The Scholar of Moab

SOURCE DOCUMENT #1:

Poem, Our Forever Love my Hyrum Dear, by Sandra Thayne. Written just before their marriage. May 10th, 1966.

Hyrum Dear I love you well

And oft my heart you make to swell,

(And now it seems my belly as well)

This babe of ours will deep love keep,

As we watch its face when it’s asleep

(Of you and me its features reap)

The night wherein we made the child,

The Monkees played all the while

(I’m a Believer soft and mild)

Our love will last eternally,

and from each other we will never flee,

(and together we will ever be)

SOURCE DOCUMENT #2, PART A:

Hyrum’s journal, hand-written manuscript.

Written between June and August, 1977.

I Hyrum having been born of goodly parents am from Moab. This must be distinctly understood if any sense is to be made of any of this my Dickensian life. Am I learned? Not as much as you might be led to believe by my use of numinous locutions. Yea, I graduated as many ordinary souls do from the auspices of Grand County High or I should say I would have graduated had I passed Mr. Wondells History class but without the 4th of a credit he should have provided I was forced to sit upon the dewy lawn in front of the High School whilst my graduating class graduated in their festive finery without me. Sandra was Pregnant sitting there with me on the cool green grass but only months along & not yet showing. I am sad to report that it would be her one & only pregnancy & the baby would not be born into this world. Its spirit she says awaits our reunion when Christ comes again & reigns for 1000 years in the Millennium. She lost it at the beginning of the third Trimester. She has never recovered I think & as of yet pines away in Sorrow. There are many sorrows in this the story of my Scholarly life many of them having to do with Babies.

How do I begin? How indeed. The rise from my beknighted state to one of mighty & true erudition will stand credibility on your hoary head. You will see me ascend from a miserly laborer with the USGS verily the united states Geological survey to a flagship Scholar invited to stroll among the high & mighty & publish landmark Science in the prestigious periodical the Bulletin of the Ecological Society of America. Why did I underline that? Because titles are underlined in works of Scholarship. Verily verily you will learn much more than this. Much more indeed. For I. Even I of my own Labors have engaged with the profoundest heights of Science & Literature. It is from the peaks of these high Heights that I first found entanglements both Wide & Deep.

It started in the cool summers of the La Sal Mountains. Behold these great behemoth mammoths can be glimpsed from about anywheres in Moab but most wonderfully from flats north of town up past the Cowboy bar on the South end of town on Highway 191. They rise from the Canyonlands like a great Coyote set to howl just before it strikes at a new born baby sheep fresh from its mamas hips. Of which I have seen many in my younger days. The names of these great mountains roll off the tongue like the prodigious Mt. Peele & tremendous Mount Tukuhnikivatz & mighty Mt Mellenthin & the wise Mt. Waas. Some say they rose only after the days of Peleg as mentioned in the Bible when Noah fresh from his Ark spied the rainbow rising like a Trout from among the clouds of which their moisture was emptied of water like the dugs of a newly milked cow because of the forty days of rain & the Windows of Heaven being opened & such. Geologists tell a more unlikely tale about Continents floating around like foam on a beer which as you know a Mormon ought not to drink.

Up in the La Sals I was gregariously working for the government in the form of the illustrious USGS & I had been assigned to work with The Bob. He was a mean spirited SOB if you will excuse my bringing to your mind swear words. His grizzled face was like that of a Grizzly bear & he arose on his haunches to over 6 feet. He had long claw-like fingers with which he clenched in frustration all his sorrows & failings. And of those he had no lack. The story told around the old trailer that we stayed at up in the La Sals during the week was that The Bob had got himself a Phd in English at Harvard & then tried to write his self a Novel. Trouble was that even his own mother would not read the pitiable thing & so he returned to get a degree in Geology so as he could keep himself a real job. Trouble was that meant that he had to work with me. I never did anything to deserve this & so this was a clear case of Evil in the world or as Scholars know a Theodicy which is a Words of Power word about which KBYU just broadcast a panel of experts talking about it which is the evil Underarching & Overflowing the world & the fact that God has his own ways & keeps his own council. Of course we Mormons know why there is evil in the world. Its because God in his wisdom send us down here to get Tried & Tested but the rest of the world thinks that evil is like holes in the goodness of God. The show on KBYU had a gaggle of Religion Professors saying whats what about this. We know moreover & nevertheless that Heavenly Father allows evil so as to put us through the wringer to show if we were up to being a God ourselves or not as the case may be. You will find that I have Messed this chance up royally.

Anyway. Well perhaps I should tell what we did up on the Mountain. What indeed. We were making underground maps of the way things were in the different Strata & Stratum of the many layered Earth. We would draw up to an a priori arranged spot & and find some bedrock to set up some sensing equipment that essentially were Seismographic seismographs. Some other guys a posteriori & miles away would set up some explosions & we would watch the tectonic wave propitiate to the very spot we was set up on. Of course in describing this it sounds exotic & greatly interesting. You are probably thinking that we would never get bored doing true Science like this but the facts must be told it was pretty slow most of the time. So while you may think that Science is thrilling & full of advanced kinds of things it was mostly alot of waiting around doing nothing but watching the recording Machines drum roll along like a scroll turning under a little pin hooked up to listen for the explosion that was to go off a posteriori to our setting up the equipment. We were in ennui & languor. And you will be surprised to learn that really this scientific work had little to do with my becoming a Scholar & scientist of note in the field of bumblebee Studies. They were known to Dickens as Humble Bees. We scientists call them Bombus of course which is the name that was derived from the Greeks or the Latins & which was taken by Science to be the name by which these beasts will be known when we talk about them for reasons we keep to ourselves. But I will talk about this later after I tell you how The Bob who by no forethought in himself sent me on an intellectual journey & launched my career as a great Scholar of world Renownededness & entered me back into full fellowship of my Church in outward appearance but inside like many Scientists I was an unbeliever & only Machiavellied many people of which now I’m a bit sorry. It is now causing me much problems whereof I will speak of by & by. But I write this for my conscience & to squash those lies that are told about me here & there. I say unto you O Sandra if you are reading this any rumors about me are false. I was True as I was Blue.

Well I’ve fallen into digressions. Yea such Dichotomies dwell in the hearts of those who write & philosophize about the deeper matters of Scholarship. If you are not ready to follow where the datum leads than I am sorry for you. Very very Sorry. Wherefore & Moreover I will continue with my story of The Bob. I will start on that clear Fall day in autumn which we rode merrily along. The Bob was in a foul mood. So it came to pass that here I was bouncing along a dirt road heading up along the South face of Tukuhnikivatz looking for a good Outcropping of Bedrock so we could set up. I was sitting with this most bitter of men. I spotted a likely spot & pulled off the road into a small meadow surrounded by aspens. He got out walked over to a tree left his mark & then got back in the truck. I did’nt see much use in disturbing him so I set about setting up the Sensing Station. I had done it a 100 times so there was’nt really any need for him to be there at all. Yet at the time I was not seen as a man even learned enough to be trusted to set up what I knew how to set up better than the man who was Given charge. Such is the nature of hierarchal hierarchies which is a way of saying someone is over you even though they do’nt deserve it.

Truth is he was a first class idiot. On the way up there I spied a Coyote running through some of the brush oak on the right side of the road & it paused to look at us. I slammed on the breaks & as white dust gathered around us I threw open the door & reached around & grabbed the Winchester 264 my Dad bought when he got home from the War. I kept it laid on the backseat floor of the cab just for such occasions. Its a beautiful gun that shoots like a dream & do’nt require much pampering & I aimed across the top of the truck & as the dust cleared I saw the Coyote was still staring at us. Just then The Bob opens the door & steps out of the truck & if I had’nt been paying attention I would have plugged him in the back of the head. Excuse me I said & he turned round to see me sighting the gun right down into his face. Shit he said & I’m quoting so its ok for me to say that & he jumped back into his seat. I was back on the Coyote & just as I was pulling the trigger he slams his door shut & the Coyote bolts. The Shot went bad & instead of a nice lung shot I hit it in the back just above the hips. It gave a sharp angry yap & whipped around in a crazy jerking way like he was trying to nip a horsefly or whatever had Panicked his backside. I ran down to it jumping over the sage like a Wildman cause I was pretty overcome with the Buck fever that comes when you shoot something. It was hit bad & hard but it was doing a pretty decent job of crawling forward dragging its back legs those being as dead as a doornail. It was trying hard to get away but not making much headway. When I got up to it it tried to turn on me Snarling & Snapping but I leaped back & laughed cause I knew it was’nt going to get me. I pulled the rifle up & popped it in the head to put it out of its misery. Soon The Bob was standing there frowning at the killt beast. He was wearing on his hip one of those giant useless tourist Bowie knifes in an Indian looking sheath covered in Turquoise beads & I said Let me see your knife so I can cut off the Bounty & he said You are’nt using my knife. So I hiked back up to the truck & grabbed a little sheathless Buck out of the toolbox. It was as dull as a butter knife cause no one cared to sharpen what everybody used & I had to saw off the ears & tail with that useless Thing. I put them in a paper bag & The Bob just stared at it & then said What a waste. I pointed out that there was a $20 Bounty on coyotes & that what was one mans waste was another mans dinner. He just shook his head all condescending like & we got back in the truck & continued up the mountain. Sandra for one would be glad for the Money.

It came to pass on this day long long before the gloaming commenced I took out my army knapsack fished around & pulled a hardback copy of a Lewis Lamour novel I had borrowed from the Library. I think I had better point out here when I say borrowed from the Library I mean borrowed. I never check them out. It is too much work & I hate having to remember my library Card. Mostly I hate having someone else know what I’m reading & then there was the facing of Sister Goodsons so judgmental & condemning looks. Her brows always wrinkle just enough to say Brother Thayne is’nt there something a little more uplifting you could be reading. She was in my Church Ward the Moab 4th too so I could’nt check out half the books I might like to anyway. So I took them cart blanch. I just slip them into my shirt & then when I’m done drop them back into the night Dropbox. It works out better for everyone.

I was just starting into chapter 2 when suddenly I noticed that The Bob was staring at me. And what a look. He might as well have just said out loud Hey boy I am soap & your dirt.

But instead he said what do you do around here when your not on this mountain picking your nose.

Quickly I gulped for air. It is amazing how the mind in a tight situation can in the blink of an eye flash through a 1000 ideas. Play them in an instant & then put out all the possible answers to such a loaded question & at the speed of light pick the worst one of the lot & send it to your mouth to blurt out. And I was not yet a Scholar. And I had not yet bought a copy of Words of Power: 30 Days to a Better Vocabulary therefore the power of my words was compromised by inexacteditudeness.

Well I like to bowl I said. Well the truth is I hate bowling. I do’nt know how it came out except that I had bowled a 150 the other night & was glad because I beat our neighbors the Macks. Somehow that sense of pride had snuck out of my mouth & come out as an admission of all The Bob wanted to hear. He roared. He laughed. His scorn to this day rings in my ears. Like the sound of the devil in a Hell of strange laughter laughing Hellishly. He cackled so hard I thought I was going to have to administer first aid. Somehow he managed to get himself under control & quieted down to a thoughtful chuckle. He was clearly of the school of thought that bowling was like life in a town like Moab slow & not much action.

Actually I started feeling pretty good inside. Even then my Scholar nature could discern the heart of the matter. I realized that I had made the poor miserable man for just a moment glad he was alive. Somehow it made me feel in control. Sort of how an actor on a stage must feel when he gets the audience feeling just how he Aims them to feel. Scholars call this an exploitation. I decided I had an advantage in this & played it up for all its worth.

Sometimes I said me & the boys like to play checkers at the barbershop. I had seen enough of Andy Griffith to know what he was looking for. He started to giggle & snort.

And I said with subtlety & without Guile or remorse Every once in awhile when things are really cooking we’ll invite the folks over & barbecue some chicken & play horseshoes. He was in a full blown laugh at this time & I was starting to feel really good.

One time me & the boys got some old truck inner tubes & floated down Mill Creek from the Power Dam to the Colorado. For some reason this did’nt have the effect I had hoped & he stopped laughing & looked Thoughtful. I was racking my brain trying to think of something to say when suddenly he looked at me & said.

You live in a trailer do’nt you boy. He said it sort of softly like he was talking to a child or if I was an ape. Or like you do your dog after you kick it for jumping on you.

No I lied.

Where did I pick you up this morning? Was that your wife in the door?

I had forgotten that he had picked me up.

Well we’re just living there until the house we are building up Spanish Valley Drive is finished. Its just a Rental.

I could of kicked myself for saying that because we Own that trailer outright. It brought a smile to his face & this time it did’nt make me feel in control. It seems however that once the floodgate is open there is no stopping it. Locution on the run.

Yes sir we would not live in a trailer on purpose. No we are just living there for a week or two. It is my brother who is dirt poor. He’s nice to put us up & all but it would be Terrible to have to live there a long time with all those other trailer trash folks hanging around & leaving their cars around & stuff like that. So verily I said in the entrapment of my soul by this conniving man. Why did I say this? I did’nt mind living in a trailer park at all. I had done it most of my life. I knew there was some of the town folk in high school that looked down on it & one Cheerleader especially that was always throwing it in my face but they were not down to earth folk anyway so I never gave them no thought. But here I was making excuses I did’nt care about to a man I did’nt care about Either.

I knew a bunch of the kids in high school that lived in the trailer parks & I can tell you that if I had kids thats not where I would like to live. Why did I say that?

A wave of bitterness passed over The Bobs face like an explosion showing up on a seismograph. He looked down at me for a second & then as if realizing who he was talking to said to himself.

Man! What a Dickensian life you lead.

I had no clue what he meant. At first I thought he might have been waxing a bit profane but something in the way he said it made me think he was just talking over my head. I must have Looked as puzzled as I was because the next thing he said was.

Look it up. That ended the days conversation.

I could hardly read my novel all that day. Now I was not completely ignorant even at that time I did like to read & I knew that we only pass through this life for an ephemeral time. But Dickensian had got me good. I looked all through the Sackett book I was reading to see if I could catch it in being used but Lewis Lamour had neglected to use it in that particular book. I almost thought of asking The Bob but that would not do at all so I thought I would just bide my time until I could get back home & Look it up. I guess I had sort of taken it personal he used the word right when I was lying about my life & the timing was such that when he said it stuck on me like a cheat grass seed to a sock.

All that afternoon I kept hearing him say Man! What a Dickensian life you lead.

Man! What a Dickensian life you lead.

Man! What a Dickensian life you lead.

Man! What a Dickensian life you lead.

Man! What a Dickensian life you lead.

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Man! What a Dickensian