Some small remarks as I play through the game! :)
- I think you are being a bit harsh with yourself about the graphics, I like the style. Then again, I am not a graphic artist either. X)
- Wow, Bacon is a bit crude ("f*ck" and so on) (sorry for the egregious involuntary pun! XD)! (How surprising is it that a vegetarian would criticise Bacon rather than Grapes?) I think the writing in Detective Horse managed to be super funny while staying polite, which is closer to my taste. It may depend on the personality of the character, after all, but some ‘visual bipping’ (eg "f*ck") could still work. ;)
- ‘Ceci n’est pas un T-800.’ -> Do you speak French by any chance? I am French. :) (But dislike ‘contemporary art’. XD)
- The Terminator-Titanic scene is one of those references I like. X) By the way, the story reminds me a bit of the French comic book Une peau de banane dans le temps (from Time Is Money), where the protagonists go back in time to meet Mona Lisa and fiddle with the famous painting.
- Music may be a bit loud sometimes? Some option to adjust it would be nice. (I understand this was certainly not a priority in the course of the game jam. X) Haha, right after writing this, stumbling upon meta-humour related to the deadline! XD I really love your sense of humour.)
- ‘Pomme’: French yet again!
- And French lines! XD By a stroke of luck, I can help you a lot with these.
* ‘quelle belle raisin’ -> rather ‘quel beau raisin’ since raisin is masculine, although I guess you could argue that the gender agrees to Lily Grapes’s sex as female through syllepsis.
* ‘Mon Dieux!’ -> ‘Mon Dieu !’, since this is singular. Also, note than in France’s French typography, there is a space before double-component punctuation marks (this is not true for all varieties of French, especially in Quebec French).
* ‘Ceci n’est pas une raisin.’ -> same as first remark: probably ‘un raisin’, or even ‘du raisin’ considering it as partitive. - That ‘earth apple’ pun is nice (pomme de terre), but I am wondering how much of the non-native-French-speaking audience can get it, since I am biased in knowledge. ;)
Takeaway: I think you really have a talent for humourous stories. As a matter of interest, I have very recently taken a look at some ‘interactive fiction’ game jams (such as the — French! — ‘Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone’, ‘SeedComp!’, or French ‘Partim 500’); I see yours is an entry to Narrative Driven Jam, so you could definitely specialize in narration (if you wish so, which I do not know!), or team up with other people for various game jams or projects and help with the narrative/story side in particular.
It was a pleasant (little) moment, thank you for it. :)