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He loved me some days. I'm sure he did: 99 essays on growth through loss
"No matter what, he loved me some days. I’m sure he did. At least now I love myself, and I don’t think I would if he still loved me.
I don’t think I would love myself if I still loved him."
The 5th book from Swedish songwriter & author, Charlotte Eriksson, is a meditation on cold love, told from every angle. That kind of love that rips your heart out a little to rearrange it and make something new of it.
“This is a story about love and how not to love and sometimes exactly how to love, but mostly how to love something other than your love for another person because in the end you have to save yourself. You must place that love in something more solid than a fleeting person, because when it’s gone you have to have love left for your own life."
I don’t think I would love myself if I still loved him."
The 5th book from Swedish songwriter & author, Charlotte Eriksson, is a meditation on cold love, told from every angle. That kind of love that rips your heart out a little to rearrange it and make something new of it.
“This is a story about love and how not to love and sometimes exactly how to love, but mostly how to love something other than your love for another person because in the end you have to save yourself. You must place that love in something more solid than a fleeting person, because when it’s gone you have to have love left for your own life."
166 pages, Paperback
Published March 26, 2021
About the author
Charlotte Eriksson
5 books984 followersCharlotte Eriksson (The Glass Child) is an author, songwriter, dreamer and wanderer from Sweden, but is currently living somewhere in Europe. She has published five books of prose and poetry, telling stories of growing up, searching for a home, life on the road and learning how to bloom in solitary places. Her books have been widely shared and embraced by like-minded communities such as To Write Love On Her Arms, The Artidote, Wordporn and The Good Quote, wracking up hundreds of thousands of likes, shares and comments on each post. Writings and poems from the books have been published on sites such as Thought Catalog, Rebelle Society, Bella Grace Magazine and Open Minds Quarterly.
"I believe in writing your own story, and that's what I'm doing here. Do you wait for things to happen or do you make them happen yourself?"
You can read more about Charlotte's books and music on her website: http://www.CharlotteEriksson.com
And you can follow Charlotte's writings and journey on:
- http://www.instagram.com/justaglasschild
- http://www.charlotteeriksson.com/writ...
********
I'm messy and I'm organized and I'm still trying to piece my own self together. I can't sleep at night because how could I close my eyes when there's a whole world out there, calling my name, waiting to be explored. I love intelligent conversations while laying on empty streets at 5am in the morning, and I love watching the sun rise over a world that is still asleep. I make mistakes and I mess up a lot, but I'm trying to learn how to be okay with that. Some days I couldn't care less about what all of you think about my art because this is my life and all I have. But then there are days when all I want is to be beautiful and good enough and someone to count on. Someone to like and love and believe in. I just really want to mean something to someone.
I believe in the future, for I have seen yesterday, and I'm still alive. I laugh a lot and I believe in the beauty in small things, like the coffee in the morning with someone you love, road-trips to nowhere and oceans. People fascinate me because I can't seem to understand them, and they rarely understand me. The way they can live and breathe and simply be, when I can't even look myself in the mirror without questioning every line. I remember every single word from conversations and I have a whole box of unsent letters to myself and every person I've ever met.
When I was 18 I moved all on my own from my home in Sweden to London to create the life I wanted to live and find the person I wanted to be. After a year in solitude with my mind and my music, I packed light and spent a year homeless on the road, dedicating my life to my art and music, determined to tell the world about it. I went everywhere and nowhere. Spent nights on the concrete, had beautiful conversations with strangers and walked foreign streets every day. I learned how to build my home in my music and my art. When I sing or write, I'm not scared anymore. I just want to mean something to someone because every person I meet mean the world to me and I just wish to belong. I just wish to be me and be loved for that. I still don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way, and I'm giving my life to this journey. I wanted to turn my life into art, my very existence into a poem. It might not always be easy, but it will always be beautiful.
"I believe in writing your own story, and that's what I'm doing here. Do you wait for things to happen or do you make them happen yourself?"
You can read more about Charlotte's books and music on her website: http://www.CharlotteEriksson.com
And you can follow Charlotte's writings and journey on:
- http://www.instagram.com/justaglasschild
- http://www.charlotteeriksson.com/writ...
********
I'm messy and I'm organized and I'm still trying to piece my own self together. I can't sleep at night because how could I close my eyes when there's a whole world out there, calling my name, waiting to be explored. I love intelligent conversations while laying on empty streets at 5am in the morning, and I love watching the sun rise over a world that is still asleep. I make mistakes and I mess up a lot, but I'm trying to learn how to be okay with that. Some days I couldn't care less about what all of you think about my art because this is my life and all I have. But then there are days when all I want is to be beautiful and good enough and someone to count on. Someone to like and love and believe in. I just really want to mean something to someone.
I believe in the future, for I have seen yesterday, and I'm still alive. I laugh a lot and I believe in the beauty in small things, like the coffee in the morning with someone you love, road-trips to nowhere and oceans. People fascinate me because I can't seem to understand them, and they rarely understand me. The way they can live and breathe and simply be, when I can't even look myself in the mirror without questioning every line. I remember every single word from conversations and I have a whole box of unsent letters to myself and every person I've ever met.
When I was 18 I moved all on my own from my home in Sweden to London to create the life I wanted to live and find the person I wanted to be. After a year in solitude with my mind and my music, I packed light and spent a year homeless on the road, dedicating my life to my art and music, determined to tell the world about it. I went everywhere and nowhere. Spent nights on the concrete, had beautiful conversations with strangers and walked foreign streets every day. I learned how to build my home in my music and my art. When I sing or write, I'm not scared anymore. I just want to mean something to someone because every person I meet mean the world to me and I just wish to belong. I just wish to be me and be loved for that. I still don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way, and I'm giving my life to this journey. I wanted to turn my life into art, my very existence into a poem. It might not always be easy, but it will always be beautiful.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
March 13, 2021
lol, I'm biased. But I've never written anything that I've felt this proud of before. I hope it will touch someone out there. Mostly I'd like to know I'm not alone 🌹
June 30, 2022
30.06.2022.
re-reading because that's the only way I can put up with my thoughts, which while reading this are not in my head but on paper, so I can rest ... thank you Charlotte❤
*also i find it interesting that I read this book on the beginning of month june last year, and now i'm rereading it on the end of the same month, one year after.
june seems to bring me uneasiness, although I love it the most of all months.
_______________________________________
02.06.2021.
Reading this book, I forgot that I'm reading. I had a feeling like I was talking to Charlotte, at 3am drinking wine. On a couple of occasions I caught myself talking back to those written pages.
This book popped up on my instagram, and after the title that immediately appealed to me, the next picture was one part from the book i found myself in, so i just had to have it and read it. And I think that whenever I feel lonely, sad and empty, I will return to this book
Everything I have ever thought about, what I have felt, what I have kept silent and carried within me, this book has said. I felt every word written penetrate me deeply.
I came to Germany two and a half years ago and I still feel empty today. I didn't have a chance to talk to anyone about my feelings, and when I tried no one ever listened to me, because no one cares, in the end I gave up and decided to keep everything for myself, however after this book I think there is no need. The book said it all and everything is taken out of me.
I think next time if anyone is genuinely interested in how i am, i will just give him this book.
re-reading because that's the only way I can put up with my thoughts, which while reading this are not in my head but on paper, so I can rest ... thank you Charlotte❤
*also i find it interesting that I read this book on the beginning of month june last year, and now i'm rereading it on the end of the same month, one year after.
june seems to bring me uneasiness, although I love it the most of all months.
_______________________________________
02.06.2021.
Reading this book, I forgot that I'm reading. I had a feeling like I was talking to Charlotte, at 3am drinking wine. On a couple of occasions I caught myself talking back to those written pages.
This book popped up on my instagram, and after the title that immediately appealed to me, the next picture was one part from the book i found myself in, so i just had to have it and read it. And I think that whenever I feel lonely, sad and empty, I will return to this book
Everything I have ever thought about, what I have felt, what I have kept silent and carried within me, this book has said. I felt every word written penetrate me deeply.
I came to Germany two and a half years ago and I still feel empty today. I didn't have a chance to talk to anyone about my feelings, and when I tried no one ever listened to me, because no one cares, in the end I gave up and decided to keep everything for myself, however after this book I think there is no need. The book said it all and everything is taken out of me.
I think next time if anyone is genuinely interested in how i am, i will just give him this book.
April 2, 2021
An must read! Charlotte really has a way with words and knows how to tell her story so beautifully! You won't be dissapointed, I promiss!!
February 9, 2022
This book feels like a journey and I am so happy to have read it.
I first found this book in an Instagram add and I read the little fragment that popped out with it and I fell in love with it. I asked for this book for Christmas and I’ve finally had time to read it.
This book made me feel so many things and it resonated so well with me. It was a bit hard for me to connect with the start of the book but once I got used to it, I loved it. Especially, the second half, and I couldn’t stop reading. You know when you’re reading something that shows exactly how you feel so your heart beats faster and you feel understood and less alone? That’s what happened with me with this book.
Charlotte Eriksson is someone I didn’t know but I’m so glad I found. I am in awed of her and the way she writes about her feelings, sharing such vulnerability with the world. It’s inspiring, I wish I could write something like this someday.
I first found this book in an Instagram add and I read the little fragment that popped out with it and I fell in love with it. I asked for this book for Christmas and I’ve finally had time to read it.
This book made me feel so many things and it resonated so well with me. It was a bit hard for me to connect with the start of the book but once I got used to it, I loved it. Especially, the second half, and I couldn’t stop reading. You know when you’re reading something that shows exactly how you feel so your heart beats faster and you feel understood and less alone? That’s what happened with me with this book.
Charlotte Eriksson is someone I didn’t know but I’m so glad I found. I am in awed of her and the way she writes about her feelings, sharing such vulnerability with the world. It’s inspiring, I wish I could write something like this someday.
October 21, 2021
➳ Rate: 4/ 5 stars
As someone who has no clue what they want out of life - has nothing figured out - and cannot imagine what their future will look like... I really enjoyed reading about Charlotte's journeys in self-discovery, love, and life. It was nice to see that so much can change in a blink of an eye and no matter how hard the journey is, in the end, you'll end up where you needed to be and doing what you were meant to do. It really gave me hope.
Charlotte's writing is very personable and thought-provoking. I really enjoyed that. I related to so much of what she talked about and went through, and I love when that happens.
It really feels like you're reading a diary, a travel diary sometimes, spaced through the years and seasons with life lessons and advice. I really enjoyed this read. I look forward to picking up more books from this author.
➳Paperback copy kindly provided by the author & publisher, in exchange for an honest review.
➳ Order at: Amazon US
➳ Follow me on: Instagram ⁕ Facebook ⁕ Tiktok
As someone who has no clue what they want out of life - has nothing figured out - and cannot imagine what their future will look like... I really enjoyed reading about Charlotte's journeys in self-discovery, love, and life. It was nice to see that so much can change in a blink of an eye and no matter how hard the journey is, in the end, you'll end up where you needed to be and doing what you were meant to do. It really gave me hope.
Charlotte's writing is very personable and thought-provoking. I really enjoyed that. I related to so much of what she talked about and went through, and I love when that happens.
It really feels like you're reading a diary, a travel diary sometimes, spaced through the years and seasons with life lessons and advice. I really enjoyed this read. I look forward to picking up more books from this author.
➳Paperback copy kindly provided by the author & publisher, in exchange for an honest review.
➳ Order at: Amazon US
➳ Follow me on: Instagram ⁕ Facebook ⁕ Tiktok
August 5, 2023
i love this woman so much . she has written out my soul while i had my eyes closed . she did all the work for me and now it feels like my words are here . she has created them. amazing.
*************
05/08/23 - reading this again because i always think about it and it's always calling out to me . i think i've fallen in love with it more now than i did the first time which i didn't think was possible . never has a writer had me in tears after reading the first two lines of something and i have had the most cathartic experience sobbing my heart out and re-reading these writings because how can someone know you so well they manage to get you down on paper in a way you'd never thought you'd see? i will say it again, i love this woman so much. truly. i am a mess
*************
05/08/23 - reading this again because i always think about it and it's always calling out to me . i think i've fallen in love with it more now than i did the first time which i didn't think was possible . never has a writer had me in tears after reading the first two lines of something and i have had the most cathartic experience sobbing my heart out and re-reading these writings because how can someone know you so well they manage to get you down on paper in a way you'd never thought you'd see? i will say it again, i love this woman so much. truly. i am a mess
November 13, 2021
This is definitely going to my favorite books shelf, next to William Goldman and Dead Poets Society. I haven't been able to let go of a boy for six months now, since we stopped talking but even then our communication was so poor it frustrated me till the ends of madness. I love him, I know I do but lately I've been trying to let him go- just let him go period. I was tired of holding on but no matter what he stuck around in my head. Well, I got this book and even though I thought I was over him, moving on- the moment I opened it I knew I wasn't. I was only avoiding him and the topic of him and thinking that it will just disappear. So I opened the book and I opened a notebook and I just faced it. I faced my love for him, I faced my hurt and I faced my healing. I guess, I couldn't write everything but I did. I'm a writer too and writing helps me to get through... a lot but this book helped me motivate me to focus on it. I have two books in my folders. TWO MAGNIFICENT BOOKS that I stopped writing for some odd reading, thinking what good are those? Well, they're great and I'm going to re-start the both of them and he? Well, he's a part of me and always will be. One thing I can't change is my love for him. Like I wrote it down- this whole paragraph of how much I love him and now after I finished this book.. I'm just... okay and wanting to create my life again.
This book has been a blessing to me and it's hard to say that for me. Now I only have 6 books that brought me blessings among many... many other books I own. But we'll see where this takes me. I am a writer after all. So I'll do that. I'll write.
This book has been a blessing to me and it's hard to say that for me. Now I only have 6 books that brought me blessings among many... many other books I own. But we'll see where this takes me. I am a writer after all. So I'll do that. I'll write.
May 24, 2021
The book you want to read slowly, to
feel every chapter, every sentence.
"There is no other cure for loneliness than to befriend it. To sit with it. Feel it. Learn it. Every vibration and every ache. Embrace it, even. You can´t run away from being lonely, you can only learn to walk with it."
"You will just have to let it hurt, until you´re done. hurt until the hurt is done and one day you will just move on. That´s all. That´s your only job: hold on until the hurt is done. That´s all."
"You know those people you meet just feel safe?"
"Don´t bring heavy regrets with you as you journey forward. Forgive people and let them be."
feel every chapter, every sentence.
"There is no other cure for loneliness than to befriend it. To sit with it. Feel it. Learn it. Every vibration and every ache. Embrace it, even. You can´t run away from being lonely, you can only learn to walk with it."
"You will just have to let it hurt, until you´re done. hurt until the hurt is done and one day you will just move on. That´s all. That´s your only job: hold on until the hurt is done. That´s all."
"You know those people you meet just feel safe?"
"Don´t bring heavy regrets with you as you journey forward. Forgive people and let them be."
October 30, 2022
Oh boy. This feels like a harsh rating. I started out quite enjoying this book but by end it felt repetitive and like I was reading my own diary (but not in a good way)…
May 28, 2022
'What's coming is always better than what has been' - is this main message of the book.
One day I stumbled over this author on Facebook. The glass child. Charlotte Erikkson. I read snippets of her writings online and they were so different. So finally I bought this one as my first book from her. I don't know anything about her CV, but I realised, it's not important. Her words is enough for me.
This book really touched me. I found myself in her lines and between. Pure thoughts and words, not written down for fame, but to share them with the world and souls from the same tribe. Someday I would love to meet her, behind my glass or hers. Looking at and talking about the both worlds, in front of and behind the glass. Highly recommented to those who like deep thoughts and conversations. Thank you for sharing, Charlotte.
One day I stumbled over this author on Facebook. The glass child. Charlotte Erikkson. I read snippets of her writings online and they were so different. So finally I bought this one as my first book from her. I don't know anything about her CV, but I realised, it's not important. Her words is enough for me.
This book really touched me. I found myself in her lines and between. Pure thoughts and words, not written down for fame, but to share them with the world and souls from the same tribe. Someday I would love to meet her, behind my glass or hers. Looking at and talking about the both worlds, in front of and behind the glass. Highly recommented to those who like deep thoughts and conversations. Thank you for sharing, Charlotte.
June 6, 2022
"Don't hold on to things that are over.
Let them go, bravely." (Charlotte Eriksson)
Eriksson is not only a poet but a writer. Her writings bring comfort and a strong sense of recognition for anybody who ever felt they were questioning a huge deal of emotions.
This book, and the other called "everything changed when I forgave myself" bring out meaning, compassion and guidance from their author.
These books are like a conversation with a trusted friend, for example. While reading her personal take on the life she has lived, and on some parts, turned into Fiction, a wise voice of the author, accepting mistakes and flaws, can be heard from works that flow freely and seemingly effortlessly.
Let them go, bravely." (Charlotte Eriksson)
Eriksson is not only a poet but a writer. Her writings bring comfort and a strong sense of recognition for anybody who ever felt they were questioning a huge deal of emotions.
This book, and the other called "everything changed when I forgave myself" bring out meaning, compassion and guidance from their author.
These books are like a conversation with a trusted friend, for example. While reading her personal take on the life she has lived, and on some parts, turned into Fiction, a wise voice of the author, accepting mistakes and flaws, can be heard from works that flow freely and seemingly effortlessly.
May 5, 2021
I’ve been loving Charlotte’s writing since I first discovered her. And I love reading about relationships, what works, what doesn’t, how it goes, how it ends. With this book, I have both, everything I love, and it did not disappoint. We have followed Charlotte Ericksson journey for a while now, and it’s interesting to go back a bit, discover pieces of the puzzle we didn’t know yet. Getting your heart broken, having to get over someone, a relationship, often opens news roads ahead. But it’s also a long and hard process. We’re going through all of it with her, and it’s beautiful, touching and relatable as ever. Here’s to another great book.
March 26, 2022
When I was reading this, I felt like I was traveling through the mind and heart of Charlotte's feelings & thoughts. How vulnerable her soul was through her transitions. Poems & Essays I liked: It Starts Like This, From The Loneliness To Love, clouds, Nothing New To Say, Fiction, There Is Hope for us, How to be a writer, Dark love, the Doorway, Masks, Love affair, I want a second chance, Erased, This Silence now, Unpoetic, The space of absence, Lead me to the broken ones, I loved you like I always will, Landslide, Youg writers, Echoes, They Don't even know about you, The impossibility of someone loving you, I'm so happy not being in love, How to leave someone.
April 10, 2023
as soon as i saw a quote from this on pinterest, i had a feeling that once i read it, i'd want to scream about it from a rooftop.
and i was right. i was so fucking right.
i honestly think this should be mandatory reading for any lost, 20-something woman searching for revelations in the wake of a relationship.
Charlotte wrote many hard truths i already knew, but she reframed them in a no-bullshit way that made them impossible to continue ignoring.
reading this felt like a much needed heart-to-heart with an older woman who actually had some of the answers i needed.
and i was right. i was so fucking right.
i honestly think this should be mandatory reading for any lost, 20-something woman searching for revelations in the wake of a relationship.
Charlotte wrote many hard truths i already knew, but she reframed them in a no-bullshit way that made them impossible to continue ignoring.
reading this felt like a much needed heart-to-heart with an older woman who actually had some of the answers i needed.
April 16, 2022
some words in this book heart me. they took my heart and wrenched it, poking sharp-nailed fingertips into the deepest wounds. but others didn’t. others just let me pass by without notice. the overall thing wasn’t enough. but some words were more than enough, heartbreaking and hurtful. and i loved them.
August 24, 2024
'𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞.'
October 27, 2022
Authentic, raw. Left me feeling both heard and hurt.
The way Eriksson puts loneliness into words is devastating to all those who've experienced it and truly beautiful and healing at the same time. Well done Glass Child 🌈
The way Eriksson puts loneliness into words is devastating to all those who've experienced it and truly beautiful and healing at the same time. Well done Glass Child 🌈
September 20, 2023
Es war gut, aber ich glaube das Timing war nicht gut für mich. Ich stecke nicht in dieser Lebensphase und habe sie auch noch nicht erlebt. Ich konnte mitfühlen, einiges auch mitnehmen, aber trotzdem ist mir die meiste Zeit stark bewusst gewesen, dass ich es nicht nachfühlen konnte.
January 12, 2025
This is a good book that you can really relate to the author of you’ve been through similar experiences. It made me teary eyed a bit because I swear some of the things she wrote are what I felt when I was going through my past marriage.
April 16, 2021
Amazing book! Reading this made me feel like talking to a friend until late at night about life and love. Combined with Charlotte's latest music album, this book makes you feel all the feels!
July 16, 2021
touched the soft raw spots in so many ways.
November 1, 2021
The Year I Changed My Own Character was an essay in honesty with myself. Eriksson does an excellent job telling a story I've seen beforw
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 5, 2022
I resonated with so many things in this book. I'm so glad to have read it and to have seen the author grow as well.
July 1, 2022
I’m absolutely in love with her thoughts and words! Thank you for making me feel so much
September 5, 2022
Some parts touched my soul and other parts felt like a task to finish. Still, it was completely worth the read.
Perfect book for a hard break up.
Perfect book for a hard break up.
April 18, 2023
a true must-read for every woman
June 26, 2023
I couldn’t finish this one. I gave up at page 110. I guess it wasn’t what I was expecting. I expected more of what the title said but it was mostly about non relationship stuff.
Read
April 18, 2024Last ten pages were amazing everything before that was like rupi kaur had three glasses of wine and explored long-form writing so take that as you will
June 23, 2024
4,5 ⭐️
February 11, 2025
Repetitive. Negative. Longwinded.
Some parts were very relatable but all in all reading this book was a pain. Maybe it SHOULD hurt, but I didn't enjoy to suffer with the author in this case.
Some parts were very relatable but all in all reading this book was a pain. Maybe it SHOULD hurt, but I didn't enjoy to suffer with the author in this case.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews