The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck audiobook

I went into this admittedly with quite some skepticism and entitlement— “what is this going to teach me that I don’t already know?”— but The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is truly one of the most ground-shaping nonfiction books I’ve read so far. It will and can change a perspective, a life. And as such, this is the perfect book to give to your loved ones on holidays, birthdays...It made me rethink all the times I ever gave a fuck over some of the most irrelevant things in hindsight. It made me realize that it’s sometimes necessary to take a step back and re-evaluate why I think so-and-so on a daily basis.I also wrote down a lot of Mark Manson’s writing into my notes because I knew I would need it in the near future. And I would like to thank him for answering quite a lot of fears of mine with such a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth.The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck was both personally relevant and entertaining.Here are a few pieces that helped me and then some:“The key to a good life is not giving a fuck about more; it’s giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.”“Because when you give too many fucks—when you give a fuck about everyone and everything—you will feel that you’re perpetually entitled to be comfortable and happy at all times, that everything is supposed to be just exactly the fucking way you want it to be. This is a sickness. And it will eat you alive. You will see every adversity as an injustice, every challenge as a failure, every inconvenience as a personal slight, every disagreement as a betrayal. You will be confined to your own petty, skull-sized hell, burning with entitlement and bluster, running circles around your very own personal Feedback Loop from Hell, in constant motion yet arriving nowhere”YES! This is exactly how I feel when I give too many fucks about things that have little lasting impact on my life.“Life is essentially an endless series of problems, Mark,” the panda told me. He sipped his drink and adjusted the little pink umbrella. “The solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one.”A moment passed, and then I wondered where the fuck the talking panda came from. And while we’re at it, who made these margaritas?“Don’t hope for a life without problems,” the panda said. “There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.”Disappointment Panda was one of the best additions to this book.“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who run triathlons and have chiseled abs and can bench-press a small house. People who enjoy long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who fly to the top of it. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainties of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.This is not about willpower or grit. This is not another admonishment of “no pain, no gain.” This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes. Our problems birth our happiness, along with slightly better, slightly upgraded problems.See: it’s a never-ending upward spiral. And if you think at any point you’re allowed to stop climbing, I’m afraid you’re missing the point. Because the joy is in the climb itself.”This book is slowly but surely shifting my world.“If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.”“Honesty is a good value because it’s something you have complete control over, it reflects reality, and it benefits others (even if it’s sometimes unpleasant). Popularity, on the other hand, is a bad value. If that’s your value, and if your metric is being the most popular guy/girl at the dance party, much of what happens will be out of your control: you don’t know who else will be at the event, and you probably won’t know who half those people are. Second, the value/metric isn’t based on reality: you may feel popular or unpopular, when in fact you have no fucking clue what anybody else really thinks about you. (Side Note: As a rule, people who are terrified of what others think about them are actually terrified of all the shitty things they think about themselves being reflected back at them.)”That side note is speaking the truth!!!“I’m not saying that this excused what my ex did—not at all. But recognizing my mistakes helped me to realize that I perhaps hadn’t been the innocent victim I’d believed myself to be. That I had a role to play in enabling the shitty relationship to continue for as long as it did. After all, people who date each other tend to have similar values. And if I dated someone with shitty values for that long, what did that say about me and my values? I learned the hard way that if the people in your relationships are selfish and doing hurtful things, it’s likely you are too, you just don’t realize it.”Taking responsibly for your actions, but not blaming yourself was one of the most valuable lessons I got from Mark Manson.“A lot of people might hear all of this and then say something like, “Okay, but how? I get that my values suck and that I avoid responsibility for all of my problems and that I’m an entitled little shit who thinks the world should revolve around me and every inconvenience I experience—but how do I change?”And to this I say, in my best Yoda impersonation: “Do, or do not; there is no ‘how.’ ”You are already choosing, in every moment of every day, what to give a fuck about, so change is as simple as choosing to give a fuck about something else.It really is that simple. It’s just not easy.It’s not easy because you’re going to feel like a loser, a fraud, a dumbass at first. You’re going to be nervous. You’re going to freak out. You may get pissed off at your wife or your friends or your father in the process. These are all side effects of changing your values, of changing the fucks you’re giving. But they are inevitable.It’s simple but really, really hard.”“Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don’t go from “wrong” to “right.” Rather, we go from wrong to slightly less wrong. And when we learn something additional, we go from slightly less wrong to slightly less wrong than that, and then to even less wrong than that, and so on. We are always in the process of approaching truth and perfection without actually ever reaching truth or perfection.”He’s changing my world right now.“We all have values for ourselves. We protect these values. We try to live up to them and we justify them and maintain them. Even if we don’t mean to, that’s how our brain is wired. As noted before, we’re unfairly biased toward what we already know, what we believe to be certain. If I believe I’m a nice guy, I’ll avoid situations that could potentially contradict that belief. If I believe I’m an awesome cook, I’ll seek out opportunities to prove that to myself over and over again. The belief always takes precedence. Until we change how we view ourselves, what we believe we are and are not, we cannot overcome our avoidance and anxiety. We cannot change.In this way, “knowing yourself” or “finding yourself” can be dangerous. It can cement you into a strict role and saddle you with unnecessary expectations. It can close you off to inner potential and outer opportunities.I say don’t find yourself. I say never know who you are. Because that’s what keeps you striving and discovering. And it forces you to remain humble in your judgments and accepting of the differences in others.”I didn't even realize I felt this way until I saw it so clearly on paper.“There’s a kind of self-absorption that comes with fear based on an irrational certainty. When you assume that your plane is the one that’s going to crash, or that your project idea is the stupid one everyone is going to laugh at, or that you’re the one everyone is going to choose to mock or ignore, you’re implicitly telling yourself, “I’m the exception; I’m unlike everybody else; I’m different and special.”This is narcissism, pure and simple. You feel as though your problems deserve to be treated differently, that your problems have some unique math to them that doesn’t obey the laws of the physical universe.My recommendation: don’t be special; don’t be unique. Redefine your metrics in mundane and broad ways. Choose to measure yourself not as a rising star or an undiscovered genius. Choose to measure yourself not as some horrible victim or dismal failure. Instead, measure yourself by more mundane identities: a student, a partner, a friend, a creator.”That thing about the plane is 100% me!! So I get it know: if you think you’re special—decide not to be.“The desire to avoid rejection at all costs, to avoid confrontation and conflict, the desire to attempt to accept everything equally and to make everything cohere and harmonize, is a deep and subtle form of entitlement. Entitled people, because they feel as though they deserve to feel great all the time, avoid rejecting anything because doing so might make them or someone else feel bad. And because they refuse to reject anything, they live a valueless, pleasure-driven, and self-absorbed life. All they give a fuck about is sustaining the high a little bit longer, to avoid the inevitable failures of their life, to pretend the suffering away.”“If you make a sacrifice for someone you care about, it needs to be because you want to, not because you feel obligated or because you fear the consequences of not doing so. If your partner is going to make a sacrifice for you, it needs to because he or she genuinely wants to, not because you’ve manipulated the sacrifice through anger or guilt. Acts of love are valid only if they’re performed without conditions or expectations.” Damn, I wasn’t prepared for The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck to completely change my worldview in such a meaningful way. I will cherish this book for a long time to come.4.5/5 stars*Note: I'm an Amazon Affiliate. If you're interested in buying The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, just click on the image below to go through my link. I'll make a small commission!* This review and more can be found on my blog.

4 stars! This book wasn't only about giving no fucks, it was about giving fucks about only the important things. If you're going to read it, I would recommend the audio book. I thought the narration was great and it was highly entertaining and made me laugh out loud more than once!!

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life, Mark MansonThe Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck was published under the imprint of HarperOne, a division of HarperCollins Publishers, and was released on September 13, 2016. The book is a reaction to the self-help industry and what Manson saw as a culture of mindless positivity that isn't practical or helpful for most people. Manson uses many of his own personal experiences to illustrate how life's struggles often give it more meaning, which, he argues, is a better approach than constantly trying to be happy. Manson's approach and writing style have been categorized by some as contrarian to the general self-help industry, using blunt honesty and profanity to illustrate his ideas.The book has 9 chapters with the following titles:1. Don't Try,2. Happiness is a problem,3. You are not special,4. The value of suffering,5. You are always choosing,6. You are wrong about everything (But so am I),7. Failure is the way forward,8. The importance of saying no,and 9. And then you die.عنوانهای چاپ شده در ایران: «هنر ظریف بی‌خیالی»؛ «هنر ظریف رهایی از دغدغه ها»؛ و ...؛ نویسنده: مارک مانسون؛ تاریخ نخستین خوانش: روز پنجم ماه نوامبر سال2018میلادیعنوان: هنر ظریف بی‌خیالی؛ نویسنده: مارک مانسون؛ مترجم: پرستو عوض‌زاده؛ تهران سلسله مهر‏‫، سال‏‫‬‏1396؛ در227ص؛ شابک9786005260748؛ موضوع: راه و رسم زندگی از نویسندگان ایالات متحده آمریکا - سده21معنوان: هنر ظریف رهایی از دغدغه ها؛ نویسنده: مارک مانسون؛ مترجم: میلاد بشیری؛ تهران انتشارات میلکان‏‫، سال1396؛ در224ص؛ شابک9786008812616؛ چاپ نود و هشتم سال1400؛و ترجمه های بسیار دیگر از خانمها و آقایان: فهیمه فتحی؛ الهام شریف؛ بهجت نجفی؛ محمدصادق زمانی‮‬؛ محمدرسول نصرتی؛ مهدی مرادی؛ فاطمه بلدی، محمد خلعتبری؛ نريمان افشاری؛ سوسن اسدی؛ فاطمه عابدی، مژگان طالب‌زاده؛ پرستو عوض‌زاده؛ علیرضا درستیان؛ فرشته ناصری‌ملکی و اکبر فرخ‌زاد؛ نازیلا مکاری؛ پیمان اصلانی؛ ژیلا باقری؛ فریبا بردبار؛ فرزام حبیبی‌اصفهانی؛ حمید غلامی؛ زهره شيشه‌چی؛ عباس فتاح‌الجنان؛ صدیقه حسینی؛ مریم رزاقی؛ مهدیه شعبانی‌فقفوری؛ محبوبه قاقم‌پوش؛ منیژه شیخ‌جوادی (بهزاد)؛ نازنین نیکوسرشت؛ ناهید نیازیان؛ محمدرضا شیروانی؛ فاطمه غلامی؛ بنیامین رهدار؛ نرگس محمودی؛ علی محمدی‌مطلق؛ شهرزاد رحیمى؛ زینب انسان‌؛ محمدرضا شیروانی؛ زهرا آلوشی؛ رشید جعفرپور؛ واحد ترجمه انتشارات کلید آموزش؛ رقیه فیروزی؛ زهره مستی؛ منصوره خمکده؛ فرشاد قدیری؛ آرزو یوسفی؛ میلاد بشیری؛ محبوبه سلیمانی‌درچه؛ مینا امیری؛ محمدهادی آقاجانی؛ و ...؛هنر ظریف بی‌خیالی، یا «هنر رندانهٔ به * گرفتن» کتابی از نویسنده ی آمریکایی «مارک منسن» است، که نخستین بار در سال 2016میلادی در «آمریکا» منتشر گردید؛ این کتاب راهنمایی است برای رهایی از نگرانی‌های پوچ، و بیخود روزمره ی جهان کنونی، که امروزه گریبان‌گیر بسیاری از انسان‌ها شده‌ است؛ کتاب یادشده، تا ماه ژانویه سال 2019میلادی بیش از سه میلیون نسخه، فروش داشته‌، و در رده ی کتاب‌های پرفروش قرارگرفته است؛ این کتاب به تسکین درد‌ها و رنج‌های شما اهمیتی نمی‌دهد، و دقیقاً برای همین است که صادقانه نوشته شده استاین کتاب، راهنمای شما به سوی بزرگواری نیست؛ زیرا بزرگواری، تنها توهم ذهن ما هست؛ یک مقصد ساختگی، که خود را به دنبال کردن آن متعهد می‌کنیم، اما وجود خارجی ندارد؛ در عوض، این کتاب، رنج‌های شما را به ابزار، دردهای شما را به توانایی، و مشکلات‌تان را به مشکلات کمی بهتر بدل می‌کند؛ این همان پیشرفت راستین‌ ست؛ کتاب را به عنوان یک راهنما برای رنج کشیدن بدانید؛ برای این‌که چگونه اینکار را بهتر، و با مهربانی و فروتنی بیشتر انجام دهید.؛ کتاب درباره‌ ی آرام حرکت کردن، به‌ رغم بارهای سنگینی که بر دوش می‌کشید، و کنار آمدنِ راحت‌تر با ترس‌ها، و خندیدن به اشک‌هایتان است.؛ این کتاب به شما یاد نمی‌دهد که چگونه چیزی را به دست بیاورید، و پیروز شوید؛ بلکه می‌آموزد که چگونه ببازید، و رها کنید.؛ به شما می‌آموزد، که چشم‌های خود را ببندید، و باور داشته باشید، که می‌توانید به پشت بیفتید، و با وجود آن، مشکلی پیش نیاید.؛ به شما می‌آموزد که کمتر اهمیت بدهید، و تلاش نکنیدتاریخ بهنگام رسانی 12/05/1399هجری خورشیدی؛ ا. شربیانی

Oh, wow. I loved this. I really really loved this. I loved that this was so... freely written. Who cares if there are tons of curses in it? Everything he says or teaches us is always followed or introduced with a personal or historical story. There are always examples, stories, explanations that are not overly complicated. The whole book was full of honest, true and really interesting stuff. These were my favorite: - Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent, it means being comfortable with being different. - Pain, in all of its forms, is our body’s most effective means of spurring action. - People who become great at something become great because they understand that they’re not already great - they are mediocre, they are average - and that they could be so much better. - Self-awareness is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you’re going to start crying at inappropriate times. - This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you value things. - Until we change how we view ourselves, what we believe we are and are not, we cannot overcome our avoidance and anxiety. We cannot change. - If you’re stuck on a problem, don’t sit there and think about it, just start working on it. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head. - You too are going to die, and that’s because you too were fortunate enough to have lived. All in all I’ll just recommend this to all my non-reader friends and to you, my wonderful Goodreads people, because I loved it and I want you to read this too! Happy reading ♥️

"The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience."I never thought of reading this book. Saw a hype about it recently in a group on facebook. So I just wanted to know what this book is about. After reading the blurb on goodreads, I thought to give it a go, see what's the hype about. So I started listening to the audiobook. "Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different."First thing I learned from this book is, never judge a book by its cover or title or first chapter. In the first chapter, the author said f*ck like a 100 times. I think there was no need to said that word this many times. I don't have any problem with saying fuck. But when I read/listen to fuck this many times in just one chapter, I cannot help but feel irritated. So yeah, I was irritated but decided to go on. And I am glad of my decision. "Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what’s truly fuckworthy."I don't think this book is an inspiring one. The writer didn't want to tell people how to be motivated or how to be a successful person. He simply told how to be happy in life. What is the mantra behind peace and happiness in one's life. And I have to say I totally agree. And that mantra is not giving a fuck. Well, now some may think that not giving a fuck means being indifferent to everything. But that's not true. There's a very thin line between being indifferent and being indifferent to the things that are not important in life. Mark Manson talked about this difference and how we care about everything. In this book, he shared many of his thoughts about happiness, emotion, sufferings, values, responsibilities, rejections, and relations of our life. And I agree with most of the things he said. You can say I am bragging but I found that my thoughts and ideas about life are a lot like Mark Manson. And yes I was lame and pathetic once. But I am growing. I am learning the subtle art of not giving a fuck. "Being wrong opens us up to the possibility of change. Being wrong brings the opportunity for growth."One thing I love while reading something is when I find some character I can relate to real life. And this book was full of it. Sometimes I find someone who is exactly like my friend, then someone pretty much like my boss and finally someone a lot like me. It was a major point why I liked this book. "There is a simple realization from which all personal improvement and growth emerge. This is the realization that we, individually, are responsible for everything in our lives, no matter the external circumstances. We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond. Whether we consciously recognize it or not, we are always responsible for our experiences."There's one thing that I didn't understand the last chapter. And I was thinking of giving a star less for it. Then I thought maybe I haven't grown that much yet. So yeah I will reread the last chapter after two or three years and see if it makes any sense. So 5 stars for now... :D "To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is, therefore, a form of action..."

4.50 ⭐GENRE - NON FICTION/SELF HELP.Amazing Book, The Author Mark Manson has taken a completely opposite approach towards ways of living life, his notion of acceptance of one's flaws and than rectifying it with acceptance is pretty unique.From Climax of reading books like Atomic Habits, How to win friends and influence people, Who will cry when I die? This book is anti climax 🤣However I personally liked the authors views on relationships, it gave me a complete new perspective and angle towards treating relationships.A must read However there is too much use of F word in the Book !Thanks 😊

3.5 starsI’m not sure what possessed me to listen to this audiobook. I have ZERO interest in self help books. But once I started, I thought it was good enough to keep going.The title is there for shock value, but it’s not a particularly shocking book, unless you’re easily put off by swearing. The author is not really advocating that we all drop everything and run to the beach. He’s arguing for recalibrating what matters to you, and acting on it.The secondary title - “a counterintuitive approach to living a good life” - is deceptive. There’s nothing counterintuitive here. There’s a lot of common sense. But it’s pretty good common sense. And also timely in many ways. So I didn’t have any aha moments, but I nodded my head a fair bit.The question that kept buzzing at the back of my mind is how likely people are to be able to make dramatic changes in their lives by being told to shift the focus on what matters to them. In other words, easier said than done. But still worth thinking about every now and then.I think I’ll stick to my ZERO self help books policy, but this wasn’t a bad foray out of my usual comfort zones.

After having read considerable number of self-help books, I am now at a stage where when I pick-up a self-help book, I hope I can run into new concepts which can surprise me. I find myself deriving useful advice from mindfulness practice, mythology and neuroscience these days rather than the classical self-help category of books. Did this book surprise me? – the early part of it did, it came across as frank and steered clear of regurgitating or inventing pretentious concepts.This book starts off well – warning in a subtle way to be wary of jargons which have become mainstream but serve no useful purpose. A good example is how everybody is destined for greatness which in the corporate world is used as a motivation tool. There is this undercurrent in such messages that you are largely inadequate the way you are. Another warning he offers is that if you feel the need to constantly affirm something, you are only artificially masking insecurities temporarily. A lot of the advice – on finding purpose, noticing things which bring you lasting happiness, curbing the constant urge to seek affirmation from others, slowing down etc is sensible. After some time though, as the book enters the mid-sections, it feels as if it has run out of new material to offer. Since the book is more pragmatic and less pretentious than most self-help literature, I do recommend it. The major drawback though is that it has less action-oriented advice – though it quotes mindfulness teachings, it does not go deep enough. My rating: 3.5 / 5.

This was a great book! I've been seeing it everywhere so I wanted to read it. This book was great at reminding you that you shouldn't care what other people think. It is important to do what you want and what your heart wants. It also reminds you that you don't need to be famous or have a spectacular life to have a great life. This is YOUR life. Do what YOU want!

Second Read:7th of September, 20221st edit:What a simple but profound read.I find myself rereading this book every couple years since it's release and when I'm done I realize why; it provides a kind of grounding or electrical earthing in shocking me into the remembrance of everything (conceptual outlooks, beliefs, biases, and general thoughts) that do/don't matter to me in life and prods me into bringing back my ever widening and detrimental focus (of superficial concepts, beliefs and my never ending need in catering and wanting to indulge in baseless conformity within my social structure and culture) to the things I deem truly worth my while and important in pursuance of a life I will be proud of later on.I'd urge any reader looking for something that the writing stays light while dealing in truly insightful and profound ideas to read this. Highly Recommended.