Grammar for College Writing

For Jenny, a model for all that is good to imitate, with love.
—Don

“I wanted to write, and I did not even know the English language. I bought
English grammars and found them dull. I felt that I was getting a better sense of
the language from novels than grammars.”
—Richard Wright, Black Boy

*******
“Perhaps it is time to return to grammar [through novels and other literature].”
—C. S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia
 Grammar for
College Writing
A Sentence-Composing Approach—
A Student Worktext

DON and JENNY KILLGALLON

Boynton/Cook Publishers
HEINEMANN
Portsmouth, NH
Heinemann
361 Hanover Street
Portsmouth, NH 03801–3912
www.boyntoncook.com

Offices and agents throughout the world

© 2010 Don and Jenny Killgallon

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any
electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems,
without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may
quote brief passages in a review.

“Dedicated to Teachers” is a trademark of Greenwood Publishing Group, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Killgallon, Don.
Grammar for college writing : a sentence-composing approach : a student
worktext / Don and Jenny Killgallon.
p. cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-86709-602-6
ISBN-10: 0-86709-602-0
1. English language—Grammar—Problems, exercises, etc. 2. English
language—Sentences—Problems, exercises, etc. 3. English language—Rhetoric—
Problems, exercises, etc. 4. Report writing—Problems, exercises, etc.
I. Killgallon, Jenny. II. Title.
PE1413.K456 2010
428.2076—dc22 2009038590

Editor: Lisa Luedeke

Production: Elizabeth Valway
Cover design: Shawn Girsberger
Composition: House of Equations, Inc.
Manufacturing: Steve Bernier

Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper

14 13 12 11 10 ML 1 2 3 4 5
 “If the new grammar is to be brought to bear on composition, it must be brought
to bear on the rhetoric of the sentence. . . . With hundreds of handbooks and
rhetorics to draw from I have never been able to work out a program for teaching
the sentence as I find it in the work of contemporary writers.”
—Francis Christensen, “A Generative Rhetoric of the Sentence”

*******
To the memory of Francis Christensen, the first to see the light:
Christensen’s life’s work made possible this “program for teaching the sentence
as [it is found] in the work of contemporary writers.” We are deeply grateful to
him, our silent partner, for helping us work out the program found in the
sentence-composing approach.
—Don and Jenny Killgallon
 Contents

Acknowledgments xi

PREVIEW: THE SENTENCE-COMPOSING APPROACH 1

A merging of grammar, composition, and literature, the sentence-composing approach
uses authors as mentors in an apprenticeship in sentence carpentry. Through that
approach, you will learn the grammatical tools authors use to build their sentences.
Here, you’ll learn more.

ADDITIONS: TOOLS FOR ELABORATION 5

The most important part of sentences isn’t the subject, isn’t the predicate. It’s
the additions, the sentence parts that add more information about the subject,
the predicate, or both. Here, you’ll see why.

IMITATION: A STEP TO CREATION 17

A widespread learning method, imitation helps you build better sentences through
analyzing then imitating model sentences by authors. Here, you’ll study how.

THE SENTENCE-COMPOSING TOOLBOX

“Good writing is about making good choices when it comes to

picking the tools you plan to work with.”
Stephen King, On Writing

NOUN GROUP: THE NAMING TOOLS

Previewing the Noun Tools 23
Nouns name someone or something. Noun tools enhance writing by providing
detail and elaboration.
APPOSITIVE PHRASE 29
Composition: Technical Paper 33
GERUND PHRASE 35
Composition: Gerund Poem 40
INFINITIVE PHRASE 43
Composition: Resume 47
NOUN CLAUSE 49
Composition: Political Speech 53
Reviewing the Noun Tools 57

vii
 Contents

VERB GROUP: THE NARRATING TOOLS

Previewing the Verb Tools 61
Verbs narrate an action, incident, event, or process. Sometimes skillful writers use
a series of verbs within a sentence, or place a verb before its subject rather than
after it.
MULTIPLE VERB 67
Composition: Cinematic Paragraph 71
INVERTED VERB 73
Composition: Photographic Paragraph 77
Reviewing the Verb Tools 79

ADJECTIVE GROUP: THE DESCRIBING TOOLS

Previewing the Adjective Tools 83
Adjectives describe someone or something. Adjective tools help readers virtually see,
hear, feel, taste, or touch images.
OPENING AND DELAYED ADJECTIVES 93
Composition: Travel Essay 97
PARTICIPIAL PHRASE 101
Composition: Action Paragraph 107
PREPOSITIONAL PHRASE (adjectival) 109
Composition: Descriptive Paragraph 114
INFINITIVE PHRASE (adjectival) 115
Composition: Advertisement 119
ABSOLUTE PHRASE (adjectival) 121
Composition: Sports Report 126
ADJECTIVE CLAUSE 129
Composition: Jigsaw Puzzle Paper 133
Reviewing the Adjective Tools 137

ADVERB GROUP: THE EXPLAINING TOOLS

Previewing the Adverb Tools 141
Adverbs explain when, where, how, or why something happened. Adverb tools
provide more information for readers.
OPENING AND DELAYED ADVERBS 149
Composition: Performance Review 153

viii
 Contents

PREPOSITIONAL PHRASE (adverbial) 157

Composition: Presidential Paragraph 162
INFINITIVE PHRASE (adverbial) 165
Composition: A Great Start 170
ABSOLUTE PHRASE (adverbial) 173
Composition: Creative Narrative 178
ADVERB CLAUSE 181
Composition: Jigsaw Puzzle Paper 185
Reviewing the Adverb Tools 191

REVIEWING THE SENTENCE-COMPOSING TOOLBOX 195

This activity reviews all the sentence-composing tools and emphasizes two features
of many well-built sentences: two or more of the same or different tools within a
sentence.
MULTIPLE TOOLS 195
Composition: Magazine Article 207
MIXED TOOLS 211
Composition: News Report 221

ADDITIONS: TOOLS FOR BETTER WRITING 223

Perhaps now you know that grammar is easy and good and useful for building
better sentences—and better writing. Now put the sentence-composing tools to
work in a longer paper (750–1,000 words).
Composition: Process Essay 223

“Grammar is a piano I play by ear:

all I know about grammar is its power.”
—Joan Didion, writer

ix
 Acknowledgments

We thank the hundreds of authors—mentors in this apprenticeship in sentence

composing—whose model sentences transform literature into a legacy of lessons,
providing for students voices of enduring value, voices that will help them
discover their own.

xi
 Preview: The Sentence-Composing Approach

A Merger of Grammar, Composition, and Literature

Grammar is easy. Grammar is good. Even though those sentences are stylistically
anemic, they are the most important sentences in this book. Keep them in mind.
If you think—perhaps because of negative associations in your earlier schooling—
that grammar is useless and hard, substitute those two little sentences. Then,
through the varied practices in this worktext using grammatical tools, you will
learn to build better sentences than you’ve ever written, built like those of
authors. Grammar, then, is useful.

“English grammar is so interesting because it is so simple.”

—Gertrude Stein, avant-garde author

Although grammar is easy and good, writing is good, but isn’t easy. How can
something easy, like grammar, make something difficult, like writing, easier?

“Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper

[or a blank screen] until drops of blood form on your forehead.”
—Gene Fowler, writer

Since writing unfolds one sentence at a time, learning to build better sen-
tences—the goal of Grammar for College Writing: A Sentence-Composing Approach—
makes writing easier. It does so by giving you mentors in sentence composing,
authors like Stephen King, J. K. Rowling, Ernest Hemingway, Toni Morrison, Ian
McEwan, Jhumpa Lahiri, Barack Obama, James Joyce, Mitch Albom, Stephenie
Meyers, John Steinbeck, Ray Bradbury, and hundreds more who serve as your
mentors in your apprenticeship in building better sentences. Their sentences, the
basis for all the practices in this worktext, reveal the tools they use to build those
sentences. The practices in this worktext teach those tools. Through literary sen-
tences as models for grammatical tools, you will learn the sentence in the story,
and the story in the sentence, linking grammar, composition, and literature.
Zooming in on literary sentences in your reading creates a user’s guide to sen-
tence carpentry for building better sentences.

“Jack Kerouac probably learned how to construct his astonishing

sentences through his extensive reading: he haunted the local library,
gobbling down everything he could get his hands on.”
—Kitty Burns Florey, Sister Bernadette’s Barking Dog

1
 Preview: The Sentence-Composing Approach

The heart of this worktext, the sentence-composing toolbox, contains tools

used frequently by authors, infrequently by many students—grammatical struc-
tures easy to learn, practice, and use to build better sentences through the sen-
tence-composing approach used in thousands of classrooms, from elementary
school through college. That approach uses, systematically and exclusively, model
sentences by authors for practices in building better sentences.
It works mainly through imitation. Think about how you learned to pitch a
baseball, sew a button, do the latest dance, style your hair, tie a tie, shave your
face, make a bed, or almost anything. Probably someone demonstrated how to do
it. In this worktext, authors demonstrate how you can build better sentences by
using the same tools they do.
Most authors learned to write through reading and imitating, at least to a cer-
tain extent. You’ll go through a similar process in the practices in this worktext.

“It is by imitation, far more than by precept, that we learn everything.”

—Edmund Burke, author

Imitating examines authors’ sentences under a microscope, where you can see,
clearly and easily, their parts, arrangements, and relationships to each other.
Through imitation, that magnification is an enormous help in demonstrating that
good sentences are composed carefully, not written spontaneously. Good writers
don’t write the way they speak, or speak the way they write. Good writers build
sentences; they don’t say them.

“I am sick to death of the wide gap of embarrassing

differences between my writing and speaking voices!”
—J. D. Salinger, “Hapworth 16, 1924”

You’ll begin your apprenticeship in building better sentences by first learning

how to imitate sentences of authors, and then opening the sentence-composing
toolbox to learn the tools authors use to build their sentences.
Writing unfolds one sentence at a time. Sentences unfold one part at a time.
Good sentences are the result of good sentence parts. Good sentence parts are the
result of sentence-composing tools like the ones authors use, those in this
worktext, an indispensable collection for mastering sentence carpentry.

2
 Preview: The Sentence-Composing Approach

“Read, read, read. Read everything, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who
works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write.”
—William Faulkner, novelist

Learning, practicing, and especially using the tools of sentence carpentry are
the purposes of Grammar for College Writing: A Sentence-Composing Approach. Study
how the master carpenters—the hundreds of authors in this worktext—use those
tools. Fill your toolbox with their tools. Then write.

3
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

How many sentence parts do sentences need? Sentences need two: a subject and a
predicate. How many sentence parts do almost all sentences have? Sentences have
three, a subject, predicate, and additions.
As almost everyone realizes, the two required parts are a subject and a predi-
cate. Not much to say there. A subject is the topic of the sentence, and a predicate
is a comment about that topic.
As almost no one realizes, those two parts are almost never the most impor-
tant. The most important parts are the additions, which are the sentence parts
that carry most of the sentence’s meaning, providing more information about
the subject, the predicate, or both. Because additions generate sentence power
through elaboration, most authors’ sentences but relatively few students’ sen-
tences contain them. This worktext aims at bridging that gap by zooming in on
those additions, which are the sentence parts that expand, amplify, deepen the
meaning within a sentence. Additions are the tools that all skillful writers use to
build their sentences. Those tools are the focus of this worktext, Grammar for
College Writing: A Sentence-Composing Approach.
Contrast the pairs of sentences below. In each pair, the first sentence has just
two sentence parts: subject and predicate. The second sentence in each pair, the
original sentence by J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, uses addi-
tions (in boldface) for elaboration. Think of subjects and predicates as just the
frame for a picture, and think of the additions, far more important than the
frame, as the picture.

SUBJECT AND PREDICATE ADDITIONS

Dudley turned to Harry. Dudley, who was so large his bottom
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and drooped over either side of the
the Chamber of Secrets kitchen chair, turned to Harry.

The troll was advancing on her. The troll was advancing on her, knock-
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and ing the sinks off the wall as it went.
the Sorcerer’s Stone

Then they visited the Apothecary. Then they visited the Apothecary,
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and which was fascinating enough to
the Sorcerer’s Stone make up for its horrible smell, a mix-
ture of bad eggs and rotted cabbages.

5
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

They studied Red Caps. They studied Red Caps, the nasty little
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and goblinlike creatures that lurked
the Prisoner of Azkaban wherever there had been bloodshed,
in the dungeons of castles, in the
potholes of deserted battlefields,
waiting to bludgeon those who had
gotten lost.

Harry sat motionless in his chair. Harry sat motionless in his chair,
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and stunned by the serpent’s stare.
the Chamber of Secrets

She flicked her wand. She flicked her wand, casually, at the
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and dishes in the sink, which began to
the Chamber of Secrets clean themselves, clinking gently in
the background.

The snake slithered. Enraged, hissing furiously, the snake

J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and slithered straight toward Justin Finch-
the Chamber of Secrets Fletchley, its fangs exposed, poised
to strike.

The snake raised its head. Slowly, very slowly, the snake raised
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and its head until its eyes were on a level
the Sorcerer’s Stone with Harry’s.

Neville hobbled off with Madame Hooch. His face tear-streaked, clutching his
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and wrist, Neville hobbled off with
the Sorcerer’s Stone Madame Hooch, who had her arm
around him.

Harry watched. Harry watched, amazed, as a portly

J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and ghost approached the table, crouched
the Chamber of Secrets low, and walked through it, his mouth
held wide so that it passed through
one of the stinking salmon.

6
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

Professor Dumbledore was standing Professor Dumbledore was standing by

by the mantelpiece. the mantelpiece, beaming, near Profes-
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and sor McGonagall, who was taking great
the Chamber of Secrets gasps, clutching her chest.

He got to his feet. Dizzy, covered in soot, he got to his

J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and feet, gingerly, holding his broken
the Chamber of Secrets glasses up to his eyes.

Dobby stood. Cowering behind, his legs wrapped

J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and heavily in bandages, Dobby stood.
the Chamber of Secrets

Snape smirked. Snape smirked as he swept off around

J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the dungeon, not spotting Seamus
the Chamber of Secrets Finnigan, who was pretending to
vomit into his cauldron.

Clearly, the additions, not the subjects and predicates, create well-built sen-
tences. J. K. Rowling, the author of the sentences, whose Harry Potter series has
sold over 400 million books so far, would not have made publishing history with
just subjects and predicates. With only them and nothing else, J. K. Rowling
would have sold none of her books. With subjects, predicates, and additions, the
books made history.
Forget subjects and predicates. Emphasize tools instead—for additions, for build-
ing better sentences through elaboration—sentences like those of J. K. Rowling and,
in the next activity and throughout the rest of this worktext, many other authors.

“Composition is essentially a process of addition.”

—Francis Christensen, the pioneering linguist whose work kindled
the sentence-composing approach

The following activity emphasizes two qualities of well-written sentences. The

first is additions, which means inserting sentence parts for elaboration and variety.
The second is positions, which means varying the places within the sentence where
those additions occur.

7
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

Directions: Below are thirty stripped-down sentences, minus additions. Put the
additions back into the sentences, in any effective positions. Then, a second time,
put them back into different places. Use commas where needed.

Example:
The grass was high.
a. around the old gravestones
b. unattended
E. L. Doctorow, The Waterworks

Two Acceptable Arrangements:

1a. Around the gravestones, the grass, unattended, was high.
1b. Unattended, the grass around the gravestones was high.
(Other acceptable arrangements are possible.)

1. I awoke.
a. feeling able to talk to him
b. finally
Octavia E. Butler, Kindred

2. Gramps had been thrown out of high school for misbehavior.

a. punching the principal in the nose
b. by the age of fifteen
Barack Obama, Dreams from My Father

3. You know that you read.

a. actively
b. when you’ve finished reading a book
c. if the pages are filled with your notes
Mortimer Adler, “How to Mark a Book”

4. Sandy Glass smiled most.

a. brimming with the irrepressible joy of his own intelligence
b. cheerful
c. when he was angry
Allegra Goodman, Intuition

8
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

5. Burnham demanded.
a. that the steward return to the wireless room for an explanation
b. footsore and irritable
Eric Larson, The Devil in the White City

6. He rolled up his shirt and placed it under his head.

a. tilting it just enough for the rain to flow down about his face
b. to keep the rain out of his nose
Edward P. Jones, The Known World

7. The girls hovered around her.

a. after their father’s death
b. watched everything she did, followed her through the house
Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping

8. Joy leapt in his father’s heart for his son.

a. thirsty for knowledge
b. who was quick to learn
Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

9. He liked shooting things.

a. and wrestling with his father
b. hammering things, smashing things
Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex

10. They stood.

a. in the gathering shadows
b. in front of the barracks
c. while their American friend came forward
Tracy Kidder, Mountains Beyond Mountains

11. They stood in the dead city

a. a heap of boys
b. daring each other in shrieky whispers
c. their hiking lunches half devoured
Ray Bradbury, The Martian Chronicles

9
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

12. Her father carried the water.

a. through the kitchen door outside
b. slowly and carefully
c. taking oddly small steps
Jhumpa Lahiri, Unaccustomed Earth

13. Maier Christian sat.

a. and examined his forest plan
b. on a log in the sun
c. his boots half-buried in slushy snow
Perri Knize, A Piano Odyssey

14. The voice that answered had an Indian lilt to its Canadian accent.
a. unmistakable
b. like a trace of incense in the air
c. light
Yann Martel, Life of Pi

15. To the left was a doorway.

a. where twenty ranch hands used to eat dinner in the hot summer nights of
harvest
b. off the kitchen
c. and lay the screened porch
Joyce Weatherford, Heart of the Beast

16. Below the pulpit sat the congregation, and lay the casket.
a. pearly gray
b. stood the minister
c. decorated with a spray of white flowers
Anne Tyler, Saint Maybe

17. Sarah kissed Mack on the forehead.

a. and then held on to Nan when she again broke into sobs and moans
b. simply
c. tears rolling down her cheeks
William P. Young, The Shack

10
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

18. Josef took him into his arms, and thought suddenly how long it had been.
a. a sound that had once been as common in the house as the teakettle
whistle
b. since he had heard the sound of Thomas freely crying
c. stiffly
Michael Chabon, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay

19. I crept over to the bedroll.

a. which was battered both front and back
b. and tried to find a comfortable place for my head
c. when Walter finished cleaning my cuts and removing glass from my hair
Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants

20. We laughed, too.

a. to make him happy
b. which were rusty way before I had him
c. when our teacher laughed at his own jokes
d. forcing it sometimes
Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones

21. Indian Ed climbed.

a. where the team had spent the night with their cache of stolen goods
b. two pack animals and a half dozen horses
c. in a side canyon, on a late February morning
d. across the rocks below the overhang
Aron Ralston, Between a Rock and a Hard Place

22. Each tooth was still there.

a. intact
b. later
c. when he found the courage to check with his fingers
d. to his relief
Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

23. She came to greet him.

a. kissing him on the cheek
b. barefoot

11
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

c. embracing him
d. holding her arms wide
J. M. Coetzee, Disgrace

24. I rode my bicycle to the delivery point.

a. where Eugene Haverford used to sit in the darkness talking about the news
of the day
b. at five the next morning
c. with skill and swiftness
d. as I folded newspapers
Pat Conroy, South of Broad

25. A baseball is made of a composition-cork nucleus.

a. which is held together with 216 slightly raised red cotton stitches
b. encased in two thin layers of rubber
c. surrounded by 12 yards of tightly wrapped blue-gray wool yarn, 45 yards
of white wool yarn, 54 more yards of blue-gray wool yarn, 150 yards of
fine cotton yarn, a coat of rubber cement, and a cowhide (formerly horse-
hide) exterior
d. one black and one red
Roger Angell, Five Seasons

26. There he stood.

a. beaming at his discovery, sharing it with me
b. the most recent eructation (belching) of the ruling corporate elite
c. without thinking or even dreaming for a moment that I might actually
understand what he was referring to
d. a class that reproduces itself solely by means of virtuous and proper
hiccups
Muriel Barbery, The Elegance of the Hedgehog

27. There was no foundry, no vehicle company, or no manufacturer.

a. to make a locomotive or a gun or powder
b. in early California
c. to make iron products like railroad tracks
d. to make carriages horse-drawn or for a train
Stephen E. Ambrose, Nothing Like It in the World

12
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

28. The dog’s valor had one flaw.

a. because if the intruders were armed, his head dropped, his tail turned in
b. alert
c. although he was a good sentry
d. ever ready to raise Cain
Truman Capote, In Cold Blood

29. The garden vegetation rose up.

a. whose steady motion of advance and withdrawal made sounds of gentle
thunder, then sudden hissing against the pebbles
b. sensuous
c. and tropical in its profusion
d. an effect heightened by the gray, soft light and a delicate mist drifting in
from the sea
Ian McEwan, On Chesil Beach

30. Claude lay in the middle of the messy barn.

a. fingers half curled beside a liquor bottle
b. on a hastily improvised bed of straw bales
c. palm up
d. one hand hanging slackly to the floor
David Wroblewski, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle

Contrast the Dick-and-Jane sentences below with the originals. By contrast,

the originals are filled with sentence-composing tools that add meaning, texture,
style, variety, and elaboration. Additions and positions of tools make all the differ-
ence in composing well-written sentences.
Sentences Minus Tools:
1. I awoke.
2. Gramps had been thrown out of high school for misbehavior.
3. You know that you read.
4. Sandy Glass smiled most.
5. Burnham demanded.
6. He rolled up his shirt and placed it under his head.
7. The girls hovered around her.

13
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

8. Joy leapt in his father’s heart for his son.

9. He liked shooting things.
10. They stood.
11. They stood in the dead city.
12. Her father carried the water
13. Maier Christian sat.
14. The voice that answered had an Indian lilt to its Canadian accent.
15. To the left was a doorway.
16. Below the pulpit sat the congregation, and lay the casket.
17. Sarah kissed Mack on the forehead.
18. Josef took him into his arms, and thought suddenly how long it had been.
19. I crept over to the bedroll.
20. We laughed, too.
21. Indian Ed climbed across the rocks below the overhang.
22. Each tooth was still there.
23. She came to greet him.
24. I rode my bicycle to the delivery point.
25. A baseball is made of a composition-cork nucleus.
26. There he stood.
27. There was no foundry, no vehicle company, or no manufacturer.
28. The dog’s valor had one flaw.
29. The garden vegetation rose up.
30. Claude lay in the middle of the messy barn.

After learning in the next section how to imitate sentences by authors, you will
in the rest of this worktext learn, practice, and use all of the sentence-composing
tools from the activity on additions and positions. Throughout Grammar for Col-
lege Writing: A Sentence-Composing Approach, with authors as master craftsmen for
your mentors, you’ll learn the tools they use for sentence carpentry. With those
tools, you’ll be able to build better sentences.

14
 Additions: Tools for Elaboration

“There is a kind of carpentry in sentence-making, various ways of joining

or hooking up modifying units to the base sentence that preserve us
from the tedium of Dick-and-Jane sentences.”
—Mina P. Shaughnessy, Errors and Expectations

15
 Imitation: A Step to Creation

You now know that it’s not the subject and predicate that make good sentences.
It’s the additions.
You can learn the tools authors use for additions. A good way to begin is to
imitate the way authors use those tools to build their sentences. What follows are
practices in sentence imitating.
After you learn how to imitate sentences, throughout the rest of this worktext
you’ll use sentence imitating and other methods to learn grammatical tools hun-
dreds of authors use to build their sentences. All of those tools develop the most
important part of any sentence: the additions.

CHUNKING TO IMITATE
In these activities, based on sentences by J. K. Rowling from the Harry Potter series
of novels, you will become aware of meaningful divisions within sentences, an
awareness you’ll need to imitate model sentences. You will learn that authors com-
pose their sentences one “chunk” or meaningful sentence part at a time.

Directions (Part One): Copy the sentence divided into meaningful chunks.

1a. Dudley, who was so large his / bottom drooped over either side of the
kitchen / chair, turned to Harry.
1b. Dudley, / who was so large his bottom drooped over either side of the
kitchen chair, / turned to Harry.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

2a. The troll was advancing on her, / knocking the sinks off the wall / as it went.
2b. The troll was / advancing on her, knocking the / sinks off the wall as it went.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

3a. Then they visited the Apothecary, which / was fascinating enough to make up
for its / horrible smell, a mixture of bad / eggs and rotted cabbages.
3b. Then they visited the Apothecary, / which was fascinating enough / to make
up for its horrible smell, / a mixture of bad eggs and rotted cabbages.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

17
 Imitation: A Step to Creation

Directions (Part Two): Copy the model and then copy the sentence that can be
divided into chunks that match the chunks in the model.

1. MODEL: Enraged, hissing furiously, the snake slithered straight toward Justin
Finch-Fletchley, its fangs exposed, poised to strike.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

a. Near the ladder, the open paint can presented a hazard, with small children
on the playground in jeopardy.
b Frightened, hiding nervously, the rabbit burrowed backward in the bush, its
eyes blinking, ready to bolt.
2. MODEL: She flicked her wand, casually, at the dishes in the sink, which began
to clean themselves, clinking gently in the background.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

a. Juan nodded his head, slowly, at the toddler in the corner, who started to
approach him, smiling confidently on the way.
b. All of a sudden, the moon turned green on the horizon, an amazing phe-
nomenon that went unexplained by scientists.
3. MODEL: They studied Red Caps, the nasty little goblinlike creatures that lurked
wherever there had been bloodshed, in the dungeons of castles, in the potholes
of deserted battlefields, waiting to bludgeon those who had gotten lost.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

a. In the course, we studied sentence structure, analyzing the sentences of

master authors, whose sentences served as models for us to imitate, a pro-
cess that was the beginning of our quest for mastery of sentence variety.
b. Cranston sought special spiders, the stealthy bulbous vampirelike species
that lived wherever they could weave webs, in the high eaves of barns, in
the bushes of nearby bogs, hoping to capture flies that had grown fat.

Directions (Part Three): Copy the model and then copy the sentence that imitates
it. Then chunk both into meaningful sentence parts, using slash marks (/).

1. MODEL: Slowly, very slowly, the snake raised its head until its eyes were on a
level with Harry’s.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

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 Imitation: A Step to Creation

a. Tense, very tense, Alfredo approached his boss, someone he always consid-
ered a sarcastic, unpleasant curmudgeon.
b. Quietly, very quietly, Bridgette crossed the room until her hands were on
the diary of her sister.
2. MODEL: His face tear-streaked, clutching his wrist, Neville hobbled off with
Madame Hooch, who had her arm around him.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

a. Her performance over, holding the trophy, Kelly walked into the wings to-
ward her mom, who extended her arms in congratulations.
b. A new wireless vehicle, that invention was a techno-gadget unequalled by
the competition because it could teleport its owner anywhere.
3. MODEL: Harry watched, amazed, as a portly ghost approached the table,
crouched low, and walked through it, his mouth held wide so that it passed
through one of the stinking salmon.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

a. Samantha listened, astonished, as a younger player raised her violin, con-

centrated deeply, and played through the piece, her bow moving perfectly
so that she perfected each note of the demanding concerto.
b. His right pant leg torn from catching on the nail, Jameson inspected the
tear, considered mending it himself but decided instead to ask his mom,
who would kid him about his lack of sewing skill.

IMITATING MODEL SENTENCES

In the following activities here and throughout the worktext, you’ll build your
sentences like those by authors through imitating their sentence structure but
using your own content. Before beginning each imitation, first think of interesting
content—maybe a situation or character from a book, movie, TV show, or news
event—or use your imagination to create original content.

Directions (Part Four): Match the model and its imitation. Copy both sentences.
Then chunk both, using a slash (/) between sentence parts. Finally, write your own
imitation of each model.

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 Imitation: A Step to Creation

1. MODEL: Professor Dumbledore was standing by the mantelpiece, beaming,

near Professor McGonagall, who was taking great gasps, clutching her chest.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Imitations:
a. The parent was looking down the table, smiling, beside the host, who was
showing unvarnished pride, describing the recipe.
b. Once in a while, when time hung heavy, I would take a walk in the woods
not far from my house, listening to nature’s music.
2. MODEL: Dizzy, covered in soot, he got to his feet, gingerly, holding his broken
glasses up to his eyes.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Imitations:
a. Alone, alarmed by noises, he walked down the stairs, quietly, hearing some
strangers’ voices in the next room.
b. In twilight, before the new moon, the romance began, a strange relationship
that confused but enthralled her.
3. MODEL: Cowering behind, his legs wrapped heavily in bandages, Dobby stood.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Imitations:
a. Running at his fastest pace, nearing the finish line, he dodged a little kid.
b. Standing nearby, his patient covered lightly in blankets, the surgeon waited.

Directions (Part Five): Study the models and sample imitations, and then write
an imitation of each model sentence so good that nobody can tell your sentence
from the J. K. Rowling’s sentence.

1. MODEL: As they drew nearer to the silhouetted figure at the table, Voldemort’s
face shone through the gloom, hairless, snakelike, with slits for nostrils and
gleaming red eyes, whose pupils were vertical.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Sample: While the kids approached closer to the pacing tiger in its cage, the
trainer’s voice barked suddenly at the audience, loud, clear, with cautions about
safety and threats to the children, whose parents were nearby.

20
 Imitation: A Step to Creation

2. MODEL: Harry leaned forward to see Hagrid, who was ruby-red in the face and
staring down at his enormous hands, his wide grin hidden in the tangle of his
black beard.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Sample: The coach looked over to calm the player’s little brother, who was
very upset at the catcher and glaring at the umpire on the mound, his angry
eyes flashing in the triangle of his little face.
3. MODEL: Harry twisted his body around and saw a grindylow, a small, horned
water demon, poking out of the weed, its long fingers clutched tightly around
Harry’s leg, its pointed fangs bared.
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Sample: Frank plumbed his thoughts thoroughly and got an idea, an amazing,
little devious strategy, popping out of his mind, its emerging details flowing
easily from his brain, its salient points brilliant.

“Imitation precedes creation.”

—Stephen King, On Writing

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 Noun Group: The Naming Tools

Previewing the Noun Tools

Nouns name. This section introduces you to the noun group of sentence-compos-
ing tools: words, phrases, and clauses that name someone or something.
After this introduction, you’ll focus on the particular naming tools in the noun
group, learn about each tool in depth, practice using the tool through varied ac-
tivities, and apply the tool in a piece of your writing.

NOUN WORDS NOUN PHRASES NOUN CLAUSES

Basketball is fun. Playing basketball is fun. How I play basketball is
fun.
or
or
To play basketball is fun.
or Fun is why I play
basketball.
The best sport, the game
of basketball, is fun. or
That I play basketball is fun.

SENTENCES FROM CHILDREN’S LITERATURE

“There are perhaps no days of our childhood we lived so
fully as those we spent with a favorite book.”
—Marcel Proust, author

In the rest of this section, you’ll study noun tools—the tools that name—in
sentences from famous children’s literature, stories like A Wrinkle in Time, Holes,
Bridge to Terabithia, How to Eat Fried Worms, The Chronicles of Narnia, and others.
Their authors, like writers of literature for any age group—children, adolescents, or
adults—use noun tools to add detail, variety, maturity, and sophistication to their
sentences. Study, imitate, and learn from their sentences while taking a memory
trip down childhood’s Literary Lane.

Noun Phrases: There are three kinds of noun phrases: gerund, infinitive, appositive.
All of them name someone or something.

1. Gerund Phrase—Begins with an ing word: searching for lost coins, memorizing
new poems, climbing mountains.

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 Noun Group: The Naming Tools

Examples:
Being bitten by a scorpion or even a rattlesnake is not the worst thing that can
happen to you. (Names what isn’t the worst thing that can happen.)
Louis Sachar, Holes

Harry was a white dog with black spots who liked everything except getting a
bath. (Names the exception.)
Gene Zion, “Harry the Dirty Dog”

The velveteen rabbit grew to like sleeping in the boy’s bed, for the boy made
nice tunnels for him under the bedclothes that he said were like the burrows
the real rabbits lived in. (Names what the rabbit grew to like.)
Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

2. Infinitive Phrase—Begins with the word to plus a verb: to study bugs, to get a
new haircut, to take a computer apart.
Examples:
To get Janice Avery without ending up squashed or suspended was their problem.
(Names their problem.)
Katherine Paterson, Bridge to Terabithia

Now Tom began to scrawl something on the slate, hiding the words from the
girl. (Names what Tom began to do.)
Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

Violet turned on a light and began to sketch out her idea on a pad of paper.
(Names what Violet began to do.)
Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events: The End

3. Appositive Phrase—Usually begins with one of these words—a, an, the—and

identifies something named elsewhere in the sentence, often next to the
appositive phrase.
Examples:
Bess led the way around the house to the spring house, a windowless adobe
structure built onto the back wall of the kitchen. (Names what the spring house
was.)
Carolyn Keene, Nancy Drew series, The Secret of Shadow Ranch

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 Noun Group: The Naming Tools

After they had licked their paws and whiskers, Butterfly, the lovely Persian cat,
brought out her nose flute and began to play. (Names what Butterfly was.)
Esther Averill, Jenny and the Cat Club

Brigitte could see what a sad and abandoned child Lucky was, an orphan
whose Guardian was too busy for hugging. (Names who Lucky was.)
Susan Patron, The Higher Power of Lucky

Noun Clauses: Usually begin with one of these words—what, how, that, why. They
are sentence parts (not complete sentences) containing a subject (underlined once)
and a predicate (underlined twice).

what humidity measures that math began long ago

what Mars is like that pizza is American
how the earth formed why people enjoy dessert
how a baby laughs why dogs bark

Examples:
Prince Caspian knew that he had done a terrible thing. (Names what Prince
Caspian knew.)
C. S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia

Harry the dog fell asleep in his favorite place, happily dreaming about how he
thoroughly enjoyed getting dirty. (Names what Harry the dog was dreaming about.)
Gene Zion, “Harry the Dirty Dog”

No grown-up will ever understand that this is a matter of so much importance!

(Names what grown-ups don’t understand.)
Antoine de Saint Exupéry, The Little Prince

I still understood why I had always hated Lucinda’s gift. (Names what was still
understood.)
Gail Carson Levine, Ella Enchanted

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 Noun Group: The Naming Tools

Review
Directions: For sentences with boldfaced noun tools, exchange one of your own
for the author’s. For sentences with deleted noun tools, expand the sentence by
adding one of your own at the caret (^).

EXAMPLE OF EXCHANGING
Author’s: Pushing the handcart up to the man’s house was difficult.
John Hersey, Hiroshima

Yours: Carrying our sick sheepdog into the vet’s office was difficult.

EXAMPLE OF EXPANDING
Author’s Sentence with Deleted Tool: Arranging ^ can give a sense of quiet in a crowded
day, like writing a poem, or saying a prayer.
Your Added Tool: Arranging a schedule without lots of activities can give a sense
of quiet in a crowded day, like writing a poem, or saying a prayer.
Original Sentence: Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of
quiet in a crowded day, like writing a poem, or saying a prayer.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

Noun Phrases: Exchange the first five. Expand the next five.

1. They all saw the strange creature, a whiskered furry face that looked out at
them from behind a tree.
C. S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia

2. Mrs. Myers tried to figure out where to put the extra desk.
Katherine Paterson, Bridge to Terabithia

3. He started waking up before the alarm that week, fresher in the morning
and stronger.
Robert Lipsyte, The Contender

4. She periodically tried to dress the cat in doll clothes and to make it sit at picnics.
Gary Paulsen, The Time Hackers

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 Noun Group: The Naming Tools

5. Maybe their father would bring presents, a package of colored paper for
Ramona, a paperback book for Beezus.
Beverly Cleary, Ramona and Her Father

6. Being a ^ doesn’t excuse you from having to learn.

Bill and Vera Cleaver, Where the Lilies Bloom

7. May always liked the weird ones best, the ones ^.

Cynthia Rylant, Missing May

8. He preferred visiting ^ and listening ^.

Louis Sachar, Holes

9. Most of the natives Tommy knew did their shopping on King Street, the ^ ,
a^.
Tracy Kidder, Home Town

10. On this planet everything is in perfect order because everybody has learned to
^, to ^, to ^.
Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

Noun Clauses: Exchange the first five. Expand the next five.

11. What Jim Thatcher had said about her man could have been a trick.
Hal Borland, When the Legends Die

12. Up until I turned twelve years old, the kind of friends I had were what you’d
expect.
Joseph Krumgold, Onion John

13. Mr. Monroe sat down in a daze as if he were wondering how he came to be
sitting in his own living room in a wet raincoat with a strange bunny on
his lap.
Deborah and James Howe, Bunnicula

14. Agnes had long red hair that fell rather greasily to her waist, and when she
sidled up to Gilly on the playground, the first thing Gilly noticed was how
dirty her fingernails were.
Katherine Paterson, The Great Gilly Hopkins

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 Noun Group: The Naming Tools

15. His parents concluded that something dreadful must have happened and
that they would probably never see their son again.
William Steig, “Sylvester and the Magic Pebble”

16. Because of the routines we follow, we often forget that ^ .

Maya Angelou, Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now

17. What ^ was a box in one corner of the room, a box with dials and a small
light shining on the front.
Robert C. O’Brien, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH

18. The three children did not understand how ^, or how ^.

Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events: The End

19. I asked him once why ^, why ^.

Mildred D. Taylor, Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry

20. There was a terrible moment when Father insisted that ^, that ^, and that ^.
Kate DiCamillo, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane

“When I said, ‘A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose,’

I completely caressed and addressed a noun.”
—Gertrude Stein, avant-garde writer

In the next pages, you’ll learn and practice how authors use each of the tools
in the noun group to build their sentences, and how you can use them, too.

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