reformed,
Orbis, 1991), 9. 1960), 179. (Paraphrase)
3 Bruce Ashford,“We Will Reach Them: Why the Great 13 Mark Noll & David F. Wells, Christian Faith and Practice
Commission Is Our Consuming Passion,” Outlook: The in the Modern World: Theology from an Evangelical Point of
Magazine of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, View (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1988), 15-16.
Fall 2007, 9. 14 James D. Bratt, ed., Abraham Kuyper: A Centennial
4 In The Question of Lay Analysis, Sigmund Freud
Reader (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans, 1998).
argued that “the words ‘secular pastoral worker’ might (Paraphrase)
well serve as a general formula for describing the 15 Eric L. Johnson, Foundations for Soul Care (Downers
function which the analyst, whether he is a doctor or Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 2007), 227-228.
a layman, has to perform in his relation to the public” 16 American Psychiatric Association, Diagnostic and
(W.W. Norton & Company, Inc., James Strachey, Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition
Ed. & Trans., 1927), 93. In Modern Man in Search of a (Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Publication,
Soul, Carl Jung also claimed that “patients force the 2000), xxx.
psychotherapist into the role of a priest, and expect 17 For more on this subject, see Robert C. Roberts’ book
and demand of him that he shall free them from their Emotions: An Essay in Aid of Moral Psychology (Madison,
distress. That is why we psychotherapists must occupy WI: University of Wisconsin Press), 2003.
ourselves with problems which, strictly speaking, belong 18 From David Hesselgrave’s chapter “Christ and
to the theologian”(Harcourt Harvest, W. S. Dell and C. F. Culture” in Perspective on the World Christian Movement:
Baynes, Trans., 1933), 241. A Reader (Steve Hawthorne and Ralph D. Winter, eds.,
5 Peter D. Kramer, Listening to Prozac (New York:
1981).
Penguin Group, 1997). For further elucidation and 19 From David Powlison’s chapter “Questions at the
a critique of the behavioral and biological takeover Crossroads” in Care for the Soul: Exploring the Intersection
of modern psychology, see Daniel N. Robinson’s of Psychology and Theology (Mark McMinn and Timothy
An Intellectual History of Psychology (Madison, WI: Phillips, eds., 2001), 55.
University of Wisconsin Press, 1995). Carl Rogers and 20 From David Powlison’s chapter “A Biblical Counseling
Abraham Maslow’s humanistic model did allow more Response” in Psychology and Christianity: Four Views
room for a generic, anthropocentric spirituality. (Eric L. Johnson and Stanton L. Jones, eds., 2000), 145.
6 See the research on the health effects of religious 21 From Michael Barnett’s chapter “Innovation in
faith by David Larson and Susan Larson in The Forgotten Mission Operations: Creative Access Platforms” in The
Factor in Physical and Mental Health: What Does the Changing Face of World Missions: Engaging Contemporary
Research Show? An Independent Study Seminar (1994). Issues and Trends (Douglas McConnell, Michael Pocock,
See also Harold G. Koenig, David B. Larson, and Michael and Gailyn Van Rheenen, eds., 2005).
E. McCullough’s Handbook of Religion and Health (New 22 From David Powlison’s chapter “Questions at the
York: Oxford University Press, 2001). Crossroads” in Care for the Soul: Exploring the Intersection
7 Modified from C.S. Lewis’ The Weight of Glory (New
of Psychology and Theology (Mark McMinn and Timothy
York: Macmillan, 1980), 3-4. Phillips, eds., 2001), 55.
8 David J. Hesselgrave and Edward Rommen,
23 David Hesselgrave, “Contextualization that Is
Contextualization: Meaning, Methods, and Models Authentic and Relevant,” International Journal of Frontier
(Pasadena, CA: William Carey Library, 2000), 200. Missions 12 (1995): 119.
(Italics added)

40 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

 When God Touches the
Untouchables 1

by Edward T. Welch

What follows is a chapter from my book known as a “friend of tax collectors and sinners.”
Shame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of He pursued the dregs—those who would make
Worthlessness and Rejection. I love the biblical you unclean—and he ate with them, a huge
truths captured here. Scripture speaks to our misstep in Hebrew society.
shame in many ways. God knows your name— “Friend of tax collectors.” Tax collectors
that certainly takes aim at worthlessness and were the servants of Rome, so they were unclean
shame. He invites you to a fellowship meal— whether they were Jew or Gentile. But Jesus
what a great honor! But, most intimate of all, he made one of them—Matthew—a part of his
touches you on purpose and expects you to touch inner circle.
him back. Given some of the touch moments in “Friend of Sinners.” Sinners meant “the
the New Testament, Jesus is quite comfortable really bad (or different) people who are not
with messy hugs. He is not ashamed to touch us.” They included people who were known by
the unclean, to touch those who feel like they are their sins: Joe the Divorcer, Jane the Adulteress,
untouchables. What could be better? Jim the Thief. And they included those who
Please enjoy this reality of Jesus’ hands- were physically handicapped or abused: Jack
on care. It is no mere metaphor, as in “what the Blind, Jane the Molested. “Sinners” had
Jesus has done is like what happens in a very everyone gossiping. But Jesus sought them out,
meaningful touch.” It is more this: Have you and they sought him out. He was their friend,
ever received a safe and loving touch that made and happy to touch them.
you feel included, a touch of care and kindness As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a
that was just plain good? The enjoyment of man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth,
that experience is a signpost to this greater and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he
spiritual reality. rose and followed him.
And as Jesus reclined at table in the
* * * house, behold, many tax collectors and
sinners came and were reclining with Jesus
Jesus succeeded spectacularly in his goal and his disciples. And when the Pharisees
of associating with outcasts. By the time he saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why
gathered the twelve disciples, he was already does your teacher eat with tax collectors
___________________________________________ and sinners?” (Matt 9:9–11, emphasis mine;
Edward Welch (M.Div., Ph.D.) counsels and teaches at
also see Matt 11:19; Luke 15:1–2)
CCEF. He is the author of “When People Are Big and God
Is Small.” Remember Isaiah’s vision of the King?

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 41

It was a frightful event filled with rumblings, I remember the first time I touched my wife.
smoke, and the refrain, “Holy, holy, holy” (Is 6). I might have touched her fifty times before I
The most shocking feature of the scene was the actually touched her, but none of them counted.
seraphim, a representative of the King, coming The first time I touched her with intent, I took
on the King’s behalf to touch Isaiah’s tongue with her hand, and I think she touched me back.
a live coal, which symbolized his purification. When you love someone, you touch them.
The people of Israel had come to expect God to For those who feel untouchable, have you
be close—but not too close. Certainly, no one noticed that your shame fades away when
expected to touch God or be touched by him. someone else touches you intentionally, in love?
Certainly no one would eat with God. But Isaiah Yet not all touch is good. There is another
was pointing to the time when God would come kind of touch that is purposeful and intended to
closer than we could imagine. And who could harm. If you have been cruelly hit by someone
have imagined he would insist on touching who is supposed to love you, something
the untouchables? happened in that touch. You were shamed. If
you were touched sexually by someone you
The Meaning of Touch didn’t want to touch you, you discovered one of
Every day we touch other people. How many? the laws of intentional touch—it lingers much
Dozens? If you live in a city and take public longer than the physical act. It can create an
transportation, you touch hundreds of people. association that is hard to break. In fact, it cannot
But there are different kinds of touches. The be broken apart from a good touch that erases
inadvertent touches are meaningless. You might and replaces the old.
apologize if you accidentally bump someone;
otherwise, you don’t even think of all the Old Testament Touching
unintentional contact you have with other Scripture is all about touch, though you might
human beings. not see that in an initial reading. In the Old
I have a friend who is as far from touchy- Testament, touch can seem very confusing.
feely as you can get. He likes his space. His Some of it can be very good. For example, if you
emotional range is . . . restricted. When a surgical are a priest and you touched the consecrated
procedure went badly, he landed in the hospital altar (consecration is the God-given method of
for over three weeks. During that time he had a making something holy), the holiness rubbed
small but steady group of visitors. I don’t think a off on you and you were made holy, at least
day passed without someone stopping in to visit temporarily (Ex 29:37). In a later story, some
and pray with him. But after he recovered he Israelites were burying a man and hurriedly
couldn’t stop talking about one particular visitor. threw his body into Elisha’s tomb to avoid a band
It was an older man. I don’t remember how they of robbers. As a prophet, Elisha had been set
knew each other—probably a friend of a friend. apart by God to serve him, so he would be called
This man came in the hospital room, sat holy. As soon as the dead man’s body touched
on the bed, and held my friend’s hand. He Elisha’s bones, the dead man immediately came
held it for what would normally be considered to life and stood up (2 Kings 13:21). Touch,
an uncomfortably long time. He just sat there indeed, could be a good thing.
and held his hand. This older man was the first Picture Aaron the high priest, laying his
person to touch my hospitalized friend in weeks. hands on the scapegoat—an actual live goat—
And while my friend was telling me this story, and confessing over it the people’s wickedness.
tears were rolling down his cheeks. Naturally, Somehow, God ordained that in Aaron’s
that made me want to hug him, but I decided to purposeful touch, sins would be transferred
save it for the next time he was in the hospital. from the people to another living creature. In
We hear about a baby’s need for human this case, the transfer was a great blessing to the
contact. Apparently that need extends to crotchety people. The goat, not the people, would carry the
middle-aged men too, though mere skin-to-skin weight of the sin (Lev 16:20–22).
contact will not do. We want purposeful, meaningful Picture the prophet Elisha, spread-eagled
touch, not the professional touch of someone taking over a dead boy. It seems as if it took a lot
our blood pressure or inserting a new IV. of touching to raise the dead.

42 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

 When Elisha came into the house, he saw but Jesus made time for the leper. Men and
the child lying dead on his bed. So he went women like him were Jesus’ people. Then,
in and shut the door behind the two of instead of healing this man simply by saying
them and prayed to the Lord. Then he went a word, he purposefully touched him, though
up and lay on the child, putting his mouth touching was completely unnecessary. All
on his mouth, his eyes on his eyes, and his it accomplished was to make Jesus himself
hands on his hands. And as he stretched ceremonially unclean. Jesus could have avoided
himself upon him, the flesh of the child this but it was part of his plan.
became warm. (2 Kings 4:32–34) As you consider this story, stop for a minute.
In the Old Testament, touch was usually a good Bring it close. Make it personal to you. Every
thing, but you still had to be careful. When person who knows shame should be captured by
God came to Mount Sinai to meet with his this story. All you need in order to make it your
people, they had to ritually wash or consecrate own is to feel utterly worthless and deserving
themselves according to God’s directions. of rejection.

The New Testament specializes in good touch. With Jesus

there is a lot of touching going on, and it is all good.
Even then, if one uninvited person touched Let the leper lead you. When you encounter
the mountain, he or she would be put to death a New Testament story, the heroes are typically
with stones or arrows. No one was allowed to the tax collectors, unclean people, and
touch that person (Ex 19:10–13). Years later, neighborhood failures. They understand Jesus.
when the ark of God was recovered from an Take your cue from them. This man is one of the
enemy and returned to Israel, it teetered when first heroes you can emulate.
one of the oxen pulling its cart stumbled. Uzzah Can you say, “Lord, if you are willing, you
instinctively reached out to steady the sacred can make me clean”? It doesn’t count if you nod
object and died immediately (2 Sam 6:6–7). your head with the leper but can’t say it out loud.
Touch could be a very dangerous thing. Can you say it? I know it isn’t easy. But
There are ways to make sense out of these this leper is one of the first heroes in the new
events. For now, it is enough to know that touch kingdom inaugurated by Jesus. You are being
has a deeper meaning. Get touched at the wrong asked to follow in his footsteps with something
time by the wrong person and you at least similarly heroic. Of course, his heroism is a gift.
became unclean. Perhaps you’d even die. Get The Spirit of the living God gave him the power
touched at the right time by the right person, to say such a thing.You will need that power too.
and you come to life. Can you say it? If not, ask God for help or
. . . just say it! If you can say it, be amazed that
The Purposeful Touch of Jesus God has come close to you and given you more
The New Testament specializes in good touch. With power than you know.
Jesus there is a lot of touching going on, and it is all Next, do you believe it? Do you believe that
good. Don’t be distracted by the crowds pressing in Jesus responds, “I am willing, be clean”? At this
on him. Keep an eye out for the intentional touch he point we should begin to expect such things. This
invites from and extends to his favorites: the lame, is central to his mission statement. Do you believe
blind, leprous, discarded, and sinful. what he says? If not, be careful.You are giving more
When he came down from the mountain, authority to your worthlessness than you are to
great crowds followed him. And behold, a Jesus, and when you make it personal like that, it is
leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, a scary thought.You are essentially saying that Jesus
“Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.”And is not telling you the truth.You are saying that Jesus’
Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, touch is less powerful than Elisha’s. So believe.
saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately his Now back to Jesus, the Touching-King. He
leprosy was cleansed. (Matt 8:1–3) touched the eyes of a blind man and he could
There were many people pressing in on him, see (Matt 9:28–30; 20:34). He touched Peter’s

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sick mother-in-law and her fever left (Matt 8:14– not easily answered questions. Scripture is
15). He was touched by a disgraced woman, offering you a second hero, or heroine in this
and he praised her for understanding that he case. She is the first to be called a person of faith.
was the Approachable King who cleansed by Imitate her actions, hear the questions Jesus
forgiving sins. In forgiving her sins he took asked, and confess publicly with her why you
away her deepest shame (Luke 7:36–48). In a touched him. And don’t worry about making
curious variation on this touching theme, Jesus him unclean. He is the Holy One, and holiness
approached a deaf and mute man, placed his trumps uncleanness.
fingers in the man’s ears, spit on his finger, and Faith is your response to Jesus. He makes
touched the man’s tongue (Mark 7:31–35). There is the first move. He makes a beeline toward
no denying his willingness to get down and dirty you. Then you do something. When he moved
after that. Before long, all the sick and demon- toward the leper, the man said,“Lord, if you will,
afflicted tried to touch him “for power came out you can make me clean” (Luke 5:12). Another
from him and healed them all”(Luke 6:19). man with leprosy threw himself at Jesus’ feet and
Best known of these stories was the woman thanked him (Luke 17:16). This woman touched
who had been sick with twelve years of bleeding. him, and in that touch she acknowledged that
She was clearly unclean and untouchable. Jesus was the One sent from the Father. He was,
As Jesus went, the people pressed around in fact, “the Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and
him. And there was a woman who had gracious”(Ex 34:6).
had a discharge of blood for twelve years, How will you respond? “Yes, Lord, I believe”
and though she had spent all her living is fine, but you can see that early men and
on physicians, she could not be healed women of faith put their own personal flourishes
by anyone. She came up behind him and to their response.
touched the fringe of his garment, and Before you move on from this story, Luke
immediately her discharge of blood ceased. connects it to one more. The two stories are
And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched linked by “while [Jesus] was still speaking . . .”
me?” When all denied it, Peter said,“Master, (Luke 8:49). In the first story Jesus was touched
the crowds surround you and are pressing in by the bleeding woman; in the second he
on you!” But Jesus said, “Someone touched intentionally touched a corpse. The result: Jesus
me, for I perceive that power has gone out was contaminated, a woman was healed; a dead
from me.” And when the woman saw that girl was given life, stood up, and got something
she was not hidden, she came trembling, to eat. Apparently, Jesus’ touch and his invitation
and falling down before him declared in to us to touch him back are essential parts of the
the presence of all the people why she Good News.
had touched him, and how she had been
immediately healed. And he said to her, Touch and Power
“Daughter, your faith has made you well; When Jesus touched or was purposefully
go in peace.”(Luke 8:42–48) touched, there was a lot happening. He was
There was lots of jostling and bumping in this showing his solidarity with outcasts. He was
crowded village— lots of inadvertent touch. identifying with them. Of that there is no doubt.
The woman’s touch, however, was highly When you see people purposefully touching, you
intentional. It is no wonder that the woman was know they are at least good friends. But if that’s
embarrassed when her action was made public. all Jesus did, it would have been a nice but empty
The law prohibited her from touching others but gesture. The outcasts would have felt temporary
desperation makes you do things you otherwise comfort but no real change in status. So there
wouldn’t do. As it happens, desperation is one of was much more happening. The accumulating
the main ingredients of faith. Faith means you references to “power”give it away.
need healing, you can’t do it yourself, and you With every intentional touch there was a
are confident that Jesus is the hands-on Healer. transaction being made. “Power” goes out from
Hmm. Are you willing to contaminate Jesus to the person who was touched. Splice
the King? Are you desperate enough? Do you together various Scriptures and you will see that
know he invites you to touch him? These are power is a loaded term that includes:

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 • holiness conferred (consecration)
• forgiveness of sins
• cleansing and purification
• healing
• identification with Jesus’ status.
Meanwhile, the unclean person gave something
to Jesus, the scapegoat. He or she gave
• sins
• shameful acts
• victimization and its contamination
• disease.
This is the gospel: God touches us. All the talk
about cleanness and uncleanness points to this
divine touch. This is what the universe itself was
waiting for. It is an unbalanced transaction that
displaces our shame and replaces it with holiness.
The apostle Paul put it this way: “For our sake he
made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in
townspeople and boldly went out to see Jesus.
him we might become the righteousness of God”
When they saw him, they felt compelled to
(2 Cor 5:21). With our touch, Jesus becomes our
touch him because they understood that their
scapegoat. In his touch, Jesus takes our sin and
salvation was near. They came alive!
absorbs our shame (Ps 69:9; Rom 15:3), and we
Watch them as they sit in the filth of their
receive his righteousness. If you prefer symmetry
daily lives. Watch them as they hear rumors of
in your relationships, in which you give a gift of
someone who cares and has power. Watch them
similar value to the one you receive, you have
stand up when they receive news that Jesus is
not yet touched Jesus.
approaching. Watch their steps quicken when
This is faith: we reach out and touch the Holy
they hear the crowd. Watch them become an
One. Faith means we believe that the kingdom
unstoppable force when they see him. Don’t get
of God has come to us in Christ. It means
in the way of someone who is both desperate
we believe there is hope in Jesus and only in
and hopeful when the King is near.
him. It means we believe that rescue, healing,
These are the men and women of faith.
covering, acceptance, and cleansing are possible,
Join them. Don’t be one who happens to
and possible only in Jesus. Faith—or touching
bump into Jesus in a crowded marketplace.
Jesus—means saying, “Jesus, I need you.”
Instead, join those who purposefully touched him.
It sounds easy but, like all things spiritual,
Please, join them.
faith is evidence of supernatural power at work in
us. Left to ourselves, we instinctively turn inward
For discussion
rather than put our trust and confidence in Jesus.
1. You have undoubtedly known cruel touch.
You know this instinct. We call it self-protection,
Have you ever experienced meaningful,
though it is more accurately called unbelief.
personal touch that temporarily broke
Shame has a natural affinity with self-
through your shame?
protection and unbelief. It hides from others,
2. Have you ever run from Jesus’ touch? Why?
feels undeserving of anything good, and believes
3. Have you ever run toward him to touch him?
it will contaminate whatever comes close.
_______________________________________
But look at what happened when Jesus came. 1 This is excerpted from Shame Interrupted: How God
Unclean people suddenly were filled with hope. Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejection. Copyright©
Instead of hiding from the world, they became 2012 by Edward T. Welch. Published by New Growth
indifferent to the derision of the relatively clean Press. (newgrowthpress.com). All rights reserved.

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 45

 From Your Heart…Forgive

by Aaron Sironi

Recently, I met with a successful businesswoman wounds, and wrongs, she suddenly saw the
who entered counseling after her husband pathway to reconciliation that had long been
revealed that he was fearful and leery of her obscured from her mind. It was so simple and
resentment, bitterness, and anger. This painful yet so profound. Although she continued to
conversation brought her into counseling with struggle with ongoing forgiveness, clearly she
me. As I listened to her describe her relationship was growing, and I was hopeful for her and
with her husband, I was increasingly interested her marriage.
in knowing how she was able to maintain her Contrast this story of forgiveness with
forty year marriage to a man against whom she another. I know a young man who is separated
held such ill will. So I asked. Her response gave from his wife. Although separated, they came
me a surprising amount of hope for her and her in for marriage counseling hoping to reconcile
husband. She recounted a pivotal moment in their relationship. In one stunning conversation,
her marriage. the husband said, “If I were able to forgive
A few years prior, she and her husband her for what she’s done, that would almost
met with a Christian mediator to agree upon completely heal our marriage.” Shocked by this
the details and terms of a divorce. They both man’s clarity and ownership of the remedy
were finished with the marriage. The mediator to his marital problems, I gently probed his
asked them each a very poignant and clarifying reasons for withholding forgiveness from his
question: “Is there anything that your spouse wife. He explained that although he knew
has done that is unforgiveable?” Stunned, she that withholding forgiveness was wrong, he
was immobilized by this question. As the rancor refused to forgive his wife until he trusted her.
and self-righteousness drained from her heart, He said,“So what will change if I do this? What
she humbly answered “No.” God used this one do I get out this? It would just endorse what
question to turn her away from divorce and she’s done.” He was not about to forgive her
toward reconciliation with her husband. It was without a guarantee and consistent evidence
in this moment that she realized her chronic of her trustworthiness. Self-protection was
unwillingness to forgive her husband. Although more important than forgiveness, and he had
there had been years of unresolved conflicts, no qualms about it. From the start, I suspected
reconciliation would be elusive.
___________________________________________ Why tell these stories? Because forgiveness
Aaron Sironi (M.S., L.C.P.C.) leads the CCEF affiliate office
is central to our Christian life. Forgiveness is
in Montana and serves as assistant faculty at CCEF.
the heart of the gospel. It pervades Christ’s

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relationship with his church. It is the core of our Colossians 3:13 says, “as the Lord has forgiven
identity in Christ. Forgiveness is powerful and you, so you also must forgive.” So, the starting
transformative, and yet it can be complex and point is with what our Lord does. What is
slippery. You may have a sense that “I have to forgiveness? How do I forgive? God says,
forgive,” but merely nodding to forgiveness may “Watch what I do. That’s how you’re supposed
not get you any closer to obedience. Forgiveness to do it. Model your forgiveness after mine.” It
is central—and hard to do. is essential that we see forgiveness from the
There is much confusion today as to what Lord’s perspective so that we might rightly
forgiveness is and how it is lived out. But understand and embody true forgiveness. All
Scripture says many things about forgiveness. other definitions of forgiveness do not start with
Given our sinfulness before God and our sins God and certainly never get to him.
against each other, forgiveness is a lens on the Forgiveness is not primarily for personal
entire Bible. In this article I will first unpack psychological gain. Think about the following

Forgiving others is a crucial aspect of our new life in

Christ. It is a natural and daily token of our gratitude
for his salvation.
a few defining parameters from Scripture’s statement: “Forgiveness is a gift we give
overall witness, contrasting these with some ourselves so that we can make peace with
common misunderstandings. Then I will look ourselves and move on.” This sentiment might
at the longest passage on forgiveness, Jesus’ resonate with us, but it immediately leads
parable in Matthew 18:21–35. Please note that us off course. We’ve all been there—stewing
though all of us are called to forgive others, resentfully on an offense. It’s toxic. The wrong
many of the examples used in this article are continually plays in the background of our
marital ones. Marriage is a relational context hearts whether we are actively thinking about
in which opportunities to forgive abound, but it or not. And it would be wonderful to release
the principles discussed apply broadly to other this bitterness and to move on from the injury.
relationships. At the end of the article, you Aren’t we the ones poisoning ourselves? Don’t
will find a worksheet that encourages a more we deserve this “gift” of forgiveness? But notice
personal interaction with this content. Please how the starting point is self-oriented around
use it as a resource to help you with forgiveness my peace. It is all about me—not the Holy One.
in your own life and relationships. Remember, forgiveness must start with God. It
is a spiritual reality. It is not primarily something
What Forgiveness Is and Is Not I do to move on with my life or to gain some
We hear many confusing definitions of elusive psychological well-being. We shouldn’t
forgiveness. To misunderstand forgiveness forgive only to keep ourselves from growing
brings some serious consequences. To rightly embittered in old age.
understand it brings light. So let me start with a Forgiving others flows from a relationship
simple definition. Forgiveness is a decision and a with God. Forgiving others is a crucial aspect of
promise to release a person by canceling the real our new life in Christ. It is a natural and daily
debt the person has with you. With this general token of our gratitude for his salvation. Rather
definition in mind, let’s get more specific about than being an extraordinary manifestation of
what biblical forgiveness is and what it is not. faith, it is an expected attribute of all Christ-
Forgiving others is modeled after God’s followers who have been forgiven by Christ
forgiveness of us. As followers of Christ, we himself and who now seek to imitate him.
don’t have to make up our own definition If I refuse to forgive others, my very status
of forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind with God is in question. Jesus told us to talk to
and compassionate to one another, forgiving God saying, “And forgive us our debts, as we
each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” also have forgiven our debtors.”Then in the next

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breath he says, “For if you forgive other people Forgiveness is more than a feeling; it’s
when they sin against you, your heavenly Father obedience. It’s not something we wait to do until
will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive we “feel ready” (which often feels intuitive for
others their sins, your Father will not forgive us to do). Notice that Jesus uses the imperative
your sins” (Matt 6:12, 14–15). Mark 11:25 has a (a command or exhortation) about attitudinal
similar message. The stakes are high. And the forgiveness before God: “Whenever you stand
results of refusing to forgive could not be more praying, forgive, if you have anything against
devastating. Forgiveness therefore, is less about anyone” (Mk 11:25). Notice that Jesus also uses
emotional peace and moving forward than it the imperative about transacted forgiveness
is about our relationship with God. Emotional with others: “If [your brother] sins against you
peace and well-being are related to forgiveness, seven times in a day, and turns to you seven
but they are outcomes of it, not antecedents or times, saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him”
primary motives. (Luke 17:4). This is urgent: whenever you stand

We should not wait for our feelings to catch up to our

need to forgive. They may never catch up.

Forgiveness reflects your heart attitude praying. This is a lot of forgiving: seven times
toward God and the person who sinned. in a day. This is without exception or exclusion:
Since forgiveness flows from our relationship anything against anyone. He also teaches that
with God and even reflects the status of that forgiveness has less to do with an enormous
relationship (Matt 6:12, 14–15), we are called amount of Daniel-like spirituality than it has to
to forgive those who sin against us even before do with a servant-like humility and meekness.
they request it or take responsibility for what We should not wait for our feelings to catch
they have done. Mark 11:25 says, “Whenever up to our need to forgive. They may never catch
you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything up. We must not put up with mercilessness when
against anyone.” You can forgive, even while we see it in our hearts. We must not be gentle or
you stand praying, because there are two tolerant here. Take your soul to task. Forgiveness
components to forgiveness: attitudinal and is obedience, and we should cry out to God for
transactional. We are to wrestle and quarrel help as we wrestle with a lack of desire to obey.
before God in prayer with the “attitude” of sin And if we make the decision to forgive, our
in our hearts that harbors resentment and ill will feelings most often follow our lead.
before we “transact” forgiveness with another Forgiving is not the same as forgetting.
person. Before we approach the person who We are often told that to forgive is to forget.
has sinned against us, we must approach God That saying should rightly bother us, because
and battle to have a forgiving and merciful heart. forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgetting is
If this “attitudinal forgiveness” is incomplete passive. Forgiveness is active. Forgetting occurs
or lacking, “transacting” with someone may when I’m overwhelmed, or something I do as
actually be an attempt to make this person pay I get older and my mind weakens. But how is
for what was done. It may be a way of getting a husband supposed to forget about his wife’s
revenge even though it is cloaked in an air of adultery with his best friend? Of course he will
seeking forgiveness. And it’s less likely to go well. not forget this shattering infidelity. Or how is
Aiming for a forgiving attitude means working a wife supposed to forget about her husband’s
to forgive those who sin against us in our hearts, physical and verbal abuse? Again, let’s return to
being prepared to offer mercy to the offender our starting point. Does God forget when we
if and when asked, and being ready to forgive sin? God does not forget. How could he forget?
even if reconciliation may not happen at this He’s all-knowing and does not struggle with
time. Attitudinal forgiveness paves the way for memory problems as we do.
transactional forgiveness and readies your heart So what does Jeremiah 31:34 really mean?
to fight temptations to rehash the person’s sin. “I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember

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their sin no more.”It must mean that when God this person will somehow miscommunicate
forgives us, he promises not to dwell on or think that it is “not that big of a deal” to me or to God.
about our sin. In his mind, he actively removes Truly, forgiveness does not communicate to the
our sin “as far as the east is from the west” (Ps person that it is okay to continue sinning or to
103:12). In other words, he puts our sin in the perpetuate the status quo.
rearview mirror and steps on the gas. In Isaiah Seeking forgiveness is not the same
43:25, God says, “I, I am he who blots out your as saying “I’m sorry.” It is important to
transgressions for my own sake, and I will not differentiate between saying “I’m sorry,” and
remember your sins.” Here too we see an active “Please forgive me.” Is there a difference?
refusal to call to mind our sins once they are Ask the victim. When we say we are sorry, we
forgiven. God does not forget our sins in the communicate that we feel bad about something.
same way I forget to bring the trash can in from We sadly realize that we have been the cause
the curb. He emphatically refuses to remember of another’s pain. This grief is a crucial part of
our sins against us. It’s quite different. It’s not repentance but merely feeling sorry falls short of
a matter of cognitive recall, but of core attitude taking full responsibility for having done wrong.
toward the offending person. It may only communicate that I regret that
Recently, I watched a movie that helped me the other person has been hurt. Far too often,
to understand this aspect of God’s forgiveness. saying “I’m sorry”is motivated by wanting to get
In this movie, an overwhelmed mother struggles off the hook rather than fully acknowledging
to provide for her rambunctious children. Her and accepting responsibility for a real wrong
husband is away at war and missing in action. committed. When we ask for forgiveness, we go
Over time they lose hope that he will ever return. beyond communicating sorrow or regret. We see
As they plunge into poverty, it becomes evident ourselves and our indebtedness accurately. And
that they will not be able to keep their beautiful we ask for mercy.
country estate. Finally the mother capitulates Yet experience shows each of us that it is
to an opportunistic relative and signs away the painful to ask, “Will you please forgive me?”
estate. Yet, in a moment of chaos, a bottle of ink Why? Might it be that saying these words require
spills onto the deed completely covering her us to both humbly articulate our wrong to the
signature. Although she had signed the deed, other person and take full responsibility for our
her signature is utterly blotted out. There is no sin, including accepting the consequences?
evidence of what transpired. The estate is saved Forgiving is a relational commitment. To
(and the husband returns!). In the same way, say “I forgive you” stamps “Paid In Full” across
when God forgives us, he pours ink over the the record of wrong. You cancel the debt, blot
record of our sin. He blots out our transgressions, out the record. You cannot and will not hold this
ruins the evidence, and promises never to use it sin against the offender. When you forgive, you
against us. relinquish the rights to exact payment. It’s done.
This is helpful when faced with forgiving If a person seems to be struggling with
something devastating. It shows us the nature of excessive sorrow after receiving forgiveness,
what we are doing. It is actively promising not do not let this opportunity pass without
to stew on an offense when it comes to mind. assuring this person of the reality and nature
When I forgive I make an ongoing commitment of forgiveness. Look this person in the eyes and
not to ruminate, not to obsess, and not to punish lovingly proclaim, “It is done! It’s gone! You are
this person ever again when this offense enters forgiven. God has forgiven you and cleansed
my memory. you. And I have forgiven you. We are good. I
Forgiveness is not a minimization of the do not and will not hold this against you.” Do
wrong that has been done. It does not mean not miss this chance to reaffirm your love (See
that we excuse or accept the wrong. If you are 2 Cor 2:5–11), and in doing so, you will remind
called to forgive someone then, by definition, yourself of what you have done too.
that means the offender has sinned against Forgiveness does not remove the
God and against you. There was a real wrong consequences of sin. Though forgiveness does
and a real injury. It is tempting to want to delay mean the sin will no longer be held against the
forgiveness out of the concern that forgiving offender, it doesn’t mean that the relationship

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immediately returns to where it was before the damaged by sin, but the motive in forgiveness
sin. For example, a wife may fear that forgiving is future reconciliation, not separation.
her husband who has committed adultery means Forgiveness does not guarantee a
she will immediately have to trust him again. relationship will continue. The previous
Trust takes time to rebuild. She can forgive him section points to the normal reconciliation of
and he may still have to live out consequences of relationships when the party in the wrong seeks
his sin. Consequences like making a weekly call forgiveness. But there are situations and sins
to his pastor to share his comings and goings. that call for a delay in reconciliation or even
Consequences like submitting to counseling, an intentional separation from one another.
where his deeper motivations and sin patterns This may at first seem to be in contradiction
can be addressed. to what has been already shared in this article,
It is also important to realize in this adultery but remember that situations vary and wisdom
example that trust will only come in time. That is needed.
means that forgiveness can be extended before Though we are called to forgive those who
trust is rebuilt. Since we base our forgiveness sin against us, and we must be ready and willing
on God’s forgiveness, we can biblically root this to do so (attitudinal forgiveness), pursuing
in the understanding that God does not trust relational reconciliation is complex and not
us before he forgives us. Listen to what John automatic. As a general rule, if the offender has
tells us about Jesus in John 2:24–25: “But Jesus not repented, has not acknowledged the sin,
on his part did not entrust himself to them, and does not ask for forgiveness (transactional
because he knew all people…for he himself forgiveness), reconciliation is not warranted.
knew what was in man.” God does not wait for The decision to reconcile is also impacted by the
us to be trustworthy before forgiving us. In fact, duration and severity of the sin involved.
he sees the sin deep in our hearts and knows Reconciliation may need to be delayed
that it would be foolish to entrust himself to us. because of an exceptional circumstance (e.g.,
And yet he moves toward us in the midst of our protection from immediate danger or harm, to
betrayal, guilt, and shame and offers us generous bring the offender to true repentance, etc.). But
forgiveness. We too can and do move mercifully even when reconciliation is delayed, forgiveness
toward others before we feel safe, before we is not. We still must pursue a merciful and
trust, and before we have proof of change. forgiving attitude (praying for the person who
Forgiveness is not an end in itself. It’s has sinned against us, honestly desiring this
part of a larger process of reconciliation that person’s good, imploring God to restore right
aims toward the restoration of a wounded relationship with him, etc.) while we look
relationship. If you staunchly say “I forgive you forward to reconciliation sometime in the future.
but I don’t want to have a relationship with you In certain circumstances, not creating and
anymore,” then there is no process underway. maintaining separation may facilitate and assist
Imagine if God were to say to us, “I forgive a person’s sin. A purposeful distance must be
you, but I don’t want a relationship with you motivated by a desire for God to rescue a loved
anymore. Please leave me alone. You’re on your one from a particular evil such as child abuse,
own now.” Rather, God forgives us and makes chronic deceit/lying, physical and sexual assault,
us his beloved children. He doesn’t blacklist us. adultery, drunkenness, persistent verbal and
We now belong to him as children who owe him emotional cruelty, a gambling addiction, and
an infinite debt of love. God’s forgiveness leads things like these. At times, constructive loving
to relationship, not away from relationship. kindness says“No”and waits for genuine change.
Proverbs 17:9 says, “Whoever covers an I witnessed this truth years ago working
offense seeks love.”To cover an offense is a figure with a couple. Although the husband had never
of speech for forgiveness. To cover is to draw a struck his wife with his hands, he continually
curtain over another’s sin. Here, the future goal used his words and moods in manipulative and
of forgiveness is to have goodwill toward the cruel ways. Her many attempts to help him see
sinner, to avoid alienation, to make a future his sin and its effects on her had been ineffectual.
friendship possible, and to restore community. She decisively separated from him. Maintaining
The relationship has been threatened and communication from a distance, she pleaded

50 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

with him to take his angry moods and vicious Matthew 18:21–35: Jesus Teaches Peter (and
words seriously. The impact of this woman’s Us) about Forgiveness
courageous move fell squarely on this man’s heart Before delving into this passage, it is important
and conscience. Although he had never been to note that Peter goes directly to Jesus with his
open to counseling in the past, he soon begged personal questions about forgiveness. He asks
his wife to go to marriage counseling with him. the Lord what to do, and we get the impression
In our weekly conversations, God clearly used that the situation is pretty messy. He cries out
her difficult decision for her husband’s good. We to him in distress and speaks plainly. Crying
saw the fruit of contrition and humility growing out to Jesus is a sign of deep faith. All too often,
as God worked through the painful separation Christians ask questions about forgiveness to
to restore hearing to the husband’s deaf ears everyone but the Lord. If we are going to forgive
and to soften his stony heart. Within months from the heart, crying out to Jesus when we are
their relationship was restored and they were hurt is crucial.
living together in a God-honoring way. God In response to Peter, Jesus tells a story
had used this wife’s righteous “No more!” to about mercilessness that leads us to genuine
redeem her husband from his disrespectful and forgiveness. There is no deeper analysis available
pernicious ways. on forgiveness.
In these situations, it is always wise to seek Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how
godly counsel and the assistance of church often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive
leadership. When trust is deeply broken, him? As many as seven times?” (Matt 18:21).
restoration is often a lengthy process largely Immediately, we lean in hoping to overhear
determined by the changing attitudes and Jesus’ response. We know exactly what he is
actions of the abuser. Words and tears are not talking about. Do you see Peter’s suffering in this
and will never be enough to restore trust. When question? He is not speaking theoretically. Other
an abusive person genuinely repents, there is an people batter him, and we can identify with that.
understanding and acceptance that rebuilding Peter does not and cannot trust his nearest and
trust will take time. Restoration in these situations dearest brother. Being wronged once would be
requires clarity of confession, authenticity in enough, but it happens repeatedly. These sins
repentance, taking responsibility, and restitution against Peter hurt him, aggravate him, weary
when appropriate. him. Essentially, Peter asks, “When can I start to
When we look at the story of Joseph in put up boundaries between my brother and me?
Genesis 42–45, we see an example of someone When can I start to protect myself? When can I
who had forgiven his brothers for their severe say, ‘Enough is enough!’ When can I walk away
sin against him (attitudinal forgiveness). But from this toxic person?” We all identify with the
Joseph wisely withheld reconciliation until they pain and frustration. He’s been hurt, and he’s
acknowledged their sins and expressed true asking an earnest question. Now listen to how
remorse. Joseph strongly desires to be reunified to Jesus, the Lamb of God, responds.
his family, but refrains from restoring relationship Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven
with them until they bear real fruit “in keeping times, but seventy times seven1” (Matt 18:22).
with repentance” (Matt 3:8). This fruit comes in Do you see what Jesus does here? He too
the form of changed attitudes, new desires, and speaks plainly. He says, “Peter, this is where I’m
self-sacrificing behavior that promotes others’ going. This is what I desire for you. I want you to
well-being. be profoundly and persistently merciful. I want
These parameters for forgiveness do not you to be unrestrained in your forgiveness.” As
answer every question, nor do they address the you can imagine, Peter is stunned. Maybe he is
particulars of complex situations. Remember, even offended. “Yeah Jesus, forgiveness sounds
these circumstances require wise pastoral like a lovely idea until you have something to
guidance and oversight. Now that forgiveness forgive. You don’t know how hard this has been.
has been more clearly defined and considered, Do you know what it’s like to…” And you can
let’s tune in to a conversation between Peter and almost hear Peter as he thinks, “Jesus, there are
Jesus as they discuss forgiveness. some repeated offenses that no sane person
would continue to forgive.”

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 Make no mistake. Jesus definitely is saying Can you see why Jesus takes Peter back to
that we are to be extravagantly forgiving. But he Lamech’s vengeful boast? He’s saying, “Peter,
knows something about Peter (and the rest of us before you can forgive your brother, you must
as well). Remember John 2:25.“He himself knew know something about yourself. You too desire
what was in man.” Where might Jesus get this safety, self-protection, and vengeance.”And this
number (seventy times seven)?1 Is it just a random is what unwillingness to forgive is all about—
number? I don’t think so. Jesus may be alluding to securing safety, ensuring self-protection, and
another Bible story that Peter has known since he retaliation. The more we look at Lamech, the
was a child. In fact, it was probably one of the first more we see our proud selves.
stories that Peter’s parents told him when he was Because refusing to forgive is about self-
a boy. The first time this number was used was in protection and revenge, we must be willing
a different context—in a context of revenge. We to test ourselves if we are unwilling to forgive.

Because refusing to forgive is about self-protection

and revenge, we must be willing to test ourselves if we
are unwilling to forgive. Can you articulate why you
refuse to forgive this person?
read about it in Genesis 4:23–24. “Lamech said Can you articulate why you refuse to forgive this
to his wives: ‘Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; you person? Naming these hidden motives helps us
wives of Lamech, listen to what I say: I have killed to see clearly what controls us. It reveals what
a man for wounding me, a young man for striking our hearts deeply desire. Typically, refusing to
me. If Cain’s revenge is seven fold, then Lamech’s is forgive is not complex.
seventy-sevenfold.” Jesus is clear with Peter and with those
You know the backstory: Adam and Eve of us looking over his shoulder. Jesus says,
have two children—Cain and Abel. Cain murders “I’ve come to reverse this tendency toward
Abel. God punishes Cain; he will have to be a retaliation and self-protection. My desire for
fugitive and wander the earth. But Cain is afraid you is to entrust yourself to me and to deeply
that others might kill him. So God places a mark forgive others.”And Jesus is worthy of our trust.
on Cain and promises that if anyone should kill His sovereign hand is in the course of events
Cain, God’s vengeance would be sevenfold. In and over our lives. We may not understand
other words, he says, “Do not be afraid Cain, I God’s plan. When another person “means
will protect you.” Now, Lamech is one of Cain’s evil against” us, “God means it for good” (Gen
descendants by seven generations and seems to 50:20). He even uses another’s sin against us in
resemble him, but is even more godless. redemptive ways. It is God’s will, not the will
So what is Lamech doing as he boasts to his of people who hurt us, that is the controlling
wives? He is comforting them by overstating his reality in the details of our lives. If God isn’t
protection of them—far greater than even God’s sovereign, then bitterness, self-protection, and
promise of protection of Cain. Lamech promises revenge make sense. But when we perceive
to erect an impenetrable boundary between his and embrace God’s sovereignty, we are able to
family and other unsafe people. But look how forgive even the deepest wrongs. This is why
Lamech’s response is completely disproportionate we cannot bear a grudge or take revenge. This
to the injury. A “young man” struck him, and he is at the heart of forgiveness.
responds by murdering the boy. This is not justice. At this point you may be thinking, “Well
This is over-the-top revenge. Do you see how I know that Jesus wants me to forgive ______.
Lamech proudly boasts of safety, protection, and But it’s not that easy. I don’t have forgiveness
revenge to his wives? There is no sovereign God for this person. I’m too hurt and too angry. I
in Lamech’s story—only pride. He doesn’t stop to don’t like this person.”And it’s here where Jesus
ask the Lord what he should do. He goes straight says,“ Let me tell you another story. Things will
from being wounded to striking back. become clearer as you listen.”

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 Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold,
compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his wife and children and all that he had, and
with his servants (Matt 18:23). payment to be made (Matt 18:24–25).
Jesus is full of surprises. You’d think he After setting the context, Jesus tells us
would assess Peter’s situation by asking about that the King settles accounts. In other words,
what happened, or how wrong and hurtful the there is a day of reckoning—and it starts with
offense was, or who it was and how frequently the household of God. This is where we (and
it had occurred. But he doesn’t. He starts by Peter) make our way into Jesus’ story. We are his
telling a story about the kingdom of heaven and servants and we all have debts with the King.
a king. This response astonishes us. Jesus starts Now, just how big is this debt? It’s enormous,
by reorienting Peter and reminding him that unimaginable, and unpayable. One talent was
he lives in God’s kingdom. And the King is on equivalent to twenty years of wages for the
the throne. As the story unfolds, it will become average laborer. Ten thousand talents is ten
increasingly clear that all of us fall into the thousand times twenty annual salaries. This is
category of “his servants.” We must never lose billions of dollars in today’s terms. Jesus’ point is
sight of the reality that there are many servants clear: we each must apprehend, fathom, and feel
but only one King. this unpayable debt we have with God. When
Isn’t it true that when I refuse to forgive, I we move into this awareness, our hearts soften
act as if I were the king? In my heart I take the in clarity, humility, and gratitude.
place of God. And I respond in defense of my But why would Jesus use such a large
kingdom. But we must remember and humbly number? I think Jesus uses this enormous
believe that we live in God’s kingdom. He is the number because he has to wake us up. He
King. We are merely unworthy servants in God’s magnifies our sin in the same way a telescope
kingdom. This is why Jesus reminds us to speak magnifies an object, and we are able perceive the
to our Father saying, “Your kingdom come, your object more accurately.2 What was once far away
will be done.” Jesus knows that we are all about is brought near. And now that the magnitude
our kingdoms. And when we are concerned of your debt is clearer, can you imagine trying
with our own kingdoms, we fiercely seek our to repay it? Even if you sell yourself, your
own protection and our own vigilante justice. spouse, your kids, your house, your cars, your
Again, Jesus reminds us, “Remember where camper, liquidate your retirement and all your
you live. Remember who you are. Remember savings accounts—it still would only be a drop
who the King is—he’s your father. And he’s still in the bucket toward paying back this debt! We
on the throne. He cares for you. You are very don’t believe or grasp this reality. We often live
valuable to him. He sees and knows. He is just. unconscious of the load of our guilt. But we
He will repay. Leave room for his wrath. You are each have a massive debt of sin with God that
merely servants.” continues to grow. We cannot catch up. When
When we are deeply hurt and betrayed by Jesus speaks of the master ordering his servant
our spouses—when trust is broken, we must go to be sold along with his wife and children and
before the King. Remember, this is important all that he has, he is not being angry or sharp.
if you are going to forgive from the heart. We The master does become angry, but not until the
could say, “If you want to forgive your spouse, end of Jesus’ story. At the beginning, the master
first forget your spouse. Go to the Lord.” You is mercifully trying to awaken his servant—to
are not the King and you no longer live for your transform him so that he might know the weight
kingdom. This is what Joseph tells his brothers of his guilt and turn in humility, gentleness,
when they ask him to forgive them. Joseph and kindness.
says, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of But herein lies the problem: if we don’t
God?”(Gen 50:19). Joseph humbly sees himself know and understand the immensity of our own
rightly. He is a servant, not the King. And in debts of sin, we don’t have a chance of having
this, he is able to forgive his brothers. You too forgiving hearts. Most of us think we’re pretty
are a fellow servant. nice people. We think we’re a little better than
When he began to settle, one was brought to average, or at least better than the person who
him who owed him 10,000 talents. And since he sinned against us. We’re full of spiritual pride and

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self-righteousness. When a loved one wrongs In light of this servant’s request, it is even
us, we deeply believe that we “would never do more shocking that the king generously and
that!” For the most part, we’re absolutely dull to mercifully releases him from the debt. The
the height and depth and breadth of our sin. We king actually gives him far more than he asks
are unschooled in our own wretchedness, while for. Why would the king do such a thing? In
living under an illusion of our own goodness. Scripture there are very few examples of perfect
And when we are blind to the magnitude of our apologies. And yet God’s word is full of examples
sin, all we see is our neighbor’s sins. His sins of extravagant forgiveness. Truly, we are forgiven
look bigger than ours, and we feel better about not based on the perfection of our confession
ourselves. As a result, we deal harshly with other and contrition, but on Christ’s gift to us. The
sinners, while being blind to the fact that our only sense we can make of this outrageous act
debts are just as sizable. is that the king is compassionate, sympathetic,

If we don’t know and understand the immensity of

our own debts of sin, we don’t have a chance of having
forgiving hearts.
What shall we do then? We must pray. merciful, and gracious. The motive must come
We pray that God would give us grief for our from who he is. When Jesus says, “out of pity for
sin. We ask that he would make us know him,”we realize that forgiveness comes from the
something of how much we owe and make tender heart of the Forgiver, not the merit of the
our own forgiveness more precious to us. sinner. Isaiah makes a precious and mysterious
When we are faced with the need to forgive, we declaration of God’s glorious goodness. “I, I
must remember and behold who we are: mere am he who blots out your transgressions for
servants who have enormous debts with the my own sake” (Is 43:25). For his own sake? God
King—debts that are absolutely unpayable. forgives us because he is gloriously merciful and
So the servant fell on his knees, imploring gracious. The reason for his mercy is located in
him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you himself, not within us. He takes great pleasure
everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of in forgiving because it brings his name praise,
that servant released him and forgave him the debt glory, and fame.
(Matt 18:26–27). If hope lies in ourselves—that we are good
What just happened?! Did you hear what enough, that we can grow enough to work
the servant asks for? He wants a payment plan. our way out of debt with God, or that we are
But there is absolutely no way he can pay his morally superior to others—then forgiveness
debt back! He is a servant, not a king. He buses will again be elusive. Self-righteousness is
tables at the local diner. He’s a paperboy. Despite poison to forgiveness. It is the “white devil” of
his lowly status, when the King says that he has spiritual sins,3 the wellspring of mercilessness.
an unpayable debt, the servant begs to differ. Forgiveness is possible if our only hope is that
This is where forgiveness short-circuits. the King is merciful and gracious and that he has
This servant underestimates his debt and compassionately released us and cancelled our
actually believes that he can eventually pay it off. debts of sin. True forgiveness springs from the
Therefore he asks for a payment extension, not unspeakable preciousness of God’s mercy and
debt cancellation. He is delusional in thinking acceptance in Christ.
his sin is not all that bad. His hope does not lie in But when that same servant went out, he
the King cancelling his debt. It lies in working his found one of his fellow servants who owed him a
way out of his debt. But after a lifetime of trying hundred denarii (Matt 18:28).
on his own, he will not have even put a dent in So what happens next? Well, as soon as
his debt. At this point, we don’t need Jesus to he steps out of the king’s presence, he goes
finish his story. We could finish it ourselves. We looking for a “fellow servant,” another person
know this story is not going to end well. in the same boat. And this fellow servant has a

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debt with him of 100 denarii. Jesus says that this The second servant requests the very same
servant goes out and finds another servant who thing that the first servant asks for. But it is as
owes him about $10,000. if the first servant does not even recognize or
I am so thankful that Jesus says 100 denarii respect the very words that brought about his
($10,000) and not “a quarter of a denarius”($25). own salvation. With these exact words he had
100 denarii hurts! It’s a real debt. When we sin been delivered from a debt of 10,000 talents!
against one another, it’s painful. Other people He does not recognize the identical request
suffer when we sin, and we suffer when they sin. that brought immense compassion and mercy
In Jesus’ choice of 100 denarii, he communicates to him. As a result of this amnesia, his response
that he knows that we sin against one another— could not have been more different. The king is
and that sin has real consequences. He doesn’t merciful and generous. The unforgiving servant
minimize the impact on us or pat us on the head is ruthless and stingy. Tragically, the king’s
and say, “Come on now. You are being petty. It compassion has had no effect on the unforgiving
is just a peccadillo.” With this debt, Jesus reveals servant’s soul.
his sympathy toward the impact of our suffering Unfortunately, we can all identify. We are so
when a person sins against us. He really hurt by another’s sin that the mercy that we’ve
does understand.4 been shown flies from our hearts and minds.
…and seizing him, he began to choke him, We react and mistreat others. I counseled a
saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant young married woman who had been pursued
fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience romantically by a spiritual mentor. It happened
with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went slowly and subtly over time. Thankfully, she
and put him in prison until he should pay the debt was able to stop him from pursuing her by
(Matt 18:28–30). approaching the leadership in the church. But
How dare he treat another servant in this she had been hurt. She didn’t feel comfortable
way! Did he already forget that his debt was paid around him. He had betrayed her trust and used
in full? That is impossible! Forgiveness on this her for his own desires. But then there came a
scale is not something we ever forget. He never time when God called her to forgive her mentor.
knew what it was to be forgiven in the first place. As we looked at this parable, she began to weep
It is as if he has a terminal illness, yet feels no and said, “He really did hurt me. But I have
pain. He disassociates from the deadly disease. responded just like this unforgiving servant.
Somehow he doesn’t feel the weight of his debt. All this time I have been on my high horse
Somehow he has presumed upon, felt entitled demanding that he come crawling to me on his
to, and deserving of the master’s mercy—as if knees begging my pardon. I wanted him to pay
he is worthy of the master’s compassion. But for what he’d done…to be humiliated in front of
whose debt moves him? Whose debt disturbs the church. But I now see that we are in the same
him? His fellow servant’s debt is more real than boat. I too have a debt with the King. Who am I
his own. In his heart, his fellow servant is less to demand payment?”
deserving of mercy. This is what we do when we Do you see what happened? This woman
do not understand our own debt—when our was hurt by her mentor’s selfish sin. Afterward,
hope is in ourselves and our goodness and not she turned and sought revenge. But part of the
in a merciful God who forgives sinners. We are reconciliation that took place was her asking her
sinned against, wronged, and hurt. In return, we mentor for forgiveness for her proud and self-
strangle the people who hurt us by demanding righteous attitude. She had been victimized. But
repayment. We are shown compassionate then she turned and became a victimizer. We are
mercy, and yet we are ruthless with others. We not so different. We have been sinned against, and
decidedly stay bitter, resentful, and angry. We then we sin by strangling, demanding repayment,
withdraw, avoid eye contact, and walk around and incarcerating others in our hearts forever, or
the house in cold silence. Or we are seduced by until the debt is paid to our satisfaction. This is
self-pity and destructively accuse and counter- what refusing to forgive looks like.
attack. Our hearts wear blinders that fix our Unfortunately, our mercilessness is not a
eyes upon another’s debt to us. Forgiveness private affair. It affects others. This is where Jesus
seems impossible. goes next.

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 When his fellow servants saw what had taken that we cannot and will not and do not desire
place, they were greatly distressed, and they went to strangle and demand payment from others.
and reported to their master all that had taken What is Jesus attempting at this point
place (Matt 18:31). in his story? Is he guilt-tripping us into
Bitterness and resentment do not stay forgiving? No. Neither is he shaming us by
hidden. People are watching. Your children are saying, “You should know better!” Rather, he
watching. Your friends, family, and neighbors is both comforting us and warning us, “If you
are watching. And these onlookers are servants are my child, this is who you are—forgiven.
who also have debts of their own. What do they You personally know forgiveness and you are
see? They know if your heart is a storehouse of a generously forgiving person—even in this.”
animosity and revenge. Your children painfully If we are not a forgiving people, are we really
watch as you strangle one another and demand Christians at all? Christians, at the heart, are a
payment. Are they “greatly distressed,” fearful, people who can never forget that we have been
or despairing as they witness the bitterness forgiven a debt that we could never repay. And
on display? Are they hardening their hearts we, who know our own forgiveness, cannot not
toward God as they helplessly and hopelessly forgive. Forgiven people are forgiving people.
experience your refusal to forgive? Can you And in anger his master delivered him to the
imagine your children, in the privacy of their jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also
prayers, going to God in distress, reporting my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if
what they see, and crying themselves to sleep you do not forgive your brother from your heart
because of what they witness in your marriage? (Matt 18:34–35).
Refusing to forgive someone has a demoralizing Don’t forget whom Jesus is speaking to.
and disheartening impact on those who know At this point in Jesus’ story, it’s natural to lose
and love you. sight of his audience. He’s not addressing the
Then his master summoned him and said to Pharisees or Sadducees or unbelievers. He’s
him, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that speaking to Peter and to his closest friends!
debt because you pleaded with me. And should not This is an intimate conversation with his closest
you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I companions. He is speaking to us, his beloved.
had mercy on you?” (Matt 18:32–33). Forgiveness is serious business, and he wants his
Jesus says, “I forgave you all that debt… friends to know this.
because you pleaded with me.” Again, Jesus Some people consider God’s forgiveness to
restates what he’s already emphasized. “You be unconditional, but it is not. Our forgiveness
didn’t pay back anything! You didn’t work off is conditioned upon our forgiving others. It is
anything! You didn’t deserve anything! All not a precondition, but it is an after-condition,
you did was ask me for mercy. I was the One an evidence, a fruit. It shows we are his. Its
who paid this debt. Don’t dupe yourself into presence shows that we are passing on to
believing that somehow you paid this thing others what we have received. Its absence calls
off. You did nothing…but plead. Please don’t our salvation into question. Notice that Jesus
treat the person who sinned against you any says,“my heavenly Father”and not “our Father.”
differently than I treated you. Instead show this At this point, Jesus is making distinctions.
person mercy reflecting the truth that someone He’s separating the sheep from the goats, his
else paid your debt.” children from strangers.
We must know the greatness of our debt When our hearts continue to withhold
with God and believe the greatness of God’s forgiveness from others, we can be sure that we
forgiveness for us. How do we nurture forgiving arouse God’s just wrath when we despise his
hearts? It’s in entering the throne room good gift. God does not generously give to us
and spending time there. It’s in seeing and so that we might waste it by spending it all on
remembering our unpayable debt with God ourselves. His purpose is that out of the riches
and hearing his words over and over again, “I of his forgiveness we give generously to serve
release you and forgive you from all this debt.” the community. If our hearts are withdrawn
As we behold our forgiveness, God changes and miserly, it is a wake-up call to reconsider
our hearts so that they are so full of gratitude our faith commitment. It is an eternally

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significant warning for those with a stubborn situations and conflicts arise in our lives. We, the
unwillingness to forgive. church, proclaim God’s forgiveness in Christ
Jesus ends this intimate conversation by as we humbly and gratefully do the work of
summarizing the nature of the forgiveness his forgiveness in the community. Without this,
Father requires—forgiveness “from your heart.” forgiveness grows distant and stale and is in
The entire soul must be in agreement. Our danger of being trivialized as something merely
minds must concur. Our spirits must be willing. historical, psychological, or irrelevant.
There is nothing superficial or manipulative God forgives us for his own sake—for his
about forgiveness. It is hard and costly, but we own magnificent glory. And when we forgive
must be devoted to this work. others their sins, we too reflect this glory.
Let’s end by returning to Lamech. Remember Proverbs 19:11 says it is a person’s “glory to
him from Genesis 4? He boasted, “Listen to what overlook an offense.” Forgiveness, therefore, is
I say: I have killed a man for wounding me, a young like wearing an elegant adornment that reflects
man for striking me. If Cain’s revenge is sevenfold, great beauty, honor, and distinction. When we
then Lamech’s is seventy-sevenfold.” Jesus doesn’t forgive others, the watching world delights in us,
come right out and say this, but in effect we hear is drawn toward Christ’s bride, and ultimately
another boast in Jesus’ story. And it’s this: “Now toward Christ himself. May we reflect this glory
listen to what I say. You were the man who struck as we forgive from the heart.
me. You were the one who wounded me. And I, the _______________________________________
King, was killed so that you might die to the hard 1 Or seventy-seven times.
2 I have borrowed and adapted this helpful “telescope
heartedness that refuses to forgive others. I was
magnification” metaphor from a sermon on Psalm
killed so that you might live and live to forgive. I 69:30–32 by John Piper, titled I Will Magnify God with
promise you, if your forgiveness is sevenfold, then Thanksgiving!, November 23, 1980.
my forgiveness is seventy-sevenfold.” 3 The White Devil, written by John Webster in 1612, is
a play that explores the difference between how we see
From Your Heart…Forgive ourselves as good, pure, or“white,”and the reality of who
In conclusion, forgiveness must be more than we really are.
something we remember and proclaim from the 4 I am grateful to Tim Lane for this insight from his
minibook, Forgiving Others: Joining Love and Wisdom
past (whether on Calvary, or our own salvation).
(Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2005).
It must be freshly enacted each day as concrete

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 “From Your Heart…Forgive” Worksheet

1) Before reading this article, how did you define forgiveness?

2) Are you encouraged or discouraged knowing that forgiving others is to be modeled after
God’s forgiveness? Explain.

3) What is the purpose of God’s forgiveness? Why does God forgive? What about forgiveness is
a component of God’s character and relationship with us?

4) When we say, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors,”what are we asking for?


5) What is the risk in waiting to “feel ready” to forgive someone?


6) If forgiveness is not forgetting and must be an active process (like refusing to remember or
blotting out a record), what might this look like practically in your situation?


7) How often do others hear you ask,“Will you please forgive me?” Why are these words so
difficult to say?


8) Have you ever made trust a prerequisite to forgiving another person? How might doing so
delay forgiveness?

9) When we are hurt, it is tempting to “forgive,” yet avoid the person in the future. How is this
wrong in the reconciliation of normal conflicts?

10) Can you think of some ways you have avoided true reconciliation with someone you have
been called to forgive?

11) What are some ways you could start to pursue true reconciliation with that person today?

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58 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

12) When would it be right to distance yourself from a person who is sinning against you?

13) How do you know you have truly forgiven a person even though reconciliation is delayed?

14) How can intentionally creating distance in a relationship be motivated by a desire to reconcile?

15) What does forgiveness look like when reconciliation has not yet occurred?

Matthew 18:21–35

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive
him? As many as seven times?”

16) Think about a current (maybe ongoing) situation where someone has pointedly wronged you
What happened, and how did it affect you?


Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”

17) How do Jesus’ words strike you?

Lamech said to his wives: “Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; you wives of Lamech, listen to what I say:
I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for striking me. If Cain’s revenge is seven fold, then
Lamech’s is seventy-sevenfold.”(Gen 4:23–24)

18) Lamech was motivated by revenge and self-protection. What are your underlying motivations
when you withhold forgiveness?


19) When you feel hurt, how is it a comfort to refuse to forgive?


20) If you took to heart God’s promise to use another’s sins against you for your good, how would
this release you to forgive this person?

Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle
accounts with his servants.

21) In your refusal to be merciful, how have you seen yourself as a “king” and not as a “fellow
unworthy” servant?

©CCEF 2012

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 59

22) What does it mean to “leave room” for God’s wrath (Rom 12:19)?

23) When you don’t leave room for God to be the arbiter and judge, what do you tend to do?

When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. And since he could not
pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had,
and payment to be made.

24) What does this imply about your debt to God?

25) How does self-righteousness (seeing yourself as a pretty good person who is morally better
than another) weaken your willingness and ability to forgive?

So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you
everything.” And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

26) God does not wait for us to “deserve” or “earn” forgiveness. How does knowing this help you
fight against the temptation to withhold forgiveness until a person “earns” or “deserves” it?

But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred
denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, “Pay what you owe.” So his fellow servant fell
down and pleaded with him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.” He refused and went and
put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

27) How is it possible that God’s mercy had little effect on the servant’s heart toward others?

28) How are you stingy when it comes to showing mercy to others? How have you “punished,
exacted payment, and imprisoned” a person who sinned against you?

29) Alternatively, have you ever minimized another’s sin against you hoping to make forgiveness
easier? What are the potential drawbacks of minimizing the sin?

When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and
reported to their master all that had taken place.

30) Who has witnessed your bitterness and resentment? How do you think this has affected them?

©CCEF 2012

60 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

Then his master summoned him and said to him, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt
because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had
mercy on you?”

31) Do you feel you have a heart “full of gratitude” for God’s mercy? If yes, how did this happen?
How can you ensure that your grateful heart continues to grow?

If no, how can you actively participate in the Lord’s work to grow a heart of gratitude?

And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my
heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.

32) God forgives you based on what condition?

33) Practically, how do you waste God’s forgiveness by “spending it all” on yourself?


34) Thinking about a present situation, what is the next step God is calling you to? Attitudinal
forgiveness? Transactional forgiveness? Reconciliation?

©CCEF 2012

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 61

C ouns e lo r ’s To o lb o x

How Do You Counsel

Non-Christians?

by J. Alasdair Groves

Biblical counseling carries out the Great a first step toward God and toward the true
Commission in personal conversations about humanness he desires in all of us.
significant personal struggles or hardships. What better way to learn how to counsel
Probably the question counseling students ask non-Christians than to study how Jesus himself
most frequently is, “How then do you counsel counseled those who did not believe? Our goal
a non-Christian—someone who does not in this article will be to watch him carefully
accept the authority of the Bible or the lordship in conversations with unbelievers, to grasp
of Christ?” his fundamental orientation in ministry, and
I have had the opportunity to counsel with finally to draw out practical implications for our
a number of non-Christians, so I understand own context.
this challenge from personal experience. Can
I (or should I) help someone who is not a What Does Jesus Do?
disciple of Jesus when my entire approach to Think about the ministry of Jesus. He is
hope and healing depends on his power, love, incredibly consistent. Jesus’ teaching always
and command? If we do not both submit to revolves around the same core issues: ungodly
the Scriptures, has my most vital tool been loyalties, how to treat other people, the
taken away? interpretation of suffering, a call to change,
Not at all! and the importance of finding hope that is true
Instead, the Bible itself demonstrates and reliable.
how to engage non-Christians in counseling What is interesting is that he offers the
conversations. It invites us to know Christ— same message both to those who believe and
his character, actions, and passions—and be serve God, and to those who do not. Jesus also
transformed by relationship with him. And heals and shows kindness to both groups. In
because the Bible is designed to create this fact, Jesus often uses gifts of kindness (e.g.,
personal and intimate bond, it has implications feeding the 5000) to stir faith, loyalty, and
for every aspect of our human experience. For transformation in the hearts of unbelievers.
this reason, any situation or struggle in any When we overhear Jesus in personal
person’s life can become a turning point for conversations with people who do not believe
in him (yet?), we find that he is still after all
___________________________________________ these same things. However, even a brief
J. Alasdair Groves (M.Div.) is director of counseling at survey of such conversations reveals that Jesus’
CCEF New England and serves as assistant faculty approach varies depending on the individual
at CCEF.
and the situation.

62 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

 Consider the range of Jesus’ ministry across 4. The rich young ruler comes with a
five examples: question too (Mark 10:17–27). But where Jesus
1. Jesus starts a conversation with the answered Nicodemus’ question at its core, Jesus
woman at the well quite shockingly by asking her senses more self-justification than genuine
for something (John 4:4–26). He puts her in the curiosity. We are told that Jesus “looked at him
position to help him. He reverses the direction of and loved him.” He demonstrates his love by
helper and person being helped, putting himself giving him a “homework assignment” that puts
in a place of humility and her in the position a spotlight on the glaring gap between his stated
of being needed. (I have found that counselees theology and his functional theology. (Timely
almost always appreciate it when I am willing homework often opens up the problem behind
to ask them for help with something.) Having the presenting problem.) With this assignment,
initiated, Jesus then lets her lead. He responds Jesus challenges him to re-arrange his life, but
to the issues she raises, but always with personal not by reflecting on Scripture or focusing on
concern for her. This contrasts with the arms- his identity as a child of God. Rather, he bids
length theological debate she tries to maintain. for the rich young ruler to take an action that
When she is defensive—a natural posture for a will force him to confront his true life priorities,
Samaritan woman in the presence of a Jewish allegiances, and ultimate hope.
rabbi—he gives an invitation to receive blessing. 5. Finally, the Pharisees (often) come with
When he finally does address her lifestyle of a hostile agenda. They also have questions, but
sin, he does so by simply naming the facts. their questions are nothing more than traps.
Jesus is extremely gentle with a flagrant sinner Jesus confronts them with incisive directness.
who is edgy, contentious, confused, wary— He demands that they see the evil in the motives
and desperate. behind their seemingly righteous actions and
2. Zaccheus is a shamed, despised traitor innocent questions. (When a counselee is being
who seems embarrassingly eager to see Jesus malicious or manipulative, tell the simple truth.)
(Luke 19:1–10). Jesus’ ministry to him is a They are blind to their own sin, so Jesus responds
simple dinner invitation. The conversation with by choosing the most vivid language he can
Jesus is unrecorded—apparently it is enough find—e.g., “whitewashed tombs” and “brood
for us to see Jesus move toward Zaccheus with of vipers” (Matt 23:27–28, 33)—in an effort to
unexpected grace. (Indeed, simple kindness can shock them out of their self-righteous stupor.
be a powerful tool when counseling those whose Jesus cares enough about them to engage their
experience is filled with enemies or people who most dire need, even as they try to destroy him
have no time or care for them.) Whatever was and his ministry.
said, the unearned, un-looked for, unimaginable While there are patterns in these five
honor Jesus shows Zaccheus moves him to examples, there is no formula. No system
change. He who had been an extorter, valuing can reduce ministry with unbelievers to three
his own wealth above his countrymen’s principles or eight sequential steps. With one
friendship, responds to Jesus’ kindness with person, Jesus asks for help and engages in
radical ownership of his sin that explodes into friendly sparring; with one he moves toward;
full restitution. with another he talks about the question at
3. Nicodemus risks his social prestige by hand; with another he probes and tests; with still
coming to Jesus (John 3:1–21). He is genuinely another he confronts.
looking for understanding. Jesus puts his finger Jesus bids for the ultimate allegiance of every
on the core issue and gives Nicodemus a direct one of these people. But he does not demand
answer to his true question: “Are you the real that his conversation partners accept the gospel
thing?” (Honoring someone often means before he talks with them. Instead, he constantly
answering sincere questions directly.) Jesus establishes the relevance of the gospel for them
explains that his ministry is indeed from God, personally, knowing that without it they will
and God’s work is as obvious as trees bending continue to walk away from him. And so he
in a wind. Jesus presses Nicodemus to draw the engages these unbelievers on a wide variety of
logical conclusion from his own observations issues. He does not hesitate to talk about their
about the authenticity of Jesus’ ministry. behavior or address their questions, anxieties,

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 63

troubles, or purposes. The contours of the world Did any of those hostile Pharisees later repent?
that each unbeliever lives in dramatically shape We don’t know, and that’s the point. We are to
the way in which the gospel will be heard sow the seed thoughtfully and leave the results
for what it is: genuinely good news. Our goal, in God’s hands.
then, when counseling a non-Christian is a This uncertainty is one of the great
love unswervingly oriented to the riches of the complexities of Christian ministry. In the
gospel, yet as creative and flexible as Christ’s majority of counseling situations, you will have
own ministry when he walked among us. some evidence as to whether a person is truly
following Christ or not, but you will never know
Jesus Lives out the Parable of the Sower a person’s eternal state with full certainty, even
Jesus’ example clearly teaches us that we are when there is a profession of faith. Thankfully,
to take intentional conversations about life counseling ministry does not depend on having
problems (counseling) with non-Christians this certainty.

Our goal when counseling a non-Christian is a

love unswervingly oriented to the riches of the
gospel, yet as creative and flexible as Christ’s own
ministry when he walked among us.

on a case-by-case basis. Both in public and in This means that what happens in counseling
private ministry of the Word, however, he is non-Christians should look very similar to
operating from a framework we can identify. what happens in counseling Christians! The
That framework is the parable of the sower (Mark seeds Jesus sows with his disciples are not
4:1–20). Jesus sowed the same seeds with crowds categorically different than the seeds he sows
and individuals, with those who loved him and with outsiders. A wise counselor helps believers
those who rejected and conspired against him. and non-believers see themselves more clearly
The seed was a simple call to repent—to turn in order to relevantly point them toward Jesus,
from what is evil in God’s sight and to embrace who is not only the Lord but also Savior, Good
what God loves, especially his mercy and grace— Shepherd, King, Friend, Brother, Lover, Judge,
because the Kingdom was coming. Jesus always and Refuge. With believers and non-believers,
sowed the same seed (i.e., the same message) you are trying to know a specific individual and
and sowed in all types of soil (i.e., to different discern where God is calling and wooing. In
people), but he tailored his delivery precisely to both cases you’ll be challenging false notions
each individual, knowing exactly what would be about who God is and how he works. In both
most relevant and compelling. cases you’ll be affirming the good and right
Jesus sowed seeds differently, but we don’t questions, concerns, and truths they are already
know for certain how each seed grew—or didn’t bringing to the table. The difference between
grow—in each person. These stories don’t tell us Christians and non-Christians is fundamental:
about the precise spiritual state (and sometimes regeneration. Those with ears to hear will hear;
the ultimate decision) of the person Jesus is those whose ears are stopped up will not hear.
talking to. Was the conversation with the rich The transformation of heart and action that the
young ruler wasted? What was Nicodemus counselor recommends—through the seeds the
seeking when he came to talk to Jesus that night? counselor sows—will be the same.
Was he a man who feared God but had significant
struggles, or was he only seeking God’s stamp Following Jesus in the Details of Counseling
of approval on his self-made kingdom? Did How then do you sow seeds wisely with a person
Zaccheus experience a true conversion, or was who does not believe in Christ as Lord?
he re-dedicating his life to God? What did the First, I will offer three orienting perspectives
Samaritan woman do with the rest of her life? to help you frame your approach to a given

64 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

individual. Each of these reveals a palette of • What do they dwell on as they fall asleep?
colors you can apply to the specific variables of • What keeps them from sleeping, or comes
any situation. Second, I’ll answer three of the to mind in the middle of the night?
most frequently asked practical questions about Questions that pinpoint behaviors:
biblical counseling with non-Christians. • What patterns do their behaviors tend
to follow?
Three Orienting Perspectives • What are their temptations, failures,
1. Don’t forget the obvious: know and love and fears?
the person. Counseling a non-Christian involves • What are they currently doing to address
building a friendship. Get to know this person. the problems that have brought them to
Ask questions. Express appreciation. Show see you?
tenderness and compassion. Share things about • What do they think would solve
yourself. Spend time. Listen attentively. Discern their problem?
what is important. Notice strengths as well as Questions that reveal allegiances:
failings. Ask how someone is really doing, and • What do they desire?
mean it. This question, asked with genuine • What are their goals and motives?
interest, is a precious gift. If you can care about • What“voices”—true or false—do they listen
a friend who is not a Christian, why should to as authoritative for interpreting life?
counseling be any different? Jesus looked at the • What do they love?
rich young ruler and“loved him.”We must know • What are they addicted to?
and love this person living in separation from • What are they trusting in?
God, just as Christ loved us when we walked • Where does their hope lie?
in darkness. These questions will help you draw people out so
2. Help the person look in the mirror. Help they see more clearly who they really are.
people see themselves accurately. No one does These four categories immediately lend
this instinctively. The questions, comments, and themselves to a biblical reinterpretation of life. If
reflections you offer have a purpose. They guide they can accurately describe what their lives are
non-Christians to articulate their world and fundamentally about, they are starting to track
simultaneously begin to reinterpret it. Here are in God’s world already. True self-knowledge is a
four categories of questions you might ask1: great gift which necessarily exposes people to the
Questions that bring out good that is nature of their deepest allegiances and the actions
already present: that flow from those allegiances.2 If they cannot
• Where are they putting others ahead see themselves accurately, “holding up the mirror”
of themselves? may help start the process.
• Where do they recognize their flaws 3. Find out what the person thinks about
and weaknesses? God. Every person who is not a Christian
• Where are their intentions good and their has a reason for not being a Christian. Some
insights accurate? consciously reject God and the Bible. Others
• Where are they valuing relationships beyond have never given it much thought. Still others
convenience or prestige they receive? believe they are Christians without any real
• Where are they standing for what they understanding of the gospel of grace. Then
believe is right when doing so costs there are those who have never heard an
them something? alternative to the way they were raised. Some
Questions that flesh out significant life situations: have had terrible experiences in churches,
• What are they facing in life—both hardships or were mistreated by professing Christians.
and blessings? Some “tried it and it didn’t work.”As you speak
• Where do they experience shame, suffering, with them, keep an eye out for exactly who this
failures, and problems? person understands the “God” of the Bible to
• Where do they experience success, be. Very often—and this is especially true for
satisfaction, comfort, and excitement? those who have been sinned against by people
• What are their most significant in a church—someone is repulsed by a “God”
relationships? who is in fact repulsive and has little to do with

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 65

the true God. They are right to be repulsed by borrowing end of the spectrum. If you do go to
a divine being who is willful and capricious, Scripture, the first place to go might be Ezekiel 34,
or vain and cruel! Understanding the kind of pointing out that God himself feels passionately
“God”—Christian or otherwise—a person is about abuse of power by spiritual leaders. With
serving or rejecting is very helpful. an agnostic who is open to spirituality and has
These orienting perspectives lay the little experience with the church, you may move
groundwork for a presentation of Christ that to the words of Scripture more quickly, though
is incisively relevant and powerful. This kind of the majority of your interaction with Scripture
seed sowing displays Christ as exactly the help will likely be at the level of paraphrases. Be
and hope this person needs. Christian ministry thoughtful about your choices, always asking
is evangelism. In counseling this means we yourself where your own fears or tendencies
strive for a relationship where the natural next may be hampering you. Are you likely to do a lot
step in the relationship is speaking about the of paraphrasing because you worry that people
good news of the Good Shepherd. What happens won’t like what they hear, and you want to make
when someone acknowledges shame, guilt, it sound“nicer”? Or do you quote woodenly, not
wounds, wickedness, weakness or loneliness? trusting that God’s words and ways can breathe
That person becomes more open to a Shepherd through a normal human conversation?
who laid down his life so his sheep could have Along the way, no matter how you are
glorious, endless, forgiven, painless, shameless, engaging the Scriptures, pay attention to the
eternal life with God as part of his family. sources of authority and influence the person
you are speaking with does recognize! Whether
Three Frequently Asked Questions this is a style of music, a pop-psychology, a
Here are three common questions that trusted friend or relative, or the 24/7 news cycle,
arise about the actual in-the-room dynamics of you should explore these. You will always find
counseling non-Christians: echoes of or yearnings for the gospel in them.
1. Should I use the Bible with non-Christians? 2. Should I pray? Probably. But maybe not
It depends.“Using the Bible” can mean different at the beginning of the first time you sit down
things. There is a broad range of ways to engage with someone who is likely not a believer. The
the Word, all of which qualify on some level important thing is this: when you do pray,
as using the Bible: reading aloud, quoting, actually pray. Don’t make the prayer a sermon
paraphrasing, allusion, borrowing a metaphor, in disguise. Remember that you are being
retelling stories in a different context, and talking overheard and be sensitive to the person. But do
about broad principles drawn from Scripture, talk to God, not to the other person.
just to name a few. As is true with Christians, Intercession on behalf of another person
different ways of engaging the Bible will be is an enormous privilege and an incredible
appropriate for different purposes. Scripture opportunity to love. Speaking openly about
contains examples of all of the above, and all the person’s tender concerns, deep needs, and
have a legitimate place in ministry. vexing trials to the One who holds all things in
How you use (or do not use) the Bible also his hands is an intimate and beautiful part of
depends on who the non-Christian is that you caring for that person. Don’t feel like you have to
are talking to. Paul, for example, quotes Scripture choose between praying for spiritual needs and
heavily when he speaks with Jews who do not praying for physical needs. Take comfort in the
believe (Acts 13). With Greek philosophers, knowledge that prayers to our Father that seek
however, he does not quote Scripture. He instead the genuine good of the person will inevitably
references philosophy to ground broad principles re-interpret someone’s world.
from Scripture that are accepted in their world 3. Do I give practical advice? All the time.
(Acts 17). When talking to Gentile peasants, he I sometimes worry that practical advice that
uses illustrations from daily life (Acts 14). is not riveted to the gospel will teach harmful
Keep Paul’s model, with all its flexibility, self-reliance, even if it leads to better behavior.
in mind. If you speak to someone who is bitter However, as you help someone think wisely
against Christians because the Bible feels like a about finding relief from hard life situations,
weapon of abuse, err on the allusional/metaphor- you will grow increasingly attuned to places

66 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

where pertinent advice is directly shaped by the her as she mourns. The loss of loved ones, the
awareness of all you have come to know about sense of isolation, and the sadness over the
the person (e.g., where someone’s loyalties or neglect of her family are all reasonable causes
motives lie). Let me give an example. I remember of deep distress.
speaking with a young man (high school age) Where are you going with her? As she
who had an anger problem. He had a difficult feels comfort from your grieving with her, you
relationship with his younger (junior high age) are planting the seed in her heart that God
sister. During the course of our relationship, I might actually be close and grieve her losses
witnessed an interaction between the two of too. You will look for opportunities to speak
them where she was unapologetically rude, and about life after death with a God who resonates
he responded by belittling her and treating her deeply with her hurt. He has spent all of history
like a 5-year-old. He seemed genuinely unaware reconciling with children who have betrayed him
that his behavior had been anything other much more deeply than not coming to visit. You
than that of a mature adult dispensing much- will freely share Scripture passages filled with
needed correction. his promises. This same God offers her freedom
I started by commiserating with him from her self-isolating bitterness. Even now she
about the frustration of being treated as he had can have a life full of joy and significance, found
been. I was careful not to rush past this. But as in blessing those people around her whom she
the conversation progressed, I told him that I does see regularly.
thought he had been insulting and demeaning 2. Now consider a young woman in high
to his sister. I was candid. If he actually wanted school. She attends youth group and sings at
to see change in her life for the better, he was church to keep her parents happy. But when they
going to need to treat her respectfully and kindly, are not watching, she throws aside her Christian
even when she was rude. In doing so, I laid lifestyle, drinks at parties, and dabbles with pot.
the foundation for him to see that loving your Her double-life is killing her. Her mood alternates
“enemies” and returning good for evil leads to from ecstatic delight when she feels popular and
growth in relationships. I also wanted him to see accepted to bitter, self-harming bouts of despair
that if he was genuinely going to deal with anger and self-loathing when she feels like no one
and have meaningful relationships in his life, knows her or loves her for who she really is.
he was going to need a source of strength and With this young woman, you begin differently.
motivation greater than his own comfort and Early on, you might spend time exploring why
benefit. That is a powerful seed to sow! popularity is so important to her. You might even
use a word like “intoxicating” with her. You will
Four People You Might Counsel try to understand the specific contours of her
There is no simple formula for counseling all experience, not assuming that you know why
non-Christians any more than there is a simple she craves people’s good opinion. You will also
formula for counseling all Christians. In closing, take episodes of cutting, bingeing, or ripping out
let me simply illustrate what a wise, seed-sowing her own hair very seriously. Think creatively with
approach might entail in four very different her to make a plan to keep her away from these
situations: behaviors when she feels discouraged.
1. An eighty-three-year-old woman in a Over the long haul, you are going to try
nursing home struggles with depression after to help her recognize that her double life is
losing her husband and close friends. Her destroying her and her relationships. She needs to
children and grandchildren rarely visit. She feels hear that the God she learns about in youth group
forgotten and betrayed by her family after all the is not interested in mere outward conformity.
time she spent taking care them. Instead, he invites her to a radical integrity that
What will you say to such a woman as actually results in freedom for her. Ironically, the
you hear her story? Hopefully, you will begin grace of God allows her to live as herself—all her
by simply expressing genuine sorrow over failings confessed and with no need to hide—in
the grief and pain she is experiencing. God is every context. As her counselor, you are free to
close to the broken-hearted. You will give her show great compassion for her, even though she
a taste of that closeness by mourning with generates much of her own suffering.

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 67

 3. A man in his early twenties is self- 4. Finally, a man in his 40’s has marriage
confident, outspokenly atheistic in rejecting his problems despite a successful career and
parents’ religion, and eager to “live life to the successful kids. With him you would likely open
fullest.” But he is devastated by a recent breakup by exploring his perspective on the marriage
with a girlfriend and has sought help from the problems, as well as his thoughts on the things
“therapy” his parents were willing to pay for. that are going right. Does he see his wife as a
This conversation will go very differently from failure in contrast to himself and the kids? Or is
the previous two. she the dissatisfied judge, for whom no amount
You would likely begin by talking about of success ever seems to be enough? Perhaps he
the breakup. What happened? What did he is confused as to why she is cold and distant, and
value in the relationship? What went wrong? he responds by spending more time pursuing
Why has it been so devastating? What is he his job, where he finds greater satisfaction.
is doing to treat the wounds he feels? What In the same way as the previous cases,

The seeds Jesus sows with his disciples are not

categorically different than the seeds he sows with
outsiders. A wise counselor helps believers and non-
believers see themselves more clearly in order to
relevantly point them toward Jesus.
does he think is needed or helpful? your first priority will be to help him put words
You will also likely explore what he means on his frustration and his interpretation of the
by his “parents’ religion.” Did he grow up with problem. If you discover that he sees his wife as
smothering legalism, where outward behavior the “failure,” you’ll look for ways he is not as “all
mattered but feelings and motives did not? Were together” as he wants to believe. Here you are
they aggressively political because of their faith aiming for him to collide with the reality of his
commitments, but personally uninterested in own sinfulness and lead him to a sense of need
spiritual things? Did they lovingly nurture him for God’s grace. Or, if she turns out to be the
in a healthy church and he resents them because “judge,” you help him put words on the things
he feels he never got the “chance” to get outside he is living for but does not get from her: an easy
a Christian bubble? Is his “parents’ religion” code life, approval, respect, or accomplishment. Begin
for anything old, irrelevant, or getting in the way to see where he is looking for her, or the marriage,
of doing what he wants to do in the modern, to be his savior and to fulfill his greatest hopes.
enlightened world? The gospel offers delightful freedom for a man
In time, you will help him articulate a trapped under the rule of a master he can never
fundamental commitment to his own pleasure please. In this case, he is ultimately more a slave
on his own terms. At some point, you might to his dreams of comfort or significance than he
begin to raise a question as to whether the very is to his wife. If the problem is simply relational
pleasure he is living for is also the thing that distance, you start by encouraging him to pursue
killed his relationship. You want to help him see his wife rather than withdrawing to his job. Then,
that such a commitment will ultimately isolate your ultimate goal is his embrace of the pursuing
him from all relationships. love of Christ for him, and that he will embody
He needs to know the God who is not a that same love for his wife. Christ is the one who
cosmic killjoy—yet who challenges mere self- did not stop loving despite discomfort. When he
indulgence. In fact, God desires deeper human was rejected, he continued to pursue the bride
relationships for this young man than he has that he had come to woo and win.
ever tasted, longs to know and be known by These stories are common. Each one deals
him, and has willingly suffered the cost of a with relationships, desires, problems, hopes, and
“breakup” himself. goals. Yet the differences between them lead to

68 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

very different approaches for you as a counselor! of the kingdom that was good news in the ears
This, on the one hand, gives you the great of sinners when Christ first spoke it. We must
privilege of moving into any relationship with be content with nothing less than delivering
humility and flexibility. You know that you can the good news today, and to deliver it in such
go many possible directions, even when there a way that the person sees that Jesus himself is
is much you don’t yet understand or appreciate surprisingly good. Wise counselors will look to
about this person. On the other hand, you come his example to learn how to scatter seeds as he
with the enormous confidence that God does did, digging through the soil for the best spot to
have something life re-arranging to say to this plant the gospel in the most personal, loving,
person. You will have the opportunity both to and compelling of ways.
speak and to embody his loving-kindness. You _______________________________________
will remain alert to the places where the gospel 1 For a longer discussion of how to ask heart-exposing,
calls people to die to self-centered and destructive life re-interpreting questions, see David Powlison’s chapter
“X-ray Questions” in Seeing with New Eyes (Phillipsburg,
ways of living in fresh and relevant ways. NJ: P & R, 2003), 129-144.
2 The theologian John Calvin vividly captures the way
Be a Sower accurate self-knowledge leads to knowledge of God in his
Embodying Christ’s love is nowhere more introduction to the Institutes. See Institutes of the Christian
crucial than in ministry to non-Christians. We Religion (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1989), 37.
have a message to share. It is the same message

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 69

C ouns e lo r ’s To o lb o x

Feeling Lost in the Middle

of Your Life

by Paul David Tripp

A young person tends to think like an astronaut, you carried around your dreams like personal
always looking upward, outward and forward. luggage, and now you must face putting them
With the majority of life ahead, it seems as if the down and leaving them behind. It’s hard to do—
sky is the limit. Even if you haven’t fulfilled all of those dreams were part of what kept you going.
your dreams, there is still plenty of time. 3. Regret. Finally, each of us will struggle
But in midlife you stop living like an with regret. None of us can look back and say,
astronaut, and start acting more like an “I was exactly the kind of person I wanted to be.”
archeologist. You spend time digging through the We have failed to do what God asked of us. We
“mound”of your existence.You look through the have even failed to live up to our own standards.
pottery shards of past situations, relationships, So we look back and regret decisions we made,
and achievements trying to make sense of your words we spoke, and actions we took.
life. This can be painful, because you can’t do that Do you feel lost in the middle of your life?
archeological work without facing three things:
1. Physical aging. When you were younger, Don’t Be Alarmed—God Is at Work
you were more vibrant than you are now. You If you are experiencing these things don’t be
had more energy and required less sleep. You alarmed—everyone faces these issues at some
didn’t worry about what you ate or how you felt. point. It is painful to honestly assess your life,
But now your body is talking back to you and and it is tempting to think you can turn off the
forcing you to be concerned about your health. pain by changing your situation. You could quit
You might even be struggling with a chronic your job, leave your spouse, or spend money on
illness or injury. You can no longer ignore your something symbolic like a facelift or a sports car.
own mortality or pretend you will live forever. But changing your circumstances won’t help you
2. Death of your dreams. Your archeological deal with the issues you are facing—you will
work also forces you to face the death of your only be distracted for a short time.
dreams.You realize that some of what you hoped Instead, ask yourself, “What is God doing
to do is just not going to happen. For years in my life?” God is at work. He is doing what
he always does: using difficult circumstances
___________________________________________ to uncover what is really in your heart. He
Paul David Tripp (M.Div., D.Min.) is president of Paul
Tripp Ministries (www.paultrippministries.org) and
wants you to go through the pain of honest
Executive Director of the Center for Pastoral Life and Care self-examination so you can reach new heights
in Fort Worth, Texas. He has authored many books on in your relationship with him and in your
Christian living, including “Lost in the Middle: Midlife usefulness to his kingdom. As you honestly
and the Grace of God.” examine your heart, God will show you the

70 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

enormous opportunities you have in midlife for joy in temporary things. Ask God to teach you
growth and change. to trust him for all you need.
Your struggles with physical aging, the 2. Don’t be paralyzed by regret. Confess your
death of your dreams, and regrets probably failures to the Lord and believe in the forgiveness
reveal that you were trusting in what God gave he freely gives (1 John 1:8). Remember that
you more than in him. The apostle Paul says Jesus’ death on the cross and his resurrection
that when we do this we exchange the truth guarantee your acceptance and forgiveness. No
about God for a lie, worshiping and serving the matter what you have done, God’s forgiveness
creature rather than the Creator (Rom 1:25). We is available to you. And God is in the business
rely on our physical vitality and our abilities. We of redeeming our sins—nothing we have done
find security in our decisions. We trust in our or not done can stop God’s kingdom from
own righteousness. moving  forward.

God is at work. He is doing what he always does:

using difficult circumstances to uncover what is
really in your heart.
But God uses the challenges of midlife 3. Ask others for forgiveness. It can be
to bring us to the end of ourselves so we can enormously healing to say to your adult child,
repent of our self-reliance. He wants us to find “When I look back, I realize that much of my
our identity, meaning, security, and purpose in parenting was done in anger. Would you please
him. God wants us to see that without him we forgive me?” or “I was way too busy when you
are desperate. He wants us to pray for help like were growing up, and I’m sorry. I lost precious
David who said, “Incline your ear, O Lord, and time with you.”
answer me, for I am poor and needy” (Ps 86:1). 4. Take other positive steps to reconcile
God will answer your prayers and help you. The relationships. Ask God if there is something
struggles of midlife are not meant to punish you need to do or give back to someone, or
you. Instead, they are the arms of God reaching something you did that you need to “undo” to
out and drawing you to himself. restore a relationship.
5. Take on new commitments. Let honest
Follow God’s Lead confession and positive actions be followed by
Because God is already at work in your life, new commitments. Ask God to help you see
your call is to follow his lead. Here are a few what new opportunities to serve him and love
ways that you can follow the Lord as he grows others are in your life right now.
you into Christ-likeness during midlife. God’s grace means you do not have to view
1. Recognize any spiritually unhealthy ways the challenges of midlife as a prison sentence,
you are using to deal with the challenges. but as an opportunity. Determine to make the
• Are you denying or trying to hide most of the opportunity! As you do, you will gain
your age? a new perspective on your life and failures. God
• Are you spending extravagantly? really does use your past mistakes, sins, and bad
• Are you having an extramarital affair choices for the good of his kingdom—just as he
or contemplating one? did for the apostle Peter.
• Are you doing something “new” to One of the sweetest, most comforting
numb the pain of midlife? stories in the Bible is the story of the forgiveness
• Are you spending too much time and restoration that followed Peter’s denial of
thinking about the past (either Jesus (John 18:15–18, 25–27; 21:15–19). Peter
longingly or with regret)? had done the unthinkable: at the very moment
You can probably add to this list. Your desire of Christ’s capture he had denied any connection
to do such things reveals a heart that is not to him. When you read this you think, “Well, it’s
trusting God, but is looking for eternal life and over for Peter! There’s no way that Jesus will

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 71

ever let him be a disciple again!” But the story the Bible’s lists of the qualities we need in our
takes a very different turn. Jesus seeks Peter relationships? Love is patient: 1 Corinthians 13:4;
out; he specifically forgives Peter, and then he Galatians 5:22; Colossians 3:12.
personally commissions Peter for ministry. Jesus Second, determine to understand. Don’t
wasn’t willing for Peter’s story to end with Peter’s act like you know what your spouse is going
sin. He had planned for Peter to have a big part through—you don’t. Each person’s midlife
in building his church. So, at the edge of the Sea struggle is unique. Be willing to ask good
of Galilee, he redeemed Peter’s failure. Arrogant questions. Be determined to listen well. Take
Peter, who had been so sure of himself, was note of the themes and patterns of your
humbled by his failure and by Jesus’ love for him. spouse’s struggles. Work to understand what
Now he was ready to serve. your spouse is going through and communicate
The Lord has a plan for you too. He made your commitment to understand. Love is
you his child because he wants you to be part understanding, and therefore able to be helpful:
of his wonderful plan for redeeming the world. Galatians 6:2; 1 Corinthians 13:7.
Those plans are not spoiled by your sins. Jesus Third, determine to give grace. In midlife,
uses everything for our good (Rom 8:28). God people often take stock of their potential and
uses your failures to teach you to stop trusting see limitations because of a poor track record,
yourself and to start trusting Jesus. So ask for physical weaknesses or unrealized dreams. But
forgiveness, and then go forward in humble these are all faulty measures for Christians.
reliance on Jesus. As you do this, you will grow in Because Christ lives inside of us (Gal 2:20), we
new ways and become an instrument of growth can’t measure our potential accurately without
in others. Remember, don’t let your failures including him. Give your spouse grace by pointing
tempt you to run from Jesus. Run straight to to Christ’s presence, power, and provision. These
him—you will find him waiting with mercy and things get clouded by the struggles of midlife.
grace, just as he waited for Peter on the shore of Again, your spouse’s potential is not based on
the sea. personal potential, but on Christ’s. When this is
Just as Peter was now ready to serve, so are understood, your spouse will be able to face life
you. You may even be called upon to minister with courage and hope. Love gives grace when it
to your spouse who is struggling with midlife trusts God is at work: Colossians 3:12–17.
issues. How can you help in this situation? How
can you be an instrument of growth? Here are Not Lost—Moving Forward
three ways: You never really were an astronaut with
First, determine to be patient. It is hard to unlimited possibilities. And if you become
live with someone who is feeling the pressures of an archaeologist, it only leaves you facing
midlife. Schedules, conversations, and decisions backwards and looking inward. But if you walk
become more difficult. It is easy to become forward through the true challenges of midlife,
irritated and impatient. When this happens, you are right where God wants you to be. He
your spouse has to deal not only with the is calling you to a deeper relationship with him.
struggles of this stage of life, but also with you He is giving you new opportunities to serve. He
too! This only leads to further discouragement. is teaching you to love.
Isn’t it interesting that patience is on all of

72 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

 Lives in Process:
An Introduction

Each of us is a work-in-progress. Biblical counseling and failures, as they learned first-hand about the
exists because God uses people to help people, dynamics of biblical change.
comforting the disturbed and disturbing the This ‘self-counseling’ project forms a key
comfortable. Biblical counseling exists because part of counselor training. We become able to
none of us changes all at once, in the twinkling help others effectively as we understand how we
of an eye. When we see Jesus face to face, then are alike (amid all our differences of detail) and
we will be fully like him. Until that day, the story how God meets us.
is not yet complete. This section of JBC seeks No temptation has overtaken you that is
to capture snapshots of the struggles and the not common to man. God is faithful, and
change process as it is happening. The stories are he will not let you be tempted beyond your
framed by and infused with biblical truth—not ability, but with the temptation he will also
just the theory, but the rough and tumble, the fits provide the way of escape, that you may be
and starts of an unfolding personal story. able to endure it. (1 Cor 10:13)
These stories come from students in CCEF’s The God and Father of our Lord Jesus
Dynamics of Biblical Change class taught by Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all
David Powlison. We are calling this section comfort,… comforts us in all our affliction,
“Lives in Process.” These stories are the fruit so that we may be able to comfort those
of an assignment in which students choose an who are in any affliction, with the comfort
issue to address in their lives. The entry point with which we ourselves are comforted by
might be a personal problem—from a minor bad God. (2 Cor 1:3–4)
habit to a significant pattern of temptation and We trust that you will benefit in reading these
sin. Or the entry point might be some hardship, “lives in process” and believe that the Spirit will
trouble or trial that a person is facing. In either use this testimony—for stories bear witness, not
case, students spent 4–6 weeks working on the to theory, but to what has actually happened, to
issues and journaling the process. They explored “things that Jesus did”(John 21:25).
the details of their situation and their responses. For this issue, we have two offerings. The
They probed motives. They engaged the Word first deals with an apparently innocent shopping
of God and the God of the Word. They sought “hobby.” The second tells the story of a mom
help, counsel and prayer from friends and learning to adopt a kingdom-oriented mindset
family. They recorded their thoughts, actions and to parent her young children.
feelings, their hopes and fears, their successes

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 73

L i v es in Pro c e s s

My Fashion Fixation and an

Unlikely Encounter with God

by Jamie L. Rose

It all started with a simple question. Well, at As much as I wanted to fight it, it was a
least it seemed like a simple question. Little gift to have my husband shine light on a dark
did I know the answer would lead to an entire place in my heart. I realized this was something
spiritual journey. My husband and I were on that needed to change. We began with
a long car trip with hours to kill. I thought it prayer—the place most good journeys begin.
would be wise to ask my trapped-in-a-car- As I journeyed further, the Lord used his Word
with-nowhere-to-run husband, “Darling, what and circumstances to reveal more to me about
is the biggest sin in my life right now?” He knew my own heart and how he would help me to
better than to answer that question quickly and overcome my preoccupation with clothes.
instead asked me what I thought. I offered a After I recognized and admitted that this
laundry list of things I had been pondering. He was a problem, the Lord began to help me
mulled over my suggestions, and to my surprise become aware of how my sin manifested itself.
he (gasp!) added one that I hadn’t thought of. I began to notice the amount of time I spent
He gently and carefully brought up how he poring over websites looking at clothes, usually
thought my love of clothing had become a sin at the expense of something else I should have
in my life. He was kind about it, but it stung. been working on. Then there was money. I
I tried to defend myself, but with every retort wasn’t always buying the clothing I looked at,
I realized how much I sounded like a clothing but I did set aside a nice chunk of money for
addict. This was a problem in my life. clothes each year. I would justify it this way:
That day, my husband revealed an area in Accruing clothes was my only “hobby,” which
my life where I had blinders on. I didn’t want meant I had every right to spend my money this
this to be exposed, because, truth be told, I love way. Then there was the extreme wanderlust of
clothes. I love shopping online, shopping in my imagination as I’d see other women walk by.
stores, talking about clothes, looking through I would break down their outfits, making new
the clothes I have, and deciding what new outfits in my mind, and making a list of items
clothes I want. None of this is inherently sinful. I needed to buy in order to make my wardrobe
But as I began to think about my innocent complete. It didn’t take long for me to rack-up
“hobby,” I realized how much it dominated a clear picture of why my husband had brought
both my thought life and my time. up the topic of clothing—my “hobby” was not
___________________________________________ so innocent. It was robbing me of a lot and
Jamie Rose is pursuing a Master of Arts degree in
didn’t seem particularly pleasing to the Lord.
counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary and has
completed the CCEF counseling internship.
In the past, I have tried to temper my desire

74 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

to focus on my appearance. This is something mind, and it was affecting my relationship
I can remember wrestling with in my teenage with God. Realizing how much my love was
years. Then, I posted Scripture around my disordered, I could see that I actually worshiped
mirror to remind myself that my appearance the very thing that I thought I had total control
isn’t the most important thing. At one point over. I realized how I needed my Savior, the one
I posted Matthew 6:28-30—“Why are you who would put his mark of mercy on me, and
anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of spare me from death (Rev 22:4).
the field”—on my mirror and in my closet. But I prayed with my husband about these
these efforts never seemed to change anything. things. I was brought to tears in repentance,
Soon the words became commonplace and easy worship and thankfulness. But even in the
to ignore. Now, ten years later, I still wondered midst of these holy moments, my mind drifted
what my clothing obsession revealed about my to my outfit for an upcoming holiday. Even
heart. Was I afraid of what other people thought then! I confessed my thoughts to the Lord and

Realizing how much my love was disordered, I

could see that I actually worshiped the very thing
that I thought I had total control over.
of me? Was I seeking approval? I was not sure, asked him to help me. Despite my wandering
so I sought the Scriptures for clarity. The Lord heart, I was still encouraged. I had never felt the
providentially led me to Ezekiel 8–9. need to confess my preoccupation with clothes
In Ezekiel 8, the prophet Ezekiel is given before. This was my first taste of ripening, good
a vision of the elders of the house of Israel fruit that had come as a result of inviting the
worshiping other gods. The elders said, “The Lord to change me. I also saw that while this
Lord does not see us, the Lord has forsaken was true, it was also true that this would be an
the land” (8:12, 9:9). They stood in a dark room ongoing struggle.
in the temple and burned incense to images I had created quite a temple of clothing
of creeping things, loathsome beasts and idols worship in my heart, and it would take time
engraved on the wall. This was an abomination to tear it down and resist rushing back in for
to God. He pledged to bring the executioners. comfort. I started to become more aware of
Yet, we also see the grace and mercy of God common circumstances that fed my fixation with
toward those who“sigh and groan”over the false clothes. Any time I traveled, the issue of what I
worship (9:4). God puts a mark of protection on should wear was always in the spotlight. The
them, sparing them from death. Reading this, I Lord used a weekend church retreat to reveal
was struck with both the horror of sin and the this common trigger. During the week leading
beauty of God’s holiness and grace. As I read up to the retreat, I felt a strong desire to buy a
how God revealed the idolatry of the priests, new sweater for the weekend. Of course, I have
Father God spoke clearly to my heart and said: sweaters galore in my closet. I didn’t need a new
“This is you, Jamie. You believe the way you one. But I felt as if I had to have it. I felt that it
think about clothing is not an issue of concern, was essential for the weekend. I didn’t used to
yet it is idol worship. You’re worshiping the think this was a problem. But now, with clearer
opinions of others instead of me. This is what understanding, I was able to invite the Lord into
the darkness looks like in your heart.” this urgent “need.” I realized that my motivation
Previously I had used the Scriptures like a was to present myself in a certain way in front
“good luck charm,” thinking that if I could just of new people from our church. My longing for
be reminded of truth, then I would be changed. a new sweater was tangled in a web of desires: I
But now the Lord revealed the ways that my love want to look good in front of others, and (maybe)
for clothing was my version of carved images I want to impress them. This understanding of
on the walls of a darkened room in the temple. both tempting situations and my motivations
This false worship occupied my heart and my informed my prayers in a new way.

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 75

 I also realized that I had to include others this point. The roots are not always clear to me,
in the process. It seemed so silly to share with but I’m thankful to be aware of the struggle.
friends that I was delving into my sinful patterns And in some ways, I don’t need all the roots
involving clothes. It was also scary for me. Yet to be clear to turn to the Lord when I notice
it was amazing too, because one fruit of my myself starting to obsess over clothing.
openness was that it encouraged them to share
their issues with me. One dear friend began * * *
to share her struggles with eating. Since then,
we’ve been walking together as we’ve wrestled It has been well over a year since that car ride
with our sins. We pray together, are honest with my husband. There have been many
with one another, and have God-centered instances when I needed to walk away from
conversations. My husband has been especially my laptop while browsing the new season’s
helpful. As I’ve struggled, he’s brought us to styles. And, by God’s grace, I did walk away.
prayer and encouraged us to lay it before the There have been times when I texted a friend
Lord together. for prayer as I got ready to pick a dress for an
The next time we had plans to go away for upcoming wedding. And, because of Christ’s
the weekend, I asked a few friends for prayer, work in my life, I did reach out in the midst of
knowing now that traveling almost always temptation. I have noticed that I am more quick
brings this sin to the surface. While packing I’ll to recognize my need to lay down my desires
usually obsess over what to bring, so as not to before the throne, and entrust myself to God.
be caught off guard at any point. (I mean, what It has been so much better than retail therapy!
if I was invited to a black tie event while on the Believe it or not, this past year I actually
road?) I prayed that God would help me to not gave up buying any new clothes to save money
over-pack or obsess over what to bring. I didn’t for our planned adoption. I don’t think I could
over-pack, but my heart wandered and my eyes have done this, or even thought it possible,
were filled with want! Yet the Lord called me a couple of years ago. I’ve often recalled the
back quickly with the sweet words of the hymn words that a sweet friend prayed for me during
“Be Thou My Vision.” this season of seeking the Lord about this
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise, issue: Help Jamie believe that you want to array
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always: her with things that last forever. Help her know
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart, that you long for her attention, and that you look
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art upon her with acceptance and delight. My hope
is to continue to lay this down before the Lord,
In the midst of the same struggle rearing its allowing him to expose and change the deeper
ugly head yet again, the Holy Spirit restored motivations as well as steady my attention
me to sanity through a beautiful hymn about upon him. I pray that he makes me a woman
my true inheritance in Christ. whose eyes and heart are set on serving him
I’m grateful for what I’ve learned on this and others, rather than setting my heart and
journey. The Lord has allowed so much to come hopes on what I’m wearing and how I look.
to light in such a short time. And he brought
things into the light in order to redeem my * * *
sinful heart, not to shame or condemn me.
Father God revealed that I am in a battle. I Postscript
never quite understood the need for the armor What is your free association to the word sin?
of God (Eph 6:10-20), but I can see now that The psychotherapy culture in which we
there is a battle raging! live gets edgy because biblical counselors make
I am alert to the battle now, and while that a point of bringing up the topic of sin. The
has brought peace, it has also brought some assumption is that a counselor (or, God forbid,
confusion. Will I ever simply enjoy clothing a counselee) who calls a specific problem “sin”
again? Will my motives with clothes always will breed obsessive guilt, self-condemnation,
be questionable? Is it okay to purchase a new and low self-esteem in the struggling counsel-
outfit for an upcoming event? I’m not so sure at seeker. The further assumption is that a

76 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

counselor who would make such an analysis but he thought hard, and then gently and
has a punitive, condemning, and moralizing carefully gave her a gift of light. The Lord was
attitude. This is a train of associations to make kind to reveal more of what was going on
anyone cringe. when she asked for greater clarity. Our author
But the story you just finished breathes experiences a loving God and a loving husband
fresh air and plays out under bright skies. The as counselors willing to bring up sin. And she
author is grateful for growing self-knowledge, experiences that exposure not as shaming,
and grateful for tangible aid from God and from but as an occasion to know grace, mercy, and
people who love her. By my rough count, on protection from her Father. Her Savior puts a
average the author mentions some aspect of her “mark of mercy” on her as she proceeds on a
sin-problem four or five times in each paragraph! good journey. Imagine that, to feel marked by
Her husband mentions it. Her friends mention mercy, not defaced and degraded by failure. She
it. “Be Thou My Vision” mentions it. And, of experiences a growing sense of liberation and
course, the Bible mentions it, because sin is on confidence, a wisdom that makes her helpful to
God’s mind, too. others, a freedom for self-discipline in hope of
Yet for all the talk of sin, the story communicates adopting a child.
no sense of being shamed or consumed with With all these positive associations, we
self-loathing, no guilt trip, no obsession with don’t have to fear naming sin. And yet I have
trying harder. Instead, she is remarkably free a pretty good idea why naming sin “sin” is
to put the dark places right out into the open. taboo in a psychotherapy culture. If you don’t
Her vocabulary is rich and her metaphors want to need mercy from God, and if the name
many: blinders on, addict, wanderlust of “Jesus Christ” is also taboo, then you have a
my imagination, preoccupation, wrestling, lot invested in denying those forms of self-
obsession, false worship, disordered love, knowledge that a healthy awareness of sin
fixation, struggle, tangled web of desires, need, brings. But we are people who need mercy, and
and the like. Because the topic is important there is mercy to be had. Sin is the reason that
personally, it is wide open for discussion, wide Jesus Christ is sweeter than honey.
open for help—and there is help to be had.
Notice the fragrance of mercy at every David Powlison
turn. Her husband didn’t jump to speak,

The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3 77

L i v es in Pro c e s s

Parenting for God’s

Kingdom, Not My Own

by Rebecca DeAnne Eaton

“How could you do that Ella?” I yelled. “I told you starting to tear up, she said, “Mommy, I forgive
to be careful! Now I have to clean up all of this! you.” I angrily retorted, “But I didn’t do anything
Stand over there so you don’t make another mess!” wrong!” As the words came out of my mouth I
My three-year-old shrank into the corner, and I knew I had done something wrong. Patiently,
bent down and began to clean…and grumble. she said, “Yes you did mommy, you yelled at
me.” Ouch. Yet, as I continued to clean the mess
The Hot Chocolate Incident I grumbled about how inconvenient this was…
So began the hot chocolate incident. I had just if she had only obeyed me! At the time, I just
brought Ella home from preschool. After a cold couldn’t see the big picture, only my corner, my
and rainy walk (oh the joys of one car!), I made messy corner, of the family canvas.“Why me?” I
hot chocolate (her favorite!) to help warm her continued to ask, “Lord, why me?”
up. I reminded Ella to be careful not to spill it, Looking back I would like to think that
but when she turned around to chat with her day was different than most days, and that
brother (being the talkative girl that she is), she my reaction was an isolated event due to
knocked the entire mug of hot chocolate all over exhaustion. But as busy hours turn into busy
her pretty outfit, onto the table…and then the days and then weeks…exhaustion has quickly
bench. The hot chocolate finally hit the floor, become a season in my life. Oftentimes I excuse
splattering to all ends of the kitchen and even outbursts like this by blame-shifting to someone
onto the cabinets. BIG SIGH! I am tired! or something. But when I take an honest look,
Generally I like to think of myself as a “big the question I am confronted with is this: What
picture” parent who doesn’t “fuss about the does the Lord require of me—in any situation…
small stuff.” But here I was fussing quite a bit tired or not? I know his purposes for me: “The
about the small stuff. In that moment, my vision aim is love that issues from a pure heart and a
for parenting had shrunk down to a distorted good conscience and a sincere faith”(1Tim 1:5).
mommy in a messy corner of our family canvas. Without a doubt, it was not the exhaustion
And rather than graciously cleaning up the that won the better of me that day. It was my
mess, I responded by scolding and yelling. Poor sinful heart and my desire to run my world—my
little Ella! Thankfully, she was wise and self- kingdom—my way. When I think about the hot
controlled at that moment! As she stood in the chocolate incident, I am confronted with the
corner, looking sorrowfully down at the floor and reality that Ella’s accident had much to do with
___________________________________________ her age and little to do with disobedience. So
Rebecca Eaton (M.A.) serves as the Director of Operations
whose kingdom was in jeopardy at that moment?
for CCEF.

78 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

Is it sin to spill a drink in God’s kingdom? No. If I count others more significant than yourselves.”
am honest with myself, it was my kingdom’s rule At first glance this may not seem to apply to my
that was offended. In my kingdom…things are situation. I love my kids and am thankfully mature
orderly, and children listen, obey, and don’t spill! enough not to compete with a 3-year-old (for
I am learning that how and when I discipline my the most part!). But as I sat with the words, they
kids often has much to do with preserving my illumined my situation. When I think of rivalry, I
kingdom and little to do with godly instruction. imagine two people having strife or contention.
The Spirit confronted me about this. I had to During the hot chocolate incident, I was at odds
decide; what will I do with this reality? Will I with Ella, so, in a sense, we were rivals! At that
hide from it in pride? Will I embrace the mercy moment, I acted as if my desires for calmness and
of Christ? Will I parent humbly, knowing that cleanliness were more significant than her. In my
Christ will meet me and my children in my conceit, I was more significant than her and my
weaknesses and imperfection? Will I live out response to her reflected that. No humility there.
repentance publicly with them? Then, right on the heels of rebuking
I am ashamed to admit that it was not until selfishness, Philippians 2:4 continues, “look to
an hour later that I asked Ella for forgiveness. the interests of others.” This command calls me
My heart was hard and proud, even though out of the messy corner of the canvas and back
her good words had cut me to the core. When I into the big picture to love others. As a mom,
did apologize, I explained to her that it was my looking to my children’s interests requires me
response that was wrong, not her accident. We to proactively seek their good, not just to refrain
prayed together, specifically that my sin would from being selfish. In God’s kingdom, parents
not be a stumbling block for her walk with our represent him. Just as Christ seeks my good, I
Lord. This has become a regular item of prayer. am to do the same for my children. And there,
I regularly sin, and she’s under my care. Put right on the heels of calling me to consider
together, that means I sin against her. As I grow Ella, Philippians 2:5–11 reminds me that Jesus
in awareness of my own sin and our Father’s considers me.
mercies, I am able to learn the kind of parenting I I could easily have found other people to
am called to. I long to parent for God’s kingdom, commiserate with me about how hard it is to be
not my own. a parent. It is easy to excuse the little things we
do to others. I could have dismissed my behavior
God Used a Spill to Reveal My Sin and as a mom having a bad day. But instead God used
His Love
Scripture to reveal my heart and my “real sin.”
The hot chocolate incident helped me understand
I didn’t only lose my temper with Ella. In that
that the first goal in growing as a godly parent is
moment my mind was conformed to the world
to see and acknowledge my sin. For anyone with
and committed to serving my own kingdom
authority over another one of God’s children,
interests, but God desires so much more from us.
Scripture’s exhortations are clear. I had to address
I know that I have a deep need to be transformed
the broken ways I respond to and discipline my
by the renewal of my mind, so that by testing
children—for their sake and for the sake of my
I may discern what is the will of God, what is
own relationship with the Lord. I meditated on
good and acceptable and perfect (Rom 12:2).
Philippians 2:1–18. It is a passage on how Christ’s
My desire is to model biblical living. That means
humble love translates into our lives. I was
facing even the “little” sins that are showcased
hopeful that the passage would teach me about
in mundane events like hot chocolate spills. It
parenting with humility in love. I organized the
means finding mercies every day. Repentance
passage verse by verse into two columns. I noted
must be thoughtful for it to become a way of
each contrast between godly and ungodly living.
life. When seen, my sin is ugly. But I have hope
I examined the way I interact with my kids using
because I have somewhere to turn. My ugly
the text as my microscope, as my call, as a picture
image of what is best for my household gives
of my Savior. Painful, yet edifying! So challenging,
way to the beauty of the Son and his kingdom.
yet so encouraging!
He will teach me. He is teaching me. He never
Take Philippians 2:3 as an example. “Do
gives up. His Spirit repairs my brokenness in
nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility
front of my children.

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Parenting Refocused As I explained that Jack is special because God
As I inch my way back out into the center of created him, she looked at Jack with beaming
my family canvas, I have a renewed sense of eyes. She responded by saying, “God sent his
what God is calling me to as I parent. I need to only Son.” As I started to tear up at those sweet
learn and relearn that parenting children is not child-like words of faith, I said, “Yes, he did
intended to achieve my own comfort. To hold Ella.” She turned to Jack and said, “I’m sorry
their interests in my heart is not about simply Jackie. God made you.” Little one-year old Jack
obeying rules to keep mommy happy and to looked up at his big sister and said, “sowwy.”
keep her anger away. Instead, they need to learn Ella understood what she did was wrong and
how to live in God’s kingdom. They, like me, why it was wrong. I could have easily told her
must let go of a pretender’s kingdom. that the “right thing” to do is share (and it is). I
I am called to model life in the Spirit. This could have focused exclusively on the behavior
means an ongoing process of Christ’s grace and made her give Jack a toy as I had done so
addressing my sin and my heart. My role is not many times in the past. But I would have missed
only to parent correctly or effectively. Kingdom the opportunity to focus on what faith working
work is messier than that. And with God’s help, through love looks like in a difficult situation.
I am growing in this—and will grow. What I live This time the Spirit prompted me to disciple Ella
is what I will model. My parenting, like my own in the ways of the kingdom. Focusing on the
walk with God, needs to be marked by humility, heart before God provided me an opportunity
generosity, and persistence. I must “hold to teach Ella and Jack that image-bearing ought
fast to the word of life” in all circumstances. to impact how she treats her brother. The Spirit
With wisdom from the Spirit, I will be able to was obviously working in all of us, and before I
proactively look to the interests of Ella, Jack, had the opportunity to address Jack, he sought
and Robby. to reconcile with his sister.
As I began to see my role in a new light,
my parenting developed a new focus. Since The Kingdom Journey Continues
the kingdom of God is not about outward There is no “quick fix” guide to becoming like
compliance to all of mom’s wishes, but about a Christ and bearing his image to my children.
mom knowing and obeying God, I realized that Even though I still fail as a parent, my focus is on
my primary job is helping my children become God’s kingdom more than ever before. That is
wise from the heart. Focusing on the heart where Jesus, my wisdom, is. I am more attentive
before God gives me a vision of parenting that is to my sin and shortcomings by being quicker to
freeing. I know I cannot change my child’s heart, ask for forgiveness. In the smallest parts of life
only God can. My role is to show them Jesus and (good and bad) with Ella, Jack, and Robby, I bring
teach about kingdom ways of living. I continued him into view as our vessel of grace. It is easy to
to ponder Scripture, and I was able to depend talk to kids about Jesus. It is not easy to humbly
on Christ more and more each day. By his grace confess sin, for fear that it will diminish my
I began to see change. authority as a parent. But if I fail to acknowledge
For example, recently my two older kids got sin, I have no real message about Jesus! He came
sick at the same time and were home together. not to call the righteous, but sinners (Matt 9:13).
I had just left the room to get some juice when This is the good news to my children and I need
I turned around and saw Ella push Jack down to trust that my weaknesses will be used by God
to the floor. This time I responded to her with to bring about his kingdom purposes.
problem-solving mercy and compassion. I asked Sometimes the benefits of kingdom living
why she had pushed her brother down (knowing surprise me. For example, I’ve realized that godly
it was likely over her toys). Shamefacedly, she parenting helps make my kids sane! It happens
pointed to the toys. I reminded her that Jack in the most ordinary moments throughout the
is a person created by God and that those toys day as we live life, struggle with temptation, and
would someday go away, but her brother would repent of our sin. Whether they are frustrated
always be her brother. I gently reminded Ella by a long car ride, scared on an airplane, or
that she is older, needs to protect Jack, and recovering from a fit of anger, God’s ways bring
teach him about Jesus. Ella instantly responded! us back to sanity. This kind of insight can color

80 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

any parent’s day, and it enriches their drive to fragrant or rancid. Words are either constructive
love passionately and missionally. or destructive. Words are either nutritious or
Finally, God has taught me that godly without nutritional value, empty calories, even
responses to my children can’t be mustered up poisonous. Words either give grace or make
in my own strength. Rather, godly mothering the world graceless. Those last five sentences
is lived out in faith and by the power of the paraphrase Ephesians 4:29.
Spirit. They won’t remember how many loads God willingly makes us into grace-givers.
of laundry I washed or the number of diapers I He is evidently at work in the story we just read.
changed. They won’t even remember the specific We rightly think of the kingdom of heaven as
events I’ve talked about in these pages. But they cosmic in scope and eternal in duration, but that
are going to remember who I am in Christ: a kingdom can happen in a kitchen after school
sinner redeemed by Jesus to love them. At the on a cold, wet day in Philadelphia. In a moment
end of each day, they will know whether I truly of irritation one more petty kingdom flares into
forgave them or humbly repented when I was existence, but in an honest reconciliation that
wrong. My challenge and my goal is to present pretender kingdom collapses. Life becomes
Christ before Ella, Jack, and Robby’s eyes, and generous, sane, good, and worth living.
to live my life publicly in need of his mercy Understanding how the ordinary scale of
and grace. This is where I aim to be when the things relates to the extraordinary is a key piece
hot chocolate splatters—trusting in the Lord, of counseling wisdom. For example, often the
desiring to be more like Christ, and eager to Bible will directly name an extreme case. The
see good fruit displayed in our life together as 6th commandment forbids murder. But we learn
a family. that the scope is far wider when Jesus says that
our anger with close kinfolk is liable to judgment
* * * (paraphrase of Matthew 5:22). God illumines the
ordinary, teaching us how to understand mild
Postscript cases as the same kind of thing.
A mundane accident, an angry comment. And Notice how a similar extension of meaning
it’s not just the spilt milk, but the treadmill of happened in the story we just read. A warning
sick kids, sibling squabbles, loads of laundry, about big, bad things—“rivalry and conceit”—
diapers to change, meals to prepare, dishes to illumined the little things that happen over
do. Exhaustion and irritation—“having a bad spilt milk. We live in a world where countless
day”—come to define a whole season in life. mothers roll their eyes, nag, scold, bully, yell, or
Few people seek “counseling” for such everyday do a slow burn. (And countless fathers, children,
problems and pressures. But the LORD God husbands, wives, bosses, workers, passengers,
happily seeks such “counselees.” He works and drivers are not exempt from temptation!) It
toward quietly wondrous transformations in takes a wise mother to make the connection from
small places. that Scripture to life. Making that connection
One of the deep charms of God’s approach then connects her to the merciful Scripture that
to people is how he touches and dignifies the follows: Jesus considers us and seeks our good.
everyday with significance. What mothers say to And making the connection with God’s mercies
daughters and daughters say to mothers matters. then connects her back to Ella in humility,
People are listening to what you say and how you wisdom, and mercy. Such a reconnected mother
say it: “The ear tests words like the palate tastes has every reason to consider her daughter and
food”(Job 34:3). Is what I’m hearing good to eat? seek her good. Such a mother has wisdom
God, too, is all ears. We are made in the image to impart. She becomes a counselor to other
of the God to whom words matter, so he listens mothers—and to the rest of us in the disgruntled
carefully. He weighs the significance and the human race.
intention of every word ever spoken, written and
thought—Matthew 12:36–37. He finds words David Powlison
either delectable or disgusting. Words are either

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B o ok R e v ie w

Free Range Kids: How to Raise Safe,

Self-Reliant Children
(Without Going Nuts with Worry)
Lenore Skenazy, (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2010), 256 pages.

Reviewed by Myriam Hertzog

In March of 2008, Lenore Skenazy, mother of perfection served up daily” (p. xii). Instead, she
two, resident of New York City and writer for says, they should be “world-proofing their baby.”
the New York Sun, mentioned in an article that In other words, parents should allow children
she had let her nine-year-old son Izzy ride to face struggles, give them tools to overcome
the subway home alone from Bloomingdale’s those struggles, and grant them freedom to
department store. A media frenzy quickly figure out the world more independently. This,
multiplied stories around the world—was this she asserts, will help create children who are
mother insane, or just bizarre? One tabloid more confident, more likely to thrive and better
dubbed her “America’s Worst Mom.” Skenazy equipped to become contributing, productive
was surprised at this disproportionate reaction. citizens. It’s high time we learn to let our kids
Her son was familiar with the subway system go “free range,” she says. Such “independence
and had been begging her for months to let training” will help children learn to fend for
him ride alone. She had armed him with a themselves, to trust their own instincts as they
map, a metro card and $20 in change. He was determine their limits, and rise to challenges
well-schooled in whom to avoid and ways to with confidence rather than fear.
ask for help. Even so, most of America thought This review will highlight four of the major
Skenazy was out of her mind. ideas Skenazy proposes in her thirteen-chapter
In response, Skenazy published Free book. I will first summarize these arguments
Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant and then evaluate each one from a biblical
Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry). The perspective.
book maintains that Americans have become
“helicopter parents”who“hover”over their kids Arguments for Free-Range Parenting
assuring that no harm or difficulties come to 1. We are much safer than we realize.
them. This has caused children to be fearful, Skenazy contends that we are much safer
unable to fend for themselves, and overly than we think we are. She believes we suffer
dependent on their parents. Although it is a from an over-active 21st century American
natural desire to keep children safe, Skenazy imagination that believes our society to be
feels that parents are “baby-proofing” their fraught with imminent danger: child molesters
children’s world: making life into “one big on every block, murderers and rapists in the
smoothie” with “no lumps, no bumps, just sweet local Seven-Eleven, predators following our
kids home or stalking them in cyberspace.
___________________________________________ But America is safer than it has ever been:
Myriam Hertzog (M.A.R.) is a CCEF counseling student

82 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

“Violent crime…has plummeted by about “What’s wrong with knees?” she asks. “Knees
50 percent since it peaked in 1992.” (p. xv). were made for crawling” (p. 33). These and
Child abduction, a parent’s worst fear, is an other such devices only strain both the budget
infinitesimally small possibility. The National and the psyche of the parents, who fall prey to
Center for Missing and Exploited Children cites the lie that if they do not buy the proper gadget,
a 1 in 1.5 million chance (.0007 percent) of a they will be responsible for harm to their child.
child being abducted and killed by a stranger Kids are resilient, says Skenazy, and “world-
(p. 16). Children are far more likely to be hurt in proofing your baby” is a much cheaper and
a car accident or in a swimming pool than by an much wiser solution.
abductor. Skenazy does not deny that dangers
are inherent to society, but urges her readers to 3. Helicopter parenting breeds distrust and
pride, and severs communal ties.
realize that not every social situation, party, or
Skenazy observes that today’s parents are
get-together is imminently dangerous.
not only constantly fearful but also incredibly
2. We listen to the wrong voices. critical of each other. In an effort to get their
Skenazy claims that our attitudes are parenting “right” they criticize others who are
shaped by television, other mass media and getting it “wrong.” They viciously condemn
what she calls the “kiddie-safety industry.” one another on blogging sites: “How dare you
Each sells fear. Skenazy cites a former Tucson introduce formula?” “Your kid’s still in diapers?
anchorwoman, Tina Naughton Powers, who What’s wrong with you?” In her chapter
wrote: “On local news, it’s ‘Good Evening “Ignore the Blamers,” Skenazy discusses
and welcome to death, doom and destruction. how such “blaming” is making every parent
Here’s what didn’t happen to you today, but it feel incompetent and unworthy to meet a
could so we’ll keep you in fear’” (p. 18). perfectionist standard.
According to Skenazy, we are turning to Parents are also ruthlessly critical of those
a world of “experts” (books, blogs, internet who come into contact with their kids, even
sites, etc.) for the wisdom needed to raise our resorting to lawsuits. A Little League coach
children, while ignoring the wise voices of is sued for allowing a child to stand with the
family members, trusted friends, or our own sun in his eyes, or for an injury caused by
common sense. She quotes Dr. Spock’s 1946 sliding into home plate (p. 45). Because of such
baby book, which states “Trust yourself. You lawsuits, coaches, teachers or anyone working
know more than you think you do.” She says with children must have their lawyer’s number
that the mantra of today’s “experts” is “Trust at their fingertips. Trust is as scarce as a child
us. There is so much you don’t know” (p. 29). playing ball on the front lawn.
She encourages us to remember that thousands Skenazy does not offer any analysis of the
of people before us got through life “without cause of such distrust —but she does see that
child-rearing manuals, pregnancy books, or it hurts parents’ ability to parent wisely and
potty-training treatises. If you seek parenting reduces a healthy sense of community.
advice, first try asking an older parent you
4. Children are babied and not seen as key
admire. She’ll be thrilled and her advice won’t contributors to society.
last 378 pages” (p. 30). Babying kids is a fairly modern concept.
Skenazy sees the kiddie-safety industry A few decades ago, children started paid
as the other main influence on parents. In her babysitting jobs or paper routes at ten or twelve
chapter “Boycott Baby Knee Pads,” she shows years of age. Children regularly participated
that in order to sell $1.7 billion worth of products in strenuous household chores or worked
to parents, businesses must first convince alongside their parents on the farm. Some
them that minor dangers are major and that took apprenticeships at twelve or thirteen.
kids should never experience any adversity or But now, parents take second jobs to pay for
suffering (p. 33). But if children are never forced prom dresses, smart phones and other “perks.”
to face difficulties, they are not being trained to Children are mollycoddled, overprotected,
“face the real world.” She laughs at “baby knee spoiled and rarely allowed to venture outside
pads” designed to “protect” crawling infants. alone. Today’s youth are so fragile that when

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they arrive at college they have earned the Second, behind her parenting framework is the
nickname “teacups” by college administrators. desire to develop a child’s untapped potential,
In the Atlantic Monthly article “How to Land rather than communicating to them that they
Your Kid in Therapy,” Lori Gottlieb calls our have none. Third, she raises heart-searching
young people “handicapped  royalty.” 1 questions about the world, our children and
Skenazy observes that as young people ourselves: How can we trust each other? How
have lost responsibilities in society, they also can we make wise decisions? How can we learn
have lost the ability to contribute positively from history? These are good questions to ask.
to it. We want our children to become fine, Of course, parenting can be a scary
upstanding adults, but treat them as sweet, silly endeavor. I have had close calls with both of my
babies (p. 75). She proposes that we encourage sons. A massive dresser toppled on my older son,
our children to exercise their own freedoms and the younger one ingested thyroid medicine
both inside and outside the home by letting on two separate occasions. God preserved
them walk a few blocks to and from school by them both, but I learned that my “free-range”
themselves, take a turn at cooking breakfast, instincts need limits and that the issues raised
care for the family pet, and so forth. This will by Skenazy are not easily answered.
make them feel more useful and more capable, As Christians, how do we answer the
which, in turn, will make them real contributors questions Skenazy raises? How do we apply
to the family and the society. practical wisdom to our everyday parenting?
After all, over-protection is a lesser evil than
A Christian Response to Free Range Parenting abuse, neglect, or sinful models of “freedom.”
Is it time to go “free-range”? Should we let our But have we gone too far? Have we over-
kids venture out more and use their sense of compensated for the loss of community we feel
direction, instead of their I-phone GPS system? in modern life? And if we need to pull back,
Should we let them explore the woods behind how do we consider our actions biblically?
the house instead of the cable channel menu? Let’s review Skenazy’s four points from a
Can we give them more responsibilities and biblical perspective.
freedoms? Probably yes, but we need to be sure
we are doing so for the right reasons. 1. We are safer than we realize…but God
I grew up in a small French village and met promises something better than physical safety.
my best childhood friend when her mother, It’s true. We are safer than we realize. The
a complete stranger to us, stopped her car statistics that Skenazy cites are comforting.
by the side of the road where I was picking But we are still not in control of what might
blackberries with my siblings. She asked us happen to our kids. Skenazy does recognize
back to her house to meet her daughter and to our lack of control, but does so in a way that
swim in her pool. We all jumped into her car is ultimately not hopeful because the triune
without a second thought. Come to think of God is absent. She writes: “Harsh fickle fate is
it, we were “abducted” by a stranger and swam so hard to accept in an age when we believe
in her pool: two extremely perilous situations! we can control everything” (p. 56). Later she
Her daughter and I are great friends thirty says, “We are not actually in the driver’s seat.
years later. This type of upbringing makes Or at least there’s a driving instructor next to
me sympathetic to Skenazy’s points. I have us…and his name is Luck or Fate or God or
maintained many free-range principles in my Bobo…” (p. 97).
own parenting. I generally ignore product Skenazy’s worldview leads her to believe
recalls, don’t follow the news, and require my that harsh or fickle fate (or some other power
son to pack his own lunches. she cannot understand) is ultimately in
So, I thoroughly enjoyed this book—but control. She is brave enough to admit that
not just because of my upbringing. She makes belief in “parental omnipotence” is ultimately
some very interesting points. First, Skenazy foolish. Her counsel is to relax, be brave, trust
has a creative and thoughtful approach that yourself and trust your kids. But how can
encourages parents to think for themselves Skenazy trust her kids to Bobo? Wouldn’t an
and not just blindly accept the culture’s mores. overprotective parent be preferable?

84 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

 As Christians, we don’t have to choose Voice will give us wisdom we can share with
between Bobo and being a helicopter parent. others as the occasion arises.
We trust our kids to a sovereign and loving
God. We can live in a fallen world by faith and 3. Helicopter parenting breeds distrust and
pride, and severs communal ties…but as
not by fear only by believing in the God who Christians we are to work toward creating
orders all things for our good. True, God does community with both believers and unbelievers.
not guarantee physical safety and this is a hard Skenazy offers no explanation as to why
truth to digest, but as we live faithfully and our culture has become so distrustful, but she
teach our children to do the same, we can trust clearly sees the breakdown of communication
and believe that our heavenly Father tenderly and confidence. We are not connecting well
watches our every move. Neither a hair (nor a with others or learning to build bridges with
dresser!) can fall without him knowing it. And other parents. Instead of engaging in real live
the good news is that he gives us something interactions, we may, without realizing it, cut off
even better than physical safety: spiritual safety. relationships through busyness, full schedules,
Because of Christ, we are spared from the or the use of technology and social media.
consequences of our own sin and are eternally Trusting others depends on knowing them,
safe. And although the physical protection of seeing them, and experiencing a wide variety
our children is important, our greater hope is of social contexts. This is both challenging
that they come to know God’s love for them in and time-consuming, but it is our calling from
Christ and turn to him in repentance. Instead God—and it is usually rewarding.
of becoming helicopter parents, we entrust our We should not have a posture of automatic
beloved children to the Lord, asking him to suspicion toward others when it comes to
keep them safe both physically and spiritually. raising our children. We can afford to welcome
Our acceptance of the author’s premise advice from one another and invite the older
that our children’s physical safety is greater generation to teach us. We can hope to be a
than we think, is therefore based on our trust in blessing wherever we go with our children.
God—not in crime statistics. Believers must not allow “stranger phobia” to
keep them from offering a cheerful greeting
2. We listen to the wrong voices…and must
instead listen to the True voice. to a woman in the park or from allowing our
Do we listen to the wrong voices? Do we children to play with hers. By insisting on a
accept the reports of mass media and the child germ-free, over-protected environment in
safety “experts” as Skenazy posits? Christians church or in a public setting, are we teaching
ought to know better than to make the TV news our children that serving others is inherently
the measure of truth! Instead, we are to listen dangerous? Fear attempts to control. Both
to God’s voice and apply his wisdom as we fear and control express a self-focused life
analyze the media and the consumer industry. that unintentionally sidesteps the riches of
Yet, that does not mean we are free from relationship with others, a gift God offers us
anxiety. We live in a world filled with real daily. Self-protection is lonely and isolating. We
dangers and we face an unknown future every are compelled to speak in Jesus’ name, to reach
day. But the Lord is compassionate and knows out to others, heart-to-heart and face-to-face.
this is not an easy path for us. His voice tells us And yes, we also need to learn when and how
to turn to him when we are anxious. He will to trust others.
help us learn to balance these two truths: 1) 4. Children are babied and not seen as key
Something terrible could happen, and 2) He contributors to society…but we are to raise
is still good and sovereignly in control, even disciples of the King who live redemptive and
should something terrible happen. This helps us productive lives.
quiet our anxiety and live wisely, knowing we Skenazy is correct in her analysis that
can trust God for the events of each day. our children are babied and the result is
Listening to the True voice will help us “handicapped royalty” who are as fragile as
decide what advice to receive from those around teacups. The culture of self-esteem, enabling,
us and what advice to ignore. In addition, that and over-protection has failed them. But every

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child-rearing system that is not biblically- kingdom disciples, and train them to see their
based will ultimately fail. Instead of elevating place in their families, society and the kingdom
one system over another we would do well to come.
to look at how Jesus treats children. In the
gospel accounts, we see that he welcomes and Free-Range or Something Better?
values children. Skenazy observes something true about our
C.S. Lewis captures Christ’s attitude culture—we are too afraid and overprotective
toward children well in The Chronicles of of our children, and we should give thought to
Narnia. Aslan—the Jesus figure—is depicted our ways. We should consider some free-range
as someone who reckons and wrestles with ideas. Her book offers food for thought that
the hearts and souls of children. His attitude is may help identify the anxieties of parents and
never condescending or demeaning, but noble their struggles with children who feel entitled to
and full of respect. The tasks Aslan gives the pampering. It may assist us to recognize ways in
children are mighty, honorable ones—tasks which we are accepting cultural pressures and
that require hard work, patience, surrender norms rather than thinking through parental
and even suffering. These hardships turn them issues from a biblical perspective.
into more beautiful sons and daughters. This Yet, we must keep in mind that though her
too is a hard thing to wrestle with as a parent. observations have merit, her ideology does not.
Can we trust God’s good work in their lives Her goal is for us to trust in our own instincts
even when there is hardship or suffering? Or and breed self-reliant kids. But as Christians,
do we revert back to overprotecting them as if we know that we need to trust in God, not
God is not in control? May we be challenged to ourselves, and teach our kids to be God-reliant,
believe that when they do endure hardship and not self-reliant. Surely, this is better than her
suffering, it will be an opportunity for them to version of free-range.
personally learn the grace and love of God for As our children learn to rely on the Lord,
them in Christ! Augustine’s motto: “Love God and do what you
Since our aim is to raise kingdom disciples, will” may gradually become a motto of freedom
we also want to encourage them to be active within the structure of God’s law, reflecting
contributors not only in the home, but also in his heart. Such a motto can apply to kids as
the world. Paul encouraged Timothy not to let much as it applies to adults (with wise parental
others look down on him because of his youth hedges). After all, parents cannot hover forever.
(1 Tim 4:12). Do we give our kids opportunities Children will grow up and their parents must
to serve the church? Do we seek ways to help be willing to surrender their children’s lives to
them serve and work in various contexts? Do the Shepherd of their souls. In the wisdom of
we teach them useful skills? Skenazy mentions Christ, we need not be “chicken” about going
a couple who sent their 12 year old son to do free-range—at least just a little.
a computer programming “apprenticeship” at _______________________________________
1 Lori Gottlieb, “How to Land your Kid in Therapy,”
a local college. It takes some “out of the box” Atlantic Monthly, July/August (2011): 67.
thinking, but such endeavors will challenge our
young people to rise to the calling they have as

86 The Journal of Biblical Counseling Volume 26 | Number 3

B o o k R e v ie w

Crazy Like Us: The Globalization of

the American Psyche
Ethan Watters, (New York: Free Press, 2010), 291 pages.

Reviewed by Edward T. Welch

Ethan Watters is a journalist who has taken vantage points he considers anorexia, post
on several projects debunking modern traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia
psychotherapy.1 In Crazy Like Us he further and depression, respectively.
explores that interest by considering the impact
of one of America’s most successful exports— Anorexia in Hong Kong
our way of understanding and treating mental Very few women in Hong Kong voluntarily
illness. His basic idea is that our diagnostic starved themselves before the 1990s. Then the
system and underlying view of the person is ingredients came together:
not only changing the way the world thinks • For a culture to revise its view of the
about mental health, it is also changing the way person—which is necessary if you are
the world experiences life’s problems. going to import American psychiatry—
It is one thing to affect how the global there is usually a time of uncertainty that
culture thinks about mental health. But Watters’ suggests a need for change. After the
claim is even more audacious: the way the world Tiananmen Square riots, Hong Kong’s
experiences mental illness is actually changing. culture experienced significant upheaval as
This challenges the received view that modern it anticipated a return to Chinese rule. As
psychiatric diagnoses are mere descriptions many families emigrated to avoid potential
collected through careful scientific processes. unrest, the family structure in Hong
Instead, he suggests that these diagnoses both Kong was disrupted and a new idea of
describe experience and shape it. For example, a individualism began to emerge. Because of
diagnosis tells you that you are depressed, but it their curiosity and malleability, adolescents
goes even further. It shapes how you should feel were the first ones impacted by these
depressed by quietly revising your understanding cultural shifts. With the new focus on the
of yourself. And, Watters suggests, the American individual, the adolescent years became
system does not necessarily have it right. more tumultuous for Hong Kong’s youth.
To establish his thesis, Watters’ book takes • Add to this unrest a highly publicized
you to four different countries—China, Sri event: the death of a frail teenage girl.
Lanka, Zanzibar, and Japan—and from these Struggling to make sense of why this girl
would starve herself, Chinese reporters
___________________________________________ looked to Western psychiatry for answers.
Edward Welch (M.Div., Ph.D.) counsels and teaches at Her death became the occasion for media
CCEF. He is the author of “When People Are Big and God reports about the new problem of anorexia.
Is Small.”
• The result: anorexia became a way to express

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 adolescent anxieties. Self-starvation, which Had Americans taken time to understand
up to this point was seen in a fraction of Sri Lankan culture, they would have understood
one percent of the population, suddenly that decades of disaster have helped make Sri
appeared everywhere. Chinese women Lankans resilient to hardship—functional
who food-restrict increasingly conformed and hopeful even in disaster. Not only that,
to the American prototype. their distress over the event would likely be
Watters argues that anorexia is not a universal experienced in the body as physical pain, not
pattern, but in most cases a copy-cat response psychological pain.
that takes certain cultural conditions to go viral. In this case, the Sri Lankans were kind
In the case of anorexia, the experience as well and hospitable to the American experts, but
as the diagnosis became a successful export. did not accept the export. Once mental health
workers left, the shaping influences of the
PTSD in Sri Lanka PTSD diagnoses were minimal. Old traditions,
In Sri Lanka, Watters looks at post-traumatic interpretations, and ways of processing life
stress disorder (PTSD) in light of the tsunami survived. There was no massive shift to the
of 2004. As with other recent disasters, such Americans’ therapeutic way of understanding
as the attack on the World Trade Center and and treating trauma, and the population
Hurricane Katrina, the tsunami mobilized did not fulfill the prophecies of massive
thousands of American PTSD experts who emotional crippling.
swarmed in to “debrief” victims in hopes of
averting what many thought could become a Schizophrenia in Zanzibar
mental health disaster. Here, Watters believes, For his third case study, Watters explores
the American mental health system displayed schizophrenia in Zanzibar. He interviewed
its worst characteristics. an American anthropologist who came to
The American system professes a strong Zanzibar to discern how it is that people
desire to respect cultural pluralism, but it diagnosed with schizophrenia in developing
defaults to imposing its view of diagnosis and nations have a better long-term prognosis
treatment. When you have a diagnostic code than those who live in developed nations.
and assume it is rooted in universal responses Watters learned that psychiatric diagnoses,
of the brain, then you are not inclined to listen which hope to relieve the stigma of mental
as carefully. illness, actually create barriers in this
Here is the template the American mental country. There is high cultural tolerance for
health experts brought to the Sri Lankans: eccentricities and outright bizarre behavior
A healthy response to the crisis demands in Zanzibar. Most people don’t identify the
remembering and retelling. Those affected by affected person’s good days or bad days. The
the tsunami had to talk about the details of the family simply gathers the person in and gives
experience and the accompanying emotions. To the freedom to participate in family matters
avoid this step would leave victims in denial and or not. If the person’s behaviors were seen
keep them from working through the necessary as an illness, families would have to respond
stages of grief. Painful intrusions of the event more aggressively, most likely by enlisting the
were sure to follow. aid of local healers. Instead, they normalize
That theory did not square with the the behavior and use an interpretive blend
Sri Lankan experience. They said that the of spirit-influence and “I don’t know” as
Americans completely missed the meaning that their guide.
people attributed to the tsunami. The debriefing Along the way, families discovered what
techniques of the therapists, in which people Watters cites as the most accepted axiom in
recount the traumatic experience, were viewed by schizophrenia treatment: the best outcome
the Sri Lankans as impolite and inappropriate. In is to have the person who struggles with
fact, those who followed the American protocol schizophrenia live in a caring home where
and were diagnosed as mentally healthy, were family members include them and don’t
the very ones that the host culture identified as overreact. By this, the person is spared from
misfits and, sometimes, dangerous. having difficulties define identity.

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 However, Watters reports that a family psychiatrists now talk about anti-depressants
that has been influenced by the Western being massively over-prescribed—but these
biomedical model approaches the family same psychiatrists continue to over-prescribe.
member with schizophrenia differently. In Watters cites information that has become
these instances, it was observed that families common knowledge:
exert more control over the person, which • There is no evidence of a brain disease
quickly becomes dehumanizing. Also, if the in depression.
problem is biomedical, then it is viewed more • Research studies are controlled by the
as a permanent one (because the risk of drug companies.
relapse is always possible). This assumption of • Studies that showed no benefit or harm
permanence then negatively affects how others from the medications were suppressed.
view and treat the person, and how the person • Ghost writers were hired by the drug
self-identifies. Here again, Watters finds that companies to put the right spin on the
the Western understanding and approach to research articles.
schizophrenia is not universally helpful. In fact, But this information won’t change anything
we have a lot to learn from other cultures. in Japan or anywhere else. Scientific research
didn’t start the rise of modern psychiatry, and
Depression in Japan debunking of the scientific research alone
Watters saves his most significant example won’t change it. As Thomas Kuhn suggested in
for his final section—“the mega-marketing The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, it takes
of depression in Japan.” He follows the a teetering worldview and the emergence of
trail of Paxil’s introduction to Japan. First, new beliefs for a psychiatric way-of-thinking to
its manufacturer, GlaxoSmithKline (GSK), gain influence.
wanted to understand the Japanese culture,
and they pursued experts to help them. Psychiatry Forgets that We Are People
Then they had to identify “depression” as a in Community
problem, because Japan had neither a word Watters tries to be measured in his conclusions.
nor a group of symptoms that matched the In the end, he wants to say that modern mental
American diagnosis. In other words, GSK had a health still misses that we are people-in-
solution—Paxil—but no problem. Furthermore, community and that community has its own
Paxil tended to be a stimulant and the Japanese answers to the basic questions of life (e.g.,
preferred something calming. But the company Who are we? Why do we have problems?).
was not deterred. Under the label of “a cold of Furthermore, the American mental health
the soul,” they added the following. system cannot assume that its “scientific”
• Web-based marketing that circumvented approach supplies a superior worldview.
the pesky advertising rules about how What is behind the American system of
medications are marketed to the public. mental health, according to Watters? We are
• Broad and ambiguous diagnostic criteria hyper-introspective and hyper-individualistic.
that approximated the melancholic style of We are driven to avoid suffering rather than
many in Japan. find meaning in it. We shun spiritual answers
• A reinterpretation of Japanese suicide that and reduce our problems to brain-based
made it a feature of depression, rather pathologies. In order to avoid those pathologies
than an honorable means of dealing with we take medication or follow a prescribed
a shameful event. regimen of psychotherapy.
• Research statistics suggested the brain-
Not Everyone Is Crazy Like Us
based nature of this “cold.”
Watters makes a fairly ordinary claim in arguing
This still might not have been enough to win the
that the U.S. is exporting a template for how to
culture over. But then Crown Princess Masako
experience personal problems. If the American
publicly shared that she had struggled with
diagnostic system arrives with a new way of
depression. The subsequent media firestorm
understanding what it means to be human,
put the diagnosis of depression on the map.
then that export will certainly shape people’s
Like their American counterparts, Japanese
experience of life problems. For example, if

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someone believes that the gods are in control, implies that American psychology misses
then the loss of a job will be a small bump on the outward, communal nature of humanity.
the karmic road. But if the person believes that But reality is more complicated. There is
a job was necessary for personal fulfillment, currently a trend within the American system
then the loss will be devastating. Watters is to appreciate our community instincts and
not saying anything new here. The American influences. Psychologists such as Kenneth J.
therapeutic model is a worldview that changes Gergen from Swarthmore College have written
the way people experience the world. at length on how postmodernism provides
How successfully has the American new opportunities to examine both culture and
system been exported? Results are mixed. community, and psychological ethics compel
In China, renewed openness to the world psychologists to appreciate the cultural setting
coupled with the existential emptiness of of a client. But I agree with Watters that the
communist solutions has left China susceptible hyper-introspective and hyper-individualistic
to American ways. China has lost many of its assumptions of modern psychology still
traditions, along with the answers to life’s basic run deep.
questions that accompany those traditions. What might biblical counselors do with
They may export manufactured goods to the Watters’ book?
U.S., but the American mental health system First, any time you are taken to other
exports new ways of understanding people and countries, even through literature, simply
experiencing personal problems to them. enjoy the trip. We are missionaries at heart,
Japan too is susceptible. It prefers its and insights into how other cultures think and
solutions to come with the veneer of science. operate always hold our interest.
Its modern style of thought leaves Japan only Second, we consider ourselves. Books
too happy to rely on mechanical solutions to that consider these larger issues of culture
personal problems. and worldview are an occasion to look at our
Sri Lanka and Zanzibar, on the other hand, own movement. If Watters were to turn his
refused conversion. Their cultural traditions are critical eye on us as biblical counselors, what
intact and they feel no need to update them. might he see? We, after all, intentionally export
The American therapeutic model is politely a worldview to other cultures. And though
ignored—at least for now. we know that biblical truth is universal, are
there ways to avoid the mistakes and cultural
The View from Biblical Counseling clumsiness cited in this book? This is something
Before I give a few thoughts on what we might to keep in mind as we talk to our brothers and
do with Watters’ book, I want to draw attention sisters in other parts of the world. We must
to why I reviewed it. My choice could reflect learn what it looks like to be methodologically
a broader CCEF penchant for appreciating flexible in our counseling approach, even as we
cranky and contrarian books, especially when remain theologically faithful.
the crankiness is leveled against modern Third, we are reminded that modern
psychotherapies, but I hope there is more than psychotherapy and psychiatric practice do
that. There is a way that Scripture is subversive not consist of scraps of truth that gradually
and counter-cultural, so a book that raises new accumulate. Instead, they are ways of seeing
questions tends to catch my eye. Also, Watters ourselves and our world that are strong
prefers a less parochial view of people, which enough to impact whole cultures. The question
should resonate with all who follow Jesus. begging to be asked from Watters’ book is,
Indeed, we are embodied, but we are embodied “How does a psychiatric way-of-thinking
souls who live before God. We are influenced control our interpretations of ourselves and
by our communities and eras, and we are how we experience our daily struggles?” More
influenced by spiritual beings (Eph. 6:11–12). specifically, if psychiatric approaches can affect
We see the kernels of truth in reductionistic entire cultures, then they certainly can affect the
approaches, but we know they are reductionistic Christian church. How are we affected? Ponder
and, therefore, limited in their usefulness. that question. And expect that Christians who
One weakness of the book is that Watters come for counseling will have been influenced

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by the psychologized and psychiatrized culture than that, but the Christian church has been
we live in. slow to raise the kind of questions that Watters
American thinking tends to view whatever raises in this book.
is the latest as “the best.” In this case, the _______________________________________
current psychiatric system seems to represent 1 Watters’ other books are Making Monsters: False
an advance over everything that has come Memories, Psychotherapy, and Sexual Hysteria and Therapy’s
Delusions: The Myth of the Unconscious and the Exploitation
before it. The real picture is more complicated of Today’s Walking Worried.

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Restoring Christ to Counseling & Counseling to the Church