Office politics is alive at SEC
It’s been tough going for Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Harvey Pitt – compounded by his many political and p.r. gaffes – but no worse than it’s been for his beleaguered staff in the communications division at the Wall Street watchdog agency.
Nine months after being hired as the director of the office of public affairs, Christi Harlan finally moved into the director’s office, sources there said.
Not that the commission didn’t have the space, but rather because Pitt’s first ill-fated hire for the job, Michael Robinson, was ensconced in it.
But in less than three months Harlan was abruptly brought onboard as top press handler.
Robinson lost the title but kept the office, insiders said, until he finally left the SEC in September, having found another home at spin-meisters Hill and Knowlton, insiders said.
Gallows humor at J.P. Morgan
It’s good to see that working for a company whose stock has fallen 53 percent this year and is about to lay off 4,000 employees doesn’t have to kill your sense of humor.
The fine, polished folks at J.P. Morgan got a few chuckles last week after a satirical e-mail made the rounds reporting the company’s plans to cut its work force by 120 percent.
Such gallows humor was common at Internet companies two years ago but relatively new at the well-heeled House of Morgan.
In fact, the bogus quote attributed to bogus analyst Beldon McInty of Bear Stearns rings a little too possible in times that have seen several spectacular bankruptcies.
“It’s a little early to tell, but by eliminating all its employees, J.P. Morgan may jeopardize its market position and could, at least theoretically, cease to exist.”
Wall Street binding wounds in sunny Boca
In early November, Wall Street’s leaders will converge, as they do every year, in balmy Boca Raton to discuss the future of their industry. This year’s focus: building investor confidence.
A suspicious soul might ask, how can 500 people who put Wall Street in a position to lose investor confidence so quickly and conclusively plot to rebuild it in one boozy three-day chow-down in Florida?
Well, they can’t. But they can do some things to make it seem like they really care.
First off, don’t meet at a resort where rooms go for $400 a night (so maybe they could invite some of the investors whose trust they want back so badly).
Secondly, get some new faces. The speakers’ list includes New York Stock Exchange chief Dick Grasso, Nasdaq Stock Market boss Wick Simmons, UBS PaineWebber CEO Joe Grano and Securities and Exchange Commission honcho Harvey Pitt.
All of these guys – even in previous jobs – were in a perfect position to maintain investor confidence during the bull market of the late 1990s. And all of them – aided by their wing-tipped troops – squandered the opportunity once already.
Perhaps not coincidentally, there’s a bar at the Boca Raton Resort and Club where magicians perform sleight of hand tricks for amused patrons.
Judging from the way Wall Street pros have performed, conventioneers have learned all too well how to make their customers’ money disappear.
FORTUNE COVER MINDS THE GAP
Looks like Fortune fell into the Gap.
The business magazine features trophy husband Brian Shanahan, with darling daughters Riley and Casey, on its current cover on the stay-at-home men who back powerful women.
Shanahan’s wife is general counsel at the Gap.
But Fortune might not have realized that it was, in effect, putting a Gap ad on its cover. Shanahan and the girls are clad head to toe in duds from Gap, Old Navy and Banana Republic – all Gap brands.
Photos of the happy family also grace the inside pages, where more Gap clothes appear.
A Gap spokeswoman insists the outfits were inadvertent, and that’s just how the family happened to be dressed when the Fortune photographer came calling.
Bull’s Eye believes her. After all, Shanahan gets a 40 percent family discount at all Gap stores. We’re sure there’s nothing but Gap clothes in the Shanahan family closets.
THE WEEK’S WINNERS AND LOSERS
Joe Weider, muscleman publisher of Men’s Fitness and Flex magazines, hopes to sell Weider Publications for $350 million.
Texas Sen. Phil Gramm snared a new job as vice chairman at UBS Warburg, where he will advise on corporate governance issues.
Vernon L. Smith and Daniel Kahneman won the Nobel Prize in economics for their work on how people make decisions.
Herbert Allison Jr., former president of Merrill Lynch, was named president and CEO of TIAA-CREF, the nation’s largest pension fund.
Losers
Mark Swartz, former Tyco chief financial officer, was asked by the company to return millions in severance payments.
Steve Case, chairman of AOL Time Warner, is under pressure to resign in the wake of a Securities and Exchange Commission probe into alleged improper booking of revenues.
Ron Perelman, CEO of Revlon, will have plenty of trouble raising cash following a downgrade by Moody’s.
Harlan Waksal, CEO of ImClone Systems, was grilled by Congress in an investigation into an alleged $244 million insider-trading scheme.
AOL TW chief chills in Italy
AOL Time Warner chief Dick Parsons has a lot on his mind these days, but that hasn’t prevented him from having a good time.
Parsons was recently spotted in Italy enjoying a Gelatto, seemingly without a care in the world.
But we assume this bit of serenity was short-lived given the turmoil at his company back in New York.
AOL Time Warner’s stock has tanked, it’s in the midst of an ongoing SEC investigation into accounting practices that sources say could mushroom sooner rather than later and controversy is swirling over the future of Chairman Steve Case.
For investors’ sake, we hope Parsons’ Italian vacation helped him clear his mind.