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Mohammad Abdullah Kawish

IA-0138-1 (Re)Telling the tale: Dramatizing Myth & Fable

Lemon Tree

It is 4pm, the sunlight is slowly cooling as ABDULLAH

hides under the shade in the open garage while smoking a
joint.

ABDULLAH

mannnnn… I hope this works…

(Abdullah takes the last drag from the joint in his hands before putting it
out, and heading back inside)

GRANDMA

Abdulllllaaaaaahhhhhhh!!

(Abdullah stops in his track towards his bedroom and instead turns for
the living room. There he nds his grandma siting on the sofa, icking the
TV remote while watching the television.)

ABDULLAH

Yes dado!

DADO

Oh I meant Momina but come here and put this glass away… good boy…

(X walks in on-stage from dado’s room, as Abdullah takes the glass from
her hand and puts it away on the dinner table. X stands a few steps away
from the door they had entered. Dado cannot see nor hear X.)

Momina is not even here… why lie sis?

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DADO

Oh and also… Can you nd my channel… I cant…

(Abdullah nods disapprovingly at X, before taking the remote from dado

and then tends to the TV. He slaps the remote as the TV glitches fre-
quently. X is roaming around the room, inspecting every object they
could touch.)

Hurryyy uppp Abdullah… mom and dad are gonna come back in two hours and this the only
time you have to savor some “me” time…

DADO

…The amount of times Ive asked Kawish to get this TV xed but dare he listen to what I say…

(She grunts with disappointment.)

Ae Bibi! The last person who would even know how to operate this old, at-tyre of a televi-
sion… is probably now biting back the snakes in his grave…

DADO

No one listens to what I have to say!

aww… hmmm… Anyways…

ABDULLAH

Is this the channel you wanted?

DADO

Yes…

Great! Let's go! Let's goooo!

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(Abdullah politely hands the remote back to Dado and starts walking
back to his room.)

So we might be a bit late for Hannah Montana but Im sure we can still catch on… oooooo and
we have the long shower performance scheduled too… I remember seeing those new black
heels that mummy got… she doesn’t really know how to harness their power like we do…

(Both Abdullah and X agree and chuckle until all the lights and electron-
ics turn o . Both Abdullah, X and Dado sighs. There is only a soft light
coming in from the windows. Abdullah and X now stops in their tracks.)

ABDULLAH

Oh is the generator not working?

(Abdullah asks Dado with confusion. X standing next to Abdullah)

DADO

Don’t even get me started… I said very clearly this morning, that Kawish have the generator
checked today with Babar and its batteries aren't working… all last night I couldn't sleep be-
cause the it would beep randomly… and I told him to have it checked after lunch… and you
know what he said?

(Abdullah nods his head in approval to a rm Dado that he is listening to

her.)

What he say bitch?

DADO

He said ‘I will Pino’ and… and now look at him…

Why what’s he doing now bitch?

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(Abdullah continuous to nod his head this time more confused.)

DADO

He is dead..asleep…

Bitchhhhhhhhhhh… damn I forget how cold she is... Also, just FYI, you do know that having
yellow urine is a sign of an unhealthy liver…

ABDULLAH

Well… maybe he can x it tomorrow… anyways…

X
ABDULLAH

Bye! Bye!

DADO

Where are you going?

(Dado asks, prompting Abdullah and X to stop and turn towards her.)

DADO

Why don’t you ever sit with me?

ABDULLAH

Is that even a question? Are you gonna tell

oh… ummm… haha… that’s not true
her or should I just say it?

DADO

Come sit with me… my favorite grandchild… tell me about school and your hobbies…

(Abdullah hesitantly smiles and walks towards the chair that was placed
across the room by the window. X frustratingly follows Abdullah.)

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Favorite to traumatize but sure…

(Abdullah sits while X starts to walk around the room, inspecting every
object.)

DADO

Why don’t you ever sit on this couch?

ABDULLAH

Ummmmm

Cuz I know for fact three people have peed on this couch…

DADO

Is it because Minha peed on this couch…?

(Abdullah politely chuckles.)

ABDULLAH

No no.. I just never really think of where to sit… I guess I just sit…

DADO

Come on Abdullah she’s a baby… and we all know that babies basically pee boiled water…

Ohhh myyyyy goooooddddddd… I don’t careeeeeee… please change the topic.

ABDULLAH

Oh haha… yea I guess your right…

Haye! What about Tahir… he peeped on this couch too and he’s 40-years… I don’t even wanna
imagine the kind of water he’s been boiling…

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ABDULLAH

Anyways… Dado please pray for me… they start a month from now and Im so nervous for my
math and physics…

DADO

Of course I will! But you know what they say… God can only do so much, sometimes its on the
donkey itself, to pull the cart through… but I shall pray for you!

Did she just called us a donkey?!

(Dado laughs historically while Abdullah laughs politely yet awkwardly.)

DADO

hmm… so these are the exams you take before entering tenth grade?

ABDULLAH

Umm no… these aren’t those… these are like mocks, like I’ll have to still give my…

DADO

Oh that’s interesting…

(Dado says as she interrupts Abdullah. Abdullah maintains a smile nods

in approval while X pretends to throw an object at Dado.)

DADO

I ask, because just this morning Lukmana, the lady that lives ve house down… yea she was
on call today, and she told me that Sarah’s son ran away from their home because he was un-
der alot of pressure because of these exams…

ABDULLAH

Oh…

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How long do you think we’re gonna be stuck here Abdullah? Im so boredddd… We did not risk
our lives to get high in this god forsaken house, only to spend our time being stuck here… I
swear Im zoning out bb, your on your own…

DADO

Yea, and then the police got involved… they found him boarding a train to Karachi.. Imagine…
kids these day. You know I remember the mother meeting me at one of the neighborhood tea
meetings… and I remember her worrying about her son… failing in class and exams… do you
know him?

[INSERT GENERIC COMMERCIAL OR JINGLE]

ABDULLAH

Oh! hmmm… not really… I dont think Ive actually ever met them before..the family or their son.
And I don't even know if he goes to my school or anything… what grade is he in?

DADO

Haw! I thought you would go outside and play with him at the park?

Lol Imagine if she was talking about that midday rendezvous you had with Ali…

(X says nonchalantly while pacing around the room and dgeting with
di erent objects across the room.)

ABDULLAH

No Dado… hahaha.. I think your confusing him with someone else… Do you know his name?

DADO

No but considering my knowledge on things… I know what I saw…

(X stops immediately and looks at Abdullah.)

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What the fuck is that supposed to mean? She didn’t… I mean how could she… She couldn’t
have seen us… right? Fuck… Im in danger hahaha… No! We must remain calm!! Breath Abdul-
lah!!! Breath!!!

(X begins to panic and frantically pace across the room while Abdullah
still maintaining his composure.)

ABDULLAH

Oh… Ummm… Well… I cant really say as to what you saw… did you see me with them hang-
ing out with me or in the park?

Please God don’t say the behind lemon bush! I promise to pray ve times a day!

(X pleads in the background while Dado peers at Abdullah intensely,

reading through his words and expression. She relaxes her gaze as she
begins talking.)

DADO

Yea anyways… the father also left the mother and ran o with another woman to Germany…

(Dado goes into large monologue as her voice is slowly inaudible, her
expressions and actions show that she is talking about something vio-
lent. X calms down a bit but is still pacing in the background.)

Was that a threat? I am so confused? What did she mean by her ‘Knowledge on things’?

DADO

…and I said to her that its a mother’s failure to lose grip on her children…

ABDULLAH

Ahan… Ahan… Oh wow… yea

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What if she tells mama! Dudeee im so screweddddd… I told you we shouldn’t have gone, the
D wasn’t even worth it…

DADO

…and she was a crying mess you know… slurring her words like she’s drunk on alcohol or
something else ‘haram’… I didn’t say this but knowing her parents, I know this was a punish-
ment by God himself…

ABDULLAH

Yea… Ahan… Ahan…

Abdullah… you need to evacuate… I dont know how… But you need to leave buddy… Politely
though because we cannot risk her exploding…

DADO

…Imagine… the entire family ruined because of the gays… What a pity…

ABDULLAH

Wow… yea… thats horrible…

Abdullah are you listening? you need to get out for us…

DADO

I blame the television… these screens have eroded our cultural values… All our family values
and heritage is corrupted by this loose and liberal thinking…

ABDULLAH

Ahan… Ahan…

(The lights and electronics turn back on. The TV turns on with soap-
opera playing on the screen. Both Abdullah and Dado sigh in relief, while
X hyperventilates in the background. Dado slowly adjust her focus to-
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wards the TV, completely forgetting the conversation she was having with
Abdullah.)

Did she just forget… everything?

ABDULLAH

Well… this was a fun conversation… right Dado?

DADO

Hand me the remote as you leave…

ABDULLAH

Sure dado.



Wow this bitch…

ABDULLAH

See you later dado…

DADO

Yea yea Bye…

(Abdullah gets up and politely hands the remote to dado before dashing
out of the room, leaving dado glued to the screen.)

(Black out.)

End of play.