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Men's Rules for Relationships

1. The document provides "rules" from a male perspective on relationships with women. It lists over 20 brief "rules" with sarcastic and sometimes insensitive commentary on topics like sports, shopping, chores, and communication. 2. The rules suggest that men are not mind readers, want women to be direct about what they want, and may not remember or care about things said long ago in arguments. 3. The author encourages sharing the rules with women to get a laugh, though some of the content could understandably be found offensive by female readers.

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Roland Schimpf
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1K views2 pages

Men's Rules for Relationships

1. The document provides "rules" from a male perspective on relationships with women. It lists over 20 brief "rules" with sarcastic and sometimes insensitive commentary on topics like sports, shopping, chores, and communication. 2. The rules suggest that men are not mind readers, want women to be direct about what they want, and may not remember or care about things said long ago in arguments. 3. The author encourages sharing the rules with women to get a laugh, though some of the content could understandably be found offensive by female readers.

Uploaded by

Roland Schimpf
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as RTF, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

LADIES WE'VE GOT THIS COVERED The Man RULES We always hear " the rules" From the

female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOS ! 1. !en are NOT mind readers. 1. "earn to wor# the toilet seat. $ou%re a bi& &irl. 'f it%s u() (ut it down. We need it u() you need it down. $ou don%t hear us *om(lainin& about you lea+in& it down. 1. Sunday S(orts,Football 't%s li#e the full moon or the *han&in& of the tides. "et it be. 1. Sho((in& is NOT a s(ort. -nd no) we are ne+er &oin& to thin# of it that way. 1. .ryin& is bla*#mail. 1. -s# for what you want. "et us be *lear on this one/ Subtle hints do not wor#! Stron& hints do not wor#! Ob+ious hints do not wor#! 0ust say it! 1. $es and No are (erfe*tly a**e(table answers to almost e+ery 1uestion. 1. .ome to us with a (roblem only if you want hel( sol+in& it. That%s what we do. Sym(athy is what your &irlfriends are for. 1. -nythin& we said 2 months a&o is inadmissible in an ar&ument. 'n fa*t) all *omments be*ome Null and 3oid after 4 5ays. 1. 'f you thin# you%re fat) you (robably are. 5on%t as# us. 1. 'f somethin& we said *an be inter(reted two ways and one of the ways ma#es you sad or an&ry) we meant the other one 1. $ou *an either as# us to do somethin& Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

'f you already #now best how to do it) 6ust do it yourself. 1. Whene+er (ossible) Please say whate+er you ha+e to say durin& *ommer*ials.. 1. .hristo(her .olumbus did NOT need dire*tions and neither do we. 1. Remember this) if it it*hes) it will be s*rat*hed. We do that. 1. 'f we as# what is wron& and you say "nothin&)" We will a*t li#e nothin&%s wron&. We #now you are lyin&) but it is 6ust not worth the hassle. 1. 'f you as# a 1uestion you don%t want an answer to) 7(e*t an answer you don%t want to hear. 1. When we ha+e to &o somewhere) absolutely anythin& you wear is fine... Really . 1. 5on%t as# us what we%re thin#in& about unless you are (re(ared to dis*uss su*h to(i*s as eatin& and s(orts. 1. $ou ha+e enou&h *lothes. 1. $ou ha+e too many shoes. 1. ' am in sha(e. Round 'S a sha(e! 1. Than# you for listenin& to our side. $es) ' #now) ' ha+e to slee( on the *ou*h toni&ht8 9ut did you #now men really don%t mind that: 't%s li#e *am(in&. Feel free to Pass this to as many men as you *an ; to &i+e them a lau&h. Pass this to as many women as you *an ; to &i+e them an e+en bi&&er lau&h

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