Discipline with Dignity

Richard L. Curwin and Allen N. Mendler

(FYI – New at Amazon.com for $15.95, and used ones available)

Discipline with Dignity is not a gimmicky discipline plan filled with easy “tricks” or fill-in-
the-blank lists or scripted responses. Rather it is an attitude or philosophy toward
discipline. It gives the teacher or administrator the latitude to develop disciplinary
measures that reflect individuality.

Generic Discipline Model

Goals: What the program will accomplish
Principles: What general attitude and behavioral guidelines teachers model and
students are encouraged to learn in class

Rules: What is enforced every time it is broken

Enforcement or intervention: What happens when a rule is broken
Student (incidental) learning: What the student learns as a result of the enforcement
or intervention
Evaluation: How well the program goals are being met.

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 21

The Obedience Model We define obedience as following rules without question

regardless of beliefs. Is this what we want for our students? In the end, obedience
leads to immaturity, external locus of control, and lack of motivation.

Main Goal: Students follow orders

Principles: Do what I (teacher or administrator) want
Intervention: Punishment is the primary intervention – what punishment to use
1. External locus of control
2. Something done to a student

Examples:
1. Threats
2. Scolding
3. Writing, “I will not….” 500 times
4. Detentions and Demerits
5. Writing student’s name on the chalkboard (Assertive discipline, “pulling tickets”)

Student learns…
1. Don’t get caught
2. It’s not my responsibility

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 22
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The Responsibility Model
Main Goal: To teach students to make responsible choices
Principles: To learn from the outcomes of decisions

Consequences:
1. Internal locus
2. Done by the student – rather than to the student
3. Logical or natural

Examples:
1. Developing a plan describing how you will behave without breaking the rule when
you are in a similar situation
2. Practicing appropriate behavior in a private meeting with the teacher

Student learns…
1. I cause my own outcomes
2. I have more than one alternative behavior in a situation
3. I have the power to choose the best alternative

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 26

Principles that structure a discipline plan:

1. Dealing with student behavior is part of the job

a. Teaching content is fun, but lessons about behavior, communication, and
getting along with others make a lasting impression.

2. Always treat students with dignity

a. Educators have known this all along, but the need to enhance and protect
it is imperative
b. Students enter first grade with high self-esteem, but (by some estimates)
by middle school, only 20% still have it.
c. Students protect their dignity (in the eyes of their peers) at all costs.

3. Discipline works best when integrated with effective teaching

a. We teach students to use critical thinking processes in the content areas.
b. We can use the same thought processes to help students make wise
choices about their actions relative to discipline.

4. Acting out is sometimes an act of sanity

a. Poor teaching can cause behavior problems.
b. Don’t be quick to judge students, but rather reflect on how you manage
your instruction.
Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 27

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The 80-15-5 Principle:

 80% of the students do what you want. They rarely break rules or violate
principles. They come to school motivated to learn, prepared, and accept the
restrictions of the classroom.

 15% of the students break rules and violate principles on a somewhat regular
basis. They do not blindly accept the classroom values. Their motivation may
range from completely on, to completely off depending on the situation at home.
Their achievement can range from high to low depending on the teacher or the
content. If they don’t have enough structure, these kids can quickly disrupt the
classroom.

 5% of the students are chronic rule breakers and generally out of control most of
the time. Nothing seems to work for them. They have typically experienced
failure throughout their school lives and see no hope for success in the future.
They believe there is no reason to learn. These kids may have severe learning
or emotional problems, and may come from troubled homes.

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 27-28

Locus of Control
External – an individual perceives that powerful forces or people cause things to
happen to him and he cannot control them.

Internal – an individual perceives that he causes his own outcomes. The more internal
we are, the more responsible we are.

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Examples:

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Teacher: Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: I did it, but I left it in my jeans and my mom washed it. Now I don’t have it.

Analysis: External locus of control. His mother did it.

2
Teacher: Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: The dog ate it.

Analysis: The dog did it.

3
Teacher: Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: You never assigned it.
Teacher: Yes, I did. Every other student in class heard me.
Johnny: You must have assigned it when I wasn’t paying attention.

Analysis: The teacher did it.

4
Teacher: Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: I didn’t do it.

Analysis: Johnny did it. (In this case, he didn’t do it.)

5.
Teacher: How come you did so well on the test?
Karen: It was easy.

Analysis: External. The test caused the high score.

6.
Teacher: How come you did so well on the test?
Karen: I studied.

Analysis: Internal. Karen did it.

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Principles of locus of control as they relate to discipline:

1. Internal is more closely related to responsibility – interesting and not surprising

2. Internal produces more guilt when a student fails – interesting and not surprising

3. Inappropriate external orientation leads to helplessness – rewards given freely

4. Conditions for developing internality include:

a. Predictability
b. Accurate, consistent, immediate feedback
c. Real choices
d. Planning

5. We can learn from our mistakes when:

a. Consequences are natural or logical (we learn that something happens as
a result of our behavior and that it is closely related to the behavior)
b. The severity of the consequences matches the circumstances of the
behavior
c. We accept our role in creating the outcomes
d. Guilt and blame are emphasized less than planning future behavior
change.

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 29-30

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“Effective discipline does not come from the quick mastery of techniques or the
implementation of a packaged method. Effective discipline comes from the heart and
soul of the teacher. It comes from the belief that teaching students to take responsibility
for their behavior is as much the “job” of the teacher as teaching content and more
important than teaching rules….” P. 31

Ms. A states very clear rules and consequences. However, Ms. A carries out her
consequences only when she is in a bad mood and usually only with the students she
dislikes. When her favorite students break the rules, she reminds them that if they do
that again, she will….

Your comments…

Ms. S took a course in behavior modification and learned how to set up a contingency
program in her classroom. Her principal supported her concept and even brought in a
consultant who worked with five teachers to set up a model program. Unfortunately,
Ms. S’s plan failed because no one bothered to tell her that because her personal value
system was opposed to the philosophy of behavior modification, the plan would not
work for her. One must believe in the approach for it to “work”. Ms. S felt like a failure
when told by the consultant that behavior modification was a “proven method” that
worked if correctly applied.

Your comments…

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 32-33
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Three-Dimensional Discipline

1. The Preventative Dimension – Actively prevent discipline problems from

occurring.
2. The Action Dimension – OK, the misbehavior occurred, now what?
3. The Resolution Dimension – What the teacher resolves to do for out-of-control
students

1. The Preventative Dimension – What can be done to prevent discipline

problems

a. Be aware of self (teacher) – Congruence between real and ideal teaching

selves. In other words, they do what they say and their words match their
actions.
b. Be aware of the students – Students are real human beings, not puppets.
Develop a personal likes and dislikes inventory to use with your students
to find out about them.
c. Express genuine feelings – Students and others can see through
dispassionate actions.
d. Become knowledgeable of alternative theories – The discipline plan you
learned during your own grade school years, the one used at your
children’s school, or the one you saw during fieldwork may not be the “end
all and be all”.
e. Motivate students to learn – Perhaps the students don’t see a connection
to real-life or see no purpose to learn. “Idle minds are the devil’s
workshop.”
f. Establish social contracts (agreements between students and teacher
about rules and consequences) – Commonly known as a list of rules,
consequences and rewards you hang in your classroom.
g. Implement social contracts – Enforce the rules, consequences, and
rewards you established above.
h. Reduce stress –
i. Solve problems so that minimal stress is experienced
ii. Employ structured and unstructured stress reduction techniques

iii. If all else fails – Try a wine cooler at the end of the day!

2. The Action Dimension – What to do when discipline problems occur

a. Choose best alternative consequence

b. Implement consequence – Your tone of voice, eye contact, posture, and
c. Collect data physical distance are important here
d. Avoid power struggles

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 3. The Resolution Dimension – Resetting contracts, negotiation with
individual student

a. Find what is needed to prevent another problem – reflect

b. Develop mutually agreeable plan – involve the student
c. Implement plan – coolness and consistency are key here
d. Monitor plan or revise as necessary – reflect
e. Use creative approaches when necessary – involve the student, principal,
parents, mentor or others

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 34-44

The Social Contract – The list of rules, consequences, and rewards you hang in
your classroom

The basic design of the social contract is establishing the rules and consequences for
classroom behavior. Included in the design are methods to
1. Involve students in the process
2. Ensure that rules are clear – allow for clarification when introducing the rules
3. Develop consequences, not punishment
4. Develop what seems to be a paradox: predictable consequences for rule
violations that allow teachers to match one of many alternative consequences to
a particular circumstance – Be sneaky here.
5. Allow the contract to change with classroom needs
6. Give teachers the ability to make decisions rather than have a system decide.
This encourages teachers to develop an internal locus of control, which
minimizes feeling helpless and out of control. – Ultimately, you are in control and
are responsible for the students.
7. Give students the ability to make decisions rather than have the teacher decide.
This encourages students to develop an internal locus of control, which
minimizes feeling helpless and out of control. – Students gain control and take
responsibility for their behavior.
8. Have safeguards to protect the dignity of all students – So very important – show
respect and get respect. – “What goes around comes around”.
9. Increase communication between teachers, students, administrators, and
parents – promote understanding by all stakeholders
10.Integrate discipline methodology with the teaching of content – can fall under
social studies

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 47-48

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To prevent students from pleading ignorant of the rules, consequences, and rewards,
test them on the social contract.

Examples of Consequences and Punishment

Rule: All trash must be thrown in the basket.

Consequence: Pick your trash up off the Punishment: Apologize to the teacher in
floor front of the whole class.

Rule: Tests and homework must be completed alone, unless group work is assigned.
There is no copying other students’ work.
Consequence: Do the test or homework Punishment: Write 100 times, “I will not
again under supervision copy other students’ work.”

Rule: No talking when someone else is talking. If you want to speak, wait until the
current speaker finishes.
Consequence: Wait five minutes before Punishment: Sitting in the hall for the
speaking. entire period

Rule: You must be in your seat five minutes after the bell.
Consequence: You are responsible to get Punishment: Miss entire class sitting in
any missed information or make up any the principal’s office, then make up missed
work missed while you were late. work.

Consequences preserve the student’s dignity, increase the internal locus of control,
and increase the student’s motivation.

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 70

Generic consequences:

1. Reminder of the rules

2. A warning
3. Developing an action plan for improving behavior – my essay asking the student
to tell me what they would do about the behavior
4. Practicing behavior – show me how you can walk in the hall

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 72-73

Developing Effective Consequences:

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 1. Read your rule two or three times – close your eyes and visualize a student
breaking that rule. What natural consequences pop out? Visualize a student
refusing to clean up after art class. What do you suggest?

2. Collect effective consequences – Ask other teachers, mentors, or administrator.

Perhaps a book can give you suggestions.

3. Use the students – Students can tell you what works best with students. When
students make the rules, they are much harder on themselves than you are.

4. Elicit parent suggestions – Parents know their children and have ideas about
what works and what doesn’t

5. Use your own experiences – What worked when you were a student? What
works with your own children? What worked in the past?

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 77

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Nine Principles for Consequence Implementation

1. Always implement a consequence – Be consistent – Remember, a consequence

is NOT a punishment.

2. Simply state the rule and consequence – Calmly – The student is not out to get
you. There is no need to cause guilt by scolding as this can cause retaliatory
behavior. If the child wants to see you get angry, he/she will be disappointed.

3. Be as physically close to the student as possible when you implement a

consequence: Use the power of proximity – Rule of thumb – conversational
distance and one step closer.

4. Make direct eye contact when you deliver a consequence (Caution: some
cultures teach their children that eyes down is a sign of respect and making
direct eye-contact with a teacher is a sign of disrespect.) – Maintain this for about
a minute. If the student refuses to make eye contact (and culture isn’t a factor),
state the consequence and walk away. You might be able to talk with the student
later.

5. Use a soft voice – This is much more effective than shouting or stating the
consequence from 20 feet away. Maintain dignity. Others know the child is in
trouble anyway. Word about the consequence travels!

6. Catch a student being good – Use the same techniques as above about
speaking softly. Very effective. Use 2-3 times per hour.

7. Do not embarrass the student in front of his peers – you maintain dignity and
avoid power struggles. The child knows he/she is guilty but doesn’t need to
prove himself/herself to peers.

8. Be firm and anger free when giving your consequences (OK, so how do you
become anger free) Breathe! Calm down and then give the consequence with a
level (impartial) voice. (Think of a judge)

9. Do not accept excuses, bargaining, or whining – This gets my goat more than
anything. Do not allow whiner to disrupt class. If no audience, whining stops in a
few minutes. Parents, do you notice this with your own children?

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 95-109

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Stress, Discipline and Teacher burnout:
Discipline problems contribute to teacher stress, and if stress contributes to teacher
burnout – how do teachers reduce stress?

1. Exercise

2. Good nutrition

3. Emotional relaxation
a. Become aware of your feelings
b. Become accepting of yourself
c. Become aware of how you manage your feelings
d. Become able to release pent-up emotions

4. Physical relaxation
a. Breathing exercises
b. Private retreat – a quiet five minutes
c. Smiling at yourself
d. Laughing
e. Be your own best friend
f. Quick release exercises
g. Changing unpleasant experiences

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 120+

Homework:
A Nation at Risk criticized schools for not giving enough homework. American students
have less homework than their counterparts do in other industrialized nations.
However, a student with unfinished or undone homework often receives a negative
consequence. Homework works best when it:
1. Is challenging
2. Is interesting
3. Is appropriate
4. Is related to classroom work
5. Is corrected quickly and returned
6. Has choices
7. Is not written on unreadable dittos
8. Is not always done alone

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 174-175

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Specific Suggestions for Teachers in the Inner City:

1. Know your students and let them know you – build trust and understanding
a. How do your students naturally communicate with each other?
b. Are you offended by their natural language that to you sounds rough
and/uncouth?
c. What are their likes and dislikes?
d. What privileges are important to them and which are hokey?
e. What chores are distasteful to your students?

2. State your rules and consequences clearly

a. Your students’ backgrounds vary widely. You must be clear and firm in
stating your rules and expectations in your classroom.
b. Once your plan is established, you can add flexibility if you want.

3. Develop consequences that work

a. Consequences should reflect the cultural values of the students receiving
them. Be award of cultures and their values.
b. The best consequences are non-punitive and relate to the actions.
c. Effective consequences demonstrate a competency to students and
parents

4. Provide appropriate outlets for expressing feelings for both yourself and your
students
a. Many inner city students believe they must put on a “front” and be “cool”
to their peers. However, they want acceptance like other children.
Optional sharing/discussion is a good idea and an anonymous “gripe box”
works well to start the discussion.
b. Learn to deal with your fear of the “inner city”.

5. Capitalize on the resources within the city

a. Inner city hospitals, police stations, businesses, historical landmarks or
tourist places might be taken for granted. Use them as a laboratory or
involve their employees in your classroom.
b. If you cannot take the kids out, bring the businesses in via talks, displays,
and other contacts.

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 6. Improve students’ reading ability
a. You are a reading, writing, and English teacher regardless of what
subjects you are teaching (except Chinese)

7. Focus on the positive

a. It seems hokey, but 2 correct out of 10 is still 2 correct. Focus on that
rather than 8 wrong.

8. Develop group support with other teachers

a. Teaching is not done in isolation as it once was. Reach out.

9. Develop a strong working relationship with your principal and other

administrators
a. The best schools had a strong principal
b. The best schools – in my opinion – have strong secretarial / clerical and
janitorial help. Get to know them!

10. Enlist community leaders

a. Every community has formal and informal groups that reach out to folks in
need.
i. YMCA
ii. NAACP
iii. Church groups
iv. Mexican cultural club
v.

Curwin, R. L. & Mendler, A. N. (1999). Discipline with dignity. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice-Hall, Inc. p. 196+

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