Fanita English 1530 Locust St. up Phila., Pa. 19102 from: TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS JOURNAL formerly The Transactional Analysis Bulletin, Eric Berne, M.D., Founder and First Editor (1962-70) Published by the International Transactional Analysis Association A Non-Profit Educational Corporation Copyright 1971 by Fanita English, M.S.w. NO PART OF THIS ARTICLE MAY BE REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S WRITTEN PERMISSION. THE SUBSTITUTION FACTOR: RACKETS AND REAL FEELINGS PART 1 FANITA ENGLISH, M1. Ie isnot hard to recognize what TA practitioners all a “iacket™ when it fanifet ten, sty, a patent stoet tr frond. The enpesson of feeling sens ati, repatve emt seo typed. One won: Ie dis genie regret or uit racket"? Conve sa hess, ora apreson racket? Gentine Kreaness er a "sectnest het? Surly tis person cold etome more thot? Bot it is not that easy to intesene succosftly “in rogard 1. someone’ facket, cuen under reatinent cone Pointing out doesnot change smn Pronsttons! Anal I-14, October IT times this only reinforces the racket However afl ig feliogs may ap fen the ouster, the patent hols on Ugly tos racket, saying: "Deni you seant me to exprest hw I fel ‘The Sey to Westnet es in dh cha lenge Tor blind cachrachet however phony se amy seem, there are tal Felis ot perception Hf nother kind wh the Tndividal i not allowing hil o be aware of a the pocsn? beease ey twee preted i the pst Rackets subtute, within a feeling category that was permitted nthe pt, er Vol. /. Mo. 4 Ocr 97 L 26 TIN SUMSTETUTON FACTOR: RACKETS AND RVAL. PFFLINGS for other feclings which would appear naw Tad not this extexony of potential seal feclings or perceptions been sop. pressed when the person was growing up. How docs this eome about? Before proceeding, Jot we distinguish tlice separate aspects to perception and feeling in tho grown person, These ave 1, Present, inner awareness (e.g. Right now know that I see or hear something strange, or feel scared, angry, glad, Iongry, in pain, ete.) 2 Demonstration or expression by means of appearanee, bohavice ot words, eg. I stivteh to see or hear, I cower, or frown, or say: “Tm... mad, glad, Ihungry, scared, happy . . 2” ot: "T see, hear, touch, sme" ete.) 3, Action directed at someone or some. thing. eg 1 Kiss you, hit you, grab a banana, a gun, ete.) You and I know that even when I am aware of, say, fecling angry, (aspect 1), T have options about action (aspect 3) in that T don’t have to hit you. If I'm skilfsl, F have options about showing or tolling you how I feck (as pect 2). fa fact, the more eapable Fam ff aspect 1 (aweronoss of feeling) the broader aro my options about aspects 2 and 3. Tho young child has no such refined choices Originally, in the infant, aspects 1, 2 and 3. co-txisted in undifferentiated fashion, In fact, the capacity for 1) awareness, 2) expression, and 3) action, did not develop sm this order. In the very young child action (3), such a8 ssrabbing, hitting, ete. is almost simalta. neous with expression (2), suck as screaming, Slaying about, ote, and, de- velopmentallly ties: precede selfawate. ness (1), 1c. the ability to know what is perceived or felt f28) demification of pesception and fee ing is initiated! by parents. They say ‘see Uhe eal... hear the rattle. and thereby the elaild sorts ovt what he per ceives and feels. Often the eli shows a reaction and the parent nares a feel Ing even befere the chil lnings it into awareness. ("Ob, you jumped when i popped; were you seared?” With parenting a chitd learns to dis- tingufsh between (1) awareness and (3) action, and, later, be alsa uses his Adult to determine (2) showing or telling (eg. Mother to daughter: “Yes, 1 sve you're mad at baby brother for kicking. your blocks, but you may not lit him ‘with them.") Here mother teaches the difference between feeling and action, permitting one but not the othex. Bven: tually daaghtor will decide slso how, when, and to whom she reveals her feel ings. Some parents, when they recognize certain feelings in their chill, train him to not feel ther, or force hinn to be not ‘auware of certain perceptions, They make no distinction between fecting and Action, thereby communicating that daw ger lies within the feeling itself. Sup. [press emotional awareness! ‘The method of enforcement for this suppression is: a) either by strict “no- no,” but naming the feeling (es ‘You're mad! How dare you be... (eal ‘ous, nosey, unhappy, boisterous, ete.) (Conclusion by child: I daren't be ancare of such feelings, because ¥ might, vunknowingly, reveal having them, and death would ensne); oF b) worse, by not even naming forbidden feelings or ppereeptions, i.e, discounting any evi ence of feelings in “dangerous” cate- footies, such a¢ sex, anger, anbappiness, for whatever. Conclusion ly child: these strange body-diseeunforts J feel at times: —they aren't real; I don't veally feel them, since I don't know what they ace, Transoctonal Anal. J 1, October 1971FANITA ENGLISH Back family docs, however, pesmi, and even encanrage, certain offer catty gories of feeling, even if they are con. stuncted artificially, “Kindness does it” “Go, go, scare them away!” “Helpless anil hopeless, that’s you.” “Johnny's a seny lille devil; noses! "Love thy neigh- bor... * “Watch out, dan' trust “Averit you ashamed?" “He's sa (nervous, sickly, ansions, sensitive, bel Tigesant, mean, shy, fearful, ete)" “Its these diud . + (ethnie group) ‘A child who has had to suppress awareness of certain “forbidden” fee! ings makes up for it by expressing with extra emphasis whatever: he may es Dress, ‘Thereby, at least he vents emo- lion; not the genuine one, to be sure, but some emotion; however, because it 4s not the real feeling, he is dissatisfied and remains with a continuing need to present the phony emotion. Tt is as hough repetition would clarify what's ‘unexpressed. Hence the "broke phono. graph’ effect of a racket, In the family his racket may gain hin some strokes, but as he gocs out into the world the strokes diminish or be- come ritualized as sextaintances be- tated_with bis. stereotyped repotitiveness. To allay the increased feclings of dissatisfaction, and in a fran tic effort togain more strokes heenlerges {he racket, Now the individnal is em. Darked on a self-defeating cycle, seeking ‘trading stamps to justify the enlarged racket, and then, ip tura, increasing the racket as he finds more staanps. Tf he is resourceful, be “hooks” part ners into giving him strakes or stamps. Thus docs the racket turn into a. gctme. (Structurally, rackets proceeds gaines they are more primitive, vequiting 10 Darineis at the eotset, ‘They ean develo into games ss the individal teansacts with others outside the family citele.) On treating 2 patient with a racket, the therapist's main job is ta determine Tronsctonal Anal. J 14, Octo 17) an what feelings and/or peeceptions ave bbeinyt suppressed hy the patient in cealoyory other than that repuesented by the mekot. As tho examples to follow will show, a depression racket docs net cover up sadness, x hosiligs racket does not cower up anger, ete. ‘They cover ther feclings. And soretimes. the uundesying feeling ie move than sup: pressed. ‘The pationt has never really “experienced” if, and practically needs ta “learn” itl Luey, for instance, dem onstrated cloying’ sweet sackely con sideration whenever someone in her treatment Group said somelding that might have generated envy in het, but she was unaware of envy ot jealousy, and she maintained her "sweet com: cern” was genuine When Susie ex. pressed her own feelings of jealousy about a enusin, Luey became involved with “amazement” about Susie's feck ings, She had “never” been jealous when hher baby: brother. was born: she had Deen stroked for “sweet consideration” instead and now needed to “discover” envy hefore her cloying behavior abated. In addition to. permission for envy, Lacy needed help to distinguish he. lwvcen awareness af feeling, identifying ‘or namning. the feeling, shising it, and seting on it, As in many “racket” eases, Luey’sParent kept insisting that her new awareness was dangetars, because. it would “automatically” Jed te dangerous action. And Lsey’s Chill feued. that she wonld now become walovable ane ineapable of eine genuinely tender To identify underlying feelings, the therapist needs. alertness to “heres row” lies, andl jmaginntion as to hw 4a. Natural Child mig fee) ia the Now if allowed avwareness Remeber alo, that 9 category of feeling which may Te hidily disap proved of in one family cold Be the “penmitted kind ftom avhich a racket Aevelops in another. In one family, 129) 2 8 ‘THE SUBSTITUTION FACTOR: RACKETS AND REAL FEELINGS anger may be prohibited, sad a “gil” or “sullesing” Tacket is Sulstituted by a ell. ity notion, &“lrtilzty racket fs fostered to chanel aveuy, perhaps, sexuality oF joyoustess, Also, within he soe family a gfid might be supported ig an ansiety rackel; (fear is peatilted to gies, hen’, but not sexual feelings); the boy, how coves, may be forbidden fear, and sup. ported in a hestilty sacket Borhittden feelings are not always in the areas of sek or anger, thovglr these are highly charged eatexories in ovr eul= ture. Sometimes auch feeling nay be <0 innocuous, fs hard to believe they ever appeared dangerous to anyone Take the case of Thea She was sisty-five and had had recur ng depressions all her lif. After an extended interval in treat ment without appreciable change hy ‘Thea, one day, my exasperated Child exploded: "OK, Thea, you want to hold fon to your depressions. Maybe you's better off this way! After all, ook at the advantages: your husband brings your breakfast, no housework, no cooking for visiting relatives; yor lie in bed, read and watel: TV to your heart's content. Enjoy your depression! Instead of taking brown stamps, Thea stortled ine with a peal of giggling, from a pure delightful Child egovstate 1 joined the giggling and we went on eon: spirntorally listing all the fam available from faking a depression. Suddenly ‘Thea stopped: “But I don't fake my do pressions; T sfler, E don't have funl Heady from the last few minvtes 1 Dastily clined a Patental peach end said: “OK, then, Permission to seleme and not soffer and have fan! Git aand laughter agin. *T haven't Tau s0 muuch in years. Amy T bocon icky? That’ what my hoshane! will say He's a physician, When T was a child T remomber 1 was always tal T was 1301 rch too Te Tye andl ‘here it was. Get, fon and laughter nd been profibited in her ebildiood, and Die hash was, unbawowdusly, x6 infoveing the same prolibition, Ther’s mother ad sufered from a prolonged illnes; quiet had heen a xe. fayivement IE Thea enme hone fron selicol with friends, gay and boisterens, there was long-suffering repoof, then, ‘whom father came home and Joona ‘Thea raping around he sloked his sweet, am Inppy Tite girl who was “sad beexise rath was sick” So Thea learned to exchange galety for depression, Fortunately, even at soxtyfiv it was possible to apy her ea pacity for gaiety, snd capitalize on it ‘Thea's racket had not become a game, peshaps beenase some gery had existed in very early ehildheed, pechaps because hie hasband had not pateipated hole heartedly. Many rackets do, however, become tworrmore handed Games, and are thas havder to cove. Thea drop. ped the depression racket when she dis Covered a whale range of “new” felings which wero real, Two yess after treat rent ended sho reported no depressions ‘whereas there had never been more then a three month interval before And, of course, she did nat become smanicky. This point is importa regne jing some other cases of depression ‘where eruption of feeling held down for years is disgnosed perhaps too fast ar “manieky” in order (Bt the patent into a ‘ininieedepressive” diagnasis. The pa tient _may need practice in andling smoothly new awszeness, which might, At Gist. apnea in tse origina, wafer foiated Child fonn = Le. nterniugled with 2 call for action. This need not sin the Userapist who ean. aypport and boisterous? that can Adult control of dangerous behavior Margy had a great Teancoctioal Aeek. J. 1:4. October WEE ‘inadequacyANITA ENGLISH racket, “You're putting me down, boo hoo, just when I neod a bitle sel vonfidence! Margy had never been permitted sat her good mother who lad over protested the “poor half-blind hittle thing” Mother herself, however, had often expressed itation and inpa- tence. ‘One day the therapist lost her temper st Margy’s pemistent whining, but Margy was “sable” to be angry in re sponse, even when other group mem- bois pointed out that they would have in her place. She simply went en whin ing, which, in the past, had earned her sulty artical strokes from ber mother. With tceatment, Margy Teamned to identi fy feelings of fenced them for she experi back and forth. The boo-hoo #1 came superfiuons In contrast Stanley practiced a “hos. tility” racket to which he felt entitled Deeause of gruesome childhood his- tory. His mother had dicd when he was very yomg. apression of nostalgic, Foving feelings abont his doad mother cor even his father had been prohibited because they were too threatening to his father and stepmother, but Stanley was stoked for being a “ough guy.” In group, Stanley's hostility racket, with poten mean, prendo-sadistic verbiage became most appavent when warm fee ings were stinwhated, Stanley needed permission to be warm and loving! Suzmne exploited a “feoling hut” somi-depressive racket which appeared similar to Margy's, But the wnderging probibited feelings weve different. She was very intelligent and lie inquisition ness and “smartness” lad een teasing encouraged by her father to treaten the mother’s campelenee. After the par feats’ divorce which ocemred in Suzan e's childhood, ul father's disappear Tramietona Anal, I 1h Oocber 71 ns ance, Swann did that bring Init ann ler wae dros bt hy Fn ethan she could get ches from soother, alto sented to be nected Sweanme tins developed a. “seliro plvesieppening withdrawal sock to protest her from dhe temptation to be ingitve and to challenge, Treatment focassed on supporting Sioanne’s cri arity and sesvality, which sho had learned to hide even fom herself after father ee “Thess erie illustrated howe a racket developed strctarally within her, could lave become a game, played transactonnlly with er Iusband._ In Swranneés ease we etm sce how the racket substitutes both for a gennine aqest (euiosts) and for whet night Tave beon seri injnetion from father ~ (“challenge mother”). Rackets can also have episeriptaepects; Stanley kept trying to enlist thers fn joining him in Bis Iostity racket, n'a fies ef fort to ‘pass on” the “hot potato” of his exeesive fabricated rages, = Tihs, undeistanding the principle of the “suition factor” af rackets is ‘sential to. phme and sept analeis Fortunately, there are many cases where itis not even necessary to ert t gene or script analyse. because the racket fan be ahalished ae explained above, find the individnal “can Blossom with better ownership of authentic fetings ‘This point i of practical valve to teachers, who are Faced with childrens ckets fore they become ctablished ames, and in sitatione tht do. not Pernt laborate treatment "To a teacher {ay 1. Note vos ow essaperation, TE a lila cxpresed feelings repeatedly pathetic, yeu may he dealing with a racket 2, Dew attack the racket; watel the situation IF something oecors that bn 3 20 ‘THE SUNSTITUTION FACTOR: RACKETS AND REAL FEELINGS would make a oatiral child angey, but it makes this Quid sad, use the oppor tunity to encourage what rnay he eal CL thought you looked angry for a moment,” ancl... “if somgone tore my paper, Td feel and") ‘Tho chit may Aeny the feeling, but the teacher ean pensst in noticing end checking: (“Hap- pened again, and you've still not angry!") 3. If real feeling is expressed, stroke lavishly, even for the expression of an ‘macceptable” feeling, ("Tm glad you told me you've angry. ‘That's very natural feeling, right now”) 4. Tt may he helpful to a child te be told that the expression of a feeling, need not Tea him to act on it, if his Adult decides not to. Some teachers may be concemed by the idea that, no matter what happens in school, the child mast maintain cer tain emotional patterns at home. Jt fs still worthwhile for the teacher fo help the child's Adult know that, while certain expressions of feeling ¢ anger him at home, they ean be ex reseed! safely in other situations. The wld may’ need to enntinne ta hide, say, huis rage, at home, but now he knows how to identify it, Groundwork is laid foe Adult supervision of hie own be: havior rather than panicky Child sup: peestion of awvaneness. The ely has less need of axtificial “approved” feelings t0 substitate for real ones. A racket is kept from taking deep root when the child cean say to himself: “I may feel whatever 1 foal without fear. I can decide what I show and what I do.” REFERENCES, Meme, E, “Tevdng Stamps,” TAB. 93127, Ay 366t home, F Princoles of Group Treatment. Ox feed Universty Press NT. 1005 inilish, F“Epaseipt and tbe Hor Tote ‘Gime TAB 8:77 89, Ostaber 1009, Cartoon fr Me Morkeer™ mag ering dRACKETS AND REAL FEELINGS PART It ANITA ENGLISH, MSV. tn Part I] have detailed how people who indulge ia Rackets have expert need, in childhood, prohibitions about certain feeling and perception, but per roisson for others. Tackets are stylized repetitions of * permitted feelings” which were stroked in the past. They are expressed each time a real fecling (of a diferent cate gory) #8 shout to sunface ‘The substitution operates because the individual has trained himself to be not aware of cettain formerly. prohibited feelings or perceptions. The racket ver lates emotion, although i presents a Giferent pe of emotion than the one being fet. call this the “substittion factor” of rackets; this is why rackets are s0 tenacions in spite of confronta- tion, Yet the racket dissolves when the pationt becomes aware of the real {other) feelings or perceptions he is suppressing in the present. Often & racket is alo the overt m fesation of a Seript injusetion. Developmentally, @ Racket is often the prestisor of @ Game. Vestilation rough substitute Felings (ity a Fanta Bgl oa Teching Meme nd ciel pelle Bpte Troan Sos er sh {of the ate apparel he TAS Tit dete wt aes ieee idee oe feom TAT racket) is a structaral procedure af the Inxlividual who cures the racket. When he becomes skillful in Ulterior Trans- actions be can “hook” others into sup- porting his racket, offering ading stamps, or otherwise complementing it, ‘and the racket is thereby wansformed fnto a Game, In many cases Script or Game analysis ‘axe not necessary when the real feelings and perceptions that the Racket substi tates for can be appropriately brought into avwaraness, pevliips in a sexies of instances. The patient may need addi tional help in identifying the feclings 1d naming them, in order to “own” them. Thereby he ean learn to separate awareness from action (ie, Clild feck ings from Adult supervised actisty) Had he had good parenting he would Iuave learned! this in easly childhood. TE he fis not, the thesapist's ar teacher's ability. to deal with the “substitution factor” of rackets cau compensate effec: tively for dhis Jack. eal feelings and percep\ions are hhereanl-nnw responses to inten oF cestornal slime. auientie person ean allow himself to know and accept any and al] feelings at occu 4) hie Chil, whether his Parent likes them or not His Adult can separate feeling bom action; he can ako choote what and wher to show oF te express 23 Vel. 2 Wet Jan: 972. FANITA ENGLISH, Feelings and perceptions can be Tisted in three eategories, representing a developmental sequence, as follows I. Basie bodily eravings related to swreical, and sensuel perceptions: Hanger, thirst, cold, heat, sleep and other bodily feclings”(einenlatory, di gestive, glandular, ote.). Touch, sell heaving, seeing, vocalizing. Stroke Inger. Eventually, mator needs II, Reactions +0 having the above flfiled or frustrated, and to other e% terval stimuli auch as noise, rocking, jolls, warm mailk, stroking, rough en dling, ete. Ex: pleasure, comfort, pain, aiscoinfort, hte, endnese (fom less), joyfulness, ete. HL. Later stage cravings related to @rives which appear as the organism evelops, and reactions to having thes new cravings fulfilled or frustrated. Feelings in this category are more con plex than those in the other two bectuse heir particular manifestations have Gifferential characteristics ia humans "They are interwoven with imagination and thought, Bx.: Curiosity, exuberance, A. REAL, SPONTANEOUS APPETITES AND VEELIN 1. Basic bodily cravings, Stoke hiner, Fhysical expression (face, edly and and limbs). Locomotion. Perceptions Gone, tonch, eawng, sight). Nase 1, Comfort, discomfort. Contetnet jog fraction, pain, age tone {er onfostns cpt feting Ce Beco av yesing pets Sel foneen tf swine Hepes Sonipotent elie lated oak Aestay or eit) 4. lhyfuiness, aggressiveness, competitive: te, eng, sexi, teeereas, reg tino ong, need for metal growth, fox eutonomy, for atinaey ‘All fecling® in he Renvinely expe rienced in tha present, bt they ea also bye medels for Racket, Iti help to develop a vocabwiany to cstingwith be twain these ad elon T present some campasisons that Tyee. 1 nvite the fenders ldtiens and mestifeatins, Sinco inevitably there bs overlapping and there are personal cannatations ‘Under Column Ay name fclings as they appeat in tho gerving, wndiguised form. fn Colon BI Kt the eareatored forms of rackets Tf you woe thie Ist for laly in treatment, plese rexnomber that wen you identify a nacket Sn. Colom Bit substittes for feelings other then the equivalent real fecting of Calonn The sacket sigue Unt both sackety find real feelings of that pavticalar iiouping were penmitted 1s others, Schich you mast Sec in «diferent “A "rouping that were prohibited. So yok need. your Chil’s detective powers to tse th list wel, Good Tuck! B, RACKETS (ARTIFICIAL FEELINGS MASQUERADING AS REAL) wonie dististaction, restlessness, nervoumess” diss, etabiity, «x Ihnstion, deprivation (1 don't need.) overeating, vomiting, skool, hy persesalty, seme depressions, Peychosomatie ailments, eluding & estive, skin. and. byeathlog tuotbles. Syrcetness ad light” Sellvess. "Hurt oxen" Viti (ast), "Wait ing or Sunta.” Hoylesenes, persistent feassuanee demands, Picking) at self fn others (tortare™ racket) Mourning racket (explitaive). oe tity and violence. Suicklal and hows fédal thes, “Stpid dammy.", Conn fused, Hamed, “Lite boy los.” Anxi- cetye (*What sf.” alines Henny Pen. ny) snctont dna. 1 2:) January 1972m1 ats, nan ad ts (Choe, with enti, ema Teal te crete) te express ander, often ikea fe dhe aie nc ae Soares, compaievenss envy. Agen Fealings rated to developing need for seltidentiy (actuation) "and Recognition hunger, yeaming 19 re: Jates feclinge rested to. quis for Inténagy (empty). Sarinese Gens Ine regret Soro Sexvalty (raging. fom infantil to grown rosea srger and. forking) Those somatic: ovelsp with stoke Inunger Fee pyseay Genesativty. Reeling related te peor ‘eeative and productive need. Gen frosty. Human "OK" loelngs, com: ‘om, care, sympathy, loyal. Bisentil sovow or despa, (Avvare= noes f tho abeurdty and Semple of existence), Recngiton of uma fnBty aad the tomy. of Death A real “OK Solin with fll reson tion of the other. Heal Tis OK end you ore Fronectnnt Ae. 1.21, omery 1072 RACKERS AND REAL PEBLINGS Nervous inguletiveness and faye oop swing “bons ‘Ghecsivg eames ssh Rackety “Vin OK, yo fone icone (Avent you focky, Tovar nt) Hard nck Hel, Reboligaeness "nase got a bregk” "Unis unlar b sestiminded” tuning of. Violence Besksienpng 20 Iurrene we Shame. “If poople hw." Always en Danas, Dabdery,” weyeurtny cheer sym rome. “hacking” Sex victim, Overprctoctivensss. Excessive helfule hese "Sweet carablones and ure shoes” "Devated” (mother, vile, 4, cities, et) Chale resent CTW never ergive =) Svicded anal homklad rockets. Sane autor depreston sete. “Cre Pessimism, DestiuedeeneseVplenee ‘Chronic hallenging. “Death isthe eat come avysay, 0 that proves Phony, feast, aptiniim. Projected “hope.” “Always forgive “Tow could oo tis ona Cec ae Weaving loved ppc rch, Al you need ie Bsc, sect love "upatn © Hosriziry Kroner “Aduit it, Llewellyn. If T could read three thousand words minute, youd find something else abous me to reser.”