i hope whoever actually shot that CEO is having a good day.

Here is your mission.

TSLA hit its all time high of $488.50 on 15 DEC 2024. To reach of a price of $114.00 would be a 76.7% drop. That's huge, right?

Yeah well, when I checked the price just now (12 MAR 2025 @ 1:31 PM EDT), TSLA is currently trading at $250.85. That's down 48.6% from the high.

Babes, we're already nearly two-thirds of the way there.

TSLA $114.00. I believe this is where I say 'like to charge, reblog to cast.'

A tag mentioned 'where the reddit stockbros at' and ... well anyways, for those asking how to help without directly trading:

- Loudly and frequently remind everyone how he didn't found Tesla, he bought the right to call himself the founder, and then ruined a great thing.

- Loudly and frequently discuss how absolutely shit quality Teslas are, using as many specific examples as possible. One of my faves was an old TT where an auto assembly worker went over as many details of a Tesla as they could, pointing out aaaaall the shoddy craftsmanship and cut corners, badly installed gaskets, etc.

- Loudly and frequently discuss Tesla deaths. Especially things like how Mitch McConnell's wife lowered vehicle safety standards and then her sister got drunk and reversed her deathtrap into a pond.

- Bonus points if you can put these comments in relevant places, like say, Yahoo Finance, relevant tags on ANY social media, and under finance/market news and blogs.

- Same goes for SpaceX and Starlink, anything and everything negative you can say about them especially backed up by facts, statistics, or other reports

- Consumer/market sentiment is closely monitored by the industry, regardless of how they spin it in media. No one on the internet actually knows whether or not you own any of these products.

- If you're feeling really edgy, go to whatever subreddits/Yahoo comments section/wherever relevant and pretend to be a Tesla/etc shareholder who gave up and sold. Don't tell others to sell, that shit usually gets shut down pretty quick, but just be 'disgruntled' and 'disappointed' or even scared. "idk guys I'm really worried, this isn't getting better, I just really think it's over, I'm selling"

- If you or anyone you know has any kind of 401(k) or other externally-managed retirement portfolio, mention to them you really hope they don't have any Tesla/etc in there, maybe they should double check/call their broker/whatever

- pressure your banks/universities/etc to divest any Elon-related tickers, stressing things like "volatility," "market sentiment," "bad optics," and "risk"

- never go the Gleeful Troll route, it just gets ignored. If you want to convince people, play the Concerned Consumer/Shareholder angle

- Report Elon Musk's market manipulation to the SEC. They won't really do anything, maybe a slap on the wrist at most, a paltry fine of 0.001% of profits or something, but it's fun and it's free.

The stock market is paper-fucking-thin and fearful sentiment is contagious. It can absolutely be used to an advantage.

IF YOU HAVE NEVER TOUCHED THE MARKET BEFORE, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ATTEMPT TO START NOW. DO NOT GAMBLE ON TESLA PUTS NO MATTER HOW SURE YOU ARE THAT IT WILL CONTINUE TO GO DOWN NOR HOW MUCH ANY STOCKBROS TELL YOU IT'S SAFE. ANY DEATH-THROES OR SPIKES COULD CAUSE EXPONENTIAL DEBT.

Anyways, a small note: margin calls are not nearly as cut-and-dried as implied. Organizations with millions or billions of worth and assets can easily juggle things to rebalance their risk, a margin call does not automatically force liquidation unless that risk cannot be balanced.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED

YOU KNOW THE HAIKU BOT???

OFC YOU DO

YOU KNOW THAT MESSAGE HE PUTS AT THE END OF EVERY POST????

"Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up."

YEAH???????

WELL THATS A HAIKU TOO

Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.

NOW YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THATS NOT THE CUTEST THNIG YOUVE EVER HEARD

“Beep boop! I look for

accidental haiku posts.

Sometimes I mess up.”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

It’s full circle now. He did it, by god he did. What a little champ.

It’s full circle now.

He did it, by god he did.

What a little champ.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

bf has announced it's 'kiss a dork day' and keeps kissing me in celebration but when i try to kiss HIM he holds me back and says 'no sorry I'M not a dork' and because he's bigger and stronger than me i am gaining no ground in this battle. i'm fuming

TERRIBLE NEWS woke up this morning and bf has announced it's kiss a dork day today again and showed me that he made it a reoccuring annual event on his calendar. march 13th is now my enemy

Happy March 13th to all those who celebrate

I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them.

Okayokayokayokaybut "My hand will wear out but the inscription will remain" is kind of a power line BEFORE you factor in that it is, in fact, over a thousand years old.

It’s always good to spend a few moments, on a quiet day, looking through the Family album.

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

and then after that is THE SKELETON WAR

"A man is not dead while his name is still spoken."

GNU Terry Pratchett

28 April 1948 - 12 March 2015

LIKE TO CHARGE REBLOG TO CAST LET'S GET THIS FUCKER EXPLODEDED

I was tasked with a job

THIS IS A MIMIC PRETENDING TO BE A TUMBLR POST

I'D RECOGNIZE THE TOP 5 ROWS OF PIXELS OF THE IFUNNY.CO WATERMARK ANYWHERE.

if you're going to do it, do it right.

Better?

Seen someone say “I can’t die, I got graves to dance on that hasn’t been dug yet.” And honestly, that goes hard. We need to keep that energy.

I hear you

ink: ferris wheel press, "Sugar and Spite"

Ordering that meal today:

and here's the us inflation calculator to compare it to as well

i swear to god if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police

I am obligated to reblog this again, because it is now Superwholock, and therefore perfection.

people need to remember that every tumblr post in 2012 was like this

i think elon musk has had a really, really bad week. thoughts and prayers next week is even worse <333

Everyone reblog this. Mandatory.

Let me try this

So let the wheel decide your Japanese first-person pronoun

Note: descriptions may be inaccurate.

can i interest u in a box of friend??

it’s him…… the Grey Earl…………..

A most honored guest at the royal ball!

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

The sandwich i had for lunch didnt moan and scream and squirm against my body and then become limp and pliable when i was done now did it

(Via @morganpdf )