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Colleen OBrien

Dr. Zalar

INTR 3000

23 March 2017

The Tragic Downfall of the Biting Temptations and Longings of Sexuality

There are many different kinds of love, each seeking to fulfill different needs. Love is

expressed through friendship, family, and romantic partners. Yet, it is important to note that

romantic love should not be confused or synonymous with friendship. A friend is someone who

shares common interests, while a lover completes missing pieces of a puzzle. The necessary

condition for romantic love is freedom, without it, empowerment, appreciation, wholeness and

trust cannot develop. Sexuality, on the other hand, is synonymous with lust and includes

characteristics of possession, control, doubt, and parts, or pieces which do not belong together

and cannot create a whole. Sexuality attempts to satisfy longings for the attributes of romantic

love which include wholeness, privacy and purity, freedom, as well as appreciation admiration

by ones beloved.

In order to make sense of wholeness and parts in terms of romantic love and

sexuality, it is necessary to discuss Leon Kasss, Thinking About the Body. During the

Scientific Revolution, the human body was broken down into separate organs, tissues, nerves,

and blood vessels (278). Hu suggests bodily possession needs to be re-integrated in ordinary

conversation; the body needs to be inverted over mind to create existentialism. Kass states, Our

dignity consists not in denying but in thoughtfully acknowledging and elevating the necessity of

our embodiment, rightly regarding it as a gift to be cherished and respected (294). We view our

needs as problems that need to be rectified and relieved instantly, meaning we do not think about
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our needs, we just do them. Kass suggests that through thoughtfully acknowledging our dignity,

we can find what makes us whole.

Wholeness, one of the key elements of romantic love, is mentioned in both the Chinese

Erotic Poetry as well as the Song of Songs. Sexuality seeks to bring two similar, parts together,

while romantic love unifies complimentary pieces. Bai Xingjians poem, The Wedding Night,

states, Now they are husband and wife,/Yin united with Yang (5). Yin is attracted to Yang just

as a positively charged magnet is attracted to a negatively charged one. Two similar magnets

repel one another and dance in a circular force, each searching for attraction from their opposites.

Friendships, when entwined with romantic love, act like similarly charged magnets; commitment

and connection are weak, meaning the bond can be broken at any time. Yuan Zhen says, Like

two kinds of jade we go well together (4). He suggests that two different kinds of jade, like

people, connect with one another to form a whole. Therefore, sexuality acts as a place holder for

romantic love until it presents itself. One partner has a desire to be unified with another, but

cannot wait for the right person to come along.

The practice of courtship fulfills this longing and desire without the need for sexual

pleasure. During a period of courtship, a couple is put to the test to determine compatibility and

meetings are highly regulated by family. Courting couples should practice bodily and emotional

restraint in order to preserve purity, which is described through privacy, gardens, or vineyards.

As the Song of Songs states, If she is a wall, we will build upon it a silver parapet; If she is a

door, we will reinforce it with a cedar plank (8: 9). The young female mentioned in the quote is

on the verge of puberty, thus, the family is discussing ways to ensure she remains pure. Chapter

four of the Song of Songs, a lover tells his beloved, You are an enclosed garden, my sister,

my bride, an enclosed garden, a fountain sealed (4: 12). He is pleased she left her body a
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mystery so he could be the one to explore its beautiful mysteries. Letting the mind wonder,

allows for the unification of two complimentary parts, or love-making, between two beloveds to

be special and passionate. On the other hand, lustful sex is equated to animalistic desires that

lack passion, and are instead driven by urges. Cleopatra, tactfully seduces Antony visually by

creating the spectacle of the bargewhere nothing is left to the imagination, as described by

Enobarbus. He says, And, for his ordinary, pays his heart/ For what his eyes eat only (II

.ii.231-232). Antonys heart suffers because he gives over to lustful temptation, so his eyes may

be pleased rather than fulfilled by romantic love.

Control, guided by lust and sexuality, seeks to satisfy a longing for the emancipating

freedom harbored by romantic love. Cleopatra ensnares Antony through her seduction and

especially uses it to her advantage during the siege of Alexandria. She asks Mardian to tell him I

have slain myself:/ Say that the last I spoke was Antony (IV .xiii.7). Cleopatra, throughout the

entire play, loses herself in her quest for power and control over Antony; she treats him as though

he is a game to be played. Her love is blinded by lust. Antonys hardened life leaves him

vulnerableonce he tasted the forbidden fruit, Antony lets temptation guide his decisions. He

yearns for the absolute freedom Cleopatras kingdom allows him. However, freedom born from

romantic love has limits out of the best interest of the other. Taking into consideration the

common good and the best interests of ones beloved, allows for selflessness, trust, and

integrity to develop. Yet, words of caution come from the Song of Songs: Do not arouse, do

not stir up love before its own time (3: 5). Romantic love should not develop quickly it needs to

age like a fine wine. A love affair that develops too suddenly, can be tragic; it errs on the verge of

loss of control or too much control. However, there may be a rare instance where the common

good needs to be abandoned to act in the best interest of the other. For example, a woman,
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diagnosed with a terminal illness, cannot drive herself to treatments because they make her weak.

It is the partners duty to help the woman, even if it may require missing work a few days a week

a beloved will do whatever it takes to Love requires continual work, but does not seek to

change the other, unlike Cleopatra working to de-harden Antonys rigid Roman lifestyle in order

to control him.

The slow progression of a romantic love affair also allows for equal appreciation of both

partners, as described by metaphors to exotic fruits, nature, and animals in the Song of Songs

and Chinese Erotic Poetry. For example, the man in the Chinese Erotic Poem, White

Moonshine, says, The white rising moon/ is your bright beauty/ binding me in spells/ till my

hearts devoured (1). He is so enamored with his beloveds beauty that he equates it to the glow

of the moon, and is causing his heart to melt away. Similarly, a woman in Chapter five of the

Song of Songs describes her lover as radiant and ruddy; he stands out among the thousands.

His head is pure gold; his locks are palm fronds, black as raven (5: 10-11). Her lover glows, and

is likened to precious metal, who has thick, dark, luxurious hair. It is important to note that each

of these examples touches upon the romantic gaze experienced by a lover. The metaphors are

passionate and full of romance, and do not describe the gaze as a carnal desire. Rather, it is

something exotic and beautiful that should be cherished; My lover belongs to me and I to him;

he browses among the lilies (6: 3). A lover takes their time when exploring the other, being as

delicate and gentle as a flower. Lustful sex, on the contrary, attempts to make sure both parties

are satisfied as quickly as possible. Bodily exploration is rough and driven by urges and longing

for appreciation, and often times the two partners vie for control.

In conclusion, sexuality or lustful encounters aim to fulfill longing for romantic and all of

its attributes. The two parts in this attempt of unification will never become whole because If I
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lose mine honor/ I lose myself (III .iv.22-23). These individuals are incapable of giving the gift

of love, at the current moment because they are not in possession of their selves. Sexual relations

driven only by temptations and carnal desire, often lead to control and doubt. In the case of

Antony and Cleopatra, Cleopatra doubts Antony as he leaves to go back to Rome and continually

sends messages to him, and once he is in her possession, Cleopatra tries to turn Antony into a

being who seeks a life a total freedom and pleasure. Romantic love on the other hand, aims to

create emancipating freedom rooted in trust and best interest. Love also needs purity and

protection of secret gardens. Therefore, the family may invoke a period of courtship to test

compatibility and keep a watchful eye. Love may require work and slow progression, but will

always be grounded in the good of the otherit is a continual work to ensure Yin and Yang are

in balance.