CSM Song list
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/VbQbHn2gGQyZG0BA
We may have moved to Falmouth but we’re still called C.S.M.
AND IF YOU THINK WE’RE DEAD AND GONE YOU’D BETTER THINK AGAIN!
The Engineers Song
The legend that is C.S.M. Will cross both land and sea
We’re the School of Mines from Camborne and that’s who’ll we’ll always
Chorus:
be...
We are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers,
We can, we can, we can demolish 40 beers,
A special verse to begin with at The Bottle Match:
The medical men from R.S.M.
Oh RSM don't mine no more and that's why they don’t sing.
They cannot drink with us
To burst out in song requires a heart where mining's king.
‘Cos we don’t give a fuck for anyone else
So sing out all you Engineers, sing into the night.
Who don’t give a fuck for us.
'Cos we're mother fucking CSM and we don't take no shite!...
Verses:
Sir Francis Drake and all his men set sail for Galway Bay, The Drinking Song
To meet the Spanish Rum Fleet that was heading by the way.
The Engineers cut them short by a night and half a day Why was he born so beautiful
And although they’re drunk as hooligans you can still hear them say... Why was he born at all
He’s no fucking use to anyone
Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride He’s no fucking use at all
To show all the villagers her skin so pure and white
The most observant man in town the Engineer of course He ought to be publically shat on
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse... He ought to be publically shot (bang bang)
Tied up in a public urinal
I’ve come a long way she said a man may go as far And left there to fuckin' well rot, to rot, to rot
SO GET ME OFF THE FUCKING HORSE AND TAKE ME TO THE BAR!
The men that got her off her horse and stood with her to hear Drink it down you zulu warrior
Was a blood-shot-eyed surveyor and a drunk Mine Engineer... Drink it down you zulu chief chief chief chief chief
Ah zooma zooma zoombi-ay
Godiva’s rounds were whiskey and the Engineer's were rum Ah zooma zoombi-ay
The Surveyor's sobriety was nearly all but gone
Now homeward bound, they sang aloud until they all were deaf
And to this day, we’ll never know with who Godiva left...
1
CSM Song list
My name is Jack, didleliac, dideliac
I’m a necrophiliac
Oh RSM! I get so hard in the graveyard
I get frustrated,
Oh CSM (oh CSM) When they get cremated
Is wonderful (is wonderful) Burial is a must diddle diddle diddle diddle
Oh CSM is wonderful ‘Cause you can’t fuck dust, ‘cause you can’t fuck dust
Is full of gods, legends and miners
Oh CSM is wonderful Perverts of Society
Oh RSM (oh RSM) We’re the perverts of society
Is full of shit (is full of shit) We’re the worst you’ve ever seen
Oh RSM is full of shit We’re a bunch of loud mouthed bastards
Is full of tits, fannies and wankers We’re the Mining Engineers
Oh RSM is full of shit
On the border of Antarcica
Other: Where the yanks have never been
Oh UEC... Lies the body of a Polar bear
Oh TCS... Fucked to death by an Engineer
Oh CUC...
Oh Exeter... We don’t climb upon a mountain
‘Cause the slope is too fucking steep
I Love My Wife We don’t go into the valley
‘Cause the valley is too fucking deep
I love my wife, yes I do, yes I do
I love her dearly. We’re the perverts of society
I love the hole she pisses through We’re the worst you’ve ever seen
I love her tits, tittely tit, titterly tit We’re a bunch of loud mouthed bastards
And her nut brown arsehole We’re the Mining Engineers
I eat her shit gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble
With a rusty spoon, with a rusty spoon!!
2
CSM Song list
Fishing rod she wanted…
…my pole she got
Chicago Meat she wanted…
…sausage she got
Chorus: Helicopter she wanted…
Oh I used to work in Chicago in an old department store, …my chopper she got
I used to work in Chicago , I don't work anymore. A camel she wanted…
…a hump she got
Verses: Translator she wanted…
(Singer) Oh a lady came into the store one day asking for a miner …cunning linguist she got
(All) A miner from the store? A Kitkat she wanted…
(Singer) A miner she asked for, a 3 year old she got! …four fingers she got
(All) And I don't work anymore. Lamb she wanted…
(Chorus) …porked she got
Coke she wanted…
Carpet she wanted... …7up she got
...shag she got Turkey she wanted…
An egg she wanted… …stuffing she got
…laid she got A Ruler she wanted…
Jewellery she wanted… …12 inches she got
…a pearl necklace she got Policeman she wanted…
Paper she wanted… …truncheon she got
…a ream she got Some milk she wanted…
Nail she wanted… …cream she got
…screw she got A wounded donkey she wanted…
Hammer she wanted… …a bleeding ass she got
…a good nailing she got A semi-aquatic, perspired mammal she wanted…
Fireworks she wanted… …a hot sweaty beaver she got
…a banging she got A round of applause she wanted…
Spanner she wanted… …the clap she got
…nuts she got The square root of 4761 she wanted…
…69 she got
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CSM Song list
Hi-vis' she wanted… You can tell by the squeal that it's starting to congeal
…my hard-hat she got You can tell by the rope that you haven’t got a hope
Front door she asked for… You can tell your underneath when the string is in your teeth
…back door she got You can tell by the string that you’ll have to take the ring
A door handle she asked for… You can tell by the moaning that she’s losing haemoglobin
…a knob she got You can tell by the frown that it's time to go for brown
Chicken she asked for… You can tell by the titter that she takes it up the shitter
…cock she got You can tell by the gash that she does it all for cash
An oriental, optical viewing device she wanted… You can tell by your horn that she isn’t from Camborne
…my japs eye she got You can tell if its white your dick will smell of shite
A ‘downer' she wanted… Don’t worry about the taste it’s a shame to let it waste
…up her I got Don’t worry about the flies that are buzzing around her thighs
A yellow flowering, oil producing cereal crop she wanted… Don’t worry about the ants that are crawling round her pants
…rape she got You can tell by the chair that she's been sitting there
You can tell by her complexion that you're wasting your erection
Tampax Factory You can tell by her legs that she's lost a lot of eggs
You can tell it's a farce when you shag her up her arse
There is a tale of a lass You can tell by her block that you'll get a bloody cock
Who stuck a tampon up her ass You can tell by her dress that her cunt is in a mess
You can tell by the stain that she's in a lot of pain
Chorus: You can tell by her stance she's got cotton in her pants
When the end of the month comes around You can tell by the walk that you'll sit around and talk
Singing ay ay ay ay Tampax factory You can tell by the blotch that she's got a leaky crotch
Long ones, short ones, some the size of three You can tell by her eyes that there's blood between her thighs
«verse» You can tell by her pout that her eggs are falling out
When the end of the month comes around! You can tell that it itches by the way she always bitches
You can tell it aint sweat when her underwear is wet
Verses: You can use wildlife to relieve your sexual strife
You can tell by the mess, on her panties and her dress One way or another, you can still go fuck her mother
You can tell by the smell that she isn’t very well You can tell by the blister that you'll have to shag her sister
You can tell by the smeg that is running down the leg If you can't get her fanny you can still go shag her granny
You can tell by the taste that it isn’t Salmon paste You can tell by the muff, she's a local from Falmouth
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CSM Song list
So how can you blame us when we shag her up the anus They 'eaved on the steam
The steam hit the beam
Camborne Hill Going up Camborne Hill, coming down
Going up Camborne Hill, coming down Wild Rover
Going up Camborne Hill, coming down
Start:
The horses stood still I’ve been a Wild Rover for many a year
The wheels went round And I’ve spent all me money on Whiskey and Beer
Going up Camborne Hill, coming down But now I’m returning with gold in great store
And I never will play the Wild Rover no more
White stockings, white stockings she wore
White stockings, white stockings she wore Chorus:
White stockings she wore And it's No, Nay, never
The same as before RIGHT UP YOUR CUNT / KILT
Going up Camborne Hill, coming down No, nay never no more
Will I play the Wild Rover
I had’er, I had’er I did No never no more
I had’er, I had’er I did
I had’er, I had’er I did Verses:
I had’er, I did I went to an Ale house I used to frequent
It cost me a quid And told the landlady me money was spent
Going up Camborne Hill, coming down I asked her for credit, she answered me nay
For customers like you I can have any day
I knowed her ole father, ole man
I knowed her ole father, ole man I took up from my pocket, ten sovereigns bright
I knowed her ole man And the landlady’s eyes opened wide with delight
He played in the band She says "I have Whiskeys and Wines of the best
Going up Camborne Hill, coming down And the words that you told me were only in jest"
They 'eaved on the coal from the steam I went to my parents, confessed what I’ve done
They 'eaved on the coal from the steam And asked them to pardon their prodigal son
5
CSM Song list
My mother caressed me as oft times before And I've spent all my money on sea swimming gear
And I will never play the Wild Rover no more My goggles, my swim cap, my tiny speedos
When I'm not swimming I'm sleeping with hos
I’ve been a Wild Rover for most of my life
Now I’ll settle down now with my loving wife Mining Matilda
We'll build a log cabin, Keep the wolf from the door
And I’ll never will play the Wild Rover no more Once a rise miner sat upon his ladderway
Under the shade of a 4x3
Alternative verses: And he sat and he spat as he waited for his holes to drill
I’ve been a tin miner for many a year Singing "You'll come a mining ya bastards with me."
And I’ve spent all my money on tin mining gear You'll come a mining, you'll come a mining
my hard hat, my hi-vis, my pick and my spade, You'll come a mining ya bastards with me
When I'm not tin mining, I'm out getting laid! And he sat and he spat as he waited for his holes to drill
Singing "You'll come a mining ya bastards with me."
Oh look at those doctors
they can't fucking play Down came a Geo laden with his sample bags
While we're all off mining, Up jumped the miner and grabbed him with glee
They're off being gay. And he laughed as he shoved that Geo up his ladderway,
A bunch of fat bastards Singing "You'll come a charge up ya bastard with me."
the medical men, You'll come a charge up, you'll come a charge up
Suppose it's not their fault they're all RSM. You'll come a charge up ya bastard with me.
And he laughed as he shoved that Geo up his ladderway,
I went to a shit house I use to frequent Singing "You'll come a charge up ya bastard with me."
And told the attendant my money was spent
I asked him politely to open the door Down came a shift boss mounted on a tray back ute
He said not bloody likely, so I shat on the floor Up jumped the nippers ONE, TWO, THREE!
"On account of the Geo, that you've got charging up your holes
I’ve been a vile pervert for many a year You'll come to surface ya bastards with me."
And I’ve spent all my money on black leather gear You'll come to surface, you'll come to surface
But now I’m returning with porn in great store You'll come to surface ya bastards with me.
So I never shall play the vile pervert no more "On account of the Geo, that you've got charging up your holes
You'll come to surface ya bastards with me."
I've been a sea swimmer for many a year
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CSM Song list
You’ll come to surface you bastards with me.”
So up jumped the miner with a primer in his hand
"You'll never take me alive" said he Up jumped the miner with the primer in his hand
And he laughed as he shoved that primer in the hanging wall, “You’ll never take me alive, said he
Singing "you'll never take me alive," said he And he laughed as he shoved t at primer in the hanging wall,
"You'll never take me, you'll never take me, Singing “you’ll never take me alive,” said he
You'll never take me alive," said he “You’ll never take me alive, you’ll never take me alive
And his ghost can be heard as you wander through that old boys mine You’ll never take me alive,” said he
"You'll come a mining you bastard with me!"
And his voice could be heard as you wonder through mdala side
Miners' Song “You’ll come a mining you bastard with me!"
(sung to the tune of Waltzing Matilda)
Favourite Things
Once a naughty miner sat upon his miner’s box
Under the shade of a four by three Bright copper dildos and black leather whippers
And he sat and he spat as he waited for his holes to drill Shoving cucumber up mermaids with flippers
Singing “You’ll come a mining you bastards with me. Lots of fist fucking; and even wanking
You’ll come a mining, you’ll come a mining These are a few of my favourite things
You’ll come a mining you bastards with me”
When my nob’s saw blistered.
Down came a Shangaan mounted in a gorovan Feeling kinda sad.
Up jumped the miner and bambaed him quickly I give it a rock with soft margarine
And he laughed as he shoved that Shangaan in his working place, And then I don't feel so bad.
Singing “You’ll come a charge op you bastard with me Tossing off ponies and ranking of poodles.
You’ll come a charge op, you’ll come a charge op Shoving your passport with ice cream and noodles
You’ll come a charge op you bastard with me” Behind the bike sheds; to toss off the young boys.
These are a few of my favourite joys
Down came a shift boss mounted on a Yamaha Kicking a goat in the cunt when it is farting
Up jumped the boss boys one, two, three Licking the blood when the bleeding is started
“On account of the Shangaan you’ve got charging up all your hole Shoving a saveloy; right up my ring.
You’ll come to surface you bastards with me These are a few of my favourite things.
You’ll come to surface, you’ll come to surface Rubbing your knob up bright scarlet gashes.
7
CSM Song list
Girls in white dresses all wet with splashes. She drove a mercedies that attracted all the ladies
Fucking your mother; with grease on your tool. It's Dark and Damp
Singing this song makes me feel like a fool
From the jet black coals of the valleys,
The Duke of Bayswater To Cornwall’s red tin stone.
The Afrikaner’s glittering gold
The Duke of Bayswater. Diamonds in Sierra Leone.
Has got a lovely daughter. The rich gems of Sri Lanka
Kalgoorlies golden mile.
Chorus:
And the hairs on her Dinky Dido. I can think of them now and wander somehow
Hang down to her kneeeeeeeeeesssssssss, If it's all really been worthwhile
ONE black one, one white one It's dark and damp by the light of your lamp
And one with a bitta shite on You can see by the air that you breathe.
And one with a fairy light on And you’ll never know why till the day that you die
To show us the way. You move on but you never quite leave.
I promised myself ten years ago
Verses: I’d settle down one day.
It took a CAMBORNE miner, to find her vagina The dream was round the corner
I’ve felt it, I’ve smelt it, it’s just like a piece of velvet When I heard the old boy say,
Though it may seem ridiculous, she rides her bike knickerless Uranium in Australia
I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it, I’ve lain right between it They’re paying ten dollars an hour.
She went to Glamorgan, with tits like a barrel organ Now I’m sorry I went, ‘cos the money’s all spent
If she was my daughter, I’d have them cut shorter It’s funny how things all turn out sour.
She slept with a demon, who washed with semen Well you’ve got your qualifivations
She lived on a mountain and pissed like a fucking fountain You know your science and sums
She came from Vancouver and sucked like a fucking hoover You call yourselves engineers,
She flew in from Florida with a cunt like a fizcking corridor You sing your songs so proudly;
She married an Italian with balls like a fucking stallion But what have you really done?
She divorced the Italian and married the stallion Now you’ve been down here, there’s no songs
She came from Lampeter and took it up the shitter Your learning has just begun.
She came from Newcastle and took it up the asshole So listen Mister Cleaver
8
CSM Song list
To what I have to say. You can call upon the boys from the old brigade
Although you're so ambitious To set old England free
You’ll be old yourself one day. You can call upon my brother, my sister and my mother
And if you think it's tough at the top But for fucks sake don’t call on me
Its tougher underground,
And here and there and everywhere I don’t want to join the army
On things the same you’ll have found I don’t want to go to war
I just want to hang around Piccadilly underground
I Don't Want to Join the Army Living off the earnings of a high class lady
I don’t want to join the army I don’t need no Froggy women
I don’t want to go to war Londons full of women I never had
I’d rather hang around Piccadilly underground I just want to stay in Blighty, Lord God Almighty
Living off the earnings of a high class lady Following in the footsteps of me dad
I don’t want a bayonet up my arsehole Monday night me ‘and was on her ankle
I don’t want my bollocks shot away Tuesday night me ‘and was on her thigh
No! I’d rather stay in Camborne, in merry, merry Camborne Wednesday night, Hurray, I pulled her pants away
And fornicate my fucking life away Thursday night I felt that I was really getting high
Friday night I got me ‘and upon it
Monday I touched her on the ankle Saturday night I gave it just a little tweak
Tuesday I touched her on the knee And Sunday night after dinner, I finally got it in her
On Wednesday, success, I lifted up her dress And now I’m paying thirty Bob a week. Cor Blimey!
On Thursday I saw it. Cor Blimey.
Friday I laid my hand upon it I don’t want to join the navy, I don’t want to go to sea
Saturday she gave my balls a tweak I just want to go down to old Soho
On Sunday after supper I rammed the fucker up her Tickling all the girlies in the untiddly-um-pum
And now I’m playing thirty bob a week. Cor Blimey! I don’t want no bayonet up me arsehole
I don’t want me knockers shot away
Call upon the army and the navy, call in the rank and file I’d rather stay in Camborne, in merry, merry Camborne
You can call upon the territorial army And fornicate me living days away
They face danger with a smile
9
CSM Song list
Sunshine Mountain
We’re going up Sunshine mountain, where the four winds blow
We’re going up Sunshine mountain, faces all aglow
Turn your back on sorrow and hold your head up high
We’re going up Sunshine mountain you and I …………
Sloop John B
We came on the Sloop John B, my granddaddy and me
Around Nassau town we did roam
Drinking all night, got into a fight
Well I feel so broke up, I want to go home
So hoist up the John B sail, see how the main sail’s sets
Call for the captain ashore, let me go home!
I wanna go home, I wanna go home, yeah yeah
Well I feel so broke up, I wanna go home
The first mate he got drunk, he broke in the captains trunk
The constable had to come and take him away
Sheriff John Stone, why don’t you leave me alone
Well I feel so broke up, I wanna go home
The captain’s a wicked man, gets drunk everytime he can
He done give a damn for a pappy and me
He kicks us around, gets us in a frown
Well I feel so broke up, I wanna go home
The cook he got the fits, he threw away all my grits
Then he went and ate up all of my corn
I wanna go home, oh won’t you let me go home
This is the worst trip I’ve ever been on.
10