My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

I apologize if you get this one a lot, i searched for key terms but didnt see it and just in case…

My most referenced meme is actually this sign from a furniture store's going out of business sale in my hometown.

TASTEFULLY YOURS | 1.01
A Taste of Familiarity

new femme-only 7-11 opened on my street

From my bestie in Thailand. The second sign went up hours later

A billboard in my city.Im not sure if its still there.If its not it holds true

more

Unintentionally ominous sign a friend took a photo of at a JoAnn's that's closing.

My sister sent me this photo today with zero context and I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe

Sign at my local movie theater that feels like a desperate warning

Eggman's security system during a break-in

Sometimes, I really love working with archaeologists

Damn I should have done this at the lab last winter, we had a big bin of things that looked like lithic artifacts until we cleaned them and looked at them under a lens. Just rocks. Please take a rock in this trying time.

Pet rocks: free to a good home!

You can tell a lot about the health of a civilization by their warning signs. Places with a lot of dumb folks will have very broad, very dumb warnings in public. "No feeding the birds." "Stop swimming in this drainage pond." That kind of thing.

Advanced civilizations have very precise signs. They've covered the bases of their regular, run-of-the-mill idiots, and now they're working hard to cover that other end of the bell curve: the talented idiot. When I was in Germany last time, there was a big warning sign that consisted of a 76-letter-long word that means "stop bothering this particular goose, Sven." I don't know who Sven was, but the goose looked pretty calm. It worked.

Now, I have a secret to tell you. You can just make your own signs. There's no law against it, except perhaps "littering," and the municipal sign factory doesn't have very good security. If you show up there past close and put in the door code that you shoulder-surfed off one of the employees returning from lunch a week prior, you have all night to fuck around with their sign-printing machine, making the most official-looking placards you can think of.

Is this wrong? I don't think so. It's a public space, and being able to put up an aluminum sign that says wacky crank shit is your right. For instance, just last week, I banned pickup trucks from parking by the playground. The cops figured out something was going on, because they didn't get any calls for toddlers getting backed over for a couple of days and sent a patrol truck to investigate. Took my sign right down.

What I discovered after that is that nobody keeps records of what signs are supposed to be there. Why would anyone put up a sign for no reason? They cost money, after all. The city is now suing the shit out of that officer for stealing the "no trucks" sign, thanks to an anonymous tipster who called in the theft. Guy wearing a reflective vest came by and put like four more of them up after the lawsuit made the news, just out of spite. I'm not entirely sure if he's actually a city worker; we ran into each other at 3am at the sign factory and just grunted. He was working on some really crazy signs about not feeding a particular swan. Probably German.

every sign has a backstory

Taking the DIES key to the OMEN room

wassup

Bombay road sign.

Finds from @halerpal

i kept thinking about this while i was trying to fall asleep yesterday and couldn’t stop laughing myself back awake

That's downright terrifying tbh

I’m thinking this is a sign you shouldn’t have the Amazon Echo in the office to begin with but that’s just me

anyone selling?

@ominous-signs

Official ominous sign

Due to the Unfortunate!

We are deeply out of Onions!

"Yes, yes, I know how capitalism works."

Experience the Moth.

CAN THEY????