Gheorghe Andrei Valentin

13 E

All about “Blind Date”

The infamous blind date. Many of us find this to be the most nerve-wracking, not
to mention the most hated of all dates.

For those of you who have done this before, it doesn't have to be so bad. For
those of you who have never before had the chance to tread in such unchartered
waters, don't be so afraid, it is possible to come out alive. It may actually be a
pleasant experience allowing you to reap many rewards.

The next time your friend utters that commonly dreaded phrase: "I have the
perfect person to set you up with," don't head straight for the hills. Here is the
ultimate guide to not only surviving a blind date, but coming out a champ.

Pre-date preparation

1) Do not have expectations

I know this one is difficult to avoid, but expectations can lead to major
disappointments or feelings of shock, both of which can ruin the date and throw
you off kilter. Don't expect to meet the woman of your dreams, but don't expect
to meet Quasimodo either. It's easy to start conjuring up images in your mind of
the other person, but it's safer to just expect a pleasant companion.

2) Prepare for it mentally

Prepare for the date by telling yourself that this is just a night out and that
whatever happens, meeting new people is always great and refreshing. Refusing to
go on a blind date just ends up limiting your options.

Worst case scenario: the two of you end up becoming good friends... if you end off
on good terms, that is, but we'll get to that later.
Calling her up

When you call her before the date, introduce yourself as the matchmaker's friend.
You're better off if the matchmaker told her that you'd be calling, that way she'll
expect your call, will know who you are, and won't think that you're a telemarketer
trying to get her to buy a new rubber mattress.

When you call her, ask her what she enjoys doing, and have some suggestions on
hand so that it looks like you've given it some thought. You don't want to come
across as the type who just says, "Let's just do whatever you want to do".
Although it's good to sound like you're willing to cater, you don't want to sound
passive.

Possible activities
As for what to suggest, the best thing to do on a blind date is something active and
hands-on -- but I'm talking about outdoor activities, not bedroom ones.

Suggest going ice skating, in-line skating, golfing or mini golfing -- anything which
requires the two of you to get involved with each other and some sporadic physical
contact, to test if there is any attraction going on. With an involving activity
planned, you don't need to worry about making conversation, relieving you of
another one of the stressors of dating. See what interests her, and take it from
there.

Suggest lunch or dinner afterwards (depending on the time of the date) and ask
her what food she likes so that you can make reservations somewhere. You're
better off making reservations rather than winging it during the date, since
waiting in line for an hour and a half at a restaurant can really put a damper on an
evening and spoil the mood. You'll also get points for taking initiative.

Meet and greet

The time has finally come to meet the person you've heard so much about. Remind
yourself that there must be a reason for the matchmaker to have thought of
setting the two of you up.
Greet her with a smile and a warm, friendly greeting. Don't act as if you're doing
the matchmaker a favor and you'd rather be cleaning out your sock drawer than be
there. These vibes are pretty easy to pick up and are likely to ruin the night
altogether.

Don't say that she's nothing like what you expected; this can be taken as an insult
and even if it's meant as flattery, she won't know that. This is why too many
expectations are dangerous -- if you were expecting Miss Universe but you end up
standing in front of someone who looks more like your history teacher -- Mr. Shaw
-- she'll probably sense your disappointment.

The date

1) Listen
While on the date, Listen to what she has to say. Ask her questions and act
interested in her responses .Listening does not mean "waiting for your turn to
speak".

2) Don't get too personal

Don't ask her anything too personal and by the same token, don't talk about how
hurt you were after your past relationship; you don't want to give away too much
from the first date.
3) Making conversation
If you can't think of anything to say, bring up the matchmaker, ask her how long
they've known each other. Remember, the two of you do have common ground, the
person that set you up. So use that to your advantage. Under no circumstance
should you bad mouth or say anything negative about the matchmaker.

If you're really struggling for conversation topics during the date, just talk about
whatever the two of you did together on the date and relate it to your past. If you
went rollerblading, tell her about the time that you had a really bad fall and how
now you always have to wear kneepads when you rollerblade...

4) Don't be cheap
First impressions count for a lot, so bringing a two for one coupon on your first
date is a major turnoff. This is your first day or night out together, and it may be
your only night out if you start calculating who had the extra Diet Coke on your
dinner date. Treat her and make her feel special; if there is any night to do so, this
would be it.

Goodnight sweetheart

By the end of the date, it should be clear whether or not the two of you would like
to see each other again, or want to completely seek revenge on the matchmaker for
subjecting you to a night of sheer torture.

If one person thought the date went well, then chances are that the other person
thinks so as well. It's rare for one party to think one extreme while the other
thinks the exact opposite.

If it went well...
If you are interested in each other, tell her that you had a great time and that
whoever the matchmaker was, they were pretty on the ball.

Ask her if she wants to go out some time next week and tell her you'll give her a
call. Suggest doing something that came up in conversation, like if she says she
loves comedies, ask her to go see the new Jim Carey movie in town, or if she loves
Sushi, invite her to go to the trendy Japanese place that just opened.

Don't act too eager -- just say enough to make her know that you did have a good
time and you would like to see her again. Give her a hug or a kiss on the cheek -- do
not try to give her a kiss on the lips.

If it did not go well...

If the date did not go well, tell her that you had a good time, that it was nice to
meet her, and that you'll probably see her around. If you don't want to be too
harsh, you can tell her you'll give her a call; believe me, if it didn't go well, she
won't be expecting your call and she'll probably hear from the matchmaker
whether or not you were interested.

Don't be rude. The two of you have a mutual friend or relation, so you don't want
her to report to the matchmaker that you were extremely rude. Be polite and
thank her for the evening.

Good things have come out of blind dates -- if not actual relationships, then a good
friend. And if it goes horribly, then at least you'll have a great story to tell about
your date from hell. I hope this blind date survival guide helps you on your next
blind date, and hopefully you'll only be blinded by the sparks flying between the
two of you.