Starting a mindfulness habit
Don’t underestimate the power of one breath
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It’s difficult to go a day without a spiritual guru or personal development coach telling you why you should meditate and be more mindful. And yes there are over 1000 studies on the benefits of having a consistent mindfulness practice. From reducing symptoms of stress, chronic pain, depression, anxiety to improving immune function, mood regulation, concentration, memory and most impressive of all creating new grey matter in the brain. It’s a surprise no one has been able to sell us a mindfulness pill yet.
I’ve noticed in reality though, most people can’t stick to strict mindfulness practices. They start with a rosy idea of meditating 20 minutes a day and realise soon after how pathetic and neurotic they are and give up all together. There is a misconception that if you’re not floating off the ground within a few minutes then you’re probably not meditating right.
In my own spiritual quest, I have discovered mindfulness does not have to involve sitting down and meditating but can also be found in everyday experiences. Whether it’s sitting on the bus and listening to music and really hearing every chord and melody, whether it’s walking to work and just noticing the glitter of leaves over your head and the songs the birds are singing; or whether it’s sipping on a hot coffee on a cool autumn’s day and giving your whole body to the aromatic experience unfolding before you. Mindfulness comes in many different forms.
How to start: Just one breath
The essence of mindfulness is focused attention. This can come in many forms. Meng Tan, creator of one of the most sought-after mindfulness courses for employees, recommends committing to just one mindful breath a day. Observe the air entering the nostrils, slowly entering the lungs, the belly rising, the shoulders and chest lifting. And then follow the air out of the nostrils and observe the relaxation of the body.
That’s how I started. Every night before bed, I made a commitment to myself to take 1 mindful breath before sleeping. It’s hard not to have time for a single breath. This builds momentum, as you easily fulfil your commitment and stay motivated to continue. Over time I added to this 1 breath, eventually being able to sit and focus for 20 minutes and more.
Have a buddy
Much like going to the gym is a lot easier when you have someone else to go with and hold you accountable, having a mindfulness buddy can be a helpful way to keep you on track.
Meng recommends scheduling a catch-up each week to discuss how the commitment to the practice is going and if anything has arisen in your life relating to your meditation.
Do less than you can
Mingyur Rinpoche recommends doing less formal practice than you are capable of because the expectations you bring to meditation are often the greatest obstacles you will encounter.
If all you can manage is 5 minutes of meditation do 3 or 4 minutes instead. This will stop the practice becoming a chore and thus unsustainable. Meditation should be an indulgence.
Two great exercises from Meng to incorporate into daily life
Just note gone
All you have to do is note that something previously experienced is no more. For example, at the end of a breath just notice that the breath is over. When you stop thinking about something, notice that the thought is over. When you swallow a piece of food, notice the taste fading away from your mouth.
Meditation master Shinzen Young said that if he had to teach one technique over all others, it would be this one. If nothing vanishes for a while and you start worrying that nothing is ending, note each time that thought ends.
Why is this so effective? If you were going through an extremely traumatic experience that caused physical pain, emotional and mental disorientation, where could you turn to? You can’t turn to your body, mind or senses. What you can do is focus intently on the fact that each sensation passes. Instead of focusing on each new sensation arising, turn to each passing.
Loving-kindness
This exercise takes just 10 seconds of your time. All you have to do is randomly wish for somebody to be happy. During work or school randomly identify two people around you and secretly wish for them to be happy.
Just think “I wish for this person to be happy”
If no one is present, bring someone to mind.
If you want to practice this more formally, sit in a relaxed posture and repeat this exercise once per minute: Bring someone to mind who you can easily feel loving-kindness for. Wish for them to be happy. If the joy of loving-kindness arises, bring full attention to that joy until it fades away. For the rest of the minute, just rest the mind.
When the next minute begins, start the cycle again for a whole of 3 minutes.
I tend to think of two people who are close to me right now and one person who I have not seen in a long time. I have seen marked improvements in my happiness levels just because so much of my regular meditation is inwardly focused. Loving-kindness takes the focus off your problems entirely.
