Chapter Text
“Zuko!”
The lightning somehow simultaneously burnt white hot and didn’t hurt at all, simply felt like a low tingle in every bit of his body and yet every part of him burnt and hurt and screamed for him to get up, to keep moving, to finish the fight, to protect Katara, to help his sister to finish the plan to do anything but lay on the ground-
He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t do anything but lie there and hurt. And dear Agni, did he hurt. Zuko was no stranger to pain. He had grown with suffering as his closest mentor, and had never once batted an eye at the pain inflicted upon him when he failed. Before being struck with lightning he had thought that the pain from burning off an entire half of his face would be the worst pain he would have to suffer in his life, and yet the pain of the lightning seemed to affect every part of his body, all at once. At least with his face it was just that, it was his face and everything was okay after everything healed, he had healed from that.
This wasn’t the type of injury someone could just heal from. Not without some sort of blessing from the spirits, a blessing from Agni themself. And knowing Zuko’s luck, Agni had no interest in blessing the boy any more than they had when he had first gotten banished.
He could vaguely hear someone shouting behind him. And in front of him. And around him. He couldn’t tell what anyone was saying, and his vision was growing dimmer by the second. He could barely remember what had happened, why he had been hit by the lightning. Why had he been fighting in the first place? Who was he fighting? He could feel someone touching him, but that barely registered over the electric, buzzing pain from every corner of his body.
Zuko felt as though every bit of himself was getting farther and farther from reality, everything felt like a dream and he was drifting away. Drifting towards reality, so he could wake up. Wasn’t he already in reality? He couldn’t tell. Everything was just so far away, and it was much too hard to remember anything.
His limbs felt heavy, his body felt like it was getting dragged down towards the ground. Everything was just so heavy, and his brain felt like he was floating away. He could barely register anything happening.
Everything stopped. All the pain flushed from his body, his limbs were no longer bearing down on him, wearing him down. He could feel the ground beneath his back, and he could hear the soft sound of wind rushing past his ears. The hurt of the lightning reduced to a light headache. His brain was no longer floating around, he was grounded again. He felt like he was back in his body.
Except for the fact that he wasn’t. He could tell he was grounded, he felt every bit of his body, and when he looked down at himself he could see it all, but it wasn’t there. Everything was too light, too soft. It wasn’t real and he knew it wasn’t because there was never a point in life where the world had been so kind to him. And there never would be.
He wasn’t in the courtyard anymore. There was no palace around him. Nothing hurt. More than that though, and much more worryingly there was no Azula. Or Katara. Or anyone at all. He was all alone. In the middle of a very foggy forest.
Oh Agni, he died. He died in the middle of a fight that was so incredibly important to their plan and now he’d officially messed up the plans to overthrow his- a corrupt leader trying to commit world domination. If Aang failed because Zuko couldn’t beat his own little sister, there was no way he’d ever forgive himself. No way any of his friends would forgive him either. No way they’d stay his friends.
Zuko sat upright. His muscles ached, but it was nowhere near as bad as it had been even before the fight. Just a dull throb, easy to put to the back of his mind while he tried to focus on more pressing matters, like the fact that he was dead. He was dead and had messed up. Really bad. Like, seriously bad. He tried to bring all the things that he had learnt about the spirit world to the front of mind. It had never exactly been something he was all that interested in. He was pretty sure that there were supposed to be more spirits though. Not just... himself. And the forest.
He pushed himself to his feet, holding his hand near his chest for fear that the burning pain that had just inhabited the entirety of his body would come back, crashing down on his body again. He wondered if he would get a scar from that in the spirit world, or if since his mortal body never got the chance to heal and develop that scar, his soul wouldn’t have it either. He wasn’t too interested in checking right now.
The ground was soft. It didn’t feel like dirt and grass, how the forest floor felt in the mortal plane, how the forest floor should feel, but it didn’t feel floaty and disconnected, like how dreams feel. If this really was the spirit realm, Zuko would have to get used to all this dreamy-ness. Actually, if this was really the spirit realm, he would be stuck here forever. In this little patch of forest. Surrounded by spirit fog. And spirit trees. And no other spirits.
He walked towards the fog. Then stopped. Then reached out and touched it. It was wet and firmer than fog should be, but not firm enough to stop his hand from moving through. He wasn’t quite sure he wanted to walk through that yet. Not until he was sure he had no other choices. He could hear birds calling from beyond the barriers of his vision.
The temperature was nice. It was warmer than Zuko was used to, but felt more akin to the average temperatures of his childhood than the temperature of the air on the open sea.
Fog wasn’t supposed to be warm as far as Zuko knew, but it was a welcome change. Actually, as far as Zuko knew the fog should have at least dissipated a little from him touching it, but it stayed firmly blocking his vision. The area in the center of the fog wasn’t too wide, about as big as his room on the ship had been, and the temperature of the fog seeped into the clearing, making everything warm and soft and-
Perfect. Spirit like. It makes sense that everything was so comfortable, it was where he would have to spend eternity and then some. Obviously Agni would try and make it comfortable, even for those that they didn’t seem to like much. And they did not seem to like Zuko much.
There was no way that he was just stuck in this little clearing for the rest of forever. It was barely big enough to practice any katas, and Zuko wasn’t exactly a fan of staying in the smallest spaces available, even if the spaces in question were nice and warm and arguably perfect in most regards. He could technically just go through the fog, but Agni knows what’s on the other side of that.
And if the other side was cold and dark and possibly smaller than the clearing, that would be a major downgrade to eternity. Zuko wasn’t quite sure he was willing to take that chance.
He walked to the other side of the small circle and checked the fog there. Just as weirdly heavy, just as comfortably warm. The ground looked just as inviting as the fog, but his legs were starting to weigh him down in the way they had second before he had passed. And wasn’t that a weird thought.
Zuko sat down in the middle of the circle and looked up. The sun itself wasn’t visible, but the sky was bright and blue. The fog didn’t seem to be accompanied by many clouds, as the sky itself seemed rather barren. He wondered if Agni was actually out there, or if it was just an illusion to keep him calm and healthy. As healthy as a spirit could be, at least.
Maybe Agni was just through the fog, and that's why it was so warm. That would be nice, being so close to the spirit that he had worshiped all his life would be a nice trade off for dying.
Maybe he should go through the fog then, if Agni was on the other side. Then again, wouldn’t it hurt to be so close to something so bright? And maybe a bit dangerous too. But it could also be great. Zuko laid on his back. Thinking was tiring. So was dying. Maybe he’d just rest his eyes.
Just a little.
Zuko woke slowly. The grass was soft on his back, and the temperature was still warm. So he hadn’t just imagined dying. He was still dead. Spirits can sleep?
He’d have to test all his new spirit capabilities. Maybe after he figured out how to get to the greater spirit plane. Out of his circle. He didn’t want to open his eyes, it was too bright to look straight into the sky.
He sat before opening his eyes, feeling his way across the soft forest floor.
Toph would be much better at this. He wouldn’t see Toph for many, many years. The thought crossed his mind before he could stop it. He wouldn’t see any of his friends for many years. If ever again. Maybe eventually they’d be through the fog.
And maybe they wouldn’t be. So soon after finally making friends, his own friends, not other rich kids trying to boost their status further, not Azula’s friends he was going to be around either way, he was back to where he started.
Alone.
Zuko brought his hand to his head, shielding the top of his eyes as he slowly blinked them open. Same fog. Same trees. Still cramped. New person.
New person?
The figure was standing just on the cusp between the fog and the clearing, barely visible with the bright backdrop surrounding it. He couldn’t make out any distinct features other than ‘bright’. Painfully, extremely bright. The figure itself appeared to be composed of only the brightest colors, surrounded by fog that only amplified the strain on Zuko’s eyes.
Zuko scooted backwards as fast as he could, quickly forgetting the spatial constraints of the clearing and slamming his back into a tree. Within the second that it took for Zuko to wince the figure had taken three steps towards him, not bending down to his level on the ground but towering over him in some sort of display of power.
What was standing in front of him? What did they want from him? Were they going to send him back to complete his job in helping Aang? Were they going to lead him out of the spirit-forest-clearing place? A million thoughts ran through Zuko’s head as he tilted his neck up to try and catch the face of the spirit before him.
Without the fog surrounding them, the spirit person-thing was a bit easier to look at. A bit wasn’t exactly saying much, but it helped. They were in nice looking clothing, albeit in strange, painful to look at colors. The clothes looked expensive. Alright, the spirit was probably formerly someone influential. Zuko could work with that. He knew of lots of the important people in Fire Nation history.
“Zuko, crown prince of the Fire Nation, son of Fire Lord Ozai and Ursa,” The figure spoke in a tone that seemed to surround Zuko entirely. He could hear it from every surrounding corner, even from within his own head. “Stand.”
Zuko scrambled to his feet as fast as he could, deliberately averting his eyes from the spirit that stood before him. He would never admit it, but the aura surrounding the spirit oozed the same sort of demand of respect that his father had when he was a child, and he wasn’t quite too fond of the memories involving that particular aura.
“Do you know where you are, child?” The figure’s voice, despite the power oozing from it, was warm. Spirits weren’t exactly all that welcoming in most of the stories about them. Zuko wasn’t quite sure what the spirit was going to do to him, but he didn’t have too much time to consider.
“The spirit plane?” Zuko’s voice wavered as he tried to convince himself to look the spirit in the eyes. It had been much too long since he had been around his father, he had lost almost all of his knowledge of how to properly respect someone of the magnitude of... this.
“Indeed. Do you know why you are here?” The spirit’s robes dragged along the floor as it stepped closer to Zuko, the bright golden fabric snagging on the bumpy ground. The spirit didn’t seem to notice. The brightness of the fabric was getting more and more uncomfortable to look at.
“I- um, I died, I think,” Zuko shifted uncomfortably in his spot, glancing back and forth around the ground, pointedly avoiding looking at the spirit. He wondered if that was considered more disrespectful than just looking them in the eye or not. His father would have already punished him for his indecisiveness if this were him.
“You did. Such a shame, isn’t it,” The spirit’s voice sounded vaguely similar to how he remembered his mothers had. He missed his mother. “As it turns out though, now is not your time to pass.”
Zuko snapped his eyes up to the spirit’s face. It’s eyes were a burning gold, and it’s mouth didn’t seem to be moving when it spoke. Zuko didn’t pay much attention to those facts because, what did the spirit just say?
Wasn’t everything meant to have a purpose, a reason, a time to happen?
“But you have passed. I suppose I could attempt to change that, but as it happens, the repercussions for that particular event have already begun,” The figure’s face almost seemed sad. “That being said, if I am going to interfere with mortal events, I may as well interfere more.”
Zuko could barely understand what the spirit was talking about. Were they saying that they were going to bring him back to life somehow? Were they saying that somehow Azula had managed to mess up the plan that the spirits already had in place for the events taking place? Was that even something that could happen? And ‘mess up things more’, were they just going to remove Zuko from the world entirely, even before he had been struck with lightning?
“I- I... what?” Zuko couldn’t think of anything to say.
The spirit was already an intimidating presence, but now it appeared that Zuko’s life may or may not lie in their hands. Not the first time something like that happened, but it was definitely one of the more stressful instances.
“You were not meant to die in battle with your sister. And as that has happened, the world shall... not go to plan. The plan that us spirits had in place, at the very least. Balance will not be restored,” The figure spoke clearly, gesturing lightly. Zuko wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating.
“While I suppose I could let the world play out how it now seems to be on course to, I, rather selfishly I suppose, do not wish for that to happen. As such, I shall be returning you to your plane,” The spirit... smiled? It looked strange and did not suit the figure's face, but it was more welcoming than the blank expression that had previously been staring down at him.
“You can do that?” Zuko’s face gave away the excitement he had been attempting to not quite show.
“I can do much more than that.”
The spirit reached its hand towards Zuko, then stopped halfway between their bodies. It’s face twisted for a moment, seeming to reconsider.
“I cannot- no, I will not send you back to where you last were, prince,” The spirit sighed. “I will send you much earlier in your life. I do not think that sending you to your fight would end how I had originally envisioned, and as selfish as it may be, I do not wish for the outcome I had hoped for to not have the possibility of happening. I will put you much earlier in your life, when you will have a much better chance of changing the outcome of the future.”
“I’m supposed to do what?” If Zuko’s tone wasn’t betraying him enough, the way his voice cracked at the end of the sentence definitely just made it sound like he was screaming ‘I can’t do this I can’t do this’ over and over in his mind.
“It is alright if you are stressed, child. It is a daunting task, trying to right past wrongs. You will have my guidance, I promise that,” The spirit’s sleeves rustled as it rested its hand on Zuko’s shoulder. It was burning hot but yet somehow didn’t hurt at all. It was warm and comforting and telling him he had to go back in time to stop his father from winning a war against a twelve year old before the twelve year old was even conscious.
“I’m not- I’m not stressed. It’s just... are you sure- I mean, you really think that I, of all people- would be the right person to do... this?” Zuko sounded like he was going to cry. He was on the verge of doing so, but the powerful spirit standing before him, telling him he had to save the world, didn’t need to know that.
“You will be fine. I will be with you,” The spirit smiled. The smile did not comfort Zuko. Much.
“Well then, I supposed I should get you back as soon as I can. Which, luckily for you, is now,” The spirit’s hand felt heavy on his shoulder. All the sudden, the air surrounding him grew constricting and unbearably hot. The ground felt like it was pulling him in. “Good luck, child.”
“Wait- wait, plea-” Zuko could no longer talk. Everything was pushing down on him, pulling him down, down- and it was all dark.
Zuko could barely breathe. The air around him was hot and uncomfortable. He could feel something constricting his body, holding him down. He wanted to thrash around and stand up, wake up from whatever he had been imagining.
His eyes slowly opened. He couldn’t get them much more than half open, but that was more than enough to see his surroundings.
He was no longer in the clearing. There was no rush of air around his ears, no welcoming warmth from the surrounding fog. He was also not in the middle of a fight with his little sister. There was no pain or burns or any of the sharp, searing pain from the lightning strike. He was in the palace. He was in his room.
His childhood bedroom. From before he was banished. From before his sister turned into... what she had. From before his mother had disappeared and his father had become the Fire Lord. The room was larger than what he remembered, but every little detail was the same.
Had the spirit actually sent him back in time? Was that something a spirit could do? Would he be a younger version of himself, or had it sent him, body and all? Would he actually be able to change the path of events for the better?
“Ah, your highness, you’re awake!” He could hear a friendly voice to his left. He nearly jumped. He could not jump, he realized. All his limbs felt heavy and he was indescribably tired.
The voice walked closer to him, close enough that he could see the person talking. It was a servant, he realized. He had known her name at one point, but it had been nearly four years since he had last seen her. She was holding a wet cloth.
Zuko tried to speak, but he could not so much as open his mouth. He looked up at the woman and hoped that she could, somehow, explain what was going on.
She did not explain what was going on. She simply reached forward and removed the cloth from Zuko’s forehead, had that been there before? And replaced it with the one in her hand. It was nice and cool. She caught him looking at her and smiled.
“I do hope you begin to feel better soon, your highness. Your mother is very worried for you. The fire flu affects some worse than others, so let’s hope you’ve got it easy,” The servant, her name- it was just outside his memory, bent down and retrieved a small cup from Zuko’s nightstand.
The fire flu? Zuko had only had that once in his life, when he was barely nine years old. It wasn’t exactly something people had multiple times once they had already developed tolerance to it. It wasn’t like- wait. He had it when he was nine. He was nine.
The spirit, true to its word, had sent him back in time. Seven years back in time.
The woman pushed the cup to his lips, making him drink the foul tasting medicine inside. He barely remembered having the fire flu, but he could remember no medicine ever tasted good. It was an ok trade off if it made him feel better, but it was alright to complain in the moment.
“We were all worried when you didn’t wake at all yesterday, your highness. I’m glad you’re feeling better now. Rest well,” The girl picked up the tray she had been carrying and, after a bow lower than he had seen in years since he had returned to the palace just a few months ago, walked out of the room.
The spirit really had sent Zuko to the past, so they had stayed true to that promise. Now all he could hope was that the spirit would stay true on his promise of helping him. And Agni help him, he would need every bit of support possible if he, nine year old him, wanted to stop his father from destroying the world any further than he already had.