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19 Practical, Powerful Ways to Build Social-Emotional Intelligence

in Kids & Teens:
 If you could teach one set of skills to every child in the world, what would it be? What if it
could be something that would bring intelligence and compassion to decision-making,
reduce (or end?) violence, embed within humanity a drive towards kindness, empathy
and create relationships that connect, heal, nurture and flourish those who are in them?
Social-emotional intelligence could do this, and if we could teach it to every child on the
planet, by the time the world was in their hands we would be living in an amazing one. 

The thing is, we don’t need to teach it to every child on the planet. We only need to
teach it to one. 

Social-emotional intelligence involves being able to recognise and manage feelings

appropriately in ourselves and our relationships, as well as understanding what other
people are feeling. 

The emotional centres of the brain are closely connected to the areas that are involved
in cognitive learning, so it’s not surprising that there is an abundance of research
highlighting the importance of social intelligence for success.

Supporting children in developing social-emotional intelligence will boost their chances

of success at school, at work and in life. A recent study found that the kindergarteners
who were regarded by their teachers to be more socially competent – as measured by
helpfulness to others, willingness to share and a capacity to resolve their own peer
problems – were, by age 25, more likely to have graduated from college, be in full-time
employment, less likely to have been arrested and less likely to be in public housing or
on a public housing waitlist than students who weren’t as socially able. The results of
the study were independent of the effects of poverty, race, being born to teenage
parents, family stress and neighbourhood crime.

When it comes to our children, we’re the ones who can fuel their flight and building their
social-emotional intelligence is a sure way to do this. We can’t choose their
temperament and we can’t choose their personality, but we can shape it. Here’s how:

1. The words have it.

Words set the culture. Our kids won’t always remember our words, but they’ll remember
how the words made them feel, and those will be the feelings with which they relate to
the world. As the parent or important adult, you represent to them the very best the
world can be. If they interpret that as judgemental or critical, they’ll approach the world
with a defensiveness and disconnection that will stifle them. 

2. Model imperfection.

Own your humanness – it’s beautiful and you’re the only one on the planet that does
human the way you do. Embracing your own imperfection will help your children to
embrace theirs. Give them permission to fail and to get it wrong, and give it to yourself
while you’re there. You’ll have off days, off moments and sometimes you’ll stuff up
spectacularly (I regularly tick that one-off the list by breakfast) – it’s part of living and
relating to the world in full colour. When you do, let your kids see you own it, and when
 they come to you to talk about their own mistakes, be grateful for the opportunity to
strengthen the connection. Nothing feels better than someone embracing us when we’re
not that deserving of that embrace (even if their shaking their head a little as they
squeeze).

3. Make kindness a priority.

Most parents will say that kindness is important but kids aren’t getting that message,
believing that grades are the most important thing to parents. Though grades are very
important, kindness is at the heart of social competence, relationships, and connection.
Telling them to be kind is one thing, but letting them see you be kind to yourself, to
them, to people you know, to strangers – that’s where the magic is.

4. Teach them how to listen.

Listening is the key to being someone people love being with. It’s magnetic. To teach
this, reflect back what you hear when they talk to you, ‘So what you’re saying is …’ I
understand that’. Create plenty of time where you can be with them fully while they’re
talking, so they can see how this listening thing it’s done. 

5. Disagree. But don’t stop listening.

Being able to effectively negotiate different points of view is an important part of

maintaining relationships and preserving a sense of self in those relationships. Let them
disagree with you sometimes without trying to change their mind: ‘I understand what
you’re saying, though I see it a different way.’ Understanding someone doesn’t mean
you agree with them. What it means is that you respect their right to their opinion, and
that you want to keep the connection and dialogue open. People will always value
those who respect their opinions, even if they disagree. 

6. Empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand what other people are experiencing and it’s at the
heart of thriving relationships. The best way for children to learn this is by watching you.
Notice what they’re feeling, name it, and let them know that you get it. ‘You seem really
mad/ sad/ confused. I understand that.’ By doing this, they’ll experience first hand the
difference empathy makes.

7. Share your own feelings.

We all get sad, mad, scared, jealous, insecure – and pretending that you don’t runs the
risk of your kids feeling ‘less than’ when they feel off-balance. Whenever it’s
appropriate, share your feelings with them, but be careful not to dump your own troubles
onto them. 

8. Relationship is critical.
 Staying connected is the biggest and best way to ensure you have influence, so let the
relationship take priority over pretty much everything. If they’ve come to you with a
confession that has you scrambling for breath, take a moment, breathe, and focus on
the behaviour you want increase (their honesty, the connection, their willingness to talk
to you), rather than the behaviour you want to decrease. Acknowledge how much their
honesty means to you, then gently discuss the behaviour you want to change. You’ll
always have more influence when they feel connected to you. Their relationship with
you will form the foundation for their relationships with the world. 

9. Don’t try to change what they’re feeling.

All feelings have a reason for being there and it’s okay to feel every one of them. The
more feelings are pushed down, the more those feelings will push for expression. Give
your children the space to feel their feelings without trying to change or talk them out of
the feeling. Letting feelings come is the key to letting them go. When feelings are denied
and buried, their way out is obstructed. This invites depression, general anger at the
world or an angry, fiery explosion when the pent up energy is done with being stifled. 

10. Explain what feelings do.

All feelings have an important reason for showing up:

♥  Anger is a clue that something is wrong and gives us the energy to put things right.

♥  Sadness makes us step back from the world for a while and reset, recharge and heal,
and lets others know that we might need some loving.

♥  Fear gives us the energy and physical resources to fight or flee something
dangerous if we need to.

♥  Anxiety fuels us to deal with a potential threat. (When it’s related to performance, if it

can be reframed as ‘excitement’ it can energise and work for, rather than against).

♥  Jealousy lets us know that something is important and points us in the direction of
what we might need to invest in.

♥   Bad feelings around friendships alert us to the possibility that those friendships aren’t
good ones to be in, that we deserve more, and that it might be time to let go.

Attending to the feeling will often give clues about what’s needed to find balance.
Encourage your child to find the words or images that are attached to the feeling. It
doesn’t matter if there aren’t any, what’s important is that they are opening up their self-
awareness and their capacity to notice their feelings and become aware of what they
need.

11. Be savvy with discipline.

 If punishment involves shaming, smacking and yelling, that’s how the kids on the end of
that will learn to control the world and the people around them. We’ll all have bad days
and lose it from time to time – that’s completely okay, we’re all human – but when
shame is consistent, it changes people and the way they see themselves and respond
to the world. Shame never changes anyone for the better. It’s important to have
boundaries, but it’s also important to show our kids how to protect them with grace and
without compromising anyone else’s. People (including our kids) will always give you
more of what you need and want if their boundaries are kept intact and if they feel
respected, liked and valued. 

12. How does this friendship feel? 

A fundamental part of social and emotional intelligence is being able to read and

respond to relationships. The decision about who we let close is always ours to make.
Encourage your child, without judgement, to think about their friendships in terms of
how they feel in those relationships. What do they get from the relationship? Would they
feel better or worse without it? Does it bring out the best or the worst in them? These
aren’t easy things to think about, or to answer, but the earlier they can develop this
mindset, and own their power to choose the people they let close, the happier
they’ll be. 

13. When a friendship feels bad.

When relationships feel bad, it’s generally because they are. When those relationships
do damage is when it’s taken as evidence of a personal deficiency. It’s not – it’s so not,
and our kids need to know this. When people treat others badly, it’s often because they
are driven by their own history and hurts. That hurt can be contagious, and it’s not up to
any of us to take responsibility for another person’s healing. It’s important that we don’t
get in the way of it, but we don’t need to be a target for anyone else’s pain or
dysfunction.

Encourage your kids to look at their own behaviour with an open heart, but if there is
nothing they can change to make the relationship feel better, then it’s likely the
friendship is one that doesn’t deserve them.

Give them permission to keep the friendship if they want (often, the more you fight their
friendships, the more they’ll defend them and this will tie up the energy they need to
explore the friendship and what it means for them) but empower them as the ones who
have the ultimate decision about whether or not to stay. Being alone isn’t a sign of
popularity, or lack of, it’s the gap between leaving friendships that don’t deserve them,
and finding the ones that do. 

14. Build them up, but …

Kids need confidence to experiment with relating to the world, but be careful not to over-
inflate them. Praise their effort and what they do, rather than who they are. You’re trying
to shape behaviour, so that’s where the focus needs to be. Overly praising without
 substance runs the risk of raising kids who lose their humanity because they genuinely
believe that they are better than everyone else. Love them hard and without limits, but
when you praise them, let them know why, so the praise is building behaviour.  Praise is
a kind of currency and they have the capacity to earn plenty of it. You don’t want to
flatline their growth by giving it to them too often for nothing. They are awesome
humans because of what they do – how hard they work, how respectful, kind, funny,
strong, brave they are. 

15. Don’t force an apology.

Making kids apologise too quickly might mean they have no idea why they’re
apologising. Empathy is at the heart of an apology and will be missing from a forced
one. Apologies don’t automatically heal a connection and they don’t automatically fix
everything, and it’s important for kids to learn this. Instead, ask how they see the
situation and how they think the other person might see the situation. If there’s
something they’ve missed, gently point it out. Then, rather than telling them to
apologise, ask them what brave steps they might take to put it right. It might not always
be an apology. If they’ve hurt a sibling, they might think a cuddle is the way to go. If
they’ve accidently pushed someone on the sports field, it might be saying ‘Are you
okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you.’ Don’t shame them, but give them a chance to be a
hero. There are usually two sides to every story. Validate theirs and support them in
realising the full impact of whatever it is that they’ve done. The more shame they feel,
the harder it will be to own whatever they’ve done wrong and to put it right. The idea is
to nurture them towards being responsive when they get things wrong, not defensive.

16. Model forgiveness.

If they are the ones apologising for something, show them how to do ‘forgiveness’. Not
every bad behaviour has to invite a consequence to teach an important lesson.

17. Model responsibility.

Responsibility isn’t about blame. It’s about response-ability – having the ability to
respond. Taking responsibility for something means owning the ability to respond and to
put things right. It’s done from a position of strength, not shame. When you’re the one
who has made a royal stuff-up, be quick to own it and to put it right, ‘I wish I didn’t yell
when you were late home. I’m sorry. That must have been scary for you walking into
that.’

18. Make it easy for them to talk to you.

If they confess something they’ve done, breathe, take a moment, and respond in a way
that teaches them telling you was the right thing to do, and nurtures a willingness to
come to you again next time. Sometimes they can take your breath away with the things
they do (actually we all have that in us), but all you’ll teach them by punishing or
screaming is not to tell you next time. They’ve given you a prime opportunity to talk to
 them about the dangers or stupidity or whatever of what they’ve done. Use the
opportunity to grow your relationship and your influence, not shrink it.

19. Create a calm down space.

Teaching kids how to calm down will strengthen their resilience from the inside out.
Support them in finding a place in their room or at home where they can go when they
are overwhelmed, stressed or angry and need to regain control. Let them decorate their
special space however they want to – cushions, photos, pillows, soft toys. It’s not a time
out, and time there is always under their control. Explain why it’s important by telling
them how anger works: When people are angry, the part higher part of the brain that is
reasonable, sensible and great at making decisions and finding solutions disconnects
from the lower part that is more impulsive, primal and automatic. The lower part does
crazy things when the higher part isn’t there to take charge. Calming down is about re-
establishing the connection between the two. Mindfulness, listening to music, and
strong breathing are ways to do this and to help them be the boss of their brain. 

Our kids watch everything we do (except how to stop clothes from hurling themselves
on the floor – they don’t seem to watch that). If there are things you do that don’t work,
or if you’re carrying your own scars, this is the single biggest reason to heal your own
wounds and try doing things differently. You can the beginning of something
extraordinary, making sure everyone who comes after you is able to connect with the
world in a more fulfilling, effective, adaptive way. 

Our kids have it in them to find the answers, but by directing too much, we can stifle
their inherent capacity for connection and growth. Being a human is hard work and it
takes time. One of the most loving things we can do as parents is to give our kids the
space and support to experiment and find the answers. They aren’t perfect, and neither
are we and the more we are able to receive their mistakes with love and compassion,
the more open they’ll be to finding another way, and to our influence, our guidance and
our wisdom

For decades, leadership theories have been the source of numerous studies. In reality
as well as in practice, many have tried to define what allows authentic leaders to stand
apart from the mass! Hence, there as many theories on leadership as there are
philosophers, researchers and professors that have studied and ultimately published
their leadership theory. A great article to read before diving into the theories is the The
Philosophical Foundations of Leadership

Theories are commonly categorized by which aspect is believed to define the leader the
most. The most widespread one's are: Great Man Theory, Trait Theory, Behavioural
Theories, Contingency Theories, Transactional Theories and Transformational Theories.
 leadership Theories

Great Man Theory (1840s)

The Great Man theory evolved around the mid 19th century. Even though no one was
able to identify with any scientific certainty, which human characteristic or combination
of, were responsible for identifying great leaders. Everyone recognized that just as the
name suggests; only a man could have the characteristic (s) of a great leader.

The Great Man theory assumes that the traits of leadership are intrinsic. That simply
means that great leaders are born...

they are not made. This theory sees great leaders as those who are destined by birth to
become a leader. Furthermore, the belief was that great leaders will rise when
confronted with the appropriate situation. The theory was popularized by Thomas
Carlyle, a writer and teacher. Just like him, the Great Man theory was inspired by the
study of influential heroes. In his book "On Heroes, Hero-Worship, and the Heroic in
History", he compared a wide array of heroes.

In 1860, Herbert Spencer, an English philosopher disputed the great man theory by
affirming that these heroes are simply the product of their times and their actions the
results of social conditions.

Trait Theory (1930's - 1940's)

The trait leadership theory believes that people are either born or are made with certain
qualities that will make them excel in leadership roles. That is, certain qualities such as
intelligence, sense of responsibility, creativity and other values puts anyone in the
shoes of a good leader. In fact, Gordon Allport, an American psychologist,"...identified
almost 18,000 English personality-relevant terms" (Matthews, Deary & Whiteman,
2003, p. 3).

The trait theory of leadership focused on analyzing mental, physical and social
characteristic in order to gain more understanding of what is the characteristic or the
combination of characteristics that are common among leaders.

There were many shortfalls with the trait leadership theory. However, from a
psychology of personalities approach, Gordon Allport's studies are among the first ones
and have brought, for the study of leadership, the behavioural approach.

 In the 1930s the field of Psychometrics was in its early years.

 Personality traits measurement weren't reliable across studies.
 Study samples were of low level managers
 Explanations weren't offered as to the relation between each characteristic and
its impact on leadership.
 The context of the leader wasn't considered.

Many studies have analyzed the traits among existing leaders in the hope of uncovering
those responsible for ones leadership abilities! In vain, the only characteristics that
were identified among these individuals were those that were slightly taller and slightly
more intelligent!

Behavioural Theories (1940's - 1950's)

In reaction to the trait leadership theory, the behavioural theories are offering a new
perspective, one that focuses on the behaviours of the leaders as opposed to their
mental, physical or social characteristics. Thus, with the evolutions in psychometrics,
notably the factor analysis, researchers were able to measure the cause an effects
relationship of specific human behaviours from leaders. From this point forward anyone
with the right conditioning could have access to the once before elite club of naturally
gifted leaders. In other words, leaders are made not born.
The behavioural theories first divided leaders in two categories. Those that were
concerned with the tasks and those concerned with the people. Throughout the
literature these are referred to as different names, but the essence are identical.

Associated Theories

 The Managerial Grid Model / Leadership Grid

 Role Theory

Contingency Theories (1960's)

The Contingency Leadership theory argues that there is no single way of leading and
that every leadership style should be based on certain situations, which signifies that
there are certain people who perform at the maximum level in certain places; but at
minimal performance when taken out of their element.

To a certain extent contingency leadership theories are an extension of the trait theory,
in the sense that human traits are related to the situation in which the leaders exercise
their leadership. It is generally accepted within the contingency theories that leader are
more likely to express their leadership when they feel that their followers will be
responsive.

Associated Theories

 Fiedler's contingency theory

 Hersey-Blanchard Situational Leadership Theory
 Path-goal theory
 Vroom-Yetton-Jago decision-making model of leadership
 Cognitive Resource Theory
 Strategic Contingencies Theory

Transactional leadership Theories (1970's)

Transactional theories, also known as exchange theories of leadership, are

characterized by a transaction made between the leader and the followers. In fact, the
theory values a positive and mutually beneficial relationship.
For the transactional theories to be effective and as a result have motivational value,
the leader must find a means to align to adequately reward (or punish) his follower, for
performing leader-assigned task. In other words, transactional leaders are most
efficient when they develop a mutual reinforcing environment, for which the individual
and the organizational goals are in sync.

The transactional theorists state that humans in general are seeking to maximize
pleasurable experiences and to diminish un-pleasurable experiences. Thus, we are more
likely to associate ourselves with individuals that add to our strengths.

Associated Theories

 Leader-member Exchange (LMX)

Transformational Leadership Theories (1970s)

The Transformational Leadership theory states that this process is by which a person
interacts with others and is able to create a solid relationship that results in a high
percentage of trust, that will later result in an increase of motivation, both intrinsic and
extrinsic, in both leaders and followers.

The essence of transformational theories is that leaders transform their followers

through their inspirational nature and charismatic personalities. Rules and regulations
are flexible, guided by group norms. These attributes provide a sense of belonging for
the followers as they can easily identify with the leader and its purpose.

Associated Theories

 Burns Transformational Leadership Theory

 Bass Transformational Leadership Theory
 Kouzes and Posner's Leadership Participation Inventory

What is it that makes some people excel in leadership roles? Leadership theories seek to explain
how and why certain people become leaders. Such theories often focus on the characteristics of
leaders, but some attempt to identify the behaviors that people can adopt to improve their own
leadership abilities in different situations.
Early debates on the psychology of leadership often suggested that such skills were simply
abilities that people were born with. In other words, these theories proposed that certain people
were simply "born leaders." Some more recent theories propose that possessing certain traits may
help make people nature leaders, but that experience and situational variables also play a critical
role.

A Closer Look at Leadership Theories

As interest in the psychology of leadership has increased over the last 100 years, a number of
different leadership theories have been introduced to explain exactly how and why certain people
become great leaders.

What exactly makes a great leader? Do certain personality traits make people better suited to
leadership roles, or do characteristics of the situation make it more likely that certain people will
take charge? When we look at the leaders around us—be it our employer or the President—we
might find ourselves wondering exactly why these individuals excel in such positions.

People have long been interested in leadership throughout human history, but it has only been
relatively recently that a number of formal leadership theories have emerged. Interest in
leadership increased during the early part of the twentieth century.

Early leadership theories focused on what qualities distinguished between leaders and followers,
while subsequent theories looked at other variables such as situational factors and skill levels.
While many different leadership theories have emerged, most can be classified as one of eight
major types.

"Great Man" Theories

Have you ever heard someone described as "born to lead?" According to this point of view, great
leaders are simply born with the necessary internal characteristics such as charisma, confidence,
intelligence, and social skills that make them natural-born leaders.

Great man theories assume that the capacity for leadership is inherent—that great leaders are
born, not made. These theories often portray great leaders as heroic, mythic, and destined to rise
to leadership when needed. The term "Great Man" was used because, at the time, leadership was
thought of primarily as a male quality, especially in terms of military leadership.

Such theories suggest that people cannot really learn how to become strong leaders. It's either
something you are born with or born without. It is very much a nature (as opposed to nurture)
approach to explaining leadership.
 The Great Man Theory of Leadership
Trait Theories
Similar in some ways to Great Man theories, trait theories assume that people inherit certain
qualities and traits that make them better suited to leadership. Trait theories often identify a
particular personality or behavioral characteristics shared by leaders. For example, traits
like extroversion, self-confidence, and courage are all traits that could potentially be linked to
great leaders.

If particular traits are key features of leadership, then how do we explain people who possess
those qualities but are not leaders? This question is one of the difficulties in using trait theories to
explain leadership.

There are plenty of people who possess the personality traits associated with leadership, yet
many of these people never seek out positions of leadership. There are also people who lack
some of the key traits often associated with effective leadership yet still excel at leading groups.1
 Trait Theories of Leadership

Contingency Theories
Contingency theories of leadership focus on particular variables related to the environment that
might determine which particular style of leadership is best suited for the situation. According to
this theory, no leadership style is best in all situations.
Leadership researchers White and Hodgson suggest that truly effective leadership is not just
about the qualities of the leader, it is about striking the right balance between behaviors, needs,
and context.2

Good leaders are able to assess the needs of their followers, take stock of the situation, and then
adjust their behaviors accordingly. Success depends on a number of variables including the
leadership style, qualities of the followers, and aspects of the situation.

Situational Theories
Situational theories propose that leaders choose the best course of action based upon situational
variables. Different styles of leadership may be more appropriate for certain types of decision-
making.

For example, in a situation where the leader is the most knowledgeable and experienced member
of a group, an authoritarian style might be most appropriate. In other instances where group
members are skilled experts, a democratic style would be more effective.
 The Situational Theory of Leadership

Behavioral Theories
Behavioral theories of leadership are based upon the belief that great leaders are made, not born.
Consider it the flip-side of the Great Man theories. Rooted in behaviorism, this leadership theory
focuses on the actions of leaders, not on mental qualities or internal states. According to this
theory, people can learn to become leaders through teaching and observation.
Participative Theories
Participative leadership theories suggest that the ideal leadership style is one that takes the input
of others into account. These leaders encourage participation and contributions from group
members and help group members feel more relevant and committed to the decision-making
process. In participative theories, however, the leader retains the right to allow the input of
others.

Management Theories
Management theories, also known as transactional theories, focus on the role of supervision,
organization, and group performance. These theories base leadership on a system of rewards and
punishments. Managerial theories are often used in business; when employees are successful,
they are rewarded and when they fail, they are reprimanded or punished.
Relationship Theories
Relationship theories, also known as transformational theories, focus upon the connections
formed between leaders and followers. Transformational leaders motivate and inspire people by
helping group members see the importance and higher good of the task.

These leaders are focused on the performance of group members, but also want every person to
fulfill their potential. Leaders with this style often have high ethical and moral standards.3
 Overview of Transformational Leadership

A Word From Verywell

There are many different ways of thinking about leadership, ranging from focusing on the
personality traits of great leadership to emphasizing aspects of the situation that help determine
how people lead.

Like most things, leadership is a highly multi-faceted subject and it is a mixture of many factors
that help determine why some people become great leaders. Learn more about some of the things
that make people strong leaders is one way of potentially improving your own skills.
 

Social influence is the change in behavior that one person causes in another, intentionally or
unintentionally, as a result of the way the changed person perceives themselves in relationship
to the influencer, other people and society in general.
Three areas of social influence are conformity, compliance and obedience.
Conformity is changing how you behave to be more like others. This plays
to belonging and esteem needs as we seek the approval and friendship of others. Conformity
can run very deep, as we will even change our beliefs and values to be like those of our peers
and admired superiors.
Compliance is where a person does something that they are asked to do by another. They may
choose to comply or not to comply, although the thoughts of social reward and punishment
may lead them to compliance when they really do not want to comply.
Obedience is different from compliance in that it is obeying an order from someone that you
accept as an authority figure. In compliance, you have some choice. In obedience, you believe
that you do not have a choice. Many military officers and commercial managers are interested
only in obedience.

Research
Solomon Asch showed how a person could be influenced by others in a group to claim that a
clearly shorter line in a group of lines was, in fact, the longest.
Stanley Milgram did classic experiments in obedience, where people off the street obeyed
orders to give (what they thought were) life-threatening electric shocks to other people.

Example
You ask me to pass the salt. I comply  by giving it to you.
You tell me to pass the salt. I obey  by giving it to you.
I notice that people are using salt and passing it to the person on their left without comment.
I conform by doing likewise.

So what?
Using it
Social Psychology includes a large domain of knowledge around Social Influence (much of
which is on this site). This provides a powerful basis through which to persuade others.
Defending
Understand the psychology of social influence and how you respond to it. Notice yourself in
social situations. Also notice how others are deliberately or unconsciously influencing you.
Then choose how you will respond.
Social Influence Strategies
One social influence strategy is the foot-in-the-door technique (see the “Attitudes”
section for a complete explanation). Three other strategies include manipulating the
reciprocity norm, the lowball technique, and feigned scarcity.

Manipulation of the Reciprocity Norm

The Reciprocity Norm is an implicit rule in many societies that tells people they should
return favors or gifts given to them. A person or group can manipulate this norm to
make it more likely that people will buy a product or make a donation.
Example:  If a wildlife preservation organization sends Harry a pad of notepaper personalized
with his name, he may feel obligated to send them the donation they want.
The Lowball Technique
The Lowball Technique involves making an attractive proposition and revealing its
downsides only after a person has agreed to it.
Example:  A car salesperson tells Sheila that a car she is interested in buying costs $5,000. After
she has committed to buying the car, the salesperson points out that adding a stereo, an air
conditioner, and floor mats will cost an extra $3,000

Feigned Scarcity
Researchers have found that when something is hard to get, people want it more. This
observation is often manipulated by groups and people who want to sell something.
They imply that a product is in scarce supply, even when it is not, in order to increase
demand for it.

Example:  A grocery store advertises a brand of yogurt for a reduced price, noting in the ad that
there is a limited supply.
Elements of Persuasion
People often try to change others’ attitudes through persuasion. There are four
elements involved in persuasion: the source, the receiver, the message, and the
channel.

The Source
The person who sends a communication is called the source. Persuasion is most
successful when a source is both likable and credible. Credible sources are those that
are trustworthy or that have expertise.

An expert source is particularly likely to increase persuasion when a communication is

ambiguous.
Sources are considered less trustworthy if they seem to have a vested interest in
persuading people. On the other hand, sources seem more trustworthy if they provide
counterarguments for their position.

Wha t i s Soc i a l i nflu enc e

Social influenced is the effect that people have upon the beliefs or behaviors
of others (Aaronson, 2004).

THREE ASPECTS OF SOCIAL INFLUENCE ARE:

    

 Social influence in which individuals change their attitudes or behaviour in order

to adhere to existing social norms.
 A form of social influence involving direct request from one person to another.
 A form of social influence in which one person obeys direct orders from another to
perform some action(s)

 
The comparatively young science of social influence, however, can trace its roots to the
second world war, when a social psychologist named Carl Hovland was contracted by the
U.S. Armed Forces to bolster the morale of soldiers. President Roosevelt was concerned
that Americans would lose the will to fight after winning victory in Europe. It was
Hovland's job to motivate soldiers to continue fighting against Japan. Since World War II,
social influence has become a vastly expanding field of study devoted to discovering the
principles that determine our beliefs, create our attitudes, and move us to action.

~ www.workingpsychology.com

For example, you’re as a teenager your parents tell you don’t ride in the car with someone
who has been drinking.  It's Friday night, party night, your friends get in the car with a
senior whose been drinking. They ask you  if you want a ride.  You reply "no" because of
mom's advice.  They assure you the senior driving only had three beers and the party is
only 4 blocks away and honey's will be there.  They assure you... you will be safe.  You
start to think maybe mom’s over reacting, three beers "does not mean drunk", after all he
doesn’t look drunk. You hop in the car!

Social Influence occurs in the example because other people had an effect on behavior.
Social influence is similar to peer pressure in that it’s effects on you come from people,
and it may alter your decisions.  Social influenced can have positive or negative effects on
people. Not all social influence is negative. Not all peer pressure is negative. Not all
effects are negative.  Social influence in short is the effects of the way you think and act
as a result of various associations in society.