Chapter Text
The vibes between the brothers had been—tense, to say the least, since Regulus was sorted into Slytherin. Before Hogwarts and houses, Sirius and Regulus would play games—play pranks. Sirius always took the fall if they were caught—but Regulus would slip into his room in the night and hold him through the tremors and the tears. That ended when Regulus’ name was called out by a dusty, crumply hat followed by the blasphemous word Slytherin .
Their days of games and tricks came to an end, and the brothers hardly spoke to each other. Even the night Sirius left, hardly a word was passed between them. But the words that were said carried a hefty weight.
“You’re leaving,” Regulus said from the doorway as he watched Sirius hastily pack his belongings. His brother froze at the fact—and it was a fact. Sirius had been burned one too many times by the electric shock of the cruciatus curse, and he knew if he had to endure the pain one more time by the hand of his mother , he would crack like the bust that used to sit at the end of the hall before a wild game got out of hand and it shattered on the floor into hundreds of tiny shards.
“I am,” Sirius said as he stood up straight—challenging him. Daring him to run and tell his parents of his plans to vacate this haunted dwelling and never come back.
But he didn’t—Regulus leaned against the frame of the door with his arms crossed and nodded once, “Good.”
Sirius blinked back—baffled at first, then his bewilderment turned to a white-hot rage, “ Good —that's—that’s all you have to say to me? Good ?”
Regulus gave his brother a once over—slowly tracing his form as if he wanted to memorize him—to imprint Sirius in his mind and let him live there—as if he would never see him again. Which was preposterous, of course, as they would still see each other in school—but he did so just the same. Then he kicked himself off the frame and lowered his arms to his side. “Yes, Siri.” Regulus whispered as he turned to leave the room, “You never belonged in a cage.” Regulus slowly slid his fingers down the frame of the door and looked back at his brother one last time, “I hope you find your freedom—and truly—I hope you enjoy it.” Regulus said somberly—but with no hint of falsehood in his shaky voice.
“Co—“ Sirius cleared his throat as his eyes began to swell with unshed tears. “Come with me. You don’t—you don’t belong here either, Reggie.”
Regulus shook his head, “No, I don’t. But I’m not ready to go just yet.”
Sirius took quick steps over to his brother and wrapped his arms around the boy as he gripped him tightly and whispered in his ear, “When you’re ready—whenever you’re ready—you know where to find me.”
He felt Regulus nod against his cheek, “I’ll be waiting for you, Reggie. I’ll always wait for you.” Sirius pressed a chaste kiss to the back of his brother's head and let go and watched as his brother left his room, then he turned back and continued to pack his meager life into a trunk, walked down the stairs in the dead of night, and never looked back.
**********
Sirius spent a blissful summer with James—he hadn’t known a happy summer in five years--but the Potter manor wouldn’t allow anything less. Days by the lake, thrashing about like the wild thing he was—rather than the well-trained animal he was forced to mask as. But at night, when the sun went down, and the stars shone brightly in the country darkness—Sirius would fix his eyes on the stars and wish. And one night—three days before they were to return to Hogwarts, his 66 wishes were heard and answered as a stiff three-knock rapping echoed in the foyer against the wooden door.
Sirius looked at Monty—fearful that his parents had finally come to collect him. But Effie gave him a quick wink and a soothing hand on his that rubbed lightly and squeezed tightly as Monty went to answer the door. When he returned, he was not alone. In the doorframe of the kitchen stood his doppelgänger with unsure eyes and a pinched face.
“Does the offer still stand, Siri?” Regulus quirked a brow, feigning nonchalance, but the nails digging into his fleshy palm betrayed him. Slowly, Sirius rose from the table and watched Regulus take in a sharp breath and hold it. His brother was here. His brother was here . Sirius rounded the table with a quickness, flying into his brother's arms that clung to his sides. He wrapped his arms around his brother, and even through the awkward stiffness of Regulus’ body, he found the thought of letting go unbearable. Sirius felt as if this was a dream, and if he lost physical contact for a moment, Regulus would slip through his fingers and dissipate like mist in the cool night air.
Yourehereyourhereyourhere echoed in his mind, and suddenly, he felt the tentative touch of his brother's hands on his back squeezing lightly, and the petal soft voice whispered in his ear, “I’m here, Siri.”
Sirius sobbed into his brother's hair as he coiled himself further into his brother's embrace. He lifted his hand to cup the back of Regulus’ head, feeling the soft curls against his palm and between his fingers. The urge to feel every sensation of his brother overwhelmed him. To see him—he looked through bleary eyes and saw his brother trapped in his crushing embrace. To hear him—Regulus' shaky breathing and affirming words that he was real . To smell him—Sirius buried his nose and smelt the familiar scent of cinnamon and lilies. To touch him—velvet softness in one hand and a rigid spine against his other. To taste him—Sirius began peppering soft, affectionate kisses against his neck and shoulder as he cried—“You’re here ."
Finally, Sirius was able to muster the strength to let go. Once he was sure that his brother would not fade away, he looked at Regulus in a way he hadn’t for years. They were so similar in their looks—but so different in their demeanor and the way they held themselves.
But this night—Sirius found himself creeping out of James’ bed and into Regulus’ room, where he found a wide-eyed boy sitting on the window sill gazing at the stars. He took his place on the opposite side of the window and stared at the only star he ever longed to see. Even when they weren’t speaking during their time at Hogwarts—Sirius always found himself looking for his mirror.
“I know,” Sirius began hesitantly, “I know—we haven’t been the best brothers we could be to each other the last few years.”
Regulus snorted as he looked away from Sirius and toward—well— Sirius .
“But I’d like to try again.” That drew his younger brother's attention, and with starlight eyes twinkling back at him, he continued, “I want to get to know you again—if you’ll let me.”
Regulus clenched his jaw, and Sirius expected the worst, the how dare you’ s and the fuck off and die ’s. But they never came. All that arrived was a light shake of ruffled curls and a slight smirk, “whatever you like, Siri.”
**********
They had a pact. An agreement. An accord. To meet every day for one hour. Almost like a date—a brotherly date. They would sit alone on the grass and talk about whatever their hearts desired. And lately—their hearts desired to complain .
“He’s driving me crazy—Lily this and Lily that. Doesn’t ever shut up about her. And it’s just nothingness—just the same—“ Sirius pinched his voice, “she’s so pretty, and she’s so brilliant, and she’s so funny. He never goes into detail about why he thinks she’s pretty or brilliant or funny—just that she is .”
“I’d take that any day over the nauseating display that is Barty and Evan’s odd mating ritual.” Regulus laughed as he tugged at the weed beneath him and pulled it from the ground. It was brilliant to see Regulus laugh again. His eyes crinkled, and his plump pink lips curved slightly upward, and Sirius could not stop melting at how liberated his brother looked. It was refreshing to see in comparison to the droll, blank stare generally occupying his face.
Regulus continued as he looped the stem of the weed and threaded the previously picked stem through the hole, "They already act like an old married couple but refuse to acknowledge their feelings for each other. It's sickening. It's exhausting ," Regulus sighed dramatically as he threw himself against the grass. Sirius picked up the unfinished crown and continued to work on shaping it as he plucked the yellow flower from the ground.
"I'd take that any day. At least they have a shot with each other. James doesn't stand a chance."
Regulus pulled one arm over his eyes to shield them from the harsh rays of the midday sun and waved apathetically toward Sirius with the other, "You can have them."
Sirius paused as he worked the stem through the eye of the loop he had created. "I could."
Regulus lifted himself to lean on his elbows and forearms while his long legs stretched along the untamed grass. He arched an intrigued brow and launched a smirk at Sirius' feral grin.
"I've got an idea," Sirius said, and instantly, all humor drained from his brother's face.
"No," Regulus said sternly and began to stand up.
Sirius scrambled to follow him--he snatched the flower crown from his lap and ran to chase after his brother. "Hear me out, Reggie,"
Regulus shook his head, "Nope. Absolutely not." He turned to face his brother and pointed his finger into Sirius' chest. "I know that look, Siri. That look spells nothing but trouble. How many times?" Regulus took a step forward, and Sirius followed his lead, stepping back and found himself fixed between Regulus and the cold stone pillar. "How many times did we get in trouble because of that look ?"
"Well, technically, I was the one who got punished." Sirius jibbed, but the joke did not land; instead, it crashed as Regulus' eyes burned with anger.
"If you think you're the only one who got punished, you are sorely mistaken. I had to watch you cry , plead , bleed . And if you don't think that broke a piece of me--" Regulus removed his pointed finger from Sirius' chest and straightened himself, "well, maybe you don't know me at all."
Sirius saw molten silver in the eyes that pierced him--melted him. Regulus twisted his body to get away, but Sirius' hand grasped his wrist and pulled him in a hug, which his brother naturally resisted, but after a few moments of the unrelenting hold, Regulus sank into the embrace. "I'm trying, Reggie. I know things can’t go back to the way they were, but this ? We can have this. No one is going to hurt me for this—it’s harmless fun, and I’d really like to—fuck—I’d really like to do this with you. Honestly, I think it could be good for us if you’re willing to hear me out.”
Sirius let Regulus go so he could see his face, muddled with worry as his younger brother trapped his bottom lip between his teeth. But he nodded and mirrored the smile that had blossomed on Sirius’ face. “Yeah, alright, tell me what that devious brain has cooked up.”
Sirius took the flower crown he had finished crafting and placed it on Regulus’ head. He wrapped one arm around his brother's shoulder and swept his hand through the air, “Picture it with me: a prank on our friends and a bet for us. We pretend to be each other for a week. We tell no one. The first person to either get caught or tap out loses.”
Regulus furrowed his brow, “Polyjuice?” Sirius eyed his brother up and down. Regulus’ eyes were slightly lighter than his own, his hair was curly where Sirius’ fell in waves, and his brother’s cheek bones were sharper but other than that–they could have passed for twins. He knew Regulus was clever enough to cast a few simple charms to mimic the discrepancies so, he shook his head, and his wavy locks swayed with the movement, “nah. We’re similar enough—you’re just as tall as I am, which, by the way—when the fuck did that happen?”
Regulus smirked, “I grew about two inches over the summer—kind of you to just notice now .”
Sirius frowned, then shook his head again, “Anyway—I think a couple of glamours would do the trick.” Sirius watched as Regulus’ starlight eyes swept over his frame and nodded, “All right. What are the terms?”
“Every day we meet, we’ll switch back. So we’ll only be the other person every other day. If you’re caught—you lose. If you tap out—you lose.”
“What happens if we lose?”
Sirius thought for a moment, then fixed his brother with an impish grin, “Veritaserum. The loser has to take Veritaserum, and the winner can ask any questions they want—no limit.” Sirius stared at his brother while he processed thinking of the pros and cons of the deal before Regulus’ eyes mirrored his own, riddled with mischief. “I’ll do you one better. I’ve been working on a Veritaserum that will last 12 hours rather than the normal 30 minutes. Loser has to drink that—and resume their day as they normally would.”
Sirius frowned at the thought of revealing all his secrets to anyone but his brother, but he always loved a challenge , so he nodded his head and held out his hand.
“When do we begin?” He asked as he waited for his brother to accept the deal. Regulus stretched out his hand and muttered, “No time like the present.”