FRIENDS WITH FALLACIES
Mikee: *crying*
Jela: Hey girrl, wassup?
Gina: Oh my gosh! Are you crying? Oh my! Wipe yourself! *hands over
handkerchief*
Jela: Care to tell us what happened?
Mikee: Reivenhehecheated on me with another girl! I saw him with her at the
mall today! I cant believe it. I gave him everything he wants. I loved him with all
that I am! How could he do this to me?! HOW?!
Jela: And here I thought somebody died.
Gina: Brush it off, mikee! Im sure youll find another guy. Hmmm, how about
Riguel? I heard hes a pretty nice guy.
Mikee: Tsss, forget it! Every guys the same. Theyll court you like a puppy
desperate for attention and when they find another girl, theyll drop like a hot
burritto, just like that. *cries*
Jela: Come on, thats so like dicto simpliciter. You cant hate all men just because
one guy cheated on you. Right? *looks at Gina*
Gina: What? What can I say? My ex-boyfriend was a jerk. I therefore conclude all
men are jerks.
Jela: Gina, I think you are committing a hasty generalization. And besides, its a
given youre unlucky with guys. You sprayed that no-forever cologne when we
were freshmen, remember? I cant help but laugh on how you sprayed it to yourself
despite the fact it is water from the lake.
*flashback*
Jela: You really shouldnt spray that. Dont believe what Mikee says. That girl is evil!
She doesnt want you to experience true love thats why shes pushing to spray
that!
Mikee: Look, Jela. Stop poisoning the well. Im just saying that, that spray is not true.
Ive tried it before and look how Im going steady with Reiven. And besides, Ive
already promised Gina that if she sprayed that to herself, Ill give her a thousand
pesos.
Gina: Its fine. Ill just spray it anyways. I really need the money. I havent bought
our book in Auditing. And my dad doesnt want to give me money after he found out
what I did to my tuition fee. Im really broke right now.
Jela: I see how you are appealing to pity. Fine, suit yourself.
*Gina sprays and it smells awful, everybody caughs*
Gina: Ewwwwww!
*end of flashback*
Gina: Post hoc! Thats very irrelevant! Besides, its not true. God, how old are you,
believing in those kind of cheesy stuff?
Jela: Hmph!
Mikee: How could he do this to me?! If it werent for me, he wouldnt have gotten
that scholarship! If it werent for MY money, he wont be wearing that branded shirt!
And most of all, if it werent for me, no one would even notice him, that lotion-loving
person!
Gina: Calm down, you know thats all hypothesis contrary to fact. But let me ask you
a question, mikee. If an object is all black and all white at the same time, what color
is it?
Mikee: WhaI dont know! Its not the right time for your arguments with
contradictory premises! Come on, Im feeling very horrible right now.
Gina: Precisely, you dont know anything! I think you should stick to studying for
now. Love can wait. Right, Jela?
Jela: I agree.
Mikee: But, I cant go on without a boyfriend! I need to be loved, protected. I need
someone to check on me once in a while, someone to wait for me after school,
somebody to buy me pizza and ice cream when I get hungry. Ill probably starve to
death without a boyfriend.
Jela: Aside from the fact that I think your being fallacious because you just said an
argument of Ad misericordiam, I also think youre missing the point of the whole
boyfriend thing. Dont you have food at home? Mygosh!
Gina: You, my friend, are like a nail. Just as nails must be hit in the head in order to
make them think and work, so must you be as well. Can I hit you now?
Jela: Thats false analogy! Stop it, Gina!
Gina: If she didnt accept the pan de coco given to her by Reiven, then this wouldnt
happen!
*flashback*
*Mikee and Jela walking, sees Reiven*
Jela: Oh my gosh, I think hes here for you! Isnt that cute?
Mikee: Pssh, so what? I dont like him. Its no doubt he is a playboy. Every boy from
his block is known for switching girlfriends every week.
Jela: Oh stop with the generalization! Oh my, is thathes brought you your favorite
pan de coco!
Mikee: As if Id fall for that!
Reiven: Hi mikee!
Mikee: Hi.
Reiven: UhmmmIve brought you favorite, pan de coco, because my love for you
is like a pan de coco. Its circle, which means, its never-ending.
Jela: I think thats likea false analogy?
Mikee: No! Its actually very romantic.
Reiven: So, will you be my girlfriend?
Mikee: Sure.
Jela: Whaaat? Wait, let me talk to you
*talks to Mikee in the corner*
Jela: What were you thinking? You cant be his girlfriend that fast!
Mikee: What? You pushed me to him! I said yes!
Jela: But you cant when its because of a pan de coco!
Mikee: I can because it is pan de coco! Im very hungry you know, and he felt that.
Our stomachs must be feeling each other. We are meant to be!
Jela: You know what, your logic freaks me out sometimes.
*end of flashback*
Mikee: Be careful what you say. Thats clearly a hypothesis contrary to fact! Its not
the pan de cocos fault! *cries*
Jela: You guys, stop. Reiven cheated because he is a narcissistic and selfish psycho.
If he want to talk to you, dont. Hell just want to defend his ego. His pride cant
afford being dumped. You should just forget him.
Gina: Hey guys~ I dont think we should be poisoning the well. Reiven just posted a
photo on Instagram. Is this the girl? *shows mikee the phone*
Mikee: Yes! That!
Gina & Jela: Just got home from SM. I missed you very much, cuz! #cousins *looks
accusingly at mikee* MIKEEEE~
