JESSICA HAGY

WORKMAN PUBLISHING • NEW YORK

 Contents
Introduction: Why Be Interesting
Step 1: Go Exploring
Step 2: Share What You Discover
Step 3: Do Something. Anything.
Step 4: Embrace Your Weirdness
Step 5: Have a Cause
Step 6: Minimize the Swagger
Step 7: Give It a Shot
Step 8: Hop Off the Bandwagon
Step 9: Grow a Pair
Step 10: Ignore the Scolds
Epilogue: In Summary
Acknowledgements
About the Author
 Introduction: Why Be Interesting
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To limit your regrets.

So you can respect yourself.
In order to banish boredom.
So that you can leave a mark, not a blemish.
And most of all, because you can.

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 Step 1
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Explore ideas, places, and opinions. The inside of the echo

chamber is where all the boring people hang out.

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No one has seen exactly what you have. No one has been to all the
places you’ve visited. No one feels just as you do.
Find out why.

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How far to go? Roll the dice. Seven blocks it is. Take the train? Roll
evens and buy the ticket. Two dice can take you practically
anywhere and save you lots of time on unimportant decisions. Keep
them in your pocket. They’ll help keep things interesting.

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Without a map, you can find uncharted places. Be unreachable; you

can talk to people on your journey. Miss a few updates from others,
and discover yourself instead. Your gadgets are tethering you to a
world you know very well.
Turn them off to explore new places.

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Do the opposite of expected. Defend the guilty. Question the pure.

See which facts are opinions and which opinions are facts. There are
many sides to every story, and they all need to be told.

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If only for a few minutes. Stroll around in the early hours, when the
sunlight is a sliver. Walk to a different mailbox. Read magazines in a
Laundromat. Shower in the dark. Sip hot chocolate in an alley.
Reclaim your spare moments.

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Open your mouth and say nothing, just observe. How does the early
morning dew taste? What is the flavor profile of your commute?
Does someone else’s detergent remind you of childhood? Why do
airports all smell the same?

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Wake up before the alarm. Steal moments between stoplights to

compose poems. Sneak off to a moonlit spot when you’d otherwise
be watching something on a glowing screen. Work at night and play
in the daytime. Carve out hours for the dreams you’ve been putting
off.
There’s always time to explore. You get to decide when it is.

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A faded sign. An eye patch. A broken lock. A photo torn in half. A flat
tire. A small scar. A spilled cup. A pause when her lover’s name is
mentioned. Each detail tells a story. And every room holds a
thousand details. Look for them.
Find the interesting stories.
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Parents hate it when kids do it.

Why? Because.
Why? Because.
Why? Because.
And on and on. But try it. You’ll be surprised at how quickly a simple
Why? can turn into a fascinating Because.

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And be generous when you do. Not everybody went

exploring with you.

Let them live vicariously through your adventures.

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Do not wait until tomorrow.

Say, do, or make it now. Go where you need to be. Do not wait to be
invited places. Host your own parties. Do not sit by the phone. Pick it
up. Spread the word. Press the buttons. Buy the tickets and enjoy
the show.

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What you have is worth a lot. Seek out the people who need it. Know
what you can do and tell people that you’re willing to do it. They will
treasure and remember you. Your time. Your talents. Your
compliments. A seat at your table. A cup of sugar. A clean pair of
socks.
The world needs whatever it is that you have.

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What’s known to you is often a mystery to others. Your old fact is

someone else’s new lesson. Your simple task is someone else’s
impossible chore. Your mind is full of treasures that no one else has
seen. Pass them on. An idea shared is not diminished: It’s multiplied.

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Wave hello instead of looking away. Leave your perspectives in

places where others can find them. Put your work in the window, not
the basement.
Conversations begin with small steps toward each other.

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Bring others into your world. Let them play where you hang out.
Don’t wait for invitations when you can host. You can get something
started as long as there is at least one person you can invite.

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Don’t just tell. Don’t just listen. Make introductions. Set up strangers.
Pass on what you know. This is how ideas snowball into events. You
can be the fulcrum upon which an entire community turns.

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Kind words are quite precious and cost nothing; it’s surprising that
they’re so rare. Laud what you enjoy. Praise the people who excel in
novel ways. Do it publicly and often.
Everyone needs more encouragement.

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You are only one phone call, one letter, one text message, one
email, one “hi there!” away from everyone. Yes, everyone. The
people you admire, who inspire and impress you, the people you
love or would like to love—they are all so very reachable.
That’s scary and comforting at the same time, isn’t it?
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What are people talking about? Love? Loss? The weather? The
magical? The mundane? What they have nicknamed their nether
regions? The simple act of conversation can bring people together
and expose you to interesting topics. So strike up conversations
when you can.

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You see and you evaluate. You read and you ponder. This is human
nature: We interpret information as we absorb it.
Well-constructed options add to the original artifact.

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Dance. Talk. Build. Network. Play. Help. Create. It doesn’t

matter what you do, as long as you’re doing it. Sitting around
and complaining is not an acceptable form of “something,” in
case you were wondering.
Real life is always in 3-D. It’s always in high-definition. Outside is
where the fascinating people and happenings are. It’s where you’ll
find whatever it is you’re looking for.
If it is unappetizing: Do not eat, date, or sign up for it. If the mere
thought of it is depressing: Do not major in it, sit through it, or devote
your life to it. If it is not important to you: Do not do it only because it
is important to someone else.
You will thank yourself.
Not sure what to do with your day? Your life? Your career? Frankly, it
doesn’t matter. Even the most intricately organized plans can
crumble. And oscillating between options is a great way to
procrastinate your life away. Flip a coin. Spin a bottle. Trust your gut.
And off you go.
You’ll need help. You’ll need advice. You’ll need allies. So you have
to tell someone how you feel and what you’re up to. Let people in on
what you’re doing.
They will champion and support you more than you ever imagined,
and mock you less than you fear.
Join a club. Take a class. Volunteer. Have a party. Take a meeting.
What we do shapes who we are. Be someone who’s been there,
done that, and wants to do new things tomorrow.
Irony gets in the way of experience. Drop the pretense, and you’ll
have room to carry the day.
Sing along to cheesy pop music. Enjoy things that are out of style.
Make silly faces. Stop stifling your giggles.
Give yourself permission to enjoy yourself.
Not every activity is worthwhile. Not every dreadful task is
mandatory. Avoid the things that drag you down and make you
weary. And if you must do them (laundry, taxes), then do them with
gusto and put them out of your mind. You’ll have more room for what
matters. More room for what’s interesting.
Start with a wonder. How does this work? What makes that happen?
Then poke. Take things apart and put them back together. Push
buttons. Change settings. See how the pieces fit. See what powers
the engine. See how interesting it all is.
Seek someone who makes you smile. Someone who lives the way
you want to. Someone you admire. Someone real and imperfect.
Learn from them two things:

1. What they do well

2. What they do not do so well
You have treasured people, places, and things. They are precious
and powerful. Fight for them. Don’t just let them lounge in the back of
your mind.
A love ignored will wither and die.
Whatever you’re doing, enjoy it. Embrace it. Master it as well as you
can. Own it. This is how to combine a sense of freedom with a
feeling of safety.
 Step 4
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No one is normal. Everyone has quirks and insights unique

to themselves. Don’t hide these things—they are what make
you interesting.

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Dress up. Dress down. Grab a pail for the seashore. Put on a hat
only you like. Put on what makes you feel like yourself.
Sometimes the right pair of shoes can make you feel better in your
own skin.

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Costumes. Poses. False smiles and forced conformity. It all gets in

the way of what’s truly interesting.
You are innately unique: There’s no need to hide behind an ill-fitting
mask.

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You are not wrong to be unique. You not incorrect because you are
different. You should not be sorry for being interesting.

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Not everyone will understand you. Not everyone will appreciate you.
Not everyone will embrace you.
Do not change for them. Just smile at them, and move along.

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Your weirdness is a valuable thing. A badge of honor. A point of

pride. It sets you apart and helps you find other people who will revel
in your presence—and you in theirs.

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Interesting people are motivated by things bigger than the status

quo. Are you doing what someone else expects you to, or what you
feel, deep down, that you must do?
The only way to exceed expectations is to ignore them—and do what
needs doing instead.

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Who’s more interesting: A famous scientist, or the famous scientist

who plays the cello and whittles marionettes in a lighthouse at the
edge of the world where he sometimes writes poetry by the light of
passing ships?
Exactly. Follow your weird impulses and do all sorts of things.
Getting sidetracked can lead you to exactly where you belong.

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Every day, make another move toward what makes you happy. Take
another step toward adventure. Let another piece of your special sort
of weirdness out.
Before you know it, you’ll be in a very different place—a far more
interesting place.

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Encourage the uniqueness of others. Support what’s odd. Put your

money where the weird is. Spend time doing what’s different,
strange, or amazingly odd.
The world expects compliance, and wonderful weirdos need all the
help they can get.

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What makes you interesting makes you valuable: Only you can
express what you know, do what you do, and know what you know.
You don’t need a giant niche, just one big enough to plant a flag in.

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Don’t run away and join the rat race. Run away and join a circus full
of people who are living their dreams.
If you seek a circus, you’ll be running toward something enjoyable,
instead of merely exhausting yourself.

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 Step 5

If you don’t give a damn about anything, no one will give a

damn about you.
A place. A person. A creature. A song. Now devote a little more of
yourself to that memory.
It feels good to be kissed back. It feels great to give gifts. It feels
spectacular to be a catalyst to the happiness of someone else. Being
generous is disgustingly satisfying.
Who gets your cash? Where do you get it? What people and
companies are involved? Do you agree with their politics, practices,
and behaviors? And is that all okay with you? If not, know you can
always make change with your money.
Spectators do not make news. Observers do not steer history. Be
vulnerable. Be serious. Be immersed. If you want to matter, you have
to climb all the way into the mess that is before you.
Praise the marvelous. Shut down the nasty. Articulate what others
are afraid to say out loud. Further the discourse.
Ask yourself: Is this the best that’s possible? Then ask: Well, what
is?
And spend your time working on that.
Feel greater than fine. Do better than just okay. Amazing is rare, if
only because so few people reach for it. Risking the ordinary is the
only way to get something extraordinary.
You are the protagonist and author of your life’s story. Perfect? No
one is. Compelling? We all can be, if our hearts drive the plot. Be a
character worthy of the ages.
Actions matter. Even small ones.
Give what is important precedence. Everything else will arrange
itself.
Bring together as many people as you can to help you. Share your
energy. Share your ideas. Share your cause.
And make sure you have plenty of cake. Everyone loves cake.
 Step 6

Egos get in the way of ideas. If your arrogance is more

obvious than your expertise, you are someone other people
avoid.
Everything you’ll ever know is only a fraction of a microscopic dribble
in the great, churning universe of information. Let this humbling fact
be comforting in its enormity.
To what is said and what is left out. To the messages between the
words. To the tone of voice. To the sarcasm and to the reverence.
Communication is far more than just words.
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Kings and Queens. Doctors and Lawyers. Popes and Mayors and
Fishmongers. Prostitutes and Librarians.
It’s not the title that matters; it’s the person behind it.

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Your greatest accomplishments, no matter how impressive you think

them to be, are someone else’s worst nightmare. Your most prized
possession is another man’s disgusting chunk of trash. Be careful
what you brag about.

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Interesting people are interested in things other than themselves.

They’re educationally omnivorous. And so they end a lot of
sentences with honest question marks.

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Sign up to learn things. Philosophy, archery, accounting, painting,

diving, fire eating—anything you can admit you do not understand.
You never know when you’ll need a random skill.

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Have you ever been overwhelmingly proud of someone other than

yourself? If you have, you know how buoyant and uplifting it feels.
If you haven’t, you need to get close enough to someone to try.

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Do you deserve what you have? Maybe a little. What you don’t
have? Probably not.
Acknowledge the roles coincidence, chance, systemic processes
(and yes, maybe even luck), play in our world.

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Mistakes happen. Often. Sometimes they’re your fault and

sometimes they’re your misfortune.
Freely admit to both kinds.

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To everyone you meet. Be the helper, the adviser, the assistant the
hero cannot do without.
Fame and value aren’t as closely related as you think.

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Majesty. Glory. Beauty. Balance. Wisdom. The more often you are
amazed, the better your odds of being amazing. Really: How will you
know how high to aim if you’ve never looked up?

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Try it out. Play around with a new idea. Do something

strange. If you never leave your comfort zone, you won’t
grow.

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If you decide that there is more than enough to go around, you’ll find
that you’re correct. The inverse is also true.

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Afraid to fail? Afraid to fail and that other people might find out about
it? So what if you fail? Really: So what if you fail? Would that really
be so bad?

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To deny a dream is to kill it in its infancy.

Don’t feel guilty for taking a shot at something. Don’t feel terrible for
wanting something.
Save the guilt for never giving yourself the chance to try.

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What’s expected of you? Try something else. What’s the next step?
Take a different one.
Typical isn’t mandatory, after all.

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Read randomly. Overhear on purpose. Watch movies and clouds

and people.
The more you absorb, the more you can exude.

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Just because you’ve never been somewhere doesn’t mean you don’t
belong. Just because it’s not in your job description doesn’t mean
you can’t do it. Only you can really decide what league you really
belong in.

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Need permission? Give it to yourself, because most of the time,

nobody else will.

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Say, “Yes, I will be there for you.” Show up, ready for anything. Put
your heart into it. This is how people begin to fall in love with you,
and you with your work.

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Maybe tomorrow? I guess I’ll start later? No, make your plans
kinetic, not potential.
Procrastination leads to regret.

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It takes a very brave person to be emotionally vulnerable. It takes a

strong spirit to go weak in the knees.
Interesting people are characters in interesting love stories.

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Know that obstacles scare away most of the competition. And that
the hardest things are the things that are the most satisfying to be
done with.

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 Step 8

If everyone else is doing it, you’re already late to the party.

Do your own thing, and others will hop onto the spiffy wagon
you built yourself.
So that’s how it’s always been done? That’s “just the way it is”? We
just have to deal with it?
No, not anymore.
Ever sit in traffic and wonder what everyone else sitting in traffic
does for a living? For a hobby? For fun?
There are as many answers as there are people. They’re all
possibilities.
Just because it’s everywhere doesn’t mean it’s good or worth
participating in.
If you find yourself drowning in the vat of popular but boring sludge,
your curiosity will be your lifeline.
The smaller the niche, the less room there is for copycats.
If you want to be interesting, work with specifics, not generics.
You don’t have to be world famous or filthy rich to be successful.
You simply have to do what you do best.
Unlink stress and success. Find the work that satisfies you, and you
might just avoid a heart attack or three.
Every cultural phenomenon starts as an idea. When you have one,
do what you can to take it from the corner of your mind to the public.
The whole world just might embrace it.
You grew up with certain people who did certain things in certain
places. Leave home to see how unique and universal your childhood
was.
When the powers that be overlook something, you can take that
something over and become a power that is.
Revive forgotten stories. Read old books. Dust off forgotten trends.
Listen to rare music. You might find your favorite thing hiding in the
woodwork.
 Step 9
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Bravery is needed to have contrary opinions and to take

unexpected paths. If you’re not courageous, you’re going to
be hanging around the water-cooler, talking about the guy
who actually is.

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If you have a personal dream or a wish or a desire, know that you’re

the only one who gives enough damns to see it realized.

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If you find yourself working for something that feels pointless or

fruitless, stop. Don’t fight for anything you don’t see value in. You’ll
be surprised how many others join you in the protest.

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In order to do interesting things, you need to have the freedom to

explore, experiment, and innovate.
Authorities mainly work to confine, contain, and limit such behavior.
Work around that as much as possible.

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You don’t want to impose. You may shy away from making waves.
You may feel like you couldn’t dare to ask for what you need. You
need to get over that.

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An easy life is like quicksand:Before you know it, you’re trapped and
can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t get to where you really wanted to go.
Don’t coast unless you’re rolling downhill on a bicycle.

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Giving up is boring. Getting frustrated and plowing ahead despite it

all requires the power that only a truly interesting person possesses.

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Society has been known to burn witches. Slavery was legal once,
too. What else is going on that needs to be put right? And what are
you going to do about it?

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When you put yourself out there, a lot of people will reject, dismiss,
or ignore you. But a few will embrace and champion you. While the
nos may sting, only the yeses matter.

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Rearrange furniture, elements, ideas, and opportunities. Then put

the pieces back into a different and better order. It’s time to put the
creativity back into creative destruction.

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If things are unsatisfactory:

1. Document them.
2. Change them.

Few people ever bother with that second bit.

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“Your tongue is a weapon kept sharp with use.” —An anonymous

smart person
Choose your words wisely.

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 Step 10
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Boring is safe, and you will be told to behave yourself. The

scolds could have, would have, should have. But they didn’t.
And they resent you for your adventures.

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If you’ve got bad memories attached to places, things, and even

people: Let them go. You will feel lighter almost immediately.

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Don’t return their calls or take their antagonistic bait. The only way to
win their game is to quit playing along. Besides, no one is fascinated
by your constant irritation.

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The heinous little voice inside your head that puts you down and
wears you out? Shut it up with actions that prove it wrong. Caution:
This may take years.

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Unless you want to turn out like them. Which you obviously don’t.

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You can learn how not to live by occasionally interacting with jerks.
You can learn how to live from paying attention to people you
admire.
Think of it as behavioral research.

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Most people, even the nasty ones, are doing the best they can. They
may not deserve your love and admiration, but your scorn burns the
both of you.

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Waiting around for a sign? Sorry, you have to paint your own.

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It’s only constructive if you can use it to get better.

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Whoever said you just weren’t (___________) enough was an ass.

And they were wrong.

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Maybe your past isn’t perfect. Maybe it was brutal. Maybe you were
brutal. Maybe you’ve got more scars than you thought one skin could
hold. You can’t linger on those thoughts. You will drown in them.
After all, it’s only an interesting backstory if you can get past it.

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The platypus is a beast cobbled from seemingly leftover parts. Yet it

thrives and it’s amazingly unique. Don’t be afraid to cobble together
your own functional set of interesting assets.

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If you’re not dead, you can still change things.

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Epilogue: In Summary
 Acknowledgements
Thanks, admiration, and industrial-sized vats of goodness go out to
Ted Weinstein, my uber-agent who offered to help me before I even
knew I needed him; to Noah Iliinsky, who champions my work like it’s
something I pay him to do; to Sunni Brown, my fellow doodle bug
and voice of bravery; to Bruce Tracy, my wise and gentle editor who
works with so much heart; and to the entire staff at Forbes, for the
chance to share my work on such a broad platform. I am disgustingly
fortunate to be able to work with all of you.
 About the Author

© Jason Merryman

JESSICA HAGY is best known for her Webby Award–winning blog

Indexed. Her cartoons regularly appear in the New York Times, and
she writes an online column for Forbes. Ms. Hagy lives with her
family in Seattle. Visit jessicahagy.info for more on Jessica.
 Copyright © 2013 by Jessica Hagy
Illustrations copyright © 2013 by Jessica Hagy
Cover design by Raquel Jaramillo
Cover art by Jessica Hagy
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced—mechanically, electronically,
or by any other means, including photocopying—without written permission of the publisher.
Published simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen & Son Limited.
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