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Ones Very Peculiar Habits

An original short film

By

Josef Sparrey

Cast:
Joe(protagonist) – Played by Josef Sparrey
Ed (Joe’s friend) – Played by Toby McDermott
Cinema extra 1 – Played by Oli James
Steward/camerman – Played by Jack Culleton
Linda (therapist) – played by Laura Dalaimo

Production script

April 23rd, 2021

Ones Very Peculiar Habits

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ACT ONE

TITLE.

INT. KITCHEN DINER – MORNING

BOOM –- JOE (17) is wearing a plain hoodie and sat alone

at a table, he pours milk into a bowl then pours cereal
after it, before slowly eating out of it. He looks off to
the distance just above the camera, showing expressions
of bewilderment and anxiousness.

Transition to:

BEGIN FLASHBACK

INT. CINEMA – EVENING

Music plays -- Fast paced, not matching the tone of the

scene and characters behaviour.

JOE is sat next to a wall wearing a long sleeve top and

jeans, with a complete row of people sat to his left all
in a cinema. Flashes light up the faces of the
characters, from the video playing behind the camera. Joe
turns his head to the people next to him. He takes a deep
breath.

JOE
(Awkwardly)
Umm…Is it alright if I quickly get past?
Sorry.

The person to the left (CINEMA EXTRA 1) turns their head

to JOE, looking very annoyed.

CINEMA EXTRA 1
(Sarcastically)
Yep, no problem.

Short pause. JOE gives a fake smile.

JOE
(Embarrassingly)
Thanks. Sorry.

JOE stands up as well as one by one, all the other people

in the row gradually get up and move out of the way for
JOE, all glaring at him for briefly missing part of the
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film. JOE continues to apologise to everyone he passes,

until out of the row and then walks down the steps as the
audience members get back into their seats.

Cut to:

EXT. ROAD – MIDDAY

JOE (waring jeans and a jacket) is walking with his

friend ED, 17, (wearing a hoodie and joggers) down a
pathway talking nonsense, before turning to each other.

JOE
Right, nice to of seen you.

ED
(Clears throat)
You too

Both then turn and cross the road. Uncomfortably walking

next to each other.
ED slowly turns to JOE.
ED
Well…speak soon then.

JOE looks up to ED, awkwardly responding.

JOE
(Tense)
Yeahhhh…

Both give each other a hand shake, before turning to walk

the same way again. Both showing un-relaxed facial
expressions.

END FLASHBACK

Transition back to:

INT. KITCHEN DINER – MORNING

All music cuts out.

Back to JOE who, while shaking, picks up a spoonful of

cereal and lifts it to his mouth, all still wide eyed but
now looks towards the camera.

Transition to:

BEGIN FLASHBACK
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The same music track is played again.

INT. CINEMA – EVENING

JOE walks back up the steps to his row, where all the
people turn to look at him, with annoyed expressions. He
anxiously grins at them, as they begin to stand up.

Cut to:

EXT. HILL – MIDDAY

JOE jogs up towards the camera, as part of marathon run,

showing exhaustion as he reaches a spot where a STEWARD
sticks out their arm, holding a WATER BOTTLE, which JOE
gladfully takes.

STEWARD
(Happily)
Enjoy your drink.

JOE
(Breathing heavily)
You too…

JOE briefly questions what he just said, pulling a ‘why

did I say that’ facial expression. Before jogging on, out
of shot.

Cut to:

INT. CINEMA – EVENING

JOE clambers over the very frustrated audience members,

until her finally makes it to his seat, with the person
to his side glaring intently at him.

END FLASHBACK

Music fades away.

Transition back to:

INT. JOE’S KITCHEN DINER – MORNING

JOE quickly puts down his spoon, then stands up with his
bowl and walks out of shot.
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Cut to:

INT. JOE’S FRIDGE – MORNING

JOE opens fridge door, which camera is placed inside of,

and puts milk bottle in side tray. He then turns and
looks directly towards the camera breaking the fourth
wall.
He speaks to the audience.

JOE
Now I wouldn’t say I’m a socially awkward person. But I
keep thinking back to these really unfunny situations I
keep getting into.
(Pause)
I’m sure you understand the moments I mean. Such as…
saying sorry to someone for no reason.

Transition to:

FLASHBACK BEGINS

EXT.PATHWAY – MIDDAY

JOE, is kneeling on the ground trying to tie up his show

lace, when a random stranger knock into him, Joe
apologises to them, then shows more awkward facial
expressions as he contemplates what he just said.

FLASHBACK ENDS

Cut to:

INT. JOE’S KITCHEN – MORNING

JOE is still facing the camera.

JOE
(Passionately)
You get me now?

JOE turns round closing the door as he goes. The screen

cuts to black. Then a cupboard door is opened as JOE then
looks back to the camera as he picks up a glass cup.

JOE (CONT’D)
I’m hoping today is a bit better.
(Pause)
I’m off to see Ed this morning, he’s a good mate of mine.
Hoping to have a little walk together.
(Brief pause)
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I don’t know where though.

JOE with his GLASS CUP in hand, turns around and shuts
the door.

Cut to:

JOE walks over to the kitchen sink where he fills up the

GLASS CUP with water. He turns around to the camera,
lifting up his cup, takes a sip, then walks out of shot.

Cut to black

ACT TWO

EXT. PATHWAY – MIDDAY

Music plays –- Softly in the background

Establishing shot of field with two people walking in the

distance, JOE and ED, multiple angles of them walking are
shown.

We hear them speaking before the camera focus’ on them.

Close shots of both people. JOE and ED walk side by side

with each other, we only see from the waist upwards as
they walk towards the camera which slowly moves
backwards. JOE is still wearing his hoodie and jeans,
with ED in a t-shirt and jeans.

JOE laughs.
ED
(Joyfully)
Well, well…not exactly.

JOE
(Chuckling)
What do mean then?

Both, stop walking briefly and turn to look at each

other.

ED
Honestly not sure.
It was just really weird at the time, uno.

JOE
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Guess so, yeh.

(Pause)

Both briefly stand silently looking around.

ED
Oh, before I go. You see the game last night?

ED looks at JOE for an answer, but JOE briefly freezes up

before giving an answer.

JOE
(Confused)
The game???

ED
Well yes, the team who you support played a game last
night…They won 3-2 against Notts County.
(Pause)

JOE
Ohhh…err, ye..errr yes?
Did Coventry play?

ED
(Confused)
Joe! You alright.
You seem completely out of it…And you’re still drinking
out of that stupid glass cup, which I presume is from
your house.

The camera pans down to show the GLASS CUP in JOE’S hand.

ED (CONT’D)
(Seriously)
You need to seek help, mate.

JOE looks at ED anxiously.

ED (CONT’D)
See a therapist or someone. Please.

JOE turns to look directly towards the camera, breaking

the fourth WALL. ED stays still.

JOE
Is he right? Do I really need help?
(Pause)
I mean, I did walk around in public drinking out of a cup
from home.
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JOE turns back to look at ED. Music changes to a more

serious tone. Both people start walking forward again.

ED
(Comfortingly)
Look man. I really wanna help, but I don’t have the
qualifications or experience dealing with these odd
problems.
(Pause)

JOE
Yeh, I…I understand.

ED
Well have a search later, for any therapist around.
Maybe book to see one too eh.

JOE
Yeh man. Will do.
(Brief pause, then sighs)
Well…See you sometime soon then.

Both JOE and ED stop walking and turn to each other,

giving a very awkward hand-shake/fist bump. –- The music
has changed and is more upbeat to help transition the
scene. -- Both then look up at each other, pulling
embarrassed facial expression, to which JOE then turns
his head to look at the camera, pulling an awkward smile.
– Boom. The camera cuts to black.

Cut to:

EXT. STREET PATHWAY – MIDDAY

Music is still the same.

The scene opens with JOE walking down a path, again

contemplating what he just did, before walking past a
poster with information about a therapist on, including a
phone number on. The camera stays focused on the poster,
to which JOE then walks back to it, stares briefly at it
before taking out his phone to take a picture.

JOE looks towards the camera.

JOE
Coincidence…? Who knows.

He walks past the camera –- then boom.

Cut to black
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ACT THREE

INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

JOE knocks once on the door. The scene opens from inside
an office.
LINDA (Therapist)
(Loudly)
Come in.

The door opens, and JOE steps through with a small grin
on his face. He turns to close the door behind him.

JOE
Hello?

LINDA
Hi there, Joe is it?

JOE
Errr, yes.

LINDA (24) wearing relatively smart clothes, is sat at

her desk reading through some papers, but hasn’t looked
up to JOE yet. JOE stands awkwardly by the door, looking
around the room. The office is very plain, with no
pictures, plants or anything colourful.

LINDA
Come sit down, Joe.
I’ll talk in a sec.

JOE walks over to the chair opposite LINDA, then

gradually sits down uneasily. He briefly looks towards
the camera, mouthing “what am I doing”, before quickly
turning his head to face the therapist.
LINDA abruptly stands up holding out her hand towards JOE
for a handshake, to which JOE slowly gets up reaching out
his hand to shake LINDA’S.

LINDA
(Hastily)
My names LINDA, I’m 24, and have been doing this job for
just over 5 years.
How you doing today JOE?

JOE
Alright thanks…
You look quite young for 24.
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LINDA (CONT’D)
Yes, I get that a lot. It’s all in the jeans they say.
(Pause)
So, you contacted me because…why exactly?

JOE
(Not talking seriously)
Well, my friend said I should see a therapist, as I’m
apparently awkward, and do odd things…

LINDA
(Sternly)
Right, I see.
Do you get anxious being around people in social
situations?

JOE
Errrmm, I would say so…

LINDA (CONT’D)
Do you worry some of the things you do are embarrassing?

JOE
Maybe sometimes.

LINDA rights down JOE’S answers into her notebook. Both

sit in silence briefly, with JOE again looking towards
the camera and shrugging his shoulders. LINDA gets out of
her chair to pick up a tub, including different boxes,
each with labels on for MILK, WATER, TEA BAG and SUGAR as
well as a MUG and SPOON. She pops it down on the table in
front of JOE, who stares blankly at it. LINDA then sits
back down in her chair and looks towards JOE.

LINDA
So, could you please show me how you would make a simple
cup of tea.
(Pause)

JOE
(Confused)
Right, ok…Just a cold cup of tea?

LINDA
Yes, please.

JOE briefly contemplates what he’s doing, but then pulls

out the different POTS and MUG from the tub. He places
the MUG in front of him, before opening the pot of SUGAR
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and picking up the SPOON and pouring some into the MUG.
He then tips some of the milk into the MUG, as well as
placing a TEA BAG into it. LINDA stares at JOE with great
confusion, but keeps silent. JOE briefly looks up at
LINDA, before then opening the final pot and pouring the
water into the MUG. He then stirs the drink and places it
before LINDA.

LINDA
(In shock)
What. Is. That?
Well…
(Brief pause)
I understand you have some odd habits. But don’t worry.
Ill book you in to see you next week, is that ok?

JOE
Yep, that’s…ok.
Whats wrong with the tea?
Was it a test to if I could make a cup of tea or…?

LINDA
(Sternly)
I will see you next week.

LINDA looks down and starts writing in her note book

again. JOE becomes slightly nervous.

JOE
So…So is something wrong with me or???
(Pause)

LINDA doesn’t answer, and carry’s on writing in her

folder.
JOE shows mixed facial expressions.
Moment of silence. LINDA stands up with a piece of paper
held out to JOE

LINDA
Right Joe, you’re showing to be a very…interesting person
and that I will do my best to help you overcome your
worries and habits.

JOE stands up to take the piece of paper from LINDA,

before giving an awkward grin and turning to open the
door behind him. Before walking out he turns back round
the LINDA.

JOE
Ill ‘tea’ you next week.
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JOE turns around to step out the door, as LINDA stares at

him in absolute unbelief not even saying a word.
JOE walks out, slowly shutting the door behind him, which
we see LINDA start pack up the plastic boxes putting them
back into the tub.
JOE walks a couple of feet from the door, before turning
to look directly into the camera.

JOE
Nice to meet new people, eh.

He gives an awkward smile to the camera, then stares down

to the floor before walking past it.

Cut to black
Cut to:

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE, HILL - AFTERNOON

The music becomes a bit more emotional.

JOE walks past the camera and carries on over to a wooden

bench in front of some trees.

Some END CREDITS start rolling up on screen.

As JOE walks over to a bench, instead of looking out to

the view he sits down facing the other way, showing
emotional facial expressions.
The CAMERAMAN then becomes annoyed with JOE.

CAMERAMAN
(Annoyed)
Oh. My. Days.
What is wrong with this guy.

The CAMERAMAN then starts to pick up and move the camera.

Cut to black

Closing music track plays

END TITLE and CREDITS

END.