EXCLUSIVEI was threatened with death for swapping one of the ingredients in a Cornish pasty: Bake Off winner Nadiya Hussain reveals her ordeal at the hands of racist online trolls
Nadiya Hussain should have been on cloud nine. She’d made the final of The Great British Bake Off and was on the brink of a win that would catapult her to fame and fortune. Instead, the Muslim mother of three young children was holed up at home being protected by Bake Off producers after she became the target of horrific racist death threats.
It left her terrified family wondering what Nadiya had let herself in for by appearing on the show. But not only did she land the coveted Bake Off trophy in 2015, she’s since gone on to publish 17 books, present 13 TV shows and become something of a national treasure, not to mention an international star.
Yet each time she launches a new show or book, the racist trolling erupts again. The only difference now is that she has truly learnt to believe in herself. So when she kicks off her new six-part series Cook Once, Eat Twice on BBC2 on Saturday, along with an accompanying book, in which she shows us inventive ways to use leftovers and make the most of what’s in the fridge, Nadiya will be braced for a fresh onslaught.
‘No matter what I do, every time I’ve got a show on there’s always hate. There are moments when it dies down and moments when it flares up, but the truth is people like that exist,’ she explains. ‘On Bake Off I thought, “Oh my goodness, what have I let myself in for?” And to be honest it got worse at every stage, even when I got down to the final three. I had to have producers live in my house because of the death threats.
‘There were lots of awful comments including, “She’s got to be on benefits,” and, “She’s a scrounger,” which really hurt because no one knew my story. And it erased all the hard work my husband, parents, family and I had ever done.’
Nadiya Hussain was the target of horrific racist death threats
Nadiya, the daughter of Bangladeshi immigrants, even faced horrific racism for replacing traditional swede with apple in a Cornish pasty recipe, with trolls saying, ‘What gives you the right to make a Cornish pasty?’ She could never have imagined the racism would be even worse than when she was severely bullied at school.
‘You have to work 100 times harder to get 100 times less than everyone else,’ she says. ‘It’s been really difficult and I’ve had to fight for my place because I’m a brown Muslim woman. But it should be a level playing field for every single human being,’ says Nadiya, 39.
She’s gone on to become the most successful Bake Off winner to date, but prior to the show Nadiya, who baked the Queen’s 90th birthday cake, suffered from imposter syndrome so much that she worried her school bake sale cakes were too impossibly perfect and would smash them up a bit before delivering them.
At that time she was battling debilitating anxiety, PTSD and a panic disorder triggered after she was sexually assaulted by a relative at the age of five. That contributed to a suicide attempt at the age of ten when she sat on her bed one evening and tried to overdose on tablets, but was interrupted by the news that her mother was pregnant with her brother Shaq.
‘I promised myself I had to meet my brother first,’ says Nadiya, who has three children with her husband Abdal – Musa, 18, Dawud, 17, and Maryam, 14. ‘I was lucky because it was divine intervention and my brother is often the reason I smile a lot because he’s just a lovely human and we are very close.
She’s gone on to become the most successful Bake Off winner to date
‘When you’re struggling, the most important thing is to find somebody you love and tell them. You often hide sadness from the people you love because you don’t want to take away from their happiness. But if you tell someone you love, and who you trust wholeheartedly, they will not see your sadness as weakness, they will find a way to love you and help you get through.’
She wishes she’d been able to tell her parents about how scarred she was from being bullied at primary school by boys who repeatedly dunked her head in the toilet, trapped her fingers in a classroom door and harassed her for being ‘too dark’. She still can’t go to the toilet without flashbacks of feeling like she’s drowning.
But she was worried about burdening her parents as her brother and sister were in and out of hospital a lot – one for a congenital heart problem and the other for a cleft palate. ‘I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I didn’t understand mental health. I was very, very badly bullied.
‘I had to learn perspective quite early on because I had two siblings who were quite poorly and my mum would be crying over the hospital bed because it could be life or death,’ Nadiya recalls. ‘So I felt I couldn’t go
to my parents because being bullied was not life or death. But it made me realise that, as a mother, I’ve had to teach my children that no problem is too big or too small for them to tell us.’
Nadiyah's husband Abdal and children Musa, 18, Dawud, 17, and Maryam, 14
It was Abdal who insisted his wife took part in Bake Off. The couple got engaged on the very first day they ‘laid eyes on each other’, tying the knot just ten days later as part of an arranged marriage. They’ve been married 19 years now and are brilliantly supportive of each other and their children.
‘My husband saw how riddled I was with anxiety and PTSD from the bullying. I became very safe – my safe people were my children, my husband and my parents and my safe place was my house. I created this little bubble and very few people were allowed into it. It was iron-clad,’ she says.
‘I got so anxious, I ended up struggling to get out of bed some days. I was doing the bare minimum – just picking the kids up from school, giving them food then going back to bed. It was no way to live and my husband said, “Look, you’ve got to do better for you. Just do Bake Off.” I didn’t think I was good enough as I’d only been baking nine years, but I did it.’
And she won. Nadiya’s acceptance speech on the Bake Off final made millions of people including Mary Berry cry when she said, ‘I’m never gonna put boundaries on myself ever again. I’m never gonna say I can’t do it. I’m never gonna say “maybe”. I’m never gonna say, “I don’t think I can.” I can and I will.’
Since she won, her confidence and ability to manage her anxiety have grown. She prays five times a day, takes walks in the woods close to her home and has taken up archery, which all help to shut out the negative noise.
‘The hatred I’ve received has definitely tested us as a couple and as a family but it’s made us stronger. We’re better parents and better people for it. It’s been a journey and I’ve come a long way. My anxiety is always looming so I’m always trying to manage the pressure that comes with being in the public eye. But what I’ve learned in the last ten years is that I’m really good at my job and the majority of people are lovely.’
There is no classic dish, British or Bangladeshi, Nadiya wouldn’t try to improve and now she wants to demonstrate in her new show that we don’t need to spend a fortune on extravagant ingredients because humble staples can be elevated into sensational plates of food. Like taking soggy salad leaves and whizzing them up in a blender with creamy yoghurt, fresh coriander and sweet rehydrated apricots to create a bright and beautiful pasta sauce that also doubles up as a chutney.
Potatoes are one of our most wasted ingredients, but Nadiya’s beany potato cakes offer an economical solution and ensure that no spud need ever end up in the bin. ‘I know what it’s like to struggle,’ she says. ‘It comes from growing up in a household where we couldn’t afford to throw anything away, so I find ways of giving things a new lease of life. I’m really grateful for that upbringing.’
It’s also kept her feet on the ground. ‘My parents don’t care about the job I do. They say, “You’re no more important than your siblings.” That’s very humbling in an industry where your ego can get inflated.’ More importantly, Nadiya has become much more comfortable with herself.
‘I used to hate my dark skin because I felt it hindered my progress. On top of that I’m a Muslim and I wear a headscarf. All these elements made me feel like I stood out – and not in a positive way. But now I’ve embraced all of that and I don’t care if I’m the only woman wearing a hijab in the room. I sit there with pride.’
- Nadiya’s Cook Once, Eat Twice, Tuesday, 7.30pm, BBC2 and BBC iPlayer
