Figuring out Who You Are in a World Driven by Expectations
I thought I knew myself… Until I started to learn who I was
I used to think I knew who I was. At least, I felt that I had a pretty good idea.
I never really felt confident. I was never one of the popular kids. I was never the smartest or wittiest or strongest, but I felt like I had at least accepted the aspects of myself I used to want to change.
I felt comfortable with being who the world had seemed to decide I was. We had a good relationship, me and the world’s expectations.
I fit neatly into its mould. I was quiet and shy and unsure of myself, but it worked for us. Until recently.
I acknowledged something I’d suspected for quite a while: that I felt out of place in my pre-designated role in society. Not because I felt I had been mislabeled, but because I felt misunderstood. I felt that people didn’t understand why I was the way I was. And for me, that was important.
I don’t wear makeup to look pretty for the boys; I wear it because it gives me more confidence. I am not shy because I lack self-confidence; I am shy because no one listens to me when I speak. I don’t have a full-time job, not because I’m lazy, but because I am too anxious to leave my home most of the time.
