We are 10 days into Sober October. For those that observe: How is it going? I used not to see myself as a big drinker. But then I tallied my units. A few bottles of wine with friends at the weekend. A beer or two on a Thursday. I had assumed my casual drinking meant I was well within the average recommendation of 14 units a week. To my horror, it was more like 30.
I wrote an article about my units to a confusing reception. Colleagues approached me in the office kitchen to quietly confess they regularly drink far more. My article made them feel bad. Friends of friends told me my consumption was extreme: “Surely you don’t really drink that much every week?” I was worried. Am I abnormal? Should I be concerned? How much does everyone actually drink?
I began to ask around and found I was in a bubble. Friends said I was normal. (They would.) My dad didn’t bat an eyelid and my boyfriend drinks like a fish. I was surrounded by 30-units-a-weekers.
This prompted some soul searching, and during this search, I experimented with Sober October. I went to the pub on a Friday with my friends and sipped on 0 per cent beers. I hosted board game nights without wine. Very demure, very mindful.
There were positives. I went out for dinner and halved the cost of the bill. I still saw my friends just as much. We had just as much fun, even if I did get tired and leave before 11pm. By the end of the month, I expected to feel different. Rejuvenated and calmer. Less anxious. I hoped to experience some sort of clarity. To be reborn into sobriety. But I felt the same. Just slightly bored.
My life had become controlled. Not a drop of chaos remained. Some people might like this, but I found it suffocating. It took a lot of mental effort to abstain while my friends tucked in. Sharing a bottle while having a gossip is one of life’s great joys, which I refuse to give up completely.
So, instead of sobriety, I have chosen moderation. Fourteen units a week (a bottle of wine and two pints) is completely reasonable, and something I can easily maintain if I track my units. Sober October is a useful experiment in understanding your relationship with alcohol, but it’s a lesson I don’t need to learn twice.