I had a supportive husband, and I still got divorced
I had a husband who did housework, made sure my car was shoveled out when it snowed, helped with grocery shopping, did the laundry, and would cook, etc. I felt fortunate to have those things in a partner, and I know many women don’t get that kind of support from their spouse.
He also supported me in almost anything I wanted to do. I traveled for work, and he would have the kids solo for a week at a time. I got a master’s degree, and he kept the kids busy while I studied. I trained for a sprint triathlon and a half marathon. He ‘let’ me do all those things.
But being supportive and being present are different things.
He was happy with the life we built. And we had a great life. But we weren’t growing together. He was standing still, and I wanted him to come on the journey with me.
I asked for years for connection. He told me he didn’t know what I meant, so for years, I believed that if I could get the wording right, he would understand what I meant and what I wanted — no, what I needed from him. But that didn’t place any responsibility on him. Despite asking over and over, he didn’t take any initiative to try to…
