it's the cross-dressing of nokdu that does it for me in the tale of nokdu. tbh it suggests that dong-ju is much more fluid in her feelings than the simple mlw narrative implies. she loves a man that dresses like a woman, that passes as a woman for the vast majority of the show.
in parallel, he loves a woman that dresses as a man, that passes as a man so that she can avenge her family. and it's the fact that she dresses as a man that leaves such a strong impression on him upon meeting her again at the kisaeng place.
i think the gender dynamics, the fluidity of emotions were so good in this show, it makes the lead pairing so interesting. on the other hand, a lot of secondary interactions between the characters become layered with deeper meaning due to the constant cross-dressing of the main characters, who appear to only be able to achieve their goals through their incessant back-and-forths between dressing as a woman or dressing as a man. for nearly the entire show, it's as if transgressing these lines are essential parts to their own identity. it is the way they choose to be able to fully navigate their worlds and cope with their quests for something else (both seeking a form of revelation by the way).
if we take this into account: she loves a man who dresses as a woman while trying to learn the truth about who he is. he loves a woman who dresses as a man while trying to reveal who she is. and their identity crises are both related to the king (symbolically the patriarchal figure). the concept is actually sooooo powerful.
it's such a good show, way more nuanced and complex than meets the eye.
(also huuuuge props for featuring only-women spaces <3)