Change Your Image
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neil-476
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The list is in reverse order down to number 20. Then I decided to add more films.
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I have tried to leave out films where a central character simply isn't funny (nearly every Jack Black film, for instance).
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How effing stupid.
This list features films with one, maybe two, F-bombs which add nothing to the film except causing offence. This is not to say that the films are kids' films - they're not - but they are mostly targetted towards an audience on the young side and/or with an expectation of family viewing (albeit not young children)
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Reviews
The Crow (2024)
No better than o4dinary
Eric and Shelly are murdered at the behest of a crime boss. Eric is returned to life as an unkillable agent of vengeance.
The Crow was originally a comic series by writer/artist Jamie O'Barr, setting out the basic plot detailed above. It was an attempt to make sense of the death of a loved one, and was a bleak and unhappy piece, in stark black and white. The Crow was filmed effectively 30 years ago by Alex Proyas, although that film will forever be under a cloud due to the tragic death of star Brandon Lee in an on-set shooting accident.
This version rewrites much of the detail, in particular the antagonist. In the previous movie, Michael Wincott was a stereotypical thug gang-leader, and that was fine - the story needed little more than stereotypes, and Wincott was pleasingly vile.
Here, Danny Huston is a great villain. He is urbane, but has a dark arts gift of ordering people to do awful things, an ability gained while searching for immortality (which he is keen to extract from Eric). Other unnecessary story elements have been added: backstory for Eric and Shelly, an intermediate staging are between life and what follows, a kind of Spirit guide chap...
The thing about this story is that it works best when kept pure and simple, dealing just with the huge dark issues of love, loss and vengeance. And in all this other stuff, and you dilute the heart of the story.
Bill Skarsgard doesn't really give Eric the charisma he needs, pre- or post-death. I think, in an effort to keep Eric relatable, they've added pain to his unkillability, again diluting the purity of the original concept.
There is an extremely graphic battle in an opera house, albeit it suffers from John Wick syndrome of endless assailants appearing, pair after pair.
This film is very ordinary.
Despicable Me 4 (2024)
Fun
The problems Gru is encountering bonding with his new son are put on hold when the family have to be relocated with new identities due to supervillain Maxime's vendetta. Add in assorted complications, including would-be supervising next-door neighbour Poppy, who threatens to blow their cover, and a bunch of enhanced super-powered Minions, and you have a story which is every bit as chaotic and nonsensical as anything which has gone before.
You have to not expect sense from Despicable Me. Action, silliness, laughter and heart, yes, but sense? I don't think so.
This is the mixture as we've come to expect it, albeit with a different story and different details - everything is different except for one recycled joke (which is still funny). And, although the Minions are not at the heart of the film, they still earn the lion's share of the laughs.
This was great fun.
Trap (2024)
Pretty good
Cooper takes daughter Riley to a huge concert by superstar Lady Raven. There seems to be a vast amount of security which, he discovers, is because the authorities believe notorious serial killer The Butcher will be attending, and they are determined to catch him. Given that Cooper is The Butcher, this poses a problem for him. But he's very resourceful at solving problems...
Written and directed by M Night Shyamalan. Hmm. Well, this man has some hits on his CV. But there are some pretty massive misses too. And this one features his daughter Saleka playing Lady Raven and writing and performing the music - are we to see nepotism added to the hubris we have seen all too frequently?
It's good news, folks! This is a decent no-frills suspense thriller with some very pleasing performance. Josh Hartnett is sympathetic and chilling as Cooper, and Saleka Shyamalan acquits herself well both musically and dramatically as Lady Raven. But, for me, this film belonged to Ariel Donoghue as Riley, a teen thoroughly enraptured by the occasion while being puzzled by Dad's odd behaviour. And the suspense continues beyond the point where you expect a resolution.
I enjoyed this a lot.
Borderlands (2024)
A shambles
Intergalactic bounty hunter Lilith is engaged to find Tiny Tina for her father, only to discover that she has already been found by soldier Roland and, er, man-type thing Krieg. Together with a hobby robot Claptrap and Liliths's estranged foster mother they embark on a quest for The Vault, to which they believe Tina may hold the key.
I liked the trailer for this, and I love big brash colourful scifi, especially with a dash of humour, and especially when the cast includes Cate Blanchett, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Hart, and Jack Black.
Then I watched it.
To be fair, not everything went wrong, but the stuff that went right was largely "borrowed " from elsewhere. Production design is good, but the heavy lifting was done years ago by Tank Girl (remember that?) and various incarnations of Mad Max. Special effects are good, thank you Star Wars and Guardians Of The Galaxy. Humour - well, I think we can forget humour since it is conspicuous by its absence. The story is hugely derivative, as are the characters. Another sassy robot? Oh joy. Let's also mention a lot of extremely loud sound which drowns out some fairly important expository dialogue.
The film is based on a series of video games, and some of the criticisms may be more fairly aimed at the source material. But whether the fault lies with the source material, script or director (the latter two are Eli Roth) you know a film is in trouble when the word "fault" suggests itself so readily.
This thing is a mess in every way that matters. No, let's be fair - several of the performances are adequate.
Deadpool & Wolverine (2024)
Huge fun
Deadpool is recruited by the TVA to humanely euthanasia his timeline. The Merc with a mouth has other ideas, and recruits an alternate Wolverine to put his plan into operation.
It's really difficult to comment in any detail about this film without giving away any of the host of cameos, Easter eggs, and assorted little surprises which fill this film. So let me say that, in using this film to bring the X-Men franchise fully into the MCU, Marvel have done a great job.
Yes, it is very much a Deadpool movie. It's full of foul language, crude humour, and graphic violence, and far more so than its predecessors (the violence, although graphic, is also, perversely, much less serious than previously). And Deadpool breaks the 4th wall, and the script is very funny. Disney/Marvel have embraced Deadpool wholeheartedly and with love.
Because for all the disrespect (the film respects Logan's death in Logan, but hilariously disrespects quite a lot else about that film), this film displays huge love for the world of Marvel, and I don't mean just the MCU from Iron Man onwards.
This film had a difficult job to do, and did it superbly.
Fly Me to the Moon (2024)
Pleasing enough
Kelly has a gift for marketing, perhaps because she doesn't feel constrained by little things like the truth. So when dodgy government operative Moe muscles her in to hard sell the 1969 moon mission for NASA, she is able to do a good job, notwithstanding the reservations of h3ad honcho Cole. But things go in a problematic direction when Mo enforces a contingency plan.
This is a big budget romcom, essentially, with the comedy being fairly low key. Based solidly on real events, albeit with a big chunk of "maybe it happened, maybe it didn't " dropped into the third act, much of it depends on Scarlet Johansson and Channing Tatum convincing as the two protagonists. Johansson does so with ease, Tatum less so (to be fair, his character is far more difficult to sell).
This is entertaining enough, although I thought the entertainment value was slighter than the resources devoted to the film,
Twisters (2024)
Decent undemanding fun
After three close friends died, Kate gave up storm chasing in Tornado Alley. But old fried Javi persuades her to join him in testing new twister killer tech. And then their high tech team falls foul of brash Twister YouTube Tyler.
The biggest niggle I had with this movie was the tech, which required a) surrounding a rapidly moving tornado with three units in order to triangulate it, and then b) drive your twister killer jollop into the middle of the tornado aka suicide a la Pa Kent.
Otherwise, this is a decent enough special effects extravaganza, with characters and plot constructed efficiently and effectively. Daisy Edgar-Jones is punky and sympathetic as Kate.
MaXXXine (2024)
Not half as good as it thinks it is
Porn star Maxine Minx has on opportunity to enter the cinematic mainstream. But seedy private eye middleman Kevin Bacon is looking to make things difficult for her. And there is a serial killer out there mopping up girls in Maxine's circle.
This is the third film in a trilogy, and I was unaware of the previous two: backstory may have helped. As a standalone movie, this is a dour, unsavoury affair, populated by unpleasant characters doing unpleasant things, with a deeply unlikely climax. Some very talented people join a writer/director who believes he is an auteur, but who turns out to be a bit of a hack but with pretensions.
A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
Not bad
Terminal cancer patient Sam agrees to a theatre trip to New York as long as she gets to have pizza from a place she fondly remembers. But events are interrupted by the arrival of savage aliens, blind but with acute hearing. Sam's quest for pizza suddenly got a lot more difficult.
This third film in the franchise abandons the family of the first two movies and takes us on unlikely journey with the initially unlikeable Sam. Anyone expecting more detail about the aliens is going to be disappointed.
But I think this was a good idea. By the end of the second film I was finding the aliens difficult to find believable, not to mention getting thoroughly irritated by the human inability to develop any strategies to fight back. At least here they don't yet know what they're up against. And the small, human story, set against a huge background, works well.
Inside Out 2 (2024)
Flawed by a hugely unlikeable character
Riley is now 13, and big changes are on the horizon. Her two besties are off to different high schools, she wants to do well at intensive ice hockey summer camp (where she wants to impress her hero), and a new control desk is installed to accommodate a new batch of emotions; Embarrassment, Envy, Ennui, and Anxiety.
This second instalment has the same major strength as the original: a very creative visualisation of the way out emotional identities develop and work themselves out. But there are two major missteps here.
One, Anxiety is hugely unsympathetic, overwhelmingly so. In the first film, Sadness was annoying, yet remained sympathetic. Anxiety, on the other hand, alienates the viewer.
Two, Riley is a bit of a brat. Yes, I know, I was 13 once, and the fact that she makes bad choices is of course at the heart of the plot. But it is more difficult to empathise with her then it was with the sad, displaced child in the first film.
The inventiveness, the incredible visuals are all there, but I wasn't as on board as I was first time round.
IF (2024)
Pleasing
12-year old Bea is staying in New York while her father undergoes surgery, something which triggers anxieties over memories of her mother's death. And she begins to see things. Specifically, she discovers that the apartment upstairs is host to a number of wildly diverse Imaginary Friends, all of whom have been forgotten by the now grown children they once accompanied. Together with their grumpy minder Cal, who can also see them, Bea sets out to reunite IFs and people.
This take on Imaginary Friends is rather more grounded than the slapstick Drop Dead Fred from some years ago, but no less sentimental - there is some watering of eyes, to be sure. I'm not sure it all makes sense - there are some gaps in the internal logic - but I don't think that really matters.
Writer/director John Krasinski does a good job, not least in playing Dad. Ryan Reynolds is a likeable grouch as Cal, and there is a stellar voice cast as the IFs. But this film belongs to Cailey Fleming, who is a revelation as Bea.
There is a very pleasing reveal towards the end.
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
A little muddled here and there, but a lot to enjoy
Generations after Caesar led the apes to freedom, he has faded into mythology as various clans have formed their own little cultures. Noa's father is the leader of a clan which is based on using eagles for hunting, but a militant clan led by King Proxima Caesar captures most of them, to be labour to find their way into a coastal man-made vault. Noa seeks to rescue them in the company of a philosophical orang-utan and a mysterious human girl.
Apart from checking in at the original Caesar's funeral, this film treads entirely new ground (albeit rooted in the events of the more recent trilogy), and is all the better for that. When it references the past, it is by way of sly nods - the orang-utan's face is modelled on Paul Giamatti in the Wahlberg Apes movie, there is a cheeky shot copied from one in the first Heston film etc.
It's a decent story although exposition is sometimes muddled: names aren't clear, motives aren't obvious. Performances are good and, of course, visuals are excellent: the boundary between CGI and reality is invisible, and the realisation of ruined and overgrown civilization is incredible. Post-apocalyptic has never looked so good.
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
Maybe you'll enjoy it: I didn't
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
In a prequel to Mad Max: Fury Road, we learn the background to supporting character Furiosa from her childhood to the point when Mad Max: Fury Road started.
I seemed to be alone in thinking Mad Max: Fury Road was all style and no substance: an empty mess of great stunts, eye-catching desert scenery, impressive action, cardboard characters, a perfunctory plot, and no emotion.
Guess what? Furiosa is more of the same. Yes, it looks good. Yes, the action is well presented (although there are times when it's really difficult to follow what's going on). Yes, you find out how she lost her arm (see also 127 Hours, Deadpool).
But there is no audience identification, no involvement whatsoever. I simply didn't care about any of these characters. Which was also the case with the previous film.
Anya Taylor-Joy takes over from Charlize Theron as the adult Furiosa in a part which requires her to clamber around on a big truck and look angry, and little else. Chris Hemsworth delivers a career-worst performance (cheer up, Chris, plenty of time to go further downhill). The only character who engenders any sympathy - well, you don't actually see what happens to him, although it doesn't look promising.
I love post-apocalyptic fiction, but the Mad Max films have never really delivered what I was looking for. And this one is a lamentable, loud, empty mess.
The Fall Guy (2024)
Enjoyable enough
Stuntman Colt Seavers is enjoying a career as stunt double for box office star Tom Ryder, as well as a promising romance with camerawoman Jody when a dreadful accident takes him out of the game. 18 months later, he is persuaded to return as Jody directs her first feature film.
Let me start by saying Ryan Gosling is Colt and Emily Blunt is Jody and neither of them is a reason for me to get out of my chair and go to the cinema, notwithstanding that both of them have made films in which they have been rather good. I'm just not a fan of either of them.
Yet there I was, watching a film which was rather inaccurately labelled a comedy romance.
This is based on an 80s TV series in which stuntman Colt did bounty hunting in his spare time, the title being basically no more than a loose pun on what stuntmen do. Here, that title is nicely used as one of the central elements of the plot, which was more action thriller than comedy romance. I quite enjoyed the story and the stunts. Gosling did some acting here and there, and Emily Blunt did some Emily Blunting all the way through.
For what it was, it was an entertaining couple of hours.
Tarot (2024)
Good idea, bad script
A group of students find a deck of tarot cards, and one of them reads their fortunes. It turns out that there is a history to those cards. And it's not good.
This is a fairly routine horror movie in which the BigBad works its way through the unfortunate group. And the young cast does its best with the material and there are some decent directorial flourishes, although there is far too much reliance on clichés. Sudden loud noises are too frequent, and creeping around in the darkness means that there are big chunks where you don't know what's going on because you can't see it (to be fair, there are a couple of places where darkness is used quite creatively).
But this film is let down by the screenplay. Far too much of it is there because 'This would be cool", not because it makes sense or is consistent with anything else. BigBad can apparently manifest an entire theatre complete with ghoulish audience, yet can be scared off by someone opening a door. Characters lose and gain personality traits at the drop of a hat.
Kudos for the end, though.
Abigail (2024)
Quite good fun
A group of assorted criminal specialists is recruited in order to kidnap and babysit 12 year old Abigail from her ballet lessons, as part of a ransom scheme. It turns out that they weren't fully briefed.
This crime-turned-horror movie has two main features: a slyly humorous script, and bucketloads of gore. I won't spoil the (slight) plot twist, because just possibly you're going to see it cold, but it's openly in the trailer. The story is quite good, the characters are enjoyable, and the tale is entertainingly told, with a satisfying resolution.
The most annoying character gets knocked off first, which is pleasing.
I quite enjoyed this.
Challengers (2024)
Disappointing
We meet Art and Tashi. Art is a tennis Grand Slam winner who is going through a bad patch and Tashi is his wife and coach. To get him back into a winning frame of mind, Tashi enters him into a knockout challenge competition, where he is matched against down-and-out Patrick. He and Patrick were at tennis school together as kids: they met prodigy Tashi through tennis, and they both have history with her.
The relationships between the three principals is at the heart of this film - the two guys (there is unquestionably a relationship which is more nuanced than mere friendship), each of them with Tashi, and the three of them as a trio.
The film is told through a series of flashbacks (it is sometimes a little difficult following what happened when, notwithstanding the flashbacks being dated) and the relationships change as time goes on.
Tennis features heavily, of course, but is shown in a fairly stylised manner with little attention to the actual progress of any matches except the framing match.
I knew nothing about this film going in other than that Zendaya, who I like a lot, is in it. I don't think this film does her many favours, though, because Tashi becomes less likeable as the movie progresses, and doesn't give her the opportunity to do much acting beyond being thoughtfully down in the mouth and mildly cross.
This is compounded by the fact that neither Art nor Patrick are particularly sympathetic either. So, given that the story is essentially about the relationships between three fairly unlikeable characters, it is difficult to care. And the film pushes towards the results of the Challenger competition duel being critical to both of them, and then cops out with a deliberately indecisive ending.
Zendaya produced, so this was obviously something of a pet project for her. I hope future projects are a bit better thought through than this one.
Monkey Man (2024)
Good first film
A young man takes part in illicit cage fighting, and works his way into a job at a brothel. This is all with a view to revenge.
Dev Patel, lead actor, creator of story, co-writer of screenplay, co-producer, and first-time director, makes a fair job of this revenge-based action thriller. Sometimes the visual flourishes sacrifice storytelling clarity in favour of flash and style, but not too much.
It all gets a bit John Wick towards the end, and I don't mean that in a good way. I know there are those who think Mr Protagonist polishing off a never-ending series of faceless adversaries is wonderful: I'm one of those who thinks that the longer it goes on, the more ludicrous it gets. And there's a touch of that here.
But, on the whole, not bad. His next film will be worth looking forward to.
Civil War (2024)
Too inconsequential for a full impact
N contemporary (but fictitious) USA an ugly civil war is taking place between government forces and an insurrectionist militia led by a secessionist coalition between Texas and California. Jaded war photographer Lee is heading from New York to Washington, accompanied by her journalist partner Joel, keen young would-be photojournalist Jesse, and ageing mentor Sammy. The journey is not straightforward.
It wasn't until the credits rolled that I was aware that this was an Alex Garland film. I have seen Ex Machina and Annihilation, and both were films which I wanted to enjoy more than I did. I think I felt, in both cases, there was an intellectual subtext which, for a dimwit like me, took attention away from an otherwise straightforward and entertaining sci-fi yarn.
Civil War is, if anything, the opposite way round. There is no story as such, simply a trip during which things happen. We never find out what the civil war is about, what happened, what divides or unites the factions. We just see the effects of the war on civilians and combatants, as well as on an eerily unspecific class halfway between, people who are prepared to defend themselves and their property with armed force. The lines between combatants, people defending themselves, vigilantes, and outright murderers become very very blurred, and perhaps that's the point. There are plenty of questions but no answers.
The film is very well staged. It always feels real. A landscape caught up in civil war in the modern era is well conveyed, as are the population reacting to it, all in different ways, as best they can. Sound design is very effective especially when used for some shockingly effective gunshots.
The characters don't lend themselves to viewer identification and the film overall is surprisingly unemotional. To the extent that there are character arcs, Lee is desensitised through years of war photography, while newcomer Jess still finds it all too close. For me the most effective emotional moment (in a negative way - Spoiler alert) came at the end, when Lee is killed pushing Jess out of the way of a burst of gunfire while Jess acknowledges the sacrifice with a backward glance while pressing on in pursuit of the photo.
The film is somewhat dispiriting, and never really goes anywhere definite, but it certainly gave me some food for thought.
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)
Good luck following it if you're not up to date with the continuity
Kong has a toothache and Godzilla goes sightseeing in Rome.
The thing about this film is that there is previous continuity you need to know. The corporation Monarch monitors Titans - huge potentially (and often actually) destructive monsters. Godzilla and Kong both work against Titans but they hate each other, so Godzilla lives on Earth's surface while Kong lives in Hollow Earth (don't ask, watch the previous film).
Things follow on from the setup established in previous continuity, and you might be a bit lost in places if you don't know about Monarch, Hollow Earth, and the Godzilla/Kong grudgefest.
Having said that, this is a non-stop special effects extravaganza. Monsters kick the manure out of each other pretty much from start to finish, with a little bit of human interest every now and then to keep us invested. If you want eye candy, this film has it in industrial quantities.
But this is basically a B feature with a huge budget.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
Fun and nostalgic
The Spengler family (Mom, Trevor (18), Phoebe (15)) and Gary, all from Ghostbusters: Afterlife, are now living in the firehouse in New York, ghostbusting away until the Mayor (Peck, from the original films) seeks to close them down, fulfilling a 40 year grudge. This coincides with the arrival of an ice demon chap, who can freeze the proton pack streams. Ooer!
The new generation merges nicely and organically with the originals, although this film very much belongs to McKenzie Grace as Phoebe (honourable mention to Paul Rudd, whose easygoing charm serves him well here, especially in a scene involving Ray Parker's lyrics: could have been cheesy, turns out funny).
Kunail Nanjiani is as funny as usual, and British comedian James Acaster tries a bit too hard in a role which is sizeable and pretty much straight.
To be frank, the story is nothing to write home about, but it's functional. And, like many others I imagine, I sat there with a huge smile most of the time at the numerous callbacks to movies which I enjoyed so much all those years ago.
Mothers' Instinct (2024)
Early promise becomes routine thriller
Celine and Alice are affluent next door neighbours, best friends, and each has a son: they are also best friends. Celine's son dies in an accident: does she blame Alice? Anne Hathaway is Celine and Jessica Chastain is Alice.
The first half of this movie is very good stuff. The introduction is an exercise in exposition: it does the job slickly and quickly. Then, after the accident, the depiction of how everyone deals with grief in the context of their own relationships is complex, painful and entirely convincing.
Then the movie enters psychological thriller territory. Is Celine up to nefarious shenanigans? Is it just her dealing with her grief? Or is Alice manifesting unnamed issues which she apparently suffered from in the past?
This second part is a good deal less convincing than the first part, and is fairly disappointing by comparison with the start. We've seen it a hundred times, even if we're not sure how it's going to play out.
Immaculate (2024)
Well done Sydney
Cecilia dies for 7 minutes which leads to her seeking a purpose for her survival, so she makes her vows at a convent in Italy. Of course, old Italian convents are creepy, people are suspicious, and bad dreams suggest worrying stuff is on the way. But when that includes pregnancy despite any, you know, dot dot dot, what will people at the convent think?
This horror movie threatened to go in one direction but went in another, which I quite liked: the early surprise scares proved to be a bit of misdirection. I liked the story.
For most of the film's length, I wondered at the 18 certificate but, by the very end, I got it. The film was very atmospheric, aided by the location. And Cecilia?
This is the third Sydney Sweeney film I've seen in fairly quick succession. I went into the first thing thinking she was a pretty girl capitalising on her boobs. After a romcom, superhero movie, and horror, two of which are self-produced, tell me I was wrong. She's a good actress and has real screen presence. She anchors this film.
The Diabolical (2015)
Yes, and then what?
Single mother Madison and her two children suffer some horrible creepy grisly menacing thing appearing in the night. Far from accepting the generous offer to buy their house, offered by some sketchy businessman, Madison stays put and subjects her kids to more disturbing events. Instead, she has ago at her son for reacting badly at school, and recruits her scientist boyfriebd to fing a solution.
Full of the usual horror film signature elements, this film leads us up the garden path by being something it's pretending not to be. And that's fine, because it does it quite well. It gives us an explanation,
But the explanation, and the (rather good) twist in the explanation raise further questions. We get the "what", but we never get the "why". And the ending raises yet more questions, which still remain as the credits roll.
It's a shame when a film does an OK job and then so conspicuously fails to stick the landing.
My Best Friend's Exorcism (2022)
Not bad, not great
When Gretchen is possessed by an evil thingy, her friend Abby is the only one who can help her. But Abby is a bit of a victim to start off with, and the wicked thingy is intent on victiming her even more.
Billed as a horror comedy, this has some slightly scary stuff in it, and is sometimes mildly amusing. Having said that, if it was stripped of the bad language and occasionally coarse dialogue, this would be little wose than a PG standard high school movie.
Everything in it is OK. The story is OK, the script is OK, the acting is OK, the production values are OK. It is professionally made, although not excitingly so. Only the soundtrack makes you think, "There are some good song selections here."
It seems to be attracting much criticism by comparison to its source material novel. I haven't read that, so no comment.