Seinfeld (1989–1998)

Wayne Knight: Newman

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [repeated lines] 

  Newman : Hello, Jerry.

  Jerry : Hello, Newman.

• Newman : Just remember, when you control the mail, you control... information.

• [Jerry takes Newman's mail route so Newman can get transfered to Hawaii] 

  Newman : Too many people got their mail. Close to 80%. Nobody's ever cracked the 50% barrier.

  Jerry : I tried my best!

  Newman : *Exactly*. You're a disgrace to the uniform.

  [Newman rips USPS patch off of coat] 

  Jerry : You know, this is your coat.

  Newman : [looks at torn patch]  Damn.

• Jerry : Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce.

  Newman : I love broccoli. It's good for you.

  Jerry : Really? Then maybe you'd like to have a piece?

  Newman : Gladly.

  [Newman spits it out] 

  Newman : Vile weed!

• Jerry : You're giving up that easily?

  Newman : I usually do.

  Jerry : Newman, you cant let the dream die. You moving away is my dream too.

• Jerry : You wouldn't it broccoli even if it was deep fried in chocolate.

  Newman : What? I love broccoli.

  Jerry : Oh yeah? Taste.

  [Newman tastes the broccoli and spits it up] 

  Newman : Vile weed.

• Newman : I propose... AN ALLIANCE.

  Jerry : An alliance?... Deal.

  [Jerry and Newman share an evil laugh] 

  Jerry : [stops laughing abruptly]  Now, get the hell out of here.

• Newman : [to rickshaw pullers]  Ok, bring it down to the end of the block, make a controlled turn and bring it back, let's see what you got, go.

  Cosmo Kramer : Hey, where's he going?

  Newman : I think he's stealing our rickshaw.

  Cosmo Kramer : Oh then he's out.

  Homeless Man : I'll take the job.

  [pause] 

  Homeless Man : Potato salad!

• Enzo : How'd you like to have free haircut for six months?

  Newman : What's the catch?

  Enzo : You're going to get me a sample of Jerry's hair.

  Newman : Hmm, that job sounds like it might be worth a *year's* free haircuts... and a comb!

• Cosmo Kramer : Keith Hernandez!

  Newman : Keith Hernandez! I despise that man!

• Cosmo Kramer : Remember my idea about rickshaws in New York? Well we're gonna make it happen.

  Jerry : No your not.

  Cosmo Kramer : Well Newman knows a guy in the Hong Kong post office.

  Jerry : No he doesn't.

  Newman : He's shipping us a rickshaw. It can't miss.

  Jerry : Yes it can.

• George Costanza : Why are you home? You're supposed to be out on your route, and getting my calzones for Steinbrenner.

  Newman : Well, I saw that it's raining outside, so I called in sick. I don't work in the rain.

  George Costanza : But... you're a mailman! 'Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow... ' It's the first one!

  Newman : I've never been much for credos.

  George Costanza : But I'm paying you!

  Newman : Hey, thanks!

• Newman : [Newman is sneaking through Jerry's apartment trying to cheat at Kramer's and his "Risk" game when he knocks over some of Jerry's cassette tapes]  Damn!

  Cosmo Kramer : It's Newman! Quick open the door!

  Jerry : [when Newman escapes from the window and up the stairs to his apartment]  I see ya Newman, I see ya!

  Cosmo Kramer : I'm taking the Congo as a penalty!

• Newman : Ah, look, I? I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm a US postal worker and my mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods mail-hating survivalists.

• Cosmo Kramer : Human, it's human to be moved by a fragrance.

  Pam : That is so true.

  Cosmo Kramer : Her bouquet cleaved his hardened...

  Newman : [whispering]  ... shell.

  Cosmo Kramer : Shell, and fondled his muscled heart. He imbibed her glistening spell, just before the other shoe fell.

  Pam : Kramer, that is so lovely.

  Cosmo Kramer : It's by an unknown 20th century poet.

  Pam : Oh? What's his name?

  Cosmo Kramer : Newman.

• Newman : You see, certified mail is always registered, but registered mail is not necessarily certified.

  Newman's Girlfriend : I could listen to you talk all day about mail.

  Newman : I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes: they're meaningless.

• Jerry : Oh, by the way, Newman, I'm just curious, when you booked the hotel, did you book it for the millennium new year?

  Newman : As a matter of fact, I did.

  Jerry : Oh, well, that's interesting, because, since everyone knows that there's no year zero, the millennium doesn't really begin until 2001, which would make your party one year late, and thus, quite lame.