This document discusses several important factors to consider when preparing for marriage and choosing a lifelong partner. It outlines key elements of mature love, including care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. When selecting a partner, the document notes that while incidental factors like proximity and shared values are considered, the most important qualities are psychological maturity, ethical virtues, and shared religious beliefs which provide a firm foundation. The stages of dating, courtship, and engagement are described, emphasizing the importance of open communication, spiritual growth, and compatibility during these periods before marriage.
This document discusses several important factors to consider when preparing for marriage and choosing a lifelong partner. It outlines key elements of mature love, including care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. When selecting a partner, the document notes that while incidental factors like proximity and shared values are considered, the most important qualities are psychological maturity, ethical virtues, and shared religious beliefs which provide a firm foundation. The stages of dating, courtship, and engagement are described, emphasizing the importance of open communication, spiritual growth, and compatibility during these periods before marriage.
This document discusses several important factors to consider when preparing for marriage and choosing a lifelong partner. It outlines key elements of mature love, including care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. When selecting a partner, the document notes that while incidental factors like proximity and shared values are considered, the most important qualities are psychological maturity, ethical virtues, and shared religious beliefs which provide a firm foundation. The stages of dating, courtship, and engagement are described, emphasizing the importance of open communication, spiritual growth, and compatibility during these periods before marriage.
This document discusses several important factors to consider when preparing for marriage and choosing a lifelong partner. It outlines key elements of mature love, including care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. When selecting a partner, the document notes that while incidental factors like proximity and shared values are considered, the most important qualities are psychological maturity, ethical virtues, and shared religious beliefs which provide a firm foundation. The stages of dating, courtship, and engagement are described, emphasizing the importance of open communication, spiritual growth, and compatibility during these periods before marriage.
The Meaning of Love – Care (active concern) Love can be defined in – Responsibility (to respond to one’s needs) many ways – Respect (aware of one’s uniqueness) – Knowledge (in-depth consciousness of other) • Mature love is a genuine love that endures. – Marriage, to last, necessitates this kind of enduring love. Love is a decision; not just • Qualities of Mature love: a feeling. It is primarily – 1. Altruistic – unconditional giving of time, energy giving and not receiving. and affection – 2. Freeing – not restrictive, rather enriching one’s being and becoming – 3. Honest – fidelity to his/her person – 4. Happy, sad and neutral; but mostly happy – 5. Empathetic – “feeling with” another – 6. Strengthening – enduring for both 2 What to expect in a prospective Lifetime Partner Incidental Factors: • 1. Geographical and Residential propinquity The single most important – Tendency to choose one who lives choice an individual makes in close by his/her lifetime is choosing a • 2. Homogamy marriage partner. – “likes” or persons belonging to same race, nationality, region or social What are some of the class factors at play in the choice • 3. sharing of similar cultural of a lifetime partner? values – Seeking out someone who shares similar values or value systems • 4. Peer, family and cultural pressures altogether – When family and friends approve of the person one selects. 3 What to expect in a prospective Lifetime Partner Real Criteria for the Choice: • 1. Physical qualities – Appearance makes a great difference More importantly, however, a in mate selection. person has to choose beyond • 2. Psychological qualities the previous standards – Essential is a certain degree of intelligence and maturity for a healthy marriage • 3. Ethical qualities – Important virtues like truthfulness, purity of mind, temperance, frugality, modesty, loyalty, and honesty. • 4. Religious qualities – Profession of same religious belief is very important towards a firm foundation for family life. 4 Of Dating and Courtship
On Dating: • Dating involves getting to
As defined, dating is know each other better and “occasional spending of time can provide companionship. together by a boy and a girl for some purpose of – Friendship dating companionship, of getting – Random/casual dating acquainted, and for some kind of entertainment, usually – Group dating without any intention of marriage” – Double dating
5 Of Dating and Courtship
On Courtship: • During courtship, parents have to Courtship is a human respect the choice of their relation developed through children, though they may not different and gradual stages. agree. However, parents’ advice is It does not merely involve at the same time important. ligawan but extends even to • During courtship important the period of being together reminders have to be until formal engagement for remembered: marriage – Openness and sincerity are essential – Expressing affection in a chaste and dignified way – Assiduously seek the spiritual formation of one another
6 Engagement??? Hmmm…
Engagement: • It has two purposes:
– 1. Period to discover and study Engagement means that man has proposed or asked the couple’s compatibility with woman to marry him and she each other has given him an affirmative – 2. Preparation for marriage answer. which needs time • It has two kinds: – 1. Informal engagement • Mutual verbal agreement – 2. formal engagement (betrothal) • Executed in writing and made public its announcement 7 A Start • Each day, I promise myself not to try to solve all my life problems at once — nor shall I expect you to do so; • Starting each day, I shall try to learn something new about me and about you and about the world I live in, so that I may continue to experience all things as if they had been newly born; • Starting each day, I shall remember to communicate my joy as well as my despair, so that we can know each other better; • Starting each day, I shall remind myself to really listen to you and to try to hear your point of view and to discover the least-threatening way of giving you mine, remembering that we are both growing and changing in a hundred different ways; • Starting each day, I shall remind myself that I am a human being and not demand perfection of you until I am perfect, so you’re safe; • Starting each day, I shall try to be more aware of the beautiful things in our world — I’ll look at the flowers, I’ll look at the birds, I’ll look at the children, I’ll feel the cool breezes, I’ll eat good food — and I’ll share these things with you; • Starting each day, I shall remind myself to reach out and touch you, gently, with my words, my eyes and with my fingers, because I don’t want to miss feeling you; • Starting each day, I shall dedicate myself again to the process of being a lover — and then see what happens; • You know, I’m really convinced that if you were to define love, the only word big enough to engulf it all would be “Life” — LOVE IS LIFE — in all its aspects … And if you miss love, you miss life ! • Please don’t !
