LIBRETTO VOCAL BooK Music by Jerry Bock Lyrics by Sheldon Harnick Book by Sheldon Harnick ana Jerry Bock Additional book material by Jerome Coopersmith Based on Stories by Mark Twain, Frank R. Stockton & Jules Feiffer ! NOTICE: DO NOT DEFACE! Should you find it necessary to mark cues or cuts, use a soft black lead pencil only. NOT FOR SALE This book is rented for the period specified in your contract. It remains the property of: 4 PLEASE RETURN ALL MATERIALS TO: MTI MUSIC LIBRARY M 4 31A INDUSTRIAL PARK ROAD ‘Music Tatars Inrennarionan NEW HARTFORD, CT 06057 42) West 5th Stract Now York, NY 10019 (212) 547-4684 Copyright © 1966 by Jerry Bock & Mayerling Productions Ltd, Revised 20077Tue Appie TREE ei PART I ‘THE DIARY OF ADAM AND EVE Based on “Extracts from Adam's Diary” and "Eve's Diary” ‘by Mark Twain IAs the curtain rises, the lights comé up gradually to reveal ADAM asleep on the ‘ground. He wears a white sport shirt and white slacks. The Garden of Eden is symbolized quite sparingly with a Indder standing to one side and another lying on the ground, (The director and set designer will suggest a few other simple, appropriate props.) The lighting should be warm and sunny. Behind a scrim, we oan faintly see an apple tree in the distance, As the music fades, we hear a VOICE] ee VOICE OF GoD Adam — Adam, wake up. You are the first man, It shall be your task to name all the ‘creatures in the Garden of Eden. You may eat the fruit of the trees and the fields, but not from the apple tree on the other side of the hill. Adam, wake up. ADAM (Stirring slowly) Just give me five more minutes V.0.6. (Booming now) Adam! Wake up! ADAM (Wakes and rises to his haunches) Name the creatures (awning and mumbling) Well, might as well get it over with. (Rises) 1, Adam, by virtue of the authority vested in me, do hereby name all you creatures flying around in the sky ~ flyers.THe Aprus TREE (ADAM) (A musical chord sounds) #3 — Happy Man ‘And you things crawling on the ground Iname — crawlers. ~ (Chord) ‘And you things swimming around down there are swimuners and you're growlers — and you're hoppers. Oh my, there are thousands, [better start taking notes or I'l get everything all mixed up. (To the audience) ‘This isthe first day Adamtime. Note: (Chord) ‘Today Inamed the flyets, crawlers, swimmers, growlers and hoppers. Further note “There are creatures here of every conceivable kind but I, Adam, am the sole and single man. Ge smiles with pride, savoring the word) Single, That word has a fine open ting to it (Ge grabs his rib and winces in pain) Ahh! Now what? (A mound slides onstage with EVE asleep on it; she wears « simple white dress. ADAM ‘walks to the mound and stares at EVE in curiosity) Vil name it later, Peres (ADAM exits. The music swells, the lights change nnd EVE atoakens, instinctioely reaching out for a companion. She sits up, stares out front and is struck with bewilderment and wonder) EVE Sunlight? Hummingbirds? Lions? Where am I? What am I? (The music fades as she looks down and is startled by the sight of herself) Ont (She studies herself carefully, running her fingers face and hair) ‘Whatever I am, I'm certainly a beautiful one. It's very peculiar — but I feel like an experiment: In fact, it would be impossible to feel more like an experiment than I do. Then am I the whole experiment?Tue Appie TREE (EVE) (She carefully surveys herself again) don't think so. I better start making notes right now. Some instinct tells me these, details are going to be important to the historian some day. (She steps down from the mound) Saturday, June first. Note: (Music begins: “HERE IN EDEN") Tarrived, feeling exactly like an experiment. Around me there is an incredible profusion of the most delightful objects. SO MANY CREATURES, SO MANY THINGS, EACH WONDROUS OBJECT IS BEAUTIFUL AND STRIKING AND I SEE NOTHING THAT ISN'T TO MY LIKING HERE IN EDEN. ‘THERE'S PLUMS AND PEACHES ' AND PEARS AND GRAPES DAM | SO RIPE AND JUICY AND UTTERLY INVITING LIND THE APPLES ESPECIALLY EXCITING HERE IN EDEN. ASTOR ME, y ICAN SEE I WAS MEANT TO REJOICE IN THE ROUND VIBRANT SOUND OF MY OWN VOICE. T'S ALL SO PERFECT AND $0 IDEAL AND YET IDO HAVE ONE TINY RESERVATION: THERE'S NOTHING HANDY FOR MAKING CONVERSATION HERE IN EDEN, rote: Ido.THE ApeLe (EVE) HOW'D I COME? WHERE’M I FROM? WHAT'S MY ULTIMATE AIM? IDON'T KNOW. EVEN SO, YMGLAD I CAME. 11'S ALLSO LOVELY, 1 MAY JUST WEEP. I LOVE THIS GARDEN AND EVERYTHING THAT'S INIT AND SOMETHING TELLS ME TO TREASURE EVERY MINUTE: BLOSSOM AND BUD, MOUNTAIN AND MUD. KNOW I'LL BE HAPPY, PERFECTLY HAPPY HERE IN EDEN, (ADAM enters with a fish) Drop that pickerel, you monster! (ADAM quickly climbs his tre, i.e, the ladder) Put it back! Did you hear me? ADAM What do you think you're doing? EVE (Startled by his voice) You can talk! ADAM Get away from here! EVE ‘Throw that pickerel back! ADAM What pickerel? EVE ‘That pickerel in your hand. ADAM That's a swimmer.THe AprLe TREE EVE A pickerel ADAM Swimmer EVE Pickeret! ADAM Swimaner! EVE (She reaches down, picks up a rock and holds it up) Whats this? ADAM Adod EVE Well, if you don’t throw that pickerel back, I'm going to clod you right out of that tree. (ADAM doesn’t respond, so she throws the rock) ADAM Waitt (He throws the fish to her) EVE you bully. 'm warming you! ‘And don’t you ever do that again, (She exits, making soothing sounds and caressing the fish. The mound slides offstage) ADAM (Still on top of his Inder) Second day, Adam-time. Note: I'm worried. Yesterday, that new long-haired creature kept hanging around and following me. (Puts a towel over his head) However, I believe I’ve hidden myself so cleverly, it probably thinks I've left the Garden, EVE (Enters briskly) Imus talk to you. wed(Cresifallen because EVE has penetrated his disguise) About what? EVE (Ata loss) | san | | | | (Oh, [just like to talk. Don't you like to talk? | ADAM Not particularly. Go away. Go away. EVE i Please come down. There is something and I think it’s immensely important. | ADAM. What? EVE Will you come down? ADAM (Thinks for a moment) All right. I think I'm stronger than you, EVE Oh, I'm sure you are. ADAM (Comes dovon from kis tree, cautiously) Now, what did you want to talk about? EVE (Moves towards him) About us. ADAM You stay over there! What's us? | EVE ‘That's a name I thought of, It means you and me. ADAM. What's so important about us? EVE I think we've both been put here for a great and noble experiment, (She moves towards him again)THe Aprie Taree ae i ADAM. told you to stay over there! : = EVE | Sonry. i (She moves back) | ADAM. i Goon. | EVE { What? ADAM Isaid go on EVE ‘As Iwas saying — I think I'm the main part of this experiment, but you have a share init, too. ADAM Oh, that’s very generous of you. What makes you think you and Thave anything in common? EVE (Moving all the way to him) Well, for one thing, you're the only other animal that can tall. ADAM Backing away) That's how much you know. So can ~ s0 can — (Looking around for the illustration) 50 can that flyer up there. (Points out front) EVE Looks out front) Where? ADAM In that tee, EVE ‘You mean that par *? I didn’t know parrots could talkTHe APPLE TREE ADAM ‘Well, they can, Why do you call ita parrot? EVE Because it looks like a parrot. ADAM Not to me it doesn’t. It looks like a loud-mouthed fat-beak. EVE (Laughs condescendingly) Nevertheless, it's a parrot ADAM What makes you so positive? EVE {just happen to have this talent. The minute I set eyes on an animal, I know what it is, [don’t have to think. The right name comes out by inspiration. So fax, you're the only exception, (ADAM thinks for a minute, then fires the following questions at EVE as fast as he car. She answers with equal, and casual, rapidity) ADAM What's that? EVE Ahorse. ADAM ‘That? EVE Bull ADAM That? EVE Goat. ADAM ‘That? EVE Elkwhat it re the as he can, Tue APPLE TREE -9- EVE Wolf. ADAM _ ‘That? EVE Duck. ADAM, (Exasperated) You're just guessing! EVE I'm not guessing, Those are their names because BOTH that’s what they look like, EVE Yes. ADAM How old are you? EVE igures it out) ‘Two days. ADAM You'll never make it to four. EVE (Moving to him) Oh, dear, I've hurt your feelings. ADAM Ridiculous. EVE Yes, Ihave. I can tell. I'm so sorry. ADAM (Turns his back to her) Well, don’t be, because you're wrong. Anyway, I can’t waste any more time here. 1 have to go empty the four-pronged white-squirter. (Starts to exit)- THe AppLe TREE EVE Cafe) The what? 7 ADAM (Turns back) 2 “The four-pronged white-squirter. EVE Laughs) Oh! You mean the cow! ADAM ‘Thank you. Thank you very much! exit) EVE Somehow we got off on the wrong foot. I seem to aggravate it.I think it's a reptile. But I do wonder what is for. Inever see it do anything. Nothing seems to interest it —except resting. It's a man! If it is a man, then it isn’t an it, is it? No. That wouldn't be grammatical. It should be nominative: he. Dative: him. Possessive: his'n. (Music begins: “Feelings") I think that’s right. It gets harder and harder to concentrate ever since I met the xeptile, Just thinking about him gives me the most distracting sensations. FEELINGS ARE TUMBLING OVER FEELINGS, FEELINGS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND AND IAM MORE THAN SLIGHTLY WORRIED ‘THAT THEY ARE GETTING OUT OF HAND. ‘SOMETIMES THEY HAPPEN IN MY STOMACH. ‘SOMETIMES THEY HAPPEN ON MY SKIN. ‘WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS CONDITION THATIAM IN? IF YM OBJECTIVE AND OBSERVANT IF CAN KEEP AN EVEN KEEL, YLL BE THE FIRST TO PIN A NAME TO WHAT I'M THE VERY FIRST TO FEEL. (The music fades out, EVE kneels down and opens a trap to reveat a bed of glowing coals. Coughing, she fins the flames)Tue APPLE TREE ie (EVE) ‘tuesday, June fourth. Special note. I believe I've finally discovered something that will interest him. It happened while I was trying to bore a hole in one stick with another stick, - (As she gazes raptly at the fire, ADAM enters, carrying a wash tub in one hand and a melon in the other. He stops, sniffs the air, sets the woashtub and the melon down, Stage L, and traces the curious odor to its source, the fire) ADAM. What's that? EVE (Not at all snidely) ‘What does it look like to you? ADAM reptile Pink dust. terest it, EVE rouldn’t Its name is fire. ADAM How did it come? EVE Imade it. ADAM ‘What are those? EVE Fire coals. (ADAM reaches down to pick one up. EVE watches. He drops it quickly, glares at EVE, and hurries offstage, trying not to reveal the fact that his fingers are killing him) (Sadty) 1 Nothing interests him, i (Music begins again: “Feelings”) TAM THE FIRST 10 HAVE THIS DREAM. HOW CAN I HARNESS HIS ATTENTION? HOW CAN I HARVEST HIS ESTEEM? "8 AM I SUFFICIENTLY ATTRACTIVE? SHOULD IDO SOMETHING WITH MY HAIR? (She holds out a strand) | {Smo Tur AppLe TREE (EVE) 1S THERE SOME TIDBIT THAT WILL PLEASE HIM? WHAT SHOULD I WEAR? WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF THIS CONGESTION ‘THAT IMUST LRARN TO RISE ABOVE? IS THERE A NAME FOR THIS CONDITION? E ‘YES, THERE'S A NAME AND IT IS HELL! (Blackout, The lights restore on ADAM who is carrying a plank to construct some primitive shelter. There are other pieces onstage, from which he will construct his “ary-top") ADAM Sixth day, Adam-time (He drops the plank) ‘The naming goes recklessly on. I get no chance to name anything myself. The new creature names everything that comes along before I can get in a protest. And always on the same pretext — says it looks like the thing. For instance, take the great waterfall — the finest thing in the Garden, I think. The new creature calls it “Niagara Falls”. Why? Says it looks like Niagara Falls. Now that’s not a reason. That’s pure waywardness and imbecility. And another thing. I'm not used to anything coming so close up to me. It makes me feel hampered and, uh, somewhat — arvious. (He tests the wind direction with a wet finger) Uh, cloudy today. Wind in the east. I think we'll have rain. We? Where did I get that word? Oh. Well, I don’t care about “we”. I'm going to build me a dry-top. (He sets up the planks tripod style and is busily at work as EVE enters in a gay and cheerful mood) EVE Good moming. What are you doing? ADAM Building a dry-top. EVE You mean a hut? (As she speaks, he hears her but continues work) Can Ihelp? Are you hungry? (She has an apple that she tosses in the air. He ignores her until the crunch from the bite she takes makes him turn. He grabs her, forces her to spit it out and throws the apple offstage)some his renew ad always at “Niagara 5 pure oming so get that fand : the the Tue Apere TREE ot) eee ADAM (ina panic) Give me that! = (EVE fights back) spit it out! Come on! 3 (After he has gotten’ rid of the apple) Where'd you get that? EVE (Pointing downstage) From that tree. ADAM ‘Are you sure it’s not from over the hill? EVE Positive. I don’t understand. ADAM, (Pointing upstage) Those apples are forbidden. BVE Why? ADAM Because they're dangerous. If we eat those apples, something terrible will happen. EVE What? ADAM don't know. EVE (Turning upstage) Maybe we should just go find out. ADAM (Lenping to bar her way) Stay away from that tree, numskull! EVE (stifty) My name happens to be Bve.-i6- Tue Apps TREE ADAM Thave no objections. EVE In the future, Kindly use my name when you wish to speak to me or when you wish to call me. That's what it’s for. ADAM ‘Then its superfluous. (Continues to assemble his hut) EVE (Despite her pique) Superfluoust What a beautiful word! And it’s huge! I'm proud of you — really Tam. (Zo the audience) Superfluousl I don’t think I've ever used it. (To ADAM) Where did it come from? ADAM (He has been watching her) I don’t know. I just kind of made it up. I was standing here looking at you and I said to myself, “It looks superfluous.” EVE (Moving in closer) Tm not an “it” (Not angrily; she enjoys explaining) Tma "she" ADAM (Turning to her) ‘Ah, well, [wish she would go play with the other animals, and Iwish she would stop talking so much because me have work to do. (He finishes building the hut) EVE Can't I help? ADAM (ignores her) No. She'd only be superfluous. (He sits in the hut. The lights change fo a stormy blue and the ‘rain music’ begins)THe Apple TREE re you wish lly Tam, id I said uld 3) (Putting « hand out) I think L felt a drop. - ADAM (Sticks his hand out of the Fut) It’s starting to rain. EVE May I come in? ADAM I's crowded. EVE I don't mind. ADAM Imind. EVE Why do you hate me so much? I just can’t understand it. I'm a very interesting person. And if you'd only talk to me nicely I could be twice as interesting. (Ghe begins to cry) ADAM (Looks at her with great curiosity and interest) What are you doing? EVE Nothing. ADAM Yes, you are. You're raining, too! EVE Ym crying. But don’t let it disturb you. (CCurns axoay from him) ADAM Iedoesn’t, but... well .. I don’t like to see it. So...Tue AppLe TREE EVE (Turns to him eagerly) Yes? ADAM. So either stop it or go rain somewhere else. (Now EVE truly wails; she walks away and sits on the ground) All right! All right! Come on in EVE I don’t want to. ADAM Why not? EVE Il be too crowded. ADAM YU make room. EVE ‘Are you sure? ADAM Tm sure. (She goes into the hut, sits and leans on his shoulder) EVE What's your name? ADAM What do I look like? Wait. My name is Adam. EVE ‘Adam ... Adam ... That sound is pleasanter in my ears than any [have heard so far. (She studies te walls of the ut) Adam? What? What made you pick brown? Because wood is brown.THe AppLe TREE EVE (Ghe rises, The end of this speech will be drowned out by a rising swell of musica 'rain’) Butberries are red. ‘We could squeeze some berries against the wood, and make it nice and colorful... not all over, just from here to here. We'll leave a border on top and bottom ... and on that wall, some shells, I think. Have you thought of hanging grass in the doorway? (EVE exits. The hut rides off) : ADAM Sunday, June ninth. ‘SHE KEEPS FILLING UP THE HUT WITH RUBBISH LIX FLOWERS AND PLANTS (EVE crosses behind him, Stage I to Stage R, with a basket) AND NOT ONLY IS IT OVERCROWDED, IVS LOADED WITH ANTS. SHE IS DEFINITELY TOO INTRUSIVE, A NUISANCE AND YET. (She crosses R to L, carrying the basket, now loaded with flowers) SHE'S AN INTERESTING CREATURE — ‘THIS EVE, SHB'S DEVELOPING A STRANGE NEW HABIT WHICH DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, (EVE starts to cross, L fo R) SHE'S FOREVER REACHING OUT TO TOUCH ME WHICH MAKES ME FEEL TENSE. (Ghe touches him, then exits L) SHB IS DEFINITELY QUITE ECCENTRIC, ANUMSKULL AND YET (EVE crosses L to R, carrying a pot filled with grasses that are so fall they hide her face) iTue ArpLe TREE EVE (Murabling, as she exits) Txnow exactly wherei’'m going to put this. ADAM SHE'S AN INTERESTING CREATURE . THIS EVE. COLORS DRIVE HER ABSOLUTELY CRAZY: ‘THE GOLD OF THE SUN, ‘THE PURPLE OF THE HILLS, (CRIMSON-COLORED CLOUDS IN THE SKIES. WHEN I SAY THIS IS SENTIMENTAL HOGWASE, FOOLISHNESS, SHE SIMPLY SIGHS. WHEN I'D RATHER BE ALONE AND RESTING ‘THEN SHE COMES AROUND AND INVARIABLY STARTS DESCRIBING . SOME WONDER SHE'S FOUND. SHE INVARIABLY GETS MY BACK UP, YET INVARIABLY I PERCEIVE SHE'S AN INTERESTING CREATURE — THIS EVE, ONCE I SAW HER STANDING ON A HILLTOR, HER HEAD TILTED BACK, ‘THE SUNLIGHT ON HER FACE, GAZING AT THE FLIGHT OF A BIRD; AND SUDDENLY I SAW THAT SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL ‘YES, THAT'S THE WORD. ‘THERE ARE ANIMALS AROUND THIS GARDE! ‘MORE SOOTHING THAN SHE BUT THERE'S NOTHING IN THE WHOLE OF EDEN, MORE PLEASANT TO SEE.(ADAM) IF SHE'D ONLY LEARN TO KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT ONE MINUTE AT A TIME WHY, BELIEVE 1 COULD POSSIBLY ENJOY JUST WATCHING ‘THIS CURIOUSLY INTERESTING CREATURE CALLED EVE. \s ADAM sustains the last word of the song, EVE rides in on the newly decorated Ihut, wearing a ‘mad hat’ made of flowers. During the applause, ADAM turns the washtub upside down, sits on it, picks up the melon and starts thumping it, listening Jor its hollowness) EVE Adam, I just had a wonderful idea. ADAM (hdicating her hat with distaste) Is that it? EVE No. What I thought indicating her hat) Do you like it? ADAM [think ifs unbecoming and ridiculous. And I want you to take it off this instant. EVE (She does) I thought it would please you. ADAM How could it please me to see you walking around covered with rubbish? EVE Rubbish? Flowers, rubbish? These beautiful creatures that catch the smile of God out of the sky and preserve it? Rubbish? Does everything have to be useful? Isn’t there anything you care about except thumping those melons? (ADAM, suddenly self-conscious, stops thumping his melon) We've been given a world full of wonderful secrets and mysteries, There's so much to learn! Oh, Adam, to see everything and to know everything ... why that might take us weeks! How can you be so narrow? Tue Apo.e TREE SaTue Aprie TREE ADAM Thave a lot of interests. It may surprise you to learn that only yesterday T invented something brand new. EVE (Ob, Adam, what? ADAM (Rises) Humor. EVE Humor? ADAM Does that word puzzle you? I thought it might. ll be happy to explain. Yesterday, I ‘was sitting beside the path that leads to the comfield and I happened to notice this yellow clucker— EVE Chicken. ADAM All right! EVE It looks like— ADAM All right! Have it your way! [happened to notice this chicken. For a long time it walked slowly back and forth, hesitating, and then suddenly it zipped across the path, And I thought to myself, ”Why did that chicken cross that path?” And then I thought, "To get to the other side!” (He is overcome with hysterical laughter. Finally, he controls himself enough to say) ‘That's the world’s first joke. And I made it up. Don’t you see the humor of it? (EVE has been growing increasingly puzzled, She obliges ADAM with a perfunctory smile but shrugs apologetically) T guess you had to be there — and I'm going there (He turns and starts fo leave) EVE Adam, don’t you want to hear my wonderful idea? ADAM No. (Exits)Tue AppLe TREE ee EVE Tinvented eyo (She claps her Lands sharply) (As though responding to a command, ADAM enters quickly and goes to her) i ADAM Well, whiat is it? EVE Ive been thinking ... we're different from anything else on earth. And our home should be different. ADAM I thought it was. esterday, I 2 otice this EVE And today Ihad the feeling that the grass around our hut should be different from all other grass. ADAM Different how? EVE Shorter. ADAM How could it be shorter a (EVE begins to exit) sthe unless it was cut? then I (As EVE exits, the hut slides out. ADAM sits on the tub) Monday, June tenth. This relentless pursuit of improvements is making me feel more > say) hampered than ever. 2 tctory een Reet ed) What's truly puzzling is that the more time we spend together, the closer we get; and the closer we get, the more anxious it makes me. Anyway, there’s one bright spot She's taken up with a snake now. I'm glad, because the snake talks and this allows me a little time to rest. Eve has also taken to spending a great deal of time at the pond. I don’t know why. (The lights fade on ADAM and come up on EVE, gazing at herself in the [imaginary] pond)THe AppLe TREE EVE LOOK AT YOU LOOK AT ME, HOW MUCH MORE ALIKE COULD TWO GIRLS BE? HERE WE STAND, SISTERS AND FRIENDS. - WHEN ISPEAK, YOU SPEAK, TOO, AND WHEN IAM SILENT, SO ARE YOU. THAT'S THE TEST OF TWO BEST FRIENDS. WHEN MY LIFE IS HARD TO BEAR, ‘THEN 1 RUN TO SEE YOU THERE. AND MY HEART BLOOMS, YOUR FACE BEAMS. NOTHING IS AS AWFUL AS IT SEEMS. ‘WE'RE SUCH DEAR, ‘MORE THAN MERE FRIENDS. (Lights fade on EVE, come up on ADAM) ADAM Bve fell in the pond yesterday. (Laughs) She damn near strangled. She said it was so cold and uncomfortable in there that she felt somy for the fish. So last night she got a lot of them out and brought them inside. ‘And she put them in my bed to keep them warm. EVE (Rises and crosses to ADAM) Hello, Adam.hat she inside. Tur AppLe TREE mS ADAM. ive, tonight those fish go back to the pond. EVE But it’s so uncomfortable there! ADAM. Eve, I've been watching those fish off and on all morning, and I don’t see that they’ze any happier than they were before. They're just — quieter, EVE But— ADAM. I don’t want ‘em in my bed. They're clammy! EVE But, Adam— ADAM Iwant you to put ‘em back! Do you understand me? EVE ‘Yes, Adam. ADAM Allright, then. (He picks up his tub and starts to leave) EVE Where are you going? ADAM. (Stops) Somewhere I can be by myseli. EVE Where? ADAM Over the falls. EVE Not in that leaky tub? Oi, Adam, I wish you wouldn’t! ADAM Bve, this has nothing to do with you, EVE Itmakes me shudder! It’s not safe.Tur Appie TREE ADAM Well, [like t. And I like the plunge EVE = Please, don’t. Not in the tub. You can’t imagine how it frightens me, I can’t bear it. (She tries to grab the tub. He pulls it axoay from her) ADAM. You can’t? Well, I can’t bear this everlasting complaining. First you complained about my going over the falls in a barrel. So I made a tub, Did that satisfy you? No, sir, Now you complain about the tub! And if it isn’t the tub, if be something else. ve, I won't have it. [don’t want to be complained at, I don’t want to be clucked over, I don’t want to be clung to. I'm going to the falls and after that I'm not sure where I'm going. So don’t wait for me, (He storms off) EVE (Yells after him) ‘Adam, would you bring back some of those hollyocks that grow by the falls? ADAM (Offstage) Thate flowers! (EVE goes back to the pond) EVE AND ON DAYS WHEN HE WITHDRAWS, I'M LESS LONELY NOW BECAUSE IF [SHOULD NEED SYMPATHY, YOU WOULD NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON ME. LHAVE YOU. WHO NEEDS TWO FRIENDS? (The SNAKE enters, He throws a pebble into the pond, which makes EVE’ shatter) (To her reflection) Wait! Don't go away! ‘There's no one there, Eve.>ear it ved a? No, g else, ked tion Tur AppLe Tree — 25 - EVE (Whirls around, startled) What? Oh; hello, snake, = SNAKE Taid, there's no one there EVE ‘There is sol My friend’s there. And she'll be back. SNAKE No, Bve. That's what's called a reflection. (indicates the pond) ‘You see, when waves of one kind, traveling in one medium, arrive at another in which their velocity is different, part of thetr energy is turned back into the first medium, In this case, the waves are light rays which appear to come from a literally inverted replica of the Iuminous source, and it is this image which is then focused on the retina, EVE I don’t believe you. SNAKE Well, it’s so. Lock (He leans over EVE and wiggles his arms and legs. EVE compares the reflection with the snake) See, That's not my brother. That's me. ‘Then I have no one! No friend! Not SNAKE (Sits, leans back) What about Adam? EVE (Lies across his lap) He doesn’t even like me, He thinks I'm a numskull, And I am... s0 how could he like ame? Oly I wish I was educated — like you, SNAKE Would you really like that? EVE Oh, yes!Tue AppLe TREE SNAKE Nothing could be simple. EVE How? How? SNAKE ‘You know that apple tree on the other side of the hill? EVE Forbidden fruit? SNAKE Who says? EVE Adam. SNAKE My dear git, the forbidden fruit in this Garden is hardly apples, I’ chestnuts. EVE Chestnuts? SNAKE Well, not literally. When I say “chestnuts”, that’s a figurative term meaning old and moldy jokes. EVE ‘The thing Adam calls humor. SNAKE Exactly. There's your forbidden fruit. EVE Chestnuts! I didn’t know that. See how ignorant I am? (Music begins: "Forbidden Fruit”) DEPEi ecco SNAKE LISTEN CLOSELY. LET ME FILL YOU IN ABOUT THE RICH, RIPE, ROUND, RED ROSY APPLES THEY CALL FORBIDDEN FRUIT, WHAT 'M ABOUT TO SAY IS CONFIDENTIAL, SO PROMISE YOU'LL BE MUTE. BECAUSE IF EVERY CREATURE IN THE GARDEN KNOWS,THE Apps Tree (SNAKE) ‘THEY'LL COME ‘ROUND LIKE HUNGRY BUFFALOS AND IN NO TIME, THERE'LL BE NONE OF THOSE ‘PRECIOUS APPLES LEFT FOR YOU AND ME. ‘NOW, IN THE AVERAGE APPLE YOU'RE ACCUSTOMED TO SKIN, SEEDS, FLESH AND CORE, BUT YOU WILL FIND THAT THESE ARE SPECIAL APPLES THAT GIVE YOU SO MUCH MORE. WHY, EVERY SEED CONTAINS SOME INFORMATION YOU NEED TO SPEED YOUR EDUCATION; ‘THE SEEDS, INDEED, OF ALL CREATION ARE HERE. WHY BE FOOLISH, MY DEAR? (COME WITH ME TO THAT TREE, EVE don't think Adam would approve. Maybe they're not forbidden, but I still have qualms, SNAKE WITH EVERY SWEET AND JUICY LUSCIOUS BITE OF THIS NOT FORBIDDEN FRUIT, ‘YOU'LL SEE YOUR MIND EXPAND AND ‘YOUR PERCEPTIONS GROW MORE AND MOR ACUTE. AND YOU CAN TEACH HIM PLUMBING AND PHILOSOPHY, NEW TECHNIQUES FOR GLAZING POTTERY, WOOD-CRAFT, FIRST-AID, HOME-ECONOMY. MADAM, ADAM, WILL BE OVERJOYED! WHEN HE BECOMES AWARE OF ‘YOUR ATTAINMENTS, HE'LL BEAM WITH LOVING PRIDE, AND HE WILL SAY (Holds her in his arms) “OH, BVE, YOU'RE INDISPENSABLE! PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE MY SIDEI” AND WITH YOUR NIFTY NEW-FOUND EDUCATION, HELL RELISH EVERY CONVERSATION, WHY, YOU'LL BE ADAM'S INSPIRATION THIS WAY! JUST AN APPLE A DAY. WAIT AND SEE, i |Tur AppLe TREE (SNAKE) (COME WITH ME TO THAT TREE! Now! (He takes EVE'S arm and pulls her offstage. (As the applause diminishes, ADAM runs onstage. Having gone over the falls in his tub, ADAM enters with a towel, calling excitedly) ADAM Evel ... Evel .. (To audience) Isn't that just like her? When I dont want her, she's always underfoot. And when 1 want her (Looks around again) Eve..! (Shrugs, throws his towel on the ground) ‘Too bad. I know she'd be interested in my new discovery. I don’t know how it happened — but I think I'm beginning to see the world, not through my eyes, but hers! (Shares a look of amazement with the audience. Music begins: “Beautiful, Beautifull World”. He looks around, smiles) PEED ent ee ISEE ANIMALS AND BIRDS AND FLOWERS, EVERY COLOR, EVERY SHAPE AND SIZE, MOSS AND PEBBLES AND A HOST OF WONDERS GLEAMING EVERYWHERE I AIM MY BYES. SO IF EVER I’M ATTACKED BY BOREDOM, YLL JUST OPEN UP MY EYES AND SEE ‘THIS DIVERSIFIED, CURIOUS, FASCINATING, BOUNTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL WORLD. I HEAR CHATTERING AND I HEAR CHIRPING, WHISTLING, MURMURING AND HONKS AND SNORIS. WHEN I SIMPLY TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN, IHEAR MUSIC OF A THOUSAND SORTS. 80 IF EVER I WOULD REST MY EYES, MY EARS CAN EASILY DESCRIBE TO METue Appie Tree - 29 - (ADAM) ‘THIS DIVERSIFIED, CURIOUS, FASCINATING, BOUNTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL WORLD. WORLD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, FOR ALL I SEE, HEAR, TASTE AND TOU‘ PLUS EVERY WHIFF I SNIFF. (On the downbeat, he inhales through his nose, audibly) STILL, IT’S POSSIBLE A DAY MAY COME WHEN MOMENTARILY THE WORLD WEARS THIN. IF | WEARY OF THE WORLD OUTSIDE ME, I CAN ALWAYS TAKE A GOOD LOOK IN. FOR, ALONG WITH EVERY CLOUD AND COBWEB, YM EMPHATICALLY A MEMBER OF ‘THIS DIVERSIBIED, CURIOUS, FASCINATING, BOUNTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL WORLD ILOVE. (During the applause, he thinks of something which makes him smile. He laughs, then sudderily, he freezes. Looking out in the direction of the audience, he calls out in alarm) Hey! Hey, you there, growler — I mean lion. Leave that lamb alone. Don’t do that — you'll hurt him. I said stop that! What do you think you're doing? Stop it! Stop it! (He steps back in horror) Oh, my God! Oh, my Godt (He looks about in angus Oh, my Goat! (Thunder is heard rumbling ominously. EVE enters, throws her arms around ADAM in fear, She is carrying an apple, though we don't se it as yet, She wears a robe of flowers) as the stage darkens) EVE ‘There you are! Oh, Adamt ADAM ‘You did it! You did it! I warned you. You ate the apples, didn’t you? The forbidden fruit! Do you know what you did? I told you. I said don’t touch that fruit — something terrible would happen. And now death has come into the Garden. (He pushes her away) ‘How could you do it? How could you do sucha damnable thing? EVE I didn’t do it! Imean, it wasn’t the apples ~ they're not forbidden.THe ApeLe Tree ADAM No? Then what is? EVE Chestnuts, ADAM Chestnuts? Where did you pick that up? EVE ‘The snake told me. And he knows everything. In fact, this whole thing is probably your fault ADAM My fault? I didn’t eat any chestnuts, EVE Not that kind, This kind of chestnut is a joke. Have you been making up jokes, ‘Adam? Tell the truth. ADAM I did think of one... (She reacts audibly and turns away) but I didn’t say it out loud! Oh, my ... I was standing here — just before it all happened — and I was thinking about Niagara Falls, And I thought, “How wonderful to see that vast body of water tumble down there.” And then I thought, “"Yes, but it would be a lot more wonderful to see it tumble up!” EVE ‘That's it. That's what did it. ADAM Oh, my. Oh my, ob my... (To Heawen) Why was I born so witty? EVE We have to leave the Garden, don’t we? ADAM We broke the rule ... [broke the rule. I'm sony, Eve. EVE Oh... you didn’t know. (ADAM suddenly notices EVE'S costume) ADAM Eve, you know I can’t stand to see you wearing that rubbish. Please, take it offcobably ought, Tue APPLE TREE - 31 (He starts to help embarrassment) off with her robe, To his surprise, she resists with some — EVE No, don’t do that. You mustn't Please, Adam. No, don't please! . ADAM You're behaving like an idiot. Ifyou want to make a silly spectacle of yourself, go right ahead. I know what I'm going to do. Ihaven’t eaten all day. (Starts fo exit) EVE ‘Would you like an apple? (He turns around and she shows him a bright red apple) ADAM Oh, it's one of those. EVE ‘They're not forbidden. ADAM Tknow. But somehow it still goes against my principles. (Takes the apple) Is certainly a fine looking specimen, isn’t it? Considering the lateness of the season and all. I guess principles have no real force unless you're well fed. (He takes a bite and chews for a moment. Suddenly, he reaches down and picks up his towel) ‘Turn your back! Don’t you have any modesty at all? (He wraps himself in the towel) EVE Sorry. (She turns her back) Adam? ADAM What? EVE (Starts fo cry) Telooks like rain. ADAM know. Come on. We'll have to build a new shelter somewhere.Tue ApPLE TREE eyo (Music underscores the transition to Tonawanda _. ADAM and EVE walk upstage hand in hand, pause, and kiss shyly. They exit.) (A simple set comes on: a rocking chair, ttoo clothes poles, a clothes line with some garments hanging on it, etc. Off to one side is a bench, ADAM enters. He wears unpressed slacks and a sweater over an open shirt) ADAM Eve calls this place Tonawanda. You know, it looks like Tonawanda. I find she’s a good deal of a companion. I can see I'd be lonesome and depressed without her, now that I've lost my property. (EVE enters. She wears a simple house dress and sweater and carries a wooden bowl and a spoon. She is pregnant and it is starting to show EVE Did you like the baked apples? ADAM Very tasty. EVE like to try new things, ADAM Iremember when you invented fire. I never thought it would be practical. EVE ‘That reminds me ... how's the multiplication table coming? ADAM I don’t knows. I get as far as five tintés nine is twenty-seven and the whole thing goes to pieces. EVE You'll get it, dear. ADAM (By his suggestive smile we know what's on his mind) Well .. Ym tired, EV) (Smiles; she's thinking of the same thing) Is late.ome rs e'sa her, bow! 1g goes, Tue AppLe TREE emo ADAM. (Starts to exit; turns back) ive, is it my imagination or have you been putting on weight? _ 10 her mouth greedily from the ‘The lights restore and ADAM. (He exits. She starts to cry, then exits spooning food i ‘wooden bowl. Lights face. Music begins: "It's a Fish enters hurriedly) I just got back from a hunting trip up north and found that Eve had caught some new kind of animal. NOW I COULD SWEAR THAT IT'S AFISH, ‘THOUGH IT RESEMBLES US IN EVERY WAY BUT SIZE. SHE GIVES IT MILK AND EVERY NIGHT SHE PICKS IT UP AND PATS AND PETS IT WHEN IT CRIES. T ALWAYS KNEW SHE PITIED FISH BUT [I'S RIDICULOUS TO MAKE THEM HOUSEHOLD PETS, SHE SAYS IT’S NOT A FISH. ISAYITIS A FISH ~ “CAUSE IT SURROUNDS IISELF WITH WATER ALMOST EVERY CHANCE IT GETS. (EVE enters carrying a bundle wrapped in a rough woolen blanket, and acting very ‘wary of ADAM) Ttold you it’s not a fish! ADAM How will we ever find out what itis, if we don’t experiment? EVE 1 don’t care what it is! (Her voice rises toa frenzied scream) You keep away from it! ADAM You're standing in the way of science!ae APPLE TREE (ADAM) ys NOT AFISH. FISH NEVER SCREAM SAND THIS ONE DOSS THOUGH ON OCCASION IT SAYS "GOO", TIS LEGS ARE LONG: 11S ARMS ARESHORT, go rSUSPECT THAT IT'S AKIND OF KANGAROO. "AND SINCE IT CAME, 1 PITY EVE. guis’S GOTTEN MADDER BY SHE MINUTE AND IT SHOWS. (ete makes a circular motion by 8 head indicating that Boe fas lst her rind) LAST NIGHT ISAID TO HER ‘THAT [WOULD MUCH PREFER TO HAVE IT STUBFED FOR MY COLLECTION AND SHE PUNCHED MEIN THE NOSE Exits) (sie begins: "Go to Sleep, Wateoer ‘You Are”. EVE comes on carrying the bundle looks around to.ee if she is alone ‘She sits on the bench) #16 - Go TO G0 TO SLEEP, WHATEVER YOU ARE: LAY YOUR HBAD ON MY BREAST: COS YOUR EYES AND OPEN YOUR PAWS, YOU NEED PLENTY OF REST. WOULDN'T FAZE ME JR YOU GREW UP TO BE PONY OR POODLE OR SHEEP. YOU'RE MY OWN, WHATEVER YOU ARE (SLEEP ... SUBEP ~. SLEEP ~~ (ADAM re-enters. We hear te cay gurging. ADAM pus his ing rear the baby’s eth, Ye se by hi reaction tat the by has bitten him. EVE exits)bundle baby’s rrrevige ce Tne AprLe TREE ADAM IT’S GROWING TEETH AND IT CAN BITE AND I'M CONVINCED THAT WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A BEAR 1M WORRIED SICK, BUT EVE ISNOT. SHE BURNT THE MUZZLE THAT I MADE FOR IT TO WEAR. I'VE SEARCHED THE WOODS, I'VE BAITED TRAPS AND YET I COULDN'T FIND TTS SISTER OR ITS BROTHER. AND THOUGH I'VE HUNTED FAR AND WIDE WHILE EVE HAS HARDLY STEPPED OUTSIDE, TLL BE DAMNED IF SHE DIDN'T CATCH ANOTHER! Blackout.) (EVE enters with a basket of fruits and vegetables EVE “They are boys. We found that out long ago. It was their coming in that small, immature shape that puzzled us. (vellsofftage) Cain! Abel! Keep out of my garden! You'll ruin the flowers! (To audience) “The old Garden. That seems like a dream to me, It was beautiful. Surpassingly beautiful. But still a dream, Making supper for three hungry males is not a dream. the lights fade on EVE and come up on ADAM, woho ins a stylized plow and a rake) ADAM “They're nearly as big as Iam now. Abel is a good boy. But i Cain had stayed a bear it would have improved him. [never know what's coming next, A fire started for spite; a creature killed without sense or reason. I have come to depend on Eve more than I would have believed possible. I used to think she talked too much. But now Yd be sorry to have that voice fall silent and pass out of my life (As ADAM exits, EVE enter, sits in the rocking chair and begins knitting « sweater)- 36 = THe AprLe TREE EVE Some time back, my boys were fighting. And Cain struck Abel and xan away. Now Cain is gone and Abel's (She is unable to finish the sentence) = ‘There is too much stillness in the house. (ADAM enters carrying a laundry basket, He now wears brown suspenders and a battered old hat, He begins taking clothes from the clothesline and putting them in his basket, He gazes at EVE, who is unusually quiet) ADAM ‘Are you all right? EVE (Still knitting) ‘Yes, Adam, I've been thinking, I hope that when we die, we die together. ADAM ‘That's a subject I'd— EVE Wait. If one of us must go first, my prayer is that I'm the one. ADAM Idon’t want to— EVE You're strong and I'm weak. You're more necessary to me than I am to you. ADAM That's not true. EVE ‘Yes, its true, IV's always been true. ADAM (Changing the subject) Listen, listen — I've got a good one for you. Why do I always wear brown suspenders? EVE (Laughs heartily) That's my favorite. (Continues to laugh)THE ApPLe TREE - 37 = ADAM bead (Begins to laugh) - Oh, I forget .. _ (He laughs, coughs a bit and exits) md a EVE - 2m in his (Gazes after him and chuckles) Life without him would not be life. I don’t think I could endure it. And yet, if ask myself why Llove him, I find I don’t know. It’s not on account of his gracious and considerate ways. He's a bit flawed in those respects. love certain animals for their dignity — and certain birds for their song, But Adam ..?, (Music begins: "What Makes Me Love Hi?”) PST PEL Len eee WHAT MAKES ME LOVE HIM? IT'S NOT HIS SINGING. I'VE HEARD HIS SINGING: IT SOURS THE MILK, AND YET IT'S GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I PREFER THAT KIND OF MILK. WHAT MAKES ME LOVE HIM? 11'S NOT HIS LEARNING. HE'S LEARNED SO SLOWLY HIS WHOLE LIFE LONG. AND THOUGH HE REALLY KNOWS, A MULTITUDE OF THINGS, ‘THEY'RE MOSTLY WRONG. HE IS A GOOD MAN, ‘THOUGH FAR FROM PERFECT AND ON OCCASION, HE'S USED ME ILL. |AND THOUGH HE'S HANDSOME, KNOW INSIDE ME WERE HE A PLAIN MAN, YD LOVE HIM STILL.yo Tue Appie Tree (EVE) WHAT MAKES ME LOVE HIM? IT'S QUITE BEYOND ME. If MUST BE SOMETHING 1 CAN'T DEFINE. UNLESS IT’S MERELY ‘THAT HE'S MASCULINE AND THAT HE'S MINE. (Music continues to play as she rises from the rocking chair and exits slowly. Light remains on the rocking chair, which rocks slowly) (ADAM enters carrying a watering can. He gazes at the rocking chair; he bears a great sadness) ADAM ve died today. [knew she would, of course. Well, at least her prayer was answered — she went first. Now that she’s gone, I realize something I didn’t realize before. I used to think it was a terrible tragedy when Eve and I had to leave the Garden. Now I know it really didn’t matter because wheresoever she was, there was Eden. And now, Ihave to water her flowers. She loved them, you know. a on (A mound slides onstage, the same mound on which EVE made her first entrance. This time itis covered with flowers. The strains of the “Eden Theme” are heard as ADAM Ineels by the mound and begins fo water the flowers) CURTAIN INTERMISSIONTue AppLe TREE — 39 - PART II ‘THE LADY OR THE TIGER? Based on “The Lady or the Tiger?” by Frank R. Stockton 420 - Lady Or The Tiger ~ Overture Light [the performer who has just played the SNAKE enters in front of the curtain and sings, accompanying himself on a guitar] 180 great 420a—T'll Tell You A Truth - Opening BALLADEER YLLTELL YOU A TRUTH ‘THAT'S HARD TO SWALLOW. TLL TELL YOU A TRUTH. (OH, LISTEN WELL! IF YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH A LOVER WHO'S JEALOUS, ‘THEN SOONER OR LATER ‘YOU'RE HEADED FOR HELL. wae 80 SAY GOODBYE AND DON’T YOU WAIT BI MAY BE TOO LATE, ‘YES, LISTEN WELL ‘TO WHAT SAY: ‘TELL JEALOUS LOVERS TO GO AWAY. TLL TELL YOU A TALE FOR YOU TO PONDER TLL TELL YOU A TALE, (O, LISTEN WELL! ‘A.CURIOUS TALE, IE'TELLS OF A PRINCESS AND IT TELLS OF HER LOVER | AND ALL THAT BEFELL. 7 Tf the performer does not play guitar, he pretends to play while he is accompanied by guitar in the orchestraTee AppLe TREE (BALLADEER) (The orchestra begins to play a savage rhythm. As the BALLADEER continues to speak, — the curtain rises behind kim) Ithappened a long time ago in a far-away kingdom ruled by an absolute monarch, King Arik, (the lights suddenly come on full. The BALLADEER moves to one side of the stage as the KING'S MEN appear, snapping whips. Their costumes are colorfully barbaric, As they sing, KING ARIK is brought onstage on his throne, which is quite impressive and quite high. The throne is moved into position, upstage center) KING’S MEN ‘MAKE WAY! HE COMES! HIS ROYAL TALLNESS! HIS HIGHEST HIGHNESS! HIS WAY, WAY UPNESS! HIS MOUNTAINSHIP! MAKE WAY! HE COMES: KING ARIK! BALLADEER (Moves to center stage) ‘The King had a daughter, the Princess Barbara’, and a more hot-blooded, high- handed pair never lived. (Barbara's HANDMAIDENS enter. Their costumes, too, are colorfully barbaric. As they sing, the PRINCESS BARBARA enters, carried on an open palanguin by two GUARDS) | HANDMAIDENS MAKE WAY! SHE COMES! HER REGAL PROUDNESS! HER FLASHING EYENESS! [HER SELF-INDULGENESS! HER GODDESSNESS! MAKE WAY! SHE COMES: PRINCESS BARBARA! * Pronounced: BarBat ear na RanSaTSEE at carnnncen ene a THE APPLE TREE —41 (The procession ends. The MEN and WOMEN nous bring the two halves of set of ‘bleachers’ onstage, setting them side by side, center stage. The KING’s throne is ‘28 0 speak, lly bekind them) ronarch, BALLADEER Now, this king was something of an idealist on the subject of justice, and so he invented a legal system which, he believed, absolutely guaranteed every prisoner a fair trial. worked this way. All trials were held in a large arena, (Lighting makes center stage into an arena) stage as In this arena there were two doors. They stood by side and looked exactly alike, aric, As ‘Tt00 massive, primitive doors slide onstage, one from each a (200 massive, prim 8 slide onstage, one fi wing) ‘The prisoner had his choice. (The PRISONER is brought on by a GUARD and looks apprehensively at the KING) He could open either door, but he knew that behind one of them there was a ferocious and ravenous tiger! Ween) PRISONER to the floor and takes his place with the KING'S ‘MEN and the HANDMAIDENS on the steps of the bleachers) KING PRISONER, CHOOSE! IT'S YOUR CHANCE TO PROVE YOUR INNOCENCE OR GUILT! ~ cHoruS SALUTE! ‘YEH YEH MANNA! ‘YEH YEH CALLOO! ‘YEH YEH MANNA | CALLOO YEH YEH! | (As they chant, the CHORUS gives the PRISONER the ritual saute, They point one arm heavemoard and the other earthward, symbolizing the alternate outcomes of the two. I choices. Then they puta hand over each eye, symbolizing the blindness of chartce. When ‘his ceremony is over, the PRISONER bows fo the KING and the PRINCESS, Then he {faces upstage and goes to the two doors, He can’t decide which to choose. The CHORUS reacts vocally as the PRISONER reaches for the door on their side of the arena. Racked | by doubt, he turns front in abject confusion. Finally, in desperation, he chooses a door and opens it. Out comes a dancer in a ‘tiger’ costume. In a savage dance, the tiger leaps | at the PRISONER'S throat. He screams, tries to run, falls, kicks and finally lies quiet. As this is happening, the CHORUS sings) |Tur AppLe TREE — cHhorus AL All ALAL = ‘THAT ONE SO YOUNG AND FAIR SHOULD DIE! AL EE! AL EB A TERRIFYING SIGHT TO SEE! (The PRISONER is dead’) MEN BUT BETTER HIM THAN ME! ALL YEH! (EVERYONE onstage freezes) BALLADEER However, suppose he had chosen the other door (A recording of the music of the previous scene is played backwards, The movements that EVERYONE made previously are performed in reverse up to the moment where the PRISONER makes his choice. This time, he chooses the other door) Way then a beautiful lady came out and he maxtied her on the spot — whether he wanted to or not. (o the accompaniment of the chant, the PRISONER and his BRIDE dance down to the KING, toho marries them instantly) CHORUS AL, EB! AL, EEL A GRATIFYING SIGHT TO SEE WOMEN AL All AL AIL A WEDDING ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY!ments where her he wn fo the THE APPLE TREE - 43 - MEN BUT BETTER HE THAN It ALL YEH BALLADEER [And this was the simple and beautiful system of justice in King Arik’s kingdom. If you happened to choose the lady, you were obviously innocent. If you happened to ‘choose the tiges, you were just as Gbviously guilty. And no one could deny that it ‘was a fair trial, because the choice lay in the prisoner's own hands. (A gong sounds, The doors move off and we are in another part of the palace) Now, there was also in this kingdom a soldier of exceptional bravery, and his name was Captain Sanjar. (The BALLADEER exits. A GUARD salutes the KING) GUARD Your Mountainship, Captain Sanjar of your Royal Camels has just returned from the battlefield. (At the notion that Sanjar has returned, BARBARA mumbles wildly and incoherently) BARBARA Homina-homina-homina, KING (With a gesture) Int GUARD Int OFFSTAGE VOICE Ee eee (A gong sounds. SANJAR enters in primitive battle garb, He is tattered, burnt and exhausted but he manages to climb several of the bleacher steps before he addresses the KING)Tue AppLe TREE SANJAR We won! (EVERYONE cheers. SANJAR collapses and rolls down the stairs, unconscious) KING ARIK (ignoring SANJAR, he rises) Victory is ours! (Fanfare. The KING climbs douwn from his throne) We pray now. To the alter, (EVERYONE follows the KING, stepping over SANTAR as they exit) cHoRUS VICTORY IS OURS! VICTORY IS OURS! VICTORY IS OURS! (The singing and the music fade as they all exit. BARBARA is the last to leave. NADJIRA has remained behind and now kneels by the prone SANJAR. She takes out a Ierchiof and wipes SANJAR’S brow tenderly. A gong sounds. BARBARA returns) BARBARA Nadjira, pray go. (NADJIRA doesn’t move) Nadjira, go pray. Get out. (NADJIRA slowly rises, genuflects fo BARBARA and exits backwards. BARBARA, left alone, checks to see that she is not being observed, then goes to SANJAR. She kneels next to him and blows sofily in his face. Music begins: "Forbidden Love". SANJAR wakes, rises to his kriees and embraces BARBARA)ious) takes out a sturns) Tee APPLE TREE — 45 - Price eed SANJAR es BARBARA! BARBARA . SANJARI (Folds his face in her hands) SANJARI SANJAR BAR~ BARBARA Shih! Someone's coming! (She leaps away from him. Three HANDMAIDENS enter) SANJAR (Assumes the ‘salute’ position and gives his report to BARBARA) _uthree killed, seventeen wounded, but we slashed them to ribbons, your Proudness. ‘The next day. BARBARA (Watches the HANDMAIDENS until they have left) ‘They deserved every slash! Tell me more, Captain! More! (Qvtusic resumes) BARBARA DO YOU LOVE ME? SANJAR FOREVER! BARBARA, DID YOU MISS ME SANJAR DIDI EVER! WHEN BATTLE HAD ALL BUT DRAINED ME, (ONE VISION ALONE SUSTAINED ME: ‘THE THOUGHT OF YOU AND OUR FORBIDDEN LOVE.Tee ApPLe TREE BARBARA WHENEVER MY DAYS WERE HARRIED AND FATHER WOULD SAY, “GET MARRIED", 1 THOUGHT OF YOU AND OUR FORBIDDEN LOVE (They move eoay from each other, looking in all rections to make sure they are alone) SANJAR SO KISS ME, COME KISS ME, FOR WHO KNOWS WHEN WE MAY KISS LIKE THIS AGA BARBARA Shh! Someone’s coming! (Four GUARDS enter and cross the stage. Onice again SANJAR assumes his ‘salute’ position) SANJAR “That day we killed all their camels, two corporals, and I suffered a small wound in my head, your Proudness. BARBARA ‘Don’t bore me with your injuries, Captain. Describe the slaughter. More details. I relish details! (The GUARDS have now exited) SANJAR Barbara, this is torture! - BARBARA Tenow. SANJAR Let's ran avvay. BARBARA Where? SANJAR Thave this cousin who served with Julius Caesar, and he told me about a place called Gaul. BARBARA (Cooking around, distratedly) What?Tue AppLE TREE ee) sre alone) ‘salute’ und in ails. I vce called SANJAR THEY TELL ME IT'S DIVIDED IN THREE PARTS. WE'LL PICK THE PART THATS - CLOSEST TO OUR HEARTS. + (He puts his arm around her waist; they gaze forward) i IN GAUL : WE'D LIVE SO SIMPLY. NO MORE FEATHERS AND FUSS; JUST THE CHILDREN AND US. IN GAUL WE'D HAVE A GARDEN ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN AND A HOUSE PAINTED BROWN. BARBARA Why brown? SANJAR NO MORE STOLEN KISSES. BARBARA NO MORE STOLEN SIGHS. SANJAR STOLEN NIGHTS. BARBARA STOLEN DAYS. SANJAR STOLEN BITES. BARBARA SWOLLEN BYES. BOTH (in an embrace, as before) IN GAUL WE'D BE SO HAPPY. BARBARA OSANJAR, MY HAWK!Tee ApeLe Tree SANJAR BARBARA, MY DOVE! - BOTH ‘WE'D BE TWO ORDINARY _PHOPLE IN LOVE, IN LOVE IN GAUL BARBARA (Moves away frome him) It’s impossible! YOU KNOW AS WELL AST (OUR PLACE IS HERE. MY PEOPLE NEED ME. SANJAR Bitterly) [AND I HAVE MY CAREER. (They move towards each other) BOTH ‘THOUGH THIS IS OUR FATE, WEILL FIGHT Ti OUR PASSION WILL THRIVE DESPITE IT! AND THOUGH WE'RE AT ODDS WITH ALL THE GODS ABOVE, WEILL KEEP WELL HIDDEN OUR FORBIDDEN LOVE! (Chey embrace passionately. A. gong sounds, KING ARIK enters, glaring at them. Two GUARDS are beltind him. SANJAR kneels in salute) TIT coe KING ARIK BARBARAI HOW COULD You? BARBARA. LOVE HIM!'n. Two Tue Appre TREE KING ARIK FORBIDDEN! SANJAR KING ARIK— -KING ARIK BE SILENT! BARBARA (Crosses to the KING) Oh, Daddy! KING ARIK YoU KNOW AND I KNOW ‘THE SACRED COMMANDMENT: FOR A COMMON MAN ‘TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU IS ASIN AGAINST THE GODS! (To the GUARDS, pointing to SANJAR) ‘Take him! (The GUARDS seize SANJAR and drag him offstage) BARBARA. What aze you going to do to him? KING ARIK He will have a fair trial. (Exits) BARBARA (Alone onstage) Atrial! The tiger! CELE ‘THOSE RAZOR TEETH, ‘THOSE IRON CLAWS, HIS HANDSOME THROAT BETWEEN THOSE JAWS, NOT MY SANJAR, LYING THERE, eae(BARBARA) IRE! STOP THAT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I— But how? Others have tried. No one has ever been able to discover, before the tial, which door hides the tiger. Someone must know. But who? (Lights reveal. the BALLADEER in ‘tiger-keeper' hat, whip in hand) ‘The Royal Tiger-keeper, of course! (Crosses to hint. He kneels as she approaches) ‘You must help met EFTETTI aroma ceed BALLADEER IMUST ADVISE YOUR PROUDNESS: ‘THERE ARB THINGS IT IS BETTER Nor TO KNOW. BARBARA. ‘Are you going to help me or not! BALLADEFER IF YOU INSIST, YOUR PROUDNESS, ‘THEN, OF COURSE, I WILL TELL YOU EVEN SO. BARBARA Good! BALLADEER ‘YOU WILL NOT RECONSIDER? BARBARA. No! BALLADEER ‘YOU ARE CERTAIN YOU WANT THIS KNOWLEDGE BARBARA Yes! BALLADEER ‘THOUGH. I WARN YOU AGAINST ‘THIS KNOWLEDGE?he trial, Tue AprLe TREE - 51 BARBARA BALLADEER BEIT ON YOUR OWN HEAD! (He rises, close fo her) WHAT'S FORBIDDEN TO KNOW, YOU SHALL KNOW. BEITSO (He whispers in her ear, hands her the whip and exits) BARBARA ve got it. Oh, Sanjar, I've got it! (As she sings, from time to time she aracks the whip ineffectually) T'VE GOT WHAT YOU WANT. I'VE GOT WHAT YOU NEED. KNOW HOW MUCH YOU WANT IT. ‘YEHI YEH! SANJAR! KNOW MY FATHER WOULD KILL ME IF HE KNEW MY HEART WAS SET ON GIVING WHAT I'VE GOT TO YOU. YEH YEH! KNOW WHAT I KNOW. ‘YOU NEED WHAT I KNOW. WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS. YOU KNOW IT, ‘YEH! YEH! SANJAR IF WE DON'T SHARE THIS SECRET, YOU JUST MIGHT DIE. SOI WILL GIVE IT TO YOU AND WHEN I GIVE IT TO YOU, ‘YOU'LL SHOUT FOR JOY AND SO WILLIE ‘YES, [WILL GIVEIT TO YOU AND WHEN I GIVE IT TO YOU, YOU'LL SHOUT FOR JOY AND SO WILL 1!THe AppLE TREE (GUARDS cross the stage bearing a resplendent NADJIRA on an open palanguin, BARBARA finally sees them. ) BARBARA Nadjira? (The procession doesn't stop) Nadjira? (She addresses the GUARD bringing up the rear) Guard! (He doesn't respond) ‘Testicules!* (He turns towards her) Guard! Where are you taking my servant? GUARD ‘To the arena, your Proudness. The King has chosen Nadjira to wait behind the second door. BARBARA Nadjiral The other door! Of course! (Calling after thers as they exit) | forbid itt I forbid itt I forbid itt (They are gone. The lights change. The BALLADEER enters and exits with the tiger on leash. BARBARA toatches them cross, then sings) EEVEErromes od TIGER, TIGER, PUT ON YOUR NAPKIN, SOMEONE IS COMING TO DINE! TIGER, TIGER, YOU DO THE CARVING, YOUR CLAWS ARE SHARPER THAN MINE.THe Aprce TREE - 53 - (BARBARA) SLASH HIM WITH YOUR TEETH! - SMASH HIM WITH YOUR PAWS! ‘BITE HIM AGAIN! BITE HIM AGAIN! HARDER! HARDER! ‘TEAR HIM INTO BITS! RIP HIM INTO SHREDS! SLICE HIM INTO RUBY RIBBONS! TIGER, TIGER, HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY, I'LL CHEER YOU ON FROM THE STANDS. (She has a sudden change of heart) SANJAR SANJAR, WHAT AM I SAYING? TD HAVE YOUR BLOOD ON MY HANDS! ‘YOUR DYING SCREAMS HAUNTING MY DREAMSI AIA the I DON'T WANT HIM DEAD. BETTER DEAD THAN WED! NOBODY ELSE, NOBODY ELSE GETS YOU, SANJAR! HOW CAN I DECIDE? BURIAL OR BRIDE? All THE LADY OR THE TIGER? LADY? TIGER? EACH WAY IS TORTURE! EACH WAY I'M STILL ON THE RACK! SANJAR, SANJAR, BACH WAY I LOSE YOU! BACH WAY IS HOPELESSLY BLACK! HOW CAN I CHOOSE? BACH WAY I LOSE! ‘All Al! AT! AIL (As BARBARA exits, the music blends into the procession: The KING'S MEN and the HANDMAIDENS enter, bringing the throne and the bleachers with them. KING 'ARIK sits om his throne, BARBARA enters douwnstage left. SANJAR is led in by too GUARDS) 1e Higer on— 64 - THE APPLE TREE HANDMAIDENS. MAKE WAY! HE COMES! MAKE WAY! SHE COMES! HIS ROYAL TALLNESS! HER REGAL PROUDNESS! HIS HIGHEST HIGHNESS! HER FLASHING EYE-NESS! HIS WAY, WAY UPNESS! HER SELF-INDULGENES! HIS MOUNTAINSHIP! HER GODDESSNESS! MAKE WAY! HE COMES! MAKE WAY! SHE COMI KING ARIK! PRINCESS BARBARAI (The orchestra vamps as the KING'S MEN and the HANDMAIDENS take their places in the bleachers. Music continues throughout. Surreptitiously, SANJAR slips a note to BARBARA) KING ARIK PRISONER, CHOOSE! IT'S YOUR CHANCE TO PROVE YOUR INNOCENCE OR GUILT! (The COURT silently pantomti SANJAR) es the ritual salute as the lights fade, with a spot on (As SANJAR sings, BARBARA reads kis note, Then, not knowing what to do with it, she crurmples it up and puts it in her mouth) h Doo SANJAR (Stage whisper) Barbara, I know you know which door is which. I saw it in your eyes. Give mea sign! A sign! WHICH DOOR SHOULD 1 CHOOSE? LEFT? RIGHT? LEFT? RIGHT? SHOW MBI GUIDE MB! BARBARA, BARBARA, IXNOW YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE!Tee Appie TREE ao (The COURT momentarily comes alive, jabbering excitedly, then freezes again. BARBARA begins to sing but with the note in her mouth she is unintelligible) BARBARA - WHICH DOOR SHOULD I CHOOSE? LEFT? RIGHT? LEFT? RIGHT? Ee (Takes the paper out of her mouth and throws it away) ‘TORMENT! TORTURE! ‘THE LADY? THE TIGER? st SANJARI SANJAR! ‘THIS CHOICE 1S TEARING ME APART! their places (The spot picks up KING ARIK and slowly the entire COURT, as they join the song) sanote to KING ARIK & CHORUS (In canon) WHICH DOOR WILL HE CHOOSE? LEFT? RIGHT? LEFT? RIGHT? DEAD MAN? WED MAN? ‘THE LADY? THE TIGER? spot on ‘THIS DOOR? THAT DOOR? WHICH DOOR WILL HE CHOOSE? 0 with it, (The COURT does the ritual incantation) CHORUS ‘YEH YEH MANNA! YEH YEH CALLOO! YEH YEH MANNA CALLOO YEH YEH! Brio (Lights fade; spots remain on BARBARA and SANJAR. BARBARA has covered her eyes. Now her hands slowly uncover her eyes. With agonizing deliberateness, she reaches a decision and finally points to a door. The music builds in suspense as SANJAR rises, After a long look at BARBARA, he reaches for the door she has indicated. The entire action freezes as SANJAR opens the door. A spot picks up the BALLADEER as he comes out of the door, with his guitar)cE Tue ApeLe TREE ETT emer BALLADEER BEEORE WE GO ON, LET'S LOOK AT THE PROBLEM: ‘THE LADY OR TIGER— WHICH WILL COME OUT? ‘THE DEEPER WE PROBE ‘THE HEART OF BARBARA, ‘THE MORE WE DISCOVER ‘THE OUTCOME'S IN DOUBT. (The spotlight is also on BARBARA) IF YOU HAVE LOVED, YOU UNDERSTAND HOW LOVE AND HATE CAN WALK HAND IN HAND. SO PLACE YOURSELF IN BARBARA'S SHOES. ‘THE LADY OR THE TIGER WHICH DID SHE CHOOSE? (the spotlight now remains on BARBARA alone. We see by her expression and her ‘gestures that she is in an agony of indecision. On the last note of the accompaniment, there is a blackout) 7 CURTAIN (The houselights stay dim as the orchestra plays an instrumental version of "IN GAUL". This segues into the mini-cverture to "PASSIONELLA")Tue APPLE TREE - 57 - PART I PASSIONELLA (ARomance of the '60s) Based on "Passionella" by Jules Feiéfer Pree Freee [The lights come up on a rooftop showing the New York skyline in the distance. We see large chimney. ELLA is energetically sweeping the chimney with « large brush, accompanied by brisk, cheerful music. She is dressed in old, dirty clothes; her face is ‘smudged with soot stains. The NARRATOR, a dapper man in a tuxedo, stands nearby watching her. The music stops abruptly and ELLA freezes] Peek NARRATOR Ella was a chimney-sweep. ad her (The music resumes and ELLA works energetically, cleaning. The music stops; amiment, freezes) She worked in a big office building downtown. (The musie resumes; ELLA works. The nausic stops; ELLA freezes) | IN But it wasn't what she really wanted to do. (Music begins: "Oh, To Be a Movie Star") #35-Oh, To Be A Movie Star #1 (To the audience) Oh, no. Tm only doing this to make a living. (She climbs dowon from the chimney) NARRATOR ‘As she often tried to tell people.Tur Appie TREE ELLA CHIMNEYS ARE COZY. CHIMOIEYS ARE WARM, THINK OF CHIMNEYS "AS PORTS IN A STORM. “ BUT WARM AND COZY OR NOT, I WOULD GIVE UP THE LOT IFI COULD ONLY BE A MOVIE STAR. A MOVIE STAR! OH, TO BE A MOVIE STAR, A BEAUTIFUL, GLAMOROUS MOVIE STAR (ELLA does several bars ofa clumsy sofi-shoe dance) NO ONE IMAGINES 1 HARBOR THIS HOPE. PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME KEEP SENDING ME SOAP. ‘THEY SEE SOOT-STAINS AND TAR. THEY'D SEE HOW WRONG THEY ARE IF COULD ONLY BE A MOVIE STAR, AMOVIE STAR! (OH, TO BE A MOVIE STAR, A BEAUTIFUL, GLAMOROUS, RADIANT, RAVISHING MOVIE STAR! PTTL DE Lc ae) NARRATOR (Looks at her, then speaks. Music continues under the following) ‘And that was the way Ella passed her days. (ELLA pantomimes going through the streets towards home) Every night after work, she would go home to her lonely furnished room. (ELLA pantomimes climbing fights of stairs and unlocking, then locking her door) She'd rinsé out her chimney brush (She does) and sit all night in front of the TV. (Ghe sits and settles back. The ‘Syncopated Clock’ theme is heard) ‘And she'd think to herself.oor) Tue Apis Tree ELLA YD BE SO GRATEFUL THAT AFTER PREMIERES 'D SWEEP OUT THE THEATRE AND FOLD UP THE CHAIRS. WOULD KNOW WHAT IT MEANT ‘TO BE TRULY CONTENT, IF | COULD ONLY BE A MOVIE STAR, (We hear *The Star Spangled Banner*, ELLA stands reverently for a moment, then urns off the set. Underscoring continues; the lights fade on ELLA) NARRATOR And that's how it was with Ella's life, working by day, dreaming by night. Working— (Work music, Lights come up on ELLA, who crosses to her chimney and works briskly) and dreaming. (Music stops; ELLA goes back to her room and dreams) Working— (Work music; ELLA goes back to the chimney and works) and dreaming, (Music stops; ELLA goes back to her room and dreams) Working— (ELLA shoots an angry look at the NARRATOR, then goes to work on the chimrigy. At the end of this sequence she disappears behind the chimney) ‘Then one day Ella's employer came to her chimney — (The EMPLOYER, a well-dressed man, enters and goes to the chimney) with a sad expression on his face. J (The EMPLOYER'S face falls. He raps on the chimney. We hear ELLA cough) ELLA Don't do that! (She rises to the top of the chimney) ‘Oh, T'm somry, Mr. Fallible, * Pronounced to rhyme with "chairs"Tue APPLE TREE EMPLOYER ‘That's all right, Hila. It's good to know somebody's on the job, not goofing, ELLA - don’t see you in the chimney very often, sir, EMPLOYER- I don’t get out in the field as often as I'd like. Blla, it's difficult to tell you this, but we won't need you after next week. Automation has come to chimney sweeping. I'm sorry. . PER emannuee! NARRATOR Ella was unemployed. EMPLOYER You can keep the brushes, (He leaves, taking the chimney with kim) NARRATOR For weeks Ella wandered the streets, looking for work. (ELLA wanders the streets) But nowhere was a good old-fashioned craftswoman needed. Winter came. (She bends into the wind and storm. The NARRATOR sprinkles her with snow) She began to go hungry. (She pantomimes hunger. The NARRATOR sprinkles her with more snow) She began to fade away. ~ (ELLA sneezes. He sprinkles her with more snow) ELLA Don't do that! NARRATOR ‘Television was her only escape. DECREE eerie eed (ELLA enters her root) ELLA PROSPECTS LOOK DISMAL, HOW CANIGO ON?Tue Appue TREE ae (ELLA) (Picks up her piggy-bank, shakes it, turns it upside down) My PIGGY IS EMPTY, = (Reaches into her empty Kleenex box) MY KLEENEX I5 GONE, : IF ISTARVE HERE ALONE, LET THEM CARVE ON MY STONE "SHE NEVER GOT TO BE A MOVIE STAR ig mauch, I's not as if I wanted to be a rich, beautiful, glamorous movie star. Or even a well-liked beautiful, glamorous movie star. [just want to be a Deautiful, glamorous movie star for its own sake. ‘A BEAUTIFUL, GLAMOROUS, RADIANT, RAVISHING Tm not ash (Sneezes) MOOOVIE STAR! Exits) NARRATOR From the time she arrived home 'til the time she fell asleep, her eyes never wandered from the screen. Then one evening — (ELLA returns to her room [in actuality it is ELLA'S double] and switches on the TV. She sits in the armchair) it was the night of the full moon — Ella feturned from a thankless day of job- ‘hunting, tured on the TV set — and there was no picture. (We hear the v system) of the-actress who plays ELLA from offstage or over the sound ELLA No picture! No picture! No picture! NARRATOR No picture, Stunned, disbelieving, she sat before the TV. J Her eyes searched the screen for the trace of an image. Then, Ella heard a voice, UBT ore (Electronic blips are heard as the TV glows weirdly) Hello, out there! This is your friendly neighborhood godmother! The program usually scheduled for this hour will not be seen. Instead, I have the pleasure to bring you the answer to your most cherished dream. Plink! (A harp glissando and a flash of light) Plank!Tue AppLe TREE (NARRATOR) (Another glissando, another flash Plunk! (A final glissando. The lights black out. There is a blinding flash from the TV set. The ‘music hits a dramatic lima. When the stage is visible again, ELLA has been. transformed into the beautfi, glamorous PASSIONELLA, As she sees the changeit herself she screams with delight, Music begins: "Gorgeous") PASSIONELLA LOOK AT MBIT AM GORGEOUS! TAM ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS! HERE'S THIS AVALANCHE OF BEAUTY IN ONE WOMAN AND I'M It ‘LOOK AT THE WAY ALL OF THE PARTS FIT TOGETHER! ‘SEE THE WAY MY NOSE STOPPED RUNNING! 1WAS POSITIVE ‘THIS CREATURE WAS THERE INSIDE THE OLD ME, ALL BOTTLED UP WAITING TO GET FREE! NOW I SEE THE REAL ME! LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THAT! LOOK AT THOSE! LET ME JUST FEBL ME ~ BEAUTIFUL, GLAMOROUS, RADIANT, RAVISHING! LOOK AT THE HAIR! LOOK AT THE SHAPE! LOOK EVERYWHERE! TAM SUCH A DIVINE ME. EVERY STUDIO WILL SIGN ME. MY CUP RUNNETH OVER. WHO EVER SAW SUCH A COMPLETE WOW? NOBODY COULD SAY NO TO ME NOW!THE APPLE TREE Smo (PASSIONELLA) NO ONE ~ IS AS— GORGEOUS — ASTAM! _ et, The NARRATOR (The weird music begins again, PASSIONELLA returns to the TV set) nge in " But be warned, my child. Teer nee) Your frienclly neighborhood godmother has power only from Huntley-Brinkley* to the Late Late Show. During those hours you shall be ravishing. You shall be Passionella. But only during those hours PASSIONELLA ‘And the rest of the day? NARRATOR The rest of the day, my dear, you shall be your usual sooty self. This is your friendly neighborhood godmother returning you to your local network. PASSIONELLA Thave not a moment to lose! NARRATOR Said Ella. And off she ran to El Morocco. (PASSIONELLA leaves her room. The room rolls off and a motley group of SUBWAY PASSENGERS enters. The ‘subway car! stops and PASSIONELLA gets on. All heads furn to her. As the group sings, the ‘car’ crosses the stage.) #43 — Who GROUP WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO 1s SHE? J WHO IS THIS RAVISHING SIGHT WITH HER FANTASY FACE, - HER STAGGERING SMILE, HER INDESCRIBABLE BUST? WHO IS SHE? * Optional alternalTue AppLe TREE (GROUP) SHE MUST BE SOMEONE ALL RIG} BUT WHO CAN SHE BE? Hl (Turning to one another) Do You KNOW? | (To the NARRATOR) | Do You? NARRATOR eon | prom = | een eo eee ee a fl eee rere oa aac eres | (The car stops) I ‘TELL US WHO YOU ARE, MA‘AM. ‘TELL US WHO YOU ARE, MA‘AM. | PASSIONELLA | TM PASSIONELLAL GROUP PASSIONELLA? | TERT IAIN PASSIONELLA! THATS WHO T AMI (PASSIONELLA steps out of the subony car) GROUP (As they exit) ‘THAT'S WHO SHE AMI (PASSIONELLA crosses to the El Morocco doorman, who bous her into El Morocco. ‘The GROUP immediately re-enters as PATRONS of El Morocco)Tue APPLE TREE (GROUP) WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO, WHO 1S SHE: (The orchestra continues the theme, A MAN enters and goes fo PASSIONELLA) oS MAN Iam a famous motion picture producer. Come to my office and Iwill sign you to a lifetime contract. rere) (PHOTOGRAPHERS snap, flashbulbs pop; PASSIONELLA poses. A magazine cover with PASSIONELLA'S picture on it flies in) NARRATOR In the following months, a new star was born, the mysterious, bewitching Passionella, A legend grew around her: how she would only allow her films to be shot between the hours of Huntley-Brinkley* and the Late Late Show. And as the mystery grew so did her popularity. Her pictures set new attendance records. Her life became a ceaseless round of public appearances marked by frenzied adoration. Yes, Passionella had arrived! (As the magazine cover fies out, a huge, brightly lit *PASSIONELLA" sign flies in, {filling the stage from sie to sie) Ee PASSIONELLA LOOK AT MEITM A MOVIE STAR, EVERY INCH A MOVIE STAR! . | A BEAUTIFUL, GLAMOROUS— ” our MEN enter) MAN1 J oH * Or: The Six-o'clock NewsTue AprLe Tae MEN |ONELLA, HOW I LOVE YOU! PASSIONELLA KNOW. MEN IF YOU KNEW HOW I ADORE YOU! PASSIONELLA KNOW. MAN 4 I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT FOR ‘THINKING ABOUT YOU! PASSIONELLA IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE, MAN 1 WANT YOU! MAN 2 IWANT YOU! MEN TWANT YOU! PASSIONELLA IT MUST BE AWFUL. MAN 3 DID YOU KNOW I STOLE YOUR SLIPPERS? PASSIONELLA MEN PICTURES OF YOU FILL MY BEDROOM. PASSIONELLA MINE, TOO. MEN DON'T LOVE SOPHIA. I DON'T LOVE BARDOT. 1 LOVE PASSIONELLALTHe AppLe TREE PASSIONELLA, Iinow. (Four YOUNG WOMEN enter). WwoMEN | PASSIONELLA, YOURE MY DOKI i, PASSIONBLLA iF oF cours : WOMAN 1 | HOW ILONG 0 LOOK LIKE YOU Do! ia PASSIONELLA | E ‘YOU SHOULD. WOMAN 2 T'VE READ EVERY WORD ij THEY'VE PRINTED ABOUT YOU. | PASSIONELLA if YOURE NOT THE ONLY ONE. i WOMEN | IN PRIVATE, | YOU ARE ME, TAM YOU! PASSIONELLA i ‘THAT'S WHAT IM HERE FOR, i MAN 1 & WOMAN 1 AS A GODDESS, YOU'RE IMMORTAL! MAN 2 & WOMAN 2 GODDESS, YOU'RE IMMORTAL (amen) MAN 3 & WOMAN 3 YOURE IMMORTAL! j i MAN 4 & WOMAN 4 7 MORTAL! i ALL ont 4 PASSIONELLA (Spoken) ‘That's:Tue APPLE TREE ALL LET ME TOUCH YOUR SACRED BODY! ou! _ SSIONELLA (Spoken, disturbed) Well— ALL WEILL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING, PASSIONELLA, EVERYWHERE YOU GO, PASSIONELLAL YOU CANNOT ESCAPE US! BEAUTIFUL, INCREDIBLE, EXTRAORDINARY PASSIONELLA NARRATOR But — was Passionella happy? Now that she had wealth, fame, fans, success, glamor and excitement— was she truly content? Let us hear the answer in her own words. PASSIONELLA, Ian' this what I wanted? Inn't this what we all want? (The MEN and WOMEN exit as PASSIONELLA sings) WEALTH. HOW DELICIOUS TO BE SURROUNDED BY THE COMFORTS AND LUXURIES ‘THAT I'VE NEVER KNOWN BEFORE. FAME... 'M.A FIGURE OF WORLD IMPORTANCE. I'M THE CENTER OF EVERY CROWD. WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE? FANS, FANS, FANS, FANS, FANS! WHEN I SEE MY ADORING PUBLIC, I REMEMBER THE GIRL I WAS, ALL ALONE AND ON THE SHELE,69 THE Aprie Tres (PASSIONELLA) SUCCESS .. IWAS NOTHING AND NOW I’M SOMETHING. = 1AM ENVIED BY EVERYONE. ENVY ME MYSELF! GLAMOR AND EXCITEMENT .. LUCKY ME, A MOVIE STAR! I WAS MADE FOR CAVIAR AND THAT'S WHAT I'VE GOT... MY LIFE 1S EXACTLY WHAT I WISHED FOR, SO OF COURSE { I MUST BE TRULY CONTENT BUT IM NOT. t ‘What does it all mean if I cannot have love? Oh, how hollow is all this beauty without the right man to share it with. NARRATOR (During the following, another magazine cover flies in with a picture of FLIP on it) And then one night, Passionella met the right man, She met him at a star-studded benefit for a new disease that had recently been discovered by the pharmaceutical industry. This man, a celebrated recording star, who combined the outspoken fervor of Patrick Henzy, the barbaric yawp of Walt Whitman, the swashbuckling elegance of Errol Flynn, the skeptical toughness of Bogart, the rugged earthiness of Brando, | the sulky masculinity of Presley, the simple humanity of Roy Rogers, the zany vitality of the Beatles, the compassionate arrogance of Bob Dylan and the hairstyle of Bleanor Roosevelt, had spoken to the hearts of discontented Americans everywhere. In short, he was the idol of millions: Flip, the Prince, Charming, Bao (As the magazine cover flies out, FLIP enters on a motorcycle, His ADMIRERS follow him in) For Passionella, it was love at first sight. FLIP You dig Brecht man? PASSIONELLA Who-ch?Tur AppLe TREE NARRATOR Beauty did not interest ip FLIP - You dig Andy Warhol? PASSIONELLA . Who? Who? NARRATOR Glamor didnot interest Fp, FLIP You dig Hasley-Davidson? PASSIONELLA (Looking around in confusion) Who? Who? Who? i NARRATOR | Only one thing interested Fip FLIP | Reality, man. Truth. Soul. No woman is gonna crack my soul without she is real. Somewhere she waits down there in the muck, close to the soil, among, the real people. Real! ADMIRERS || Real! iI NARRATOR Reall | PASSIONELLA I But Taam zeal! FLIP Dear lady, Iam not getting through. Let me draw you a picture. | 1s (He fishes a microphone out of his pocket and sings into if) (NOTE: In this song, FLIP pronounces every "alike the "a" in *ace") Eee ‘THE NEWSPAPERS CALL YOU ‘THE GODDESS OF. IF YOU ARE A GODDESS, TM OEDIPUS REX.(Closing in Tee Appre Tree (BLIP) NEITHER GODDESS NOR WOMAN, ‘YOU'RE SOMETHING APART, WITH A CINERAMA BODY AND A CELLULOID HEART. INSTEAD OF A SOUL, YOU GOT ASIGN, SAYIN' DECOR BY HELENA RUBENSTEIN. FLIP & ADMIRERS HOW DOES IT FEEL ‘TO BE THE WORLD'S IDEAL, WHEN YOU KNOW AN' I KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT REAL, REAL, REAL, YOU ARE NOT REAL. FLIP ‘THE SONS OF OLD ADAM HAS REASON TO GRIEVE SINCE WE TOOK A LOOK AT ‘YOU DAUGHTERS OF EVE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HONEST, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S TRUE. YLL TELL YOU WHAT'S REAL, IT'S THE LEAST I KIN DO. DIRTY FINGERNAILS IS REAL. AN STRAG-GA-LY HAIR AN’ SLOVENLY CLOTHES AN’ A AIR OF DESPAIR FLIP & ADMIRERS on PASSIONELLA) HOW DOBS IT FEEL TO BE THE WORLD'S IDEAL, WHEN YOU KNOW AN' I KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT REAL, REAL, REAL! YOU ARE NOT REAL, FLIP YM A-WEARY OF GLAMORTee Appie Tree (FLIP) AN! WOMEN LIKE YOU. TLONG FOR A WOMAN WHO'S REAL THROUGH AN’ THROUGH No GODDESS WEE EVER Z GEPMY HEART TO THROB, J FOR THE GIRL-OF MY DREAMS | TSASLOB, ' i FLIP & NARRATOR | (OH, HOW DOES IT FEEL 70 BE THE WORLDS DEAL, L | WHEN YOU KNOW AN! KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT REAL FLIP & ADMIRERS HOW DOES IT FEEL | ‘TO BE THE WORLD'S IDEAL, | WHEN YOU KNOW AN' I KNOW | THAT YOU ARE NOT REAL~ | | YOU ARE NOT— | YOU ARE NOT— REAL! PASSIONELLA. But if | am not real, how can I become real? FLIP ‘Dear lady, you're an actress. Learn to act! | (He and his ADMIRERS exit) NARRATOR Inall er years as an acess, no one ad ever suggested that Pasionela shout fe That very nigh Pssionela spoke tothe head of ber stad. ZI CU eee (The PRODUCER appears behind his desk) PASSIONELLA. Tam tired of being a cardboard figure on a tinsel background. NARRATOR She said.Tue Appe Tree aa PRODUCER on? _ NARRATOR Said the studio head PASSIONELLA year to portray one of the real people. NARRATOR She said PRODUCER oh NARRATOR | Said the studio head, | PASSIONELLA | ee \ NARRATOR | She said PRODUCER | On! NARRATOR ee eee ee ee | it ; PASSIONELLA | eT cannot play a chimney-sweep, I shall retire from the screen. | (exits) | NARRATOR So the studio gave in ald act. ce CEB ee (The PRODUCER holds his head in his hands, Blackout. The Producer and his desk exit) "The Chimney-Sweep", a touching tale of simple people, was budgeted as a forty million dollar production. NEWSBOY Enters carrying newspapers) Extra! Extral Glamor Girl to portray Chimney-Sweey own chimneys! assionella will sweep all herTae ApPLE TREE NARRATOR Said the World-Journal-Herald-Globe-Eagle, Then came the most astonishing ae uncement ofall: Passionella had insisted on a daytime shooting schedule! The entive fee world, with the excéption of France, reeled back stunned. On the fist day St shooting, the eyes of six continents fastened on a secluded set in the Hollywood hills : (The lights come up op @ Hollywood set, There isa chimney and a movie camera, The ENSEMBLE enters as part of the film crewo) Half a state had gathered to see the new Passionella arrive at the studio. STAGEHAND Here comes the car! (General ub-bub, ELLA enters wearing a huge cloak. She throws it off and the CROWD gasps. She is costumed as ELLA, the chimney-sweep we sat at the beginning ofthe piece. She crosses to the chimney and begins stoeeping) PRODUCER (Moved) Marvelous! Not since Sarah Bernhardt! NARRATOR Cried the producer. DIRECTOR (Equalty moved) “This is sheer folk art NARRATOR Cried the director REPORTER (Weeping) ‘Atlast, movies have come of age! NARRATOR Cried the film critic for The New Republic. WOMEN MEN MOVIE STAR, LIKE A SHINING LIGHT OF TRUTH EVERY INCH A MOVIE STAR! SHE STANDS.THE APPLE TREE ALL shing ‘THIS TRULY REMARKABLE, aeeetel The SENSITIVE, LUMINOUS ie day MOVIE STAR! = (As the applause diminishes, ELLA exits. So does EVERYONE else, tnking the chimney ee with ther) - eerres Ter Renee (A large golden replin of the ‘Oscar’ rolls out, FLIP rides out with it. (Alternatively, a section ofa gold curtain descends, or something equally opulent, that suggests the Cone ‘Acatlemy Atoards,] An elegant podium slides on, FLIP, who is chewing gum, takes it he beginning ‘out ofhis mouth and sticks it somewhere ors the podium) FLIP May Ihave the envelope please, monkey? (A STARLET enters; she hands FLIP en ‘Oscar! and an envelope. They hug; she exits. [if the cast is too small fo provide the starlet, the NARRATOR gives him the Oscar an the envelope] FLIP opens the envelope) “And the winner, for her performance in "The Chimney Sweep" — Passionella! (Gurprised and thrilled, PASSIONELLA screams, We henr tremendous cheering and applause as PASSIONELLA enters down a theatre aisle) PASSIONELLA (Ad lb, hysterical with joy) I won! I won! The Oscar! I don't believe it! (fo the audience, as she makes her way to the stage) Hove you! Tove you! I won! I won! (When she gets to the podium, the cheering fades. Ske is laughing and sobbing, hardly able to control herself) Ladies and gentlemen — excuse me — this s the happiest — Inever imagined — Tmesony (Making a remarkable recvery, she is suddenly calm and composed) ae ‘Thank you. I would like to share this award with the real people everywhere — the plumbers, bus-boys, tash collectors, the Roto-rooter people — you know whe you are, And I would like to thank my producer and director for their faith and encouragement. But most of all ~ (Looks at FLIP, begins fo choke up)Tuy AppLe Tree (PASSIONELLA) most of all — (She is too moved to continue) Forgive me (mn control, once more) : Most ofall, I would like to thank Ms. Charming, whose humanity and wisdom has been my constant inspiration. (Humbly) Flip, am [real now? Passionella, [love you, man. (She gasps audibly) Will you marry me? PASSIONELLA (Overcome) Oh, Flip! The Oscar and you! I must be the happiest movie star in the whole world! (Laughs hysterically, then turns back to FLIP) Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Ill marry you! (They embrace and exit) CE kere NARRATOR (Watches them exit, then speaks) ‘Dreamy-eyed, the two lovers went home, where, alone at last, they passed the nigh making tender love in front of the television set. (We are in PASSIONELLA'S home in Bel Air. A section of an unusually long, elegant couch slides on from the stage right wing. It faces a TV set. PASSIONELLA and FLIP [that is, their doubles], dressed as we last saw them, are watching a program. We see their backs. They begin to embrace and sink down out of sight) ‘And ther: That completes our day's programming. This is your Late Late show signing off. It was four AM. (We see PASSIONELLA'S back as she sits bol upright) Passionella was aghast! And then — Plink! (A harp glisado and a flash of light) PlankTue AppLe Tree (NARRATOR) (Another glissando, another flash) Plunk! {A final glissando; a huge flash; lights black owt. When the lights restore, ELLA comes out from behind the couch, dressed as she was at the beginning. Ske looks about, mm has apprehensively) - ELLA | Flip? — Flip? — Flip? (From behind the couch, FLIP appears. He is a mousy, shy man dressed neatly in sweater and slacks, with his hair neatly combed. He climbs over the couch. He and ELLA see each other and cry out in surprise. They laugh and giggle, | (Music begins: a reprise of the "Eden Theme") CEE ome FLIP world! Were you ...? (He pantomimes PASSIONELLA'S large bosons) ELLA (Nods " Yes") Were you...? (She pantomimes FLIP'S huge head of hair) FLIP (Nods *Yes*) night Imagine that. elegant aFQIP Inever would have guessed. see know. know. (sings) HERE WE ARE, ‘THE STAR.pur AppLe TREE FLIP AND THE STAR ELLA WELL, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW. FLIP Ws WERE SOME PAIR, MB WITH MY CRAZY HAIR ELLA : WITH MY SOLID GOLD GOWN. FLIP War's YOUR NAME ELLA (pests) ila, Whats yours? (Sings) GEORGE L. BROWN. ELLA (Speaks) Oh, Love brown! (Slowly and shyly, they move fowards one another) NARRATOR ‘and they lived happily ever after (ELLA and GEORGE walk upstage face sacs other and kiss shyly. ELLA interrupts the iss otha snzcze; then they resunne te Kis) CURTAIN Prepac