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ON THE NEWSSTAND

Wasn’t there a major earthquake in Turkey this week?

Instead of leading with the story of devastating death and destruction, both Time and Newsweek serve up toothless cover stories.

Taking care of our aging parents is Time’s lead. While the story is not exactly attention-grabbing, it is important and does offer some helpful advice. There’s not much else to recommend this issue, though. The package on presidential hopeful George W. Bush is just a rehashing of last week’s news, though the piece written by longtime Clinton adviser James Carville puts a nice spin on the Texas governor’s shady past.

Meanwhile, Newsweek’s cover story is on Bill Gates and his recent $6 billion investment into his charitable foundations. It offers up some new numbers, but the article seems to be more about softening up the Microsoft chairman’s image than presenting a straight new story. Newsweek’s coverage of the big quake in Turkey is informative, but we expected more from both newsweeklies. Don’t miss the article on Mexico’s people smugglers, who are faring much better than their rival drug traffickers.

If you’re still trying to plan your summer vacation (and if you are, it’s time you did), you’ll want to peruse the new batch of travel monthlies. They feature everything from celebrities to cowboys this month.

Travel & Leisure hits newsstands with its popular World’s Best Awards. This is always a must-read because readers, not editors on expense accounts, are the only voters.

Of course, that doesn’t mean the destinations aren’t pricey. Monte Carlo’s Les Thermes Marin – that’s hot water to you yokels – Spa, where a twice-daily massage is de rigeur, got a strong reader vote. You might say the place is highly “esteamed.”

Aussies will be pleased to hear that Sydney was named best city in the world, while readers voted San Francisco the No. 1 city in the United States. New York City is No. 2. Mayor Giuliani may have something to say about that.

The always-stunning Isabella Rossellini graces the cover of Conde Nast Traveler’s “All-Star Issue.” She is just one of dozens of celebs (if you count Yassir Arafat as a celeb) who share their favorite vacation haunts. With everyone from Arafat to Donatella Versace – and Tom Brokaw, Matt Damon, Angelica Huston and Lyle Lovett in between – this is the definitive guide to taking star-quality holidays.

Sandra Bernhard travels to Israel to share the secrets of the Jewish Kabbalah. Bernhard says the ancient teachings have never seemed so modern. And who are we to argue?

Thailand is featured prominently in the Asia special cover package of Travel Holiday. But it is a stunning picture of a Malaysian beach that actually wins cover placement in this magazine dedicated to covering real places for real people. We did have a problem, though, with the fact that the best Malaysian deal mentioned in the picture-packed magazine is a hotel charging $230 a night. Instead, the better deal for real people with real (low) salaries is in Taiwan.

In a prominent parting of the ways, National Geographic Traveler lets its competitors head east, while it heads west. The cover story is on Bighorn Country, the mountains and ranges of Wyoming and Montana. It’s the land of real-life cowboys, folks. We have a feeling cell phones are not welcome.

NGT doesn’t have Bernhard, but it does have the better story on Israel. The writer goes on an archeological quest, which is actually way more engrossing than it sounds. She makes it all as real as if we were there when she describes etching a bone from soil that last saw daylight in the Early Bronze Age. That’s before the Bible. Before the great pyramids. Before most written language. Way before “I’m Still Here … Damn It!”

Getting down to business, this week’s Fortune ranks the 100 fastest-growing companies. The surprising part of the report is that not all of them are Internet firms. But many of them are, and the people who gave them their start-up funding are profiled in a Fortune exclusive on the biggest leveraged buyout fund ever to hit Silicon Valley. Its backers include tech giants like Bill Gates, Michael Dell and Larry Ellison.

We know InStyle is red-hot and is spawning all kinds of imitations. And this issue, “What’s Sexy Now,” is its biggest ever. But why hasn’t it raised our temperature? Even the semi-nude pictures of Rick Schroder, Jennifer Aniston and Annette Bening leave us … well, lukewarm. Besides, we don’t aspire to dress like Jennifer Lopez or Courtney Love. And, frankly, we couldn’t give a tin cup about Kevin Costner’s dream house.

Speaking of fashion, it’s that time of year again. New York magazine’s “Fall Fashion ’99” issue hits the stands this week. But it’s all a bit uninspiring. The fashions are nothing to write home about – they’re the usual too-expensive/too-bizarre-to-wear stuff. The issue gets better when it strays from fashion to gossip and media. Nikki Finke’s piece on the latest upheavals at the Hollywood talent agencies makes you realize it’s not the talent that’s so demanding, it’s the ones representing the talent that have the ego problems. The Gotham section’s tidbit about the troubles at the new Conde Nast building is nothing new, but we can’t seem to get enough of it anyway.