Journal

This is my journal. I write things here as I remember them.

2024-07-27 8 year anniversary! You know what that means? the I'm in me mums cah vine is now 10 years ago. this is him now
2024-07-26 Last night was one of those uncommon nights where I didn't sleep well. At around 03:00, I heard some rain and I look outside through my window and I'm greeted with this peculiar, intense form of grief. It feels like homesick, grief, excitement. I feel it in my stomach. It's unpleasant but also somewhere it feels good in an otherwise serene moment. I want to say I'm sorry. It's weird how much heartbreak feels like someone died. It feels tough that it ended on my own issues. You can leave the past, but don't expect the past to leave you. I might not be ready, but I'm glad I was getting out there trying new stuff. I will also be going to therapy.
2024-02-25 Somebody explained how they didn't achieve their dreams due to money issues and how they became content with an alternative situation. "That sounds like copium" I said. "Life is copium!" he replied.
2023-02-27 Ya boi has a wrist injury! Currently typing this with braces on, which feels funny. This will take a few months(I hope), so unfortunately I don't expect to post anything for a while, as I can barely type. I miss programming.
2022-07-27 Six years. It has been six years. I even forgot to clean up the old celebration from the previous time xD
2022-07-02 I hadn't been ill in more than two years, but now I got ill for the second time in two months. xD no covid-19 tho, probably just a common cold
2022-02-24 This is a dark day in the history of Europe. I don't think Europe has seen something like this since World War II. Why does it have to be like this? I am saddened.
2022-02-06 Lockdown is over since three weeks btw. Funny how I completely forgot that.. xD
2022-02-05 Watched Liquorice Pizza on film with a friend today. I really enjoyed that movie.
2021-12-19 Another lockdown, a full one. Sigh. Just installed my desktop PC again, hadn't touched it in almost 3 months, while I used to spend hours on it daily. It feels so weird to use this again. Needed to download about 937 MB of updates on my way outdated Lubuntu 18.04. I should update this... Also, living on my own is hard. But I'll learn! Also, driving practice is not in the pipeline, as I can do so much with public transport now, and I can bicycle to basically anywhere in Amsterdam, which I love to do.
2021-10-02 From tomorrow onwards, I will be residing in Amsterdam. Feel free to say hi if you happen to visit Amsterdam!
2021-08-24 No longer that busy. Trying to find a room in Amsterdam. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
2021-07-27 That's it. 5 years of joppiesaus.neocities.org. Thank you all. Those who receive my special thanks: You know who you are. Still really busy. Almost forgot today, I did think about it but I thought "nah let me do it in the evening". Well it sure is the evening, it is 23:22 CEST. Thanks a ton, again.
2021-07-20 For those saddened that the extinction rebellion sticker was peeled off: someone sticked a new one on the lamp post. Underneath it there is now also a sticker of a political youth organisation present. In other news, I am going to take it easy today.
2021-07-18 Forgot to update: I am no longer quarantained. I felt so liberated. But for a whole 20 minutes. It is surprising but sad that I forget so quickly how it is to have a lack of freedom.
2021-07-14 Yesterday I saw a middle aged bold man (with a few grey hairs left) peel off a sticker from extinction rebellion of a lantern post. It felt quite funny, almost a symbol of how some governments treat climate change. Also I am really busy doing... something. Also got in contact with someone who might have covid-19 so quarantaine time LETS GOOOO
2021-05-30 Yesterday I cycled at dusk, and I saw several animals: multiple hares, a roe deer, a bird of prey, several bats and a rat. quite nice. Also dropped a large unopened peanut butter jar...
2021-03-16 Today I had my last driving practice, for the coming time. I hadn't driven since December. But I started to think, this summer I have important plants which will definitely halt driving prac. for a while. Continuity is important for me. Together with other uncertainties, I decided to suspend it for a while. I gave my instructor a box of chocolates for all his efforts over the last 4.5 years. I felt a bit sad, to be honest. I am thankful, and he understands my decision. I learned a lot, so did he, he said. We drove over the (despite lockdown crowded) freeway, in the heavy rain, after which we both ate a chocolate and talked. I don't know, I used to post a lot of personal stuff here, I don't know why I don't do that anymore. A lot has happened, both great and terrible. Oh well. Elections tomorrow.
2021-01-31 While doing my evening bicycle ride, at ~10 minutes before curfew, I saw a heron in a pond who had snuck under the net which was covering the pond. It had difficulty to escape, I puzzled whether I should call someone, but eventually it managed to escape, and it was a beautiful moment.
2020-11-19 Today I scuba dived for the first time! I only went to a depth of 1.5m and it was in a pool, but it was great fun! I really like it. Thinking about to get my basic scuba diving diploma, not sure yet. When my air cilinder was getting low I got permission for an experiment, to have my head just under water so I can just stand up at any time and see what happens, while supervised. Unsurprisingly, I ran out of air. Good to know. At some point with every breathe less air was coming out, until there wasn't coming any air out at all. Obviously this would be extremely dangerous at depths, you should be at the surface when you are no where near the red zone! I suppose diving is all about planning.
2020-10-27 Yesterday a chicken disappeared. This morning when I was feeding the chickens, another one was missing. Now is only a cock left, again. Sigh. How does this happen? What happens to the chickens? Are they eaten? Have they just gone away? Is someone abducting the chickens? Why is this the second time this happens(search/CTRL+F "chiken" on the homepage for the first time)? So many questions, so little answers.
2020-09-30 Yesterday I made a fabric face mask together with someone else, and that stuff is pretty hard and time consuming! Then I looked down at my clothes I am wearing, I look at all the stitches, and I realise how much work that must have taken. Then I thought of my entire clothing collection. It never really hit me how much time and effort that takes, until that moment. Not to mention all the cotton farms and stuff! Also, don't really know why I journal less often now, no idea. I saw a hedgehog on the street the other night.
2020-07-28 Rode on a horse today, it was great fun!
2020-07-27 4 year anniversary! yey
2020-07-24 better photo of comet. Also, that night made me sleep a hour or two less, and it was noticible during driving practice the day after. It proved to be a valuable lesson: driving while tired is dangerous.
2020-07-19 comet
2020-06-27 Yesterday driving practice, first time in a while, once again. Went really well, better than the previous time, many things are baked into my memory. Also, I love roundabouts. You rarely have to wait, you don't have to check as much stuff, and it's fun to drive. It's really going to be a milestone whenever I finally get my driver's license...d
2020-05-01 Another cat died (and driving practice).
2020-04-20 something about insects & satellites
2020-03-17 Everything in my agenda is cancelled. Everything. Now I am home, practically stuck. If you live in a country where Covid-19 hasn't spread that far and governmental measures are still relatively mild, I want to press on your heart, enjoy while it lasts. No need to panic; no need to hoard, just, enjoy. Appreciate you, have a great one.
2020-03-06 Today I played a game in VR(robo recall on the oculus rift s) and holy crap has VR been improved, really immersive. Amazing experience. I remember when a few years ago I played something on the oculus DK1, and the resolution felt like Stunts on your head. And there were no controllers. But now, stuff is impressive. Also in VR I went to the friend's virtual home or something idk and just explored some things, the view was amazing, looking over a forest valley. And there was this fireplace and there were high-resolution cubemaps reflections near it. I duck and look at it mesmerized. I feel like I am just exploring stuff again like in Pajama Sam. Amazing.
2020-02-28 Post is too big, so I have written it down here.
2020-01-25 Is this journal turning into "Today-I-saw-something-while-cycling-journal?" anyways, today I saw not one but two owls when cycling. The first one was in a small fruit tree. The second one I didn't initially see until I was within 5 meters when it flew away. It was eating a bunny I think. I hope I didn't disturb it too much.
2020-01-22 Two days ago I was cycling in the evening, but there was a cloud on the ground (thick fog), visibility was no more than 20 meters or so. It was a strange experience to cycle on the dark countryside with nothing to see. But when I looked up, I could see some stars. Amazing. I suppose it was a thin cloud.
2019-12-20 Today I got very lucky! I received a letter with an unstamped postage stamp, now I can send a letter for free! Also, the chiken is amazing, the chiken got worse and worse, it could barely move at all, it really looked like suffering, until a point and it reversed. It's still cripple but it can function as a chiken so that's good.
2019-10-04 A few weeks ago we received another chiken, as it became alone because its brothers died. However, it seems crippled. It's probably sick. :|
2019-08-28 Yesterday night I was sitting in my beach chair and looked up. Then I saw a meteor AND lightning(indirect, just the light from it) at the same time. It was really cool. Also, believe it or not, due to favorable geographic conditions, a few days ago I met the legendary strata! Unbelievable. It was really cool and we had a chat, ate some food. Then we drove a small distance with HGich.T - Goa Goa MPU on. It was great, I enjoyed it a lot.
2019-08-27 I was in a car on the motorway(in the passenger seat), and I saw an ambulance coming on a parallel road. I look where it is going, and then I see someone performing CPR on the emergency lane. It shocked me, and I felt lots of emotions. Now I am calm again.
2019-08-24 Back from vacation. It was great, I did a lot for my being. Went to a party. Had a talk with a nice girl. It was great.
2019-08-19 Celebrating 100000 views! ♥☻🍾 Thank you. As usual I have prepared nothing. I'll be on a short vacation. I am so unprepared. Have a great day!
2019-08-07 🔥🔥🔥. 2 days later. Also braunkohle
2019-08-04 I saw a wasp and a fly fighting each other on the stone pavement. They're both moving their wings. At some point the fly stops and becomes inert. The wasp seems to bite the fly or something, no idea. And the wasp flew away, carrying the fly. I am astonished.
2019-07-27 3 year anniversary ♥☻🍾 I haven't prepared anything.
2019-07-19 Now the cat is gone, mice are abundant in the garden. I see them daily. Also I see them often in the wild when I pay attention. Such a weird idea that I only saw a wild mouse for the first time only a year ago and now I see them daily.
2019-06-21 Today we received 3 chickens and a cock. The cycle repeats.🐔
2019-06-06 Two days ago there were thunderstorms at night announced with a weather alarm code orange(be prepared). So I had expectations of a major thunderstorm. But the thunderstorm wasn't that bad, I was underwhelmed haha. Halfway I tried to take a picture of lightning. Not an amazing picture but I was surprised I got at least something on camera. The next day I was sleeping in bed and I got surprised by a thunderstorm, a heavier one. I just found out there was a weather alarm for that as well but I didn't notice haha. 😌 also updated my OS but the mouse sensitivity settings stopped working, resulting in my mouse being way too sensitive. so I went into windows and fired up my mouse configuration software and changed the DPI for my mouse hahahaha have a great day
2019-05-29 Current mood
2019-05-24 It is a little lonely without the animals. But the lack of a cat has one upside: a mouse often appears near our backdoor. It does not seem so afraid of humans. I like it when the sun sets, the birds retreat, and the bats come out. Always a calming moment.
2019-05-15 The cock died. No more chikens, no more cock. Sigh.
2019-04-01 When I went cycling, a fire truck with its sirens on went by. It was eardeafening, but cool. And I saw a mouse again! Why am I worrying about all these little things?
2019-03-23 Haven't updated my journal in a while. I think I'm going to do it more again. Some updates: the dude from 2017-12-15 came back last year. And 2 weeks ago we said goodbye again. He's going to live in a van and travel the world, or something cool! Had driving practice at 2019-02-11, but it's still too much for now. Learned some financials the past year or so. No idea why I suddenly developed this interest, it was so boring to me. In a broad sense I feel like I've made progress, but also not. I want to socialize a bit more and do some stuff, these are my goals. Have a great day everyone! ♥☻
2019-02-10 I'm sad to announce my cat died. More information here.
2018-08-13 I missed my own site's second anniversary!
2018-07-21 So only a few weeks ago I saw a mouse in the wild for the first time. Well, today I sat in a beach chair in the back garden, and I saw something moving in the corner of my eye, I look and and I see a mouse walking on the pavement. It walks right next to me, a meter or so away. It's moves quick. It didn't seem to notice me. I got a good look before it dissapeared in the bushes. It had a small tail and a pointy nose. Shortly after, I walk to the front garden and I see another one! But this time for just a second, it dissapeared swiftly. Wow. Is this a coincidence or have I not been paying attention previously in my life?
2018-06-29 Spontaneously went to the pool to swim today. It was great. I haven't swum in a while. It made me think of the time I went swimming at 2016-08-01. Appreciate you. 😊
2018-05-18 I had the feeling I did absolutely nothing today. It makes me feel bad for some reason. I cycled and it went away. Also I get comments on my website but sometimes I don't know what to reply. Thank you for your comments everyone. ☻ asdfjlask;df
2018-05-17 Today I was pruning a hedge, using a surprisingly sturdy but heavy wooden ladder. I was just scissoring when suddenly a swarm of small birds flies out of the hedge barely hitting my face. One of them landed and just sat down. I don't think these are grown enough to be on their own and I think I accidentally scared them away from their nest. 😢
2018-05-02 Today I saw some sort of mouse in the wild for the first time! I also saw two jackdaws washing themselves in a puddle. Wow.
2018-04-21 The last chiken died yesterday. It seemed it stretched its legs, closed its eyes, and fell onto its side. Now there's only a lonely cock left. Sigh.
2018-04-11 Today while cycling I saw a man and a woman together in a car near a cafetaria eating a frikandel speciaal with fries. If that's not love, I don't know what is!
2018-03-28 Yesterday evening I played Viscera Cleanup Detail: Santa's Rampage with a friend. In this game you need to cleanup the mess santa made during his mental breakdown. I did not expect it to be this much fun! but today I felt really exhausted again. Unfortunately, driving practice is also too much at the moment. Just like installing my new SSD. The doctor says it's going to be like this for a while... ;_; I have a hard time accepting all this. Tomorrow I am going to get something I feel embarrased about. It's like I am disabled, and I can't accept it. But I think if I accept myself for what I am then all will be much better because I'm not resisting anymore(I don't know how to explain this). But it's going slowly going to get better if I rest. Everything feels so weird. If you're feeling bad while reading this; remember this is my feeling and not yours. You don't have to feel bad because of this. Have a wonderful day!
2018-03-16 Yesterday I had driving practice for the first time in a while. Finally back to my favorite teacher! it went more than well considering the significant time I haven't driven! I was tired afterwards. Sometimes I don't want to be tired, then I just do stuff and get more tired instead. I don't know why I do it. Anyways... it was really fun! 😄
2018-01-31 I was hungry, so I grab a carrot. I washed the carrot, but when I wanted to eat it it slipped out of my hand and ended up in the most dirty corner of the room. I decide to give it to the chickens, so I throw it towards their territory, but due to my poor motor coordination it ended up on the roof of my neighbors' shed - next to the chickens' territory. I grab a ladder and a weird grabby stick, I climb up the ladder I try to get the carrot through the trees, I almost reach it - and then the phone rang. Sigh. In the end I got the carrot and gave it to the chickens and grabbed another carrot to eat.
2018-01-23 Things are going bad. The past time and how I treated myself are starting to show their consequences. I leveled up on being washed out. How did I get here? Typing this makes me feel better, oddly enough. On the bright side, two great things happened yesterday: I haven't had driving practice since the stressful driving test, and this time was amazing! I was so relaxed, it was so fun. And, I rubbed my cat's belly and my cat didn't bite me and seemed to like it, just like I did! Oh, and remember the blood sample? Well, they misinterpeted the form, and a substance needed to be measured wasn't measured. So I got a new one on the end of 2017. They misinterpreted it again; nothing was tested an my blood sample was destroyed. 🤨
2018-01-09 Beep is gone! 😌 feeling a lot better. Time for some good vibes to get in a good mood. Oh and a thought: you can get a pack of decent DVD-RWs for about the same price as a DVD/CD optical media drive!
2018-01-08 Once again washed out. I have a headache and I feel sick. On top of that, when I was laying down a beep occured in my left ear. It hasn't gone away yet. This freaks me out. I took a shower and I feel a bit better. I think I'm going to sleep now.
2018-01-01 Hope you all have a great year. Spent new year's eve in bed. I was exhausted. It felt soothing hearing all those fireworks going off at 00:00. I shortly fell asleep after that.
2017-12-17 I have this list of bookmarks, I call it "dead people on steam". It's a list of steam profiles of people who are dead. I don't know why I have it. Never had I thought I'd add my friend on there. I can't believe he's dead. Just a few weeks ago, I ran to him, showed him my PCB I designed and had manufactured in China, and he loved it. I didn't know it wasn't going well with him. I'll miss you. I love you. Goodbye. (For clarification, this is not the person from 2017-12-15, that just happens to be a coincidence. That person is leaving his job to go to another one he loves. This clarification doesn't fit here. Should I be journaling this?)
2017-12-15 Said goodbye to someone today. It touched me more than I thought. He told me to keep doing awesome stuff, and not to worry or doubt things so much. i cri ;-; also gave a hug, but I akwardly touched the person's side and it makes me feel painful inside.
2017-12-14 Got a blood sample today... oh boy, I remember again how nervous it makes me feel! I think it's from my troublesome youth where I had a lot of blood samples of which I may have bad memories... I don't know if I should journal this...
2017-12-10 Built a half-baked snowman today! Also ironically got a christmas tree and the roads were slippery and we skidded out a few times but it was fun! This is so cliché and it's still so early but idk we want these green trees and they're super not-wanted for some reason and you got to take your chance when you see them.
2017-12-08 I did it. Passed the test, delivered the project. Now I am washed out. Also my brother is installing a new router, because the old one doesn't cut it anymore for his edge-case internetting. But because ISPs suck, it's really complicated. There's an expensive but supercool switch between the old and the new router, the old router gets telephony + iptv, the new one internet. But there are a lot of weird problems, and no IPv6 yet. TV doesn't work anymore. It needs to be fixed. Quite frankly, I want to go back. I want to go back. I wish it was easy and you just hook it up. But no. Why is this so complex? 😞
2017-12-03 Today I recovered a boeing 747-400 from a stall in flight simulator X. Tomorrow driving test(to see if I could be able to physically control a vehicle, not for a license yet)!
2017-11-20 Intense driving practice today. Also last night I woke up and did something weird and ended up biting my tongue really hard. Now my right side of my head hurts, even my ears! still tired
2017-11-10 Still exhausted 😩 I don't know how to cope with this. Sometimes it gets worse when I think and think and think about stuff. Oh and people are putting a new roof on this house so this morning I showered while right above me there are loud noises.
2017-11-07 I'm exhausted. I'm feeling like I'm ripe for the hospice. I stood up this morning, had breakfast, slept the rest of the morning. This is quite a surprise.
2017-11-03 Driving practice went OK, nice instructor this time. I've noticed that I haven't driven in high traffic volumes. My instructor got sick, he won't be able to teach me in a while, that kind of sucks. Hopefully he will get better soon! I don't know, there is this girl I have this thing for, but I'm not sure and things are weird :( I showed her this website once but I'm sure she doesn't read this, lmao! Wait does that mean something
2017-11-02 I went cycling today. I approached a woman with teal-dyed hair, wearing a black coat and jeans. Just when I passed her she said something like "help... me" in a weird way. I continued to cycle. I went back after a while because well maybe I was sure about what I heard and maybe I could help. When I finally saw her, she entered the doctors office, so I hope they help her. Anyways I have a hardware/software project I'm working on. today I planned the delivery date, towards the final stretch. Really made progress the past few weeks. Looking forward to the delivery; but all this time I felt I came short, while everyone else says I'm doing amazing. Only now I noticed this. Well, good vibes anyways!
2017-09-24 Forgot to report yesterday's driving practice: Apparently, I forgot my cone-shaped party hats. I think they fell out of my bag(I didn't close it). A different driving instructor found the hats, and asked my driving instructor what was going on. He explained; then she demanded a picture of both of us with the hats on. So we did that that lesson 😁 Other than that, it went well: speed went better, but I made more small mistakes. I'm getting there!
2017-09-22 Today was exactly one year since my first driving lesson. This is my 46th. I brought party hats, party blowers, lots of candy. I showed it to my driving instructor and then I realized that this wasn't going to work. You can't wear a hat in the car, it would bump into the ceiling. Using a party blower would only make a lot of noise. And you can't eat while you drive. I feel emberassed. I'm crippling form the inside. I want to make myself small. He laughs out loud. Well I'm glad it made him laugh. When done driving the driving nothing is opened. But it was a very fun lesson, still need to drive a bit slower!
2017-09-20 Yesterday, at the final day of the cardiopulmonary resuscitation course, I forgot my money again so I couldn't buy a drink. Then a dude gave me money so I could buy a drink. I bought tea. I thank him so much. 😄 A few years ago this would leave me feeling overwhelmed; how could someone do something so nice for me? Now it kind of feels really nice, but not like that.
2017-09-08 Also made a lot of progress on electronics and stuff yay :D
2017-09-08 Yesterday's driving lesson made me feel upset. There was a different instructor, and she wasn't bad or anything... it just didn't work really. I am so sensitive :c
2017-09-05 Forgot to report last driving lesson: Every mistake I made the previous lesson were corrected in the current one! I did it a little slower and smoother and it went much, much better! Also prevented a complicated merge situation; the previous time I did not and had to do a complicated merge, but that went well. Also, the psychiatrist said I may drive!
2017-08-25 Driving getting better. Need to look around me more & more forward though, and watch my speed on any kind of intersection. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast!
2017-08-01 Just finished Alien: Isolation. Loved the game!~ such great atmosphere.
2017-07-27 One year anniversary! ♥☻🍾
2017-07-27 Launching Discjoppie
2017-07-08 Also, giffer. I'm feeling bad lately. And thank you shelfdust for bestest subscripber award! I don't know what to say!
2017-07-08 Today I found a young swallow on the road. It couldn't fly, but it tried. I tried to help. I brought the bird home. I called the animal ambulance. They said they couldn't do anything and I should bring it back and put it in the grass. I tried. Goodbye bird, hope you survive! ;_;
2017-06-22 Driving practice went great! And it's hot in here. That's all.
2017-05-24 I DID IT AGAIN AAAH! I was approaching a roundabout and I was going fast and there was a car coming fast from the left andddd didn't brake again. Thankfully, the woman in the car I almost hit laughed her ass off 😁. Low concentration near the end of the lesson. I hope I can fix this stuff! Anyways the rest of the driving practice went pretty great! Also there was a firetruck with sirens on behind me, that made me nervous; but it also made me concentrate intensly. This makes me so insecure 😧 I really hope I can learn how to drive safely. Greetings! ✌️♿
2017-05-18 Driving practice went great today. I was very relaxed.
2017-05-05 Freedom ♥☻🍾
2017-05-04 I was taking a walk in the night to stretch my legs. I saw a cat sitting on the road. A car was approaching. The cat didn't move. The car was coming closer and closer and I stopped walking. The car continued to drive norminally. The cat moved just in time.
2017-04-30 😢
2017-04-25 I saw a car driving over the pedestrian crossing - as if it were a pedestrian xD also I got to choose where I wanted to go this driving session. Not a particular place, just where I wanted to drive. This seems easy but I found it pretty hard. But! Progress... I guess? ☻
2017-04-19 Today I was going with someone else to a friend near Antwerp with a car. We were driving on the motorway in Belgium, when I suddenly hear noise and screeching tires. I looked in the mirror(I was in the passenger seat) and I saw a car going to the emergency lane, and another car bumping into the guard rail. I wanted to call the emergency number, but I didn't know where we were driving and I didn't know what to do. I aborted the call. :( I'm going to try to learn from this.
2017-04-13 Today at driving practice: I approach a crossing/junction/intersection, and I want to go to the right. But I didn't know there was a car coming from the right. I see it too late and I jump on the brakes - except I forgot to move my foot so instead I pressed the gas pedal and accelerate towards the car. Thankfully, my instructor has a brake, so he prevented a collision. I hope this will never, ever happen again. I'm going to pay more attention. On the funny side of the story: The car was not just a car: it was a instruction vehicle, and there was someone in it who was doing a driving exam. Also I just watched "Find This Dumb Little Bitch and Throw Her Into a River (2017)", I enjoyed it.
2017-03-26 I wonder if there are adults that sleep with their plushies
2017-03-23 Driving practice was fun! We tanked! Also left the keys in the contact when paying lol xD one stupid dangerous thing I did on the freeway, but I'm learning here. When I was done and out of the car, a dude on a bicycle who spoke english asked for the road to somewhere far away. He was clearly foreign. He was really nice. We also talked about how much a driver license costs. Such a nice dude. :) then I got sad and then I bicycled and then I felt better.
2017-03-21 Currently in the mood for a pizza
2017-03-13 I just discovered how to change shutter speed of my DSLR! I love this! Also, there is now a dream journal!
2017-03-09 Drove on the motorway again, but this time a long time! I keep forgetting to turn off the turn signal though, and I'm driving too slow, but I'm getting there, and this was a lot better than the first time I did this! Next time, I'm going to drive as fast as allowed(when safely possible), and I'm going to pass everyone who is driving slower!
2017-03-07 Today I was just doing stuff together with people and then someone told me someone brought reptiles so we went to the reptiles and there were reptiles but there were also snake and I hold a snake and I let the snake crawl around me and I was surprised I really liked it. After a while it was time for lunch. The lady who brought the snake told me not to lose the snake. I did not expect this; a lunch with the snake around my neck. Then the snake crawled into my shirt: I tried to get it out of my shirt before it got so far in that you can no longer get it out with ease. But that didn't work out too well and I accepted my fate. At least I didn't lose the snake. After the lunch the lady helped me to get the snake out. Goodbye snake. 😄
2017-03-02 Oh maiii I LOVE driving! Can you imagine it, me driving around at parking lot with a big smile on my face?
2017-02-25 Went to some friends far away today. I really liked it. Somehow it feels already so long ago. What do I want with this journal anyways? Also, drove through a piece of Germany today. Such german. wow.
2017-02-22 My emotions are consuming me lately. It's almost crippling. 😖 I'm having a hard time talking about them. Today, I didn't even feel appetite for pizza. After a while, I managed to eat one quarter. 😅 I think I should talk about it. Or maybe I'll write something dedicated to it, like strata does.
2017-02-17 Excited to eat tasty food in a few minutes. Also feeling a little off today.
2017-02-16 Finally drove again after 3 weeks. Slowly getting better!
2017-02-10 Life feels hard.
2017-02-10 I'm still sick. I cannot think properly. But I'm not sick enough to lie down in bed continuously.
2017-02-01 The exhaustion turned out to be just a preview of what was coming next: projectile vomiting. I spent the whole night doing it. I haven't felt this bad in a long while. The next day, I slept the whole daytime. Glad the vomiting is over now - time to take some rest and recover from the rest.
2017-01-31 I am exhausted.
2017-01-14 Maybe even a memory journal? With vague memories? Yesterday night I was eating bread with a piece of baloney on it, and then there was some left and I decided to eat it. I rolled it up and I tasted it. And then suddenly something hit me - a memory as a kid of someone at the supermarket offering me the same baloney. I accepted the offer and ate it - and loved it.
2017-01-14 Last night I had a dream. I don't remember the details anymore - but I was with an unknown person, we ended up in a room with a fat, a little ugly, middle-aged women who had clearly mental issues. She had cooked food, and we needed to eat it.(this is the part where I do not know what the unknown person does) So I ate the food. All the food was very liquid-y, with lots of grease and stuff and it wasn't too healthy. I ate with my hands. Everytime I finished the food, I got something else, and everytime she got more weird and "unstable". She seemed sad about something, perhaps she had lost something, I don't know. But I my stomach was getting more filled and filled and the last thing I got, a piece of white with a tint of brown flesh, I cut a piece of it and I ate it and I said I had enough food - or something like that. And then she did the most loud scream in front of my face and then I woke up because of the scare. My heart was pounding. Also I know that I had experienced more beforehand, but I cannot remember it anymore. This feels weird. There are experiences I have in my sleep which happen but get lost, creating gaps in time. Experiences that happen whom you have no clue of that they happened. Weird thought. Also should I do a seperate dream journal? Would that be cool? whoa my head made this up. Dreams are so weird. Also they happen to me and I cannot control what I do. So weird. asdf
2017-01-12 Why is this? I updated my page of my extension to indicate that it's obsolete and people started to install it?! Also, I feel bad for some reason.
2017-01-07 I turned on the TV, and the first thing I heard someone say was this: "I'm black and you are white, but we all have red blood"(in Surinaams Nederlands)
2016-12-31 My cat is very afraid of the fireworks. I tried to calm the cat. It didn't work.
2016-12-21 Today I was visiting a friend who recently got a baby and then we got into the car because she needed to go somewhere, she got out and I was alone with the baby and then I realized "oh crap I'm alone with the baby" and that made me really feel insecure, it went pretty ok but then he started crying and I was like "what do I do this isn't fun help pls halp" oh and my mom was there too. Luckily she came back soon. This made me feel more insecure then when I'm painting.
2016-12-17 Currently writing this on a CRT monitor, a COMPAQ PRESARIO V510. I just finished playing CS:GO on it. It was very fun. I love the colors and the customizability. THE COLOORRS
2016-12-15 Today at driving practice, I got to drive on the motorway! Or DAS AUTOBAHN, or whatever it is called in your language! It was very fun and also super fassst!
2016-12-05 The dentist fixed two of the four holes in my teeth. It was somehow very relaxing.
2016-12-03 Uploaded tha arts
2016-11-24 AWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS someone who is not me installed my extension! FEELSGOOOD 🍾 and also driving went better this time
2016-11-17 Almost hit a car today while practicing driving. I parked a car succesfully though!
2016-11-11 Awww yisss Neocities will migrate to HTTPS! 😀 This makes my chrome extension obsolete - which is a good thing - but I am still the only one using it 😞
2016-11-10 I am worried about climate change
2016-11-09 This is what stress must feel like. I am getting destroyed.
2016-11-09 I have got 4 holes in my teeth. 😢
2016-11-08 I haven't felt this negative in a looooong while. Then I decided to relax. This was the best.
2016-11-03 Driving practice went better today! This time I didn't nearly hit anyone, I took my time to see what's going on on the road and act accordingly!
2016-10-27 I realise I have a long way to go with learning how to drive.
2016-10-21 OH BOYYY Scream Fortress VIII!!!
2016-10-21 The homepage now requires more bandwidth. :/ Oh and I made some scrollbarrrssss a few days ago. yeyyyyy
2016-10-15 The extension now has two users. Both users are me.
2016-10-13 Had driving practice today, and I asked if I could try and brake as hard as I could. It was very fun! I love driving!
2016-10-08 I wrote another hack
2016-10-05 1200 views. It still hasn't sunk in yet that actual people have visited my site.
2016-10-04 Everyone on the internet seems so outraged lately. But not on neocities, this is the place where I feel calm. Something I enjoy.
2016-09-27 1000 views ♥☻🍾
2016-09-26 WHY DO I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY PRESSING CTRL+S WHEN I'M NOT FINISHED YET
2016-09-25 I still like pizza.
2016-09-24 Guessed phone's PIN based on birthdate of person in background picture. Success. Removed a weird security appthinggy so I could find a contact. Found one. Phone got picked up. What a different adventure.
2016-09-24 Went cycling. Lost my hat. Found someones phone. Found my hat. I love my hat. What an adventure.
2016-09-23 A lot of friends got invited to a party of someone who I like, but I didn't. I've never felt these emotions before. 😥
2016-09-22 Had my first driving lesson. It had a lot of fun.
2016-09-10 I... I have no idea...
2016-08-01 Also today I was alone in my room bored and tired. I felt like I needed some exercise, so I went cycling. I went past the swimming pool, and then I thought: Why not? I went home quickly, and then went to the pool and swam. It was very nice, though it didn't last long because I got bored quickly. It reminds me that I like my friends. I felt happy. Taking some exercise and going outside made all the difference.
2016-08-01 Yesterday night I saw a "falling star"(a meteor) for the first time. I couldn't sleep, so I got up, got some water and stared towards the stars through the window. And then I saw it. It was bright and swift. It was amazing.
2016-07-30 cat
2016-07-29 The site is actually not created at 2016-07-28. It's created at 2016-07-27.
2016-07-29 At first I was too shy to create a neocities website. I am not really sure why. ♥☻ I still like pizza. Maybe I will post some pictures...?
2016-07-28 Created my site

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