Stargirl

​Part 1: A Prince’s Price

It was my first stop on a list of errands I ran that day. I made some new friends at the disco. They were cool people. it was pretty dim in the place so I couldn’t see their faces. Plus the music was really loud. There was a puddle of water on the floor that I nearly busted my ass on. The one guy helped me up. The other person just stood there. We continued dancing in our circle. They both had on the most intricately coordinated outfits. Orange and blue. Bad Habit by Steve Lacy came on the speakers. They were pretty ok dancers. They balanced each other out. I was really good too. Next I went to the candy shop, and after that went outside and wrote in my journal. I wrote some new lyrics. My contract with Amber Tyranny was ending and I was glad. She could be sort of disrespectful at times. I don’t care what generation she’s from. She needs to learn to talk to people.

On the bright side my two friends from the disco came home with me. One had my toes down his throat and the other my tongue. We rolled around the duvet like loose change. Saliva and chipped nail polish dropped down his chin and onto the floor. It wasn’t my favorite thing in the world, but I took what I could get. It certainly was a new sensation. It kind of bummed me out that I’d have to repaint my toes again.

I often wondered what Amber’s price was to do the things she did. The fucked up things she did. Somehow I looked past it all and loved her. I’m not even sure this is her real personality. It could all be a façade. But when I’m with her I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt. I couldn’t feel anything before. I wonder what changed. I felt a lot more at peace too. Not much makes sense to me.

Amber was really fun to spend time with. She was too perfect. I’m weary of people like that due to my past. Onstage, Amber Tyranny is charismatic and vibrant. She’s much more quiet when you speak with her one on one. She listens to all my crazy theories with amusement. She then has this puzzled look on her face. She has theories about the world too. She’s everything to me. Since she’s older it can be difficult to get each other’s sense of humor but we both try. I often wonder if Amber is just using me for personal gain. I never bring this up though. I don’t know how. Life is strange. If we were the same age I’d date her, but we aren’t. We’re from different eras and have opposing views on a lot of things.

I wrote songs for other artists in addition to Amber. See how that’s a conflict of interest? That’s another reason why we can’t officially date. I try not to be negative about it. That’s just show business. I pour my heart and soul into my lyrics. I’m not angry, just disappointed. I can’t sing my own music the way it was meant to be sung: in my own ghastly style. I sing at local events sometimes but it’s not enough to live off of. I