STARS in their courses, whether they be a winsome Jill Clayburgh in a charming return or a cheerful Richard Thomas in continuing orbit, rarely affect the ultimate fate of plays – especially ones that make the average TV sitcom look good.
Richard Greenberg’s fatuous “A Naked Girl on the Appian Way,” which opened last night in a beautifully acted and staged Roundabout Theatre production, is the perfect example.
There’s virtually nothing wrong with this play except the play itself.
Comedies need some kernel of truth, a nugget of possibility, either in the credibility of characters or the interplay of situation. And, like all drama, they need dialogue that’s convincing.
Greenberg offers us Bess Lapin (Clayburgh), an unlikely cookbook writer with her own TV show and an even more unlikely diffident retired business tycoon of a husband, Jeffrey (Thomas).
They are very, very rich and live in a to-die-for gorgeous house in the to-die-for Hamptons. They also have three post-college children – two, as the curtain rises, returning from an 18-month tour of Europe. Surprise: Their sibling love has taken a turn toward the carnal, and they plan to marry.
Incest? Not quite. By now we’ve gathered that the Lapins’ offspring are adopted.
For all its easygoing, old-time hipness, the family is troubled. The third sibling feels especially rejected because he is bisexual.
That’s the plot. How will this farrago end? If you’d guess predictably, you’d be right.
Doug Hughes, with his perfect timing and ear for nuance even where it scarcely exists, has staged the play as if it made as much sense as the architectural, unlived-in splendor of John Lee Beatty’s setting and the spot-on aptness of Catherine Zuber’s costumes.
Clayburgh – her eyes lit up in perpetual amazement of the world’s wonders, while her voice tentatively chirps their praise – makes us wonder how we did without her all these years.
Thomas, at 54 (that must be some portrait he’s got in his attic!), is her perfect match.
For a play not worth seeing, it’s been extraordinarily well done.
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A NAKED GIRL ON THE APPIAN WAY
[* 1/2] (One and one-half stars)
American Airlines Theatre, 227 W. 42nd St.; (212) 719-1300.