Groom shocks wedding guests — and his mom — with NSFW vows
This newlywed put the “sick” in “in sickness and in health.”
If his bride wasn’t blushing before, a groom set off alarm bells online over his offensive wedding vows, in which he wished for his wife to shower him with copious sex and home-cooked food. TikTok footage of the misogynistic monologue grossed (emphasis on “gross”) more than 18.9 million views along with horrified reactions from viewers, who thought his bride should untie the knot ASAP. [Warning: The content may be disturbing to some readers.]
“You’re not going to believe what he said in his vows,” warned Jonathan Pajak, the wedding photographer on duty that day, while describing the sordid scene for his followers on social media.
The video starts off forebodingly enough with the groom, named Michael, telling the fotog that he hopes he and his future bride “have a lot of sex.”
The footage then cuts to the aspiring hubby exchanging vows with his purple-haired wife-to-be, named Destiny, as his own mother officiates the ceremony. Michael looks up at his paramour and whispers “you’re screwed” before launching into a speech fit for the Porn Awards.
The apparent groomzilla said that only “two things are required to keep me happy,” which were keeping his “belly full” and his genitals “empty.” “Though you’re amazing at half of it, we really need to get you some cooking lessons,” the cretin declared, eliciting both chuckles and groans from the audience.
He continued, “Even if my belly isn’t full, there is no one I could ever love more in this lifetime unless I actually get a chance to meet Margot Robbie.”
All the while, Destiny can be seen giggling sheepishly with her vow script covering her face.
However, her other half’s impromptu bridal roast was far from done. “Since the beginning, I was always told life gets even better when the kids fall asleep and you tell me to come to the bedroom,” Michael quipped to uncomfortable laughter.
At one point, his boudoir descriptions got so lurid that his mom, who had been standing silently until now, hissed his name in mock disapproval. She even joked that her son was “grounded” over the NSFW speech.
Appalled viewers were quick to slam Michael over his controversial comedy routine, calling the speech “icky” and a “red flag” for their marriage. “My jaw was on the floor … is this real? Immediately, no,” one wrote.
“That’s actually so sad because he only talked about her [physically] not that he loved her not anything like that,” another lamented.
“If I was her, we’d no longer be married & I’d tell him to go find Margot Robbie so he can be rejected by two women in the same day,” quipped one commenter.
Despite the backlash, Destiny was quick to defend her hubby. In her response on TikTok, captioned “sorry not sorry,” the alleged happily married gal said that she did not regret one thing about her soulmate’s speech or her big day in general.
“Yes I’m happy, yes I’m still married, yes, I love my wedding, and there is nothing that I would have changed,” she declared. “I loved his vows. I loved my vows. I loved our wedding day.”
Destiny went on to describe how his vows “showcased a piece of his personality, which is the humor side, which is definitely Michael.” She said, by contrast, her vows displayed her character, which is “not outspoken like Michael.”
Indeed, her speech, posted on TikTok by Pajak, proved the polar opposite of her husband’s, with Destiny fawningly describing her betrothed as her “best friend” and “knight in shining armor.”
Destiny summed up herself and her husband as “two opposites” who “go together so damn well.”
She added that she knew what she was “getting into” when she married him, per the video. “I have known him since 2010, this is how he was since then,” the bride explained. “We started dating in 2013, he was like this then.”
Destiny concluded the clip with a rebuttal to all the “haters,” writing: “I know you’re wrong because I actually know my relationship and I know myself and I know Michael.
“So, I’m sorry if you’re just not that happy with your life,” she continued. “There’s never a dull moment in my relationship. I’m sorry if you don’t have the same. And if you don’t want the same, good for you, go find someone who you think you deserve or deserves you.”
Destiny declared that “Michael is too good for me,” adding, “I will say that till the day I die.”
